The Amanda Show
The Amanda Show is a sketch comedy/variety show airing on Nickelodeon from 1999 to 2002 and starring Amanda Bynes in multiple roles.
Season 1
[edit]Episode 1
[edit]- Amanda: "We've gotta fly towards Nickelodeon! Please hurry, I've got a show to do."
- Helicopter Pilot: "Nickelodeon? are you one of them Rugrats?" (He begins chuckling.)
- Amanda: "No, I'm Amanda--Amanda Bynes."
- Helicopter Pilot: "Oh, I wish you were one of them Rugrats."
- Amanda: I am so excited to be doing the show because I am working with some really cool people. [loud thud] Um, it's like a dream come true, because, on a regular show, you'd never...[loud thud]...what's that noise?
- [The noise was Penelope trying to break into a room.]
- Amanda: And everyone here on the show really makes me feel at home. The only thing missing is my room.
- Audience member 1: Hey, Amanda. Since you're the star of the show, do you think you can get pizza and flowers delivered to you in under 30 seconds by two of your favorite TV stars?
- Audience member 2: And get me a banana nut muffin?
- Amanda: Okay, come on; there is no way that I can get a pizza delivered in under...
- [She gets interrupted by cheers and applause, and turns around to see that two All That cast members, Josh Server and Kenan Thompson, have delivered her flowers and a pizza.]
- Audience member 2: <after Kenan throws him a banana nut muffin> I LOVE YOU, MAN!
Kyle Rostensan: [Drake Bell, on the sketch "Totally Kyle"; playing his electric guitar] "Blockblister"!
[Cut to Blockbuster sketch; it is a parody of Blockbuster]
First customer: [Raquel Lee Bolleau] Excuse me.
Blini Blokey: [Amanda Bynes; Italian accent] Hello. Welcome to our video store. How’m I to be helping you?
First customer: I rented this video tape here, and I am not happy.
Gnocchi Blokey: [John Kassir; Italian accent] I’m Gnocchi Blokey, the manager; why are you to be not happy?
First customer: I “to be” not happy, because I rented the movie Screams, and this is not Screams.
Blini: No, no, no; you no asked for Screams; you asked for Screamings.
First customer: Screamings?! Just play the tape.
Gnocchi: Yaga.
[He plays the time, on which Blini and Biscotti are each dressed as Ghostface; Blini screams, then Biscotti screams; they do this three times altogether, and then they both scream in unison]
Gnocchi: Do not worry, my children; is only a movie.
Blini: But is so scary…
First customer: What was that? That wasn’t Screams.
Gnocchi: Yes; this movie better.
Blini and Biscotti: [in unison] MUCH BETTER!
Gnocchi: This was my daughter Blini, and my son Biscotti.
First customer: Your acting is horrendous.
Biscotti: [Drake Bell; Italian accent] Is true!
Blini: Thank you! How you’ll be paying me?
First customer: I'll pay you with this island curse...atuna-pakuna…osch-a-tosch…hiya!
[She departs]
Blini: Papa, what does this talk of tuna mean?
Gnocchi: I think this means…it is Spanish for ”I love your fine acting”!
Blini and Biscotti: Ah…
Second customer: [Nancy Sullivan] Excuse me. I rented this movie here last night and I was most disappointed; this is not Star Trek.
Blini: No, no, no. Last night, you no ask for Star Trek; you asked for Star Drek.
Second customer: Star Drek?
Gnocchi: Yes; is better!
Blini and Biscotti: [in unison] MUCH BETTER!
Second customer: Negative. This is not “better”. Put that onscreen.
Gnocchi: Yaga.
[He plays the movie; it features Blini as Lt. Leslie and Biscotti as Spock]
Blini/Lt. Leslie: Hello. We are in outer spaces.
Biscotti/Spock: Yes. This frontier is final.
Blini/Lt. Leslie: I do not like you, so I will huh-zap you with my phaser.
[She holds up a flashlight]
Biscotti/Spock: Don’t huh-you dare…
Blini/Lt. Leslie: [shining the flashlight on him] Buzz…
Biscotti/Spock: Owie! That hurts me bad! Now is time to beam up.
[He opens his cellphone]
Biscotti/Spock: Underprise! Underprise! Beam up me! Zzzzzz…
[He exits from the scene; Blini/Lt. Leslie shrugs; Gnocchi turns off the tape]
Second customer: That’s not Star Trek! That’s just you two refugees pretending; you should be arrested!
Biscotti: Is true!
Blini: Thank you...would you like me to sign my face for you?
[She shows a picture of her face to the customer]
Second customer: What kind of Blockbuster store is this?!
Gnocchi: No, no, no, no; we are not Blockbuster…
Biscotti: We are Blockblister!
[He shows her a sign of their store]
Second customer: Blockblister?
Gnocchi: Yes; we better!
Blini and Biscotti: [in unison] MUCH BETTER!
Blini: How you’ll be paying me?
Second customer: I, won’t…
Gnocchi, Blini, and Biscotti: [in unison] O-o-o-oh…
Second customer: Live long and suffer!
[Enter the third customer]
Second customer: [to the third customer] SUFFER…
[She departs]
Third customer: [Andrew Hill Newman] All right, I rented The Brady Bunch last evening, but this is not the Brady Bunch that I’m aware of.
Blini: Oh, no; you no ask for The Brady Bunch; you asked for The Brady…Brunch!
Third customer: “Brunch”?! Just play this tape on your VCR machine; you’ll see what’s what.
Gnocchi: Yaga.
[Plays the tape, on which Biscotti and Blini are dressed as Greg and Marcia Brady]
Blini/Marcia: I have hairs of gold.
Biscotti/Greg: Like your mother.
Blini/Marcia: The youngest one, she is in curls.
Biscotti/Greg: You know, my father, he has three boys of his own.
Blini/Marcia: Yes; this is the way that we become the Brady Brunch.
Biscotti/Greg: Oh, look…here comes our lonely housekeeper; that Alice.
[Enter Gnocchi; he is wearing a uniform similar to that of Alice Nelson, the housekeeper from The Brady Bunch, but without an apron]
Gnocchi/Alice: Clean your rooms now.
Biscotti/Greg: Oh, Alice…
[He and Blini/Marcia feign laughter]
Biscotti/Greg and Blini/Marcia: [singing in unison] ♪The Brady Brunch…the Brady Brunch…this is way we become the Brady Brunch…♪
[Gnocchi turns off the tape]
Third customer: Those were not the Bradys. They weren’t even a bunch.
Gnocchi: Yes; this movie better!
Biscotti and Blini: [in unison] MUCH BETTER!
Third customer: No. You people are peculiar. Every year for 12 years, I’ve rented a Brady film to celebrate my release from the clinic. But this year, there were no Bradys; no bunch…no joy…just, this—this piece of horribleness; Brady Brunch?! What do you think I am; some kinda cock-a-doodle-doo?! I oughta…I oughta…oh, the panic attack…call the clinic!
[He faints]
Blini: Papa! This man, he fall asleep on our floor!
Gnocchi: Yes! This means he was knocked out by our wonderful comedy!
Biscotti: Then let us dance!
Gnocchi: Yes!
[Gnocchi, Biscotti, and Blini link arms and start dancing]
[From episode 13]
Season 2
[edit]Episode 15
[edit]- Audience member's great-grandmother: DON'T TRUST THE GERMANS!
- Amanda: Uh, okay.
- Amanda: <after the great-grandmother laughs> Uh, ma'am, that wasn't the funny part.
- Audience member's great-grandmother: CREAMED CORN!
Episode 18
[edit]- Amanda: Hey! What's with all the hair dryers? You blew a fuse!
- Nancy: We're having a wiener roast.
- Amanda: Over 30 hair dryers?
- Nancy: Yeah. We're not allowed to start a fire in here. Wiener?
- Amanda: Sure, okay. [to audience] We're going to roast some wieners, so stick around! We'll be back in a second to do stuff!
Season 3
[edit]Episode 33
[edit]- Amanda: Okay, look. I have to be totally honest with you guys. I'm really not in the best mood. <audience groans> Well, see, look; here's the problem. I usually get really nice letters from fans of the show, but yesterday, I got this. <She pulls out a letter.> Listen to what this kid wrote: "Dear Amanda, I hate The Amanda Show! <audience gasps> Sincerely, Michael. P.S. I hate your show!" Can you believe what this kid, Michael, wrote?
- Audience member 1: <stands up> LET'S GET HIM!
- <The crowd starts to cheer and rally. Amanda finally gets their attention.>
- Amanda: Okay, calm down! Easy! Easy! Look, I really appreciate your mob mentality, but everybody has a right to say what they think.
- Audience member 2: I think the Russians ate the moon!
- Amanda: Except for that guy. Okay, look; since this Michael kid hates the show, I think I should go talk to him about it. Yeah?
- Audience: Yeah.
- <Amanda opens the letter again.>
- Amanda: Okay, let's see. His address is right here, so you guys sit tight, and I'll go see what this kid's problem is.
- <Amanda waves goodbye and walks off the set. The camera cuts to Michael's house, where she knocks on the door, and Michael's mother answers.>
- Michael's mother: Yes? Can I help you?
- Amanda: Hi. Is Michael here?
- Michael's mother: Yes. He's inside, booing at the TV. Come on in.
- <The two walk inside to the living room, where Michael is booing at the television set.>
- Michael: BOO! BOO! I HATE THIS SHOW! BOO!
- <He throws a shoe at the TV as Amanda walks in.>
- Michael's mother: There he is.
- Amanda: Uh, hi?
- Michael: Who are you?
- Amanda: I'm Amanda. You wrote me a letter. You said you hated The Amanda Show.
- Michael: Yeah. I'm watching it now!
- <Amanda looks at the TV screen with a very confused look on her face. Eventually it dawns on her that Michael is tuning in to the wrong program thinking it was "The Amanda Show.">
- Clam World Narrator: The male clams ask the female clams to dance.
- Amanda: That's not "The Amanda Show!" That's "Clam World!" Here!
- <She takes the remote and changes the channel to "The Amanda Show," which currently shows the "Crazy Courtney" sketch where Courtney runs for class president, and wins by cheating in the form of humiliating her opponent.>
- Amanda: That's "The Amanda Show."
- Michael: <laughs after watching> This IS pretty funny! <laughs some more> Oh, you rock! <laughs even more> This is a great show!
- <Amanda looks into the camera which zooms out to reveal the studio monitors showing her at the house.>
- Amanda: So stick around! We'll be back in a second to do stuff! Whoo-hoo!
- <Cheers and applause from the studio audience.>
Penelope Taynt
[edit]Master Security Crossing Body Guard/Police Captures Penelope (Scene in the 1999 Pilot Episode)
[edit]- Penelope: Sir! My name is Penelope Taynt! I'm Amanda's number one fan! I have my very own Amanda website: www.AmandaPlease.com.
- Security Guard: Yeah, yeah. You're www.- coming with me!
Penelope Bribes Josh
[edit]- [Josh is playing rock, paper, scissors against himself in the mirror when Penelope shows up.]
- Penelope: Where's Amanda?! [Josh screams.] I said, "Where's Amanda, please?"
- Josh: I...I don't know.
- Penelope: How very sad for you.
- [She holds up a tuning fork with electricity inside it.]
- Josh: No! Oh, please don't damage me! I'm just starting puberty! It's going to be a whole new world!
- Penelope: Wait!
- Josh: What?!
- Penelope: You're an actor on The Amanda Show!
- Josh: Yeah.
- Penelope: Perhaps you can be useful to me.
- Josh: How?
- Penelope: Introduce me to Amanda!
- Josh: You're crazy! I'll get fired!
- Penelope: I'll make it worth your while.
- Josh: Huh?
- Penelope: You know, you scratch my back, I scratch yours.
- Josh: Uh, okay. [He turns around.] Right between the shoulders.
- Penelope: No, brainless! [Slaps him on the butt.] I'm offering you a deal!
- Josh: What kind of a deal?
- [Penelope grabs Josh's hair to make him stand up, and he reacts to it.]
- Penelope: You introduce me to Amanda, and I will make your co-actor, Blake, disappear.
- Josh: Drake? Why would I want Drake to disappear?
- Penelope: Think about it, simple boy. With Blake gone, you'll get to play all of his parts on the show.
- Josh: Wow.
- [Josh imagines himself in a Hillbilly Moment sketch, Tony Pajamas sketch, and Totally Kyle sketch, in the roles where Drake normally appears; the first two sketches air later in the episode.]
- Penelope: Well?
- Josh: How do we get rid of Blake?
- Barney: Am I in...China?
- Penelope: Remember our deal; I dispose of Blake.
- Josh: Drake.
- Penelope: It matters!
- Josh:: Sorry.
- Penelope: I get rid of Blake, and you introduce me to Amanda.
Air Duct
[edit]- Staff worker: Who are you?
- Penelope: I'm...the air conditioning man.
- Staff worker: But you're a girl.
- Penelope: Prove it! Where's Amanda, please?
- Staff worker: Oh, she went to get dressed. She has to be on stage in just a minute.
- Penelope: Does this air conditioning vent lead to the stage?
- Staff worker: I'm not sure.
- Penelope: Then thanks for nothing! I'll find Amanda myself, please! Fair thee well!
Judge Trudy
[edit]Introduction
[edit]- Announcer: This is the courtroom of Judge Trudy. When you have a beef, don't take the beef into your own hands. Put your beef in the hands of Judge Trudy. Okay.
Bailiff's Orders
[edit]- All rise!
- Get up!
- Rise up!
- Bottoms up!
- Hut 2!
- Get vertical!
- Straighten your spines!
- Stand, ye rand!
- Raise your rumps!
- Make with the rising!
I hereby sentence you...
[edit]- ...to a cage match with two professional wrestlers!
- ...to one week locked up in a box with two contagious sick people!
- ...to be chased by an unpredictable man in a gorilla suit!
- ...to be sold to the highest bidder in the courtroom!
- ...to put a brand new 33-inch television in this boy's room; furthermore, I sentence you two to play dodgeball with three bitter Marines! Let the games begin!
- ...to give a very old woman piggyback for the next three years!
- ...Miss DeBoat over here to go on a romantic date with Janitor Jim!
- ...Dr. Pain In The Butt over here to get a little shot herself! Bailiff!
- ...to spend three years on the planet Venus!
Defendant can't pay the fine
[edit]- Well, then you're going in a leopard cage!
- Well, then I'll have to confiscate your dress!
- Then this bailiff will have to put an angry chipmunk down your pants!
- I'll have to ask the bailiff to dump that man's plate of lasagna down your trousers!
Second case introductions
[edit]- The litigants for our next case are entering the courtroom. See them? That's them.
- Our next litigants are entering the courtroom. See the pants that guy's wearing? I have those same pants.
- The litigants for our next case are entering the courtroom. I wonder if they have any gum.
- Here come our next litigants. I bet one of them trips. [The defendant trips while walking] Told ya.
- The litigants for our next case are entering the courtroom. I wish my name was Stephanie.
- The litigants for our next case are entering the courtroom. I wish I'd gone to college.
- This is a special emergency trial in Judge Trudy's classroom. The defendant: Miss DeBoat. The plaintiff: Rodney Rippy. My parents wish that I'd never been born.
- The litigants for our next case are entering the courtroom. Women laugh at me.
- The litigants for our next case are entering the courtroom. No one invites me to parties.
- The litigants for our next case are entering the courtroom. I'm a disappointment to my parents.
Conclusion
[edit]- Court dismissed! Bring in the Dancing Lobsters!
Dialogue
[edit]Collage Teacher
[edit]- Plaintiff: Well, Judge Trudy, my teacher, Miss Burkel...she gave me the detention.
- [crowd boos]
- Miss Burkel: I had every right to give him detention! Look at me!
- Judge Trudy: You can't give a kid detention just because you're unattractive!
- Miss Burkel: I am talking about these things! They're all stuck to me!
- Judge Trudy: Now it's his fault you're sticky?!
- Miss Burkel: I am NOT sticky by nature! He put glue on everything in the classroom!
- Plaintiff: You said to make a collage!
- Miss Burkel: Not upon me!
- Plaintiff: Who says "upon"?
- Miss Burkel: Listen, glue boy.
- Judge Trudy: One more interruption and I'll glue something to your butt!
- Miss Burkel: THERE'S NO MORE ROOM ON MY BUTT!
- <She turns and shows a globe is glued to her butt. The judge bangs the gavel to quiet the gallery, who was snickering.>
- Judge Trudy: Order! Order! This situation does NOT call for snickering!
- Miss Burkel: Thank you!
- Judge Trudy: It calls for pointing and loud laughter. Begin.
- <The gallery does so for five seconds.>
- Judge Trudy: <bangs gavel> I hereby sentence you to be sold to the highest bidder in the courtroom!
- Random gallery member: $1!
- Judge Trudy: <bangs gavel again> Sold! Take her away!
Stop Motion Amanda
[edit]Awards Show Dream
[edit]- <In her dream, Penelope is nominated for an award for her website, www.AmandaPlease.com, on an awards program presented by Whoopi Goldberg. This is one of the Stop Motion Amanda segments.>
- Whoopi Goldberg: All right, people! And now, the moment you've all been waiting for: the award for the best website in the world! And the winner for the best website is... <opens envelope and waits for drum roll to end> ...www.AmandaPlease.com by Penelope Taynt! Penelope Taynt, come on up, girlfriend!
- <Penelope walks on stage during the resulting applause.>
- Penelope: Thank you! Thank you, please! As you people know, my name is Penelope Taynt! I'm Amanda's number one fan, please, and I would like to thank the academy for giving me this award for the best website of the year, please! <bows during applause> In fact, I can think of no better way to say "thank you" than to show you all my website right now! <opens laptop> www.AmandaPlease.com. This week, you can win a surprise from "The Amanda Show!" <clicks on link> See? That's the gavel Amanda uses when she plays Judge Trudy! If you visit my website, you might win this actual gavel...which I stole! <clicks another link> Now, let's view the Amanda Video Clip of the Week! Watch as Amanda actually gargles...and spits! <The video shows Amanda gargling mouthwash before spitting it into her bathroom sink.> She's minty fresh, please! <clicks home page link> Back to the home page, where you'll find tons of Amanda games! <closes laptop> So, isn't my website excellent!
- <applause>
- Whoopi: Let's hear it for www.AmandaPlease.com!
- <applause>
- Penelope: Thank you, Whopper!
- Whoopi: Whoopi. And now, Penelope, we have another surprise for you! Since your website, www.AmandaPlease.com is so excellent, you now get to meet Amanda!
- <Penelope faints and subsequently knocks Whoopi's head off her body.>
- Penelope: I can't believe I finally get to meet Amanda, please!
- Whoopi: Could you put my head back on my body, please?
- Penelope: Sorry, please. <She reattaches Whoopi's head to her body.> There. Now where's Amanda?
- Whoopi: She's right over there! Amanda, come on up!
- Penelope: Amanda! Amanda! Amanda, please! Amanda!
- <The scene switches back to live action, which shows Penelope is dreaming.>
- Penelope: ...Amanda, Amanda, Amanda! Where are you? Amanda! <wakes up> Please? It was a dream?! Why must I always awaken before I meet Amanda? I must continue sleeping immediately! Good night, please! <She hits herself in the face with her laptop and knocks herself out.>
The Girls' Room
[edit]- Debbie: I like eggs!
- Debbie: If my name was Elizabeth, it'd be Elizabeth!
- Tammy: My name's Tammy. I'm an exchange student from Tennessee.
- Debbie: Don't forget to vote for Amber for president!
- Danielle: Why would I want to vote for Amber when I'm running for president?
- Debbie: Happy Hanukkah!
- Sheila: Your turn.
- Debbie: Oh, sorry. I'll have a cheeseburger, fries, and a large root beer.
- Sheila: We're doing the show! Earth to Debbie!
- Debbie: Hi, Earth!
- Sheila: You'd better check the date on your brain, because I think it expired!
- Debbie: Thanks!
- Debbie: My daddy has a car!
- Debbie: My mom uses a special ointment!
- Amber: [after seeing Jamie Bradford is really a boy, not a girl] Emergency conference!
- [The girls get together.]
- Amber: Oh my gosh!
- Sheila: Oh my gosh!
- Danielle: Oh my gosh!
- Tammy: Oh my gosh!
- Debbie: Oh my hammers!
- Tammy: Oh, for the love of Fat Elvis! Can we please get this show on the road?
- Tammy: Debbie, as a child, were you dropped on your head?
- Debbie: Sure! Lots of times!
My Name's Amanda...
[edit]- ...and welcome to my show!
- ...and I stay crunchy, even in milk!
- ...and I have my father's credit card!
- ...and my grandma makes great coleslaw!
- ...and I have no use for the metric system!
- ...and everybody here gets complementary chicken breasts!
- ...and I'm the star for the next half-hour!
- ...and my parents think I'm at the library!
- ...and we're on television!
- ...and I'm 100% biodegradable!
- ...and I'm freshly showered!
- ...and I come with everything you see here!
- ...and I contain 10% real fruit juice!
- ...and I come with your choice of fries or onion rings!
- ...and my dad's a dentist! <crowd boos> Uh, wait; my dad's not really a dentist. He's a guy who gives free ice cream to people! <crowd cheers>
- ...and everybody here gets a free car! <crowd cheers> Just kidding. <crowd groans sarcastically> No! I'm serious! You all get a free car!
- ...and my shoes taste just like chicken!
- ...and I...and I...I'm sorry! I forgot my line!
- ...and everyone here tonight gets a free cell phone! <crowd cheers as the staff hands out cell phones>
- ...and I say the fork is superior to the chopstick!
- ...and I enjoy red meat!
- ...and Nickelodeon pays me to do this!
- ...and my belly button contains no lint!
- ...and I declare this month "National Blow Off Your Homework Month!"
- ...and in case of emergency, I can be used as a floatation device!
- ...and we're writing by the best writers Nick can afford!
- ...and I have no use for the metric system!
- ...and I have feet at the end of my legs!
Hillbilly Moment
[edit]- Lula Mae: Knock, knock.
- Eenis: Who's there?
- Lula Mae: Rag doll.
- Eenis: Rag doll who?
- Lula Mae: I'm gonna hit you in the head with a rag doll!
- Eenis: [laughs] Uh, what?
- [Lula Mae hits Eenis with a rag doll and he trips around all over the place. Then he stands back up and laughs some more.]
- Eenis: Ha, ha; that's a good one!
NOTE: All jokes in this sketch are the same; the only difference is what Lula Mae hits Eenis with.
- Lula Mae: I'm gonna hit you in the head with a computer monitor!
- Lula Mae: I'm gonna hit you in the head with a bowling pin!
- Lula Mae: I'm gonna hit you in the head with a strawberry shortcake!
- Lula Mae: I'm gonna hit you in the head with a cactus branch!
- Lula Mae: I'm gonna hit you in the head with a steering wheel!
- Lula Mae: I'm gonna hit you in the head with a cement block!
- Lula Mae: I'm gonna hit you in the head with a pink toilet!
- Lula Mae: I'm gonna hit you in the head with a large clam! (To Josh Peck as Eenis)
- Lula Mae: I'm gonna hit you in the head with a meaty loaf!
- Lula Mae: I'm gonna hit you in the head with a witch broom!
- Lula Mae: I'm gonna hit you in the head with a frog puppet!
- Lula Mae: I'm gonna hit you in the head with a endangered species (Bald Eagle)!
- Lula Mae: I'm gonna hit you in the head with a DVD Player!
Totally Kyle
[edit]Mosquito Bite
[edit]- One time I had this mosquito bite, and it was all, like, itchy, so then I scratched it, and then it got all itchy again, so I, like, scratched it again, and then it got all itchy again, so then I scratched it again, and it got itchy. Again. So I scratched it...again!
Cheeseburger
[edit]- One time, I had this, like, double cheeseburger, and it was, like, good, and the juice was all, like, double, and it was, like, the best double cheeseburger that I ever, like, had, like, ever, in my life, and then a week later, I like, threw up.
Catchphrases
[edit]Amanda
[edit]- My name's Amanda, and...<insert funny line>.
- Stick around; we'll be back in a second to do stuff!
- Well, that's our show. I gotta go...<insert funny line>. See ya!
Penelope Taynt
[edit]- My name is Penelope Paynt. I'm Amanda's number one fan. I have my very own Amanda website: www.AmandaPlease.com.
- Please.
- Where's Amanda?
Totally Kyle
[edit]- From his garage, it's Totally Kyle!
- That was Totally Kyle!
- Totally!
The Girls' Room
[edit]- Debbie: I like eggs!
Judge Trudy
[edit]- Judge Trudy: <bangs gavel> Court dismissed! Bring in the Dancing Lobsters!
So You Wanna Win 5 Dollars?
[edit]- Tina: Hi, and welcome back to "So You Wanna Win $5?"
Tony Pajamas
[edit]- Tony's assistant: Tony! It's the Al Dente Brothers!
Prank Call/Mr. Oldman
[edit]Episode 21
[edit]- Mr. Oldman: Hello?
- Prank caller: Hello?
- Mr. Oldman: Hello?
- Prank caller: Hello?
- Mr. Oldman: Hello?
- Prank caller: Hello?
- Mr. Oldman: Hello?
- Prank caller: Goodbye! <hangs up phone>
- Mr. Oldman: That was so pointless!
Well, That's Our Show. I Gotta Go...See Ya!
[edit]- ...home and take a shower.
- ...home and rearrange my dog!
- ...sniff a peanut.
- ...stir-fry a bikini.
- ...dissect a puppet.
- ...sweep an elephant. <This was actually spoken by the winner of an Amanda look-alike contest.>
- ...get my grandmother out of jail.
- ...take these girls out to dinner. You want to say it? <Amanda talking to the winner of a look-alike contest, whose prize is to say the closing line. Amanda then whispers it to her.>
- ...drain my sinuses.
- ...digest an elephant.
- ...apprehend this criminal! <after a robber stole camera 2>
- ...reupholster my father!
- ...alphabetise my sisters!
- ...massage a doughnut! <this was the final episode>
- ...yank my molars!
- ...overthrow Canada!
- ...scuba-dive with a wiener dog!
- ...body slam my grandmother!
- ...hypnotise a social worker!
- ...teach this guy how to do brain surgery!
- ...take a cruise to Hawaii! <referring to musical guest Vitamin C.>
- ...butter my elbows.
- ...swallow some awful clams.
- ...give my parents their allowance.
- ...rotate my tyres.
- ...travel intergalacticly.
- ...feed my monkeys!
- ...on a date with LFO and Dancing Lobsters! <referring to musical guest LFO>
- ...get home before my parents do!
- ...burp this baby.
- ...digest a coconut.
Commercials
[edit]Little Crazy Hat Man
[edit]- Little Crazy Hat Man: "Hey, don't look at her hairy mole, look at me."
Why Not Sumo?
[edit]- Crazy Sumo: "Yummy, yummy, yummy, stick a straw in my tummy!"
Allowance Doubler
[edit]- Announcer: The Allowance Doubler! It will make you rich, which will make you popular, which will make you happy!
LunchBay.com
[edit]- Announcer: LunchBay.com, the convenient way to sell your disgusting lunch items.
- Kids: And make money!
Meatloaf Crunch
[edit]- Meat Loaf: Whoop-dee-dee; have a bowl of me!
