Mating Season
Appearance
Mating Season is an American adult animated romantic comedy created by Nick Kroll, Andrew Goldberg, Mark Levin, and Jennifer Flackett, the co-creators who created Big Mouth. The show was released on Netflix in May 22, 2026.
| This TV article is a stub. You can help out with Wikiquote by expanding it! |
Season 1
[edit]The Copulatory Tie [1.01]
[edit]- Josh: Ray, have you seen Olivia?
- Ray: Right! Yeah, Olivia. [laughs nervously]
- Josh: What? What's wrong?
- Ray: You know you overslept by, like, two weeks, right?
- Josh: I did?
- Ray: Yeah, and Olivia… she gone.
- Josh: She gone? She gone where?
- Ray: She's with this new bear, this big motherfucker named Carson.
- Josh: What?! How could she leave me? It's mating season!
- Ray: Yeah, I know. Everyone's coupling up big time.
- [Zoom out, showing all the male and female forest animals copulating together]
- Rabbit: I'm gonna put 10 to 15 babies in you!
- Squirrel: Now, I'm not sure how we're gonna make this work physically, but goddamn it, Keith, I love you.
- Keith: Well, maybe love is enough.
- Josh: Oh, God! I'm all alone! [starts to sob]
- [While all the animals are attending at the funeral of Fawn's mother, Sheila…]
- Penelope: [to Josh; quietly] By the way, I'm so sorry about Olivia.
- Josh: [whispering] Am I the only one who didn't know?
- Penelope: You really overslept!
- Josh: I'm aware!
- Penelope: You should have woken up earlier, dude!
- Josh: [sarcastically] Oh, thank you, Penelope.
- Ray: How's Fawn doing?
- Penelope: How do you think? Her mother was killed by a frickin' hunter! She's like Bambi.
- Ray: Uh, well, Bambi was a child.
- Josh: And he witnessed the murder.
- Ray: That's serious trauma.
- Josh: Yeah, and it clearly affected him as an adult.
- Penelope: Well, yeah, Bambi was for sure damaged.
- Ray: That said, what he did to those squirrels was inexcusable.
- Josh: Of course.
- Ray: I mean, fully molested those squirrels.
- Penelope: He fully did.
- Ray: But then I'm like those parents should have never let those little squirrel kids stay at his ranch.
- Penelope: Ugh! Don't even get me started on those parents.
- Josh: Oh, God! Is that why Olivia left me?
- Penelope: Of course not.
- Fawn: Almost certainly. I mean, you guys do suck.
- Ray: Excuse you!
- Fawn: [referring to Josh] He's a whimpering mess, [then to Ray] and you have some major mommy issues.
- Ray: What are you talking about? I have the best and prettiest mommy in the world!
- Fawn: She tried to eat you.
- Ray: That's what raccoons do!
- Penelope: Eh, still.
- Ray: Hey, my mother is a saint! She brought me into this world, and she has every right to take me out of it!
- Penelope: Okay!
- [Later that night… at The Watering Hole bar]
- Fawn: [proposing a toast] To my father and Cassie, may they both get rabies.
- Ray: Hey, I know you're hurting right now, Fawn, but that's not so funny. I've actually lost a lot of friends to rabies.
- Penelope: Oh, no. I'm sorry.
- Ray: Yeah. Rabies is our AIDS. Also, feline AIDS is our AIDS.
- Ray: Oh, you gonna spray me?
- Samantha: You like that, you little freak?
- Ray: Yeah, express your anal glands all over my goddamn pelt! [Samantha moans as she sprays on him] Oh, shit!
- Samantha: You dirty bitch.
- Ray: I fucking stink!
- Samantha: Get in me, Ray! Get in me!
- Ray: So, uh, how's it going with the, uh, geezers?
- Fawn: Ugh, terrible. How's Carson doing?
- Olivia: What do you think?! Josh bit off his penis! He's doing bad!
- Penelope: I love our friend group.
The Dating Sites [1.02]
[edit]- Josh: Ugh. Yep, I can see it.
- Penelope: What?
- Josh: Hibernation's gonna be here again. And I'll have to sleep all by myself, spooning a rock.
- Ray: Buddy, Joshie, you know what you gotta do?
- Josh: Meet a rock?
- Ray: No! You gotta get back on the horse!
- Josh: Mmm! You know, I've always wanted to date a horse.
- Ray: No, dumb-dumb, I meant you gotta get back to dating, pronto.
- Josh: But how would I even meet somebody? It seems impossible.
- Penelope: Oh, yeah, it is.
- Fawn: It's a nightmare.
- Josh: Ugh.
- Fawn: The dating sites, they're a shitshow filled with the detritus of society.
- Ray: I thought it was "de-tritus."
- Geoffrey: Fun fact, it can actually be pronounced either way.
- Ray: Not this fucking owl again. [shoves him aside]
- Fawn: Yeah, you're not a part of the group.
- Geoffrey: [dances on the table] Sure I am!
- Ray: Oh, my God, get lost!
- Penelope: Yeah, we are not friends!
- Geoffrey: We will be! [flies away]
- Fawn: Jesus!
- Ray: This fucking guy!
- Penelope: [angrily] You… Ugh. You can all eat my juicy asshole! Except for you, Fawn! No butt for you! [storms off]
- Fawn: I don't even want butt!
- Macey: You sold my underwear?
- Ray: I very much did, yes, but you can take any pair you want from this box…
- Macey: Ew!
- Ray: I'll even throw in this rusty thermos.
- Macey: Oh, my God! You have a whole box of used underpants?!
- Ray: Oh, no. No, no, no. Macey, these are my treasured memories.
- Macey: That you sold to some pervert?
- Ray: Dave's not a pervert. He's a creep.
- Macey: He poured soup into your underwear. Ew! Oh, my God!
- Ray: Does that make you feel any better?
- Macey: Ugh, no! I thought you were cute and fun.
- Ray: I am cute and fun.
- Macey: You're sad and disgusting, Ray! And on behalf of all the females in the forest, I am taking these! [angrily takes the box out of his hands and heads to the front door]
- Ray: What? No! Not my treasured stink box!
- Macey: Ugh! You do not get to sell any more panties, you repulsive trash panda!
- Ray: Okay, that is a slur, and it's hurtful. But just to be clear, so… so we're not having sex again?
- Macey: Yes.
- Ray: Yes, we are?
- Macey: No!
- Ray: No, we are?
- Macey: No, we're not having sex!
- Ray: Why not?!
- Macey: Because… YOU'RE CREEPY RAY! Ugh!
The Lull [1.03]
[edit]- Fawn: [walking along with Zeke] Okay, fine. I guess I'd fuck Alvin, marry Simon, and kill Theodore?
- Zeke: You'd kill Theodore? He's the cutest one.
- Fawn: One of those chipmunks has to die. Those are the rules.
- Celeste: I need you to focus on what your heart desires most.
- Penelope: Uh, I feel like I should want to reverse climate change?
- Celeste: Boo, boring. Also, too late.
- Penelope: Oh, bummer. Okay, well... [sighs] Maybe my heart desires love?
- Celeste: A little cliché, but we'll go with "love."
- Ray: [entering the bathroom] Oh, you're doing great, buddy! Everybody's talking about it! Just gotta give you your special vitamin, make you a big boy. Although, if I was a stud on one pill, what would happen if I took all the pills? Ooh, I'd be a freakin' sex god! [laughs manically]
- Josh: Oh, no! Did somebody steal your bоnеr pills, you stupid old bitch?
- Robert: I'm gonna kill him!
- Josh: Oh, shit! Him is me!
- Robert: You freeloading bastard, where are they?!
- Josh: What? I... I have no idea what you're talking about.
- Robert: I know you stole my hоrny goat weed!
- Josh: I don't even know what that is. Is that for like OMSD?
- Robert: What the hell is OMSD?
- Josh: I think it stands for, um, [trying not to laugh] "old man soft dіck"?
The Truth About Canada [1.04]
[edit]- Penelope: Shut the door! I don't want them to see me like this.
- Fawn: Oh, God, what's going on?
- Penelope: I'm burrowing, okay?! Foxes do this when we're upset!
- Fawn: What are you so upset about?
- Penelope: I'm not upset! Fuck you! And NOTHING HAPPENED IN CANADA!
- [Penelope's family house; Her family is having dinner while Bethany explains about the hounds chasing her and Penelope]
- Bethany: And then the hounds chased Pen into the woods. I thought they were gonna rip her tit to taint!
- Penelope's Father: This is exactly why you're not supposed to go near that farm!
- Penelope: Dad, she's being dramatic, okay?
- Penelope's Father: Hounds are vicious, vile animals!
- Penelope's Mother: They won't stop until we're all dead and stuffed with sawdust.
- Penelope's Father: With glass eyeballs!
- Penelope: Guys! We're fine!
- Penelope's Mother: What if you ended up like Judy O'Doherty's son?
- Penelope's Father: Torn to pieces!
- Penleope: What?
- Penelope's Mother: They found his head in the woods and his rump in the river, Penelope. He was gonna be an optometrist!
- Penelope: Is that a good job? Or…
- Penelope's Mother: [sternly] You listen to me, young lady. This is not a game. You are not to go near that farm ever again. Understand?
- Penelope: Yes, I understand.
- Bethany: [catching Penelope sneaking off, after hearing about her hanging out with Summer] Where do you think you're going?
- Penelope: Jesus! Bethany, you scared the scat out of me.
- Bethany: I know you've been sneaking around with that hound.
- Penelope: [gasps in shock] I have no idea what you're talking about.
- Bethany: Don't play dumb! I saw you have, like, 11 orgasms. You got finger blasted in a river…
- Penelope: Would you shut up, you little creep?! [trying to keep her quiet]
- Bethany: [yelps] Mom! Dad!
- Penelope's Father: Whoa! Whoa! What's going on?
- Bethany: Penelope's been sneaking off and hooking up with a hound!
- Penelope's Father: What?!
- Penelope's Mother: Is this true?
- Penelope: Yes, it's true! We're in love!
- Penelope's Mother: That's ridiculous!
- Penelope's Father: Penelope, you are a fox. She is a hound!
- Penelope: We're in a cave! This is a rock. Who cares?
- Penelope's Father: Oh, my God! The whole filthy pack must have our scent by now!
- Penelope's Mother: We need to leave immediately!
- Penelope: What?
- Penelope's Father: If we stay, they'll track us, kill us in our sleep, tear open our insides and use our intestines as scarves!
- Penelope: Dad, you've got to stop watching Fox News!
- Penelope's Mother: Both of you, pack up your things. We leave a daybreak.
- Penelope: [throws down her suitcase] NO! You don't even know Summer! She would never hurt us!
- Penelope's Mother: I know she ain't nothing but a hound dog.
- Penelope's Father: And she is not a friend of ours!
- Penelope: [breaking down on the verge of tears] YOU GUYS ARE RUINING MY LIFE! [runs out of the window, heading towards the farm]
- Fawn: [sarcastically annoyed when she sees the living room still in a mess that Dylan didn't clean up after the full moon party] Good. You didn't clean up.
- Dylan: [waking up on the couch; also annoyed] Good morning to you too. Can we talk about you kicking my pack out last night, or do you need to stomp off again like a Clydesdale?
- Fawn: Oh, we doing insults? You smell like fucking shit, buddy.
- Dylan: Very mature.
- Fawn: And you were the asshole last night.
The Hot Mess [1.05]
[edit]- Ray: You know what, Josh?
- Josh: What?
- Ray: [outraged] I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!
- Gina: Hi ya, boys.
- Ray: Va-va-voom!
- Josh: Did you just "va-va-voom" your own mom?
- Ray: Yeah!
- Gina: Mom? Ew! Call me Gina.
- Ray: You know, try to yuck my yum with Gina.
- Josh: I'm not trying to yuck your yum, I'm trying to protect you.
- Ray: Well, who asked you? I never see my mom! Let me enjoy it!
- Josh: Look, Ray, I really didn't want to have to tell you this, but… Your mom, she tried to seduce me.
- Ray: You fuck my mom?
- Josh: What? No, of course not!
- Ray: Oh! So what are you saying? You too good to fuck my mom?!
- Josh: What is wrong with you? Ow!
- Ray: You should be so lucky, friend! The things she could teach you!
- Josh: Yeah, like how incredible penicillin is?
- Ray: Yeah!
- Josh: Oh, my God! Ray, she is a bad mom!
- Ray: Well, you are a bad friend!
- Josh: Oh! Well, you're a… fool!
- Ray: Oh, really?! Well, then you're not invited to my birthday party!
- Josh: Good, I don't want to go to a fool's birthday party!
- Ray: Good, because I don't want you there!
- Josh: Well, good luck planning this event without me, because the caterer is an absolute nightmare to deal with!
The Horse Who Loved Me [1.06]
[edit]- Ray: God, why is junk so expensive these days?
- Josh: Ugh, we've been shopping all morning. Can we please just go home?
- Ray: No, I gotta fill up my place again. Ever since my mom took all my stuff, I feel like such a loser.
- Josh: Okay, well, with all due respect, I am a way bigger loser than you are.
- Ray: What? No!
- Josh: I have no money and no prospects. I'm already a burden to my parents. And I'm frightened.
- Ray: Huh! I think you are a bigger loser than I am.
- [Watering Hole bar; A heartbroken Zeke tells Ray, Fawn and Penelope about Carlos breaking up with him]
- Ray: I'm sorry. Help me out, Zeke. Who… Who's Carlos? I barely know who you are.
- Fawn: Carlos is the moose who helped him figure out he's gay. Okay, so, Zeke, what exactly did he say?
- Zeke: [sobs] He said…
- [Flashback]
- Carlos: I don't want to be your boyfriend.
- Zeke: [weeping] But I love you!
- Carlos: No, you don't. Name one thing you love about me.
- Zeke: That you're… That you're gay?
- [Back to the present]
- Penelope: Oh, God, Zeke.
- Zeke: But he is!
- Fawn: Okay, what happened next?
- Zeke: He said…
- [Flashback resumes]
- Carlos: You're a baby gay, and I'm not looking to change diapers.
- Zeke: What does that even mean?
- Carlos: It means that you're fresh out of the closet. You should be going fuck crazy. Get out there! Get laid!
- Zeke: [weeping emotionally] But you just said I'm a baby! That's wrong!
- [Back to the present again]
- Ray: Zeke, you foolish moose. [slaps him in the face three times] This… Is… A… Gift!
- Zeke: Please stop hitting me.
- Fawn: I mean, Ray does have a point. You've only slept with one guy.
- Ray: Exactly. You gotta get out there and put your thing in their thing. And then, if you're down, they'll put their thing in your thing. And then, I don't know, you guys all go to the gym?
- Zeke: So you want me to just go out there and have a bunch of random bad sex?
- Ray: Yeah!
- Fawn: Even the bad sex is educational. It teaches you what good sex is.
- Zeke: This place is insane.
- Fawn: The smell is interesting.
- Penelope: Like shit, but not quite?
- Fawn: It's shit-adjacent.
- Penelope: I like it.
- Cody: Sweetie, you like pussy, and this is a gay bar!
- Penelope: But aren't we all part of one queer community built on acceptance and harmony?
- Cody: Ew, shut up. You have your space. We have ours. Now go back to the Beaver Dam and sip on some natural wine.
- Penelope: What?
- Fawn: [whispering softly] Actually, that does sound nice.
- Penelope: No! No, this is so fucked up! You can't just kick us out of here!
- Cody: [scoffs] Typical cranky lesbian.
- Penelope: The fuck you just say to me?! [attempts to pulverize him while Fawn tries to hold her back] I'm usually so fucking cheerful! YOU'RE THE ONE THAT MADE ME CRANKY!
- Fawn: Pen, it's not worth it.
- Penelope: Oh, this isn't over! You hear me?!
- Cody: Whatever.
- Penelope: And good luck when you need help building a deck, you piece of shit!
The Polycule [1.07]
[edit]- Fawn: Call me "old-fashioned," or "trad," or "skinny," but when I'm with a guy, I want him all to myself.
- Penelope: Okay, sure. But honestly, no one's lining up for to do monogamy with me.
- Fawn: Come on, Pen.
- Penelope: No, no, it's okay. Maybe I'm not meant to be somebody's everything. But I'm sure I could be somebody's something.
- Gus: Mmm, cuddle puddle. This is what it's all about. Warmth and closeness without penetration.
- Josh: Hey, Gus, I hope this isn't too forward, but I'd like to make you tiny little clothes.
- Gus: Ooh, and I would wear them!
- Ray: Ugh. Cuddling without sеx?
- Josh: Just try to enjoy it. Here, stroke this tail.
- Ray: That's my tail! Ugh! This is not what I came here for!
- Gus: Ray, I admire how you always speak your mind.
- Ray: [flipping him off; annoyed] Eat shit, Gus.
- Gus: Oh! Just like that.
- Ray: Hey, whoa, whoa. What am I even signing?
- Gus: It's an incident report.
- Josh: Because you broke the rules.
- Ray: Oh, grow up.
- Nina: And if it happens again, we'll be forced to ask you to leave.
- Gus: We'd hate to do that.
- Ray: Shut up, Gus. Your beret looks stupid.
- [Gus gasps in heartbreak shock]
- Josh: Ray! [grabs him and drags him outside] What the hell is wrong with you?! I made him that beret! That's one of the best berets I've ever made!
- Ray: This place is bullshit! A polycule is supposed to be about freeing ourselves from the rules of monogamy.
- Josh: No--
- Ray: But now, there's just new other rules.
- Josh: The rules protect us! Without them, it's anarchy!
- Ray: That's exactly what I want! Sexual chaos with like-minded freaks. I'm tired of the tyranny.
- Josh: Ray, you are so selfish!
- Ray: Josh, I created a sexual paradise for myself to enjoy. How is that selfish?
- Josh: Did you ever stop to think that this place made me feel valued and loved for the first time in, like, forever?
- Ray: Um… No?
- Josh: Yeah! Because you didn't care about my feelings! You didn't care about anybody's feelings!
The Passion of Raynal Skidski [1.08]
[edit]- Gregg: Hey, buddy, are you having sexual problems?
- Ray: [losing control of his temper] YOU SHUT YOUR GODDAMN BEAK! [starts strangling him by the neck]
The All-Nighter [1.09]
[edit]- Ray: [mocking Penelope] "Oh, I'm Penelope. I want Ray to feel his feelings. Boo-hoo."
- Penelope: Bad impression. Stop that.
- Ray: No! I'm not gonna stop, because I'm mad and you should be too!
- Penelope: I am mad! At you!
- Ray: Me?! You should be mad at Summer! That stupid mutt left you to drown like a pile of trash!
- Penelope: What?! No, that is not what happened!
- Ray: If that bitch…
- Penelope: Do not call her--
- Ray: …actually gave a shit about you, she'd be here right now!
- Penelope: Shut up, Ray!
- Ray: But she's not. Because she's probably up in Canada, sixty-nining a fucking wolverine--
- Penelope: [fully enraged] SHUT UP! [violently punches him in the face, knocking him out unconscious]
The Wolf Wedding [1.10]
[edit]- Penelope: [looking at Jojo's drawing of her] Wow! This is what I look like to you?
- Jojo: Well, I did have to tone it down a little. I mean, there are children around.
- David: [gazing at the drawing] Whoa! I think my nuts just dropped.
- David's Mom: David! Don't look at that filth! [sensually] That's for mommy's eyes only.
- Penelope: [meeting up with Ray on the beach] Why are you up so early?
- Ray: I couldn't sleep. I'm too horny. I gotta get laid soon or I'm gonna choke on my backed up jizz. What are you doing up?
- Penelope: I had sex with Jojo all night on the beach.
- Ray: Oh!
- Penelope: I feel terrible.
- Ray: Ah, you got sand in the pipes, huh?
- Penelope: What?
- Ray: Okay, what you want to do, and this is gonna sound counterintuitive--
- Penelope: Ray.
- Ray: But you need to put more sand in.
- Penelope: Ugh! My pipes are fine.
- Ray: So then what's the problem?
- Penelope: I caught feelings! Bad!
- Ray: Oh!
- Penelope: I haven't felt like this since I was with Summer.
- Ray: So you like her! That's a good thing!
- Penelope: I can't even look at her without thinking about how sad I'll be when I go home.
- Ray: Oh, come on! Whatever happened to having a fling? You know, taking a page out of my slutty little book.
- Penelope: Ray, I gotta be honest. I only skimmed your book.
- Ray: What? But your notes, they were so insightful and specific!
- Penelope: I know!
- Ray: I did a page one rewrite.
- Penelope: How'd Cynthia take it?
- Fawn: [sighs] I couldn't do it. She looked too happy.
- Penelope: But she deserves to know the truth!
- Fawn: Pen, just stop. Maybe last night was a one-time thing, and it's out of his system. Lots of guys have a last fling, right?
- Ray: Yes! Everybody fucks a deer the night before their wedding. My uncle rimmed an entire herd.
- Fawn: Does anyone else but Ray have a take?
- Gus: Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today to witness the union of Cynthia Mulroney and Dylan McDermott.
- Josh: Whoa.
- Penelope: Some names.
- Gus: The bride and groom have elected to write their own vows. [gives Dylan the microphone] Dylan, knock my socks off.
- Dylan: [clears throat] Cynthia, when I close my eyes… I think of you.
- Fawn: Huh?
- Dylan: When I wake up in the morning, I think of you.
- Fawn: You've gotta be kidding me.
- Dylan: The way you laugh, the way you talk, the way you look at me before we kiss.
- Fawn: [incredulously] This asshole's got one fucking move.
- Gus: Oh, wow. My shoes are gonna stink, because my socks are all the way off. Cynthia.
- Cynthia: [as Dylan passes the microphone to her; laughs softly] Dylan, meeting you has changed my life. I know that I may seem confident and self-assured, but inside, I… never really felt like I deserved love.
- Fawn: Ouch.
- Cynthia: It wasn't until I met you that I truly learned to like myself.
- Fawn: Oh, Cynthia…
- Cynthia: Because if you love me, then I guess I must be good.
- [Fawn exhales deeply]
- Gus: Now, if anyone here knows of any reason why these two cuties shouldn't be married, please speak now or forever hold your peace… [echoes]
- Fawn: [as Josh and Penelope's words float around in her head; then gives in] God damn it. [standing up] I do! I know a reason!
- Gus: Ooh! Speak now.
- Cynthia: Fawn?
- Dylan: [softly] What are you doing?
- Fawn: [sighs softly] Cynthia… I know how it feels to think you don't deserve love.
- Wedding Goose Guest: We can't hear you in the back, honey! Speak up!
- Fawn: [loudly] I know what it's like to think you don't deserve love!
- Wedding Guest: Whoa, we're not deaf!
- Fawn: Ugh. [in normal tone] That you're only special if a guy makes you feel special. But you're amazing.
- Cynthia: [awkwardly] Okay…
- Fawn: And you don't have to hinge your self-worth on anyone else, much less Dylan, because… Dylan and I--
- Wedding Goat Guest: Dylan and I slept together last week!
- Wedding Beaver Guest: What?! He fucked me three days ago!
- Cynthia: Are you kidding me?
- Meghan: Um, excuse me. He also slept with me yesterday.
- Lexi: Meghan!
- Ray: God, I picked the wrong beaver.
- Gus: Full disclosure, I did suck him off before the precession, but only to help him relax.
- Dylan: Well, it did help.
- Fawn: This is a nightmare.
- Cynthia: [throws her bouquet of flowers at Dylan in the chest; disgusted] Dylan, what the fuck?!
- Dylan: Babe, I'm so sorry! I thought I could be tame, but I'm a wild animal! [rips off his uniform]
- Ray: Thank you! Someone finally said it! We're all wild animals! Why are any of us getting married? Why are we staying at a hotel?! Why are we wearing clothes?!
- Penelope: [as she and Josh try to calm him down] Not the time!
- Josh: Uh-uh.
- Cynthia: Hey, Uncle Doug, you still got that medieval sword?
- Uncle Doug: [wields out his medieval sword from his scabbard] FOR NARNIA!
- [Cynthia watches in satisfaction as her family chase after Dylan into the sunset]
Cast
[edit]- Zach Woods – Josh
- Nick Kroll – Ray "Raynal" Skidski
- June Diane Raphael – Fawn
- Sabrina Jalees – Penelope
- Timothy Olyphant – Dylan McDerrmott
- Abbi Jacobson – Summer
- Jack McBrayer – Geoffrey
- Annaleigh Ashford – Addy
- Ana Gasteyer – Ellen
- Clancy Brown – Robert
- Pamela Segall Adlon – Gina
- Drew Tarver – Zeke
- Toks Olagundoye – Claudia
- Natalie Morales – Cynthia
- Nicole Byer – Jojo