Arnold Glasow

Arnold H. Glasow (1905-1997) was a comedian.

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Glasow's Gloombusters (1995)

ISBN 978-0-964-67780-7

Attributed

• A consultant is someone who saves his client almost enough to pay his fee.
• A good father lives so he is a credit to his children.
• A good leader takes a little more than his share of the blame, a little less than his share of the credit.
• A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they're not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they're not so bad.
• A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.
• Beware of those who laugh at nothing or at everything.
• Expecting something for nothing is the most popular form of hope.
• Fear is the lengthened shadow of ignorance.
• Happy is the person who knows what to remember of the past, what to enjoy in the present, and what to plan for in the future.
• Ideas not coupled with action never become bigger than the brain cells they occupied.
• Improvement begins with I.
• In life, as in football, you won't go far unless you know where the goalposts are.
• It is harder to conceal ignorance than to acquire knowledge.
• It's only by the hard blows of adverse fortune that character is tooled.
• Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.
• Live so that your friends can defend you but never have to.
• Make your life a mission, not an intermission.
• Many people who have the gift of gab don't know how to wrap it up.
• No need to fear the ill wind when your haystacks are tied down.
• Nothing lasts forever, not even your troubles.
• One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency.
• Parents can tell but never teach, unless they practice what they preach.
• Praise does wonders for our sense of hearing.
• Success is simple. Do what's right, the right way, at the right time.
• Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.
• Telling a teenager the facts of life is like giving a fish a bath.
• The average vacation is one-tenth playing — nine-tenths paying.
• The best bet is to bet on yourself.
• The best thing you can spend on your kids is time.
• The fewer the facts, the stronger the opinion.
• The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not smashing it.
• The respect of those you respect is worth more than the applause of the multitude.
• The trouble with the future is that it usually arrives before we're ready for it.
• What the country needs are a few labor-making inventions.