Peanuts

see also Charles M. Schultz.

Peanuts was a comic strip drawn by Charles M. Schulz from 1950-2000, and was also developed into several TV animated specials and four TV animated movies.

Everyone says it...

• Good grief!

• I can't stand it...

• You blockhead(s)!

• (usually to Charlie Brown): That's the way it goes.

Charlie Brown

• Rats!

• My stomach hurts.

• How can we lose when we're so sincere?

• Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.

• That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another...

• My anxieties have anxieties.

• Other kids' baseball heroes hit home runs. Mine gets sent down to the minors.

• Life is like an ice cream cone...you have to learn to lick it.

• on being made a school crossing guard: When I got called to the office, I was a nobody...now, I'm a man with a badge!

Sally Brown

• to Linus: My Sweet Babboo!

• to Charlie Brown every time Marcie visits: Kiss her, you blockhead!

• why she wants to be a nurse: I like white shoes.

• Happiness is having your own library card.

• I'm taking the advice of Theodore Roosevelt...speak softly and carry a beagle!

Snoopy

Curse you, Red Baron! Snoopy's dog house famously doubled as a Sopwith Camel in his fantastic fights against the Red Baron

• It was a dark and stormy night...

The opening line of the novel Snoopy is forever starting. A well-known quotation from Edward Bulwer-Lytton.

• Here's the world-famous...

• My mind reels with sarcastic replies.

• Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. *sigh!* There's so little hope for advancement.

• I have the world's largest collection of anti-cat jokes!

• after his Beagle Scouts get into a bar brawl: ...that's when Harriet hit the blue jay in the face with an angel food cake!

• Well that's one way of doing it - he removed me from the splinter!

• Just what I needed - a fight with a fifty-pound cat over an old yellow glove!

• on the Stupid Cat Next Door: That stupid "kitten" weighs three hundred pounds!

• on Marbles: He wasn't very witty, but he was smart.

• arm-wrestling Lucy: Succumb, you dark-haired fiend!

• on Molly Volley: I've had distemper, and I've played mixed doubles...I'd rather have distemper.

• as World-Famous Attorney: That's why you go to law school - so you know what the judge is calling you!

• Here's Joe Cool hanging around the student union eyeing chicks. Lucy storms past. Actually, we Joe Cools are scared to death of chicks...

as the World War I Flying Ace:

• Curses, foiled again!

• Curse you, Red Baron!

• a football flies past: Good grief - a zeppelin!! it hits him on the head: It was a cowardly attack, sir. A thousand men in a zeppelin hit me from behind!

Linus van Pelt

• Thus endeth....

• to Sally: I'm not your Sweet Babboo!

• There is no problem so big that it can't be run away from.

• I love mankind - it's people I can't stand!

• I know there is a lesson to be learned here somewhere, but I don't know what it is.

• There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people...religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin.

• In all this world, there is no heavier burden than a great potential!

• on failing a test: I falsed when I should have trued.

• on the Stupid Cat Next Door: That's no kitten - that's a thousand-pound gully cat!

• How sharper than a serpent's tooth is a sister's "see?"!

• Do chicken-birds ever build their nests on mountaintops?

• on his blanket-hating grandmother: She no sooner got in the house when she took my blanket away! She gave me a dollar to make up for it, but I'm gonna look awfully silly sucking my thumb and holding a dollar.

• "And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the fields, keeping watch over their flocks by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the lord shone round about them, and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not, for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you this day is born in the City of Bethlehem, a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; you shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel, a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on Earth peace, good will toward men'". That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown. - from A Charlie Brown Christmas

Lucy van Pelt

• It's hard for a critical person to go to sleep if she isn't allowed a brief word of criticism!

• No matter how hard you try, you can't build a rainman.

• I'm opening for a new secretary... anyone care to apply?

• The crabby little girls of today are the crabby old women of tomorrow!

• told Snoopy (as vulture) is on her snowman: ANY VULTURE CAUGHT SITTING ON MY SNOWMAN GETS CLOBBERED!!

• to Schroeder: What happens if you practice the piano for 20 years and then end up not being rich and famous?

• to Schroeder: If you really loved me you'd stop playing that piano and listen to me. Schroeder plays louder. I guess that's called answering without answering...

• when asked if she believes there is life on other planets: Absolutely not! If there were, they most certainly would have tried to contact me!

• It's a scientific fact that girls are smarter than boys! And do you know who discovered it? WOMEN SCIENTISTS!

Rerun van Pelt

• This is my life: riding on the back of Mom's bicycle.

• his mother lost three pounds by bicycling: And through sheer terror I've lost five!

• Every day this big stupid German Shepherd comes running out and chases our bicycle! He doesn't quit until I throw my shoe at him. I'm running out of shoes!

Schroeder

• The joy is in the playing.

• Who painted rally stripes on my piano?!

• sees Lucy and Snoopy brawling: Fighting under the mistletoe? How unfeminine...how unromantic...how gauche!

• Lucy asks how much money pianists make: Who cares about money?! This is ART, you blockhead! This is great music I'm playing, and playing great music is an art! Do you hear me? An art! Art! Art! Art! Art! Art!"

• Lucy asks him what the answer to life is: BEETHOVEN! Beethoven is IT, clear and simple!! Do you understand?

Peppermint Patty

• to Marcie: Stop calling me sir!

• I think all these D-minuses are polluting the atmosphere.

• They can't do something to you if you don't know what it means.

• Watch for you and me on TV, kid...the program is called "bowl a pupil"!

• after a surprisngly enjoyable book assignment: Thank you, ma'am, for forcing us to read it!

• after falling asleep in class: I'm awake! The answer is twelve!

• Marcie, has anyone ever told you that when you're mad, you look just like Billie Jean King?

Marcie

• to Peppermint Patty: You're weird, sir!

• Your optimism should be framed, Charles.

• trying to clean a golf ball: After I peeled the white cover off, I couldn't get the ball back in.

• Do footballs mind being kicked, sir? Do you think it causes them to be traumatized?

Frieda

• People expect more of you when you have naturally curly hair!

• People hate cats. People hate people who own cats. And people especially hate people with naturally curly hair who own cats.

• What's the good of having naturally curly hair if nobody's jealous?

• After Snoopy dresses up in a Sherlock Holmes outfit when she forces him to go rabbit-hunting: Sometimes I think he's laughing at me.

• You're not pitching right, Charlie Brown. Whenever the other team hits the ball to us, and we try to catch it, the ball stings our hands! Try to pitch so that the ball won't sting our hands.

Pig-Pen

• explaining why the teacher doesn't recognise him: The janitor keeps sweeping me out!

• You know what I am? I'm a dust magnet!

• cast as the inkeeper in the Christmas play: Despite my outward appearance, I shall try to keep a neat inn. - from A Charlie Brown Christmas.

Violet

• My Dad can _______ better than your Dad.

• to Patty: You an' I have a lot in common...we both dislike the same things about Charlie Brown! (31-08-53)

• I'll be glad when I can grow up and move out of this neighborhood. I need to see new places, and meet new people. Everyone around here bores me.

• I'm in business...these are ready-mix mud pies! (22 May 53)

Patty

• It's a lot more fun not inviting people than it is inviting them!

• Little girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. (hits Charlie Brown) That's what little girls are made of. (3-10-50)

Shermy

• Well, here comes Charlie Brown. Good old Charlie Brown! Yes sir, Good old Charlie Brown! How I hate him! (2 Oct 50)

• telling Charlie Brown he's quitting the baseball team: I'm the kind who needs to win now and then. With you it's different. I think you get sort of a neurotic pleasure out of losing all the time.

Eudora

• on going to camp: I will if my parents chain me up, put me in a box and throw me on the bus.

• Saturday's the only day I never get anything wrong.

• to teacher: Our family just moved here from out of state. (...) No, ma'am...I don't know which state. I don't even know where I am now!

Spike

• The annual meeting of the Cactus Club will now come to order...

• after Peppermint Patty loses a golf game: Perhaps you'd like to invest in some choice real estate near Needles? My card!

• on selling 'oceanview property' in Needles: I figured coyotes can see a long way.

Dialogues

• Charlie Brown (as mascot for Peppermint Patty's team): Think pelican...be pelican.

Woodstock: |||||?

Charlie Brown: ||||||!

• Sally: I'm drawing a cow, but I'm having problems with the hooveses.

Charlie Brown: Hooves.

Sally: What?

Charlie Brown: Hooves, as in "behooves".

Sally: Bees don't have hooves! Who you tryin' to kid?!

• Snoopy: ...we're the first to ever climb this peak, and then sit here eating angel food cake with seven minute frosting!

Conrad: |||||?

Snoopy: No, Conrad, I don't want your autograph!

• Snoopy: If you get chomped by one of us piranha, baby, you've had it!

Lucy: I hear there's a piranha swimming around in the neighborhood...BY GOLLY, THAT PIRANHA BETTER NOT TRY TO CHOMP ME! ANY PIRANHA TRIES TO CHOMP ME, I'LL POUND HIM!!

Snoopy: There's nobody around here but us beagles! (25/26 Mar 67)

• Linus: Happiness lies in our destiny like a cloudless sky before the storms of tomorrow destroy the dreams of yesterday and last week!

Charlie Brown: I think that blanket is doing something to you!

• Lucy: I figured it out, Charlie Brown. If you stay depressed for two more days, you'll make it into the Book of World Records.

Charlie Brown: WOW! That's great!

Lucy: You just blew it.

• Schroeder: Is your arm hurting you, Charlie Brown?

Charlie Brown:It's killing me, but I've got to keep pitching!...I'd rather have my arm fall off than be called a quitter!

Schroeder: I understand...that's the way Beethoven always used to feel.

Charlie Brown: How does Beethoven always get into these conversations?

• Peppermint Patty: All I ever get are D-minuses!

Marcie: It's like living on a fixed income, sir.

• Marcie: Sir, the world has come to an end! Volcanoes erupted! Icebergs melted! You and I are the only ones left alive!

Peppermint Patty: Then why are there a bunch of kids playing on the playground?

Marcie: Sorry, Sir, I thought the world had ended when I saw that you got an "A" on the test.

• Marcie: If I had tried to stop you, sir, you would have hit me!

Peppermint Patty: You could have ducked!

• Marcie: Have you ever been deprogrammed, sir?...Apparently it's alright to believe in Santa Claus, but not to believe in the "Great Grape".

Peppermint Patty: I think that's "Pumpkin", Marcie.

• Frieda: If I were a dog, I'd be out chasing rabbits on such a nice day.

Snoopy: If it's such a nice day, why spoil it for the rabbits?

• Frieda: Snow! What a beautiful sight...all of nature is asleep under a blanket of snow!

Snoopy: (half-buried on top of his doghouse) That's true!

External links

• The final Peanuts Comic strips
• "Sartre & Peanuts" by Nathan Radke at Philosophy Now Issue 44 (January/February 2004)