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<div>{{italic title}}<br />
'''''[[w:Rio (2011 film)|Rio]]''''' is a 2011 American animated [[w:musical film|musical]] [[w:comedy film|comedy film]] produced by [[w:Blue Sky Studios|Blue Sky Studios]] and directed by [[w:Carlos Saldanha|Carlos Saldanha]]. The title refers to the [[Brazil]]ian city of [[w:Rio de Janeiro|Rio de Janeiro]], where the film is set. The film features features the voices of [[Anne Hathaway]], [[w:Jesse Eisenberg|Jesse Eisenberg]], [[w:will.i.am|Will.i.am]], [[w:Jamie Foxx|Jamie Foxx]], [[w:George Lopez|George Lopez]], [[w:Tracy Morgan|Tracy Morgan]], [[w:Jemaine Clement|Jemaine Clement]], [[w:Leslie Mann|Leslie Mann]], [[w:Rodrigo Santoro|Rodrigo Santoro]] and [[w:Jake T. Austin|Jake T. Austin]]. It tells the story of Blu, a male blue macaw who gets taken back to Rio de Janeiro and mates with a female, a free-spirited macaw, named Jewel. The two eventually fall in love, and together they have to escape from being smuggled by Nigel, a cockatoo. The theme song, '''Telling the World''' was sung by Taio Cruz.<br />
<br />
[[w:20th Century Fox|20th Century Fox]] released the film on March 22, 2011 in Brazil, and on April 15, 2011 in the United States.<br />
{{center|'''Join the party!'''([[taglines]])}}<br />
<br />
== Dialogue ==<br />
:'''Mother Bird''': Hey!<br />
:'''Red Bird''': ''E'a Ilha diz!''<br />
:''["Real in Rio" plays]''<br />
:'''Young Blu''': ''[frightened yelp]''<br />
:''["Whoomp! (There It Is)" by Tag Team playing]''<br />
:'''Bird''': ''[sighs]'' ''[chirping]'' ''[sighs]''<br />
:'''Truck Driver''': ''[screams]''<br />
:'''Bird''': ''[screaming]''<br />
:'''Young Linda''': ''[gasps]'' It's okay. It's okay. Shh. I'll take care of you.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[At Present Day]''<br />
:'''Linda''': ''[groaning]'' Stupid clock. ''[grunting]'' Huh? ''[chuckles]'' Good morning, Blu.<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[water swishing]'' ''[gargling]''<br />
:'''Linda''': ''[apits]''<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[belches]''<br />
:'''Linda''': Ew! Ooh! Come here. Tyler Blu Gunderson! You know these vitamins are good for you. ''[gasps]'' Ooh. What's this?<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[squwaks]''<br />
:'''Linda''': Gotcha. Whoo!<br />
:'''Blu and Linda''': ''[imitate booming explosion]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Linda''': Enjoy the new book.<br />
:'''Bookstore Customer''': Thanks, Linda.<br />
:'''Linda''': Bye, now. Yes, Mom, I'd to visit. But who would take care of Blu? Mom, they don't have kennel's for parrots. Here's your hot chocolate, Blu.<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[quawks]''<br />
:'''Linda''': Just how you like it. Plus, I don't trust leaving Blu with just anyone. No, I don't have a bird-sitter...<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[Linda places his hot chocolate in front of him]'' Ah. This is the life. ''[sniffs]'' The perfect marshmallow-to-cocoa ratio. ''[counting the marshmallows]'' One, two, three, four, five... ''[another marshmallow floats to the surface]'' six. Mmm. ''[takes a sip of his cocoa]''<br />
:'''Alice''': ''[laughter]''<br />
:'''Chloe''': Well, well, if it isn't my favorite nerd bird.<br />
:'''Blu''': Very... very funny. Real mature.<br />
:'''Alice''': Hey, pet! Where you migrating to this year, huh? The breakfast nook?<br />
:'''Alice and Chloe''': ''[laughing]''<br />
:''[Chloe and Alice laugh and throw another snowball at the window]''<br />
:'''Blu''': Throw all the snowballs you want. I'm protected by this magical force field called glass. It's what keeps us so toasty and warm in here while you guys are out there freezing your...<br />
:'''Alice''': ''[singsongy]'' La, la, la, la, la! ''[laughing]''<br />
:''[looks up and sees Chloe and Alice showing their behinds to him, making fun]''<br />
:'''Blu''': Classy.<br />
:'''Tulio''': ''[gasping]'' Arara! Arara! Arara! Ara... ''[yelling]'' ''[groaning]''<br />
:'''Linda''': Are you all right?<br />
:'''Tulio''': ''[groans]'' ''[shivering]'' I'm not really built for this weather.<br />
:'''Linda''': Oh. Are you looking for some books?<br />
:'''Tulio''': Books? No. ''[chuckling]'' No. I have come 6,000 miles looking for him.<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[confused grunt]''<br />
:'''Linda''': Doctor of ornithology?<br />
:'''Tulio''': Ooh. He's magnificent. ''[imitates birdcalls]''<br />
:'''Blu''': Linda, little help here. Linda?<br />
:'''Tulio and Blu''': ''[squawking]''<br />
:'''Linda''': Wow. You're actually communicating.<br />
:'''Tulio''': Yes. Yes. I introduced myself and shook my tail feathers counter-clockwise, thus deffering to his dominance.<br />
:'''Blu''': I did not get that at all.<br />
:'''Linda''': So, Dr. Monteiro, you...<br />
:'''Tulio''': ''[chuckling]'' Oh, no "Doctor," please. Just call me Tulio. You know, your macaw is a very special bird. In fact, as far as we know, Blu is the last male of his kind.<br />
:'''Linda''': Really?<br />
:'''Tulio''': Yes. And recently, we found a female, and our hope is to bring the two of them together to save their species.<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[gulps]''<br />
:'''Linda''': Oh. Well, yeah, sure. When can she come over?<br />
:'''Tulio''': Oh, no, no, no. She is in Brazil. Blu must come to Rio de Janeiro.<br />
:'''Linda''': ''[laughs]'' Rio? Brazil?<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[squawks]''<br />
:'''Linda: '''Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I never let Blu out of my sight. He needs me.<br />
:'''Tulio''': Oh, no. You... you misunderstood. It's all arranged. You will be with him every stop of the way. And I will be with you.<br />
:'''Linda''': Um, look, I know you're doing your job, but I can't... Well, Blu is very particular, and we have our little routine here, and we're not big on travel. Heck, he doesn't fly.<br />
:'''Tulio''': But, of course he can fly. ''[takes Blu and inspects him]'' He's a perfect specimen.<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[squawking]''<br />
:'''Linda''': Uh, what are you doing?<br />
:'''Tulio''': Don't worry. Their natural instincts always take over.<br />
:''[He lets Blu go so that he will fly, but falls due to not having enough endurance]''<br />
:'''Linda''': Wait! Wait, wait! No! No!<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[squawking]''<br />
:'''Tulio''': Well, almost always.<br />
:'''Linda''': Blu!<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[grunts]'' What kind of doctor are you?<br />
:'''Linda''': Are you okay?<br />
:'''Tulio''': Perhaps he's too domesticated.<br />
:'''Linda''': It was very nice of you to stop in and squawk around and throw my bird, but now it's time for you to go.<br />
:'''Tulio''': Well, I... I'm very sorry. I... I'm very sorry, but... wait, wait. Linda. Linda. ''[Linda walks him out of the shop]'' This could be our last chance.<br />
:'''Linda''': Have a safe flight. ''[sighs]''<br />
:''[she shuts her shop door in his face and walks away]''<br />
:'''Tulio''': Linda, please, listen to me. If we don't do this, his whole species will be gone. ''[He throws his business card through the door post flap]'' Just think about it.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Blu''': "Natural instincts." ''[scoffs]'' There's nothing natural about being thrown halfway across a room. Well, I'll show him. Hmm. ''[reading a book about flying]'' I can do this. I just have to work out the physics. I have quadrated my vector angles. I have adjusted for wind shear. Positive reinforcement. Good. Okay. Let's see. Flaps open.[opens his wings] Perfect. Landing gear. ''[wiggles his claws]'' Check. Tail flaps. ''[flaps his tail]'' Operational. And, actually, not bad. ''[as he prepares to fly for the first time]'' This is it. Let's fly. Just keep it simple. Thrust, lift, drag and weight. Thrust, lift, drag, weight. ''[speeds up to get off the table]'' Thrust, lift, drag, weight. Thrust, lift, drag... W-w-w-wait! ''[gets scared and tries to stop himself, but instead falls from the table]'' ''[screams]'' ''[sighs, screams]'' Ow!<br />
:'''Linda''': Blu? ''[To Blu]'' I promised I would always look out for you, didn't I? And have I ever broken a promise? ''[Blu looks at Linda in worry]'' I'm scared, too, but I wouldn't make you do this if it wasn't the right thing to do. What do you say, Blu?<br />
:'''Linda and Blu''': ''[mitate booming explosion]''<br />
:''[she holds out her hand in a punch, Blu touches his beak and punches his claw to her hand in agreement]''<br />
:'''Linda''': That's my big, brave boy. And we'll be back before we even know it.<br />
:''["Let Me Take You to Rio (Blu's Arrival)" plays]''<br />
:'''Linda''': Your turn, Blu. You don't want to get beak-burn.<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[frightened gasp]''<br />
:'''Linda''': Whoa! What's going on here?<br />
:'''Tulio''': You arrived in time for Carnival.<br />
:'''Linda''': Carnival?<br />
:'''Tulio''': Yes. It's the biggest party in the world. You know, a time to have fun and dance. ''[imitates rhythmic drumming]''<br />
:'''Linda''': ''[laughs]'' Oh, my. Is she a performer?<br />
:'''Tulio''': No. In fact, she's my dentist. Dr. Barbosa!<br />
:'''Dentist Barbosa''': Oy! Don't forget to floss, Tulio. ''[laughs]''<br />
:'''Tulio''': You got it! Come tomorrow night, everyone will be dressed like that.<br />
:'''Linda:''' ''[chuckles]'' Not me.<br />
:'''Nico:''' ♪Oba, la, la, la, ya E, e, ei!♪ ''E ai?'' Tudo bom?<br />
:'''Blu:''' Oh. Um, oh, right. Uh, yeah. Aah! Uh... ''[slowly]'' ''[Nico and Pedro approach Blu]'' I am not from here.<br />
:'''Pedro''': Hey, Nico. He's a tourist.<br />
:'''Nico''': Funny, you don't look like one.<br />
:'''Blu''': Really? I... I don't.<br />
:'''Pedro''': Except you got pigeon doo-doo on your nose.<br />
:''[Blu wipes the sun cream from his beak]''<br />
:'''Blu''': Oh, oh, oh, no, this is just SPF 3,000.<br />
:'''Nico''': So are you here for Carnival?<br />
:'''Blu''': Oh, actually, I'm just here to meet a... a girl.<br />
:'''Nico''': Oh, a girl!<br />
:'''Pedro''': Yes.<br />
:'''Nico''': Little word of advice: you make the first move. Brazilian ladies respond to confidence.<br />
:'''Blu''': Oh, right.<br />
:'''Pedro''': Yeah, it's all about swagger. You got to puff out that chest. Mmm! Swing that tail. ''[makes swishing noise]'' Eyes narrow, like some kind of crazy love hawk. ''[squawks]''<br />
:'''Nico''': But, first, we got to bust you out.<br />
:'''Blu''': What?<br />
:'''Pedro''': Yeah! I'm-a pop that cage open like a soda can.<br />
:''[Pedro tries desperately to break the metal bar on the cage Blu's in]''<br />
:'''Blu''': No, no, no. Whoa! No, no, no, that's okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa!<br />
:'''Pedro''': ''[grunting]'' You call that popping? Whew. This thing's robust.<br />
:'''Blu''': No, no, no. No, guys., really. I'm fine. This cage is great. Love this cage.<br />
:''[Pedro, exhausted, stops pounding the metal bar]''<br />
:'''Pedro''': Ta bom. Suit yourself. Hey, don't forget-- love hawk. ''[squawks]'' ''[he squawks and flies away with Nico]'' Bemvindo!<br />
:'''Blu''': Yes. Yes, bem... ''[stammers]'' And... and to you, as well.<br />
<br />
<hr width+"50%"/><br />
:'''Tulio''': This is the heart and soul of our aviary-- our treatment room. ''[imitates birdcalls]''<br />
:'''Linda''': They really like you. Oh! ''[chuckles]'' A lot.<br />
:'''Tulio''': Yes. I'm their great, big mama bird.<br />
:'''Blu''': Ew.<br />
:'''Linda''': ''[chuckles]'' Wow.<br />
:'''Tulio''': Want some?<br />
:'''Linda''': Ah! Oh, I'm, good.<br />
:'''Tulio''': Many of the birds here were rescued from smugglers.<br />
:'''Linda''': Smugglers?<br />
:'''Tulio''': Yes. And, unfortunately, the poor birds are often hurt or even killed in the process. But with proper care, they can be saved. Look here. This poor guy was found last night.<br />
:'''Nigel''': ''[weak squawking]''<br />
:'''Tulio''': Hey, buddy. You're looking great today. Much better. Much better.<br />
:'''Blu''': Get well soon.<br />
:'''Nigel''': ''[growls]''<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[nervously]'' Oh.<br />
:'''Linda''': ''[in the bird sanctuary]'' So, where's Jewel?<br />
:'''Tulio''': Oh, we have a special place for Jewel. She's a very spirited bird.<br />
:'''Aviary Intern''': ''[groans]'' I'll say.<br />
:''[he turns and his face is covered in scratches and bruises]''<br />
:'''Blu''': She did that? Oh, charming. Okay, I want to go home now. ''[squawking]''<br />
:'''Tulio''': No, no, don't worry. I'm going to make you look irresistible.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Blu''': ''[grunts, pants]'' Help! Help! Let me out of here! ''[gasps]'' Linda!<br />
:'''Linda''': Maybe I should...<br />
:'''Tulio''': No, no. Give it a chance.<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[gulps]'' Hello? Whoa! Hello? ''[gasps]'' Uh... I come in peace. ''[gasps]'' Whoa. ''[as he sets eyes on Jewel for the first time]'' She's beautiful. ''[Blu is mesmerized as she flies towards him]'' What were they talking about? She's... she's like an angel. An angel who's getting really close... Aah! ''[suddenly Jewel crashes into him]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': ''[to Blu, after she has pinned him down in the bird sanctuary]'' Quem é você? Quê que você está fazendo aqui?<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[gagging, indistinct babbling]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': ''[Blu tries to speak as Jewel is standing on him with one clawed talon holding his throat]'' Quê?<br />
:'''Blu''': You're standing on my throat.<br />
:''[she gets off him]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': Oh, you're an American.<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[clears throat]'' Thanks. I need my throat for talking, so thank you.<br />
:'''Jewel''': You look like me.<br />
:'''Blu''': Oh. Uh, hi. ''[clears throat]'' Hi. My name is Blu. You know, like the cheese. With the mold on it. You know, that smells really bad. ''[to himself as he realizes what he's just said]'' That's stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.<br />
:'''Jewel''': All right, come on. We don't have much time.<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[chuckles nervously]'' Whoa! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. ''[groans]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': Are you ready?<br />
:'''Blu''': For what? ''[he suddenly thinks she's referring to them mating]'' Oh, oh, wow. Uh, okay. ''[to himself]'' Confidence. ''[inhales]'' Crazy love hawk.<br />
:'''Jewel''': All right.<br />
:''[Blu tries to kiss Jewel]''<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[smooching]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': Whoa. Hey. ''[She pushes him away]'' What are you doing?<br />
:'''Blu''': What? What... what you wanted me to. But, just for argument's sake, uh, what are... what are you doing?<br />
:'''Jewel''': I'm trying to escape.<br />
:''[She points to the air conditioning vent]''<br />
:'''Blu''': Oh. Uh, yeah, escape. That-that's where I was going with that thing I just did.<br />
:'''Jewel''': Wait. W-w-w-wait. Did you actually think we were going to kiss?<br />
:'''Blu''': No. No-no-no-no. It's not what you think.<br />
:'''Jewel''': We just met! ''[squawking]''<br />
:'''Linda''': Oh, my.<br />
:'''Tulio''': I think they need a little help.<br />
:'''Blu''': I mean, I know how my feathers look, but I'm not that kind of bird. ''[just then a disco ball comes down, the lights are dimmed and Lionel Richie's 'Say you, Say me' starts playing]''<br />
:''["Say You Say Me" plays]''<br />
:'''Blu''': Okay, I had nothing to do with that. But, huh, you have to admit it's actually a pretty good song. ''[Jewel gives him a look as he starts singing to the music]'' Yeah, sing it, Lionel. ''[screams and yells]'' ''[grunting]''<br />
:''[Jewel suddenly jumps onto him]''<br />
:'''Linda''': ''[Linda watches on the monitor as Blu and Jewel struggle, thinking they're mating]'' Wow. That was fast.<br />
:'''Tulio''': Lionel Richie, works every time. We should probably give them privacy.<br />
:'''Linda''': I'm not sure I should leave Blu here alone.<br />
:'''Tulio''': Oh, no, no, no. Don't worry. Sylvio will keep an eye on them all night. Besides, he's got Jewel.<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[screaming and grunting]'' Help me! ''[grunts]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Man (on radio)''': Boa noite, Rio! This is the final countdown to Carnaval! Let's samba.<br />
:'''Sylvio''': ''[hums]'' Whoo! ''[humans]'' Ah! ''[humming]'' Huh?<br />
:'''Nigel''': ''[pained chirping]''<br />
:'''Sylvio''': Aw. Come here, poor little birdie. Aw, It's okay. I got you. I got you. ''[muffled shouting]''<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[groans]'' Excuse me. Please. I am trying to sleep.<br />
:'''Jewel''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh, I'm sorry, sleepyhead. I'm trying to escape. ''[grunting]''<br />
:'''Blu''': Escape? Why? The cage is awesome.<br />
:'''Jewel''': The cage... ''[laughs]'' Oh, what was I thinking? I wouldn't expect a pet to understand.<br />
:'''Blu''': Pet? Did you just call me a pet? For the record, I am not a pet. I am a companion. And you know what? Do whatever you want, 'cause tomorrow morning, Linda will come for me and this whole nightmare will be over.<br />
:'''Jewel''': Incredible. You would rather be with a-a-a human than your own kind.<br />
:'''Blu''': Well, that human has given me love and affection for the 15 years, whereas my own kind tried to strangle me after 15 seconds!<br />
:'''Jewel''': Yeah, well, because of them, I've lost everything. You can't trust them. ''[gasps]''<br />
:'''Blu''': Of course, you can trust humans. ''[he hears Jewel make a noise]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': ''[grunting]''<br />
:'''Blu''': Jewel? Jewel. ''[he sees a boy hover over him]'' Oh. Hi, there. ''[yells]'' ''[A boy named fernando. He puts a bag over Blu's head]''<br />
:'''All''': ''[laughter, festive chatter]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Tulio''': It was nice of you to join me for dinner. I often eat alone. Oh, uh, because, of course, my work.<br />
:'''Linda''': ''[chuckles]'' I thought I was the best nut, until I met you.<br />
:'''Tulio''': Yes. Right. Do you have a favorite bird?<br />
:'''Linda''': Well, obviously, I'm a blue macaw kind of gal.<br />
:'''Tulio''': ''[chuckles]'' That makes sense. They are very handsome birds.<br />
:'''Linda''': Actually, it's the brains I'm more attracted to. I'm not so impressed by fancy feathers.<br />
:'''Tulio''': I know exactly what you mean. My favorite bird is the spotted owl. I've always been mesmerized by those big, round, intelligent eyes.'' ''[he looks at Linda's eyes which are big, round, and intelligent-looking]''<br />
:'''Waiter''': Ha ha! Picanha!<br />
:'''Linda''': ''[screams]''<br />
:'''Second Waiter''': Chicken hearts? Flambada!<br />
:'''Linda''': Oh! Ooh! ''[chuckles]'' Chicken hearts. ''[laughs nervously]'' Oh, gosh. Ahh! Oh! ''[blowing]''<br />
:'''Tulio''': Oh. ''[chuckles]'' Hello?<br />
:'''Linda''': ''[sobbing; Blu and Jewel is gone]'' Oh, Blu. We should have never left Moose Lake. ''[Tulio opens and closes the door]'' This is all my fault.<br />
:'''Tulio''': No, no, Linda. Linda, please. ''[crying after finding out Blu has been taken]'' This is not your fault.<br />
:'''Linda''': ''[sniffles]'' You're right. It's not my fault. ''[She puts on her glasses and lashes out at Tulio]'' It's *your* '''FAULT!!'''<br />
:'''Tulio''': What the...?<br />
:'''Linda''': With your little bird talk and that whole "saves the species". Well, you know what? '''''SQUAWK, SQUAWKETY, SQUAWK, SQUAWK!''''' ''[Realizes what she said; covers her mouth]'' ''[realizing what she's done]'' ''[gasps]'' I'm sorry. I didn't mean to curse.<br />
:'''Tulio''': I... I don't understand. Sylvio is the best guard in the business.<br />
:'''Police Officer''': ''[Linda and Tulio watch as Sylvio gets questioned by a police officer]'' So let me get this straight. You were attacked by a little white bird?<br />
:'''Sylvio''': Yes, with this rag. ''[he holds up a small white rag]'' He held it to my mouth like... like this. ''[muffled babbling]''<br />
:'''Police Officer''': ''[sniffing]'' ''[sighs]''<br />
:''[he holds the rag against his mouth, takes a breath and faints to the ground; the police officer catches the rag, takes a sniff of it and also faints]''<br />
:'''Linda''': We're doomed.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Blu''': ''[Blu chants to himself with fear whilst trapped in a cage]'' Okay. Okay. There's no place like home. There's no place like home. Oh, how I wish I was back in my own cage, with my mirror and my swing and my little bell. Oh, how I miss my little bell.<br />
:'''Jewel''': Shh! Play dead.<br />
:''[She drops to the floor of the cage]''<br />
:'''Blu''': What? I don't need to play dead. I'm about to have a heart attack.<br />
:'''Jewel''': Just do it!<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[sighs]'' Fine. ''[moans]'' ''[gagging]'' ''[grunting]''<br />
:''[he fakes a fall and starts twitching]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': Stop twitching.<br />
:'''Blu''': Oh, come on. It's the twitching that sells it.<br />
:'''Jewel''': Shh!<br />
:'''Armando''':[First Words] Come on in, kid.<br />
:'''Marcel''': ''[a boy places the cage holding Blu and Jewel on the table in front of Marcel]''[First Words] Well, what do you know? Good work, Fernando. You see, boys? What did I tell you about this one?<br />
:'''Tipa''':[First Words] That you were going to pay him half as much as you said? ''[Marcel slaps Tipa in the face to shut him up]'' Ow!<br />
:'''Marcel''': No, you idiot. That he reminds me of myself when I was that age. Sweet, resourceful. Here you go, kid. ''[he hands the boy some money]''<br />
:'''Fernando''': Hey. This is only half of what you promised me.<br />
:'''Marcel''': Ah, shut up, kid. ''[takes the cover off the cage to see Blu and Jewel looking dead]'' What the...? ''[he picks up Jewel]'' I thought I told you I needed these birds alive. Tell me, Fernando, does this look alive to you? Huh?<br />
:''[Jewel bites Marcel's thumb and flies away]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': ''[squwaks]''<br />
:'''Marcel''': ''[screams]'' Get her!<br />
:'''Armando''': Come over here!<br />
:'''Armando and Tipa''': ''[grunts]''<br />
:'''Blu''': Jewel!<br />
:'''Jewel''': ''[panting]''<br />
:'''Marcel''': Come here!<br />
:'''Jewel''': ''[pants, screams]''<br />
:'''Nigel''':[First Words] Hello, pretty bird. What's the matter? Cockatoo got your throat?<br />
:'''Marcel''': Nigel! Alive.<br />
:'''Nigel''': To be continued.<br />
:'''Tipa''': ''[gasping]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': ''[groans, sighs]''<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[after Jewel has been caught and placed back in the cage with Blu]'' That was your plan-- to take off and leave me? Gee, thanks.<br />
:'''Jewel''': Well, why didn't you follow me?<br />
:'''Blu''': Uh... ''[doesn't reply as he's too embarrassed to admit he doesn't fly yet]''<br />
:'''Marcel''': Nice work, Nigel.<br />
:'''Tipa''': Yeah, nice work, Nigel.<br />
:'''Marcel''': The last blue macaws on Earth. ''[laughs]'' These are worth a fortune. Hey, Fernando. Hang these up in the other room.<br />
:'''Scaredy Bird''': Hey, Birdy. Let me out. Let me out! Let me out of here!!!<br />
:'''Neurotic Bird''': Who's a pretty bird? I'm a pretty bird. Pretty bird. I'm a pretty bird. ''[laughs]'' I'm a pretty bird.<br />
:'''Bat''': I was framed! They got the wrong guy!<br />
:'''Fernando''': Sorry, guys. Nothing personal. So, what's going to happen to them?<br />
:'''Marcel''': Don't worry. We're going to find good homes for them. Now, go home to your mama.<br />
:'''Fernando''': But I don't have a mama.<br />
:'''Marcel''': Father?<br />
:'''Armando''': Brother?<br />
:'''Tipa''': Goldfish? Aw. Can we keep him, boss?<br />
:'''Marcel''': No! ''[he shuts the door in Fernando's face]''<br />
:'''Tipa''': ''[hearing Marcel talking to his men through the door]'' So, Marcel, what's really going to happen to those birds?<br />
:'''Marcel''': Ugh! Plucked, stuffed, eaten. Who cares? All I know is we're going to be rich.<br />
:'''All''': ''[evilly laughing]''<br />
:'''Armando''': We're gonna be rich!<br />
:'''Fernando''': ''[grunts, groans]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Announcer''': ''[speaking Portuguese]''<br />
:'''Armando''': Come on! The game's starting.<br />
:'''Marcel''': Yes, you were very clear. Tomorrow, or the deal is off. Of course I have both the macaws. Yes, I will deliver them myself. Goodbye. All right, you two. You load the truck tonight. First thing, in the morning, we bring those birds to the airport. You got it?<br />
:'''Armando''': Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah, uh-huh.<br />
:'''Tipa''': Oh, yeah. All right. Heard you.<br />
:'''Marcel''': Oh. And one of you feed Nigel.<br />
:'''Men''': ''[gulp]'' Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.<br />
:'''Tipa''': Yes!<br />
:'''Armando''': Uh-uh. Scissors cuts rock.<br />
:'''Tipa''': Oh, man. How come you always win? ''[nervous grunting]'' Nice birdie. ''[whimpering]'' Yeah, here you go.<br />
:'''Nigel''': ''[shrieks]''<br />
:'''Tipa''': Aah!<br />
:'''Armando''': ''[gasps]''<br />
:'''Tipa''': ''[sighs, grunts]'' Ugh! Cannibal.<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[trapped in their cage in a room full of the other trapped animals]'' Okay, pull it together. The key is not to panic.<br />
:'''Jewel''': I'm not panicking.<br />
:'''Blu''': I wasn't talking to you; I was talking to me. But it's okay, because any minute now, Linda will find us.<br />
:'''Jewel''': Oh, great. And then she'll stick us behind another set of bars, right?<br />
:'''Blu''': Yeah. Uh, I mean, no.<br />
:'''Jewel''': Look, pet, cages might work for you, but I don't want to belong to anyone.<br />
:'''Birds''': ''[gasping]''<br />
:'''Nigel''': ''[smacking lips]'' Something seems to be lodged in my beak. Would you mind?<br />
:'''Bird''': ''[whimpering]'' ''[screams]''<br />
:'''Nigel''': ''[laughing]''<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[grunts]'' Ow!<br />
:'''Nigel''': ''[jumping onto the cage Blu and Jewel are being held in]'' Oh, I know I'm not a pretty birdie, but I used to be quite a looker. A star. Lights, camera, action.<br />
:''["Pretty Bird" plays]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': ''[grunts]''<br />
:'''Blu''': Hey!<br />
:'''Nigel''': Sweet nightmares. ''[laughing]'' ''[laughs wickedly and flies away]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Blu''': Not cool, man! Scary, but not cool. Hey, are you okay?<br />
:''[She starts throwing herself at the cage bars]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': No, I am definitely not okay!<br />
:'''Blu''': Whoa! Whoa, whoa, wait, wait. What are you doing?<br />
:'''Jewel''': Getting out of here. ''[grunts]''<br />
:'''Blu''': Whoa!<br />
:'''Jewel''': Are you going to help me or what?<br />
:'''Blu''': Actually, all the survival guides say to sit and wait... Ow! ...and help will come.<br />
:'''Jewel''': No one is coming!<br />
:''[She throws herself more violently at the cage]''<br />
:'''Blu''': Whoa!<br />
:'''Jewel''': We are on our own, and if we just sit here, we're going to die!<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[screams]''<br />
:'''Men''': Yes! Yes! Yes!<br />
:''[Sportscast plays in Portuguese]''<br />
:'''Men''': No!<br />
:'''Tipa''': Nigel, get out of the way!<br />
:'''Nigel''': ''[squawks]''<br />
:'''Armando''': Yeah! Hold on!<br />
:'''Jewel''': ''[grunting]''<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[as Jewel is continuing to throw herself around the cage]'' Stop, stop. Why don't you just open the door? ''[he slides open the cage door with his beak]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': ''[panting]'' Are you kidding me?<br />
:'''Blu''': What? It's just a standard flip slide bolt. Just rotate...<br />
:'''Jewel''': Come on! Let's fly! ''[screams]'' ''[Jewel flies out of the cage and grabs hold of Blu, but Blu grabs the cage with his beak]'' What are you doing?<br />
:'''Blu''': Oh, I can't...<br />
:'''Jewel''': What? You can't what?<br />
:''[Marcel's men open the door to catch them in the act of escaping and Blu lets go of the cage]''<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[gasps]''<br />
:'''Men''': ''[grunting]''<br />
:'''Nigel''': ''[shrieks]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': ''[hollering]''<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[gasps]'' Whoa! I can't fly!<br />
:''[they both fall onto a washline and start sliding across it]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': You couldn't tell me this before now?<br />
:'''Blu''': It didn't matter before now! ''[muffled grunting]''<br />
:''[they crash into a wall]''<br />
:'''Jewel and Blu''': ''[holler, grunt]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': I hate you.<br />
:'''Both''': ''[hollering]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': ''[after they crash land to the ground]'' Is there anything else I need to know?<br />
:'''Blu''': Yes. I can't fly, I pick my beak. And once in a while, I pee in the birdbath. Happy?<br />
:'''Armando''': There they are!<br />
:'''Jewel''': We got to get out of here!<br />
:'''Blu''': Whoa!<br />
:'''Jewel''': Move! Come on, just move! Move!<br />
:'''Jewel and Blu''': ''[gasping and grunting]''<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[as they're trying to get away from Marcel's men]'' Wait. Wait. Listen to me. Flying may not be my thing, but walking is. Follow my lead. Inside leg, outside leg. ''[he starts leading the way walking]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': Yeah. Yeah, okay. I got it.<br />
:'''Blu''': Inside, outside.<br />
:'''Jewel''': Inside, outside, inside, outside!<br />
:'''Blu''': Inside, outside.<br />
:'''Jewel''': Inside, outside.<br />
:'''Crowd''': Yes! Yes! Yes!<br />
:'''Tipa''': Huh? Yes! Yes!<br />
:'''Armando''': Come on!<br />
:'''Tipa''': Ow!<br />
:'''Jewel and Blu''': ''[panting]''<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[barks like dog]''<br />
:'''Cat''': ''[Meowing]''<br />
:'''Men''': ''[screaming]''<br />
:'''Blu''': See? I'm bilingual, too!<br />
:'''Nigel''': ''[squawking]''<br />
:''[Jewel and Blu are running away from Nigel]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': ''[as they are running away from Marcel's men]'' ''[panting]'' ''[she and Blu are running away from Nigel]'' Oh, this is great. I'm chained to the only bird in the world who can't fly.<br />
:'''Blu''': Actually, there are about 40 species of flightless birds.<br />
:'''Jewel''': ''[notices a box]'' Duck!<br />
:'''Blu''' No, [[w:Duck|ducks]] can fly.<br />
:'''Jewel''': ''[notices a crate]'' No! Duck! ''[referring to them ducking under a cart they're about to encounter]''<br />
:'''Blu''': Ahh! Whoa!<br />
:'''Jewel''': ''[hollering]''<br />
:'''Blu''': Whoa!<br />
:'''Guy''': Oh! Whoa!<br />
:'''Girl''': Whoo! Yay!<br />
:'''Jewel and Blu''': ''[hollering]''<br />
:'''Blu''': Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!<br />
:'''Nigel''': ''[squawking]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': Whoa!<br />
:'''Man''': ''[speaking Portuguese on TV]''<br />
:'''Crowd''': Yes!<br />
:'''Jewel and Blu''': Whoa!<br />
:'''Crowd''': Yes!<br />
:'''Jewel and Blu''': Whoa!<br />
:'''Crowd''': Yes!<br />
:'''Nigel''': ''[squawks]''<br />
:'''Crowd''': Yes! Yes!<br />
:'''Blu''': Hold on!<br />
:'''Jewel''': Aah!<br />
:'''Nigel''': ''[screaming]''<br />
:'''Announcer''': ''[shouting]''<br />
:'''Crowd''': No! No!<br />
:'''Chicken''': ''[clucking]''<br />
:'''Nigel''': ''[groaning]'' Get out of here, you putrid poultry! ''[groans]'' Ahh! Ow! Ah!<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Jewel''': ''[grunts, sighs]'' ''[grunts]''<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[confused and step on a stick]'' Ooh, ooh. What was that?<br />
:'''Jewel''': A stick.<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[asked and hit something]'' Ah! And that?<br />
:'''Jewel''': ''[calmly and kept walking]'' It's just a rock.<br />
:'''Blu''': Oh, right. Yeah. ''[Blu stops and shudders as he feels something on his back]'' ''[whimpers]'' Is that a spider on my back?<br />
:'''Jewel''': Will you quit it? It's just a leaf. Turn around. ''[Blu turns and we see a huge spider on his back]'' ''[gulps]'' Um... ''[Jewel quickly hits the spider off of Blu's back]'' ''[grunts]'' Leaf. Told you. Now, uh, just come on. We need to find a safe place to spend the night.<br />
:'''Blu''': Safe? Safe? We are in the jungle. You know when people say, "It's a jungle out there"? Well, I'm pretty sure they don't mean it as a good thing.<br />
:'''Jewel''': Look, I hate to break it to you, but this is where our kind naturally lives.<br />
:'''Blu''': Hey, hey, don't talk to me about nature. I watch Animal Planet. I know all about the food chain. ''[just then a bug flying by gets eaten by a frog A snake]'' Ah! Ahh! You see? You see? Out here, I'm just an hor d'oeuvres. Nothing more than a feathery spring roll.<br />
:'''Jewel''': That is why we stay in the trees and not on the ground. ''[pointing to a large tree ahead of them]'' After you. ''[pointing to a man-made tree house]''<br />
:'''Blu''': Oh. No. I don't think so. Nuh-uh. No. I would feel much more confortable in something man-made. Um... Hey. How about up there?<br />
:'''Jewel''': I can't believe I have to drag your clumsy butt up there.<br />
:'''Blu''': Drag me? ''[scoffs]'' Watch and learn.<br />
:'''Jewel''': Oh! Blu! Oh! Just wait one... ''[gasps]'' Blu! Ha!<br />
:'''Blu''': Who's dragging whose butt now, huh?<br />
:'''Jewel''': Ha ha. Very funny. ''[laughing]'' Oh! ''[grunting]''<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[as Blu reaches the top of the tree house]'' You see? Who needs flying?<br />
:'''Jewel''': Birds. Birds need flying. Flying is... it's freedom and-and not having to rely on anyone. Don't you want that?<br />
:'''Blu''': Mmm, I don't know. Sounds a little lonely. Uh... uh, I'm probably going to be up for a little while, muh, 'cause I'm-I'm still on Minnesota time.<br />
:'''Jewel''': Good night.<br />
:'''Blu''': Good night, Jewel. ''[looks out into the sky]'' Good night, Linda.<br />
:'''Linda''': Excuse me, Sir? Have you seen my bird? Have... have you seen my bird?<br />
:'''Woman''': Mm-mm.<br />
:'''Linda''': ''[sighs]'' Excuse me. Um, have you seen my bird? Ma'am? ''[snoring]'' Mmm. Have you seen my bird? ''[indistinct mumbling]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Fernando''': Lady! American lady!<br />
:'''Linda''': ''[gasps]'' Blu? Blu?<br />
:'''Tulio''': Ah! Where? ''[clears throat]'' Oh!<br />
:'''Fernando''': ''[gasps]'' Wow. I know where your birds are.<br />
:'''Linda''': You found Blu? Are you sure? ''[gasps]'' It's his!<br />
:'''Tulio''': Let me see that. ''[babbling]'' ''[slurping]'' Hmm. You're right.<br />
:'''Linda''': Okay. Where is he?<br />
:'''Fernando''': Come on. Let's go. I'll take you to him.<br />
:'''Tulio''': No, no, no. Linda, Linda, wait. We don't know this boy. We can't trust him.<br />
:'''Linda''': I have to trust him. I don't have a choice.<br />
:'''Chickens''': ''[clucking]''<br />
:'''Armando''': ''[clears throat]''<br />
:'''Marcel''': Do you think. I am an idiot?<br />
:'''Tipa''': Uh...<br />
:'''Marcel''': They were two birds, chained together, in a cage. HOW COULD YOU LOSE THEM!<br />
:'''Tipa''': They outsmarted us, boss. But-But don't worry. We'll get them back. I have a plan.<br />
:'''Marcel''': Oh, great. What are you going to do, wander the city calling, "Here, birdie, birdie. Here, birdie"?<br />
:'''Tipa''': Well, anything sounds dumb when you say it like that. ''[groans]''<br />
:'''Armando''': ''[laughs]''<br />
:'''Marcel''': Okay. We have to get the birds to the airport tonight.<br />
:'''Tipa''': But it's Carnival. All the roads will be blocked by the parade.<br />
:'''Marcel''': And that's why I wanted to go this morning! Nigel! ''[Nigel flies over onto Marcel's shoulder]''<br />
:'''Nigel''': ''[squawks]''<br />
:'''Marcel''': This bird is ten times smarter than the two of you combined.<br />
:'''Tipa''': Yeah, well, if he's so smart, then why don't you put him in charge?<br />
:'''Marcel''': I am putting him in charge.<br />
:'''Armando''': ''[to Tipa]'' Stop suggesting things!<br />
:'''Marcel''': Go find them nigel. ''[Nigel flies out of the window in search of Blu and Jewel]''<br />
:'''Tipa''': ''[gasps]''<br />
:''[Nigel flies out of the window in search of Blu and Jewel]''<br />
:'''Marcel''': Hmm. If we can't get through the parade. We'll have to be in the parade.<br />
:'''Men''': Huh?<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Jewel''': ''[as they are pulling up a huge rock on a rope]'' Are you sure this is going to work?<br />
:'''Blu''': Positive. Check out my math. ''[pointing to the map he's drawn on the ground]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': Yeah, that's... that's comforting. Thank you. Look, let's just get this chain broken.<br />
:'''Blu''': Right. Then we can go and find Linda.<br />
:'''Jewel''': No, you can go find Linda. Once this chain is off, I'm going to go back to being free in the jungle. Deal?<br />
:'''Blu''': Fine. Deal. ''[screams]''<br />
:''[he puts one of his wings up accidentally, pulling the lever holding the rock off its hook]''<br />
:'''Both''': ''[yelling]'' ''[groaning]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': Nice try, brainiac. ''[groans]''<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[gasps]'' I think something is watching us.<br />
:'''Toucan Children''': ''[chirping]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': Oh, be careful, Blu. They might snuggle you to death.<br />
:'''Blu''': Oh. ''[chuckles]'' Aw, come here. ''[screaming, groaning]''<br />
:'''Toucan Children''': Intruders!<br />
:'''Jewel''': Aah!<br />
:'''Blu and Jewel''': ''[yelling and groaning]''<br />
:'''Blu''': Now stop! Ow! Aah! ''[gulps, gags]'' Aah! No! No! Whoa! Whoa!<br />
:'''Toucan Son''': Attack!<br />
:'''Blu and Jewel''': Aah!<br />
:'''Blu''': Help!<br />
:'''Rafael''': What's going on down there?<br />
:'''Blu and Jewel''': ''[grunting and groaning]''<br />
:'''Rafael''': Go, go, go. Off with you.<br />
:'''Toucans Children''': Daddy! Daddy!<br />
:'''Rafael''': Okay, guys, guys... I've told you thousand times. Manuela, Sofia, come on, now. Listen to me. Ow! Oh, yeah, right in the eye.<br />
:'''Jewel''': ''[referring to Rafael's children]'' Oh, precious, aren't they?<br />
:'''Rafael''': ''[chuckles]'' Kids? 17 of them, and one on the way. ''[shouting to two of his children shaking an unhatched egg]'' Hey!'' ''He is not a maraca! Stop shaking him! ''[turning to Blu and Jewel]''<br />
:'''Toucan Children''': ''[giggling]''<br />
:'''Rafael''': They're giving me gray feathers. Oh, this papa needs a break. So, you two lovebirds headed for Carnival?<br />
:'''Jewel''': Whoa. ''[chuckles]'' Lovebirds?<br />
:'''Blu''': Uh, we're more like acquaintance birds.<br />
:'''Jewel''': And not even that. We're more like chained-to-each-other birds.<br />
:'''Blu''': Yeah. I-I mean, if... Ow!<br />
:'''Toucan Kid''': ''[giggles]''<br />
:''[one of toucan kids pulls his feather]''<br />
:'''Blu''': What is it with this kid and the feathers?<br />
:'''Rafael''': We have no idea. We're having him tested.<br />
:'''Jewel''': So, do you think you could help us get this thing off?<br />
:'''Rafael''': Hmm. Lucky for you, you know Rafael, and Rafael knows everyone. Oh! Again with the eye. Okay, want me to call your mother?<br />
:'''Toucan Children''': No!<br />
:'''Rafael''': ''[chuckles]'' Works every time. They're scared to death of her. Ahh!<br />
:'''Eva''': Call me for what?!<br />
:'''Rafael''': Eva, my love. ''[chuckles]'' I must take this young couple to see Luiz.<br />
:'''Eva''': Luiz? Huh. You don't fool me for a second! You and your amigo just want to sneak off to Carnival.<br />
:'''Rafael''': Oh, Carnival. That magical time when I met the most beautiful bird in the world.<br />
:''[He hugs Eva and blows an air kiss towards her]''<br />
:'''Blu''': Aw.<br />
:'''Jewel''': Ugh.<br />
:'''Eva''': Huh!<br />
:'''Rafael''': I still remember the song that was playing when I first laid eyes on you. ♪ Tall and tanned and young and lovely ♪ ♪ The girl from Ipanema ♪ ♪ Goes walking ♪ Come on, baby, sing it!<br />
:'''Eva''': ''[off-key]'' ♪ And when she passes ♪<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[shuddering]''<br />
:'''Eva''': ''[off-key]'' ♪ Each one she passes goes, "Ahh!" ♪<br />
:'''Rafael''': ''[as Eva sings out of tune]'' Like a river of the sweetest honey.<br />
:''[Blu and Jewel wince as Eva sings]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': Ooh! I guess love is deaf too.<br />
:'''Rafael''': Come here. ''[chuckles as they bang each other]''<br />
:'''Toucan kids''': Ew!<br />
:'''Eva''': Okay. Take them to Luiz, but hurry back.<br />
:'''Rafael''': You are an angel. I'll miss you, my juicy little mango.<br />
:'''Eva''': Oh, me, too, my pudgy papaya.<br />
:'''Boy''': Ow! Ow!<br />
:'''Eva''': ''[hears baby toucans' blow]'' [[Arthur (TV series)|'''Hey! Marco! Carlos! Put your brother down!''' '''''NOW!''''']]<br />
:'''Rafael''': I can't believe she actually let me go.<br />
:'''Blu''': So, uh... how far is this Luiz?<br />
:'''Rafael''': Not far. Thirty minutes as the crow flies.<br />
:'''Blu''': Uh... and how long as the macaw walks?<br />
:'''Jewel''': Bobo here can't fly.<br />
:'''Rafael''': But... but he's a bird!<br />
:'''Blu''': Not all birds fly. There are ostriches.<br />
:'''Jewel''': You are not an ostrich.<br />
:'''Blu''': Well, not technically, but...<br />
:'''Rafael''': Wait, wait, wait! My friends, I wanna help, but to walk the whole way, it... it... it can't be done!<br />
:''[He suddenly notices his kids clambering around his wife asking after him]''<br />
:'''Rafael''': But hey, we might as well give it a shot. Let's go, quickly. No, no, d-don't look back. They sense fear.<br />
:''[He turns Blu and Jewel around and walks away quietly; Jewel turns to look at the kids]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Monkey''': ''[shrieks, chitters]''<br />
:'''Lady Tourist''': Oh, what an adorable monkey.<br />
:'''Guy''': Aw.<br />
:'''Mauro''': ''[indistinct chatter]''<br />
:'''Monkey''': ''[chittering]'' ''[hooting]''<br />
:'''Mauro''': ''[blows raspberries]''<br />
:'''Woman''': Oh. Oh, no.<br />
:'''Man Tourist''': Hey! My watch.<br />
:''["Funky Monkey" plays]''<br />
:'''Mauro''': ''[grunting]'' ''[hooting]''<br />
:'''Nigel''': Hello, boys. Seems like you've had a busy day.<br />
:'''Mauro''': ''[laughs]'' What, this? ''[Referring to all the stuff they've stolen from tourists]'' This is just some stuff we found. Right, boys? Yeah.<br />
:''[The crowd of monkeys all agree]''<br />
:'''Nigel''': I'm not interested in your nicked knick-knacks. Your burgled baubles bore me. There are two blue macaws out there, and I need your multitude of eyes to help me find them.<br />
:'''Mauro''': Oh, yeah? What's in it for us? ''[chuckles]''<br />
:'''Nigel''': Well, that's a fair question.<br />
:''[He suddenly takes the lead marmoset and flies high into the sky]''<br />
:'''Mauro''': ''[screaming]''<br />
:'''Nigel''': Let's discuss it.<br />
:''[Nigel drops him]''<br />
:'''Mauro''': ''[screaming]'' ''[frantic hooting]''<br />
:'''Nigel''': I certainly see your point.<br />
:''[To the lead marmoset as he's falling down]''<br />
:'''Nigel''': But what could I possibly do for you in return? Hmm?<br />
:'''Mauro''': ''[while falling]'' '''Save me! SAVE ME!'''<br />
:'''Nigel''': Oh! Well, that's a thought, yeah. But is it enough? I don't want to feel like I'm cheating you.<br />
:'''Mauro''': Ahh! Help me! Help me! Help me! We'll do it! We'll do it! Save me, please. Save me!<br />
:''[Just before he hits the ground, he stops as Nigel catches him]''<br />
:'''Nigel''': All right, you've twisted my wing. Deal. Now then, anymore questions?<br />
:''[The group of monkeys remain silent]''<br />
:'''Nigel''': No? Good. You will spread out and you will find these macaws by the end of the day, or it's flying lessons for everyone! Go!<br />
:''[The group of monkeys all scream with fright and run off]''<br />
:'''Nigel''': Go do your monkey business.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Blu''': ''[whimpers]'' ''[yells]'' ''[as he looks down the edge of a cliff]'' I've changed my mind. Yeah. Uh, maybe we could find a... a bus schedule or something?<br />
:'''Rafael''': Come on. You're not gonna back out now, Not in front of the lady.<br />
:'''Blu''': Uh... huh! Okay, yeah. Yeah, yeah, sure.<br />
:'''Rafael''': All right, that's the spirit.<br />
:'''Jewel''': You're sure you're up for this?<br />
:'''Blu''': Yeah. Yeah, I mean, well it's not like we're just hurling ourselves off a mountain or something, right?<br />
:'''Rafael''': Actually, that was pretty much my entire plan.<br />
:'''Blu''': What?<br />
:'''Rafael''': No. Don't worry, Blu. It's in your DNA. And if our featherless friends can do it, how hard can it be?<br />
:''[Two men on a hang-glider have an unsuccessful take-off]''<br />
:'''Man on Glider''': No, no, wait, wait! Aah! Mommy!<br />
:'''Rafael''': Fun, right?<br />
:'''Blu''': Yeah. Fun.<br />
:'''Rafael''': Okay. I need you two to get closer. ''[Blu and Jewel step an inch close]'' Closer. ''[Blu and Jewel step another inch close and touch each other]'' Closer. Ooh. Nice. Now put your wings around each other.<br />
:'''Blu''': What?<br />
:'''Rafael''': Come on, amigo! It's not like she's going to bite. Will you?<br />
:'''Jewel''': We'll see.<br />
:'''Rafael''': ''[to Blu and Jewel who are standing side by side]'' Now, you flap your right wing, you flap your left wing, and together, you fly.<br />
:'''Blu''': Uh... but this doesn't seem aerodynamically possible!<br />
:'''Rafael''': Ey-ya-ya-ya-ya! You think too much! Fly! It's not what you think up here. ''[points to Blu's head]'' It's what you feel in here. ''[points to Blu's heart]'' And when you feel the rhythm of your heart, it's like Samba! You fly! ''[whooping]'' ''[as Rafael is demonstrating flying to Blu]'' See? It's easy.<br />
:'''Blu''': Easy? Easy for you to say. 'Cause from... from here it looks really, really hard!<br />
:'''Jewel''': Hey, if you want to see Linda again, this is the only way.<br />
:'''Blu''': Okay, you're right.<br />
:'''Jewel''': Yes, I am.<br />
:'''Blu''': This is for Linda.<br />
:'''Jewel''': Right!<br />
:'''Blu''': Keep it simple.<br />
:'''Jewel''': Easy-breezy.<br />
:'''Blu''': Thrust, lift, drag.<br />
:'''Jewel''': Oh, come on! Let's go!<br />
:''[She drags him along]''<br />
:'''Blu''': Whoa, whoa, wait!<br />
:'''Jewel''': Inside, outside. Inside, outside.<br />
:'''Blu''': Inside, outside. Inside, outside.<br />
:'''Jewel''': Inside, outside.<br />
:'''Blu''': Inside...<br />
:'''Jewel''': Come on, Blu! You can do it!<br />
:'''Blu''': I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can't do it! ''[yells]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': Whoa! Not again!<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[grunting]''<br />
:'''Blu and Jewel''': Aah!<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[sighs]'' Am I dead?<br />
:'''Jewel''': No. We're still alive! ''[laughs]''<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[sighing]'' This is incredible. Wow. This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.<br />
:'''Jewel''': ''[laughs]'' See what you've been missing?<br />
:'''Blu''': Yeah. Whoa!<br />
:'''Rafael''': ''[after Blu and Jewel have landed on top of a hand glider's wings]'' All right, Blu! You're flying! Sort of. Not really. But do you feel it?<br />
:'''Blu''': Yes! I do feel it.<br />
:''[Blu stands up confidently and spreads his wings about to/ready to fly for real]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': No! No! Blu, wait!<br />
:'''Blu and Jewel''': Aah!<br />
:''[Both holler as they get windswept off the hang-glider]''<br />
:'''Rafael''': Ay, caramba.<br />
:''[Blu accidentally punches a hole in an orange and pink hang-glider; male human screams when he sees Blu]''<br />
:'''Blu''': Whoa!<br />
:'''Jewel''': Aah! ''[grunting]''<br />
:'''Blu''': Whoa, whoa! Aah!<br />
:'''Other Hang Glider''': ''[screaming]''<br />
:'''Blu''': Aah! Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.<br />
:'''Blu and Jewel''': Aah!<br />
:'''Blu''': We're going to die! ''[whimpers]'' Whoa!<br />
:'''Blu and Jewel''': Aah!<br />
:'''Other Hang Glider''': ''[grunts]''<br />
:'''Both''': Aah! ''[grunting]''<br />
:'''Rafael''': ''[after Blu and Jewel have crash landed to the ground from Blu's nearly successful but failed attempt at flying]'' You did not feel it in here. ''[pointing to his heart]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': ''[sarcastically]'' You think?<br />
:'''Rafael''': Let's catch a ride to Luiz. Hurry, you two! Vamos! Vamos!<br />
:'''Blu''': Ah, okay. Ahh! Last of the species here. Whoa!<br />
:'''Jewel''': Move it! ''[panting]''<br />
:'''Blu''': Hey, wait... wait-wait... wait up.<br />
:'''Rafael''': Come on, lovebirds.<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[grunting]''<br />
:'''Rafael''': Ah, you made it.<br />
:'''Jewel''': ''[panting]''<br />
:'''Blu''': I would love to go five minutes without almost getting killed. Is that too much to ask?<br />
:'''Jewel''': For a bird who can't fly? Oh, yeah.<br />
:'''Officer''': ''[blows whistle]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Tulio''': They're starting to close off the streets for Carnival. You better be right, kid, because we're running out of time. ''[groans]'' I'll never be able to get my car through this crowd.<br />
:'''Fernando''': Don't worry, I'm on it.<br />
:'''Linda and Tulio''': ''[yelling]''<br />
:'''Chickens''': ''[clucking]''<br />
:'''Tulio''': Hey, kid! How'd you get this bike?<br />
:'''Fernando''': I traded it for your Jeep.<br />
:'''Tulio''': What?!<br />
:'''Fernando''': Yeah, it's in great condition.<br />
:'''Tulio''': Whoa!<br />
:'''Fernando''': Well, good condition!<br />
:'''Linda and Tulio''': Aah!<br />
:'''Fernando''': Hey, out of the way!<br />
:'''Linda''': Look out!<br />
:'''Tulio''': Ow! ''[screams]''<br />
:'''Fernando''': Hold on!<br />
:'''Linda and Tulio''': ''[shuttered grunting]'' ''[screaming]''<br />
:'''Blu''': Ahh!<br />
:'''Jewel''': Whoa!<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[groans]'' Ow!<br />
:'''Jewel''': Ugh. I'm going to chew through my own leg if this doesn't come off soon.<br />
:'''Rafael''': Relax. If I know Luiz, we're right where we wanna be.<br />
:'''Nico''': Hey, Rafi! If it isn't the king of carnival!<br />
:'''Rafael''': Nico! Pedro! What up, family?<br />
:'''Pedro''': Where you been hidin' yourself, bird?<br />
:'''Nico''': Man, I thought you were dead.<br />
:'''Pedro''': Hold up! Rewind. ''[going towards Blu]'' Ain't that the bird from the cage?<br />
:'''Nico''': I think our love lessons went down smooth.<br />
:'''Pedro''': You work fast!<br />
:'''Nico''': Baby got big!<br />
:'''Pedro''': You was locked up and now you're rollin' up with a hot wing! Woo! I wanna be like you.<br />
:'''Blu''': Oh, no, no. It's not what you think. We're just uh... chained together.<br />
:'''Nico''': Hey, I'm not judging you.<br />
:'''Pedro''': Keep it spicy.<br />
:'''Nico''': Oh, yeah.<br />
:'''Rafael''': Hey, guys. We're looking for Luiz. Have you seen him?<br />
:'''Pedro''': Yeah, I seen him, but you didn't, 'cause you just missed him. He took the trolley back to the garage.<br />
:'''Jewel''': Oh, great.<br />
:'''Nico''': Relax, baby bird. You could catch the next one.<br />
:'''Pedro''': Yeah, it's time to take it to the next level.<br />
:'''Blu''': What's wrong with this level?<br />
:'''Pedro''': Come on. This ain't the level. The next level's the level. You got to shake your tail feathers.<br />
:'''Nico''': Oh, yeah!<br />
:'''Blu''': Uh, we... we got to get this chain off first.<br />
:'''Rafael''': Come on, lovebirds. You're in Rio. You should enjoy it!<br />
:'''Nico''': Yeah, live a little.<br />
:'''Mauro''': Ah. Ooh. Hmm? ''[laughs]'' We got 'em.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[dance music playing, festive yelling]''<br />
:'''Birds''': ''[laughter]''<br />
:'''Kipo''': Hey!<br />
:'''Nico''': Welcome to paradise!<br />
:'''Rafael''': Some party, huh?<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[as they enter a club full of birds dancing and thumping with music]'' This is the coolest place I've ever seen. Despite all the obvious health code violations.<br />
:'''Rafael''': ''[laughs]'' I like you! Nothing you say makes any sense.<br />
:'''Nico''': E ai, galera? All right, everyone, listen up. Rafi has some special guests from out of town, and let's show them some love, because I don't think they get out much.<br />
:'''Pedro''': Ya, ya, ya, ya, yo! Everybody put their wings together and clap 'em as loud as you can! Flap 'em, clap 'em. I don't care, slap 'em. ''[squwaking]''<br />
:'''Nico''': Party in the Ipanema, baby.<br />
:''["Hot Wings (I Wanna Party)" plays]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': What are you doing?<br />
:'''Blu''': Uh, I don't know.<br />
:'''Rafael''': All right, Blu! Hey, she likes you.<br />
:'''Blu''': What are you talking about? Haven't you been listening?<br />
:'''Rafael''': No, but I've been watching. Just be yourself. Go on.<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[gasps]''<br />
:'''Little Green Bird''': ''♪ Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! ♪''<br />
:'''Monkeys''': ''[chittering and hooting]''<br />
:'''Mauro''': ''[from trailer]'' You two are coming with me.<br />
:'''Jewel''': In your little monkey dreams. ''[spits on the ground]''<br />
:'''Blu''': Yeah. ''[tries to spit too, but it sticks to his beak. He wipes it off.]'' That was meant for you.<br />
:'''Rafael''': Come on. Can we all just get along?<br />
:'''Mauro''': This isn't your fight, big nose. ''[laughs, gasps]''<br />
:''[The marmosets laugh, until one bird grabs Mauro's arm and glares at him.]''<br />
:'''Kipo''': You mess with my friends, you mess with me.<br />
:'''Other Birds''': And us!<br />
:'''Pedro''': Yeah, little [[King Kong]].<br />
:''[The marmosets and birds have an intense stare-off]''<br />
:'''Little Green Bird''': ''[panicky]'' I don't know what's going on here. ''[flies off]''<br />
:'''Pedro''': ''[breaking a stare-off]'' '''<big>BIRDS VS. [[w:Common marmoset|MONKEYS]]!</big>'''<br />
:''[The birds charge in.]''<br />
:'''Mauro''': Get them!<br />
:''[The marmosets charge in.]''<br />
:'''All''': ''[shouting, grunting]''<br />
:'''Monkey''': ''[laughs, grunts]''<br />
:'''Pedro''': Yippee-kai-yay, monkey man!<br />
:'''Nico''': Yeah!<br />
:'''Blu and Jewel''': ''[asps]''<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[grunting]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': ''[gasps]''<br />
:'''Mauro''': Ohh!<br />
:'''Monkey''': Yee-haw! Yee-haw! Giddyap!<br />
:'''Rafael''': ''[grunting]'' Missed!<br />
:'''Monkey''': ''[hooting, whooping]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': We got to go! ''[gasps]''<br />
:'''Kipo''': Need a lift?<br />
:'''Blu''': Whoa!<br />
:'''Nico''': ''[gasps]'' ''[whooping]'' ''[as he hits one of the monkey's with his bottle top hat]'' ''[laughs]'' Ooh! Take that, you funky monkey!<br />
:'''Blu and Jewel''': ''[laughing, whooping]''<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[chuckles]'' Thank you!<br />
:'''Kipo''': Anytime! Whoo-hoo!<br />
:'''Pedro''': That's what I'm talking about!<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[as they've gotten away from the monkeys]'' Man, we threw down!<br />
:'''Jewel''': Yeah, we threw down!<br />
:'''Rafael''': You guys were like fire and ice.<br />
:'''Nico''': Thunder and lightnin'!<br />
:'''Pedro''': Hip 'n' hop!<br />
:'''Blu''': Cheese and sprinkles!<br />
:''[they all stop laughing and give Blu a strange look]''<br />
:'''Blu''': It's a Minnesota thing.<br />
:''[they all laugh]''<br />
:'''Rafael''': You see? Nothing you say makes any sense.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Fernando''': Come on. Follow me.<br />
:'''Tulio''': Uh... ''[groans]''<br />
:'''Fernando''': What? But... the birds were here.<br />
:'''Tulio''': Yeah, sure they were, kid.<br />
:'''Fernando''': I swear! The birds were right here.<br />
:'''Linda''': Well, how do you know?<br />
:'''Fernando''': Because I'm-- I'm the one who took them.<br />
:'''Linda''': You?!<br />
:'''Fernando''': I-I... I didn't mean to hurt anybody... I needed the money.<br />
:'''Linda''': But Fernando, I trusted you!<br />
:'''Fernando''': I know, but-- ''[Before he can finish Tipa and Armando enter]''<br />
:'''Linda''': ''[gasps]''<br />
:'''Tipa''': ''[chuckling]'' Oh, man, that's good.<br />
:'''Fernando''': Hey, guys.<br />
:'''Armando''': What are you doing here?<br />
:'''Fernando''': I just wanted to see if... you had any work for me.<br />
:'''Tipa''': Well, if you were here two hours ago, and you've could've helped us load the... Ow! What?<br />
:'''Armando''': ''[quietly]'' Shut up.<br />
:'''Fernando''': So, wh-why are you guys dressed for Carnival?<br />
:'''Tipa''': So no one will notice us when we smuggle these b... Ow!<br />
:'''Armando''': Shut up!<br />
:'''Tipa''': ''[quietly]'' We made a float.<br />
:'''Fernando''': Oh. Oh, a-a float. So, you guys are going to the parade. Can I come? I'm a great dancer.<br />
:'''Tipa''': Can he come? Come on, please? Three's better than two?<br />
:'''Fernando''': ''[grunting]''<br />
:'''Armando''': ''[groans]'' Oh, fine. We got to hurry, though.<br />
:'''Fernando''': ''[gasps]''<br />
:'''Tipa''': Whoa. I almost forget. I thought it was right here. ''[grunting]'' Ah, there it is. Huh. Got it. ''[chuckles]'' Let's go.<br />
:'''Fernando''': Whew!<br />
:'''Armando''': Hurry up, kid.<br />
:'''Tipa''': Can he ride on the plane with us, too? Ow!<br />
:'''Armando''': Shut up!<br />
:'''Tulio''': No. We can't let them get on that plane.<br />
:'''Linda''': You can drive a motorcycle, right?<br />
:'''Tulio''': Yes. You insult me. Hmm!<br />
:'''Linda and Tulio''': ''[gasps]''<br />
:'''Guy''': ''[yells]''<br />
:'''Linda''': Ooh...<br />
:'''Tulio''': Ow... No, I can't... drive a motorcycle. ''[distorted yelling]''<br />
:'''Linda''': Whoa! It's just like riding a snowmobile! ''[chuckles]''<br />
:'''Tulio''': ''[yells]''<br />
:'''Nigel''': What happened?<br />
:'''Lead Marmoset''': ''[whimpers]'' Papa?<br />
:'''Nigel''': What happened?!<br />
:'''Mauro''': ''[woozy groan]''<br />
:'''Little Green Bird''': ''[cheeping quietly]''<br />
:'''Nigel''': Ha!<br />
:'''Little Green Bird''': ''[squeaky]'' Oh, no, let me go!<br />
:'''Nigel''': ''[grabs hold of a tiny green bird]'' Stop your chirping and talk to me!<br />
:'''Little Green Bird''': No! No! No! I don't know anything! Help!<br />
:'''Nigel''': Mmm... when I bite down on your head, will it go pop? Or will it go crack? ''[he squeezes hard on the little green birds head]'' Where are the cerulean birds? That means blue, by the way.<br />
:'''Little Green Bird''': ''[gasps]'' They escaped! Went to Luiz.<br />
:'''Nigel''': Anything else?<br />
:'''Little Green bird''':(Smiles) They said you were very nice.<br />
:'''Nigel''': Hmm, did they? Well, liar.<br />
:'''Little Green bird''': And handsome too?<br />
:''[Nigel throws the little green bird and it hits the lead marmoset in the head]''<br />
:'''Nigel''': Never send a monkey to do a bird's job. ''[squawks]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Rafael''': Pssst!<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[whispers]'' Don't worry, I got it.<br />
:'''Rafael''': ''[as he watches Blu getting closer to Jewel]'' There he goes! That's my boy!<br />
:''[Blu tries to wrap his wing around Jewel but stops mid-way as Jewel looks at him]''<br />
:'''Blu''': Ooh! Is it hot? I... I think I'm... I'm sweating. I didn't even think that was biologically possible. I get... look? ''[he holds up his wing]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': Oh. Wow.<br />
:'''Nico''': ''[as they watch Blu make a fool of himself]'' Yeah! That's your boy, alright.<br />
:'''Rafael''': Okay, so he needs a little help. Well, come on. Let's give him some. Set the mood.<br />
:'''Pedro''': Alright, look. I'm on it. I know how to set the mood. Check it out. ''[he starts dancing and rapping]'' Get it-get it-get it-get it-get it-get it girl! Get-ge-get-ge-get it girl! Take her, take her to the flow! Show her, show her how you roll! Drop it! Drop it! Drop it low! Drop it, d-drop it low!<br />
:'''Rafael''': Whoa, whoa, whoa! What kind of mood is that?<br />
:'''Nico''': Pedro, Pedro, a little too aggressive. Not hatin' on your creativity, but I think I got this one. Follow my lead. ''[whistling melody]''<br />
:'''Rafael''': Now, that's more like it.<br />
:'''Nico''': ''[whistling romantic melody over bossa nova rhythm]'' ''[singing]'' Wasn't really thinking, wasn't looking, wasn't searching for an answer / In the moonlight / When I saw your face / Saw you looking at me, saw you peeking out from under moon beams / Through the palm trees / Swaying in the breeze / I know I'm feeling so much more than ever before / And so I'm giving more to you than I thought I could do / Don't know how it happened, don't know why but you don't really need a reason / When the stars shine / Just to fall in love / Made to love each other, made to be together for a life time / In the sunshine / Flying in the sky / I know I'm feeling so much more than ever before / And so I'm giving more to you / Than I thought I could do / Oh yeah... / Now I know love is real / So it's sky high, as the angels try / Letting you and I / Fly love<br />
:'''Jewel''': Wow. What a beautiful sunset.<br />
:'''Blu''': Yeah.<br />
:'''Rafael''': ''[flying alongside the trolley, whispering to Blu]'' Pssst! Blu, down here. Just tell her, "You have beautiful eyes".<br />
:'''Blu''': That's good! Great idea. ''[to Jewel; confidently]'' I have beautiful eyes.<br />
:'''Jewel''': Aah... yeah. Okay, Sure. They're... they're nice.<br />
:'''Rafael''': ''[flying low, whispers to Blu]'' No! Her eyes! Her eyes!<br />
:'''Blu''': Oh, right. Yeah! ''[turns to Jewel]'' Your eyes. Your eyes are great. Not mine. I mean, you know, mine are okay. But yours, I-I bet you can see right through them.<br />
:'''Rafael''': ''[whispering to Blu]'' Blu, just tell her how you feel.<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[turns to Jewel]'' Jewel?<br />
:'''Jewel''': Yeah?<br />
:'''Blu''': I've been wanting to tell you, that I... that I... ''[suddenly swallows a floating flower petal and chokes]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': Oh, how sweet. You're getting choked up. ''[turns to look at Blu and realizes he's really choking]'' Oh! Oh! You're choking! Uh, okay! All right! ''[she starts giving him the heimlich maneuver]'' Come on, Blu, you got to move with me. Stay with me, Blu. Hyah! One more. Come on. One... more... time! Hyah!<br />
:'''Rafael''': ''[they watch in dismay as Jewel gives Blu the Heimlich maneuver]'' Yep, that's my boy.<br />
:'''Nico''': ''[descending whistle then imitates explosion]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[after Blu spits out the flower petal and they get off the trolley]''<br />
:'''Rafael''': Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Luiz's garage!<br />
:'''Blu''': After you.<br />
:'''Jewel''': No, no, no, you first.<br />
:'''Blu''': Oh, please, I insist.<br />
:'''Jewel and Blu''': Okay. ''[thump]'' ''[chuckling]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': Yeah. ''[chuckles]'' ''[sighs]'' Guess this is it.<br />
:'''Blu''': Uh, yeah. Quite an adventure.<br />
:'''Jewel''': End of the line.<br />
:'''Blu''': Ah, yes.<br />
:'''Jewel''': Guess things like this don't happen in Tiny-soda.<br />
:'''Blu''': Tiny-soda? ''[laughs]'' Oh. Wait, Minne-sota?<br />
:'''Jewel''': Yeah. ''[laughs]''<br />
:'''Blu''': Oh, that's very good.<br />
:'''Jewel''': Right.<br />
:'''Blu''': That's very funny, actually.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Rafael''': Luiz! Are you here? Luiz? Hey, buddy. I got some friends I want you to meet.<br />
:'''Luiz''': ''[vicious barking]''<br />
:'''Pedro and Nico''': Aah!<br />
:'''Jewel and Blu''': Aah! Inside! Outside! Inside Outside! ''[grunts]''<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[whimpering]'' ''[disgusted groan]''<br />
:'''Luiz''': ''[laughing]'' I got you's good!<br />
:'''Jewel and Blu''': What?<br />
:'''Luiz''': I could've ripped your throats out, but I didn't. ''[slurps]'' But I could've.<br />
:'''Rafael''': ''[laughs]'' Hey, Luiz! Stop scaring my friends.<br />
:'''Luiz''': Hey, Rafie! Come here! Where you been?<br />
:'''Rafael''': ''[grunts]''<br />
:'''Luiz''': You look good.<br />
:'''Jewel''': W-W-Wait. Luiz is a [[w:Bulldog|bulldog]]?<br />
:'''Luiz''': You got something against dogs?<br />
:'''Jewel''': I do when they're drooling on me.<br />
:'''Luiz''': ''[slurps]'' It's a medical condition.<br />
:'''Rafael''': No, no, hey, amigo, we really need you.<br />
:'''Luiz''': She's mean, bro.<br />
:'''Rafael''': Luiz, come on, please, please. We need your help.<br />
:'''Luiz''': Hmm. ''[slurps]'' I think I know what to do.<br />
:'''Blu''': Uh, are you sure this is safe?<br />
:'''Luiz''': Oh, sure. There's nothing to it. ''[muffled, echoing]'' Now if something goes wrong, scream really loud. Because I hear too good with this thing on. Hey, Raffie! Get the switch, please.<br />
:'''Rafael''': Don't worry. He's a professional. ''[grunts]''<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[gasps]''<br />
:'''Nico''': ''[whimpering]''<br />
:'''Luiz''': Now, try not to move! I can't really see out of this thing, either!<br />
:'''Blu and Jewel''': ''[gasping]''<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[gasping]'' ''[deep, distorted yelling]'' ''[distorted yelling continues]'' Whoa!<br />
:'''Rafael''': ''[grunting]''<br />
:'''Luiz''': Hey! Where'd you go?<br />
:'''Blu''': Whoa...!<br />
:'''Jewel''': ''[gasps]''<br />
:'''All''': ''[strained grunting]''<br />
:''[As he swipes Luiz's drool off his foot]''<br />
:'''Blu and Jewel''': ''[grunts]''<br />
:'''Luiz''': ''[grunting, spits]''<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[as he swipes Luiz's drool off his foot]'' Ugh! Ew, gross. ''[gasps]'' But I'm free. ''[realizing he's freed from his chain]'' Jewel! Jewel, we're free! Slimy, but free. Contaminated, probably. But free! You believe it's finally...<br />
:''[Jewel suddenly flies past him, laughing with joy]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': Ha-ha! ''[whooping]''<br />
:'''Blu''': ...over.<br />
:'''Jewel''': Oh, yeah! Whoo! Wah-hah! Come on, guys, let's go!<br />
:'''Nico''': What are we standing around for? It's Carnival!<br />
:'''Pedro''': ''[whooping]''<br />
:'''Nico, Pedro and Rafael''': ''[whooping, shouting happily]''<br />
:'''All''': ''[whooping, laughing]''<br />
:'''Rafael''': Beautiful!<br />
:'''Pedro''': Oh, yeah!<br />
:'''Jewel''': ''[shouts happily]''<br />
:''[As Blu sadly watches Jewel, Nico, Pedro and Rafael fly around in the sky with joy]''<br />
:'''Luiz''': Yep. I know just how you feel. Watchin' 'em up there, makes you want to chase them and grab 'em in your mouth and bite their heads off. Huh? ''[slurps]'' ''[Blu remains silent]'' Hey, I'm just kiddin', bro. Yeah. Chasin' 'em is plenty.<br />
:'''Jewel''': ''[laughing]'' ♪ I'm flying flying just like a bird! ♪<br />
:'''Nico''': Jewel, but you are a bird.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[As she is happily flying, Jewel notices Blu walking away sadly]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': Hey, where you going? ''[Blu ignores her and keeps on walking]'' Blu? ''[Blu stops walking]'' Blu, what's wrong?<br />
:'''Blu''': Nothing. Everything's perfect. You'll be off to the rain forest. I'll be back with Linda. Just like we planned.<br />
:'''Jewel''': I...<br />
:''[Nico and Pedro fly down towards them]''<br />
:'''Nico''': Hey, birds! Stop yappin' and start flappin'! Let's go!<br />
:'''Jewel''': I...I...I guess I thought maybe...<br />
:'''Blu''': What? That you...you'd come to Minnesota? ''[Jewel just looks at him]'' Great, I guess I... I'll knit you a scarf.<br />
:'''Jewel''': No, that's not what I meant.<br />
:'''Blu''': Look Jewel, I can't spend my life walking around following you wherever you're going.<br />
:'''Jewel''': Hey, it's not my fault you don't fly.<br />
:'''Pedro:''' ''[to Nico as they watch Blu and Jewel argue]'' Awkward.<br />
:'''Rafael:''' ''[to Blu and Jewel]'' ''[as he notices Blu and Jewel starting to argue]'' Okay, okay. You know what? It's just good. Just clear the air. Just be completely honest with each other.<br />
:'''Blu''': You want honesty? ''[to Rafael and Jewel]'' Fine, fine, I can be honest. I don't belong here. In fact, I never wanted to even come here in the first place. ''[stammers]'' And... and... and you know what? I hate samba.<br />
:''[Jewel and Rafael gasps and Nico starts crying into Pedro's wing]''<br />
:'''Pedro''': Hey! That's a little too far.<br />
:'''Nico''': Make the mean bird take it back.<br />
:'''Blu''': Yeah, I said it. Every song sounds exactly the same. ''[sings]'' Tico, taco ya-ya-ya. Tico, taco ya-ya-ya! ''[groans]'' I'm tico-taco out of here.<br />
:'''Jewel''': ''[angrily]'' Fine! See you around, pet! ''[starts flying away from Blu]''<br />
:'''Rafael''': No, no. Wait, wait, wait. Come back! You belong together. You are Juliet to his Romeo! Sure, they both die at the end. But, you get my point! Oh, young love. Always so melodramatic. ''[to Nico and Pedro]'' All right, boys. Go after her. ''[starts heading over to Blu]'' Blu! Come back here, come on!<br />
:'''Luiz''': Yeah! I'm ready for Carnival! Who wants to ride in my... fruit? You left without me. That's messed up. ''[slurps]''<br />
:'''Pedro''': ''[panting]'' Jewel! Jewel!<br />
:'''Nico''': Wait up!<br />
:'''Jewel''': ''[trembling exhale]'' ''[sniffles]'' ''[sighs]'' ''[gasps]''<br />
:''[Nigel catches Jewel as she's flying]''<br />
:'''Nigel''': ''[catches Jewel as she is flying]'' Going somewhere, pretty bird?<br />
:'''Jewel''': Oh, yeah. I was just on my way to claw your eyes out! ''[punches Nigel in the face; Nico and Pedro see Nigel get a hold of Jewel]''<br />
:'''Nigel''': Temper. Temper. Now come along, my dear. We're going to a parade. And everybody loves a parade! ''[flies away with Jewel]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': Let go of me!<br />
:'''Pedro''': ''[as he, along with Nico, watch Nigel take Jewel by force]'' ''[as they watch Nigel take Jewel by force]'' Hey! Get back here! Ain't nobody mess with a friend of Pedro. I ain't havin' it! It's on! ''[starts punching the air]''<br />
:'''Nico''': What are you-- on?! Did you see the talons on that guy?<br />
:'''Pedro''': "Talons? Maybe, it's on next time.''[he and Nico turn and fly away]'' '''RALFIEEEE!'''<br />
:'''Nico''': Blu! Help!<br />
:'''Pedro''': Help!<br />
:''[Cut on Blu walking home, with Rafael following him]''<br />
:'''Blu:''' Rafael, quit following me. You're going in the wrong direction. Isn't Carnaval that way?<br />
:'''Rafael:''' I'm not going to Carnaval. No, I'm going home.<br />
:'''Blu:''' But I thought you loved Carnaval.<br />
:'''Rafael:''' I do. But I love my family much more. And that's a choice I made with this. ''[points to Blu's heart]'' Not with this. ''[points to Blu's head (or brain) meanwhile, Nico and Pedro approach Blu and Rafael]''<br />
:'''Nico and Pedro''': Blu! Blu! Hey, Blu! Blu!<br />
:'''Pedro''': I was flying, and then I saw this big cockatoo!<br />
:'''Nico''': With big ninja taloons!<br />
:'''Pedro''': This cockatoo was ugly.<br />
:'''Nico''': Yeah...<br />
:'''Pedro''': Anyways, that's not the point.<br />
:'''Nico''': And then Jewel was there, and he snatched Jewel up, like, he snatched her up! And then he was, like "You're comin' with me, you little princess?"<br />
:'''Pedro''': And Jewel was, like... ''[imitating kicks and punches]'' "I ain't your princess, Leave me alone." And I was, like, "What?"<br />
:'''Nico''': Then he was, like, "What?"<br />
:'''Blu''': Stop! Just tell me what happened.<br />
:'''Pedro''': He got Jewel, man!<br />
:'''Both''': And he's taking her to the parade.<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[gasp]'' This is all my fault. Let's fly.<br />
:''[Blu rides on Luiz]''<br />
:'''Luiz''': Carnaval, here we come!<br />
:'''Nico:''' ''[grunts, chuckles]'' Hey, dog, I'm drowning back here!<br />
:'''Luiz:''' You will get wet on this ride! Ha-ha!<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Marcel''': Come on, come on, come on. Where are these guys? ''[laughs]''Yes! Nice! Very nice.<br />
:'''Tipa''': ''[calls]'' Marcel! Yoo-hoo! Marcel! ''[clucking like a chicken]''<br />
:'''Marcel''': Oh, boy.<br />
:'''Tipa''': We're a chicken! Cluck, cluck! ''[chuckling, laughing]''(He dresses up as egg) Come on, Fernando, dance! ''[clucking]''<br />
:'''Marcel''': ''[groans]'' Oh, idiots.<br />
:'''Linda''': Excuse me. Um... ''[clears throat]'' Coming through. Watch your feet.<br />
:'''Guy''': Hey!<br />
:'''Linda''': Whoops. Sorry.<br />
:'''Gate Guard''': Go ahead. Come in. Wait. Stop, please. Performers only.<br />
:'''Tulio''': Huh? ''[gasps softy]'' ''[chuckles quietly]'' Wow! ''[dressed in a macaw costume; looks in a mirror and makes bird noises]'' Cyanopsitta Spixi. ''[squawking]'' Oh! Oh! ''[squawking]''<br />
:'''Linda''': Tulio!<br />
:'''Tulio''': Oh! ''[nervous chuckle]'' Linda. I was just, uh...<br />
:''["Say You, Say Me" plays]''<br />
:'''Linda''': I look ridiculous, don't I?<br />
:'''Tulio and Linda''': Ooh!<br />
:'''Tulio''': ''[groaning]''<br />
:'''Linda''': ''[chuckles]'' Sorry.<br />
:'''Tulio''': ''[giggles]'' Oh! The parade, it's about to start.<br />
:'''Gate Guard''': Okay. Boa noite. Go ahead.<br />
:'''Tulio''': ''[whispers]'' Okay, just follow my lead. Act naturally. ''[squawking]''<br />
:'''Linda''': Oh, uh...<br />
:'''Linda and Tulio''': ''[squawking]'' ''[squawking continues]''<br />
:'''Linda''': Ooh...!<br />
:'''Tulio''': Are you okay?<br />
:'''Linda''': Yeah.<br />
:'''Tulio''': Come on. Blu?<br />
:'''Linda''': Blu?<br />
:'''Tulio''': ''[squawks]''<br />
:'''Linda''': Blu? Blu?<br />
:'''Samba School Director''': ''[speaking Portuguese]''<br />
:'''Linda''': What? W-Wait, wait, no, no, no. I am looking for a blue bird. B-Birdo?<br />
:'''Samba School Director''': Que e que e "birdo"?<br />
:'''Linda''': Birdo, yes.<br />
:'''Samba School Director''': ''[continues in Portuguese]''<br />
:'''Linda''': Oh. Okay. Wait! What are you doing? Tulio! Hey! Let me out!<br />
:'''Tulio''': ''[squawking]'' ''[coughing]'' Whoa, whoa!<br />
:'''Linda''': Tulio! ''[gasps]'' Oh... this is not good. This is not good. This is... Cheese and sprinkles.<br />
:'''Crowd''': ''[singing samba song, percussion dress up parade booming]''<br />
:'''Linda''': Okay, you can bring me down now! I think we're done here!<br />
:'''Tipa''': ''[In rhythm]'' Hey! Hey! ''[grunting in rhythm]''<br />
:'''Crowd''': Boo! ''[shouting]''<br />
:'''Tipa''': Ha-ha! I think they like my moves! Ha-ha! Hey. Keep dancing egg-boy!<br />
:'''Nigel''': One down, and one to go.<br />
:'''Jewel''': You'll never find him. He's already gone.<br />
:'''Nigel''': Oh, I don't need to find him. He'll find you.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Luiz''': Ha-ha! This is the spit! ''[as they arrive at carnival to find Jewel]'' Yeah, baby! Now I can get my freak on!<br />
:'''Blu''': Luiz, please! Rescue first, freak later. ''[gasps]'' Come on!<br />
:'''Luiz''': Out of my way, people!<br />
:'''Guy''': Whoa, whoa, whoa!<br />
:'''Man''': ''[gasps]''<br />
:'''Rafael''': All right, guys, I'll fly ahead and look for Jewel. Hello, ladies.<br />
:'''Pedro''': Mr. Big Nose! Hold up!<br />
:'''Linda''': Uh...<br />
:'''Samba School Director''': Rebola, rebola, rebola!<br />
:'''Linda''': What?<br />
:'''Women''': Rebola!<br />
:'''Tulio''': Linda! Excuse me. Excuse me. Linda! ''[gasps]'' Linda! ''[speaking Portuguese]''<br />
:'''Samba School Director''': Rebola!<br />
:'''Linda''': In English!<br />
:'''Tulio''': Linda, Linda! You've got to shake your tushy!<br />
:'''Linda''': No! We don't shake our tushies in Minnesota!<br />
:'''Samba School Director''': ''[groans]''<br />
:'''Luiz''': ''[barking]''<br />
:'''Women''': ''[yelling]''<br />
:'''Luiz''': Hot dog! Coming through!<br />
:'''Linda''': ''[grunts]'' ''[gasps]'' Blu!<br />
:'''Luiz''': ''[barking]''<br />
:'''Linda''': Tulio! Tulio! I saw Blu!<br />
:'''Tulio''': What?<br />
:'''Samba School Director''': Rebola! Rebola!<br />
:'''Linda''': Hold on, Blu! I'm coming for you!<br />
:'''Tulio''': ''[gasps]'' Meu Deus! ''[My Gosh!]''<br />
:'''Linda''': Whoa! Oh! Oh! Blu! Blu!<br />
:'''Blu''': Linda! Linda? Wait!<br />
:'''All''': ''[gasping]''<br />
:'''Rafael''': ''[Blu and Linda have just noticed each other at the carnival]'' Blu! Blu! We found her!<br />
:'''Pedro''': She's on some, like, weird [[w:chicken|chicken]] float.<br />
:'''Rafael''': Come on!<br />
:'''Blu''': Let's go get Jewel.<br />
:'''Linda''': Wait! Blu! Where are you going?<br />
:'''Man''': Ow!<br />
:'''Men''': ''[grunting]''<br />
:'''Linda''': Whoo!<br />
:'''Man''': Aha!<br />
:'''Linda''': ''[laughs]'' Ahh!<br />
:'''Crowd''': ''[cheering]''<br />
:'''Samba School Director''': ''[shouts in Portuguese]''<br />
:'''Linda''': I saw Blu! He's riding on a bulldog!<br />
:'''Tulio''': What?!<br />
:'''Luiz''': ''[barking]'' ''[panting]''<br />
:'''Blu''': There they are, that's the float!<br />
:'''Luiz''': Whoo! That float is a crime in itself! Oh!<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[grunting]''<br />
:'''Man''': ''[shouting in Portuguese]''<br />
:'''Luiz''': ''[snarling]''<br />
:'''Linda''': There he is!<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[grunts]'' ''[in the smugglers' float]'' ''[quietly]'' Hey, Jewel?<br />
:'''Jewel''': Blu!<br />
:'''Blu''': I'm gonna let you out of here.<br />
:'''Jewel''': No, no. You can't be here. You have to go. Nigel is...<br />
:''[Suddenly Nigel attacks Blu and throws him in a cage]''<br />
:'''Nigel:''' Hello, pretty bird. So kind of you to join our little soiree.<br />
:'''Blu:''' Oh, come on. You really think I came alone? I got three of the roughest, meanest, craziest birds in all of Rio right behind me.<br />
:'''Pedro:''' Woo-hoo! You hear that, guys?<br />
:''[Blu sees that Nigel has replaced Rafael, Nico, & Pedro in a cage nearby]''<br />
:'''Pedro:''' We're saved! That's right! That's right. That's right.<br />
:'''Nico:''' Uh... I think he means us.<br />
:'''Pedro:''' Oh.<br />
:'''Nigel:''' ''[sighs]'' Ah, love. It's such a powerful and stupid thing.<br />
:'''Marcel:''' ''[Chuckles]'' Yes! Well done Nigel.<br />
:'''Women''': ''[gasps]''<br />
:'''Linda''': Oh! Oh! Out of the way! Sorry. Wait! Wait!<br />
:'''Tipa''': Whoo-hoo! We actually made it! Hey, Marcel! Can we do this again next year? Please? Please? Could I drive next year, too?<br />
:'''Linda''': Wait! Come back! ''[panting]'' Get in!<br />
:'''Luiz''': ''[on top of a carnival float]'' I don't know how I got up here, but I ain't never comin' down! Ah-ah! Woo-hoo! ''[starts dancing]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Tipa''': ''[to a guilty Fernando as he gives the cage with Rafael, Pedro and Nico in it to him]'' Come on, kid.<br />
:'''Fernando''': ''[to Blu and Jewel]'' I'm gonna get you guys out of here. ''[gasps when Nigel comes down and screeches at him]''<br />
:'''Marcel''': What do you think you're doing?<br />
:'''Fernando''': Uh, nothing.<br />
:'''Marcel''': You shouldn't have done that. ''[Fernando looks sadly back at Jewel as Marcel drags him away, then bites him on the hand to escape]'' Now, come on. ''[grunts]'' Ow! ''[groans]''<br />
:'''Fernando''': ''[panting]''<br />
:'''Marcel''': ''[to Armando]'' Just forget him. Get the birds!<br />
:'''Tulio''': They're getting away.<br />
:'''Linda''': We'll see about that.<br />
:''[The parade float crashes thru the barb wired gates]''<br />
:'''Tulio''': Ahh! Watch out!<br />
:'''Marcel''': We did it, boys!<br />
:'''Armando''': Yes!<br />
:'''Tipa''': Yes, we did it! Ha, ha! We're the best! Ha, ha.<br />
:'''Marcel''': ''[spots the scarlet macaw parade float in front of them]'' Is that. A float?<br />
:'''Tipa''': Wow! Look at the detail on that thing.<br />
:'''Armando''': Ooh!<br />
:'''Marcel''': ''[to Tipa]'' Pull up, you idiot! Pull up!<br />
:''[The plane pulls up as they all scream in which the Plane damages the sun part of the scarlet macaw parade float]''<br />
:'''All''': ''[screaming]''<br />
:'''Tulio''': ''[screams]''<br />
:'''Linda ''[sobbing]''''': Blu! Blu! Oh, Blu. ''[sobbing continues]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Rafael''': Sorry, Eva, I'm not gonna be home for dinner.<br />
:''[Rafael, Pedro and Nico soon notice the strap getting hooked onto the fire extinguisher]''<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[grunts]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': What are you doing?<br />
:'''Blu''': I'm gonna pop this cage open like a soda can. ''[grunting as he hits the side of the cage four times to get the fire extinguisher to fall to the ground, popping it open]''<br />
:'''Nico''': Now, that's popping!<br />
:'''Blu''': Hurry. We gotta help the others.<br />
:'''Pretty Bird''': I'm a pretty bird, I'm a pretty bird. Who's a pretty bird? I'm a pretty bird. Pretty bird, I'm a pretty bird. ''[hysterical laugh]''<br />
:'''Nico''': Come on!<br />
:'''Pedro''': Yeah!<br />
:'''Rafael''': Hurry up, guys!<br />
:'''Trapped Bird''': I'm out! ''[laughs]''<br />
:'''Marcel''': ''[grunting]''<br />
:'''Bat''': Ah! The light!<br />
:'''Blu''': Go! Go! Go!<br />
:'''Pedro''':'' ''Freedom!<br />
:'''All''': ''[yelling and cheering]''<br />
:'''Bird''': Geronimo!<br />
:''[Birds & parrots cheers]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': Come on! Come on! We need to get out!<br />
:'''Blu''': Hey, wait, wait, wait! Wait! ''[pants]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': Um, it's okay. Hey, it's okay. We'll figure this out together. Right? Aah!<br />
:''[after Blu and Jewel have released all the other caged birds, Nigel attacks Blu]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': Let him go!<br />
:''[Nigel hits Jewel away she falls against the wall of the plane and a cage lands on her wing, bruising and injuring it]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': Ow!<br />
:'''Blu''': Jewel!<br />
:'''Jewel''': Ow! My wing.<br />
:'''Nigel''': Oh, pity. Now we have two useless, birds. ''[laughing]''<br />
:''[Blu grabs hold of the hose on the fire extinguisher and attaches it to Nigel's leg]''<br />
:'''Nigel''': Huh?<br />
:'''Blu''': Not cool, man. Not cool!<br />
:''[Blu releases the pressure on the fire extinguisher and Nigel bursts out of the plane]''<br />
:'''Nigel''': ''[screaming]'' Uh-oh. ''[screams]''<br />
:'''Tipa''': Ahh! We're going down! Huh? Okay, okay.<br />
:'''Both''': Rock, paper, scissors...<br />
:'''Marcel''': Chute! Ha, ha! Hasta la vista, losers!<br />
:'''Armando''': [Last Words] Hey! Wait for us! ''[yelling]''<br />
:'''Tipa''':[Last Words] Cannonball!<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Jewel''': ''[grunting]'' Blu!<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[yells]'' No!<br />
:'''Jewel''': Aah!<br />
:'''Blu''': ''[gasps]''<br />
:''[Blu jumps out out of the plane and grabs hold of Jewel in the air]''<br />
:'''Blu''': Aah!<br />
:'''Jewel''': Blu! You're crazy! What are you doing?<br />
:'''Blu''': I'm not gonna let you go! We're chained to each other birds, remember?<br />
:''[Jewel kisses Blu, heartbeat heard]''<br />
:'''Jewel''': Blu, you're flying!<br />
:'''Blu''': Yeah! Woo-hoo! I'm flying! I'm really flying! You're right! I'm not an ostrich! I'm not an ostrich!<br />
:'''Jewel''': Whoo-hoo! What--? Aah!<br />
:'''Blu''': Whoa! Wh-wh-wh-whoa! ''[chuckles]''<br />
:'''Boy''': Whoa! Dad! Look!<br />
:'''Tipa''': ''[Whimpers]''<br />
:'''Marcel''': ''[Groans Last Words]'' Idiots.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[cuts to the abandoned airport runway where a still sad, Linda, Tulio and Fernando are sitting on an airplane aileron wing]''<br />
:'''Fernando''': ''[spots Blu and Jewel and points out to them]'' Linda!<br />
:'''Linda''': Blu? ''[gasps in joy]'' It's Blu! Look, Tulio, it's Blu! And he's flying. My Blu is flying! He's flying. ''[gasps]''<br />
:''[Linda, Tulio and Fernando run towards Blu as he safely lowers Jewel to the ground. Jewel squawks weakly as Blu looks at Jewel, and Linda bends over and gasps when she sees that Jewel's left wing is injured as Blu looks at her]''<br />
:'''Tulio''': ''[to Jewel]'' Here, let me see. Don't worry. I'll take care of you.<br />
:''[scene then cuts to the jungle on a sanctuary tower where Jewel's wing is done healing and the bandage has just been taken off, Tulio then lets Jewel go and she flies off towards the jungle]''<br />
:''[Linda and Blu both imitate booming explosion, then Blu flies over towards the jungle with Jewel]''<br />
:'''Linda''': That's my big, brave boy.<br />
:''[Linda watches as Blu and Jewel fly away towards the jungle]''<br />
:''["Real in Rio" Reprise plays]''<br />
:'''Luiz''': ''[Last line, on a hang-glider]'' I love you, Rio!<br />
:'''Nigel''': ''[growls]'' Ahh! ''[gasps in embarrasment]''<br />
:'''Mauro''': ''[He holding the camera laughs and points at Nigel grabs leave gasps and screaming photographs]''<br />
:'''[The End]'''<br />
<br />
== Taglines ==<br />
* Join the party!<br />
* Love at first flight<br />
* Drool meets cool<br />
* Party fowl<br />
* If looks could kill<br />
* 1 out of every 6 is afraid of flying.<br />
* He's going to the wildest, most magical place on Earth... home.<br />
<br />
==Voice Cast==<br />
* '''[[w:Anne Hathaway|Anne Hathaway]]''' — Jewel <br />
* '''[[w:Jesse Eisenberg|Jesse Eisenberg]]''' — Blu <br />
* '''[[w:George Lopez|George Lopez]]''' — Rafael <br />
* '''[[w:will.i.am|will.i.am]]''' — Pedro <br />
* '''[[w:Jamie Foxx|Jamie Foxx]]''' — Nico <br />
* '''[[w:Tracy Morgan|Tracy Morgan]]''' — Luiz <br />
* '''[[w:Jemaine Clement|Jemaine Clement]]''' — Nigel <br />
* '''[[w:Leslie Mann|Leslie Mann]]''' — Linda Gunderson<br />
** '''Sofia Scarpa Saldanha''' (young)<br />
* '''[[w:Rodrigo Santoro|Rodrigo Santoro]]''' — Tulio Monteiro/[[w:Soccer|Soccer]] [[w:Announcer|Announcer]]<br />
* '''[[w:Jake T. Austin|Jake T. Austin]]''' — Fernando<br />
* '''[[w:Bernardo de Paula|Bernardo de Paula]]''' — Sylvio/Kipo (voice)<br />
* '''[[w:Wanda Sykes|Wanda Sykes]]''' — Cole<br />
* '''[[w:Jane Lynch|Jane Lynch]]''' — Alice<br />
* '''[[w:Bebel Gilberto|Bebel Gilberto]]''' — Eva<br />
* '''[[Thomas F. Wilson|Thomas F. Wilson]]''' — Trapped Bird/Screaming [[w:Hang glider|Hang glider]]<br />
* '''[[Tim Nordquist|Tim Norndquist]]''' — Other Hang Glider<br />
* '''[[w:Cindy Slattery|Cindy Slattery]]''' — Neurotic Bird<br />
* '''[[w:Jeffrey Garcia|Jeff Garcia]]''' — Tipa/[[w:Bat|Bat]]<br />
* '''[[w:Karen Disher|Karen Disher]]''' — Mother Bird<br />
* '''[[w:Francisco Ramos|Francesco Ramos]]''' — Mauro A.K.A: Lead [[w:Marmoset|Marmoset]]<br />
* '''[[w:Miriam Wallen|Miriam Wallen]]''' — Little Green Bird<br />
* '''[[wːJustine Warwick]]''' — Scaredy Bird<br />
* '''[[w:Carlos Ponce|Carlos Ponce]]''' — Marcel <br />
* '''[[wːDavi Vieira| Davi Vieira]]''' — Armando<br />
* '''[[w:Phil Miler|Phil Miler]]''' — Avary intern, [[w:Waiter|1st Waiter]]<br />
* '''[[w:Carlos Saldanha|Carlos Saldanha]]''' — [[w:Waiter|2nd Waiter]]<br />
* '''[[w:Renato D'Angelo|Renato D'Angelo]]''' — Policeman<br />
* '''[[w:Kelly Keaton|Kelly Keaton]]''' — [[w:Bookstore|Bookstore]] Customer/Lady [[w:Tourist|Tourist]]<br />
* '''[[w:Judah Friedlander|Judah Friedlander]]''' — Man Tourist<br />
* '''[[w:Ester Dean|Ester Dean]]''' — Boy in [[w:Gondola Lift|Gondola]]<br />
* '''[[w:Carlos de Oliveira|Carlos de Oliveira]]''' — Gate Guard<br />
* '''[[w:Sergio Mendes|Sergio Mendes]]''' — [[w:Samba School|Samba School]] Director<br />
* '''[[w:Jason Fricchione|Jason Fricchione]]''' — [[w:Truck driver|Truck driver]]<br />
<br />
==See also ==<br />
*''[[Rio 2]]''<br />
*''[[Rio 2#Sequel|Rio 3]]''<br />
<br />
== External links ==<br />
{{wikipedia|Rio (2011 film)}}<br />
<br />
{{Authority control}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:2011 computer-animated films]]<br />
[[Category:2011 American animated films]]<br />
[[Category:American 3D animated films]]<br />
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]<br />
[[Category:American animated feature films]]<br />
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]<br />
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]<br />
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]<br />
[[Category:American children's animated musical films]]<br />
[[Category:American animated romance films]]<br />
[[Category:Films about parrots and macaws]]<br />
[[Category:Films set in Rio de Janeiro (city)]]<br />
[[Category:Films set in Brazil]]<br />
[[Category:Films directed by Carlos Saldanha]]<br />
[[Category:Films about birds]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films about couples]]<br />
[[Category:Films about animal cruelty]]<br />
[[Category:Films about animal rights]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films about abduction]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films set in South America]]<br />
[[Category:Blue Sky Studios]]</div>~2026-44937-18https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Fictional_last_words_in_The_Swan_Princess_media&diff=3992777Fictional last words in The Swan Princess media2026-08-20T22:20:23Z<p>~2026-44937-18: </p>
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<div>{{mergeto|The Swan Princess<!-- all from a single film -->}}<br />
**Source: ''[[The Swan Princess]]'' (1994)<br />
*'''Only if you defeat me.'''<br />
**Who: Rothbart<br />
**Source: ''[[The Swan Princess]]'' (1994)<br />
**Note: Rothbart transforms into a Bat, and Prince Derek killed him by shooting an arrow bow quiver hurt into his heart and sent him plunging he splash into Swan Lake, of colors magic blast exploding. Striking pain his chest?<br />
*'''Bye-bye, Birdie!'''<br />
**Who: Knuckles <br />
**Source: ''[[The Swan Princess: Escape from Castle Mountain]]'' (1997)<br />
**Note: Before Derek cuts the rope holding the gondola up to swing on it and sent Knuckles falling into the lava.<br />
*'''NOOOO!!!!!!!'''<br />
**Who: Clavius<br />
**Source: ''[[The Swan Princess: Escape from Castle Mountain]]'' (1997) <br />
**Note: as the orb from the Forbidden Arts crashes onto the floor and causes the entire mountain to erupt massive amounts of molten lava. The eruption kills Clavius while Prince Derek, Princess Odette and the others escape using Clavius' hot air balloon. <br />
*'''Traitor!''' <br />
**Who: Zelda<br />
**Source: ''[[The Swan Princess III: The Mystery of the Enchanted Treasure]]'' (1998)<br />
**Note: Before Prince Derek breaks her wand and pushes her into the fire trap she created to imprison Princess Odette in and destroyed her completely.<br />
<br />
[[Category:Fictional last words|Swan Princess]]</div>~2026-44937-18https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=The_Incredibles&diff=3992717The Incredibles2026-08-20T21:30:06Z<p>~2026-44937-18: </p>
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<div>{{italic title}}<br />
[[File:The Incredibles logo.svg|thumb|Showtime!]]<br />
'''''[[w:The Incredibles|The Incredibles]]''''' is a [[w:2004 in film|2004]] [[w:Academy Award|Academy Award]]-winning [[w:computer animation|computer animated]] feature film in which, while trying to lead a quiet suburban life, a family of undercover superheroes are forced into action to save the world. '''''[[w:Incredibles 2|Incredibles 2]]''''' was a sequel in [[w:2018 in film|2018]], accompanied with a short film by ''[[w:Turning Red|Turning Red]]'' director Domee Shi, ''Bao''.<br />
:''Directed and written by [[Brad Bird]].''<br />
:''Music by [[w:Michael Giacchino|Michael Giacchino]].''<br />
{{center/s}}'''Save The Day.'''[[#Taglines|taglines]]{{center/e}}<br />
<br />
== "Bob" Parr ==<br />
[[File:Incredibles - Disney Stars and Motor Cars Parade.jpg|thumb|No matter how many times you save the [[world]], it always manages to get back in jeopardy again. Sometimes I just want it to stay saved! You know?! For a little bit. I feel like the maid: "I just cleaned up this mess! Can we keep it clean for, for 10 minutes?! Please?!"]]<br />
* ''[repeated phrase]'' Showtime!<br />
* Every superhero has a [[secret]] [[identity]]. I don't know a single one who doesn't. I mean, who wants the pressure of being super [[all]] the [[time]]?<br />
* No matter how many times you save the [[world]], it always manages to get back in jeopardy again. Sometimes I just want it to stay saved! You know?! For a little bit. I feel like the maid: "I just cleaned up this mess! Can we keep it clean for, for 10 minutes?! Please?!"<br />
* Sometimes, I think I just like the [[simple]] life, you know, relax a little and raise a [[family]].<br />
* Heavyweight problems need heavyweight solutions.<br />
* '''RELEASE ME.''' '''''NOW!!!'''''<br />
<br />
== Helen Parr ==<br />
[[File:Disney on Ice - The Incredibles.jpg|thumb|Settle down? Are you kidding? I'm at the top of my game! I'm right up there with the big dogs! Girls, come on. Leave the saving of the world to the men? I don't think so! I don't think so.]]<br />
* Of course I have a secret identity. ''[about her super-suit]'' Can you see me in this at the supermarket? Come on! Who wants to go shopping as Elastigirl? You know what I mean?<br />
* Brace yourselves! Everybody calm down! Now, I will tell you what we are not going to do. We're not gonna panic, and we're not gonna... '''''LOOK OUT!'''''<br />
* Settle down? Are you kidding? I'm at the top of my game! I'm right up there with the big dogs! Girls, come on. Leave the saving of the world to the men? I don't think so! I don't think so.<br />
* Remember the bad guys on those shows you used to watch on Saturday mornings? Well, these guys are not like those guys. They won't exercise restraint because you're children. They will kill you if they get the chance. Do ''not'' give them that chance.<br />
<br />
== Lucius ==<br />
[[File:Katsucon XX IMGP0239 (12576826285).jpg|thumb|Super-ladies, they're always trying to tell you their secret identity. Think it'll strengthen the [[relationship]] or something like that. I say, "Girl, I don't wanna ''[[know]]'' about your mild-mannered alter ego or anything like that." I mean, you tell me you're, uh, super-mega-ultra-lightning babe? That's all right with me. I'm good. I'm good.]]<br />
* Super-ladies, they're always trying to tell you their secret identity. Think it'll strengthen the [[relationship]] or something like that. I say, "Girl, I don't wanna ''[[know]]'' about your mild-mannered alter ego or anything like that." I mean, you tell me you're, uh, super-mega-ultra-lightning babe? That's all right with me. I'm good. I'm good.<br />
* I don't see anyone from the old days, Bob. Just you. And we're pushing our [[luck]] as it is.<br />
* It means ''it's hot!'' And I'm dehydrated, Bob!<br />
* There ''is'' no water in this air! What's your excuse, run out of muscle?<br />
* We look like bad guys! ''Incompetent'' bad guys!<br />
<br />
== Dash Parr ==<br />
* ''[After a huge explosion destroys the Parrs' house]'' Does this mean we have to move again?<br />
<br />
== Violet Parr ==<br />
* I ''[[feel]]'' different. Is different okay? <br />
<br />
== Syndrome ==<br />
[[File:Toicon-icon-fandom-adapt.svg|thumb|And when everyone's super... '''''No one will be.'''''<br />
]]<br />
[[File:Silver symbol (Dalton).svg|thumb|You can't count on ''anyone.'' Especially your heroes.]]<br />
* ''[After Elastigirl's plane is destroyed]'' Ah, you'll get over it. I seem to recall you prefer to… ”work alone”?<br />
* I knew you couldn't do it, even when you have nothing to lose. You're weak! And I've outgrown you.<br />
* It tore me apart, but I've learned an important lesson. You can't count on ''anyone.'' Especially your heroes.<br />
* ''[After Mr. Incredible begs him to stop the missiles from hitting Elastigirl's plane]'' Too late! 15 years too late.<br />
* ''[has just caught the entire Parr family]'' '''''WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! HEY, TIME OUT!''''' What have we here? Matching uniforms? ''[sees Helen]'' Oh, no... Elastigirl? You married Elastigirl?! ''[laughs, then looks at Violet and Dash]'' And got '''biz-zay'''! It's a whole family of Supers! Looks like I've hit the jackpot! ''[laughs, then says in a twangy accent]'' Oh, this is just too good!<br />
* I'll give them heroics. I'll show them the most spectacular heroics anyone's ever seen! And when I'm old and I've had my fun, I'll sell my inventions so that everyone can be superheroes. ''Everyone'' can be super! And when everyone's super... ''[walks away laughing before he talks in a remorseless tone]'' No one will be.<br />
* ''[freezes the Parr family as they barge into the house while holding a sleeping Jack-Jack; quietly]'' Shh. The baby is sleeping. ''[snickers sinisterly]'' You took away my future. I'm simply returning the favor. Don't worry, I'll be a good mentor. Supportive, encouraging. Everything you weren't! And in time, who knows, he might make a good sidekick.<br />
* ''[last words before his death]'' '''''THIS ISN'T THE END OF IT! I WILL GET YOUR SON EVENTUALLY! I'LL GET YOUR SON!''''' ''[laughs and gasps as he sees Mr. Incredible hurling his car into the air]'' Oh, no.<br />
<br />
== Mirage ==<br />
* ''[on message computer]'' The Supers aren't gone, Mr. Incredible. You're still here. You can still do great things. Or… you can listen to police scanners. Your choice. You have 24 hours to respond. Think about it. ''[fades out]''<br />
* ''[about Syndrome]'' He's attracted to [[power]]. So am I. It's a weakness we share.<br />
* ''[having had enough of Syndrome's evil after he taunted Mr Incredible with his family's apparent demise]'' Next time you gamble, bet your own life.<br />
<br />
== Edna Mode ==<br />
[[File:Edna Mode and Mrs. Incredible at Tokyo DisneySea in June 2024 (2).jpg|thumb|I never look back, darling. It distracts from the [[now]]!]]<br />
* I never look back, darling. It distracts from the [[now]]!<br />
* You will show him you remember that he is Mr. Incredible, and you will remind him who ''you'' are!<br />
* Do you remember Thunderhead? Tall, storm powers? Nice man. Good with kids. November 15th of '58! All was well, another day saved, when... his cape snagged on a missile fin.<br />
* Stratogale! April 23rd, '57! Cape caught in a jet turbine!<br />
* Meta Man, express elevator! Dynaguy, snag on takeoff! Splashdown, sucked into a vortex! NO CAPES!<br />
<br />
== Underminer ==<br />
* Behold: The Underminer! I am always beneath you, but [[nothing]] is beneath me! I hereby declare [[war]] on [[peace]] and [[happiness]]! Soon, all will tremble before me!<br />
<br />
== Dialogue ==<br />
:''[First lines; The movie begins with a colored backing. A magnificent, masked man in a black-and-blue superhero suit is sitting in a chair: mid-twenties, ruggedly handsome and powerfully built, he fiddles with a clip-on microphone. We're watching a faded documentary, shot in 16mm. A title fades in, identifying the man as [[w:Mr. Incredibles|Mr. Incredible]]]''<br />
:'''Mr. Incredible''': Is this on?<br />
:'''Interviewer''': ''[off-screen]'' That’s fine.<br />
:'''Mr. Incredible''': ''[muttering to himself]'' I can break through walls, I just can’t…<br />
:'''Interviewer''': ''[off-screen]'' That’s fine.<br />
:'''Mr. Incredible''': I can’t get this on.<br />
:'''Interviewer''': ''[off-screen]'' So, Mr. Incredible, do you have a secret identity?<br />
:'''Mr. Incredible''': Every superhero has a secret identity. I don’t know a single one who doesn’t. Who wants the pressure of being super all the time?<br />
:''[Resume documentary: Another striking, masked superhero, a woman this time. A title identifies her as [[w:Elastigirl|Elastigirl]]]''<br />
:''[On-screen text: Walt Disney Pictures Presents]''<br />
:'''Elastigirl''': Of course I have a secret identity. Can you see me in this at the supermarket? Come on. Who’d wanna go shopping as Elastigirl, y’know what I mean?<br />
:''[Resume documentary: Another striking, superhero with a visor, a man. A title identifies him as Frozone]''<br />
:''[On-screen text: A Pixar Animation Studios Film]''<br />
:'''Frozone''': Super Ladies, they’re always tryna tell you their secret identity. Think it’ll strengthen the relationship or somethin' like that. I said, "Girl, I don’t wanna '''''know''''' about your mild-mannered alter ego." or anything like that. I mean, you tell me you’re a super-mega-ultra-lightnin'-babe, that’s alright with me. I’m good. I’m good.<br />
:'''Mr. Incredible''': No matter how many times you save the world, it always manages to get back in jeopardy again. Sometimes I just want it to stay saved, you know? For a little bit. I feel like the maid. I just cleaned up this mess. Can we keep it clean for ten minutes?<br />
:'''Interviewer:''' I could get to that point.<br />
:'''Mr. Incredible:''' Please?<br />
:'''Interviewer:''' Wait, no, don’t get up. We’re not finished.<br />
:'''Mr. Incredible:''' Sometimes I think I’d just like the simple life, you know? Relax a little and raise a family.<br />
:'''Elastigirl:''' Settle down? Are you kidding? I’m at the top of my '''''game'''''! I’m right up there with the big dogs! Girls, come on. Leave the saving of the world to the '''''men'''''? I don’t think so. I don’t think so. ''[fades to black. On-screen Text: The Incredibles. Sirens wail as lights flash, we're in the middle of a classic car chase: A police car in hot pursuit of another car driven by armed bank robbers. The robber riding shotgun primes his sub-machine gun and unloads on the cop car, which swerves into oncoming traffic to avoid the hail of bullets. Bob Parr, a dashing, golden-haired man in his thirties listens to his radio. If he looks familiar, it's because he is the same man we saw earlier: Mr. Incredible, minus the mask and super-suit. Suddenly the music is interrupted by an announcement]''<br />
:'''Police Radio:''' We interrupt for an important bulletin. A deadly high-speed pursuit between police and armed gunmen is underway, traveling northbound on San Pablo Avenue.<br />
:''[Bob presses a button. The radio flips: converting to a screen filled with a moving aerial map of the city streets. He selects "Isolate Pursuit". Two red dots appear, moving quickly over the map. He makes a hard right turn. Looks at the screen. A tiny "i" icon (Mr. Incredible's logo) closes in on the two red dots. He checks his watch]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Yeah, I’ve got time.<br />
:''[He presses another button: "Auto-drive" and selects "Merge Pursuit". Bob takes his hands off the wheel and a rapid series of automated actions begin: the seat back drops flat; the passenger seat folds against the window as the driver's seat slides to the center. Bob raises his arms as metal bands lock around his waist, then separate, sliding apart toward his head and his toes, removing his clothes to reveal his slick, brightly colored Mr. Incredible super-suit underneath. He presses another button: the car's exterior converts into the coolest retro-futuristic vehicle ever seen: The Incredi-Bile. Mr. Incredible looks up: Through the windshield we see an old lady waving him down]''<br />
:'''Old Lady:''' Mr. Incredible. Um, Mr. Incredible…<br />
:''[Mr. Incredible pulls up. His window whooshes open]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' What is it, ma’am?<br />
:'''Old Lady:''' ''[pointing to tree]'' My cat, Squeaker, won’t come down.<br />
:''[Mr. Incredible glances at his screen: the pursuit is headed his way. He thinks, making some quick calculations, then]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Certainly, ma’am! But I suggest you stand clear. There could be trouble.<br />
:'''Old Lady:''' No, no. He’s quite tame.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Let go now! ''[cat yowls]''<br />
:''[The cop car pulls back in behind the robbers' car. The cops are firing now and closing in. Mr. Incredible and the cat tree. Nervously checking the pursuit on his video screen, Mr. Incredible rips the tree out of the ground. He tips it, leaning it across to the old lady just as the car chase squeals into view at the end of the block. Mr. Incredible sees this and hastily shakes the tree, trying to dislodge Squeaker. The car chase. The cars swerve into view now, bordering the park that Mr. Incredible is in. Mr. Incredible sees them and shakes Squeaker harder. Chase cars close in. Mr. Incredible. Car chase. Squeaker. Chase. Squeaker, one final shake: Squeaker drops into the Old Lady's hands. Mr. Incredible raises the tree up and slams it down on the hood of the crooks' car, squashing it like a bug. Mr. Incredible tamps down the loose dirt at the base of the freshly replanted tree and smiles at his admirers]''<br />
:'''Police Officer #1:''' Thank you, Mr. Incredible. You’ve done it again.<br />
:'''Police Officer #2:''' Yeah, you’re the best.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' No, I’m just here to help.<br />
:'''Police Radio:''' Attention all units. We have a tour bus robbery…<br />
:''[Mr. Incredible frowns and looks at his watch. He makes a calculation, muttering to himself]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Tour bus robbery. I’ve still got time. Officers. Ma’am. Squeaker.<br />
:''[Mr. Incredible jumps into the Incredi-Bile and is startled to find a pudgy kid wearing a mask and a homemade superhero costume sitting in the passenger seat. This is Buddy Pine aka IncrediBoy]''<br />
:'''Buddy (IncrediBoy):''' ''[first words]'' Cool! Ready for take-off!<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' What the…? Who are you supposed to be?<br />
:'''Buddy (IncrediBoy):''' Well, I’m lncrediBoy.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' What? No. You’re that kid from the fan club. ''[stammering]'' Brophy-Br-Brody-Bu-Buddy! ''[sternly]'' Buddy.<br />
:'''Buddy (IncrediBoy):''' My '''''name''''' is IncrediBoy.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Look, I’ve been nice, I’ve stood for photos, signed every scrap of paper you pushed at me, but this is…<br />
:'''Buddy (IncrediBoy):''' No, you don’t have to worry about training me. I know all your moves, your crime fighting style, favorite catch phrases, everything! I’m your number one fan! ''[The passenger door whooshes open and IncrediBoy is ejected from the car. Mr. Incredible fires the afterburners and peels off, leaving Buddy standing alone]'' Hey! Hey, wait!<br />
:''[A trail of stolen goods scattered across a rooftop leads us to a mugger. He mutters to himself as he roots through a stolen purse, disregarding some items, stuffing others into his pockets. A shadow looms on the wall behind him]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' You know. ''[the snatcher looks up. He grins]'' you can tell a lot about a woman by the contents of her purse, but maybe that’s not what you had in mind.<br />
:'''Snatcher:''' Hey, look!<br />
:''[Mr. Incredible closes in on him. The snatcher drops the purse and pulls a gun. Suddenly, an arm stretches and punches the snatcher's jaw. Mr. Incredible looks up and sees a dazzling masked woman in an equally dazzling suit. She smiles. If she looks familiar, it's because she is the same woman we saw earlier: Elastigirl, aka the soon-to-be Helen Parr]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Elastigirl.<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Mr. lncredible.<br />
:''[Elastigirl moves to the snatcher, begins to pick him up]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' No, it’s all right. I’ve got him.<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Sure, you’ve got him. I just took him out for you.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Sure, you took him out. His attention was on me.<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' A fact I exploited to do my job.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' My job, you mean.<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' A simple thank you will suffice.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Thanks, but I don’t need any help.<br />
:''[Elastigirl assesses him. Slowly moves closer]''<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Whatever happened to "ladies first"?<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Well, whatever happened to equal treatment?<br />
:'''Snatcher:''' ''[regaining consciousness]'' Hey, look, the lady got me first. ''[Elastigirl coldcocks the crook with one stretched punch]''<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Well, we could share, you know.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' I work alone.<br />
:''[Elastigirl smiles, moves very close to Mr. Incredible]''<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Well, I think you need to be more…<br />
:''[In one fluid motion she loops around his body, suddenly behind him and before he can turn, back in front again]''<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' ...flexible.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible)''': ''[dazzled]'' Are...you doin' anything later?<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' I have a previous engagement.<br />
:''[She makes a little stutter step to the edge of the roof and jumps, flips, loops and stretches across the rooftops like a liquid cat, disappearing into the setting sun. Mr. Incredible lets out a low whistle. That. Is a woman]''<br />
:''[Mr. Incredible handcuffs the snatcher to a pipe]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible)''': Now, you just stay here. They usually pick up the garbage in an hour.<br />
:'''Frozone''': Hey, Incredible!<br />
:''[Mr. Incredible turns. A helicopter sweeps past, machine guns blazing back towards its pursuer. Frozone swoops down, hot on its tail, surfing a sheet of ice that materializes in his path]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible)''': Hey, Frozone!<br />
:''[Frozone leaps, grabbing on to one of the chopper's skids]''<br />
:'''Frozone''': Shouldn't you be getting ready?<br />
:''[Mr. Incredible frowns, glancing at his watch. Mr. Incredible yells at the retreating copter]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible)''': I still got time.<br />
:''[Off-screen, a woman screams followed by the horrified cries of several gathered people]'' <br />
:'''Woman''': ''[off-screen]'' He's gonna jump!<br />
:''[Mr. Incredible runs to the edge of the building and looks down. A large crowd is gathered on the streets below. Mr. Incredible follows their upwards gaze to the roof of a skyscraper with a man, Oliver Sansweet, who stands poised to jump, then does. Mr. Incredible quickly gauges distances, and then dives off the edge, making a spectacular leap, and tackles him in mid-air and then breaking through an enormous window on the far side, and tumbles to the floor in a shower of glass. Safe]''<br />
:''[Off-screen: the people outside are now clapping in applause]''<br />
:'''Sansweet''': I think you broke something.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible)''': Well, with counseling, I think you'll come to forgive me. ''[senses something]'' Wait a minute...<br />
:''[Mr. Incredible slides Sansweet over to a desk and props him up against it]''<br />
:''[His acute senses turn his attention to the hallway, toward the elevators. As he follows his ears, we become aware of a sound: a tiny series of regular beeps. Mr. Incredible locates a spot on the wall and presses one ear against it. The beeps accelerate. Mr. Incredible starts to push away and... BOOM! The hallway is filled with smoke and debris. A silhouette emerges from the newly blown hole in the wall; a tall, rangy man in a mime costume carries two stuffed duffel bags. This is Bomb Voyage. He surveys the scene with a wicked smile. A vault door is embedded into the wall directly opposite the hole. It moves aside, revealing Mr. Incredible behind it, dazed but unharmed. He sees the mime and growls]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible)''': ''[coughing]'' Bomb Voyage.<br />
:'''Bomb Voyage''': ''[first words]'' <big><big>'''''Monsieur Incroyable!'''''</big></big> [Translation: Mr. Incredible!]<br />
:'''IncrediBoy''': ''[off-screen]'' And IncrediBoy!<br />
:''[Both Mr. Incredible and Voyage turn and stare in disbelief at the kid, who awkwardly flies over to them]''<br />
:'''Bomb Voyage''': IncrediBoy?<br />
:'''IncrediBoy''': Hey, hey! Aren’t you curious about how I get around so fast? See? I have these rocket boots.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Go home, Buddy.<br />
:'''IncrediBoy:''' What?<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Now.<br />
:'''Bomb Voyage:''' '''''Petit mufe va!''''' [Translation: Little oaf…]<br />
:'''IncrediBoy:''' ''[he takes Bob aside]'' Can we talk? You always, always say be true to yourself, but you never say which part of yourself to be true to. Well, I’ve finally figured out who I am. I am your ward…IncrediBoy!<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' And now, you have officially carried it too far, Buddy.<br />
:''[Mr. Incredible grabs Bomb Voyage before he could get away. There is an ugly flash in Buddy's eyes]''<br />
:'''IncrediBoy:''' This is because I don’t have powers, isn’t it? Well not every superhero has powers, you know. You can be super without them. [re: his rocket boots] I built these. I can fly. Can you fly?<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' ''[warns IncrediBoy]'' Fly home, Buddy. I work alone.<br />
:'''Bomb Voyage''': ''[last words]'' <big><big>'''''Et ton costume est complètement ridicule!'''''</big></big> [Translation: And your outfit is totally ridiculous!]<br />
:'''IncrediBoy:''' Just give me one chance! ''[to Bomb Voyage]'' I’ll show you. I’ll go get the police.<br />
:''[As Buddy jogs to the shattered window, Mr. Incredible sees that Voyage has sneakily clipped a small bomb onto Buddy's cape]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Buddy, don’t!<br />
:'''IncrediBoy:''' It’ll only take a second, really.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' ''[takes off after him]'' NO, STOP! There’s a bomb!<br />
:''[Mr. Incredible grabs Buddy's cape just as "IncrediBoy" takes off, taking Mr. Incredible with him. Mr. Incredible and the boy rocket wildly out of control, spraying sparks in every direction, Mr. Incredible grabbing at the cape desperately for the bomb]''<br />
:'''IncrediBoy:''' Let go! You’re wrecking my flight pattern! I can do this if you let go!<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Will you just…?? I’m trying to help! Stop!<br />
:'''IncrediBoy:''' Let go of my cape!<br />
:''[Mr. Incredible finally grabs hold of the bomb and flings it free. Both he and the bomb fall onto the elevated train tracks below. The bomb explodes, blowing away a large section of track. Mr. Incredible groggily looks up; A train is coming. And heading straight for the section of track that is no longer there. Mr. Incredible sets his jaw and starts running toward the oncoming train, leaping the chasm to intercept the train before it gets there. Mr. Incredible pulls up and plants himself. The expression on his face says it all: this is going to hurt. The train hits; Mr. Incredible taking the full impact. Rail ties break behind Mr. Incredible's feet, spraying in all directions as Mr. Incredible, miraculously, wrestles the train to a stop]''<br />
:''[Finally, Police and paramedics have arrived, cordoning off the accident scene and treating the injured. At last, Mr. Incredible hands Buddy over to the police]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Take this one home. And make sure his '''''mom''''' '''''knows what he's been doing'''''.<br />
:'''IncrediBoy:''' I can help you. You’re making a mista---hey!<br />
:''[The cops shove Buddy into the backseat of their car]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' The injured jumper. You sent paramedics?<br />
:'''Police Officer:''' They’ve already picked him up.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' The blast in that building was caused by Bomb Voyage who I caught in the act robbing the vault. Now, we might be able to nab him if we set up a perimeter.<br />
:'''Police Officer #2:''' You mean he got away?<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Well, yeah. '''''Skippy here''''' made sure of '''''that'''''.<br />
:'''IncrediBoy:''' ''[last words]'' IncrediBoy!<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' You’re not affiliated with me!!<br />
:''[A tiny alarm sounds. Mr. Incredible checks his wristwatch]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Holy smokes, I’m late. Listen, I’ve gotta be somewhere.<br />
:''[Mr. Incredible signals the Incredi-Bile with a remote. It roars into view, squeals to a stop next to him]''<br />
:'''Police Officer:''' What about Bomb Voyage?<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Any other night, I’d go after him myself, but I really gotta go. But don’t worry. We'll get him! Eventually!<br />
:''[Mr. Incredible fires the afterburners. The cops watch in dismay as the Incredi-Bile roars off]''<br />
:''[He enters, dressed smartly in a tux, fumbling with his tie]''<br />
:'''Bob:''' Hey, is the night still young?<br />
:'''Lucius:''' You’re '''''very late.'''''<br />
:'''Bob:''' How do I look? Good?<br />
:''[His best man named Lucius Best (aka Frozone) stops him before he...]''<br />
:'''Lucius:''' Oh, the mask! You still got the mask.<br />
:''[Lucius reaches up and pulls off his Mr. Incredible mask. Bob takes a deep breath and pushes open the chapel doors]''<br />
:'''Bob:''' Showtime.<br />
:''[Bob, the groom stands at the altar with his bride, Helen, who we quickly realize is also Elastigirl]''<br />
:'''Minister:''' Robert Parr, will you have this woman to be your lawful wedded wife?<br />
:'''Helen:''' You’re late. When you asked me if I was '''''doing anything later''''', I didn’t realize you’d '''''actually forgotten'''''. I thought it was playful banter.<br />
:'''Bob:''' It '''''was''''' playful banter.<br />
:'''Helen:''' Cutting it kinda close, don’t ya think?<br />
:'''Bob:''' You need to be more...flexible.<br />
:'''Helen:''' I love you, but if we’re gonna make this work, you’ve gotta be more than Mr. Incredible. You know that. Don’t you?<br />
:'''Minister:''' ...so long as you both shall live?<br />
:'''Bob:''' I do.<br />
:'''Minister:''' I pronounce this couple husband and wife.<br />
:''[They kiss, as people are cheering and whistling. Gazerbeam, Stratogale, Dynaguy, Meta-Man, Thunderhead, E and Rick Dicker can be seen for a few seconds clapping.]''<br />
:'''Helen:''' As long as we both shall live. No matter what happens.<br />
:'''Bob:''' Hey, come on. We’re superheroes. What could happen?<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[The screen switches to a news flash.]''<br />
:'''Newsreel Narrator:''' In a stunning turn of events, a superhero is being sued for saving someone who, apparently, didn’t want to be saved. The plaintiff, Oliver Sansweet, who was foiled in his attempted suicide by Mr. Incredible, has filed a suit against the famed superhero in Superior Court.<br />
:''[Oliver Sansweet's lawyer stands next to him on the crowded front steps, and speaks to a cluster of reporters]''<br />
:'''Sansweet’s Lawyer:''' Mr. Sansweet didn’t ask to be saved, Mr. Sansweet didn’t wanna be saved! And the injury received from Mr. Incredible’s "actions", '''''so-called''''' causes him daily pain!<br />
:'''Mr. Incredible:''' Hey, I saved your life!<br />
:'''Sansweet:''' You didn’t save my life, you ruined my death! That’s what you did...!<br />
:'''Mr. Incredible:''' Listen, you little ''[interrupted by his lawyer]'' piece of....<br />
:'''Mr. Incredible's Lawyer:''' My client has no further comment at this time.<br />
:'''Newsreel Narrator:''' Five days later, another suit was filed by victims of the El Train accident.<br />
:''[Shots of a courtroom filled with neck-braced, cast-wearing, train-wreck victims. A lawyer goes through his paces, often gesturing toward a glowering Mr. Incredible]''<br />
:'''Newsreel Narrator:''' Incredible’s court losses cost the government millions, and opened the floodgates for dozens of superhero lawsuits the world over.<br />
:''[A series of spinning newspaper headlines describing the succession of lawsuits brought against superheroes saying, "DynaGuy sued!", "'SUPER' DAMAGES!", "X-RAY VISION PEEPING TOM?" Irate Taxpayers demonstrate, waving placards that read: "NO MORE SUPER BAILOUTS!", "$UPER EXPEN$IVE!", etc. A government employee addresses her colleagues]''<br />
:'''Government Public Speaker:''' It is time for their '''''secret identity''''' to become their '''''only identity'''''. Time for them to join us, or go away!<br />
:'''Newsreel Narrator:''' Under tremendous public pressure, and the crushing financial burden of an ever-mounting series of lawsuits, the government quietly initiated the superhero relocation program. ''[Superheroes exiting the public stage, as they wave goodbye (ala Nixon), duck into cars in a shower of popping flashbulbs, cheered by supporters, jeered by opponents, etc.]'' The supers will be granted amnesty from responsibility for past actions, in exchange for the promise to never again resume hero work. Where are they now?<br />
:''[A throng of people mill about the city streets in diverse anonymity]''<br />
:'''Newsreel Narrator:''' They are living among us. Average citizens, average heroes. Quietly and anonymously continuing to make the world a better place.<br />
:''[The music crescendos as camera lifts up to the horizon and the sun streaming through the clouds.]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Title card reading: "15 Years Later". It’s now 15 years later and Bob is working at an insurance agency and stamps "Denied" on 2004 release a frail woman (Mrs. Hogenson)'s policy claim, replacing the red "X" on 2024 relase a frail woman (Mrs. Hogenson)'s policy claim]''<br />
:'''Mrs. Hogenson:''' Denied? You’re denying my claim? I don’t understand, I have full coverage.<br />
:''[Her claims adjuster, Bob Parr looks up at Mrs. Hogenson sadly. He looks familiar because it is none other than Mr. Incredible himself, now balding, sixty-four pounds heavier and dressed in a too-tight white-collar shirt sitting in an uncomfortably cramped cubicle. Mrs. Hogenson sits across from him, bewildered and upset]''<br />
:'''Bob:''' I’m sorry, Mrs. Hogenson, but our liability is spelled out in paragraph 17. It states clearly-<br />
:'''Mrs. Hogenson:''' ''[stammering]'' I-I can’t pay for this.<br />
:''[Bob hears the phone ring]''<br />
:'''Bob:''' Excuse me. ''[answers phone]'' Claims, Bob Parr.<br />
:''[Helen chats amiably as she bathes her infant baby Jack-Jack in the sink of their airy, ranch-style kitchen. Her hairstyle has changed, her hips have widened a little, but Motherhood has agreed with her, and little else has changed from her Elastigirl days. A stack of empty moving boxes are stacked haphazardly near the door]''<br />
:'''Helen:''' I’m calling to celebrate a momentous occasion. We’re now officially moved in.<br />
:'''Bob:''' Yeah, well, that’s great, honey. And the last three years don’t count because...<br />
:'''Helen:''' Because I finally unpacked the last box. Now, it’s official. Ha, ha, ha. Why do we have so much junk?<br />
:'''Bob:''' Listen, honey, I’ve got a client.<br />
:'''Helen:''' Say no more. Go save the world one policy at a time, honey. Oh! I gotta go pick up the kids from school. See you tonight.<br />
:'''Bob:''' Bye, honey. ''[to Mrs. Hogenson]'' Excuse me. Where were we?<br />
:'''Mrs. Hogenson:''' ''[cries]'' I'm on a fixed income, and if you can't help me, I don't know what I'll do. ''[blows nose loudly; crying]''<br />
:'''Bob:''' ''[he looks out of his cubicle and above it to make sure no one's eavesdropping and then turns his attention back to Mrs. Hogenson]'' All right, listen closely. I'd like to help you, but I :'''''can't'''''. I'd '''''like''''' to tell you to take a copy of your policy to Norma Wilcox on... :''[whispering, tapping on a notepad instructing her to write this all down]'' Norma Wilcox, W-I-L-C-O-X, on the third floor, but I can't. I also '''''do not''''' advise you to fill out and file a WS2475 form with our legal department on the second floor. I would '''''not''''' expect someone to get back to you quickly to resolve the matter. I'd '''''like to help''''', but there's nothing I can do.<br />
:'''Mrs. Hogenson:''' Oh, thank you, young man.<br />
:'''Bob:''' ''[shushing her and peering over the top of his cubicle, looking around and shouting loudly to make sure no one is listening to the conversation]'' '''''I'M SORRY, MA'AM! I KNOW YOU'RE UPSET!!''''' ''[whispering]'' Pretend to be upset. ''[She walks out of the cubicle pretending to sob. Gilbert Huph, charges down towards Bob's cubicle and pushes past Mrs. Hogenson]''<br />
:'''Huph:''' <big><big><big>'''''PAAAARRRRRRR!'''''</big></big></big> ''[he passes some papers on Bob's desk, as he gets startled. This causes a cup of pencils to fall down, which Bob picks up again]'' You authorized payment on the Walker policy?!<br />
:'''Bob:''' Someone broke into their house, Mr. Huph. Their policy clearly covers them against...<br />
:'''Huph:''' ''[worried]'' I don't know wanna about their coverage, Bob. Don't tell me about their coverage. Tell me how you're keeping Insuricare in the black! Tell me how that's possible with you writing checks to every Harry Hardluck and Sally Sobstory <big>'''''THAT GIVES YOU A PHONE CALL!!'''''</big> ''[showing off storms out of Bob's cubicle]''<br />
:''[Huph leaves. Bob stands there impotently, then sits]''<br />
:'''PA Announcement:''' Morning break is over. Morning break is over. ''[the cup holding Bob's pencils fall to the floor spilling out]''<br />
:''[Helen enters the principal's office and sees her son [[w:Dash Parr|Dash]] hunched in a chair. Before him are two men, Dash's teacher Bernie Kropp, balding, tense, and looking older than his 36 years, and the school's principal]''<br />
:'''Principal:''' I appreciate you coming down here, Mrs. Parr.<br />
:''[Helen looks at Dash]''<br />
:'''Helen:''' What’s this about? Has Dash done something wrong?<br />
:'''Bernie:''' ''[first words]'' He’s a disruptive influence and he openly mocks me in front of the class.<br />
:'''Dash:''' ''[muttering]'' He says.<br />
:'''Bernie:''' ''[to Helen and Dash]'' Look, I know it's you! He puts thumbtacks on my stool.<br />
:'''Helen:''' ''[telling Bernie what he is done to Dash.]'' You saw him do this?<br />
:'''Bernie:''' Well, not real– No, actually not.<br />
:'''Helen:''' Oh, then how do you know it was him?<br />
:'''Bernie:''' I hid a camera. ''[produces a videotape. Dash gasps and looks at Helen, glaring at him]'' And this time I got him. ''[the footage shows Bernie shows up to his seat and when he's about to sit down, for a couple of frames.]'' I'll show him! I'll show him! I'll show him! ''[Dash is seen running to the seat and back to his desk]'' See? You see? ''[Helen and the principal squint in an attempt to try to see it]'' What, you don't see it? ''[sighs, and rewinds the tape]'' He moves! <big><big>'''''RIGHT THERE!'''''</big></big> ''[pauses]'' Wait, wait! Right... ''there! '''Right as I'm sitting down!''''' I don't know, I don't know how he does it, but there's no tack on my stool ''before'' he moves and ''after'' he moves there's a tack! Coincidence? I think <big><big>'''''NOT!'''''</big></big><br />
:'''Principal:''' Uh, Bernie? ''[pats his shoulder]''<br />
:'''Bernie:''' Don’t "Bernie" me! ''[angrily threatening to Dash]'' <big><big>'''''THIS LITTLE RAT IS GUILTY!'''''</big></big><br />
:'''Principal:''' You and your son can go now, Mrs. Parr. I’m sorry for the trouble.<br />
:'''Bernie:''' ''[last words]'' You're letting him go '''''again?!''''' He's guilty! You can see it on his smug little face!! <big><big>''GUILTY, I SAY, GUILTY! '''GUILTY, GUILTY! NO!'''''</big></big><br />
:''[Dash and Helen drive to Western View Junior High to pick up Violet]''<br />
:'''Helen:''' Dash, this is the third time this year you've been sent to the office. We need to find a better outlet, a more...constructive outlet.<br />
:'''Dash:''' '''''Maybe I could,''''' if you’d let me go out for '''''sports'''''.<br />
:'''Helen:''' Honey, you know why we can’t do that.<br />
:'''Dash:''' I promise I’ll slow up. I’ll only be the best by a tiny bit.<br />
:'''Helen:''' Dashiell Robert Parr, you are an '''''incredibly competitive boy''''', and a bit of a showoff. The last thing you need is temptation.<br />
:'''Dash:''' You always say, "'''''Do your best'''''", but you don’t really '''''mean it'''''. Why can’t I do the best that I can do?<br />
:'''Helen:''' Right now, honey, the world just wants us to fit in, and to '''''fit in''''', we just gotta be like everybody else.<br />
:'''Dash:''' Dad always said our powers were nothing to be ashamed of. Our powers made us special.<br />
:'''Helen:''' Everyone's special, Dash.<br />
:'''Dash:''' ''[muttering]'' Which is another way of saying '''''no one is'''''.<br />
:''[At Western View Junior High, daughter [[w:Violet Parr|Violet]] stands next to the stairs outside and Tony, her crush, walks out]''<br />
:'''Boy:''' Hey, Rydinger. Where you headed?<br />
:'''Girl:''' Hi, Tony.<br />
:'''Tony:''' Hey.<br />
:'''Boy:''' Hey, Tony, can I carry your books?<br />
:'''Tony:''' That’s kind of funny.<br />
:'''Boy 1:''' Hey, Tony, do you play football?<br />
:'''Boy 2:''' Tony, I thought we were gonna go swimming.<br />
:''[Tony walks by Violet but when he turns around, he doesn't see anyone. Confused, Tony walks away. Violet's invisible but her clothes are still visible and afterwards becomes fully visible again]''<br />
:'''Violet:''' He looked at me.<br />
:''[car horn honking]''<br />
:'''Dash''': Come on, Violet!<br />
:''[Bob is on an interstate highway and heading home from Insuricare in gridlock traffic]''<br />
:'''Bob:''' ''[slowly arrives in the driveway with his grossly under-sized hatchback, opens the door, accidentally slips on a skateboard and leaves a finger crush on the door, muttering angrily]'' Darn kids. Sitting on the driveway. ''[notices his finger crush on the door]'' Oh, great. ''[attempts to shut the car door with increasing frustration. The third time he quickly throws it closed, only for the door window to crash and shatter.]'' Oh my. ''[He loses his temper, turns red in anger and angrily lifts the car over his head, only to see a boy named Rusty McAllister on his Big Wheel staring at him. Rusty's bubblegum bubble pops. Bob puts the car down, and checks for Rusty. Bob makes his way into the house]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Everyone's eating at the dinner table while Helen feeds Jack-Jack]''<br />
:'''Dash:''' Mom. You're making weird faces again.<br />
:'''Helen:''' Mmm. No, I'm not.<br />
:'''Bob:''' You make weird faces, honey.<br />
:'''Helen:''' Do ya have to read at the table?<br />
:'''Bob:''' Uh-huh. Yeah.<br />
:'''Helen:''' ''[spots Dash trying to take a bite out of his steak without cutting it]'' Smaller bites, Dash. Yikes! Bob, could you help the carnivore cut his meat?<br />
:'''Dash:''' Ow.<br />
:''[Bob goes over to Dash and cuts his steak]''<br />
:'''Helen:''' Dash, ya have something you wanna tell your father about school?<br />
:'''Dash:''' ''[nervously]'' Well, we dissected a frog.<br />
:'''Helen:''' Dash got sent to the office again.<br />
:'''Bob:''' ''[distracted]'' Good. Good.<br />
:'''Helen:''' No Bob, that's bad.<br />
:'''Bob:''' What?<br />
:'''Helen:''' Dash got sent to the office again.<br />
:'''Bob:''' What? What for?<br />
:'''Dash:''' ''[through his teeth]'' Nothing.<br />
:'''Helen:''' He put a tack on the teacher’s chair... during class.<br />
:'''Dash:''' ''[muttering]'' Nobody saw me. You could barely see it on the tape.<br />
:'''Bob:''' They caught you on tape and you still got away with it? Whoa! You must have been booking. How fast did you think you were going?<br />
:'''Helen:''' Bob! We are not encouraging this.<br />
:'''Bob:''' I’m not encouraging, I’m just asking how fast...<br />
:'''Helen:''' Honey!<br />
:''[Bob accidentally cuts through the plate and then pauses for a few seconds]''<br />
:'''Bob:''' Great. First the car, now I gotta pay to fix the table...<br />
:'''Helen:''' The car? What happened to the car?<br />
:'''Bob:''' Here. I’m getting a new plate. ''[He leaves angrily and goes into the kitchen]''<br />
:'''Helen:''' ''[clearing her throat]'' So, how about you, Vi? How was school?<br />
:'''Violet:''' ''[sullenly]'' Nothin’ to report.<br />
:'''Helen:''' You’ve hardly touched your food.<br />
:'''Violet:''' I’m not hungry for meatloaf.<br />
:'''Helen:''' Well, it is leftover night. We have steak, pasta. What are ya hungry for?<br />
:'''Dash:''' ''[annoyingly teases Violet]'' Tony Rydinger.<br />
:'''Violet:''' ''[angrily]'' Shut up!<br />
:'''Dash:''' ''[annoyingly teases Violet again]'' Well, you are.<br />
:'''Violet:''' ''[angrily shouts at Dash]'' I said, shut up, you little insect!<br />
:'''Dash:''' ''[annoyingly teases Violet one final time]'' Well, she is.<br />
:'''Helen:''' ''[angrily covers Violet and Dash's mouths]'' DO NOT SHOUT AT THE TABLE! Honey!<br />
:'''Bob:''' ''[Off-screen; in the other room]'' Kids! Listen to your mother.<br />
:''[Helen sighs and the family goes back to eating dinner]''<br />
:'''Dash:''' ''[under his breath as he takes a sip from his cup]'' She'd eat if we were having "Tony loaf".<br />
:'''Violet:''' ''[enraged]'' <big>''''THAT'S IT!''''</big> ''[furiously jumps over the table and angrily starts fighting with Dash]'' That’s it!<br />
:''[Dash and Violet start fighting]''<br />
:'''Helen:''' Stop it!<br />
:'''Dash:''' ''[furiously starts running around the table angrily hitting Violet every time he passes her]'' You’re gonna be toast!<br />
:'''Helen:''' Stop running in the house. Sit down!<br />
:''[Violet angrily puts a force field in front of Dash to stop him, laughing]''<br />
:'''Dash''': <big><big>''''Ow! Hey, no force fields!''''</big></big><br />
:'''Violet:''' You started it.<br />
:'''Helen:''' ''[stretches her arms to grab Dash and Violet]'' You sit down! You sit down! Violet! ''[Dash and Violet go under the table to fight with Helen’s arms still attached; Jack-Jack is clearly enjoying this]'' Ow! Ow!<br />
:'''Bob:''' ''[gets another plate while still reading the newspaper]'' Simon J. Paladino, longtime advocate of superhero rights, is missing? Gazerbeam.<br />
:'''Helen:''' <big><big><big>'''''BOB! IT'S TIME TO ENGAGE!'''''</big></big></big> Do something! Don’t just stand there! I need you to... intervene!<br />
:'''Bob:''' You want me to intervene? Okay!<br />
:''[picks up the table and Helen, with the kids still fighting]''<br />
:'''Bob:''' I’m intervening, I’m intervening!<br />
:'''Helen:''' Violet, let go of your brother!<br />
:''[The doorbell rings.]''<br />
:'''Jack-Jack:''' Hello?<br />
:'''Bob:''' Get the door.<br />
:''[The family quickly goes back to their regular positions except for Dash, who runs over to answer the door.]''<br />
:'''Dash:''' Hey, Lucius!<br />
:'''Lucius''': Hey, Speedo! Hey, Helen. Vi, Jack-Jack.<br />
:''[Dash runs back to his seat at the table]''<br />
:'''Bob:''' He-hey! '''''Ice of you''''' to drop by.<br />
:'''Lucius:''' Ha! Never heard '''''that''''' one before.<br />
:'''Dash''' ''[gargling]:'' Oh, Lucius! ''[He spits water in the air.]''<br />
:'''Lucius:''' Whoa!<br />
:''[He freezes the spit shot and catches it.]''<br />
:'''Lucius''': Ah-ha.<br />
:'''Dash:''' Aw... I like it when it shatters.<br />
:'''Bob:''' I’ll be back later.<br />
:'''Helen:''' Hey, where are you two going?<br />
:'''Bob:''' It’s Wednesday.<br />
:'''Helen:''' Oh. Bowling night. Say hello to Honey for me, Lucius.<br />
:'''Lucius:''' Will do. Good night, Helen. Good night, kids.<br />
:'''Helen:''' ''[glares at Dash]'' Don’t think you’ve avoided talking about your trip to the principal’s office, young man. Your father and I are still gonna discuss it.<br />
:'''Dash:''' I’m not the only kid who’s been sent to the office, you know.<br />
:'''Helen:''' Other kids don’t have superpowers. Now, it’s perfectly normal...<br />
:'''Violet:''' Normal? What do '''''you''''' know about normal? What does '''''anyone in this family know about normal'''''?<br />
:'''Helen:''' Now, wait a minute, young lady.<br />
:'''Violet:''' We act normal, mom! I wanna '''''be''''' normal! The only '''''normal one''''' is Jack-Jack, and he’s not even toilet trained!!<br />
:''[Jack-Jack laughs]''<br />
:'''Dash:''' Lucky. I meant about being normal.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Bob and Lucius sit in Lucius's large, comfortable sedan, which is parked in a run-down city neighborhood, reminiscing. A portable police scanner sits on the dashboard, volume low, occasionally interrupting his story]''<br />
:'''Lucius:''' So now I’m in deep trouble. I mean, one more jolt of this death ray and I’m an epitaph. Somehow I managed to find cover and what does Baron Von Ruthless do?<br />
:'''Bob:''' ''[laughing]'' He starts monologuing.<br />
:'''Lucius:''' He starts monologuin'! He starts, like, this prepared speech about how '''''feeble''''' I am compared to him. How '''''inevitable my defeat is''''', how the '''''world will soon be his'''''! Yada, yada, yada.<br />
:'''Bob:''' Yammerin'.<br />
:'''Lucius:''' Yammerin'! I mean, the guy has me on a platter, and he won’t shut up.<br />
:'''Police Radio:''' Municiberg, we have a 23-56...<br />
:''[Bob turns up the volume, suddenly intense]''<br />
:'''Bob:''' 23-56, what is that? Robbery?<br />
:'''Lucius:''' This is just sad.<br />
:'''Bob:''' Yeah, robbery. Wanna catch a robber?<br />
:'''Lucius:''' No. Tell you the truth, I’d rather go '''''bowling'''''. Look, what if we actually '''''did''''' what our wives '''''think we’re doing'''''? Just to shake things up.<br />
:''[Meanwhile, in an undercover car....]''<br />
:'''Mirage:''' He’s not alone. The fat guy’s still with him. They’re just talking.<br />
:''[Back in Lucius's car]''<br />
:'''Lucius:''' What are we doin' here, Bob?<br />
:'''Bob:''' We're protecting people.<br />
:'''Lucius:''' Nobody '''''asked us'''''.<br />
:'''Bob:''' You need an '''''invitation'''''?<br />
:'''Lucius:''' I’d like one, yes. We keep sneakin' out to do this, and... you remember Gazerbeam?<br />
:'''Bob:''' Yeah. There was somethin' about him in the paper.<br />
:'''Lucius:''' He had trouble adjusting to civilian life, too.<br />
:'''Bob:''' When’s the last time you saw him?<br />
:'''Lucius:''' I don’t see anyone from the old days, Bob. Just you. And we’re pushin' our luck as it is.<br />
:'''Bob:''' Oh, come on. Come on, come on.<br />
:'''Lucius:''' It was fun the first time, but if we keep doin' this, we’re gonna get''—''<br />
:'''Police Radio:''' We have a report on a fire...<br />
:'''Bob:''' A fire. We’re close! ''[yelling]'' <big>'''YEAH, BABY!'''</big><br />
:'''Lucius:''' We’re gonna get caught.<br />
:'''Bob:''' WOOO-HOO!<br />
:''[Lucius reluctantly drives forward...]''<br />
:'''Bob:''' Fire! Yeah!<br />
:''[...as the undercover car follows them]''<br />
:''[The camera pans through the inside of a burning building, and then centers on Lucius and Bob, who are both carrying several people over their shoulders]''<br />
:'''Lucius:''' Is that everybody!?<br />
:'''Bob:''' Yeah, that’s everyone!<br />
:'''Lucius:''' It '''''better be'''''. ''[He attempts to generate ice in vain]''<br />
:'''Bob:''' Can’t you put this out?<br />
:'''Lucius:''' I can’t lay down a layer thick enough! It’s evaporating too fast!<br />
:'''Bob:''' Well, what’s that mean?<br />
:'''Lucius:''' It means it’s '''''hot'''''! And I’m '''''dehydrated''''', Bob!<br />
:'''Bob:''' You’re out of ice? You can’t run out of ice! I thought you used the water in the air!<br />
:'''Lucius:''' There '''''is''''' no water in this air! What’s your excuse, run outta muscle?!<br />
:'''Bob:''' I just can’t go smashing into walls! The building’s getting weaker by the second! It’s gonna come down on top of us!<br />
:'''Lucius:''' ''I'' wanted to go '''''bowling!!!'''''<br />
:'''Bob:''' All right! Stay right on my tail! This is gonna get hot!<br />
:''[Bob turns to his side and begins to run with Lucius following him. They crash through the side of the building into the building next to them. A second outside shot of the burning building shows it collapse.]''<br />
:'''Bob:''' Yeah....<br />
:''[But he realizes they’re in a jewelry store...]''<br />
:'''Bob:''' Uh-oh.<br />
:''[...and unknowingly trips the alarm]''<br />
:'''Bob:''' ''[sarcastically]'' Oh, good.<br />
:''[alarm sounds]''<br />
:'''Lucius:''' Oh, now that ain’t right.<br />
:'''Lucius:''' '''WE LOOK LIKE BAD GUYS!''' <big><big>'''INCOMPETENT BAD GUYS!!!'''</big></big><br />
:'''Bob:''' You can get water out of the air!<br />
:''[A police officer breaks in like '''[[w:Virtua Cop|Virtua Cop]]'''.]''<br />
:'''Police Officer:''' '''FREEZE!''' ''[They do]'' ''[Lucius, noticing a water cooler, picks up a paper cup and begins to fill it with water]'' '''FREEZE!'''<br />
:'''Lucius:''' I'm thirsty.<br />
:'''Police Officer:''' '''I SAID''' <big><big>'''''FREEZE!!!'''''</big></big><br />
:'''Lucius:''' I’m just... getting... a drink. ''[He drinks the water]''<br />
:'''Police Officer:''' Alright. You’ve had your drink.... Now I want you to...<br />
:'''Lucius:''' ''[Holding up hands in mock surrender]'' I know. I know... ''[drops the cup]'' '''Freeze.''' ''[He shoots a breeze of ice, freezing the officer and even the bullet]''<br />
:''[police radio chatter]''<br />
:'''Police Radio:''' Shots fired!<br />
:'''Officers:''' '''POLICE OFFICERS!'''<br />
:''[Drawing their guns, the cops are stopped by a bewildering sight: a recovering heap of rescued fire victims at the base of an enormous hole in the wall. Standing watch over them is the police officer, stunned and blinking under a layer of ice. Bob and Lucius jump into Lucius's car, pulling off their ski masks]''<br />
:'''Lucius:''' That was way too close. We are not doing that again.<br />
:'''Radio voice:''' Verify you wanna switch targets? Over.<br />
:'''Mirage:''' Trust me. This is the one he’s been looking for.<br />
:''[Bob enters quietly through the kitchen, pausing in the kitchen long enough to nab the remaining hunk of chocolate cake. Humming pleasantly as he chews, he moves into the living room when a voice comes out of the dark. Bob freezes. A light snaps on. A chair swivels around- it's Helen, wearing her robe and a peeved expression.]''<br />
:'''Helen:''' ''[angrily]'' I thought you'd be back by 11.<br />
:'''Bob:''' I said I'd be back later.<br />
:'''Helen:''' I assumed you’d be back later. If you came back at all...you’d be "back later".<br />
:'''Bob:''' Well, I’m back, okay?<br />
:'''Helen:''' ''[noticing a small piece of debris on Bob’s shirt]'' Is this... rubble?<br />
:'''Bob:''' ''[with mouth full]'' It was just a little workout. Just to stay loose.<br />
:'''Helen:''' You know how I feel about that, Bob! Darn you! We can’t blow our cover again!<br />
:'''Bob:''' The building was coming down anyway.<br />
:'''Helen:''' ''[shocked]'' What?! You knocked down a building?!<br />
:'''Bob:''' It was on fire. Structurally unsound. It was coming down anyway.<br />
:'''Helen:''' ''[facepalms]'' Tell me you haven't been listening to the police scanner again.<br />
:'''Bob:''' Look, I performed a public service. You act like that’s a bad thing!<br />
:'''Helen:''' It is a bad thing, Bob! Uprooting our family '''''again''''', so you can relive the glory days is a very bad thing!<br />
:'''Bob:''' Reliving the glory days is better than acting like they didn’t happen!<br />
:'''Helen:''' Yes! They happened! But this, our family, is what’s happening now, Bob. And you are missing this! I can’t believe you don’t wanna go to your own son’s graduation!<br />
:'''Bob:''' It’s not a graduation. He’s moving from the fourth grade to the fifth grade.<br />
:'''Helen:''' It’s a ceremony!<br />
:'''Bob:''' It’s '''''psychotic'''''! They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity but if someone is genuinely exceptional, then—<br />
:'''Helen:''' This is not about you, Bob! This is about Dash!<br />
:'''Bob:''' You wanna do something for Dash?! Then let him actually compete! Let him go out for sports!<br />
:'''Helen:''' I will not be made the enemy here! You know why we can’t do that!<br />
:'''Bob:''' ''[enraged]'' <big><big><big><big><big><big>'''[[Ice Age (2002 film)|BECAUSE HE'D BE GREAT!!]]'''</big></big></big></big></big></big><br />
:''[Helen angrily stretches her neck over Bob's head]''<br />
:'''Helen:''' THIS IS NOT… '''ABOUT'''… <big>'''YOU'''!</big> ''[Off-screen, a soft ‘woosh’ is heard in the background. Bob and Helen turn to the couch.]''<br />
:'''Bob:''' All right, Dash. I know you’re listening. Come on out.<br />
:'''Helen:''' Vi? You, too, young lady. ''[Violet materializes]''<br />
:'''Bob:''' Come on. Come on out. It’s okay, kids. We’re just having a discussion.<br />
:'''Violet:''' Pretty ''loud'' discussion.<br />
:'''Bob:''' Yeah. But that’s okay. Because what’s important is that Mommy and I are always a team. We’re always united against, uh, the forces of, uh...<br />
:'''Helen:''' Pigheadedness?<br />
:'''Bob:''' I was gonna say evil or something.<br />
:'''Helen:''' We’re sorry we woke you. Everything’s okay. Go back to bed. It’s late.<br />
:'''Dash:''' Good night, Mom. Night, Dad.<br />
:'''Violet:''' Good night.<br />
:'''Helen:''' In fact, we should '''''all''''' be in bed. ''[walks over to the nearby lamp and turns it off as dog barks. Cut to the next day. Bob sits at his tiny desk. One look at his bleary face says it all: he hasn't slept all night. His intercom BEEPS. Bob glares at it a beat, then hits ANSWER.]''<br />
:'''Woman''' ''[on phone]'': Request claim on claim numbers 158183....<br />
:'''Huph:''' <big>'''''HAVEN'T YOU GOT HIM YET, HEY WHERE IS HE?!? PLEASE! RIGHT NOW!'''''</big><br />
:'''Huph's Secretary:''' ''[over the intercom]'' Mr. Huph would like to talk to you in his office.<br />
:'''Bob:''' Now?<br />
:'''Huph's Secretary:''' '''''Now...'''''<br />
:''[Huph shows up continues to yell indistinctly over the phone. Bob eventually gets up from his cubicle and heads to Huph's Office. Mirage slowly walks over, looks around and leaves something on his desk]''<br />
:''[Cut to the inside of Huph's office. Marginally bigger than Bob's office, with a coveted window to the outside world. Painfully clean and joyless. Every pencil sharpened, every paper perfectly stacked and aligned to run parallel to the edge of the desktop]''<br />
:''[Huph sharpens his pencil and aligns it with the other three]''<br />
:'''Huph:''' Sit down, Bob.<br />
:''[He does, moving the 4th pencil. Huph re-aligns it and starts.]''<br />
:'''Huph:''' ''[seriously]'' I’m not happy, Bob. <big>Not.... happy?!?</big> ''[He gets up.]'' Ask me why.<br />
:'''Bob:''' Okay. Why?<br />
:'''Huph:''' Why what? Be specific, Bob.<br />
:'''Bob:''' Why are you unhappy?<br />
:'''Huph:''' Your customers make me unhappy.<br />
:'''Bob:''' What, you’ve gotten complaints?<br />
:'''Huph:''' '''''Complaints''''' I can handle. What I can’t handle is your clients’ inexplicable knowledge of Insuricare’s inner workings!! They're experts! '''EXPERTS''', Bob! Exploiting every loophole, dodgin' every obstacle, they're '''''penetrating the bureaucracy!!'''''<br />
:'''Bob:''' Did I do something illegal?<br />
:'''Huph:''' ''[begrudgingly]'' No.<br />
:'''Bob:''' Are you saying we shouldn’t help our customers?<br />
:'''Huph:''' The law requires that I answer no.<br />
:'''Bob:''' We’re supposed to help people.<br />
:'''Huph:''' We're supposed to help '''''<big><u>OUR</u> PEOPLE!!</big>''''' Starting with our stockholders, Bob, who's helping them out, huh?! ''[He sighs and regains composure.]'' You know, Bob... ''[He moves a letter that says:] [Memo: Policy Notification] [To: Employee] [From: Gilbert Huph] [Due to financial cutbacks, you will be expected to self-expense all office supplies, including but not limited to pencils, erasers, pens, paper, stationery, folders, staples, paper clips, brads, and photocopies. All parking will now be metered by the hour. Electricity consumption and all telephone charges will be deducted from your paycheck.] [The Board of Directors at Insuricare wishes to thank you for your selfless sacrifice through this time of financial uncertainty. It is because of you, the employee, that Insuricare has recorded its highest profit in years. Remember, a successful company makes for successful employees. Every penny you save is another penny that goes in....'' ''[the rest is covered by Huph's finger] Salutations, Gilbert Huph]'' ...a company...<br />
:'''Bob:''' Is like an enormous clock.<br />
:'''Huph:''' ...is like an enormous clo- Yes, precisely! It only works...if all the little cogs...mesh together! Now, a clock needs to be clean, well-lubricated and wound tight. The best clocks have jewel movements, cogs that fit, that cooperate by design. ''[chuckling]'' I’m being metaphorical, Bob....You know what I mean by cooperative cogs? Bob...?...Bob...?<br />
:''[seriously grabs Bob by the chin and angrily pulls him toward him]'' '''''LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU, PARR!''''' ''[Outside the window, Bob sees a man is being mugged]''<br />
:'''Bob:''' That man out there, he needs help!<br />
:'''Huph:''' Do '''''NOT''''' change the subject, Bob! We’re discussing <big><big>'''''YOUR! ATTITUDE!'''''</big></big><br />
:'''Bob:''' He is getting mugged!<br />
:'''Huph:''' Well, let’s hope we don’t cover him!<br />
:'''Bob:''' ''[gets up out of his seat and heads for the door]'' I’ll be right back. ''[puts his hand on the doorknob]''<br />
:'''Huph:''' <big><big><big>'''''[[Wreck-It Ralph|STOP RIGHT NOW, OR YOU'RE FIRED!?]]'''''</big></big></big> ''[Bob stops, crushes the doorknob and angrily turns red]'' ''[Huph grins evilly]'' Close the door. ''[Bob reluctantly does]'' Get over here...now. ''[Bob lets go of the doorknob, now crushed out of shape, and walks over to Huph.]'' ''[seriously]'' I’m not happy, Bob. Not happy. ''[Bob watches the mugger getting away]''<br />
:'''Bob:''' ''[seething]'' He got away.<br />
:'''Huph:''' Good thing, too... heh! You were this close to losing your j- ''[Bob furiously grabs Huph by the throat and throws him through 5 office walls. Huph crashes into a filing cabinet, badly injured. Everyone stares at Bob in shock]''<br />
:'''Bob:''' Uh-oh. ''[Cut to the hospital where Huph is seen in a full body cast in a hospital room]''<br />
:'''PA:''' Please report to operating room 722 immediately. ''[Rick Dicker comes out of the room where Huph is hospitalized. Bob and Rick conversate while heading to the elevator.]''<br />
:'''Bob:''' How is he?<br />
:'''Rick:''' He’ll live.<br />
:'''Bob:''' I’m fired, aren’t I?<br />
:'''Rick:''' Oh, you think?<br />
:'''Bob:''' What can I say, Rick?<br />
:'''Rick:''' Nothin' you haven’t said before.<br />
:'''Bob:''' Someone was in trouble.<br />
:'''Rick:''' Someone’s always in trouble.<br />
:'''Bob:''' I had to do something.<br />
:'''Rick:''' Yeah. Every time you say those words, it means a month and a half of trouble for me, Bob. It means hundreds of thousands of taxpayer’s dollars.<br />
:''[Rick reaches and presses the down elevator button.]''<br />
:'''Bob:''' I know.<br />
:'''Rick:''' We gotta pay to keep the company quiet. We gotta pay damages, erase memories, relocate your family. Every time it gets harder. Money, money, money, money, money. W-We can’t keep doing this, Bob! ''[he enters the elevator]'' We appreciate what you did in the old days, but those days are over. From now on, you're on your own.<br />
:''[Bob stares at the floor, beaten. Rick looks at him with pity. Then as the elevator doors close, Rick stops it with his left arm]''<br />
:'''Rick:''' Uh, listen, Bob.<br />
:'''Rick:''' Maybe I could relocate you. You know, for old times’ sake.<br />
:'''Bob:''' No. I can’t do that to my family. Everyone just got settled. I’ll make it work. Thanks.<br />
:''[Rick stares at Bob a long moment. A bittersweet smile—]''<br />
:'''Rick:''' Take care of yourself.<br />
:''[Rick lets go of the elevator doors. Bob stares at them, numb]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Bob climbs out of his car and is surprised to find Rusty on the Big Wheel, waiting in exactly the same spot as the day before]''<br />
:'''Bob:''' Well, what are you waiting for?<br />
:'''Rusty:''' I don’t know...something amazing, I guess....<br />
:''[A rueful smile blooms and dies on Bob's face]''<br />
:'''Bob:''' Me too, kid.<br />
:''[Cut to a cramped, windowless museum of Mr. Incredible arcana. Walls and shelves cluttered with mementos of his storied past: framed photos, newspaper front pages, magazines, and, displayed on the wall under Plexiglas, his Mr. Incredible suit. Bob enters and closes the door. He opens his briefcase, pulls out an Insuricare employee manual. He growls and rips it in half, tossing it in the trashcan. On a roll now, he begins to dump the entire contents of his briefcase into the trash when—CLUNK! Bob double-takes— startled by the heavy sound. He peers over the edge of the desk, into the trash, and sees— a large manila envelope. He picks it up, and is surprised it's heavy. He opens it and pulls out a flat panel about a half-inch thick. On it is printed "This End Up". He turns the panel as instructed. In the center is a small circle with writing beneath it. Bob squints, unable to read the tiny letters. He brings it closer—his point of view: As the letters... slowly... come... into... focus]''<br />
:'''Bob''': Huh? Hold still?<br />
:''[Suddenly, the panel projects a blue grid over Bob's face, we hear a robotic male voice]''<br />
:'''Tablet''': Match: Mr. Incredible.<br />
:''[Bob drops the panel in surprise. It clatters to the floor, still functioning. A small foot-long rod with the metal ball at the top pops out from the panel, the ball at the tip makes a quick, single revolution, scanning the surrounding room with a vertical beam]''<br />
:'''Tablet''': Room is Secure. Commence Message.<br />
:''[The panel flickers. It's a video screen. An image appears, the beautiful platinum blonde woman who visited earlier that day is seen]''<br />
:'''Mirage:''' Hello, Mr. Incredible. Yes, we know who you are. Rest assured, your secret is safe with us. My name is Mirage. We have somethin' in common. According to the government, neither of us exist. Please pay attention, as this message is classified and will not be repeated.<br />
:''[Bob quickly gets to his pencil case and tries a pencil; one is not working and then he grabs one that works. He starts taking notes on Mirage's message.]''<br />
:'''Mirage:''' I represent a top-secret division of the government, designing and testing experimental technology, and we have need of your unique abilities. Something has happened at our testing facility. A highly experimental attack robot...<br />
:'''Helen:''' ''[interrupting]'' Honey!<br />
:'''Bob:''' Huh? What?<br />
:'''Helen:''' Dinner’s ready!<br />
:'''Bob:''' Okay!<br />
:'''Mirage:''' ...has escaped control. Although it is contained within an isolated area, it threatens to cause incalculable damage to itself and to our facilities, jeopardizing hundreds of millions of dollars' worth of equipment in research...<br />
:'''Helen:''' ''[interrupting]'' Is someone in there?<br />
:'''Bob:''' It’s the TV, trying to watch!<br />
:'''Mirage:''' Because of its highly sensitive nature, this mission does not, nor will it ever, exist.<br />
:'''Helen:''' Well, stop trying. It’s time for dinner!<br />
:'''Bob:''' One minute!<br />
:'''Mirage:''' If you accept, your payment will be triple your current annual salary. ''[Bob's jaw goes slack. He scribbles "BIG$"]'' Call the number on the card. Voice-matching will be used to ensure security. The supers aren’t gone, Mr. Incredible. You’re still here...You can still do great things! Or...you can listen to police scanners. Your choice. You have 24 hours to respond. Think about it.<br />
:''[The device shuts off. Bob realizes what Mirage said....and he looks at his past, knowing that this one chance could bring his glory days back...he then looks at his old suit, with a smile.]''<br />
:''[Beeping, as Mirage's phone number is printed on a holographic card.]''<br />
:'''Tablet:''' This...message...will...self-destruct.<br />
:'''Bob:''' Uh-oh.<br />
:''[He stumbles out of the office in a cloud of smoke. The smoke rises and triggers the fire alarm and sprinkler system. Violet shuts off panel, while Dash expresses joy.]''<br />
:''[Helen is moving the chairs from the table; the front door is open to air out the house. Books of all kinds are on the counter as Bob uses a hair dryer to dry the pages]''<br />
:'''Helen:''' You...are one distracted guy.<br />
:'''Bob:''' Hmm? Am I? I don’t mean to be.<br />
:'''Helen:''' I know you miss being a hero and your job is frustrating. I just want you to know how much it means to me that you stay at it anyway.<br />
:'''Bob:''' Honey? About the job?<br />
:'''Helen:''' What?<br />
:'''Bob:''' Something’s happened.<br />
:'''Helen:''' ''[concerned]'' '''What?'''<br />
:'''Bob:''' The, uh...<br />
:'''Helen:''' '''''What...'''''<br />
:'''Bob:''' The company is sending me to, uh, a conference.<br />
:'''Helen:''' A conference?<br />
:'''Bob:''' ''[stammering]'' Out of town. And I’m just gonna be gone for a few days.<br />
:'''Helen:''' They’ve never sent you to a conference before.... This is good, isn’t it?<br />
:'''Bob:''' ''[hesitating]'' Yes.<br />
:'''Helen:''' You see? They’re finally recognizing your talents.... you’re moving up!<br />
:'''Bob:''' Yes.<br />
:'''Helen:''' Honey! Awww...This is wonderful!<br />
:'''Bob:''' Yes, it is.<br />
:''[calls the number on the card. Mirage's number is shown: 866-787-7476]''<br />
:'''Mirage:''' ''[over phone]'' Hello?<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' This is Mr. Incredible....I’m in.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[A sleek-looking Manta Jet slices the sky. Bob, clad in his old (and now too-tight) Mr. Incredible suit is on board along with Mirage. She is briefing Bob on his mission.]''<br />
:'''Mirage:''' The Omnidroid 9000 is a top-secret prototype battle robot. Its artificial intelligence enables it to solve any problem it’s confronted with. And unfortunately...<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Let me guess. It got smart enough to wonder why it had to take orders.<br />
:'''Mirage:''' We lost control. And now it’s loose in the jungle, threatening our facility. We’ve had to evacuate all personnel from the island for their own safety.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' How am I going in?<br />
:'''Mirage:''' The Omnidroid’s defenses necessitate an airdrop from 5,000 feet. Its cloaking devices make it difficult to track. Although we’re pretty sure it’s on the southern half of the island. One more thing. Obviously, it represents a significant investment.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' You want me to shut it down without completely destroying it.<br />
:'''Mirage:''' You '''''are''''' Mr. Incredible.<br />
:''[Bob is on an advanced seat, he puts his belt on, and the seat shifts into a bed, as it is about to enter a shuttle. However, being out of shape is causing a problem to get him into the shuttle. The soldier then increases the seat power and it successfully gets Mr. Incredible in the shuttle.]''<br />
:'''Mirage:''' I’ve got to warn you, it’s a learning robot. Every moment you spend fighting it only increases its knowledge of how to beat you.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Shut it down. Do it quickly. Don’t destroy it.<br />
:'''Mirage:''' And '''''don’t die.'''''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Great. Thanks.<br />
:''[The shuttle ejects. It rockets down the island. After stopping, it propels with two blades. After a while, it lands. Mr. Incredible tries to get out, but his belly won't let him out. He goes back in and punches the shuttle in half. He flexes and gets ready.]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Showtime.<br />
:''[He explores the jungle, prepares to find the Omnidroid.]''<br />
:''[He sees a blade mark on a tree and a cross on the grass. Suddenly, the Omnidroid surprises him from behind, as it tries to impale him unsuccessfully. It slashes a 3rd time, only against a mark on Mr. Incredible's arm. Mr. Incredible leaps over the robot and throws a punch that sends it flying to a tree.]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' ''[gruntingly]'' Yeah!<br />
:''[The Omnidroid gets up, and the real fight begins.]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Uh-oh.<br />
:''[The Omnidroid charges at him, as he leaps over. The robot unfortunately calculated his leaping arc, and that allowed it to swat him mid-air, slamming Mr. Incredible into another tree that toppled onto the Omnidroid. But the robot rolled out of its way, and reformed. The robot curled up again to crush him, only for Mr. Incredible to dodge it, as it knocks down some trees before charging at him quickly. Mr. Incredible sprints his way off, but he almost gets crushed by the robot as he jumps over a cliff, slides on it, and lands. The Omnidroid arrives at a similar pace, as it receives a boulder from our hero. The Omnidroid does the same 3 times, the latter hitting Mr. Incredible. It almost impales him unsuccessfully. Its claw is lodged in the cliff, as the hero runs for safety. The Omnidroid pulls its limb out of the cliff and leaps high into the air, intent on crushing Mr. Incredible, who leapt out of the way and landed in the lava fields. The Omnidroid lands and makes an attempt to push Mr. Incredible into the lava as he tried to push back. After a few seconds however, he lets out a scream while using his maximum strength and jerk-pulls the robot aside into the lava.]''<br />
:''[Bob laughs in what he thought was his victory, but after trying to spin, his spine cracks.]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' AH! Ow, ow, ow! OH, MY BACK!<br />
:''[The Omnidroid suddenly bursts out of the lava through a piece of the stone platform, making it crack. It proceeds to spin its claws, as Mr. Incredible leaps on a chunk of rock. But then the Omnidroid grabs him by his feet with one of its claws and slams him to the ground before grabbing his arms with another. It begins to pull him apart.... until it stops when it accidentally fixes his back.]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Oh....Hahaha!<br />
:''[He then jack-knifes, ripping the claw off one of its arms. He runs under the robot, as it uses its lower sensor cluster. Just as it spots its target, he rips it off, and climbs inside the robot, as it unintentionally starts damaging itself. After a while, it stops, weakened. Mr. Incredible punches off its upper sensor cluster, as it whistles while <nowiki>''</nowiki>riding<nowiki>''</nowiki> the robot. The robot tries to pull him out, but it accidentally tears out its CPU. Mr. Incredible jumps out of the robot and casually walks away, as the Omnidroid motionlessly falls down.]''<br />
:''[A mecha-macaw observed everything, as it zooms to the screen.]''<br />
:'''Syndrome:''' ''[first words; silhouetted, to Mirage]'' Surprising. We must bring him back. Sound the all-clear, and…invite him to dinner.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Mr. Incredible is in a pod, inside the volcano's magma flows. He waits for Mirage in a huge dining room, while peeking to see who the mysterious man was.]''<br />
:'''Syndrome:''' ''[silhouetted]'' Most important, keep things light. Praise him. Make him feel like we appreciate his abilities.<br />
:''[He hides back and pretends to have waited long enough.]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Am I overdressed?<br />
:'''Mirage:''' Actually, you look rather dashing.<br />
:''[They head to the dining table and sit.]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' I take it our host is...<br />
:'''Mirage:''' Oh, I'm sorry. He won't be dining with us. He hopes you'll understand.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Of course. I do usually make it a point to know who I’m working for.<br />
:'''Mirage:''' He prefers a certain amount of anonymity. Surely, you of all people understand that.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' I was just wondering, of all the places to settle down, why live...<br />
:'''Mirage''': In a volcano? He’s attracted to power. So am I. It’s a weakness we share.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Seems a bit unstable.<br />
:'''Mirage:''' I prefer to think of it as misunderstood.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible)''' ''[chuckling]:'' Aren’t we all?<br />
:'''Mirage:''' Volcanic soil is among the most fertile on Earth. Everything at the table was grown right here. How does it compare?<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Everything’s delicious.<br />
:''[Bob raises his glass. Mirage smiles and does likewise]''<br />
:''[MONTAGE: INCREDIBLE AGAIN — His self-esteem back, Bob returns home with renewed vigor. He bonds with his kids, gets frisky with Helen, and takes pride in his new appearance. He buys a new snazzy sports car for himself, and a new car for Helen. After he says goodbye to Helen several mornings, clearly pretending to go off to the job he no longer holds at Insuricare, we see how he's actually spending his days; dropping weight and getting in shape. The Superheroic workouts do their job; Bob is in the best shape he's been in many years.]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Bob, now dressed in a more expensive and tailored version of his Insuricare suit, pauses to examine the torn spot on his Mr. Incredible supersuit]''<br />
:'''Bob:''' Ah, jeez.<br />
:'''Helen:''' Hurry, honey! Or you’ll be late for work! ''[Bob quickly stuffs his SUPERSUIT into his briefcase and snaps it shut.]'' Have a great day, honey.<br />
:'''Bob:''' Thanks.<br />
:'''Helen:''' Help customers, climb ladders...<br />
:'''Bob:''' Bring bacon?<br />
:'''Helen:''' All that jazz.<br />
:''[Bob drives away. He pulls up to an imposing gate, a futuristic web of parallel laser beams. He turns toward a video screen and presses a button beneath it. The video screen lights up, revealing a burly guard]''<br />
:'''Guard:''' You have an appointment?<br />
:'''Bob:''' I’m an old friend. I just wanted to...<br />
:'''Guard:''' All visitors are required to make a reser—<br />
:''[The guard suddenly flinches from something below camera, and is shooed offscreen by a strident, husky female voice. A pair of huge glasses fronting the top half of a head rises into the bottom half of the screen, out of focus. This is Edna Mode, known by her friends simply as "E."]''<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' ''[shoos the guard away]'' Get back to work! Go check the electric fence or something! What is it? Who are you? What do you want?<br />
:''[Bob lowers his sunglasses]''<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' Yes, you’ve gotten fat. Come in, Come, come!<br />
:''[The gate opens, and Bob drives up the long driveway that winds up the hill to E's tastefully arty palace.]''<br />
:''[E leads Bob through the tasteful, minimalistic entranceway into her massive living room. E is in her early sixties, half German, half Japanese, and like both of those small countries, not to be underestimated.]''<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' Yes, things are going quite well. Quite well. My God, no complaints. But, you know, it is not the same. Not the same at all.<br />
:'''Bob:''' Weren’t you just in the news? Some show in Prayge...Prague?<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' Milan, darling. Milan. Supermodels. Ha! Nothing super about them. Spoiled, stupid, little stick figures with poofy lips who think only about themselves. Feh! I used to design for gods.... but perhaps you come with a challenge, eh? I was surprised to get your call.<br />
:'''Bob:''' E, I just need a patch job.<br />
:''[Bob hands E his damaged suit. She examines it, frowning.]''<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' Hmm. This is megamesh. Outmoded, but very sturdy. And you’ve torn '''''right through it'''''! What have you been '''''doing''''', Robert? Moonlighting hero work?<br />
:'''Bob:''' Musta happened a long time ago.<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' I see. This is a '''''hobo suit''''', darling, you can’t be seen in this! ''[throws it away]'' I won’t allow it! Fifteen years ago, maybe, but now?<br />
:'''Bob:''' ''[takes it out of the garbage]'' What do you mean? You designed it.<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' I never look back, darling. It distracts from the now. You need a new suit. That much is certain.<br />
:'''Bob:''' A new suit? Where the heck am I gonna get a new suit?<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' '''''You can't!''''' It’s impossible! I’m far too busy. So ask me now, before I again become sane....<br />
:'''Bob:''' Wait....you want... to make me... a suit?<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' You push too hard, darling! But I accept. It will be bold. Dramatic!<br />
:'''Bob:''' Yeah.<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' Heroic!<br />
:'''Bob:''' Yeah, something classic, like Dynaguy! Oh! He had a great look! Oh, the cape and the boots—<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' No capes! ''[She throws a paper ball at him.]''<br />
:'''Bob:''' Isn’t that '''''my decision'''''?<br />
:''[Unaccustomed to being questioned, E visibly stiffens.]''<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' Do you remember... Thunderhead?<br />
:''[FLASHBACK: THUNDERHEAD IN HIS PRIME --beefy and B-movie handsome, decked out in a splendid outfit with elegant floor-length cape.]''<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' ''[voiceover]'' Tall, storm powers. Nice man. Good with kids.<br />
:'''Bob:''' Listen, E...<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' November 15th of ‘58. ''[RESUME FLASHBACK — A madman aims a missile launcher at a city across a bay. Thunderhead leaps into frame, dispatches him with a single punched and turns the missile towards the open sea. His duty done, he turns and smiles at a young lady standing nearby, failing to notice that his cape has caught on the missile, voiceover, continued]'' All was well, another day saved, when— ''[The rocket blasts into the distance, taking Thunderhead with it, voiceover, continued]'' —his cape snagged on a missile fin. ''[INTERCUT: comically brief FLASHBACKS [as E describes them] of each Super being doomed by his or her cape.]''<br />
:'''Bob:''' Thunderhead was not the brightest bulb...<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' Stratogale! April 23rd, ‘57. Cape caught in a jet turbine. <br />
:'''Bob:''' E, you can’t generalize about these things.<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' Meta-Man, Express elevator! Dynaguy, snagged on takeoff! Splashdown, sucked into a vortex! <big><big><big>'''''NO CAPES!!!'''''</big></big></big> Now, go on. Your new suit will be finished before your next assignment.<br />
:'''Bob:''' You know I’m retired from hero work.<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' As am I, Robert. Yet here we are.<br />
:'''Bob:''' E, I only need a patch job. For... sentimental reasons.<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' ''[she sighs begrudgingly]'' Fine. I will '''''also''''' fix the hobo suit...<br />
:'''Bob:''' You’re the best of the best, E.<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' Yes, I know, darling. ''[whispering]'' I know.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Cut to Casa de Parr where Helen, in the bedroom, plucks one of Bob's enormous shirts from a stack of freshly cleaned laundry and hangs it up in their closet, when something catches her eye: A long, PLATINUM-BLONDE HAIR (Mirage's) on Bob's suit jacket. Helen plucks it off, examining it. The phone rings. She goes to answer it, hesitating when she hears—]''<br />
:'''Bob:''' ''[off-screen, in his home office]'' I got it, I got it! Don’t answer it, honey, I got it!<br />
:''[Helen frowns. There's something suspicious about Bob's eagerness.]''<br />
:'''Bob:''' Hello?<br />
:'''Mirage:''' ''[from the Nomanisan Control Room]'' We have a new assignment for you.<br />
:''[Helen, in the bedroom, carefully picks up the phone, puts her finger on the switch hook, places a hand over the mouthpiece, and listens in]''<br />
:'''Mirage:''' How soon can you get here?<br />
:'''Bob:''' I’ll leave tomorrow morning.<br />
:'''Mirage:''' See you there.<br />
:'''Bob:''' Goodbye.<br />
:''[Bob hangs up the phone and moves to the door, opening it. Helen is there, blocking the doorway. She forces a smile.]''<br />
:'''Helen:''' Who was that, honey? The, uh, office?<br />
:'''Bob:''' Another conference. Short notice, but you know...duty calls. ''[nervous laugh. Bob squeezes past her and exits. Helen stares into his den, feeling suspicious and impotent.]''<br />
:''[cut to the garage where Bob is seated in his new sports car, its engine purring. He belts himself in. Helen enters, still in her robe.]''<br />
:'''Helen:''' Bob?<br />
:'''Bob:''' Yeah, what’s up, honey?<br />
:'''Helen:''' ''[A storm of conflicting emotions play across her face. But she puts on a happy face and leans down through his open window.]'' Ha....have a great trip.<br />
:'''Bob:''' Thanks, sweetie. I’ll call you when I get there.<br />
:'''Helen:''' I love you... so much.<br />
:''[Something in her voice makes Bob hesitate. He looks back at her, curious]''<br />
:'''Bob:''' I love you too.<br />
:''[He gives her a kiss, then backs out of the driveway, and, with a wave, drives off.]''<br />
:''[Bob is now on Syndrome's Manta Jet. Leaner and meaner in his new supersuit, he dips a fresh shrimp into some cocktail sauce and gazes around the luxurious cabin. He's happy as a clam.]''<br />
:'''Manta Jet Autopilot:''' This is your automated Captain speaking. Would you care for more mimosa?<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Don’t mind if I do. Thanks.<br />
:''[His glass disappears into his armrest, instantly replaced by a full glass of mimosa.]''<br />
:'''Manta Jet Autopilot:''' You’re welcome. Currently 78 degrees in Nomanisan. Perfect weather for flying. Please fasten your seatbelt. We’re beginning our descent.<br />
:''[As the jet begins its descent toward the island, we begin to see its spectacular aspects: active volcano, towering snowcapped peak, tumbling waterfalls, futuristic monorail, etc.... a paradise on earth. Suddenly the engines cut off and the jet plunges, nose down, into the sea, converting into a submersible.]''<br />
:''[The jet sub cruises through a fantastic seascape of exotic otherworldly rock formations, toward the base of the island through vast curtains of bubbles created from a field of cooling lava. A massive door opens, revealing a huge underwater docking bay. The ship enters, the entrance closing behind them. The water drains. The jet sub settles to a landing. A giant docking tube extends from a side wall and connects to the side of the jet sub. Bob turns as a door opens, revealing a small side chamber and a pair of shapely legs. Mirage leans into view.]''<br />
:'''Mirage:''' Hello, Mr. Incredible. Nice suit.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Thanks. Nice to be back, Mirage.<br />
:''[Bob enters the monopod. The doors shut and it takes off. The monopod zooms along a track which rises from a tunnel beneath the lagoon and sweeps through the jungle. Although this is his second time here, Bob is seeing the island with new eyes. It is a WONDER. The monopod track disappears straight into a rushing waterfall. Suddenly the waterfall parts, the water separating like an enormously long chiffon curtain, revealing the intricately designed architecture hidden underneath. Continuing as it enters a vertical tube and zooms upward into the dark. Elevator doors slide open crisply. Bob enters and takes in the room. It is small, open and tasteful, with a balcony overlooking a breathtaking view of the jungle and the ocean beyond.]''<br />
:'''Mirage:''' You’ll be briefed on your assignment in the conference room at two. D Wing, room A-113.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' 2:00. Got it.<br />
:'''Mirage:''' See you there.<br />
:''[Mirage leaves. Bob enters, throwing his case on the bed. He grabs a pear from a bowl of fresh fruit and takes a bite. He steps out on his balcony and leans against the railing. He could get used to paradise.]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Helen vacuums the hallway next to Bob's office. She vacuums the carpet near the door, hears the vacuum pick up filth and groans before entering the room. She begins to vacuum the office and notices the door displaying Bob's old supersuit is open. She observes the suit and notices a rip in the left arm of the suit has been fixed]''<br />
:'''Helen:''' ''[gasps, realizing who repaired the suit]'' Edna? I'd like to speak with Edna.<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' This is Edna.<br />
:'''Helen:''' E? This is Helen.<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' Helen who?<br />
:'''Helen:''' Helen Parr? You know... Elastigirl.<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' Darling! ''[Helen nearly drops the phone]'' It’s been such a long time after all these years! So long!<br />
:'''Helen:''' Yes, yes, yes. It’s been a while. Listen, there’s only one person Bob would trust to patch his supersuit and that’s you.<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' Yes, yes, yes. Marvelous, isn’t it? Much better than those horrible pajamas he used to wear. They are finished. When are you coming to see?<br />
:'''Helen:''' Look, I’m calling about...<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' Don’t make me beg, darling. I won’t do it, you know.<br />
:'''Helen:''' Beg? Uh, no. I’m calling about suit. Ab-about Bob’s suit! I’m calling about Bob’s suit!<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' You come in one hour, darling. I insist, okay? Okay. Goodbye.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Bob enters the conference room. No one is there. He checks the wall clock: two o'clock. He decides to enter and takes a seat at the table. There are some strange, low sounds. Then the far wall slides open, revealing the outdoors and — a bigger, badder Omnidroid.]''<br />
:''[Bob turns to run, but the Omnidroid is fast. It grabs him and flings him into the outside air. Bob sails to the edge of the jungle, landing with a thud. Before he can react, the robot has him again and slams him into the ground. A voice comes over a loudspeaker.]''<br />
:'''Syndrome:''' '''''It’s bigger! It’s badder!'''''<br />
:''[The robot seizes Bob in one giant claw, turning two others into whirling blades. They close in on Bob's neck — when Syndrome descends from the sky on jet-boots, landing on top of the enormous robot]''<br />
:'''Syndrome:''' '''''Ladies and gentlemen, it's... too much for Mr. Incredible!'''''<br />
:''[Syndrome reveals himself.]''<br />
:'''Syndrome:''' Whoa, Whoa! Whoa! It’s finally ready! ''[He shuts down the blades of the Omnidroid.]'' You know, I went through quite a few supers to get it worthy to fight you, but man, it wasn’t good enough!! After you trashed the last one, I had to make some major modifications. Sure it was difficult, but you are worth it. I mean, after all... I am your biggest fan.<br />
:''[Bob suddenly recognizes some familiarity with his rejected sidekick]''<br />
:'''Bob:''' Buddy?<br />
:'''Syndrome:''' ''[furiously yells at Mr. Incredible]'' My name is not... <big><big><big>'''''BUDDY!!!!'''''</big></big></big> ''[The Omnidroid throws Bob on the floor. Syndrome lands]'' And it’s not Incrediboy either! That ship has sailed. All I wanted was to help you. I only wanted to '''''HELP! AND WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?!''''' ''[flashback to a shot from the prologue, softened by memory.]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Fly home, Buddy. I work alone. ''[Buddy, still in his IncrediBoy costume, but without the mask, glowers up at his poster to Mr. Incredible and tears it off the wall]''<br />
:'''Syndrome''' ''[as the flashback ends]'': It tore me apart. But I learned an important lesson: You can’t count on anyone. '''Especially''' your heroes.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' I was wrong to treat you that way. I’m sorry!<br />
:'''Syndrome:''' See? Now you respect me, because I’m a ''threat''. That’s the way it works. Turns out there’s a lot of people, whole countries who want respect. And they will pay through the nose to get it. How do you think I got rich? I build weapons. And now I have a weapon only I can defeat. And when I unleash it, I’ll get— Ah! ''[Mr. Incredible throws a log at Syndrome, but he dodges it hastily. He gets back up and freezes Mr. Incredible with a zero-point energy beam]'' ''[laughing]'' You sly dog! You got me monologuing! I can’t believe it. ''[He slams Bob into the ground.]'' It’s cool, huh? Zero-point energy. I saved the best powers for myself. ''[He continues throwing Bob around with the ZPE ray.]'' Am I good enough now? Who’s super now? I’m Syndrome! Your nemesis and- ''[He makes a grandiose gesture with his arms, inadvertently flinging Mr. Incredible into the jungle.]'' Oh, brilliant. ''[Bob lands somewhere on a lake. Syndrome spots him and flies towards him. Bob jumps down while Syndrome watches him falling into the bade of a waterfall. He taps a button in his wrist cuff, which activates a tiny bomb.]'' All right, try this one on for size, big boy. ''[He drops it to the base of the waterfall. Bob spots the bomb as he tries to swim away from it, although he is soon caught in the blast. He emerges out of the water, gasping, in a cave system. He turns his head, and leaps back, realizing he is face to face with a skeleton. Slowly, he moves back towards the skeleton, noticing that it has an eye visor and a cape. He rubs some dirt from the emblem over the eyes: the emblem reads "GB".]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Gazerbeam? ''[The skeleton is still sitting up, and Bob is compelled to follow its gaze to the adjacent cave wall. There — presumably in his dying moments, Gazerbeam had burned a word into the rock: "KRONOS".]'' Kronos? ''[He suddenly hears a probe entering the cave. He hides behind Gazerbeam's skeleton. The probe scans the room, does a quick scan of Gazerbeam's skeleton and leaves. The view cuts to the probe returning to Syndrome's wrist cuff.]''<br />
:'''Probe:''' Life reading negative. Mr. Incredible terminated. ''[Syndrome walks away in a satisfied smile for his plans.]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Cut to Edna's palace; E and Helen are walking down the hallway to her lab]''<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' This project has completely confiscated my life, darling. Consumed me as only hero work can. My best work, I must admit. Simple, elegant, yet bold. You will die.<br />
:'''Helen:''' E, I just...<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' I did Robert’s suit, and it turned out so beautiful, I had to continue.<br />
:'''Helen:''' E, it’s great to see you, but I gotta tell you I have no idea what you’re talking about. I just...<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' Yes, words are useless. Gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble! Too much of it, darling. TOO MUCH! That is why I '''''show you''''' my work. That is why you are here!<br />
:''[She turns to the wall and rapidly executes an elaborate series of security measures; punches a fifteen-digit code with her left hand, while pressing her right hand against a biometric scanner. It flashes, as she exposes her eyes to a retinal scan which causes a microphone to extend from the wall to her lips]''<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' Edna Mode. ''[In a flash: a ceiling panel opens, and out pops an enormous gun, which trains its sights on Helen. E sees this, turns back to the microphone, adding hastily]'' And guest. ''[The weapons retreat]''<br />
:''[The gun retreats into the ceiling. The wall in front of them opens dramatically, revealing Edna's testing lab. A large, ultra-sophisticated work area, dedicated to the design, fabrication, and testing of superhero suits. E crosses to a large, raised platform mounted to a track running parallel to a glassed-in chamber, and sits in one of the two chairs facing it. Between the chairs is a small table with a fresh pot of coffee and assorted cookies. E motions Helen to join her]''<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' Come. Sit. Cream and sugar?<br />
:''[Hands Helen the cup of coffee]''<br />
:'''Helen:''' Thanks.<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' I started with the baby.<br />
:'''Helen:''' '''''Started?'''''<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' Shh! Darling! Shh! ''[Inside the chamber, a panel opens. A small, featureless baby mannequin in a tiny red suit (sporting the same "i" insignia as Bob's) mounted to a post emerges, tracking slowly from one end of the chamber to the other.]'' I cut it a little roomy for the free movement. The fabric is comfortable for sensitive skin ''[Helen jumps back as E continues talking. Flamethrowers throw fire at the suit without leaving burn marks]'' and can also withstand a temperature of over 1000 degrees. Completely bulletproof. ''[machine guns train on the suit and empty rounds into it without causing any damage]'' And machine washable, darling. That’s a new feature.<br />
:'''Helen:''' What '''''on Earth''''' do you think the baby will be doing??<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' Well, I’m sure I '''''don’t know''''', darling. Luck favors the prepared. I didn’t know the baby’s powers, so I covered the basics.<br />
:'''Helen:''' Jack-Jack doesn’t have any powers.<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' No? Well, he’ll look fabulous anyway.<br />
:''[As the baby suit exits one end, the panel reopens on the other side. Another mannequin Dash's size swings into the smoky chamber; its arms and legs slowly churning in a "running" motion which gradually accelerates into a blur.]''<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' Your boy’s suit I designed to withstand enormous friction without heating up or wearing out. A useful feature. ''[The Dash suit departs into the wall as a new suit enters. It's Violet's.]'' Your daughter’s suit was tricky. But I finally created a sturdy material that will disappear completely as she does. ''[it briefly disappears and then reappears. Helen's suit moves into view. Robot arms enter from above and below, clamp to the sleeves of the arms and pants, and begin to pull them while twisting them]'' Your suit can stretch as far as you can, without injuring yourself, ''[the suit gets stretched]'' and still retain its shape. Virtually indestructible... ''[two missiles fire at the suit, but the suit sustains no damage]'' yet it breathes like Egyptian cotton. As an extra feature, each suit contains a homing device, giving you the precise global location of the wearer at the touch of a button. ''[hands Helen one, showing the tracking location of one of the suits, specifically Bob's]'' Well, darling? What do you think?<br />
:'''Helen:''' What do I think? '''''Bob''''' is retired! '''''I’m''''' retired! Our family is underground. You helped my husband resume secret hero work behind my back?!<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' Well, I assumed you '''''knew''''', darling. Why would he keep secrets from '''''you'''''?<br />
:'''Helen:''' He wouldn’t. Didn’t. Doesn’t.<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' Men at Robert’s age are often unstable. Prone to weakness.<br />
:'''Helen:''' What are you saying?<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' Do you know where he is?<br />
:'''Helen:''' Of....cours-<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' Do you '''''know...''''' where he is?<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Back in Nomanisan, Bob is hiding in brush at the top of a cliff. Along the waterline far below, a monopod streaks toward him along a track which curves around the coastline. Bob crouches... and dives — we fall with him, whistling through the air until we hit a palm tree. The palm bends, slowing Bob's drop before he expertly releases it and drops into another palm directly below it. Bob leaps onto the roof of the pod, quickly dispatching the guards inside, tossing them into the ocean. Bob seats himself at the controls, as the pod races toward Syndrome's base and a security checkpoint. Two guards look up as they hear the monopod approach. A sparking wheel carriage arrives at the gate, its cab completely torn off and missing. Suddenly alert, the guards cock their guns and aim into the dark. We hear a distant grunt. A moment later the cab falls from the sky, crashing on top of the guards. Bob runs through the wrecked gate, toward the base. Bob pulls up behind some trees. There are several guards; two at the vehicle entrance, another at the balcony above. Bob thinks a bit, looks down and finds a coconut. With expert precision, he throws it at the balcony guard, beaning him. He falls off the balcony and hits the ground.]''<br />
:''[voice on radio]''<br />
:'''Guard 1:''' Hey, hey. We got a man down!<br />
:'''Guard 2:''' Come on, let’s go.<br />
:'''Guard 2:''' Are you okay? What happened?<br />
:''[over radio]'' Break surveillance and engage. Continuing sweep...<br />
:''[The other guards rush to help him, leaving their post. Bob runs up to the vehicle entrance — it's locked tight. Bob sees shadows of guards approaching, he's out in the open and about to be caught when — the door suddenly sweeps up and opens, taking Bob with it. A medical transport comes out of the open bay, and as the door moves closed behind it, we see Bob drop into the garage. Elevator. Bob emerges in the dining hall and stares at the lava fall. He knows there is a secret passage behind it. He picks up a large stone sculpture in the shape of a Moai head and readies to run into the lava fall. One... two... thr— Bob is startled by a flash of light behind the fall; the passage is opening. He loses his balance, struggling to set the massive sculpture back into place before Mirage enters. Bob rushes into the closing passage. Jumps clear just as passage closes. A series of parallel floor lights click on. Bob follows them to an elaborate chair in the center of the room, lit from above. Bob sits down in the chair. A giant. curved screen lights up in front of him, with a blinking cursor in its center. Bob types in "KRONOS". The computer screen refreshes: Bob is in.]''<br />
:''[Switch back to Helen and E]''<br />
:'''Woman:''' ''[over phone]'' Insuricare.<br />
:'''Helen:''' Oh, hello. This is Helen Parr. Bob Parr is my husband. I was wondering if you could give me the number of the hotel he’s staying at. The number I have is, uh, no good.<br />
:'''Woman:''' Mr. Parr no longer works at Insuricare.<br />
:'''Helen:''' ''[confused]'' What do you mean? He’s on a business trip. A company retreat.<br />
:'''Woman:''' My records say his employment was terminated almost two months ago.<br />
:''[Switch back to Bob. After apparently searching one of the information sectors, he proceeds to go to the <nowiki>''</nowiki>Supers<nowiki>''</nowiki> sector. He presses "return", and it's a slideshow of the superheroes and the older Omnidroids.]''<br />
:''[The sequence is as follows:]''<br />
:''[Universal Man - Terminated by Omnidroid v.X1]''<br />
:''[Psycwave - Terminated by Omnidroid v.X1]''<br />
:''[Everseer - Terminated by Omnidroid v.X1]''<br />
:''[Macroburst - Terminated Omnidroid v.X1]''<br />
:''[Macroburst - Terminated by Omnidroid v.X2]''<br />
:''[Phylangue - Terminated by Omnidroid v.X2]''<br />
:''[Blazestone - Terminated by Omnidroid v.X2]''<br />
:''[Switch back to Helen and E. Helen's call ends, as she worries for Bob.]''<br />
:''[Switch back again to Bob in the Computer room. The sequence continues.]''<br />
:''[Downburst - Terminated by Omnidroid v.X3]''<br />
:''[Hyper Shock - Terminated Omnidroid v.X3]''<br />
:''[Hyper Shock - Terminated by Omnidroid v.X4]''<br />
:''[Apogee - Terminated by Omnidroid v.X4]''<br />
:''[Unknown Super - Terminated by Omnidroid v.X4]''<br />
:''[Blitzerman - Terminated by Omnidroid v.X4]''<br />
:''[Tradewind - Terminated by Omnidroid v.X4]''<br />
:''[Vectress - Terminated by Omnidroid v.X4]''<br />
:''[Unknown Super - Terminated by Omnidroid v.X4]''<br />
:''[Gazerbeam - Terminated Omnidroid v.X4]''<br />
:''[Gazerbeam - Terminated by Omnidroid v.X5]''<br />
:''[Stormicide - Terminated by Omnidroid v.X5]''<br />
:''[Gamma Jack - Terminated Omnidroid v.X5]''<br />
:''[Gamma Jack - Terminated by Omnidroid v.X6]''<br />
:''[Unknown Super - Terminated Omnidroid v.X6]''<br />
:''[Switch back to Helen and E.]''<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' So, you don’t know where he is.<br />
:''[She shows a tracking device to Helen.]''<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' Would you like to find out...?<br />
:''[Switch back to Bob; the sequence has ended.]''<br />
:''[He types "Elastigirl" into the search engine and the screen displays her location as "UNKNOWN". He gives a relieved sigh. Helen reluctantly takes the homing locator from E and stares at it; not sure she wants to know what it may tell her. He then types <nowiki>''</nowiki>Frozone<nowiki>''</nowiki> into the search engine and the screen displays his location as <nowiki>''</nowiki>KNOWN<nowiki>''</nowiki>. Shortly after, he types himself on the search engine. The screen displays him as <nowiki>''</nowiki>TERMINATED<nowiki>''</nowiki> by the Omnidroid v.X9. Cut back to E and Helen. E gives the tracker device to Helen. Cut back to Mr. Incredible in the Computer Room. He is now looking at Syndrome's master plan, which seems to indicate unleashing the Omnidroid on Municiberg, and then Operation Kronos's sequence begins. It shows the Omnidroid v.10. Then, Mr. Incredible goes through the phases]''<br />
:''[First Phase: Secure the Omnidroid into a Rocketship.]''<br />
:''[Second Phase: Launch the Rocket towards Metroville.]''<br />
:''[Third Phase: Destroy the city with the robot deployed.]''<br />
:''[The countdown begins, showing 8 hours, 10 minutes and 39 seconds until the Omnidroid is launched. Mr. Incredible retreats. Cut Back to Helen. Helen presses the locator button on the homing tracker. On the viewscreen, the locator isolates a remote island. As the dot over the "i" on his chest-logo lights up. We hear a beeping noise. Mr. Incredible looks down in surprise. An alarm sounds as the room is awash in bright light. Unwittingly, Helen has exposed him. Mr. Incredible races for the exit but is hit by sticky, expanding and pressure absorbent orbs fired from guns lining the walls, which inflate, quickly making it impossible to run. Mr. Incredible falls to the floor, swallowed up by the expanding goo. From his POV: The expanding goo-balls fill up the POV but not before Bob makes out the recognizable figure approaching him: Mirage. Cut back to E and Helen in her kitchen. Coffee has been made and partially consumed. The morning paper, still rolled, rests on the table. Helen, eyes reddened from crying, blows her nose into a wadded length of toilet paper handed to her by a mildly disgusted E.]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Helen:''' Oh, I am such an idiot. I let this happen, you know. The new sports car, the getting in shape, the blond hair, the lies...<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' ''[coldly]'' Yes, he attempts to relive the past. ''[she uses the rolled-up newspaper to sweep Helen’s used tissues into a square hole in the island which incinerates them]''<br />
:'''Helen:''' Now I'm losing him! ''[crying]'' What'll I do?<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' '''''What are you talking about?'''''<br />
:'''Helen:''' ''[Stops sobbing; looks at E]'' Hmm?<br />
:'''Edna Mode:''' You are Elastigirl! My God, '''''pull...yourself...together'''''! ''[whacks Helen with the rolled-up newspaper]'' What will you do? Is this a question?! You will show him you remember that '''''he''''' is Mr. Incredible, and you will '''''remind him''''' who '''''you are!''''' Well, you know where he is. Go, confront the problem, fight, '''WIN!''' ''[there's no pauses]'' And call me when you get back, darling, I enjoy our visits.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Helen is at home, talking with Violet while walking down the hallway to her bedroom]''<br />
:'''Helen:''' There’s lots of leftovers that you can reheat. Make sure Dash does his homework. And both of you, get to bed '''''on time'''''. I should be back tonight. Late. You can be in charge that long, can’t you?<br />
:'''Violet:''' Yeah. But why am I in charge again?<br />
:'''Helen:''' Nothing. Just a little trouble with Daddy.<br />
:'''Violet:''' You mean Dad’s '''''in trouble''''', or Dad '''''is the trouble'''''?<br />
:'''Helen:''' I mean either he’s '''''in trouble''''', or he’s '''''going to be'''''.<br />
:''[Helen goes into her room to pack. Then, she sees Dash. Not wanting him to see the super suits, she shuts the door, then Dash runs to the window and Helen closes the curtains, then he runs to the other window and then Helen closes the curtains.]''<br />
:'''Dash:''' Hey! What’s that? Where’d you get that, Mom? You made a cool outfit? Hey, are those for us? We all get cool outfits? Ha-ha!<br />
:'''Helen:''' Dash! You come back here this moment!<br />
:''[phone rings]''<br />
:'''Helen:''' Hey, Snug. Thanks for getting back. I know this is short notice, but I was hoping that I could get you to...<br />
:'''Violet:''' What are these? ''[Holds up a red costume, similar to Bob's new super suit]''<br />
:''[Helen takes the suit from Violet]''<br />
:'''Dash:''' ''[Dressed in one of the suits and looking at himself in the mirror]'' Look, I’m The Dash! The Dash likes!<br />
:'''Helen:''' Just a second. ''[to Dash]'' Take that off before somebody sees you.<br />
:'''Violet:''' But you’re packing one just like it. Are you hiding something?<br />
:'''Helen:''' Oh, please, honey. I’m on the phone...<br />
:'''Dash:''' ''[snags one of the suits]'' Yikes!<br />
:'''Helen:''' Dash!<br />
:'''Dash:''' ''[Handing a suit to Violet]'' Yikes! This is yours. It’s specially made.<br />
:'''Violet:''' What’s going on?<br />
:'''Helen:''' ''[Shoving both kids out of the bedroom]'' '''You’re not coming! And I’ve gotta pack!'''<br />
:'''Violet:''' So, what makes you think it’s special?<br />
:'''Dash:''' I dunno. Why’d Mom try to '''''hide it'''''?<br />
:''[Violet makes her arm vanish. She touches the suit and the suit vanishes. She gasps.]''<br />
:'''Helen:''' Snug, I’m calling in a solid ya owe me.<br />
:'''Snug''' ''[over phone]'': What do you need?<br />
:'''Helen:''' A jet. What do ya got that’s fast? ''[looking at a picture of her and Snug]''<br />
:'''Snug''' ''[over phone]'': Let me think...<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[The jet soars through the golden late-afternoon sky. Helen pilots the jet as she speaks into her headset.]''<br />
:'''Helen:''' Island approach. India Golf Niner-Niner checking in. VFR on top. Over.<br />
:''[No response. Helen checks the instruments, confirms her course. She tries again.]''<br />
:'''Helen:''' Island tower, this is India Golf Niner-Niner requesting vectors to the initial. Over.<br />
:''[radio static]''<br />
:'''Helen''': Hmm.<br />
:''[An old sensation begins to creep into Helen's thoughts: danger. She grabs her duffel bag and zips it open, exposing the supersuit E made for her. She stares at it.]''<br />
:'''Helen:''' Easy, Helen. Easy. easy, girl. You're overreacting. Everything's fine. They're just — all getting coffee at...the same time. Yeah. ''[Helen mulls the explanation and decides it's ridiculous. She flips a switch — putting the jet on autopilot, grabs her suit and goes into the lavatory.]''<br />
:''[The scene cuts to Bob being held in a containment unit by his limbs. Syndrome walks towards him.]''<br />
:'''Syndrome:''' You, sir.... truly '''''are''''' Mr. Incredible. You know, I was right to idolize you. I... I-I always knew you were tough, but tricking the probe by hiding under the bones of another super? Oh, man! I’m still geekin' out about it! ''[sighs]'' And then you had to just.... '''''ruin the ride'''''. I mean, Mr. Incredible calling for help? ''[mocking]'' Help me, help me. Help! ''Lame...lame...lame,'' <big><big>'''''LAME, LAME!! ALL RIGHT, WHO DID YOU CONTACT?!'''''</big></big><br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' "Contact"? What are you talkin' about?<br />
:''[Syndrome has a guard shock him]''<br />
:'''Syndrome:''' I am referring to last night at 23:07 hours while you were '''''snooping around.''''' You sent out a homing signal.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' I didn’t '''''know''''' about the '''''homing device'''''.<br />
:''[The guard turns up the juice. Bob screams in agony.]''<br />
:'''Syndrome:''' And now a government '''''plane''''' is requesting permission to land here. '''''WHO DID YOU CONTACT?!'''''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' I didn’t send for a...a plane.<br />
:'''Syndrome:''' ''[to Mirage]'' Play the transmission! ''[Mirage hits the spacebar on the keyboard which activates the transmission]''<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' ''[via transmission]'' India golf Niner-Niner checking in. VFR on top. Over.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Helen...!<br />
:'''Syndrome:''' So you '''''do''''' know these people. Well, then, I’ll...send them a little greeting. ''[pushes a button deploying missiles]''<br />
:''[Elastigirl emerges from the lavatory dressed in her super suit. She throws her duffel bag roughly at an apparently empty passenger seat]''<br />
:'''Violet:''' Ow!<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Violet!<br />
:'''Violet:''' ''[as she materializes]'' It’s not my fault! Dash started it! He could have ran away, and I knew I’d get blamed for it--<br />
:'''Dash:''' That’s not true!<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Dash?!<br />
:'''Violet and Dash:''' ...and I thought he'd try to sneak on the plane so I came here and you closed the doors before I could find him and then you took off '''''and it's not my fault!''''' You said, "Something's up with Mom. We have to find out what!" It was your idea! Your idea! Hundred percent all-yours, all-the-time idea!<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Wait a minute, wait a minute. You left Jack-Jack '''''alone?!'''''<br />
:'''Violet and Dash:''' Yes, mom, I’m completely stupid...of course we got a sitter! Do you think I’m totally irresponsible? Thanks a lot! / No, we got someone, Mom. Someone great. We wouldn’t do that.<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' All right! Well, who’d ya get?<br />
:''[cut to Casa de Parr, where Kari is on the phone and Jack-Jack is in his hi-chair]''<br />
:'''Kari:''' You don’t have to worry about one single thing, Mrs. Parr. I’ve got this baby-sitting thing wired. I’ve taken courses and learned CPR and I got excellent marks and certificates...<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Kari.<br />
:'''Kari:''' I also brought Mozart to play while he sleeps to make him smarter because leading experts say Baby Mozart makes babies smarter.<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' '''''Kari...'''''<br />
:'''Kari:''' And the beauty part is that the babies don’t even have to listen ‘cause they’re asleep! You know, I wish my parents played Mozart when I slept because half the time, I don’t even know what the heck anyone’s talking about.<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Kari, I really don’t feel comfortable with this. I’ll pay you for your trouble, but I’d really rather call a service.<br />
:'''Kari:''' Oh, there’s really no need, Mrs. Parr. I can totally handle anything this baby can dish out. ''[cooing]'' Can’t I, little baby? I can handle it. Who can handle it?<br />
:''[Helen looks at the plane radar and sees several missiles headed towards the plane.]''<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' India Golf Niner-Niner transmitting in the blind guard. Disengage! Repeat, disengage!<br />
:''[The "fasten seat belts" sign above Dash and Violet lights up. They exchange glances, reach for their seat belts. The jet suddenly dives, throwing them into the ceiling.]''<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Disengage! Repeat, disengage! Friendlies...<br />
:''[cut back to the containment unit]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' No! Call off the missiles. I'll do anything.<br />
:'''Syndrome:''' Too late. ''[he shrugs]'' ''Fifteen years too late.''<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Friendlies at two-zero miles south-southwest of your position. Angels 10. Track east. Disengage, over! ''[to Violet]'' '''Vi!''' You have to put a force field around the plane!<br />
:'''Violet:''' But you said we weren't supposed to use our powers!<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' '''''I know what I said! Listen to what I'm saying now!''''' ''[on headset]'' Disengage. Repeat, disengage!<br />
:''[Dash looks outside to see the missiles.]''<br />
:'''Dash:''' ''[fearfully]'' Mom?<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' '''''Violet!''''' ''[Violet gets startled; via headset]'' Mayday, mayday! India Golf Niner-Niner is buddy-spiked! Abort, abort! There are children aboard, ''[heard through intercom]'' Say again, there are children aboard the plane.<br />
:''[cut back to containment unit]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' No!<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Put a field around us <big><big>'''NOW!!!'''</big></big><br />
:'''Violet:''' I've never done one that big!<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Violet, '''do it now!''' Abort, abort, abort! ''[via headset]'' Abort, abort, abort! ''[Violet weakly tries to create a force field in a short period of time]'' Abort, abort, abort! ''[She tries again unsuccessfully, then Helen rushes to protect her children from the explosion]''<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Abort, abort, abort!<br />
:''[The plane explodes, and Helen wraps around Violet and Dash. The three begin falling towards the ocean. Helen’s unconscious while Dash and Violet are screaming. Helen then wakes up to see her kids falling next to her. She grabs them and makes a parachute.]''<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Brace yourselves!<br />
:''[They land safely in the water. Helen emerges to see the two kids treading water.]''<br />
:'''Violet and Dash:''' Mom! Mom!<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Everybody calm down. Now, I’ll tell you what we’re not gonna do. We’re not gonna panic, we’re not gonna--'''LOOK OUT!!!'''<br />
:''[A turbine hits about 10 meters away from where the three are. Helen pushes Dash and Violet underwater. Dash and Violet swim back to the surface and Helen watches the missile hit the bottom and explode before swimming back up.]''<br />
:'''Dash and Violet:''' Oh, my goodness! Whose idea was this anyway?!/What are we gonna do?! What are we gonna do?!<br />
:'''Dash:''' We’re dead! We’re dead!<br />
:'''Violet:''' It blew up!<br />
:'''Dash:''' We survived but we’re dead!<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' ''[splashes Violet and Dash with ocean water]'' '''''HEY, STOP IT!''''' <big>'''''We are NOT gonna die! Now BOTH of you will GET A GRIP. Or SO help me I will GROUND you for a month! UNDERSTAND!?'''''</big><br />
:''[Back to the interrogation room.]''<br />
:'''Mirage:''' We have a confirmed hit. Target...was destroyed.<br />
:'''Syndrome:''' Ah, you’ll get over it. I seem to recall you preferred to...'''''work...alone...?'''''<br />
:''[Syndrome laughs evilly as he walks away. But unbeknownst to him, Bob grows absolutely livid.]''<br />
:''[Mirage gasps, and with quick thinking she pushes Syndrome out of the way as Bob suddenly grabs her. Syndrome quickly stands up.]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' <big>'''RELEASE ME.'''</big> <big><big><big>'''''NOW!!!'''''</big></big></big><br />
:'''Syndrome:''' ''Or'' '''''what'''?''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' I’ll '''crush''' her.<br />
:'''Syndrome:''' Ooh, that sounds a little dark for you. Nah, go ahead.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' ''[as Mirage gasps and he presses her harder]'' ''It’ll be easy''...'''''like breaking a toothpick!'''''<br />
:'''Syndrome:''' ''[chuckles]'' '''Show me.'''<br />
:''[As Syndrome amusedly waits, Bob slowly loses his will. Then, he sighs...]''<br />
:''[...and releases Mirage, as she falls to the floor and looks shocked to Syndrome.]''<br />
:'''Syndrome:''' I knew you couldn’t do it, even when you have nothing to lose. You’re ''weak!''<br />
:''[He and Mirage sullenly head out.]''<br />
:'''Syndrome:''' And I’ve outgrown you.<br />
:''[As Mirage looks to Bob one more time with a worried expression, she leaves with Syndrome as Bob starts crying, thinking that he lost his family.]''<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Those were short-range missiles. Land-based. That way is our best bet.<br />
:'''Dash''': You wanna go '''''toward''''' the people that tried to kill us?<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' If it means land, yes.<br />
:'''Violet:''' Do you expect us to swim there?<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl)''': I expect you to trust me.<br />
:''[Dash is hastily pushing Helen morphed into a boat, as Violet sits on her.]''<br />
:''[The three make it to shore. It is now night]''<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' What a trooper. I’m so proud of you.<br />
:'''Dash:''' Thanks, mom.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Cut to "cave"]''<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' I think... your father is in trouble.<br />
:'''Violet:''' If you haven’t noticed, Mom, we’re not doin' so hot either.<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' I’m going to look for him. And that means you’re in charge until I get back, Violet.<br />
:'''Dash:''' What?!<br />
:'''Violet:''' '''''You heard her.'''''<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Put these on. ''[Gives them masks]'' Your identity is your most valuable possession. Protect it. And if anything goes wrong, use your powers.<br />
:'''Violet:''' But you said never to use...<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' '''''I KNOW WHAT I SAID!''''' ''[calms down and sighs]'' Remember the bad guys on those shows you used to watch on Saturday mornings? Well, these guys are not like those guys. They won’t exercise restraint because you’re children. They will kill you if they get the chance. Do not give them that chance.<br />
:'''Violet:''' Mom?<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Vi, I’m counting on you.<br />
:'''Violet:''' There’s something I...<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' I’m counting on you. Be strong. Dash, if anything goes wrong, I want you to run as fast as you can.<br />
:'''Dash:''' As fast as I can?<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' As fast as you can. Stay hidden. Keep each other safe. I’ll be back by morning.<br />
:'''Violet:''' Mom! Mom, what happened on the plane. I’m sorry. ''[stammering]'' I wanted to help. I mean, when you asked me to... I’m sorry.<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Shh. It isn’t your fault. It wasn’t fair for me to suddenly ask so much of you. But things are different now. And doubt is a luxury we can’t afford anymore, sweetie. You have more power than you realize. Don’t think. And don’t worry. If the time comes, you’ll know what to do. It’s in your blood.<br />
:''[Helen gives Violet a firm nod and disappears into the night. Violet looks down at the mask in her hands and then puts it on.]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Lost in thought, Syndrome stares down at the massive rocket in the center of the volcano, poised to launch.]''<br />
:'''Mirage:''' He's not weak, you know.<br />
:'''Syndrome:''' What?<br />
:'''Mirage:''' Valuing life is not weakness.<br />
:''[Syndrome crosses to her, casually dismissive.]''<br />
:'''Syndrome:''' Oh, hey. Look, look... if you’re talking about what happened in the containment unit, I had everything under control.<br />
:'''Mirage:''' And disregarding it is ''not'' strength.<br />
:''[Syndrome sidles up behind her, lifts her chin with a gentle hand and draws her face toward his]''<br />
:'''Syndrome:''' I called his bluff, sweetheart, that’s all. I knew he wouldn’t have it in him to actually...<br />
:''[Mirage shoves his hand aside and rises to confront him.]''<br />
:'''Mirage:''' Next time you gamble, ''bet your own life!''<br />
:''[She exits, leaving Syndrome befuddled and alone.]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Helen enters a clearing and looks up. A monorail track soars high above the jungle floor. A monopod is coming. Helen throws her hands high, stretching them up to the pod passing overhead. It yanks her offscreen. Moving through the trees — Helen hangs suspended beneath the pod on long arms, alternating hands to swing around the support columns. Gaining momentum with each swing, she throws her body above the roof of the pod, landing expertly on top.]''<br />
:ON TOP OF THE POD<br />
:''[Helen squints into the rushing wind, sees the track slicing through the dense jungle canopy and leading directly into the base of the towering volcano. A familiar hum causes her to hide, and she slips down one side of the pod, out of view, as two Hoverjets buzz by. Helen watches the jets descend to a landing strip inside the Volcano just as the pod plunges into a tunnel and—]''<br />
:INSIDE THE TUNNEL - MOVING WITH HELEN ON THE POD<br />
:''[Darkness. Suddenly an opening in the tunnel rushes by, and Helen catches a glimpse of the rocket... and whoosh — the pod is back in the tunnel. Helen stretches her torso out like a sail. It catches wind and she releases from the pod, reforms and drops to the tracks with catlike grace.]''<br />
:INSIDE THE BASE - TUNNEL ENTRANCE<br />
:''[Helen peeks out of the tunnel, looks out at the heavily guarded launch pad.]''<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' A rocket?<br />
:''[Two armed guards march past. Unseen above them, Helen is stretched thin and hiding between a cluster of pipes which run down the center of the corridor. She watches as the guards exit through a sliding door. She drops like a liquid cat to the floor and begins to move down the corridor. As Helen passes a metal door, she catches sight of her reflection in its shiny surface. She stops, and frowns. It's been a while since her last supersuit; her butt is a bit bigger than she remembered. She wonders if she should lose a few — when the whoosh of a door surprises her. A guard comes through the door at the far end of the hall. As he enters another junction, we see that Helen has contorted herself, arching perfectly around the door frame. The guard doesn't see her. He slides a card key through a reader to enter a restricted corridor. The doors whoosh open. Directly behind him, Helen silently re-forms and begins to back through the doorway when the doors behind her slide shut — trapping her leg. She winces, tries in vain to pull it free. It's stuck. Leaving one hope — the card key on Guard #1's belt. Stretching across the corridor, Helen clambers after the guard on the palms of her hands, following him into the—]''<br />
:INNER CHAMBER<br />
:''[The guard stops at the elevator and presses the call button, his back to Helen. Just behind him, stretched far and held upright on one hand, Helen reaches with the other for the card key. She almost has it—]''<br />
:AT THE CORRIDOR<br />
:''[The door suddenly closes on her stretched torso. Her upper third snaps back, her middle third trapped and now stretched across—]''<br />
:HALLWAY - CENTRAL CORE<br />
:''[Two more guards (#2 & #3) are traveling in a transport. They are suddenly clotheslined by Helen's stretched torso.]''<br />
:INNER CHAMBER<br />
:''[—knocking the wind out of Helen. Directly in front of her at the far end of the hall, the elevator opens for guard #1; revealing Guard #4 inside. He sees Helen.''<br />
:'''Guard:''' Hey!<br />
:''[Helen's arm stretches forward—]''<br />
:INNER CHAMBER - INSIDE ELEVATOR<br />
:''[In a blink: her fist clocks guard #4, disarms guard #1 hitting him with the butt of his gun. As guard #4 drops to the floor, #1 hits the "close" button on the panel. The doors close on Helen's arm. Guard #1 grins. Helen's hand feels around, finds guard #1, his chest, chin, face and — coldcocks him. He drops.]''<br />
:RESUME MIDDLE CORRIDOR<br />
:''[The torso guards (#2 & #3) get to their feet, and see Helen, her arm still stretched, through the glass door. They level their guns at her. At the same moment—]''<br />
:BLUE CORRIDOR<br />
:''[Another guard (#5) comes upon Helen's leg in the closed doors. The sight is so odd, he can only stare. He decides to poke the leg with the barrel of his machine gun as she reacts to the poke. She scowls.]''<br />
:RESUME BLUE CORRIDOR<br />
:''[her leg cocks back and fishtail-kicks guard #5. He flies backwards, his weapon discharging into the card scanner. The door opens — freeing Helen's legs, which sail across the corridor and — smash the torso guards (#2 & #3) against the middle door. They slide down into a heap — out cold.]''<br />
:INSIDE ELEVATOR<br />
:''[Helen's arm finds one of the guards' card key, slides it into the door scanner. The doors open, releasing her torso.]''<br />
:ACCESS CORRIDOR<br />
:''[Helen drags the last of the unconscious guards over to an open wall panel and stuffs him inside with the others. She throws her weight against the panel, finally getting it shut.]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Dash watches as Violet practices intently. She releases the force field sphere; the dark smoke ball rises upwards. Vi throws another force field, recapturing the smoke at the roof of the cave. Dash gets to his feet, grabs a burning branch from the fire to use as a torch.]''<br />
:'''Dash:''' Well, not that this isn’t fun, but I’m gonna go look around.<br />
:'''Violet:''' What do you think is going on here? You think we’re on vacation or something? Mom and Dad’s lives could be in jeopardy. Or worse, ''[whispering]'' their marriage.<br />
:'''Dash:''' Their marriage? So, the bad guys are trying to wreck Mom and Dad’s marriage.<br />
:'''Violet:''' Oh, forget it. You’re so immature.<br />
:'''Dash:''' Okay, I’m gonna go look around.<br />
:'''Violet:''' Mom said to stay hidden.<br />
:'''Dash:''' I’m not gonna leave the cave. Sheesh!<br />
:''[Ground control technicians watch from the observation window as a giant metal sphere, a massive version of the dreaded Omnidroid — is carefully guided into place inside the top stage of the rocket. The rocket's nose cone is lowered over the Omnidroid and secured into place. The cylindrical blast shield closes around the rocket.]''<br />
:''[voices over radio]''<br />
:''[Lighting his way with a burning branch, Dash explores the depths of the "cave". Suddenly the floor becomes smooth. Dash looks down, then holds his torch up. He's inside an enormous man-made tunnel]''<br />
:'''Dash:''' Cool... ''[His voice echoes a bit. Dash brightens. He calls again, louder this time.]''<br />
:'''Dash:''' '''COOL!''' ''[His voice echoes again]'' Cool! Cool! Cool!<br />
:''[Syndrome shoves a Pass Key into the control board, gives the key a twist, then presses the "launch" button.]''<br />
:''[over radio]'' Roger. We are ready for launch.<br />
:''[The rocket's engines fire. The sound is deafening as the rocket's massive weight slowly lifts into the air. A low rumble and a subtle push of warm wind emanate from the depths of the tunnel, which begins to glow. Dash's smile drops as he realizes it's an enormous fireball rocketing towards him. He turns and runs.]''<br />
:''[Violet is still practicing force fields when the depths of the tunnel begin to rumble and glow. She looks up.]''<br />
:'''Dash:''' ''[off-screen]'' Vi!!! Vi Vi Vi Vi Vi!!!<br />
:'''Violet:''' '''''What did you do'''?''<br />
:''[It is revealed that the "cave" is actually the exhaust outlet for the volcano. Dash and Violet race out of the "cave", getting clear just as an enormous wall of flames erupts after them. They look down with a shudder at how close they came. A roar behind them causes them to turn — a rocket emerges from the center of the volcano, and soars into the night sky. It contains the Omnidroid Syndrome plans to unleash on Municiberg]''<br />
:CONTROL ROOM - DETENTION BLOCK<br />
:''[Helen looks down from some vents in the ceiling. Silently she stretches her neck until her head dangles down behind the guards.]''<br />
:''[Her POV: Helen scans the detention grid and notices a tremendous spike of power to restrain the prisoner in cell 13, Block A1.]''<br />
:''[over radio]'': ETA two-niner. Over. TCI clear. Condition yellow. Status norm.<br />
:''[over radio]'': Not responding to IFF. IRCM reads negative.<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' ''[gasps]'' Bob.<br />
:''[Helen quickly pulls her head back up through the vent in the ceiling and exits.]''<br />
:'''Guard #1:''' Huh? What?<br />
:'''Guard #2:''' Uh, I didn’t say anything.<br />
:''[The final stage of the Omnidroid's capsule separates. The Omni ship begins to descend below the cloud layer, toward the city.]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[It is the following morning. Dash awakens, discovering to his horror that he's curled up with Violet. Repulsed, he jumps up and shudders. The Mecha-macaw (a similar one like the one that observed Mr. Incredible fight the first Omnidroid) spots Dash and Violet]''<br />
:'''Mecha-macaw:''' Identification, please.<br />
:'''Dash:''' Hey! Hey, Violet! Come here, look.<br />
:'''Violet:''' What?<br />
:'''Dash:''' It talks!<br />
:'''Violet:''' What?<br />
:'''Dash:''' ''[pointing to the mecha-macaw]'' There. That one.<br />
:'''Mecha-macaw:''' Voice key incorrect.<br />
:'''Violet:''' Voice key?<br />
:'''Mecha-macaw:''' Voice key incorrect.<br />
:'''Violet:''' ''[realizing that something is wrong]'' Wait a second...<br />
:''[The bird's head slowly swivels toward the kids with a soft computing sound. Its eyes light up red as its beak drops open, and it lets out a shrill electronic alarm. Violet backs away from the shrieking bird, Dash following after her, panicking.]''<br />
:'''Dash:''' What do we do?<br />
:'''Violet:''' Run!<br />
:'''Dash:''' Where are we going?<br />
:'''Violet:''' Away from here!<br />
:''[Alarms sound. A section of the island grid lights up, locating the kids. A guard hits the "Scramble" button.]''<br />
:''[Helen hears the alarm, watches as the guards scramble. Guards on Velocipods zoom out into jungle.]''<br />
:'''P.A.:''' Intruder alert. Intruder alert. Intruder alert.<br />
:''[Bob hangs, defeated, in the suspension beams. The cell door slides open. A figure is silhouetted there — Mirage. She switches off the suspension ray. Bob drops to the floor. Bob just sits there on his knees, his eyes cast downward. Mirage crosses to him, kneels down—]''<br />
:'''Mirage:''' There isn’t much time.<br />
:''[Bob's hand flashes out and clamps around her throat. He rises, holding her dangling body aloft with one hand.]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' No, there isn’t. In fact... there’s no time at all.<br />
:'''Mirage:''' ''[choking]'' Please...<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Why are you here? How can you possibly bring me lower? '''What more can you take away from me'''?<br />
:'''Mirage:''' ''[choking]'' The family...survived...the...crash! They’re here...on the island!<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' They’re alive?<br />
:''[Bob releases his grip, Mirage drops to the floor, gasping raggedly. Bob lifts her up and embraces her. Mirage drinks it in, then reacts at the sight of a figure in the doorway. Bob looks up]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Helen...<br />
:''[Mirage and Bob push apart, Mirage composing herself.]''<br />
:'''Mirage:''' Oh, hello...You must be Mrs. Incre— ''[She gets knocked out cold before she could finish, much to Mr. Incredible's shock.]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' She was helping me to escape!<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' No! That’s what '''''I''''' was doing.<br />
:''[Mr. Incredible grabs Elastigirl's arm.]''<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Let go of me! Let go, you lousy, lying, unfaithful creep!<br />
:''[They kiss.]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' How could I betray the perfect woman?<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Oh, you’re referring to ''me'' now?<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Where are the kids?<br />
:'''Mirage:''' They might’ve triggered the alert.<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' What?!<br />
:'''Mirage:''' Security’s been sent into the jungle. You better get going.<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Now our '''''kids''''' are in danger?!<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' If you suspected danger, why’d you bring them?<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' I didn’t bring ‘em, they stowed away. And I don’t think you’re striking the proper tone here.<br />
:'''Guard:''' Think they're supers?<br />
:''[Running blindly. The kids are suddenly confronted by guards on three manned Velocipods. Glancing at the guards, Violet speaks quietly to Dash.]''<br />
:'''Violet:''' Dash, remember what Mom said.<br />
:'''Dash:''' What?<br />
:'''Guard #2:''' Hey! Stop talking!<br />
:''[Abruptly, Vi vanishes. Dash looks around in surprise.]''<br />
:'''Guard #3:''' Hold it! Freeze!<br />
:'''Violet:''' ''[off-screen]'' Dash, run!<br />
:'''Dash:''' What?<br />
:'''Violet:''' Run!<br />
:''[Suddenly understanding — Dash bolts, jumping from the transport and vanishing into the jungle.]''<br />
:'''Dash:''' Oh, yeah! ''[he runs away]''<br />
:''[It happens fast: The guard's head snaps toward the sound of Vi's voice. He swings his rifle— we hear a heavy thud as Violet's (invisible) body is knocked from the transport: a cloud of dust surrounds an impression in the dirt.]''<br />
:'''Guard:''' What the—?! They’re supers!<br />
:''[Violet disappears]''<br />
:'''Guard #2''': Get the boy! ''[guards take off after Dash on Velocipods]'' Show yourself!<br />
:''[Dash blasts through the foliage on foot, unbelievably fast, a manned Velocipod hot on his tail. But the terrain is dense, uneven and difficult, and Dash is forced to adhere to the thin trail winding through the growth. A swarm of flies fusses in the air. Suddenly Dash bursts into view; rocketing right through the swarm! Bugs splatter Dash's face like an interstate windshield]''<br />
:'''Dash:''' AGGCCHH!!!<br />
:''[Dash stumbles, careens end over end through the undergrowth like an [[w:Indianapolis 500|Indy 500]] car crash, and finally tumbles to a stopped. Unharmed, but thoroughly repulsed, Dash wipes his bug-spattered face and teeth.]''<br />
:'''Dash''': Achpppt!!! PtTHWAAAGH!!! PTHPT!!<br />
:''[A Velocipod bursts out of the brush after him and he takes off, tearing through the jungle. Running fast, Dash grabs a long vine — which sends him out in a wide arc that surprises the trailing guard. He shoots past Dash and roars off into the undergrowth. Dash releases the vine, tumbling roughly to his feet, and runs. A Velocipod bursts out of the brush and is on top of him. Impossibly, Dash accelerates, staying just ahead of it. He sees another vine, grabs it and is propelled upwards. Dash explodes out of the canopy, flailing, out of control. He looks down and sees — the treetops suddenly drop away. Dash is falling off a cliff, screams his ten-year-old lungs out as he lands on a Velocipod! Fleetingly astonished by his good luck, Dash looks up as the startled guard whirls around to face him. The guard swings. Dash ducks and reluctantly throws a punch at the guard's face. It lands! Thrilled that his raw speed renders the guard powerless to dodge or return his punches, Dash laughs and, growing more confident with each punch, socks the guard again and again, blissfully unaware that no one is driving. Dash looks up. His jaw drops: a rock wall looms ahead! Dash points at it. The guard sees an opening and socks Dash in the face, knocking him off just as — the Velocipod slams into the cliff face, vaporizing in a fireball, killing the guard]''<br />
:'''Guard:''' Hey!<br />
:'''Dash:''' Ha, ha! I’m alive. Yeah!<br />
:''[Dash whooping]''<br />
:''[Dash falls: making desperate, flailing grabs as he hits limb after limb of an enormous tree, finally getting hold of a branch and arresting his descent. He pants, heart racing, and looks down to see — his feet dangling about a yard off the jungle floor. Elated about his survival, Dash drops to the ground and lets out a loud whoop, immediately alerting two guards on Velocipods nearby to his presence. They turn their V-pods after him. With Dash as he bolts again, accelerating to breakneck speed. He smashes through an endless succession of foliage — nearly colliding with tree trunks and rocks and suddenly — a lagoon lies in front of him. Dash reacts: the V-pods are on his tail, he has nowhere to go, so he takes a deep breath and steps on it — and has enough velocity to run across the water! Amazed and exhilarated, Dash blasts across the water's surface, weaving like a speedboat around the large volcanic rocks jutting out of the water. Velocipods open fire... strafing the water as Dash is pursued into a cave. Velocipod #2 pulls up short at the cave entrance and chooses to go around.]''<br />
:'''Dash:''' Uh-oh.<br />
:''[Velocipod #2 is coming straight at him! Dash wheels around, his legs churning the water like an egg beater. He sees V-pod #1 closing fast. He has nowhere to go and, like a deer in headlights, Dash stops — suddenly dropping beneath the water's surface as the Velocipods collide — BOOM!]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' I should've told you I was fired, I admit it. But I didn’t want you to worry.<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' You didn't want me to worry? And now we’re running for our lives through some godforsaken jungle.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' You keep trying to pick a fight, but I’m still just happy you’re alive.<br />
:''[The remaining guard waits, his machine gun at the ready. Suddenly the dirt moves. The guard fires, strafing the ground just behind a succession of footprints that streak toward the river moments before a splash appears. We see a Violet-shaped distortion as bullet trails furiously slice the surrounding water. Still firing. He stops, unnerved and adrenalized. Tensed and ready, he nervously scans the river.]''<br />
:'''Guard:''' I know you’re there, Little Miss Disappear. You can’t hide from me.<br />
:''[Training his gun where he last saw Violet, the guard grabs a handful of dirt from the riverbank and throws it into the water. He shoulders his rifle watching the dirt turn into a brown cloud as it travels downstream ...making visible a Violet-shaped pocket]''<br />
:'''Guard:''' ''[Aiming gun]'' There you are.<br />
:''[The guard takes aim and Dash blurs past]''<br />
:'''Dash:''' HEY! ''[knocking the guard's gun barrel skyward as it fires. The guard swings around — strafing the ground at Dash's heels as he plunges back into the jungle. A splash explodes from the river as invisible Violet makes a break for it. The guard sees this and swings the gun toward her as — Dash blasts out of the jungle and knocks the Guard's legs out from under him. They tumble and scrap, Dash redeeming his lack of size with lightning-fast punches and faints.]'' Don't touch my sister!<br />
:''[Disoriented, the guard swings and connects — knocking Dash off his feet. He tumbles backward, dazed. The guard shoulders his rifle, leveling it at Dash. Dash looks up; sees he's screwed. The guard grins wickedly and pulls the trigger — Violet suddenly appears in mid-air, diving in front of Dash as she throws a force field around them! A hail of bullets ricochet off the force field.]''<br />
:'''Dash:''' '''''How are you doing that?'''''<br />
:'''Violet:''' I don't know!<br />
:'''Dash:''' Whatever you do, don’t stop!<br />
:''[as Dash starts to walk within the force field like a gerbil on a wheel. Violet spins ever faster in the sphere's hub as Dash accelerates into a run. The guards empty their clips at the rolling sphere with no effect. It rumbles past them and straight into the jungle.]''<br />
:''[Moving with the rolling force field as it carries Dash and Vi down a steep hillside into the path of two speeding Velocipods who fire at the sphere. It's clipped by one Velocipod-- which then spirals into a rock and explodes.]''<br />
:''[Bob and Helen hear the explosions echo, and stop, worried. That's when they hear the rumble. Before they can get clear, the rolling force field bursts out of the brush]''<br />
:'''Violet:''' Mom! Dad! Hey!<br />
:''[the force field vanishes and the entire family tumbles to the jungle floor.]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Kids! You’re all right.<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Oh, you’re all right!<br />
:'''Violet:''' We were so worried about you!<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' I thought I’d never see you again.<br />
:''[There is a frantic, joyful exchange of hugs and kisses, unfortunately cut short when — Velocipods explode out of the foliage! The Incredibles instantly jump to their feet: Helen throws a stretched scissor kick which catches a guard in the chest, knocking him out of his V-pod. Bob chops a second passing Velocipod — it plows straight into the soft jungle floor. Before its pilot can react — Helen's arm is coiled around him. She yanks him from the vehicle, whiplashing him into another guard, knocking them both out cold. Bob grabs the crashed V-pod and Frisbees it into a V-pod from the trees - boom! And it's over. Bob and Helen had forgotten how good they were. They exchange lustful glances.]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible) & Helen (Elastigirl):''' Aww, I love you.<br />
:'''Dash:''' Wow.<br />
:'''Violet:''' Whoa.<br />
:''[Suddenly the jungle is filled with guards and V-pods. And just as quickly the Incredibles turn as one against them, a hurricane blur of superpowers, suddenly brought to a crashing halt — as ZPE rays strike the Incredibles, suspending them all, motionless, in mid-air, in a clearing.]''<br />
:'''Syndrome:''' <big><big><big>'''''WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! HEY, TIME OUT!'''''</big></big></big> ''[Syndrome keeps his wrists crossed; one beam trained on Mr. Incredible and Elastigirl; the other on Dash and Violet.]'' What have we here? Matching uniforms? ''[glances between the four faces. His eyes narrow as he zeroes in on Helen. An astonished smile splits his face.]'' Oh, no... Elastigirl!? ''[laughing, turns to Bob]'' You married Elastigirl? Whoa... and got... ''[he stops, sees the kids]'' And got '''biz-zay'''! It's a whole family of Supers! Looks like I've hit the jackpot! Oh, this is just too good!<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Back in Syndrome's lair, on a giant screen, network news footage of a crowd gathered around a smoldering hulk resting at the base of a large building. The TV channel changes. Another reporter is covering the same story. Camera widens: Syndrome is delightedly channel surfing with a remote control of his own invention.]''<br />
:'''News reporter on TV:''' The ship’s unique design suggests...<br />
:'''News reporter on TV:''' There were no fatalities...<br />
:''[The Incredibles are now side by side in the containment unit]''<br />
:'''Syndrome:''' Huh? Huh!? Oh, come on! You gotta admit, this is cool! Just like a movie! The robot will emerge dramatically, do some damage. Throngs of screaming people! And just when all hope is lost, Syndrome will save the day! I’ll be a bigger hero than you ever were!<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' You mean, you killed off real heroes so that you could....<big><big>'''''PRETEND TO BE ONE?!'''''</big></big><br />
:'''Syndrome:''' Oh, I'm real. Real enough to defeat you! And I did it without your precious gifts, your oh-so-special powers. I'll give them heroics. I’ll give them the most spectacular heroics anyone’s ever seen! And when I'm old and I've had my fun, I'll sell my inventions so that everyone can be superheroes. Everyone can be super! And when everyone’s super... no one will be. ''[evil laughter, leaves room]''<br />
:''[Back in Municiberg, the military are fighting a losing battle with the Omnidroid. Soldiers shouting]''<br />
:'''Soldier:''' Fire at will!<br />
:''[The Omnidroid starts destroying the military troops with ease.]''<br />
:'''Reporter:''' It's completely overwhelming the tanks.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' I’m sorry. This is my fault. I’ve been a lousy father. Blind to what I have. So obsessed with being undervalued that I undervalued all of you.<br />
:'''Dash:''' Um...dad?<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Shh. Don’t interrupt.<br />
:''[Violet uses her force field to nullify the zero-point energy's effects and float out of the suspension system. She walks towards the keyboard.]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' So caught up in the past that I.....You are my greatest adventure. And I almost missed it. I swear, I’m gonna get us out of this safely if I...<br />
:'''Violet:''' Well, I think Dad has made some excellent progress today, but I think it’s time we wind down now.<br />
:''[She hits the control panel, releasing the family]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' We need to get back to the mainland.<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' I saw an aircraft hangar on my way in. Straight ahead, I think.<br />
:''[Bob's hands pry open the heavy metal doors, crunching them like foil. The Incredibles enter the huge hangar]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Where are all the guards?<br />
:''[The guards are all holed up in a command vehicle, watching the Omnidroid reports on TV.]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' ''[signaling the others to move inside the command vehicle]'' Go, go!<br />
:''[The guards watch live coverage of the Omnidroid attack on a video monitor. Champagne is popped: the cork is unexpectedly caught by someone standing in the doorway — Mr. Incredible]''<br />
:'''Guard:''' Hey, look. Hey! Every time they run, you take a shot.<br />
:'''Guard 2:''' Yeah, okay.<br />
:''[The vehicle rocks as Bob quickly takes out the guards within. In moments Bob emerges, whistles to his family that the coast is clear.]''<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' This is the right hangar, but I don’t see any jets.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' A jet’s not fast enough.<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' What’s faster than a jet?<br />
:'''Dash:''' Hey, how about a rocket?<br />
:''[The other Incredibles follow Dash's finger to an enormous shield-shaped rocket, identical to the one launched earlier — save for a perfect circular hole in the center.]''<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Great! I can’t fly a rocket.<br />
:'''Violet:''' You don’t have to. Use the coordinates from the last launch.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Ah, wait. I bet Syndrome’s changed the password by now. How do I get into the computer?<br />
:''[A voice comes over the loudspeaker.]''<br />
:'''Mirage:''' Say please.<br />
:''[The Incredibles turn and look up. Mirage stands in the monitoring station above the launchpad, smiling.]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[The stereo plays soft jazz as Lucius (aka Frozone) dresses for dinner. He slaps some aftershave on his face, checking his look in the mirror. A low series of booms grows louder, causing him to look up to see the Omnidroid outside his apartment wreaking havoc on Municiberg; a military chopper strafing it with machine-gun fire. He immediately goes through his dresser drawers.]''<br />
:'''Lucius:''' '''Honey?!'''<br />
:'''Honey Best''': ''[off-screen]'' What?<br />
:'''Lucius:''' Where’s my supersuit?<br />
:'''Honey Best:''' What?<br />
:'''Lucius:''' <big><big><big>'''''WHERE… IS MY SUPER SUIT?!'''''</big></big></big><br />
:''[The military chopper, now on fire, spirals past the picture window and explodes, lighting up the room.]''<br />
:'''Honey Best''': I, uh… put it away!<br />
:'''Lucius:''' Where?!<br />
:'''Honey Best:''' Why do you need to know?!<br />
:'''Lucius:''' <big>'''''I NEED IT!'''''</big><br />
:''[Lucius is running now, down the hallway, going in and out of view, frantically searching rooms and closets.]''<br />
:'''Honey Best:''' Uh-uh! Don’t you think about runnin' off doin' no derrin’-do! We’ve been plannin' this dinner for two months!<br />
:'''Lucius:''' The public is in danger!<br />
:'''Honey Best:''' My evening’s in danger!<br />
:'''Lucius:''' <big><big>'''''YOU TELL ME WHERE MY SUIT IS, WOMAN! WE ARE TALKING ABOUT THE GREATER GOOD!'''''</big></big><br />
:'''Honey Best:''' Greater good?! I am your ''wife''! I’m the greatest ''good'' you are ''ever'' gonna get!<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Cut back to the Omnidroid destroying the city. The driver of a gasoline tanker truck screeches to a halt, his eyes bugging out at the rampaging Omnidroid]''<br />
:'''Man:''' RUN!<br />
:''[He jumps from the truck just as the Omnidroid seizes the tanker in a giant claw and flings it down the street. A young mother sees it arcing toward her baby carriage.]''<br />
:'''Woman:''' MY BABY!<br />
:''[Syndrome holds the tanker in place just above the carriage and woman. The crowd is immediately electrified by the sight of the red-haired Superhero.]''<br />
:'''Man:''' The Supers have returned!<br />
:'''Woman:''' Is that Fironic?<br />
:'''Man:''' Fironic?<br />
:'''Woman:''' No, Fironic has a different outfit!<br />
:'''Syndrome:''' No, no, I’m a new superhero! I’m SYNDROME!<br />
:''[Syndrome carelessly flings the tanker truck behind him with a flourish. It explodes, frightening the crowd. The Omnidroid moves towards him.]'' All right, stand back. ''[The Omnidroid reaches a massive claw toward Syndrome, who presses a series of buttons on his power cuff. The robot freezes suddenly, idling. Syndrome smiles, pressing another series of buttons on his remote.]'' Someone needs to teach this hunk of metal a few manners. ''[Putting on a good show, Syndrome flies around the idling bot, and delivers a punch to one of its leg sockets.]''<br />
:'''OMNIDROID'S P.O.V.''': Technical readouts spray across its viewscreen as it confirms Syndrome's instructions: RESTRAIN BATTLE MODE. DETACH ARM AT SIGNAL.<br />
:'''Syndrome:''' Ha, ha!<br />
:''[On cue, one of the Omnidroid's limbs suddenly falls out of its socket, thudding uselessly to the ground. As Syndrome revels in the cheers of the crowd, we push in on the Omnidroid. It's watching Syndrome. And thinking — OMNIDROID'S P.O.V.: Technical readouts spray across its viewscreen as it analyzes: CONTROL STOLEN BY EXTERNAL SIGNAL.]''<br />
;LOCATE SOURCE: EXTERNAL SIGNAL<br />
:Columns of numbers are crunched. The Omnidroid's lens-eye zooms in on the control bands around Syndrome's wrist — SIGNAL SOURCE: REMOTE CONTROL — and comes to a logical conclusion: OVERRIDE EXTERNAL CONTROL<br />
:DESTROY REMOTE CONTROL<br />
:''[The Omnidroid fires a precise laser shot, blasting the remote right off Syndrome's wrist. It clatters to the street. Syndrome whirls around in horror as the bot goes after him. He flies out of control, and he crashes onto a building. He lands, tries to get up and falls unconscious soon after.]''<br />
:''[Frozone appears on the scene. High above the earth — another rocket, identical to the first one, descends from the clouds. Again, it separates into quarters which fall away, revealing the landing craft inside — and only then do we notice what's different about it: in the center of the large, perfectly round hole designed to house the Omnidroid is — the command vehicle, precariously held in place by a very stretched, very stressed Helen. Inside the command vehicle Bob is at the wheel, Vi and Dash are seated at a small table in the back.]''<br />
:'''Dash:''' ''[exasperated]'' Are we nearly there yet?<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' We'll get there when we get there!<br />
:''[opens the window; to Helen, who is suspended from the Omnidroid's lander, clutching its sides and holding the van in place as loose debris is scattered everywhere.]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' How you doing, honey?<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Do I have to answer?!<br />
:''[The giant wing is descending, gliding closer to the water, as the city looms closer directly ahead.]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Kids, strap yourselves down like I told you!<br />
:''[Violet and Dash move to the seats at the monitor panels, belting themselves in. Bob opens his window, yells up to Helen]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Here we go, honey! Ready, Violet? ''[Violet holds a hand over a giant, jerry-rigged release switch.]'' Ready? Now! ''[Violet slams the switch. The explosive bolts fire, separating the wing. Helen let's go with a pained shout, swings inside through the window. Bob steps on the gas. The command vehicle wheels spin. Bob tenses as he watches the speedometer move past 110, 120, 130.]'' This is gonna be rough! ''[The command vehicle sails over an overpass, clipping a light pole, and crashes to the pavement in a shower of sparks. It flies down the street at 200 MPH. Fighting to keep control, Bob hits the brakes. Smoke erupts from the wheel wells.]'' The robot’s in the financial district. Which exit do I take?<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Traction Avenue.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' That'll take me downtown. I take 7th, don't I?<br />
:''[Bob cranks the wheel and cuts across several lanes toward the Seventh Street exit.]''<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Don’t take 7th!<br />
:''[Bob aborts the exit, swerving hard to avoid a collision.]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Great, we missed it!<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' You asked me how to get there, and I told you. Exit at Traction!<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' That’ll take me downtown!<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' It's coming up! Get in the right lane! Signal!<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' ''[changing lanes]'' We don't exit at Traction!<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' '''''<big>YOU'RE GONNA MISS IT!!!!</big>'''''<br />
:''[The command vehicle takes a violent swerve across six lanes, barely making the off-ramp! Sparks spray as the vehicle slams into the guardrail. The command vehicle careens off the railing and into traffic, narrowly missing a semi. Horns blare. Bob's teeth clench as he fights to slow the vehicle down. He stomps both feet on the brakes. Its tires smoking, the command vehicle pulls sideways and loses it, tumbling down the center of the street, spraying metal pieces in its wake. It rolls into an open parking space, and lands — miraculously upright, stripped like an ear of eaten corn. A more perfect parallel park couldn't have been executed. Bob and Helen sit up woozily. Bob turns to Dash and Violet.]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Is everybody okay back there?<br />
:''[Violet and Dash pull themselves upright. They look as if they've emerged from an industrial tumble dryer]''<br />
:'''Violet:''' Super-duper, Dad!<br />
:'''Dash:''' ''[laughing]'' Let’s do that again.<br />
:''[The Omnidroid comes into view through the cracked windshield. Bob releases his seat belt, turns to Helen.]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Wait here and stay hidden. I’m going in.<br />
:''[Bob grimly starts after the Omnidroid. Helen stretches an arm out and grabs his shoulder, spinning him around.]''<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' While what? I watch helplessly from the sidelines? I don’t think so.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' I’m '''''asking you''''' to wait with the kids.<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' And I’m '''''telling you''''', "not a chance". You’re my husband. I’m with you for better or worse.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' I have to do this alone!<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' What is this to you? Playtime?<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' No.<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' So you can be Mr. Incredible AGAIN?!<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' No!<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Then what? What is it?<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' I’m not...<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Not what?<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' I’m not strong enough.<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Strong enough. And this will make you stronger?<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Yes. No!<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' That’s what this is? Some sort of workout!?<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' <big><big><big>'''''I CAN'T LOSE YOU AGAIN!'''''</big></big></big> ''[Helen is stunned. She stares at Bob, whose head is bowed like a child]'' I can’t. Not again. I’m not... strong enough.<br />
:''[Helen searches Bob's eyes, deeply touched. She throws her arms around him, kissing him.]''<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' If we work together, you won’t have to be.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' I don’t know what’ll happen.<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Hey. We’re superheroes. What can happen?<br />
:''[Violet screams. She and Dash jump clear just as the command vehicle is crushed by the Omnidroid's metal foot. The Incredibles run. Another Omnidroid foot smashes into the street, blocking the kids' way. Bob and Helen stop, whirling]''<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Vi, Dash— NO!<br />
:''[The Omnidroid is now fully focused on the kids, pounding Violet's force field relentlessly with its giant claws. The shield holds. The Omnidroid draws itself up and drops — the entirety of its massive bulk slams into the force field knocking Vi unconscious. Her force field flickers out]''<br />
:'''Dash:''' Violet?<br />
:''[Again, the Omnidroid draws itself up to deliver the crushing blow. Dash cringes and the bot drops — and hits an obstacle halfway down. Dash looks up]''<br />
:'''Dash:''' Dad!<br />
:''[Bob is underneath the bot, on his back, his arms and legs straining under the weight of it.]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Go, go!<br />
:''[Violet comes to and is instantly yanked out from under the bot and into Helen's arms.]''<br />
:'''Violet:''' I’m okay, mom. Really.<br />
:''[Dash follows them around the corner. Straining, Bob lifts the Omnidroid enough to get his feet underneath him. The bot snatches Bob out from underneath and flings him at a building across the street. The windows of the nearby building shatter as Bob's body tumbles across the floor, scattering desks and chairs. Helen rounds a corner out of the Omnidroid's view and carefully sets Violet down. She looks at Dash and Vi.]''<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Stay here, okay?<br />
:''[Helen turns away, charging back toward the robot. Vi and Dash watch their fearless mother in amazement.]''<br />
:''[as the Omnidroid pulls itself up the building to look for Bob. Bob charges the Omnidroid, hitting it with enough force to dislodge it from the building. It falls, crashing into the street with an earth-shattering boom. Bob falls with it but rolls and lands on his feet. The familiar sound of cracking ice causes Bob to look up]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Frozone! Yeah!<br />
:''[A narrow sheet of ice streaks across the pavement and Frozone skates past, joining the fight. Following Frozone — He moves to the Omnidroid, expertly icing its joints as it tries to get up. The Omnidroid whines as its motors strain against the ice. Further down the street, Helen rushes up to Bob]''<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Bob!<br />
:''[Just then Frozone sails into frame and crashes into the roof of a parked car. Bob turns angrily toward the Omnidroid and is immediately smacked by it. Bob flies into the side of a building and tumbles to the street. Frozone and Helen distract the Omnidroid, heckling it and spreading out. It goes after them like an enraged beast. Dazed, Bob looks up and sees a strange device on the ground in front of him. He examines it, his eyes widening when he realizes what it is. He holds it up, yelling excitedly to the others]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Hey! Syndrome’s remote!<br />
:''[The Omnidroid comes down on Bob like a ton of bricks, lifting him high above the ground. Miraculously, Bob has held on to the remote, and he quickly stabs at the buttons, hoping to get lucky. With a boom, one of the bot's limbs releases, sending it — and Bob — crashing to the ground]''<br />
:''[Around the corner, Violet sees this. She turns to Dash]''<br />
:'''Violet:''' The remote controls the robot!<br />
:''[The Omnidroid knows this too, and it fires laser blasts at Bob to try to stop Bob from using the remote. Bob jumps clear, then hears Dash from down the street.]''<br />
:'''Dash:''' Hey, Dad! Throw it, throw it!<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Go long!<br />
:''[Bob gives the remote a monster throw, flinging it high into the air and across the river. Dash pivots and takes off after it. The Omnidroid sees Dash and starts firing after him. With Dash as he hits the water, jetting across the water's surface as the Omnidroid fires away. The water explodes around Dash, but he concentrates on the remote, following it into his hands like an NFL receiver.]''<br />
:'''Dash:''' Got it!<br />
:''[Dash crosses the river and hits the streets on the other side, seemingly home free. But the Omnidroid is still firing, and it hits some cars in Dash's path, igniting their gas tanks. Suddenly Dash is surrounded by a wall of flames! Bob runs toward Helen, who is closer to the Omnidroid.]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Honey, take out its guns!<br />
:''[Helen hears him. She grabs a heavy manhole cover winding her elastic arm around a light pole to fling it — like an arrow — at the Omnidroid's gun. Bullseye. What follows amounts to a game of hot potato between the Supers and the Omnidroid over the remote: Frozone saves Dash from the circle of burning cars. Omnidroid sees this and goes after them. With Dash on his back, Frozone races across the river, freezing it in front of him as he goes.]''<br />
:'''Frozone:''' Dash! Gotcha!<br />
:''[Omnidroid jumps — almost on top of them, creating a massive wave and throwing Dash and Frozone high into the air. Thinking fast, Frozone turns the wave into a wall of snow. It crashes over the streets, cushioning their fall. The remote clatters to the ground. Bob sees it and runs for it. The Omnidroid sees Bob and fires a claw — catching Bob just as he was reaching for the remote. The claw — with Bob inside — tumbles end over end down the street. With Bob out of the way, the Omnidroid heads for the remote. Frozone ices the Omnidroid's path, causing its metal feet to slip and slide. Helen runs ahead of the Omnidroid, stretching herself into a tripwire across the stumbling Omnidroid's path. It crashes to the street. The Omnidroid looks up. The remote lies on the street just in front of it, easily within its grasp. The Omnidroid reaches out with a claw to destroy the remote. The remote magically jumps clear. The Omnidroid tries again, and again the remote darts away. Riled now, it rears up and stabs wildly at the remote with all of its arms. We hear Violet shriek, as the remote repeatedly eludes the Omnidroid's grasp: finally tangling its legs so badly that it topples over. Violet reappears, running back to rejoin the group in the middle of the street.]''<br />
:'''Frozone''': Violet!<br />
:'''Violet:''' Mom, I’ve got it! I’ve got the remote!<br />
:'''Frozone:''' '''''A remote? A remote that controls what?'''''<br />
:''[Violet begins to fiddle with the remote's click-wheel, pressing its buttons to no effect. The Omnidroid has gotten to its feet and lunges toward them. Violet shrieks and presses the button one last time. Rockets fire underneath the Omnidroid's clawed feet, lifting the enormous machine into the air.]''<br />
:'''Frozone:''' THE ROBOT?!?'<br />
:''[Everyone ducks as the Omnidroid rockets overhead, crashing into a building at the end of the street. Like a woozy prizefighter, the Omnidroid gets back on its feet.]''<br />
:'''Dash:''' It's coming back!<br />
:''[Dash snatches the remote from Violet, aims it at the Omnidroid, spins the click-wheel and presses a button. Behind Dash (and unseen by all) the claws on the Omnidroid's detached arm spring open — flinging Bob into the air.]''<br />
:'''Dash:''' That wasn't right.<br />
:'''Violet:''' ''[snatching remote back]'' Give me that!<br />
:DOWN THE STREET - WITH BOB<br />
:''[He climbs to his feet, muttering to himself.]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' We can’t stop it. The only thing hard enough to penetrate it is... ''[A thought hits him. Remembering the first fight he had with the Omnidroid in the jungle, lava and volcano, he turns, staring at the metal claw]'' itself.<br />
:'''Dash:''' It's getting closer.<br />
:'''Violet:''' It doesn't work!<br />
:''[Helen has the remote now and is trying to figure it out. The Omnidroid has them all in its sights and is lumbering toward them. The kids are starting to panic.]''<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' No, this'll work! This'll work! Lucius, try to buy us some time!<br />
:'''Frozone:''' Try the one next to it.<br />
:''[Lucius takes off, throwing ice and skating down the street toward the approaching Omnidroid. He jumps off an ice ramp, his skates converting into a circular ski-disc in mid-air. He lands, throwing a massive ice wall in front of the Omnidroid.]''<br />
:''[With Bob as he closes the claw into a massive arrowhead and starts charging down the street. With Helen and the kids — Helen dials the click-wheel on the remote and presses one of the buttons. The back of the claw suddenly fires a rocket engine. Bob veers crazily, trying to control it. Helen presses the button again. Now close to the group, Bob's claw rocket switches off. Bob gets an idea]''<br />
:''[Helen presses a button. The claw blades start to spin.]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Honey! ''[Frozone is putting up an ice wall to delay the Omnidroid's advancement toward them]'' Wait a minute. <big><big><big>'''''PRESS THAT BUTTON AGAIN!! NO, THE OTHER ONE!! T-THE FIRST ONE!'''''</big></big></big><br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' First button! Got it!<br />
:''[The Omnidroid has broken through the first ice wall and pounding away at a second one. Though Frozone's giving it all he's got, the Omnidroid's starting to break through.]''<br />
:''[Helen looks at the remote, gestures at her kids.]''<br />
:'''Dash:''' It’s getting closer!<br />
:'''Frozone:''' Look out!<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Get outta here, kids, find a safe spot!<br />
:'''Violet:''' We’re not going anywhere!<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' <big>''''PRESS THE BUTTON!''''</big><br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Not yet!<br />
:'''Frozone:''' ''[apprehensively, as the Omnidroid advances toward Bob]'' Helen...?<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' <big><big>'''''WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?'''''</big></big><br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' A closer target! Ya got one shot!<br />
:''[The Omnidroid shatters the ice wall Frozone put up, it's almost on top of them. Elastigirl presses the button. The claw-rocket fires. Mr. Incredible aims it directly at the Omnidroid's metal underbelly—]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' <big>'''''EVERYBODY DUCK!'''''</big><br />
:''[—and releases it. The giant metal claw roars overhead and drills clean through the Omnidroid's body, coming out the other side embedded in the CPU. For a long moment nothing happens. Then the gargantuan machine keels over and explodes. It's over. The family looks at each other, stunned]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Hey, Zone.<br />
:''[Frozone starts laughing. Mr. Incredible smiles as he looks at his super family. It feels like his best memories... only better. The seemingly empty city begins to come to life, as people emerge from their hiding places, converging in the street. People begin to spontaneously cheer the heroes, welcoming the Supers' return. Syndrome comes to. Looks over the edge to the streets below to find the battle over and the masses cheering, not for him, but for the group of Supers. He darkens]''<br />
:'''Syndrome:''' Huh? NO!<br />
:''[Two elderly gentlemen stand together in the crowd. One nudges the other]''<br />
:'''Frank Thomas''' Hey, did you see that? That's the way to do it. That's old school.<br />
:'''Ollie Johnston:''' Yeah. No school like the old school.<br />
:'''Frank Thomas:''' Yeah!<br />
:''[They drink in the cheers as the adoring crowd gathers around them]''<br />
:'''Frozone:''' ''[chuckles]'' Just like old times.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Just like old times. ''[slaps Frozone on the back, a little too hard]''<br />
:'''Frozone:''' ''[shaking it off]'' Oh! Yeah. Hurt then too.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[A long, black limo cruises down the street. Mr. Incredible sits proudly with his family as Rick Dicker debriefs them. Everyone is enjoying the moment, save for Elastigirl, who has already clicked back into "mother mode" and is using the car phone to get messages]''<br />
:'''Rick Dicker:''' We've frozen all of Syndrome's assets. If he even sneezes, we'll be there with a hanky and a pair of handcuffs. The people of this country are indebted to you.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Does this mean we can come out of hiding?<br />
:'''Rick Dicker:''' Let the politicians figure that one out. But I've been asked to assure you we'll take care of everything else. You did good, Bob.<br />
:''[Dash plays with the electric windows as Helen retrieves messages from the car phone. Window up, window down...]''<br />
:'''Kari:''' ''[beeps; over phone]'' Hi, this is Kari. I have a question about Jack-Jack...<br />
:''[...window up, up, down, up.]''<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' ''[to Dash]'' Come on. We're in a limo.<br />
:''[Bob is looking appreciatively at Violet]''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Hey, you're wearing your hair back.<br />
:'''Violet:''' ''[stammering]'' Yeah, I just... yeah.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' It looks good.<br />
:'''Violet:''' ''[blushing]'' Thanks, Dad.<br />
:'''Dash:''' ''[to Bob]'' That was so cool when you threw that car!<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' Not as cool as you running on water.<br />
:'''Dash:''' Hey, Mom, that was sweet when you snagged that bad guy with your arm and kinda whiplashed him into the other guy. It was so sweet!<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl)''': Honey, uh, yeah, I'm trying to listen to messages, honey.<br />
:'''Kari:''' ''[beeps; over phone]'' Mrs. Parr, it's me. Jack-Jack is fine, but weird things are happening. Jack-Jack's still fine, but I'm getting really weirded out! When are you coming back?<br />
:'''Dash:''' ...aced those guys that tried to kill us! That was the best vacation ever! ''[flops back on the seat, exhilarated]'' I love our family.<br />
:'''Kari:''' ''[beeps; over phone as Jack-Jack cries]'' I'M NOT FINE, MRS. PARR! PUT THAT DOWN! STOP IT! YOU NEED TO CALL ME! I NEED HELP, MRS. PARR!<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' ''[nudges Bob, shares phone]'' Bob, listen to this.<br />
:''[Helen is listening to the last message as the limo slows to a stop in front of their home]''<br />
:'''Kari:''' ''[over phone as Jack-Jack is still crying]'' I'M CALL THE POLICE OR SOMEONE! ''[calmly]'' Hi, this is Kari. Sorry for freakin' out, but your baby has special needs.<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' "Special needs"?<br />
:'''Kari:''' Anyway, thanks for sending a replacement sitter.<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Replacement? I didn't call for a replacement.<br />
:''[Bob's eyes widen. He and Helen jump from the car, followed by the kids. They cross the lawn and burst through the front door to reveal — Syndrome who spins, hitting the family with his Zero-point energy ray. Cradling a sleeping Jack-Jack in his arms, he grins.]''<br />
:'''Syndrome:''' Shh....The baby is sleeping. ''[Evil laugh]'' You took away my future. I’m simply returning the favor. Oh, don’t worry, I’ll be a good mentor. Supportive, encouraging. Everything that you weren’t. And in time, who knows, he might make a good sidekick. Ha ha!<br />
:''[Syndrome flings the family into the bookcase. He points his power band toward the roof and blows a huge hole in it, revealing his Manta Jet hovering high above. Syndrome fires his jet-boots and takes off toward the jet.]''<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' '''''He’s getting away, Bob!! <big>WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING NOW!!!!</big>'''''<br />
:''[Jack-Jack awakens to the sight of his family and home receding beneath him. He starts crying, reaching out for them. Syndrome nears the Manta Jet. Jack-Jack's crying turns angry, and he suddenly bursts into flames. Syndrome shrieks. Jack-Jack's fire goes out, revealing that the baby has turned to metal. Syndrome drops with the sudden weight. His jet-boots compensate, but Syndrome is struggling to stay aloft. The baby's flesh reverts to normal, but the baby begins to vibrate fiercely. Syndrome can barely keep hold of him]''<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Something’s happening. What’s happening??<br />
:''[The vibrating baby begins to redden, transforming abruptly into a mini demon. The Jack-Jack monster throws a headlock around Syndrome, laughing maniacally and starts to rip apart Syndrome's Jet-boots!]''<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' '''''<big>WE HAVE TO STOP HIM!!!! THROW SOMTHING!!!!</big>'''''<br />
:'''Bob (Mr. Incredible):''' I can’t! I might hit Jack-Jack!<br />
:''[Jack-Jack screeched while attacking Syndrome. He pulled some of Syndrome's hair and kicks his chin.]''<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' ''[realization, softly]'' Throw me.<br />
:''[Jack-Jack rips a valve from Syndrome's jet-boots, which propels him upward, slamming his head into the jet's wing. He loses hold of Jack-Jack, who falls after changing back into his human form and starts crying.]''<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' '''''<big>BOB, THROW ME!!</big>'''''<br />
:''[Helen leaps into Bob's arms, forming into a spear shape. Bob takes aim and flings her toward the falling baby. Helen soars — and grabs Jack-Jack! She quickly blooms into a parachute.]''<br />
:''[Syndrome regains control. He successfully docks with the hovering Manta Jet. He stands at the docking doors, his cape blowing dramatically upwards]''<br />
:'''Syndrome:''' ''[his last words before his death]'' '''''NO!!! THIS ISN'T THE END OF IT! I WILL GET YOUR SON EVENTUALLY! I'LL GET YOUR SON!''''' ''[laughs and gasps as he sees Mr. Incredible hurling his car into the air towards the Manta Jet.]'' Oh, no.<br />
:''[Syndrome jumps back as the crafts collide, blowing him off his feet and up over the wing, toward the turbines. Clawing madly to find purchase, he looks over his shoulder in time to see the end of his cape sucked into the intake. Syndrome screams as he's yanked out of frame. Bob, Dash and Violet react as the Manta Jet explodes. Elastigirl cradles Jack-Jack facing upwards, his back toward the ground. He looks at her, giggling and cooing]''<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' Look at Mommy, honey. Don’t look down. Mommy’s got you. Everything is all right.<br />
:''[But Jack-Jack sees burning wreckage coming toward them and starts to shriek, pointing upwards. Helen turns to see it as wreckage crashes on top of them, destroying the Parr home. Elastigirl and Jack-Jack are saved. Violet and Helen exchange a meaningful look.]''<br />
:'''Helen (Elastigirl):''' That’s my girl.<br />
:'''Dash:''' Does this mean we have to move again?<br />
:''[Everyone chuckles at this. The smoke begins to clear, revealing a lone witness to this cataclysmic event — Rusty, whose eyes are as big as dinner plates.]''<br />
:'''Rusty:''' Oh, man. '''''<big><big><big><big>THAT WAS TOTALLY WICKED!!!!!!!</big></big></big></big>'''''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Parker Stadium - Metroville, 3 MONTHS LATER]''<br />
:''[Last lines; The stadium parking lot is about half full on a beautiful cloudless day. The sign outside the stadium displays "JUNIOR HIGH TRACK FINALS". Inside the stadium, young runners loosen up at the starting line of the hundred-yard dash. Dash is among them. He waves to the stands. In the stands, Bob, Helen and Jack-Jack wave back. Coming down the steps is none other than Violet's crush, Tony Rydinger. He waves cooly at some friends and heads toward the concession stand. Pausing when he sees Violet and a friend talking nearby. He approaches them.]''<br />
:''[PA announcements]''<br />
:'''Violet''': Do we have to have cheerleaders at the track meet? I mean, what is that all about?<br />
:'''Violet's friend:''' Well, I always thought it was more like a...<br />
:'''Tony:''' Hey.<br />
:'''Violet:''' Hey.<br />
:'''Tony:''' You’re, uh, Violet, right?<br />
:'''Violet:''' That’s me.<br />
:'''Violet's friend''': See you, Vi.<br />
:''[Her friend leaves]''<br />
:'''Tony:''' You look different.<br />
:'''Violet:''' I feel different. Is different... okay?<br />
:'''Tony:''' Hey, different is... ''[clears throat]'' Different is great. ''[stammering]'' Would you wanna...<br />
:'''Violet:''' Yeah?<br />
:'''Tony:''' Do you think maybe... ''[stammering]'' ...you and I... you know...<br />
:'''Violet''''':'' Yeah?<br />
:'''Tony:''' Do you...<br />
:''[Violet silences Tony with a single finger on his lips. Tony stares at her in shock and wonder.]''<br />
:'''Violet:''' Shh. I like movies. I’ll buy the popcorn. Okay?<br />
:'''Tony:''' ''[stammering]'' A movie. There you go. Yeah...yeah! Wait, wait...so Friday?<br />
:'''Violet:''' Friday. ''[She sits down with Bob, Helen and Jack-Jack]''<br />
:''[The starter pistol fires, and the runners take off. Dash jogs well behind the pack in a confident, easy trot. In the stands Bob, Helen, and Violet cheer Dash on.]''<br />
:'''Bob and Helen:''' Go, Dash, go! Go, go, go! Run, run!<br />
:''[Dash hears them and looks toward the stands.]''<br />
:'''Helen''': Run, Dash! Run!<br />
:''[Dash, his eyes still on his family, accelerates a little and quickly moves toward the front of the pack. Dash, clearly confused now, furrows his brows as he again drops back. The family shouts louder]''<br />
:'''Bob:''' Come on, run! Pick up the pace! Move it, move it! Pace it! Slow down just a little bit! Don’t give up! Make it close!<br />
:''[Understanding, Dash accelerates just enough to scare the leader, crossing the finish line inches behind him.]''<br />
:'''Helen:''' Second!<br />
:'''Bob:''' Close second, close second. Yeah! That’s my boy!<br />
:''[The family crosses the parking lot, Dash sitting atop Bob's shoulders, clutching his second-place trophy. Everyone is happy and together]''<br />
:'''Helen:''' Dash, I'm so proud of you.<br />
:'''Dash:''' I didn't know what the heck you wanted me to do.<br />
:''[The ground begins to quake. The Incredibles stop as the low rumble grows louder. On the far side of the lot, cars begin to be thrown into the air, tossed about like toys. A gargantuan drill spirals out of the ground, throwing dirt and chunks of asphalt in all directions. People run screaming as the enormous metallic vehicle crests and crashes to earth. A door opens on top and a hulking figure in dirty overalls emerges atop a rising platform, his ragged voice amplified through a loudspeaker,]''<br />
:'''Underminer''': '''BEHOLD, THE UNDERMINER!'' I am always beneath you, but nothing is beneath ME! I hereby declare WAR ON PEACE and happiness! Soon all will tremble BEFORE ME!<br />
:''[Camera pans off Bob as he glances at his family. They've already donned their masks, ready as they'll ever be. Camera returns to Bob, revealing that he too has put on his mask. He turns toward their new nemesis and smiles, rips his shirt open to reveal the "i" insignia on the chest of his super suit underneath, the logo of Letter I and The Incredibles; credits roll].''<br />
<br />
== Taglines ==<br />
* Save the day.<br />
* Discover the Side of Superheroes You've Never Seen Before<br />
* Expect The Incredible.<br />
* Twice the hero he used to be!<br />
* Super cool!<br />
* No gut, no glory.<br />
* Sock'er Mom.<br />
<br />
== Cast ==<br />
=== Voice Cast (in Order of Appearance) ===<br />
* [[w:Craig T. Nelson|Craig T. Nelson]] – Robert "Bob" Parr/Mr. Incredible<br />
* [[w:Holly Hunter|Holly Hunter]] – Helen Parr/Elastigirl<br />
* [[w:Samuel L. Jackson|Samuel L. Jackson]] – Lucius Best/Frozone<br />
* [[w:Jason Lee (actor)|Jason Lee]] – Buddy Pine/Syndrome<br />
* Dominique Louis – Bomb Voyage<br />
* [[w:Teddy Newton|Teddy Newton]] – Newsreel Narrator<br />
* [[w:Jean Sincere|Jean Sincere]] – Mrs. Hogenson<br />
* Eli Fucile'''<br>'''Maeve Andrews – Jack-Jack Parr<br />
* [[w:Wallace Shawn|Wallace Shawn]] – Gilbert Huph<br />
* [[w:Spencer Fox|Spencer Fox]] – Dashiell "Dash" Parr<br />
* [[w:Lou Romano|Lou Romano]] – Bernie Kropp<br />
* Wayne Canney – Principal<br />
* [[Sarah Vowell]] – Violet Parr<br />
* Michael Bird – Tony Rydinger<br />
* [[w:Elizabeth Pena|Elizabeth Peña]] – Mirage<br />
* [[w:Bud Luckey|Bud Luckey]] – Rick Dicker<br />
* [[Brad Bird]] – Edna "E" Mode<br />
* Bret Parker – Kari<br />
* Kimberly Clark – Honey<br />
* [[w:John Ratzenberger|John Ratzenberger]] – Underminer<br />
<br />
=== Additional Voices ===<br />
* Nicholas Bird – Rusty McAllister<br />
* [[w:Frank Thomas (animator)|Frank Thomas – Himself]]<br />
* [[w:Ollie Johnston|Ollie Johnston – Himself]]<br />
* [[w:Teddy Newton|Teddy Newton]] – Jet's Automated Captain/Robotic Security Bird/Tablet (uncredited)<br />
* [[w:Joe Ranft|Joe Ranft]] – Soldier<br />
* [[w:Philip Proctor|Phil Proctor]] – Guard #1 (uncredited)<br />
* [[w:Jack Angel|Jack Angel]] – Guard #2 (uncredited)<br />
* Randy Nelson – Police Officer #1<br />
* [[w:Mark Andrews (filmmaker)|Mark Andrews]] – Police Officer #2<br />
* [[w:Peter Sohn|Peter Sohn]] – Mugger<br />
* [[w:Patrick Pinney|Patrick Pinney]] – Oliver Sansweet (uncredited)<br />
* [[w:Bill Farmer|Bill Farmer]] – Oliver Sansweet's Lawyer (uncredited)<br />
* [[Rodger Bumpass]] – Mr. Incredible's Lawyer (uncredited)<br />
* [[w:Pete Docter|Pete Docter]] – Police Officer #3<br />
* Mickie McGowan – Citizen Mother (uncredited)<br />
* Elizabeth Greenberg – Citizen #1<br />
* Katherine Ringgold – Citizen #2<br />
* Deirdre Warin – Old Lady<br />
* [[w:John Walker (film producer)|John Walker]] – Minister (uncredited)<br />
* [[w:Corey Burton|Corey Burton]] (uncredited)<br />
* [[w:Rick Miller (comedian)|Rick Miller]] (uncredited)<br />
<br />
== Trailers ==<br />
=== Teaser Trailer ===<br />
:''[the screen shows Disney and Pixar logos, the text puts up "Walt Disney Pictures presents" and "a Pixar Animation Studios film", fades to the camera zooms by the picture frames, then hearing a phone ringing, then Bob picks up the phone]''<br />
:'''Telephone''': Mr. Incredible, we need your help.<br />
:'''Mr. Incredible''': ''[grabs the outfit, putting black shoes on, then putting long black gloves on, then putting a black mask on]'' Showtime.<br />
:''[tries to put the belt on]''<br />
:'''Helen''': ''[off-screen]'' Honey, come to dinner!<br />
:'''Mr. Incredible''': I can't come to dinner! I've got the... I gotta go!<br />
:''[continues trying to put the belt on]''<br />
:'''Mr. Incredible''': Maybe just a salad, and uh, yeah. Ooh, and some rice cakes!<br />
:''[continues trying to put the belt on, then trying to put the belt on, slamming the desk, then trying to put the belt on, then trying to put the belt on, sitting on a chair, then trying to put the belt on, stamping on the ground, then looking at the belt, then trying to put the belt on, hitting the chair]''<br />
:'''Mr. Incredible''': Come on.<br />
:''[takes a deep breath, putting the belt on, the belt breaks off of him, blowing the lights out, then the film's title, then the text puts up "SAVE THE DAY" and "11 - 5 - 2004", the film website, labeled "Incredibles.com", is bellow]''<br />
<br />
=== Theatrical Trailer #1 ===<br />
Random<br />
<br />
=== Theatrical Trailer #2 ===<br />
Random<br />
<br />
=== Next Movie: ===<br />
''[[Mickey's Twice Upon a Christmas]]'' (2004)<br />
<br />
== See also ==<br />
* [[Incredibles 2]]<br />
<br />
== External links ==<br />
{{wikipedia}}<br />
{{commonscat}}<br />
* {{IMDb title|id=0317705|title=The Incredibles}}<br />
* {{rotten-tomatoes|id=incredibles|title=The Incredibles}}<br />
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20050508020251/http://jupiter.walagata.com/w/frodo01/the_incredibles_transcript.htm Unofficial transcript of the movie]<br />
<br />
<br />
{{Authority control}}<br />
<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:Incredibles 1, The}}<br />
[[Category:2004 computer-animated films]]<br />
[[Category:2004 American animated films]]<br />
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]<br />
[[Category:American children's animated action films]]<br />
[[Category:American children's animated superhero films]]<br />
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]<br />
[[Category:Best Animated Feature Academy Award winners]]<br />
[[Category:Films about revenge]]<br />
[[Category:Films directed by Brad Bird]]<br />
[[Category:Films set on fictional islands]]<br />
[[Category:Pixar]]<br />
[[Category:The Incredibles]]<br />
[[Category:2000s English-language films]]</div>~2026-44937-18https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Shrek_2&diff=3991803Shrek 22026-08-19T19:26:19Z<p>~2026-44937-18: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{italic title}}<br />
[[File:Shrek 2.png|thumb|]]<br />
'''''[[w:Shrek 2|Shrek 2]]''''' is a [[w:2004 in film|2004]] [[w:animated film|animated film]] in which Princess Fiona's parents invite her and Shrek to dinner to celebrate her marriage, not knowing that the newlyweds are both ogres. It is a sequel to the [[Shrek|previous film]]. Produced by [[w:DreamWorks Animation|DreamWorks Animation]], streaming on [[w:Universal Pictures|Peacock]].<br />
:''Directed by [[w:Andrew Adamson|Andrew Adamson]], [[w:Kelly Asbury|Kelly Asbury]], and [[w:Conrad Vernon|Conrad Vernon]]. Written by [[w:Andrew Adamson|Andrew Adamson]], [[w:Joe Stillman|Joe Stillman]], [[w:J. David Stem|J. David Stem]], and [[w:David N. Weiss|David N. Weiss]].''<br />
{{center|'''Once Upon Another Time...'''([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}<br />
<br />
== Shrek ==<br />
* For five minutes. Could you not be yourself...'''FOR FIVE MINUTES?! '''''AHHHHH!!! ARE WE THERE YET?!?!'''''<br />
* Nice catch, Donkey. ''['''Puss''': Finally. Good use for your mouth.]''<br />
* A cute, button nose? Thick, wavy locks?? Taut, round buttocks?! I'm-I'm... ''['''Jill''': Gorgeous.]''<br />
*''[Banging the window, shouting for Fiona]'' Fiona! Fiona! Fiona! Fionaaaaa! ''['''Fairy Godmother''': Fiona? Fiona? Oh, shoot. I don't think they can us, pigeon.]''<br />
* But I love her. ''['''Fairy Godmother''': If you really love her, you'll let her go.]''<br />
* ''[from DVD menu, after pressing "New from DreamWorks Animation"]'' All right! Well, here we go!<br />
<br />
== Puss in Boots ==<br />
[[File:Puss in Boots, 2011, Australia-1.jpg|200px|thumb|Haha! Fear me if you dare!]]<br />
* Who dares enter my room?<br />
* You are told correct. But for this, I charge a great deal of money.<br />
* Hmm. You have engaged my valuable services. Your Majesty. Just tell me. Where i can find this ogre.<br />
* Ha-ha! Fear me if you dare!<br />
* Pray from mercy from Puss in Boots!<br />
* Finally! A good use for your mouth.<br />
* ''['''Guard''': Catnip.]'' That's, uh, not mine.<br />
* ''[from DVD menu, after pressing "Special Features"]'' Glad to be of assistance.<br />
<br />
== Fiona ==<br />
* Dear diary, Sleeping Beauty is having a slumber party tomorrow, but Dad says I can't go. He never lets me out after sunset. Dad says I'm going away for a while, must be like some finishing school or something. Mom says that when I'm old enough, my handsome Prince Charming will rescue me from my tower and bring me back to my family and, we'll all live happily ever after.<br />
* ''[from DVD menu, after pressing "Far Far Away Idol", burping]'' Excuse me!<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
:''[first lines]''<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': ''[his first words; narrating in his smoking, romantic, luscious, lustrous, regal, soothing and sexy voice]'' Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away, the King and Queen were blessed with a beautiful baby girl, and throughout the land, everyone was happy...until the sun went down, and they saw that their daughter was cursed with a frightful enchantment that took hold each and every night. Desperate, they sought the help of a fairy godmother who had them lock the young princess away in a tower, there to await the kiss of the handsome Prince Charming! ''[the scene shows a tall slightly muscular Prince Charming in a a cuirass and armor with a Red cape riding on his white horse]'' It was he who would chance the perilous journey through blistering cold and scorching desert, traveling for many days and nights, risking life and limb to reach the Dragon's Keep. ''[he rides through a forest, snowy mountains and barren desert for several days,arrives at the Dragon's Keep, an ominous castle surrounded by a moat of lava, but sees that the wooden bridge leading across the lava was destroyed by the Dragon. Uses his bow to shoot a roped arrow to a wooden post on the other side and uses it as a zipline. Looks up at a tower that rises above the rest of the castle, a light shining from its window. He enters the Dragon's Keep]'' For he was ''the'' bravest, ''[takes off his helmet showing his drop-dead gorgeous pretty slim face, bewitching blue eyes, high cheekbones, fair skin, pronounced smashing jawline and strong chin, thick exquisite stunning blonde eyebrows, elegant graceful slender pointy nose and his lips covered in cherry flavored glitter lip gloss forming an alluring bonny winsome ravishing pulchritudinous irresistible and heavenly smile]'' and most handsome... ''[unties his hairnet and shakes in slow motion his Just washed and clean with shampoo and conditioner, beautiful, majestic, glossy, gorgeous, shiny, silky, lustrous, glorious, flowing, marvelous, wavy, smooth, soft and ricocheting neck length blonde hair]'' ...In all the land. And it was destiny that his kiss ''[sprays perfume in his mouth to have a good breath]'' would break the dreaded curse. He alone would climb to the highest room of the tallest tower to the princess's chambers, cross the room to her sleeping silhouette, pull back the gossamer curtains to find her... ''[He continues through the abandoned castle and reaches the princess' tower. enters the princess' room and makes his way to her bed where a figure lays down, obscured by the bed's curtains, pulls the curtain and gasps; the figure is no princess--it's Big Bad Wolf.]'' <br />
:'''Big Bad Wolf''': What? <br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Princess... Fiona?<br />
:'''Big Bad Wolf''': No!<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Oh, thank heavens. Where is she?<br />
:'''Big Bad Wolf''': She's on her honeymoon. <br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Honeymoon? With whom?!<br />
<br />
----<br />
:'''Shrek''': It's so good to be home! Just you and me and...<br />
:'''Donkey''': Two can be as bad as one...<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Shrek! Fiona! Aren't you two a sight for sore eyes! Give us a hug, Shrek, you old love machine. And look at you, Mrs. Shrek. How 'bout a side of sugar for the steed?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey, what are you doing here?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, I was just taking care of your love nest for you!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, you mean like sorting the mail and watering the plants?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Yeah, and feeding the fish!<br />
:'''Shrek''': I don't have any fish.<br />
:'''Donkey''': You do now. I call that one Shrek and the other Fiona. That Shrek is a rascally devil. Get your... ''[mumbling to the "fish"]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, will you look at the time? I guess you'd better be going.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Don't you wanna tell me all about your trip? Or how about a game of Parcheesi?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Actually, Donkey, shouldn't you be getting home to Dragon?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, yeah, that. I don't know. She's been all moody and stuff lately. So I thought I'd move back in with you guys!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Well, you know, we're always happy to see you, Donkey. <br />
:'''Shrek''': But Fiona and I are married now. We need a little time, you know, to be together. Just with each other. Alone.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Say no more, say no more. You don't have to worry about a thing. I will always be here to make sure nobody bothers you.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Yes, roomie?<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''You're'' bothering ''me.''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, okay, all right. Cool. Me and Pinocchio were just gonna try to catch a tournament anyway, so maybe I'll see y'all on Sunday for a barbecue or something. ''[heads outside]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': He'll be fine. Now where were we? ''[realizes]'' Oh, I think I remember. ''[leans in to kiss Fiona, but suddenly sees Donkey in front of him]'' Donkey!<br />
:'''Donkey''': I know, I know! Alone! I'm going! I'm going! Hey, what do you want me to tell those other guys?<br />
<br />
----<br />
:'''Messenger''': ''[swats Reggie with the scroll]'' Enough, Reggie. ''[unfolds the scroll]'' "Dearest, Princess Fiona. You are hereby summoned to the Kingdom of Far, Far Away for a royal ball in celebration of your marriage at which time the King will bestow his royal blessing upon you ''[looks up to see Shrek]'' and your... uh... Prince Charming. Love, the King and Queen of Far, Far Away. ''[closes the scroll]'' aka, Mom and Dad."<br />
:'''Fiona''': Mom and Dad?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Prince Charming?<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[heads outside]'' Royal ball?! Can I come?<br />
:'''Shrek''': We're not going.<br />
:'''Fiona and Donkey''': ''[shocked]'' What?<br />
:'''Shrek''': I mean, don't you think they might be a bit... shocked to see you like this?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Well, they might be a bit surprised. But they're my parents, Shrek. They love me. And don't worry, they're gonna love you, too.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Yeah, right. Somehow, I don't think I'll be welcome at the country club.<br />
:'''Fiona''': Will you stop it? They're not like that.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Then how do you explain Sergeant Pompous and the Fancy Pants Club Band?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Oh, come on! You could at least give them a chance!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, to do what, sharpen their pitchforks?<br />
:'''Fiona''': No, they just want to give you their blessing.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, great. Now I need their blessing?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Well, if you wanna be a part of this family, yes!<br />
:'''Shrek''': And ''who'' says I wanna be a part of this family?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Um, ''you'' did, when you married ''me''!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Well, there's some fine print for you!<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[sighs exasperatedly]'' So, that's it? You won't come?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Trust me, it's a bad idea. We are not going, and ''that's final!''<br />
----<br />
:''[the onion carriage approaches slowly beside the sign "700 Miles to Far, Far Away" on it, beside a line up of trees and humongous mountains]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Shrek''': No.<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage surrounded by pouring rain and thunder on a stone-shaped mountain]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Not yet.<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage on a snowy mountain surrounded by a large line up of falling snow, the sign reads "200 Miles to Far, Far Away" also]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[sing-song]'' Okay, are we there yet?<br />
:'''Fiona''': No.<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage surrounded by leafless trees in the snow]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Shrek''': No!<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage next to stone-shaped walls made with baron rock]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are; we there, yet?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Yes.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Really?<br />
:'''Shrek''': No!<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage on a bridge next to a giant waterfall]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Fiona''': No!<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage passing the sign reading "100 Miles to Far, Far Away" in front of a line up of wooden oak trees]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Shrek''': No, we're not!<br />
:''[scene dissolves]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': ARE WE THERE YET?<br />
:'''Shrek/Fiona''': <big>'''NO!!!!'''</big><br />
:''[split second]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there y...<br />
:'''Shrek''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Hey, that's no...<br />
:'''Shrek''': That's not funny.<br />
:'''Donkey''': That's...<br />
:'''Shrek''': That's immature!<br />
----<br />
:''[Shrek gulps at the dinner table. To his sides sits Lillian and Fiona, and across from him sits Harold. Lillian looks around nervously and Harold angrily stares at Shrek. Shrek, unsure of how to eat the food on his plate properly, plops it in his mouth, and grins with the food still stuck in his teeth. Lillian cringes. Fiona tries to sip her drink courteously]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[lets out a loud belch that interrupts a conversation]'' Oh! Excuse me.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Better out than in, I always say. Eh, Fiona? ''[he and Fiona laughed]'' That's good enough... '' [they stopped laughing after neither Harold nor Lillian join in]'' I guess not.<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[from another room]'' What do you mean, "not on the list"? Don't tell me you don't know who I am. ''[bursts into the scene from the kitchen]'' Hey! What's happening, everybody? Thanks for waiting. You know I had the hardest time finding this place. ''[sits next to Harold]''<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[angrily]'' No, no! Bad Donkey! Bad, down!<br />
:'''Fiona''': No, no, no, Dad! Dad! It's all right! It's all right. He’s with us. He helped rescue me from the dragon.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Yup, that's me: the noble steed. ''[to the server]'' Hey, waiter! How ‘bout a bowl for the steed?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, boy. ''[slurps from the bowl]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': Um, Shrek?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Yeah? Oh, sorry! Great soup, Mrs Q. Mmm!<br />
:'''Fiona''': No, no, no. Darling. ''[demonstrates that the bowl he ate from is for washing his hands]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh. ''[chuckles]''<br />
:'''Lillian''': ''[as the rest does the same]'' So, Fiona, tell us about where you live?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Well, Shrek owns his own land. ''[to Shrek]'' Don't you, honey?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, yes! It's in an enchanted forest abundant in squirrels and...cute little duckies and--<br />
:'''Donkey''': What?! ''[laughs]'' I know you ain't talkin' about the swamp!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[clenches through his teeth]'' Donkey.<br />
:'''Harold''': An ogre from a swamp. Oh! How original. ''[Donkey dunks his mouth in his bowl and drinks]''<br />
:'''Lillian''': Well, I suppose that would be a fine place to raise the children...<br />
:''[Harold starts choking on his drink and Shrek accidentally swallows his spoon. They both cough, choke and splutter until Shrek spits out his spoon onto the table.]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[chuckles]'' It's a bit early to be thinking about that, isn't it?<br />
:'''Harold''': Indeed. I just started eating.<br />
:'''Lillian''': Harold!<br />
:'''Shrek''': What's that supposed to mean?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Dad, it's great, okay?<br />
:'''Harold''': Well, for his type, yes.<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[offended]'' ''My'' type?!<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[starts to leave, nervously]'' Uh, I gotta go to the bathroom.<br />
:'''The Chef''': ''[he and a host of servers enter the room with dinner, including a whole turkey, lobster, and a roast pig.]'' Dinner is-a served!<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[sits back down]'' Never mind, I can hold it. ''[The servers set the food on the table.]''<br />
:'''The Chef''': Bon appetit!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, Mexican food! My favorite!<br />
:'''Lillian''': Well, let's just not sit here with our tummies rumblin', everybody dig in.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Don't mind if I do, Lillian!<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[pulls the lobster towards himself before Donkey can take a bite out of it]'' So, I suppose any grandchildren I could expect from you would be--<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[pulls the turkey towards him]'' Ogres? ''Yes.''<br />
:'''Lillian''': Not that there's anything wrong with that. Right, Harold?<br />
:'''Harold''': Oh, no! No! Of course, not! That is, assuming you don't ''[ferociously and savagely stabs the knife into the lobster]'' ''EAT'' your own ''[ferociously and savagely slices open the lobster]'' ''YOUNG!''<br />
:'''Fiona''': Dad!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, no, we usually prefer the ones who've been... ''[ferociously and savagely rips off both drumsticks from the turkey]'' ''LOCKED'' away in a tower! ''[ferociously and savagely takes a bite out of one drumstick in his left hand]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[begging]'' Shrek, please!<br />
:'''Harold''': I only did that because I '''''love''''' her.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, aye! Daycare or dragon-guarded castle?! ''[ferociously and savagely pulls out a wish bone from the turkey]''<br />
:'''Harold''': You wouldn't understand! You're not her father!<br />
:''[Fiona sighs in exasperation and facepalms herself as Shrek and Harold continue to rip apart their food in ferocity and savagery, sending bits and pieces flying across the table.]''<br />
:'''Lillian''': It's so nice to have the family together for dinner. ''[Shrek and Harold stand up from their seats in rage and glare at each other, then ferociously and savagely tug over the roast pig in the middle of the table, accidentally sending it flying upwards]'' Harold!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Shrek!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Fiona?!<br />
:'''Harold''': Fiona!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Mom!<br />
:'''Lillian''': Harold!<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[happily]'' Donkey!<br />
:''[The roast pig lands on the table in front of Donkey and Lillian with a thud; Fiona angrily stands up and glares at Harold and Shrek, then runs out of the room, causing Harold to become enraged and Shrek to sigh.]''<br />
----<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[after popping the bubble, close encountering Fiona]'' My name is Fairy Godmother.<br />
:'''Fiona''': I have a fairy godmother!<br />
----<br />
:'''Shrek''': Fiona? Fiona?! ''[barges into the room along with Donkey. Fairy Godmother gasps at Shrek]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, you got a puppy?! All I got in my room was shampoo.<br />
:'''Fiona''': Oh, um, Fairy Godmother, furniture, I'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[confused]'' Your husband? What did you say? When did this happen?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Shrek is the one ''who'' rescued me.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[angrily]'' But that can't be right!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[wearily]'' Oh, great! More relatives!<br />
:'''Fiona''': She's just trying to help.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Good! She can help us pack. Get your coat, dear. We're leaving.<br />
:'''Fiona''': What?!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Leaving? I don't wanna leave.<br />
:'''Fiona''': When did you decide this?<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[as he is packing]'' Shortly after arrivin'.<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[remorsefully]'' Look, I'm sorry...<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': No, no, no, that's okay. I need to go anyway. But remember, dear, if you should ever need me, ''[whips out a "Happiness" business card]'' happiness is just a teardrop away.<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[snatches the "Happiness" card from Fairy Godmother; sarcastically]'' Thanks, but we've got ''all'' the happiness we need. Happy, happy, happy.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': So I see. ''[laughs in a not so good way]'' Let's go, Kyle. ''[Kyle whips the horses on the carriage and he and the Fairy Godmother leaves]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[sarcastically]'' Very nice, Shrek.<br />
:'''Shrek''': What? I told you that comin' here was a bad idea.<br />
:'''Fiona''': You could have at least tried to get along with my father.<br />
:'''Shrek''': You know, somehow, I don't think I was going to get daddy's blessing, even if I did want it.<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[as a bichon Frise starts barking]'' Well, do you think it might be nice if somebody asked me what I wanted?!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Sure. Do you want me to pack for you?!<br />
:'''Fiona''': You're unbelievable! You're behavin' like a... ''[hesitates and sighs]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Go on, say it!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Like an ''OGRE!''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Well, here's a newsflash for you, whether your parents like it or not, '''''I AM AN OGRE.''''' ''[the puppy barks even louder; Shrek furiously and roars at it, scares the puppy, who covers its face in fear]'' And guess what, Princess? That's '''''NOT''''' about to change.<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[sadly walks to the door]'' I've made changes for you, Shrek. Think about that. ''[leaves]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[deadpan]'' That's real smooth, Shrek. ''[imitating Shrek]'' ''I'M AN OGRE! UARGH!''<br />
:''[Shrek walks to the door and hears Fiona sob from outside of the bedroom and sighs in guilt, realizing what he has done to hurt her feelings. The camera pans northeast to Harold and Lillian's room.]''<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[after hearing Shrek and Fiona's argument]'' I knew this would happen!<br />
:'''Lillian''': You should. You started it.<br />
:'''Harold''': I can hardly believe that, Lillian. I mean, really, he's the ogre, not me.<br />
:'''Lillian''': I think, Harold, you're taking this a little too personally. ''This'' is Fiona's choice.<br />
:'''Harold''': Yes, but she was supposed to choose the prince ''we'' picked out for her! I mean, you expect me to give my blessings to this... this... thing?<br />
:'''Lillian''': Fiona does, and she'll never forgive you if you don't. I don't want to lose our daughter again, Harold. ''[Harold sighs]'' Oh, you act as if love is totally predictable. Don't you remember when we were young and, oh, we used to walk down by the lily pond, and they were in bloom.<br />
:'''Harold''': Our first kiss. IT'S NOT THE SAME! I don't think you realize that our daughter has married a MONSTER!<br />
:'''Lillian''': Oh, stop being such a drama king.<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[as Fairy Godmother's carriage approaches]'' Fine, fine! Pretend that there's nothing wrong! La-di-da, di-da, di-da! It's all wonderful! I like to know how could it get any worse!<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[opens the door]'' Hello, Harold.<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[scared]'' Aaah!<br />
:'''Lillian''': What happened?<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[hesitantly]'' Uh, nothing! Nothing, dear! Just the old crusade wound playing up a bit! ''[chuckles]'' I’ll just stretch it out here for a while. ''[closes the balcony door]''<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': You better get in. We need to talk.<br />
:'''Harold''': Actually, Fairy Godmother, just off to bed. ''[yawns]'' Already taken my pills, and they tend to make me a bit drowsy. So, um how about... we make this a quick visit. What? ''[bumps into two of her henchmen, who then get him in the carriage]'' Oh, hello.<br />
----<br />
:'''Harold''': So, what's new?<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[to Harold]'' You remember my son, Prince Charming? ''[shows him sitting next to her]''<br />
:'''Harold''': Charming! Is that you? My gosh, it's been years! When, uh... When did you get back?<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Oh, about five minutes ago, actually. ''[enraged]'' After I endured blistering winds, scorching desert, I climbed to the highest room of the tallest tower--<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[cuts him off]'' Tut, tut, tut. Mummy can handle this. ''[to King Harold, using the same tone he used earlier]'' He endures blistering winds and scorching desert! He climbs to the highest bloody room of the tallest bloody tower, and what does he find? Some gender-confused wolf telling him that ''his'' princess... '''''is already married!'''''<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[stammers]'' I mean, it wasn't my fault; He didn't get there in time.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': '''''STOP THE CAR!''' [The carriage screeches to a stop]'' Harold... ''[two evil henchmen crack their knuckles as the window rolls down]'' You forced me to do something I '''''really''''' don't want to do.<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[gasps]'' Where are we?<br />
:''[It is revealed that the carriage has pulled up at a fast-food restaurant drive-thru.]''<br />
:'''Fast-food Clerk''': ''[cheerfully]'' Well, hi there! Welcome to Friar's Fat Boy. May I take your order?<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': My diet is ruined! I hope you're happy. ''[to the fast-food clerk]'' Uh, okay. Two renaissance wraps, no mayo... chili rings...<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': I'll have the medieval meal.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': One medieval meal and, Harold. Curly fries?<br />
:'''Harold''': Oh no. No, thank you.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Sourdough soft taco, then? What do you want?<br />
:'''Harold''': No, really. I'm fine.<br />
:'''Fast-food Clerk''': ''[gives Fairy Godmother their meals]'' Your order, Fairy Godmother. ''[also gives her a free double-headed toy axe]'' And ''this'' comes with the medieval meal.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[gives the axe to Charming]'' Here you are, dear. ''[the carriage flies away]'' You see, we made a deal, Harold, and I assume you don't want me to go back on my part.<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[sighs deeply]'' Indeed not.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': So, Fiona and Charming ''will be together''.<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[doubtfully]'' Yes.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Oh, believe me, Harold. It's what's best, not only for your daughter.''[She takes a bite of her wrap taco and talks with her mouth full]'' But for your kingdom.<br />
:''[The carriage pulls up back at the castle and one of her henchmen shoves Harold out]''<br />
:'''Harold''': Well, what am ''I'' supposed to do about it?<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[tosses the double-headed toy axe into his hands]'' Use your imagination. ''[flies off]''<br />
----<br />
:'''Harold''': Uh, no. You must be mistaking me for someone else. Uh, excuse me. I'm looking for the Ugly Stepsister. ''[said Ugly Stepsister reveals herself]'' Ah. There you are. Right. You see, I need to have someone taken care of.<br />
:'''Doris''': Who's the guy?<br />
:'''Harold''': Um, he's not a guy, per se, um, he's ''[whispers]'' an ''ogre''.<br />
:''[The entire bar gasp at Harold saying "ogre"; the piano stops playing.]''<br />
:'''Doris''': Hey, buddy, let me clue you in. There's only one fellow who can handle a job like that, and, frankly... he don't like to be ''disturbed''.<br />
:'''Harold''': Where could I find him? ''[heads to the backroom and knocks, slowly opens the door]'' Uh, hello? ''[sees a pair of black boots beside the shining window]''<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[He opens his green eyes]'' Who dares enter my room?<br />
:'''Harold''': Sorry. I hope I'm not interrupting anything. But I was told that you are the one to handle an ogre... problem.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': You are told correct. ''[scoffs]'' But for this, I charge a great deal of money.<br />
:'''Harold''': Would this be enough? ''[places a bag of coins on the table]''<br />
:''[Puss in Boots stands up and raises his sword to slice off the string, causing gold coins to spill out of the sack.]''<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Hmm. You have engaged my valuable services. ''[grins]'' Your Majesty. Just tell me: Where I can find this ogre?<br />
----<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[to Shrek, after reading Fiona's diary]'' Oh, sorry; I hope I'm not interrupting anything.<br />
:'''Shrek''': No, no; I was, uh...reading a scary book.<br />
----<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[It is an orange cat wearing black hat and cape]'' Ha-ha. Fear me, if you dare. ''[hisses]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, look, a little cat.<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[sees the sword in Puss' paws]'' Look out, Shrek! He got a piece!<br />
:'''Shrek''': It's a cat, Donkey. Come here little, kitty, kitty, kitty. Come on. Kitty. ''[Puss screeches and attacks Shrek and he screams]'' <br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[gasps in shock]'' Hold on, Shrek!<br />
:'''Shrek''': GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! OH, GOD!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Shrek, hold still! ''[kicks the Shrek's bottom and moans]'' Did I miss?<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[painfully]'' No, you got him.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[after he attacks Shrek]'' Now ye ogre! Pray for mercy from... ''[slashes "P" on the tree]'' Puss... in Boots!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[groans]'' I'll kill that cat!<br />
:'''Donkey''': No!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Ah-ha-ha-ha! ''[drops the sword, then starts heaves for a second, confusing Shrek and Donkey; spits out the hairball and coughs]'' Phew. ''[chuckles]'' Hairball.<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[disgusted]'' Oh, that is nasty!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[picks up Puss by the back of the neck]'' What do you reckon we should do with him?<br />
:'''Donkey''': I say we take the sword and neuter him right here; Give him the Bob Barker treatment!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[frightened]'' Oh, no! Por favor! Please! I implore you! It was nothing personal, Señor! I was doing it only for my family. My mother, she is sick. And my father lives off the garbage! The king offered me much in gold and I have a litter of brothers--<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[covers Puss' mouth with his finger]'' Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Fiona's father paid you to do this?<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': The rich king? Sí. ''[Shrek drops him to the ground, who screeches]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[sighs]'' Well, so much for Dad's royal blessing.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, come on, Shrek, don't feel bad. Almost everybody that meets you wants to kill you.<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[sits on the rock]'' Gee, thanks. ''[looks down at the river reflection and sighs]'' Maybe Fiona would have been better off if I were some sort of Prince Charming.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Sí, that's what the king said. ''[Donkey glares angrily]'' Oh, uh...sorry. I thought that question was directed at me.<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[walks over to Shrek]'' Shrek, Fiona knows you'd do anything for her.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Well, it's not like I wouldn't change if I could. I just...I just wish I could make her happy. ''[pauses out; to Donkey]'' Hold the phone... ''[pulls out Fairy Godmother's business card]'' "Happiness." ''[flips it over]'' "A tear drop away." Donkey, think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, man, where do I begin? Well first there was the time that old farmer tried to sell me for some magic beans. I ain't never got over that. Then this fool went off and had a party and he had the guests trying to pin the tail on me. Then they got all drunk and start beatin' me with a stick going, "Piñata! Piñata!" What is a piñata, anyway?!<br />
:'''Shrek''': No, Donkey, I need you to cry!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Yeah, well don't go projecting on me! I know you're feelin' bad, but you gotta let your own- ''[Puss angrily stomps on his hoof]'' '''''OW!!!!!!!!!''''' ''[tearfully]'' You little hairy litter-licking sack of... ''[Donkey's tears shed and Shrek lets it drop onto the card, conjuring a bubble with Fairy Godmother in it]''<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''["Voice Message" Bubble forms after landing]'' What? Is it on? Is it on? ''[clears her throat]'' This is Fairy Godmother. I'm either away from my desk or with a client, but if you come by the office, we'll be glad to give you a personal appointment. Have a Happy Ever After! ''[the bubble pops]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Ohhh.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Are you up for a little quest, Donkey?<br />
:'''Donkey''': That's more like it! Shrek and Donkey, on another whirlwind adventure! ''[singing]'' Ain't no stoppin' us now! Whoo! We're on the move!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Stop, ogre! ''[bows to Shrek]'' I have misjudged you.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Join the club. We've got jackets.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': On my honor, I am obliged to accompany you until I have saved your life as you have spared me mine.<br />
:'''Donkey''': I'm sorry, the position of annoying talking animal has already been taken. Let's go, Shrek! ''[sees Shrek walking to Puss]'' Shrek? ''[slightly pauses; Shrek looks down at Puss, who gives him a cute, helpless look; Shrek smiles]'' Shrek!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Aw, come on, Donkey. Look at him; in his wee little boots. You know, how many cats can wear boots? Honestly. Aw, let's keep him!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Say what?! ''[Puss purrs and Shrek marvels at his cuteness; groans in frustration]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Aw, listen. He's purring!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, so now it's cute!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Aw, come on, Donkey. Lighten up.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Lighten up?! Oh, I should lighten up?! Look who's telling who to lighten up!<br />
----<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[close encountering a humongous factory with colored smoke]'' Oh, no; that's the old Keebler's place! Let's just back away slowly.<br />
----<br />
:''[Shrek, Donkey, and Puss arrive at the Fairy Godmother's potion factory]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Hi. I'm here to see...<br />
:'''Jerome''': The Fairy Godmother. I'm sorry, she is not in.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[from the gramophone intercom]'' Jerome! Coffee and a monte Christo, now.<br />
:'''Jerome''': ''[sighs]'' Yes, Fairy Godmother. Right away. ''[to Shrek]'' Look, she's not seeing any client today, okay?<br />
:'''Shrek''': That's okay, buddy. We're from the union.<br />
:'''Jerome''': The union?<br />
:'''Shrek''': We represent the workers in all magical industries both evil and benign.<br />
:'''Jerome''': Oh, oh, right.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Are you feeling at all degraded or oppressed?<br />
:'''Jerome''': Uh... ''[turns the gramophone intercom away from him]'' A little. W-We don't even have dental.<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[whispers to Donkey]'' They don't even have dental. ''[to Jerome]'' Okay, we're just gonna have a look around. Oh, by the way, I think it would better if the Fairy Godmother didn't know we were here. Know what I'm saying? Huh?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Hmm?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Huh?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Huh? Huh?! '''''HUH?!?!'''''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Stop it!<br />
:'''Jerome''': Of course. Go right in.<br />
----<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Ah, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh... "Princess"! ''Cinderella''. Here we are: "Lived happily ever after." Oh. ''[fake chuckles]'' No ogres. Let's see. ''Snow White''. "A handsome prince." Ah, no ogres. ''[[Sleeping Beauty (1959 film)|Sleeping Beauty]]''. Oh, no ogres. ''[[Hansel and Gretel (2002 film)|Hansel and Gretel]]''. No. ''[[Thumbelina (1994 film)|Thumbelina]]''. No! ''The Golden Bird'', ''[[The Little Mermaid (1989 film)|The Little Mermaid]]'', ''[[Pretty Woman]]''. No, no, no, no, NO! You see, ogres don't live happily ever after.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Alright, look, lady!<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Don't you point those dirty green sausages at me! ''[pushes his finger out of her face]''<br />
:'''Worker''': Your Monte Christo and coffee. Oh! Sorry.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Ah, that's okay. We were just leaving. Very sorry to have wasted your time, Miss Godmother.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Just... go.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Come on, guys. ''[leaves]''<br />
----<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, yeah, you're right. I'm sure nice BM is the perfect solution for marital problems!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Elfa Seltzer.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Uh-uh.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Hex Lax. <br />
:'''Shrek''': No. Try "handsome".<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Sorry, no handsome. ''[finds a blue potion bottle labeled; "Happily Ever After" in the restricted shelf]'' Hey, how about Happily Ever After?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Well, what does it do? <br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': It says "Beauty Divine".<br />
:'''Donkey''': In some creatures, donkeys are revered as the wisest of all creatures. Especially us talking ones.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey! Then we'll have to. We got company. <br />
:'''Donkey''': Will you get on with this.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Hurry! ''[Puss pulls the blue potion, but drops it]'' Nice catch, Donkey.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Finally! A good use for your mouth. ''[More colors of potions drop, the siren sounds, and the door begins to close.]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Come on!<br />
----<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': What?! Where is he, mum? ''[raises his sword due to the incident of Fairy Godmother's potion factory]'' I shall rend their heads from their shoulders! I will smite them where he stabs. He will rue the very day HE STOLE MY KINGDOM FROM ME!<br />
----<br />
:''[After escaping Fairy Godmother's potion factory]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[reading the potion bottle]'' "Happily Ever After Potion. Maximum strength. "For you and your true love. If one of you drinks this, you both will be fine. Happiness, comfort and beauty divine."<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[confused]'' You both will be fine?<br />
:'''Shrek''': I guess it means it'll affect Fiona too. ''[opens the potion bottle]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Hey, man, this don't feel right. My donkey senses are tingling all over. So why don't you just drop that jug o' voodoo, and let's get out of here.<br />
:'''Shrek''': It says, "beauty divine". How bad can it be? ''[sniffs the potion and sneezes]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': A-ha! See, You're allergic to that stuff. You'll have a reaction. And if you think that I'll be smearing Vapor Rub all over your chest, think again!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Boss, just in case there is something wrong with the potion... allow me to take the first sip. It would be an honor to lay my life on the line for you.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, no, no. I don't think so. If there'll be any animal testing, I'll do it. That’s the best friend's job. Now give me that bottle. ''[snatches the potion bottle from Shrek's hands with his mouth and starts drinking it, but Shrek snatches it back from Donkey]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': How do you feel?<br />
:'''Donkey''': I don't ''feel'' any different. Do I look any different?<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': You still look like an ass to me.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Maybe it doesn't work on donkeys. Well, here's to us, Fiona.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Shrek? You drink that, there's no going back.<br />
:'''Shrek''': I know.<br />
:'''Donkey''': No more wallowing in the mud?<br />
:'''Shrek''': I know.<br />
:'''Donkey''': No more itchy butt crack?<br />
:'''Shrek''': I know!<br />
:'''Donkey''': But you love being an ogre!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''I know!'' ''[sighs]'' But I love Fiona more. ''[starts chugging the potion]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Shrek, no! Wait! ''[Shrek swallows the potion, then feels his stomach gurglin'. Donkey and Puss hides behind the rock, then Shrek farts]'' Got to be... Shrek, I think you grabbed the "Farty Ever After" potion.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Maybe it's a dud.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Or maybe Fiona and I were never meant to be.<br />
:''[Dark storm clouds appear above Shrek, Donkey and Puss.]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Uh-oh. What did I tell you? I feel something coming on. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die! ''[rain starts pouring, soaking the trio and getting them wet]'' Oh, sweet sister, mother of mercy! '''I'm melting!''' '''''I'M MELTING!!'''''<br />
:'''Shrek''': It's just the rain, Donkey.<br />
:''[Donkey chuckles as they head to a barn for some shelter. The blue ooze from Shrek's sneeze reaction on the mushroom transforms into a flower rose.]''<br />
----<br />
:''[After Shrek, Donkey and Puss arrived at the barn for shelter for the night]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Shrek, don't worry. Things seem bad because it's dark and rainy and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you. ''[Puss hisses at him]'' It'll be better in the morning. You'll see. ''[sings, then gets dizzy]'' The sun'll come out... Tomorrow... Bet your bottom...<br />
:'''Shrek''': Bet my bottom?<br />
:'''Donkey''': I'm comin', Elizabeth! ''[faints]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey? A-Are you all right?<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Hey, boss. Let's shave him.<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[gets dizzy]'' D-Donkey...? ''[groans and faints and land on Puss’ tail as he yowls off-screen]''<br />
----<br />
:''[Later this morning, the Jill and maidens woke up]''<br />
:'''Jill''': Good morning, sleepyhead.<br />
:'''Maidans''': Good morning! We lover your kitty.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, my head.<br />
:'''Jill''': Here. I fetched you a pail of water.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Thanks. ''[sees his human hands, picks up the wooden bucket; sees a human version of himself, drops the bucket and spills water]'' Oh. ''[checks his skin to make sure]'' A cute, button nose? Thick, wavy locks? Thick, round buttocks? I must be...<br />
----<br />
:'''Knight''': Halt!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Tell Princess Fiona her husband Sir Shrek is here to see you!<br />
:''[A white bird flies past one of the windows of the Far, Far Away Castle and goes to Fiona's room. Fiona looks at the reflection, realizing she is a human again, and screams.]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Fiona!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Shrek?<br />
----<br />
:''[the Fairy Godmother raises her wand and doors close, the Chest of Drawers blocks Shrek's way]''<br />
:'''Talking Chest Drawer''': You wanna dance, pretty boy?<br />
----<br />
:'''Doris''': There you go, boys.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Just leave the bottle, Doris.<br />
:'''Doris''': Hey, why the long face?<br />
:'''Shrek''': It was all just a stupid mistake. I never should have rescued her from that tower in the first place.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': I hate Mondays.<br />
:'''Donkey''': I can't believe you're just gonna walk away from the best thing that happened to you.<br />
:'''Shrek''': What choice do I have? She loves that pretty boy, Prince Charming.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Aw, come on, Shrek. Is he really that good-looking?<br />
:'''Doris''': Are you kidding? He's gorgeous! He has a face that looks like it was carved by angels.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Oh, he sounds dreamy.<br />
:'''Shrek''': You know, shockingly, this isn't making me feel any better. ''[sighs]'' Look, guys, it's for the best. Mom and Dad approve, and Fiona gets the man she's always dreamed of. Everybody wins.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Except you. I don't get it, Shrek. You love Fiona.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Aye. And that's why I have to let her go.<br />
:'''Harold''': Um, excuse me. Is she here?<br />
:'''Doris''': She's, uh, in the back.<br />
:'''Harold''': Oh, hello again!<br />
----<br />
:'''Harold''': Fairy Godmother. Charming.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Ugh, you'd better have a good reason for dragging us down here, Harold.<br />
:'''Harold''': Well, I'm afraid Fiona isn't really... warming up to Prince Charming.<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Um, FYI, not my fault.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': No, no, of course it's not, dear.<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': I mean, how charming can I be when I have to pretend that I'm that dreadful ogre?<br />
:'''Harold''': No, no, it's nobody's fault. Perhaps it's best if we just call the whole thing off, okay?<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother and Prince Charming''': ''[in unison; shocked]'' What?!<br />
:'''Harold''': I mean, you can't force someone to fall in love!<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Oh, I beg to differ. I do it all the time. ''[pulls out the Love Potion 9 vial and hands it to Harold, and he takes it]'' Have Fiona drink this and she'll fall in love with the first man she kisses, which will be Charming.<br />
:'''Harold''': Umm, no.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': What did you say?<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[stutters]'' I...I...I can't. I...I won't do it.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Oh, yes, you will. If you remember, I helped you with your happily ever after. And I can '''''take''''' it away just as easily. ''[sticks her wand in his face]'' Is that what you want? Is it?<br />
:'''Harold''': No.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[puts down her wand]'' Good boy. Now, we have to go. I need to do Charming's hair before the ball. He's hopeless. Y'know he's all high in the front, he can never get to the back. You always need someone to do the back of your hair.<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Oh. Thank you, mother.<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[from outside the window; shocked]'' MOTHER?! ''[Fairy Godmother, Charming and Harold turn their heads fast to see Shrek, Donkey and Puss outside the window, hearing everything]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Um, Mary! A talking horse!<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[enraged]'' The ogre! ''[Shrek, Donkey, and Puss ride away from the Poison Apple; flies after them, telling the knights to get them; furious] '''STOP THEM! THIEVES! BANDITS! STOP THEM!'''''<br />
----<br />
:'''Magic Mirror''': We'll be right back for more ''Far, Far Away Ball'' after these messages.<br />
:'''Gingy''': I hate these ball shows. They bore me to tears! Flip over to Wheel of Torture!<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': I'm not flipping anywhere; sir, 'til I see Shrek and Fiona!<br />
----<br />
:'''Harold''': Darling? Ah, I thought I might find you here. How about a nice hot cup of tea before the ball?<br />
:'''Fiona''': I'm not going.<br />
:'''Harold''': But the whole kingdom's turned out to celebrate your marriage.<br />
:'''Fiona''': There's just one problem: That’s not my husband.''[sees Prince Charming]'' I mean, look at him!<br />
:'''Harold''': Yes, he is a bit different, but people change for the ones they love you’d be surprised how much I change for your mother change.<br />
:'''Fiona''': "Change"? ''[about Prince Charming]'' He's completely lost his mind.<br />
:'''Harold''': Honey, why not come down to the ball and give him another chance? I mean, you might find you like this new Shrek.<br />
:'''Fiona''': But it's the ''old'' one I fell in love with, dad!<br />
:'''Harold''': Uh, honey, that’s mine. Decaf. Otherwise, I'm up all night.<br />
:'''Fiona''': Thanks.<br />
----<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[screaming]'' I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE! YOU CAN'T LOCK US LIKE THIS! LET ME GO! WHAT ABOUT MY MIRANDA RIGHTS?! You're supposed to say, "You have the right to remain silent." '''NOBODY SAID I HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!'''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey, you ''have'' the right to remain silent. What you lack is the capacity.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[camera shows just him]'' I must hold on before I, too, go totally mad.<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': Shrek? Donkey?<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[looks up to see fairy tale creatures above him]'' Too late.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Gingy, Pinocchio, get us out of here!<br />
----<br />
:'''Shrek''': Quick, tell a lie!<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': What should I say?<br />
:'''Gingy''': Anything, but quick!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Say something crazy, like, "I'm wearing ladies underwear!"<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': I'm wearing ladies underwear.<br />
:''[But nothing happens; he is telling the truth]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Are you?<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': I most certainly am not! ''[his nose extends]''<br />
:'''Mini Donkey''': It looks like you most certainly am are!<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': I am not! ''[his nose extends more]''<br />
:'''Puss''': What kind?<br />
:'''Gingy''': It's a thong! ''[pulls at his pink thong and lets it slap back]''<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': Ow! They're briefs!<br />
:'''Gingy''': ''[takes the key and runs across Pinocchio's nose as it continues to extend with each denial]'' Are not!<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': Are too!<br />
:'''Gingy''' Are not!<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': Are too!<br />
:'''Gingy''': ''[reaches Shrek and uses the key to free Shrek, Donkey, and Puss]'' Alright, here we go. Hang tight.<br />
:''[Shrek lands his feet on the cell floor, followed by Puss.]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Wait, wait, wait! Ow! Ow! Hey, hey, hey! ''[lands on his back on the cell floor]'' Ow! ''[Shrek looks at the Far Far Away palace from outside the window]''<br />
:'''Blind Mouse''': ''[muffled; to Puss]'' Excuse me?!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[hears a muffled voice]'' What? ''[sees the mouse's tail sticking out from Puss' mouth; shocked]'' Puss!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[realizing he has Blind Mouse in his mouth]'' Hmm?<br />
:'''Blind Mouse''': Pardon me? Would you mind letting me go?<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[spits Blind Mouse out; sheepishly]'' Sorry, boss.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Quit messing around! We've got to stop that kiss!<br />
:'''Donkey''': I thought you were gonna let her go.<br />
:'''Shrek''': I was, but I can't let him do this to Fiona.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Boom! That's what I like to hear. Look who's finally coming around!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': It's impossible! We'll never get in. The castle is guarded and there is a moat and everything!<br />
:'''Gingy''': Well, folks, it looks like we're up chocolate creek without a popsicle stick. ''[pausing; Shrek looks at him]'' What?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Do you still know the muffin man?<br />
:'''Gingy''': Well, sure. He's down on Drury Lane. Why?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Because we're gonna need flour. Lots and lots of flour.<br />
:''[Shrek and Gingy soon arrive at the bakery, where Shrek knocks on the door. The muffin man opens the door.]<br />
:'''Muffin Man''': ''[surprised]'' Gingy!<br />
:'''Gingy''': Fire up the ovens, Muffin Man. We've got a big order to fill!<br />
:''[cut to the outside of the bakery, thunder clapping is seen, and deep laughter is heard.]<br />
:'''Gingy''': [[Frankenstein (1910 film)|IT'S ALIVE!]]<br />
----<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[puzzled]'' Is that glitter on your lips?<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Cherry flavored. Want a taste?<br />
----<br />
:''[Shrek and Donkey barged into the ball to rescue Fiona.]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Stop! ''[to Charming]'' Hey, ''you!'' Back away from ''my'' wife!<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[puzzled]'' Shrek? ''[Everyone gasps]''<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''You'' couldn't just go back to ''your'' swamp and ''leave'' well enough alone!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[to the three little pigs]'' NOW!<br />
----<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Harold! You were supposed to give her the potion!<br />
:'''Harold''': Well, I guess I gave her the wrong tea.<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': ''[his last words]'' Mommy! ''[grabs the wand from Puss and throws to Fairy Godmother]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': Mommy?<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[catches her wand and growls; last and final words before her defeat]'' I told you, ogres don't live ''HAPPILY EVER '''AFTER!'''''<br />
:'''Lillian''': Harold!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Shrek!<br />
:'''Harold''': ''NO!'' ''[a transformation into a frog zaps his armor. Floats way up, checking to make sure and raises her wand, then disappears, turning into an explosion burst bubbles, only leaving her wand and her broken glasses that fell on the ground]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': Oh, Dad! ''[cries]''<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': Is he...<br />
:'''Gingy''': Yep. ''[a frog ribbit is heard]'' He croaked.<br />
:'''Lillian''': Harold?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Dad?<br />
:'''Harold''': I'd hoped you'd never see me like this.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Yeah, and he gave you a hard time.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey!<br />
:'''Harold''': No, no, he's right. I'm sorry to both of you. I only wanted what was best for Fiona. But now I can see she finally has it. Shrek, Fiona, will you accept an old frog's apologies and my blessing?<br />
----<br />
:''[The clock strucks midnight]''<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Boss! The Happily Ever After potion!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Midnight! Fiona. Is this what you want? To be this way forever?<br />
:'''Fiona''': What?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Because if you kiss me now... we can stay like this.<br />
:'''Fiona''': You'd do that? For me?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Yes.<br />
:'''Fiona''': I want what any princess wants. To live happily ever after... ''[Shrek starts to lean a little closer to kiss her, but she puts her hand on his mouth]'' With the ogre I married. ''[Shrek smiles]''<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Whatever happens, I must not cry! You cannot make me cry! ''[starts to sob quietly]''<br />
:''[Shrek and Fiona hold there hands and the levitate, and Donkey too. They begin to glow blue, suddenly, the blue glow turns gold, Lillian, Harold and the Fairytale Creatures watches Shrek, Fiona, Donkey break the spell. Shrek, Fiona, Donkey goes down to the ground]''<br />
:'''Gingy''': Wow!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[back to his normal form]'' Hey, you still look like a noble steed to me.<br />
:''[Donkey smiles as well]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': Now...where we're we?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, I remembered.<br />
----<br />
:''[last lines; post credits]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[singing]'' [[w:All by Myself|All by myself, Don't wanna be all by myself... anymore]]<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[enters with two ladies]'' ''Amigo.'' We are off to the [[w:Kit Kat|Kit Kat]] club. Come on, join us.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Thanks, compadre. I'm... I'm not in the mood.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': We will cheer you up! Find you a nice burro! ''[a roar is heard]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[delighted]'' Hey, baby! ''[the Dragon from the [[Shrek|first film]] flies in the scene.]'' Hey, that's my girl! Yeah! All right! Baby, where you been? ''[Dragon cries]'' I’m sorry, too. I should've stayed. But Shrek had this thing he had to do. What? Say it one more time. What you talking about? Are you serious? ''[a baby dronkey flies in]''<br />
:'''Dronkey''': Papa!<br />
:'''Donkey''': '''''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!''''' ''[One breathes fire which Donkey avoids, the baby dronkeys fly in to hug him. Donkey laughs.]'' Look at our little mutant babies! ''[the Dragon blows a pink heart-shaped smoke, the scene cuts to black.]'' I gotta get a job.<br />
<br />
==''Far Far Away Idol''==<br />
:'''[[Simon Cowell]]''': You're on fire, Donkey.<br />
:'''Shrek''': No, you're really on fire!<br />
----<br />
:'''Simon Cowell''': Come on, get real, Pinocchio.<br />
:'''Shrek''': I find his performance quite wooden, actually. ''[laughs]'' Wooden.<br />
----<br />
:'''Simon Cowell''': ''[as Fiona plants a floor trap on Prince Charming while Shrek holds the red button]'' That's the artist formally known as Prince Charming.<br />
----<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[watching Gingy & Tinker Bell dance and form a tune to The Archies "Sugar"]'' They're so sweet together.<br />
:'''Simon Cowell''': I just knew you'd say that, Fiona. ''[groans]'' What's next, a singing donut?<br />
----<br />
:'''Simon Cowell''': The cat's got my tongue, and possibly my vote. ''[notices Shrek and Fiona are not in their seats]'' Ugh. Always breaking the rules!<br />
----<br />
:''[after voting]''<br />
:'''Simon Cowell''': And the next ''Far, Far Away Idol'' is...<br>''[selecting Pinocchio]'' No, you got to be joking.<br>''[selecting Doris]'' Sorry, that is complete rubbish.<br>''[selecting Big Bad Wolf]'' Impossible, I won't allow it!<br>''[selecting Prince Charming]'' Please, I don't think so!<br>''[selecting Three Blind Mice]'' Sorry, I'm afraid you chose wrong.<br>''[selecting Gingy]'' Ugh, now you're being ridiculous!<br>''[selecting Captain Hook]'' That is just wrong!<br>''[throws away the note]'' Nope! It's me, everyone! ''[sings "My Way" by Frank Sinatra as Shrek and his friends cheer]''<br />
:'''Magic Mirror''': Ladies and gentlemen, our time is up here; but we'll look forward to see you next time on ''Far, Far Away Idol''!<br />
<br />
==Cast==<br />
* '''[[w:Mike Myers|Mike Myers]]''' — [[w:Shrek (character)|Shrek]] (speaking voice)<br />
** '''[[w:Michael Gough|Michael Gough]]''' – [[w:Shrek (character)|Shrek]] (singing voice)<br />
* '''[[Eddie Murphy]]''' — [[w:Donkey (Shrek)|Donkey]]<br />
* '''[[Cameron Diaz]]''' — [[w:Princess Fiona|Princess Fiona]]<br />
* '''[[Julie Andrews]]''' — Queen Lillian<br />
* '''[[w:Antonio Banderas|Antonio Banderas]]''' — [[w:Puss in Boots (Shrek)|Puss in Boots]]<br />
* '''[[John Cleese]]''' — King Harold<br />
* '''[[Rupert Everett]]''' — Prince Charming<br />
* '''[[w:Jennifer Saunders|Jennifer Saunders]]''' — [[w:Fairy Godmother (Shrek)|The Fairy Godmother]]<br />
* '''[[Frank Welker]]''' — [[w:Dragon (Shrek)|Dragon]], Dronkeys<br />
* '''[[w:Aron Warner|Aron Warner]]''' — Big Bad Wolf<br />
* '''[[w:Cody Cameron|Cody Cameron]]''' — Pinocchio, Three Pigs<br />
* '''[[w:Conrad Vernon|Conrad Vernon]]''' — Gingy, Muffin Man, Mongo<br />
* '''[[w:Christopher Knights|Chris Knights]]''' — Blind Mouse<br />
* '''[[Larry King]]''' — Doris the Ugly Stepsister<br />
* '''[[w:Chris Miller (animator)|Chris Miller]]''' — Magic Mirror<br />
* '''[[Joan Rivers|Joan Rivers — Herself]]'''<br />
<br />
== See also ==<br />
* ''[[Shrek]]'', a 2001 animated film.<br />
* ''[[Shrek the Third|Shrek 3]]'', the 2007 third film.<br />
* ''[[Shrek Forever After|Shrek 4]]'', the 2010 fourth film.<br />
* ''[[Puss in Boots (2011 film)|Puss in Boots]]'', a 2011 spin-off animated film.<br />
* ''[[Puss in Boots: The Last Wish|Puss in Boots 2: The Last Wish]]'', a 2022 sequel<br />
<br />
==Taglines==<br />
* In Summer 2004, They're Back for More.<br />
* Once Upon Another Time...<br />
* Not So Far, Far Away.<br />
<br />
== External links ==<br />
{{wikipedia}}<br />
* {{IMDb title|id=0298148|title=Shrek 2}}<br />
<br />
{{Shrek}}<br />
<br />
{{Authority control}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:2004 computer-animated films]]<br />
[[Category:2004 American animated films]]<br />
[[Category:2000s American animated films]]<br />
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]<br />
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]<br />
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]<br />
[[Category:American sequel films]]<br />
[[Category:Shrek]]<br />
[[Category:Screenplays by Joe Stillman]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films about royalty]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films set in castles]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films set in the Middle Ages]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films about dragons]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films about cats]]<br />
[[Category:Films about princes]]<br />
[[Category:Animated buddy films]]<br />
[[Category:Fairy films]]<br />
[[Category:Films directed by Conrad Vernon]]<br />
[[Category:2000s English-language films]]<br />
[[Category:Films about potions]]<br />
[[Category:Films directed by Andrew Adamson]]<br />
[[Category:Films directed by Kelly Asbury]]</div>~2026-44937-18https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=The_Magic_School_Bus_(Season_1)&diff=3991630The Magic School Bus (Season 1)2026-08-19T17:04:10Z<p>~2026-44937-18: /* For Lunch [1.2] */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{italic title}}<br />
===''Gets Lost in Space'' [1.1]===<br />
:'''Ms. Frizzle''': As I always say class, you're out of this world.<br />
<br />
<hr width=50%/><br />
:'''Arnold''': No one is better than Ms. Frizzle.<br />
:'''Janet''': Oh, yeah? Prove it!<br />
:'''Arnold''': Stop The Bus!<br />
<br />
<hr width=50%/><br />
:'''Janet''': Arnold told me all about your field trips, Dorothy Ann.<br />
:'''Dorothy Ann''': W-what did he say?!<br />
:'''Janet''': That they were, and I quote, highly unusual.<br />
<br />
<hr width=50%/><br />
:'''Carlos''': Oh no, you don't! You just want to grab more stuff!<br />
:'''Janet''': ''[to Carlos]'' Hey I'm just trying to help! If you want to play "Let's find Ms. Frizzle without a map"...! <br />
:''[Janet, she storms off in a huff.]''<br />
:'''Janet''': '''FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! THAT IS FINE WITH ME!'''<br />
:''[Janet --after saying this-- takes a seat on to her planetary samples.]''<br />
:'''Janet''': ''[sighs and huffs]'' Hmph!<br />
:''[Takes a seat on her planetary samples.]''<br />
:'''Arnold''': Ms. Frizzle might be on Saturn. Couldn't she?<br />
:''[Wanda is in control of the bus and says...!]''<br />
:'''Wanda''': '''OK, ARNOLD! BUT IT IS YOUR DUTY TO KEEP YOUR CRAZY COUSIN UNDER CONTROL!'''<br />
:''[Wanda --from offscreen-- runs to Arnold, scoops him up, gets him bound on his cousin Janet's lap, buckles him down with the seatbelt on his cousin's lap, and makes him sit there through the entire rescue mission for finding Ms. Frizzle. Arnold --happily-- totally agrees with Wanda's idea. And she --Wanda-- makes Arnold prevent any dangerous actions with their rescue mission. Then she runs back to the driver's seat.]''<br />
<br />
<hr width=50%/><br />
:''[Arnold is still sitting on Janet's lap. Janet is bound, not only with a seatbelt. That is, but also with Arnold over Wanda's insistence to control her. Cut to Janet who is still hugging Arnold on her lap because Arnold is still bounding her down.]''<br />
:'''Janet''': ''[struts]'' You see, cuz?! Uranus does not really do a thing for me! So you can get off of me! Okay?!<br />
:'''Arnold''': Sorry, Janet! But I need to stay on top of the situation! <br />
<br />
<hr width=50%/><br />
:''[The bus has enough. And it drops out all of Janet's planetary samples. Janet then falls out from the bus's emergency exit door.]'' <br />
:'''Janet''': '''THERE IS NO WAY I AM GOING HOME WITHOUT MY STUFF!'''<br />
:''[Janet says she is not going home until she has her stuff. But Arnold, he says he is not going home until he has her. That is, as he --Arnold-- says...!]'' <br />
:'''Arnold''': Oh yeah? Well, there is no way I am going home without you! <br />
:'''Janet''': '''IT IS PROOF! NOBODY IS GOING TO BELEIVE ME WITHOUT IT!'''<br />
:'''Arnold''': I will believe you. They will believe you. <br />
:''[Well, Janet still refuses. She thinks she would be happy if she is on Pluto. That is, so she can be there with her planetary possessions. And Arnold, he forces the issue. That is, as he says...!]''<br />
:'''Arnold''': ''[angrily]'' '''JANET?! YOU WANT PROOF!? I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU PROOF! HERE IS PROOF OF WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO YOU IF YOU STAY HERE WITH YOUR STUFF!'''<br />
:'''Janet''': ''[pleads]'' '''ARNOLD?! PLEASE NO!'''<br />
:''[Despite Janet's pleads, Arnold --who shows Janet what happens if she was on Pluto with her stuff-- removes his helmet and it freezes him. After his head freezes, he turns into a block of ice. And a block of ice encases his head. This forces Janet to leave Pluto immediately. And Janet says...!]'' <br />
:'''Janet'''': ''[shocked]'' '''OH CUZ!'''<br />
:''[The scene cuts to the inside of the bus. Janet forgets about her possessions --her planetary samples-- and grabs her cousin Arnold. Then she and the rest of the class all immediately carry Arnold back into the bus. And finally, Janet, she says...!]''<br />
:'''Janet''': ''[as she and the class are carrying Arnold]'' '''BACK TO EARTH! AND STEP ON IT!'''<br />
:''[After Janet and the class rush Arnold and --successfully-- get him back on the bus, Ms. Frizzle steps on the engine. And the bus flies back to Earth.]''<br />
<br />
<hr width=50%/><br />
:''[In the Producer Says segment.]''<br />
:'''Plutonian Alien''': And another thing, if an astronaut does make it to Pluto, they better not take their helmet off.<br />
:''[As the Plutonian Alien --on the male producer's phone-- says this, the television shows stock footage. The stock footage shows the scene where Arnold took off his helmet and he turned into a block of ice. That is, to demonstrate to Janet what would happen if she is on Pluto.]''<br />
<br />
===''For Lunch'' [1.2]===<br />
:'''Phoebe''': How was I supposed to know that she'd have digestive scuba gear?<br />
<br />
<hr width=50%/><br />
:'''Carlos''': We have to find Wanda before she gets dried up into a raisin.<br />
:'''Ralphie''': A raisin? Cool.<br />
:'''Students''': Ralphie!<br />
<br />
<hr width=50%/><br />
:'''Arnold''': I know i could eat ralphie's lunch and think up a good excuse on a full stomach?<br />
<hr width=50%/><br />
:'''Arnold''': You mean I was the field trip?!<br />
<br />
===''Inside Ralphie'' [1.3]===<br />
:'''Phoebe''': At my old school we were only afraid of lunch meat!<br />
<br />
<hr width=50%/><br />
:'''Ralphie''': I'm seeing myself from the inside out.<br />
<br />
<hr width=50%/><br />
:'''Ms. Frizzle''': ''[to Ralphie]'' Oh, I think you better take it easy, Ralphie. Your body is telling you to...!<br />
:''[After Ms. Frizzle starts these first words in normal voice, she says the final word in a slow motion. That is, as she says...!]''<br />
:'''Ms. Frizzle''': ''[in a deep and slow motion voice]'' '''S-L-O-W DOWN'''. <br />
<hr width=50%/><br />
:'''Carlos''': It's a short cut. Get it? Short cut?<br />
:'''Students''': Carlos! Yuck!<br />
<br />
<hr width=50%/><br />
:'''Ralphie''': What's going on?<br />
:'''Ms. Frizzle''': We're here to get the inside story.<br />
<br />
===''Gets Eaten'' [1.4]===<br />
:'''Ralphie''': Food chain? A chain of food? I can get into that.<br />
:'''Keesha''': Me too. Phytoplankton, Zooplankton, Fish, and People too. We're all in a food chain, scum, this fish, and you.<br />
<br />
===''Hops Home'' [1.5]===<br />
<br />
:'''Arnold''': I knew I should have stayed home today!<br />
:''[Wanda --in response-- uses Arnold's catchphrase and says...!]''<br />
:'''Wanda''': '''OH YEAH?! WELL, I THINK BELLA SHOULD HAVE STAYED HOME TODAY!'''<br />
<br />
<hr width=50%/><br />
:'''Bella''': Bella!<br />
:'''Herman''': Herman!<br />
<br />
===''Meets the Rot Squad'' [1.6]===<br />
:''[After the bus transforms into a bessy bug]''<br />
:'''Arnold''': Wow! A bessy bus; now I've seen everything!<br />
<br />
===''All Dried Up'' [1.7]===<br />
:'''Arnold''': Field trip tip number 107: To avoid being eaten, become inedible. What does that mean?!<br />
:'''Ms Frizzle''': Class, Do I hear a suggestion to avoid digestion?<br />
<br />
<hr width=50%/><br />
:'''Phoebe''': I might have made a mistake about that lizard. And I might have made a mistake about that jackrabbit. And I might have even made a mistake about that tortoise, but there's one thing I know I'm not wrong about.<br />
:'''Arnold''': How much you wish ''you'd'' stayed home today?<br />
<br />
===''In the Haunted House'' [1.8]===<br />
:'''Arnold''': Aah! Yikes! Ah! All I've got to say is, If I meet anybody I can see through, I'm outta here.<br />
:'''Ms. Frizzle''': Oh, Whoa. No need to be hasty, Arnold.<br />
<br />
===''Gets Ready, Set, Dough'' [1.9]===<br />
:'''Phoebe''': At my old school we never got baked. except for the time the air conditioning went.<br />
:'''Arnold''': We're toast!<br />
:'''Dorothy Ann''': Well, Technically, No, But you've got the right idea.<br />
<br />
<hr width=50%/><br />
:''[The class is in the oven and are going to be baked.]''<br />
:'''Ralphie''': '''CARLOS...!? DO YOU MEAN TO SAY...!?'''<br />
:'''Carlos''': '''YES! WE'RE IN THE OVEN!'''<br />
<br />
===''Plays Ball'' [1.10]===<br />
:'''Dorothy Ann''': Listen, A force is just a push or a pull.<br />
:'''Carlos''': ''[to Dorothy Ann, who's talking about physics]'' If you're going to force us to listen to this...<br />
:'''Tim''': You're being kind of pushy, don't you think?<br />
:''[Carlos and Tim high five.]'':<br />
:'''Dorothy Ann''': No no, I'm talking about real forces. Picture this. There's this big red sled sitting in the snow. Not going anywhere, But if somebody comes along and gives it a push....<br />
<br />
===''Goes to Seed'' [1.11]===<br />
:''[Phoebe doesn't want to get off the bus of fear of Mr. Seedplot seeing them]''<br />
:'''Arnold''': Maybe you should have stayed home today, Phoebe.<br />
<br />
<hr width=50%/><br />
:'''Ms. Frizzle''': Nice propulsion, Arnold!<br />
:'''Arnold''': Thank you, Ms. Frizzle!<br />
<br />
===''Gets Ants in Its Pants'' [1.12]===<br />
:'''Keesha''': Keep shooting, Liz!<br />
<br />
===''Kicks Up a Storm'' [1.13]===<br />
:'''Ralphie''': I'm Weatherman! Of course I know what I'm doing. ''[whispers to himself]'' Now what am I doing?<br />
<br />
[[Category:Television show seasons]]</div>~2026-44937-18https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Shrek_2&diff=3991510Shrek 22026-08-19T14:04:05Z<p>~2026-44937-18: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{italic title}}<br />
[[File:Shrek 2.png|thumb|]]<br />
'''''[[w:Shrek 2|Shrek 2]]''''' is a [[w:2004 in film|2004]] [[w:animated film|animated film]] in which Princess Fiona's parents invite her and Shrek to dinner to celebrate her marriage, not knowing that the newlyweds are both ogres. It is a sequel to the [[Shrek|previous film]]. Produced by [[w:DreamWorks Animation|DreamWorks Animation]], streaming on [[w:Universal Pictures|Peacock]].<br />
:''Directed by [[w:Andrew Adamson|Andrew Adamson]], [[w:Kelly Asbury|Kelly Asbury]], and [[w:Conrad Vernon|Conrad Vernon]]. Written by [[w:Andrew Adamson|Andrew Adamson]], [[w:Joe Stillman|Joe Stillman]], [[w:J. David Stem|J. David Stem]], and [[w:David N. Weiss|David N. Weiss]].''<br />
{{center|'''Once Upon Another Time...'''([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}<br />
<br />
== Shrek ==<br />
* For five minutes. Could you not be yourself...'''FOR FIVE MINUTES?! '''''AHHHHH!!! ARE WE THERE YET?!?!'''''<br />
* Nice catch, Donkey. ''['''Puss''': Finally. Good use for your mouth.]''<br />
* A cute, button nose? Thick, wavy locks?? Taut, round buttocks?! I'm-I'm... ''['''Jill''': Gorgeous.]''<br />
*''[Banging the window, shouting for Fiona]'' Fiona! Fiona! Fiona! Fionaaaaa! ''['''Fairy Godmother''': Fiona? Fiona? Oh, shoot. I don't think they can us, pigeon.]''<br />
* But I love her. ''['''Fairy Godmother''': If you really love her, you'll let her go.]''<br />
* ''[from DVD menu, after pressing "New from DreamWorks Animation"]'' All right! Well, here we go!<br />
<br />
== Puss in Boots ==<br />
[[File:Puss in Boots, 2011, Australia-1.jpg|200px|thumb|Haha! Fear me if you dare!]]<br />
* Who dares enter my room?<br />
* You are told correct. But for this, I charge a great deal of money.<br />
* Hmm. You have engaged my valuable services. Your Majesty. Just tell me. Where i can find this ogre.<br />
* Ha-ha! Fear me if you dare!<br />
* Pray from mercy from Puss in Boots!<br />
* Finally! A good use for your mouth.<br />
* ''['''Guard''': Catnip.]'' That's, uh, not mine.<br />
* ''[from DVD menu, after pressing "Special Features"]'' Glad to be of assistance.<br />
<br />
== Fiona ==<br />
* Dear diary, Sleeping Beauty is having a slumber party tomorrow, but Dad says I can't go. He never lets me out after sunset. Dad says I'm going away for a while, must be like some finishing school or something. Mom says that when I'm old enough, my handsome Prince Charming will rescue me from my tower and bring me back to my family and, we'll all live happily ever after.<br />
* ''[from DVD menu, after pressing "Far Far Away Idol", burping]'' Excuse me!<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
:''[first lines]''<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': ''[his first words; narrating in his smoking, romantic, luscious, lustrous, regal, soothing and sexy voice]'' Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away, the King and Queen were blessed with a beautiful baby girl, and throughout the land, everyone was happy...until the sun went down, and they saw that their daughter was cursed with a frightful enchantment that took hold each and every night. Desperate, they sought the help of a fairy godmother who had them lock the young princess away in a tower, there to await the kiss of the handsome Prince Charming! ''[the scene shows a tall slightly muscular Prince Charming in a a cuirass and armor with a Red cape riding on his white horse]'' It was he who would chance the perilous journey through blistering cold and scorching desert, traveling for many days and nights, risking life and limb to reach the Dragon's Keep. ''[he rides through a forest, snowy mountains and barren desert for several days,arrives at the Dragon's Keep, an ominous castle surrounded by a moat of lava, but sees that the wooden bridge leading across the lava was destroyed by the Dragon. Uses his bow to shoot a roped arrow to a wooden post on the other side and uses it as a zipline. Looks up at a tower that rises above the rest of the castle, a light shining from its window. He enters the Dragon's Keep]'' For he was ''the'' bravest, ''[takes off his helmet showing his drop-dead gorgeous pretty slim face, bewitching blue eyes, high cheekbones, fair skin, pronounced smashing jawline and strong chin, thick exquisite stunning blonde eyebrows, elegant graceful slender pointy nose and his lips covered in cherry flavored glitter lip gloss forming an alluring bonny winsome ravishing pulchritudinous irresistible and heavenly smile]'' and most handsome... ''[unties his hairnet and shakes in slow motion his Just washed and clean with shampoo and conditioner, beautiful, majestic, glossy, gorgeous, shiny, silky, lustrous, glorious, flowing, marvelous, wavy, smooth, soft and ricocheting neck length blonde hair]'' ...In all the land. And it was destiny that his kiss ''[sprays perfume in his mouth to have a good breath]'' would break the dreaded curse. He alone would climb to the highest room of the tallest tower to the princess's chambers, cross the room to her sleeping silhouette, pull back the gossamer curtains to find her... ''[He continues through the abandoned castle and reaches the princess' tower. enters the princess' room and makes his way to her bed where a figure lays down, obscured by the bed's curtains, pulls the curtain and gasps; the figure is no princess--it's Big Bad Wolf.]'' <br />
:'''Big Bad Wolf''': What? <br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Princess... Fiona?<br />
:'''Big Bad Wolf''': No!<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Oh, thank heavens. Where is she?<br />
:'''Big Bad Wolf''': She's on her honeymoon. <br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Honeymoon? With whom?!<br />
<br />
----<br />
:'''Shrek''': It's so good to be home! Just you and me and...<br />
:'''Donkey''': Two can be as bad as one...<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Shrek! Fiona! Aren't you two a sight for sore eyes! Give us a hug, Shrek, you old love machine. And look at you, Mrs. Shrek. How 'bout a side of sugar for the steed?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey, what are you doing here?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, I was just taking care of your love nest for you!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, you mean like sorting the mail and watering the plants?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Yeah, and feeding the fish!<br />
:'''Shrek''': I don't have any fish.<br />
:'''Donkey''': You do now. I call that one Shrek and the other Fiona. That Shrek is a rascally devil. Get your... ''[mumbling to the "fish"]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, will you look at the time? I guess you'd better be going.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Don't you wanna tell me all about your trip? Or how about a game of Parcheesi?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Actually, Donkey, shouldn't you be getting home to Dragon?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, yeah, that. I don't know. She's been all moody and stuff lately. So I thought I'd move back in with you guys!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Well, you know, we're always happy to see you, Donkey. <br />
:'''Shrek''': But Fiona and I are married now. We need a little time, you know, to be together. Just with each other. Alone.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Say no more, say no more. You don't have to worry about a thing. I will always be here to make sure nobody bothers you.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Yes, roomie?<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''You're'' bothering ''me.''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, okay, all right. Cool. Me and Pinocchio were just gonna try to catch a tournament anyway, so maybe I'll see y'all on Sunday for a barbecue or something. ''[heads outside]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': He'll be fine. Now where were we? ''[realizes]'' Oh, I think I remember. ''[leans in to kiss Fiona, but suddenly sees Donkey in front of him]'' Donkey!<br />
:'''Donkey''': I know, I know! Alone! I'm going! I'm going! Hey, what do you want me to tell those other guys?<br />
<br />
----<br />
:'''Messenger''': ''[swats Reggie with the scroll]'' Enough, Reggie. ''[unfolds the scroll]'' "Dearest, Princess Fiona. You are hereby summoned to the Kingdom of Far, Far Away for a royal ball in celebration of your marriage at which time the King will bestow his royal blessing upon you ''[looks up to see Shrek]'' and your... uh... Prince Charming. Love, the King and Queen of Far, Far Away. ''[closes the scroll]'' aka, Mom and Dad."<br />
:'''Fiona''': Mom and Dad?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Prince Charming?<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[heads outside]'' Royal ball?! Can I come?<br />
:'''Shrek''': We're not going.<br />
:'''Fiona and Donkey''': ''[shocked]'' What?<br />
:'''Shrek''': I mean, don't you think they might be a bit... shocked to see you like this?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Well, they might be a bit surprised. But they're my parents, Shrek. They love me. And don't worry, they're gonna love you, too.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Yeah, right. Somehow, I don't think I'll be welcome at the country club.<br />
:'''Fiona''': Will you stop it? They're not like that.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Then how do you explain Sergeant Pompous and the Fancy Pants Club Band?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Oh, come on! You could at least give them a chance!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, to do what, sharpen their pitchforks?<br />
:'''Fiona''': No, they just want to give you their blessing.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, great. Now I need their blessing?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Well, if you wanna be a part of this family, yes!<br />
:'''Shrek''': And ''who'' says I wanna be a part of this family?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Um, ''you'' did, when you married ''me''!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Well, there's some fine print for you!<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[sighs exasperatedly]'' So, that's it? You won't come?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Trust me, it's a bad idea. We are not going, and ''that's final!''<br />
----<br />
:''[the onion carriage approaches slowly beside the sign "700 Miles to Far, Far Away" on it, beside a line up of trees and humongous mountains]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Shrek''': No.<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage surrounded by pouring rain and thunder on a stone-shaped mountain]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Not yet.<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage on a snowy mountain surrounded by a large line up of falling snow, the sign reads "200 Miles to Far, Far Away" also]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[sing-song]'' Okay, are we there yet?<br />
:'''Fiona''': No.<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage surrounded by leafless trees in the snow]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Shrek''': No!<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage next to stone-shaped walls made with baron rock]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are; we there, yet?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Yes.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Really?<br />
:'''Shrek''': No!<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage on a bridge next to a giant waterfall]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Fiona''': No!<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage passing the sign reading "100 Miles to Far, Far Away" in front of a line up of wooden oak trees]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Shrek''': No, we're not!<br />
:''[scene dissolves]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': ARE WE THERE YET?<br />
:'''Shrek/Fiona''': <big>'''NO!!!!'''</big><br />
:''[split second]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there y...<br />
:'''Shrek''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Hey, that's no...<br />
:'''Shrek''': That's not funny.<br />
:'''Donkey''': That's...<br />
:'''Shrek''': That's immature!<br />
----<br />
:''[Shrek gulps at the dinner table. To his sides sits Lillian and Fiona, and across from him sits Harold. Lillian looks around nervously and Harold angrily stares at Shrek. Shrek, unsure of how to eat the food on his plate properly, plops it in his mouth, and grins with the food still stuck in his teeth. Lillian cringes. Fiona tries to sip her drink courteously]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[lets out a loud belch that interrupts a conversation]'' Oh! Excuse me.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Better out than in, I always say. Eh, Fiona? ''[he and Fiona laughed]'' That's good enough... '' [they stopped laughing after neither Harold nor Lillian join in]'' I guess not.<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[from another room]'' What do you mean, "not on the list"? Don't tell me you don't know who I am. ''[bursts into the scene from the kitchen]'' Hey! What's happening, everybody? Thanks for waiting. You know I had the hardest time finding this place. ''[sits next to Harold]''<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[angrily]'' No, no! Bad Donkey! Bad, down!<br />
:'''Fiona''': No, no, no, Dad! Dad! It's all right! It's all right. He’s with us. He helped rescue me from the dragon.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Yup, that's me: the noble steed. ''[to the server]'' Hey, waiter! How ‘bout a bowl for the steed?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, boy. ''[slurps from the bowl]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': Um, Shrek?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Yeah? Oh, sorry! Great soup, Mrs Q. Mmm!<br />
:'''Fiona''': No, no, no. Darling. ''[demonstrates that the bowl he ate from is for washing his hands]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh. ''[chuckles]''<br />
:'''Lillian''': ''[as the rest does the same]'' So, Fiona, tell us about where you live?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Well, Shrek owns his own land. ''[to Shrek]'' Don't you, honey?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, yes! It's in an enchanted forest abundant in squirrels and...cute little duckies and--<br />
:'''Donkey''': What?! ''[laughs]'' I know you ain't talkin' about the swamp!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[clenches through his teeth]'' Donkey.<br />
:'''Harold''': An ogre from a swamp. Oh! How original. ''[Donkey dunks his mouth in his bowl and drinks]''<br />
:'''Lillian''': Well, I suppose that would be a fine place to raise the children...<br />
:''[Harold starts choking on his drink and Shrek accidentally swallows his spoon. They both cough, choke and splutter until Shrek spits out his spoon onto the table.]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[chuckles]'' It's a bit early to be thinking about that, isn't it?<br />
:'''Harold''': Indeed. I just started eating.<br />
:'''Lillian''': Harold!<br />
:'''Shrek''': What's that supposed to mean?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Dad, it's great, okay?<br />
:'''Harold''': Well, for his type, yes.<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[offended]'' ''My'' type?!<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[starts to leave, nervously]'' Uh, I gotta go to the bathroom.<br />
:'''The Chef''': ''[he and a host of servers enter the room with dinner, including a whole turkey, lobster, and a roast pig.]'' Dinner is-a served!<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[sits back down]'' Never mind, I can hold it. ''[The servers set the food on the table.]''<br />
:'''The Chef''': Bon appetit!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, Mexican food! My favorite!<br />
:'''Lillian''': Well, let's just not sit here with our tummies rumblin', everybody dig in.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Don't mind if I do, Lillian!<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[pulls the lobster towards himself before Donkey can take a bite out of it]'' So, I suppose any grandchildren I could expect from you would be--<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[pulls the turkey towards him]'' Ogres? ''Yes.''<br />
:'''Lillian''': Not that there's anything wrong with that. Right, Harold?<br />
:'''Harold''': Oh, no! No! Of course, not! That is, assuming you don't ''[ferociously and savagely stabs the knife into the lobster]'' ''EAT'' your own ''[ferociously and savagely slices open the lobster]'' ''YOUNG!''<br />
:'''Fiona''': Dad!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, no, we usually prefer the ones who've been... ''[ferociously and savagely rips off both drumsticks from the turkey]'' ''LOCKED'' away in a tower! ''[ferociously and savagely takes a bite out of one drumstick in his left hand]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[begging]'' Shrek, please!<br />
:'''Harold''': I only did that because I '''''love''''' her.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, aye! Daycare or dragon-guarded castle?! ''[ferociously and savagely pulls out a wish bone from the turkey]''<br />
:'''Harold''': You wouldn't understand! You're not her father!<br />
:''[Fiona sighs in exasperation and facepalms herself as Shrek and Harold continue to rip apart their food in ferocity and savagery, sending bits and pieces flying across the table.]''<br />
:'''Lillian''': It's so nice to have the family together for dinner. ''[Shrek and Harold stand up from their seats in rage and glare at each other, then ferociously and savagely tug over the roast pig in the middle of the table, accidentally sending it flying upwards]'' Harold!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Shrek!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Fiona?!<br />
:'''Harold''': Fiona!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Mom!<br />
:'''Lillian''': Harold!<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[happily]'' Donkey!<br />
:''[The roast pig lands on the table in front of Donkey and Lillian with a thud; Fiona angrily stands up and glares at Harold and Shrek, then runs out of the room, causing Harold to become enraged and Shrek to sigh.]''<br />
----<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[after popping the bubble, close encountering Fiona]'' My name is Fairy Godmother.<br />
:'''Fiona''': I have a fairy godmother!<br />
----<br />
:'''Shrek''': Fiona? Fiona?! ''[barges into the room along with Donkey. Fairy Godmother gasps at Shrek]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, you got a puppy?! All I got in my room was shampoo.<br />
:'''Fiona''': Oh, um, Fairy Godmother, furniture, I'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[confused]'' Your husband? What did you say? When did this happen?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Shrek is the one ''who'' rescued me.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[angrily]'' But that can't be right!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[wearily]'' Oh, great! More relatives!<br />
:'''Fiona''': She's just trying to help.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Good! She can help us pack. Get your coat, dear. We're leaving.<br />
:'''Fiona''': What?!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Leaving? I don't wanna leave.<br />
:'''Fiona''': When did you decide this?<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[as he is packing]'' Shortly after arrivin'.<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[remorsefully]'' Look, I'm sorry...<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': No, no, no, that's okay. I need to go anyway. But remember, dear, if you should ever need me, ''[whips out a "Happiness" business card]'' happiness is just a teardrop away.<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[snatches the "Happiness" card from Fairy Godmother; sarcastically]'' Thanks, but we've got ''all'' the happiness we need. Happy, happy, happy.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': So I see. ''[laughs in a not so good way]'' Let's go, Kyle. ''[Kyle whips the horses on the carriage and he and the Fairy Godmother leaves]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[sarcastically]'' Very nice, Shrek.<br />
:'''Shrek''': What? I told you that comin' here was a bad idea.<br />
:'''Fiona''': You could have at least tried to get along with my father.<br />
:'''Shrek''': You know, somehow, I don't think I was going to get daddy's blessing, even if I did want it.<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[as a bichon Frise starts barking]'' Well, do you think it might be nice if somebody asked me what I wanted?!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Sure. Do you want me to pack for you?!<br />
:'''Fiona''': You're unbelievable! You're behavin' like a... ''[hesitates and sighs]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Go on, say it!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Like an ''OGRE!''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Well, here's a newsflash for you, whether your parents like it or not, '''''I AM AN OGRE.''''' ''[the puppy barks even louder; Shrek furiously and roars at it, scares the puppy, who covers its face in fear]'' And guess what, Princess? That's '''''NOT''''' about to change.<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[sadly walks to the door]'' I've made changes for you, Shrek. Think about that. ''[leaves]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[deadpan]'' That's real smooth, Shrek. ''[imitating Shrek]'' ''I'M AN OGRE! UARGH!''<br />
:''[Shrek walks to the door and hears Fiona sob from outside of the bedroom and sighs in guilt, realizing what he has done to hurt her feelings. The camera pans northeast to Harold and Lillian's room.]''<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[after hearing Shrek and Fiona's argument]'' I knew this would happen!<br />
:'''Lillian''': You should. You started it.<br />
:'''Harold''': I can hardly believe that, Lillian. I mean, really, he's the ogre, not me.<br />
:'''Lillian''': I think, Harold, you're taking this a little too personally. ''This'' is Fiona's choice.<br />
:'''Harold''': Yes, but she was supposed to choose the prince ''we'' picked out for her! I mean, you expect me to give my blessings to this... this... thing?<br />
:'''Lillian''': Fiona does, and she'll never forgive you if you don't. I don't want to lose our daughter again, Harold. ''[Harold sighs]'' Oh, you act as if love is totally predictable. Don't you remember when we were young and, oh, we used to walk down by the lily pond, and they were in bloom.<br />
:'''Harold''': Our first kiss. IT'S NOT THE SAME! I don't think you realize that our daughter has married a MONSTER!<br />
:'''Lillian''': Oh, stop being such a drama king.<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[as Fairy Godmother's carriage approaches]'' Fine, fine! Pretend that there's nothing wrong! La-di-da, di-da, di-da! It's all wonderful! I like to know how could it get any worse!<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[opens the door]'' Hello, Harold.<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[scared]'' Aaah!<br />
:'''Lillian''': What happened?<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[hesitantly]'' Uh, nothing! Nothing, dear! Just the old crusade wound playing up a bit! ''[chuckles]'' I’ll just stretch it out here for a while. ''[closes the balcony door]''<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': You better get in. We need to talk.<br />
:'''Harold''': Actually, Fairy Godmother, just off to bed. ''[yawns]'' Already taken my pills, and they tend to make me a bit drowsy. So, um how about... we make this a quick visit. What? ''[bumps into two of her henchmen, who then get him in the carriage]'' Oh, hello.<br />
----<br />
:'''Harold''': So, what's new?<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[to Harold]'' You remember my son, Prince Charming? ''[shows him sitting next to her]''<br />
:'''Harold''': Charming! Is that you? My gosh, it's been years! When, uh... When did you get back?<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Oh, about five minutes ago, actually. ''[enraged]'' After I endured blistering winds, scorching desert, I climbed to the highest room of the tallest tower--<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[cuts him off]'' Tut, tut, tut. Mummy can handle this. ''[to King Harold, using the same tone he used earlier]'' He endures blistering winds and scorching desert! He climbs to the highest bloody room of the tallest bloody tower, and what does he find? Some gender-confused wolf telling him that ''his'' princess... '''''is already married!'''''<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[stammers]'' I mean, it wasn't my fault; He didn't get there in time.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': '''''STOP THE CAR!''' [the carriage screeches to a stop]'' Harold... ''[two of her henchmen crack their knuckles as the window rolls down]'' You forced me to do something I '''''really''''' don't want to do.<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[gasps]'' Where are we?<br />
:''[It is revealed that the carriage has pulled up at a fast-food restaurant drive-thru.]''<br />
:'''Fast-food Clerk''': ''[cheerfully]'' Well, hi there! Welcome to Friar's Fat Boy. May I take your order?<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': My diet is ruined! I hope you're happy. ''[to the fast-food clerk]'' Uh, okay. Two renaissance wraps, no mayo... chili rings...<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': I'll have the medieval meal.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': One medieval meal and, Harold. Curly fries?<br />
:'''Harold''': Oh no. No, thank you.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Sourdough soft taco, then? What do you want?<br />
:'''Harold''': No, really. I'm fine.<br />
:'''Fast-food Clerk''': ''[gives Fairy Godmother their meals]'' Your order, Fairy Godmother. ''[also gives her a free double-headed toy axe]'' And ''this'' comes with the medieval meal.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[gives the axe to Charming]'' Here you are, dear. ''[the carriage flies away]'' You see, we made a deal, Harold, and I assume you don't want me to go back on my part.<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[sighs deeply]'' Indeed not.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': So, Fiona and Charming ''will be together''.<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[doubtfully]'' Yes.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Oh, believe me, Harold. It's what's best, not only for your daughter.''[She takes a bite of her wrap taco and talks with her mouth full]'' But for your kingdom.<br />
:''[The carriage pulls up back at the castle and one of her henchmen shoves Harold out]''<br />
:'''Harold''': Well, what am ''I'' supposed to do about it?<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[tosses the double-headed toy axe into his hands]'' Use your imagination. ''[flies off]''<br />
----<br />
:'''Harold''': Uh, no. You must be mistaking me for someone else. Uh, excuse me. I'm looking for the Ugly Stepsister. ''[said Ugly Stepsister reveals herself]'' Ah. There you are. Right. You see, I need to have someone taken care of.<br />
:'''Ugly Stepsister''': Who's the guy?<br />
:'''Harold''': Um, he's not a guy, per se, um, he's ''[whispers]'' an ''ogre''.<br />
:''[The entire bar gasp at Harold saying "ogre"; the piano stops playing.]''<br />
:'''Ugly Stepsister''': Hey, buddy, let me clue you in. There's only one fellow who can handle a job like that, and, frankly... he don't like to be ''disturbed''.<br />
:'''Harold''': Where could I find him? ''[heads to the backroom and knocks, slowly opens the door]'' Uh, hello? ''[sees a pair of black boots beside the shining window]''<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[He opens his green eyes]'' Who dares enter my room?<br />
:'''Harold''': Sorry. I hope I'm not interrupting anything. But I was told that you are the one to handle an ogre... problem.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': You are told correct. ''[scoffs]'' But for this, I charge a great deal of money.<br />
:'''Harold''': Would this be enough? ''[places a bag of coins on the table]''<br />
:''[Puss in Boots stands up and raises his sword to slice off the string, causing gold coins to spill out of the sack.]''<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Hmm. You have engaged my valuable services. ''[grins]'' Your Majesty. Just tell me: Where I can find this ogre?<br />
----<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[to Shrek, after reading Fiona's diary]'' Oh, sorry; I hope I'm not interrupting anything.<br />
:'''Shrek''': No, no; I was, uh...reading a scary book.<br />
----<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[It is an orange cat wearing black hat and cape]'' Ha-ha. Fear me, if you dare. ''[hisses]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, look, a little cat.<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[sees the sword in Puss' paws]'' Look out, Shrek! He got a piece!<br />
:'''Shrek''': It's a cat, Donkey. Come here little, kitty, kitty, kitty. Come on. Kitty. ''[Puss screeches and attacks Shrek and he screams]'' <br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[gasps in shock]'' Hold on, Shrek!<br />
:'''Shrek''': GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! OH, GOD!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Shrek, hold still! ''[kicks the Shrek's bottom and moans]'' Did I miss?<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[painfully]'' No, you got him.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[after he attacks Shrek]'' Now ye ogre! Pray for mercy from... ''[slashes "P" on the tree]'' Puss... in Boots!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[groans]'' I'll kill that cat!<br />
:'''Donkey''': No!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Ah-ha-ha-ha! ''[drops the sword, then starts heaves for a second, confusing Shrek and Donkey; spits out the hairball and coughs]'' Phew. ''[chuckles]'' Hairball.<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[disgusted]'' Oh, that is nasty!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[picks up Puss by the back of the neck]'' What do you reckon we should do with him?<br />
:'''Donkey''': I say we take the sword and neuter him right here; Give him the Bob Barker treatment!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[frightened]'' Oh, no! Por favor! Please! I implore you! It was nothing personal, Señor! I was doing it only for my family. My mother, she is sick. And my father lives off the garbage! The king offered me much in gold and I have a litter of brothers--<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[covers Puss' mouth with his finger]'' Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Fiona's father paid you to do this?<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': The rich king? Sí. ''[Shrek drops him to the ground, who screeches]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[sighs]'' Well, so much for Dad's royal blessing.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, come on, Shrek, don't feel bad. Almost everybody that meets you wants to kill you.<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[sits on the rock]'' Gee, thanks. ''[looks down at the river reflection and sighs]'' Maybe Fiona would have been better off if I were some sort of Prince Charming.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Sí, that's what the king said. ''[Donkey glares angrily]'' Oh, uh...sorry. I thought that question was directed at me.<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[walks over to Shrek]'' Shrek, Fiona knows you'd do anything for her.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Well, it's not like I wouldn't change if I could. I just...I just wish I could make her happy. ''[pauses out; to Donkey]'' Hold the phone... ''[pulls out Fairy Godmother's business card]'' "Happiness." ''[flips it over]'' "A tear drop away." Donkey, think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, man, where do I begin? Well first there was the time that old farmer tried to sell me for some magic beans. I ain't never got over that. Then this fool went off and had a party and he had the guests trying to pin the tail on me. Then they got all drunk and start beatin' me with a stick going, "Piñata! Piñata!" What is a piñata, anyway?!<br />
:'''Shrek''': No, Donkey, I need you to cry!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Yeah, well don't go projecting on me! I know you're feelin' bad, but you gotta let your own- ''[Puss angrily stomps on his hoof]'' '''''OW!!!!!!!!!''''' ''[tearfully]'' You little hairy litter-licking sack of... ''[Donkey's tears shed and Shrek lets it drop onto the card, conjuring a bubble with Fairy Godmother in it]''<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''["Voice Message" Bubble forms after landing]'' What? Is it on? Is it on? ''[clears her throat]'' This is Fairy Godmother. I'm either away from my desk or with a client, but if you come by the office, we'll be glad to give you a personal appointment. Have a Happy Ever After! ''[the bubble pops]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Ohhh.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Are you up for a little quest, Donkey?<br />
:'''Donkey''': That's more like it! Shrek and Donkey, on another whirlwind adventure! ''[singing]'' Ain't no stoppin' us now! Whoo! We're on the move!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Stop, ogre! ''[bows to Shrek]'' I have misjudged you.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Join the club. We've got jackets.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': On my honor, I am obliged to accompany you until I have saved your life as you have spared me mine.<br />
:'''Donkey''': I'm sorry, the position of annoying talking animal has already been taken. Let's go, Shrek! ''[sees Shrek walking to Puss]'' Shrek? ''[slightly pauses; Shrek looks down at Puss, who gives him a cute, helpless look; Shrek smiles]'' Shrek!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Aw, come on, Donkey. Look at him; in his wee little boots. You know, how many cats can wear boots? Honestly. Aw, let's keep him!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Say what?! ''[Puss purrs and Shrek marvels at his cuteness; groans in frustration]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Aw, listen. He's purring!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, so now it's cute!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Aw, come on, Donkey. Lighten up.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Lighten up?! Oh, I should lighten up?! Look who's telling who to lighten up!<br />
----<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[close encountering a humongous factory with colored smoke]'' Oh, no; that's the old Keebler's place! Let's just back away slowly.<br />
----<br />
:''[Shrek, Donkey, and Puss arrive at the Fairy Godmother's potion factory]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Hi. I'm here to see...<br />
:'''Jerome''': The Fairy Godmother. I'm sorry, she is not in.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[from the gramophone intercom]'' Jerome! Coffee and a monte Christo, now.<br />
:'''Jerome''': ''[sighs]'' Yes, Fairy Godmother. Right away. ''[to Shrek]'' Look, she's not seeing any client today, okay?<br />
:'''Shrek''': That's okay, buddy. We're from the union.<br />
:'''Jerome''': The union?<br />
:'''Shrek''': We represent the workers in all magical industries both evil and benign.<br />
:'''Jerome''': Oh, oh, right.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Are you feeling at all degraded or oppressed?<br />
:'''Jerome''': Uh... ''[turns the gramophone intercom away from him]'' A little. W-We don't even have dental.<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[whispers to Donkey]'' They don't even have dental. ''[to Jerome]'' Okay, we're just gonna have a look around. Oh, by the way, I think it would better if the Fairy Godmother didn't know we were here. Know what I'm saying? Huh?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Hmm?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Huh?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Huh? Huh?! '''''HUH?!?!'''''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Stop it!<br />
:'''Jerome''': Of course. Go right in.<br />
----<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Ah, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh... "Princess"! ''Cinderella''. Here we are: "Lived happily ever after." Oh. ''[fake chuckles]'' No ogres. Let's see. ''Snow White''. "A handsome prince." Ah, no ogres. ''[[Sleeping Beauty (1959 film)|Sleeping Beauty]]''. Oh, no ogres. ''[[Hansel and Gretel (2002 film)|Hansel and Gretel]]''. No. ''[[Thumbelina (1994 film)|Thumbelina]]''. No! ''The Golden Bird'', ''[[The Little Mermaid (1989 film)|The Little Mermaid]]'', ''[[Pretty Woman]]''. No, no, no, no, NO! You see, ogres don't live happily ever after.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Alright, look, lady!<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Don't you point those dirty green sausages at me! ''[pushes his finger out of her face]''<br />
:'''Worker''': Your Monte Christo and coffee. Oh! Sorry.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Ah, that's okay. We were just leaving. Very sorry to have wasted your time, Miss Godmother.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Just... go.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Come on, guys. ''[leaves]''<br />
----<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, yeah, you're right. I'm sure nice BM is the perfect solution for marital problems!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Elfa Seltzer.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Uh-uh.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Hex Lax. <br />
:'''Shrek''': No. Try "handsome".<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Sorry, no handsome. ''[finds a blue potion bottle labeled; "Happily Ever After" in the restricted shelf]'' Hey, how about Happily Ever After?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Well, what does it do? <br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': It says "Beauty Divine".<br />
:'''Donkey''': In some creatures, donkeys are revered as the wisest of all creatures. Especially us talking ones.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey! Then we'll have to. We got company. <br />
:'''Donkey''': Will you get on with this.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Hurry! ''[Puss pulls the blue potion, but drops it]'' Nice catch, Donkey.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Finally! A good use for your mouth. ''[More colors of potions drop, the siren sounds, and the door begins to close.]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Come on!<br />
----<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': What?! Where is he, mum? ''[raises his sword due to the incident of Fairy Godmother's potion factory]'' I shall rend their heads from their shoulders! I will smite them where he stabs. He will rue the very day HE STOLE MY KINGDOM FROM ME!<br />
----<br />
:''[After escaping Fairy Godmother's potion factory]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[reading the potion bottle]'' "Happily Ever After Potion. Maximum strength. "For you and your true love. If one of you drinks this, you both will be fine. Happiness, comfort and beauty divine."<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[confused]'' You both will be fine?<br />
:'''Shrek''': I guess it means it'll affect Fiona too. ''[opens the potion bottle]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Hey, man, this don't feel right. My donkey senses are tingling all over. So why don't you just drop that jug o' voodoo, and let's get out of here.<br />
:'''Shrek''': It says, "beauty divine". How bad can it be? ''[sniffs the potion and sneezes]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': A-ha! See, You're allergic to that stuff. You'll have a reaction. And if you think that I'll be smearing Vapor Rub all over your chest, think again!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Boss, just in case there is something wrong with the potion... allow me to take the first sip. It would be an honor to lay my life on the line for you.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, no, no. I don't think so. If there'll be any animal testing, I'll do it. That’s the best friend's job. Now give me that bottle. ''[snatches the potion bottle from Shrek's hands with his mouth and starts drinking it, but Shrek snatches it back from Donkey]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': How do you feel?<br />
:'''Donkey''': I don't ''feel'' any different. Do I look any different?<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': You still look like an ass to me.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Maybe it doesn't work on donkeys. Well, here's to us, Fiona.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Shrek? You drink that, there's no going back.<br />
:'''Shrek''': I know.<br />
:'''Donkey''': No more wallowing in the mud?<br />
:'''Shrek''': I know.<br />
:'''Donkey''': No more itchy butt crack?<br />
:'''Shrek''': I know!<br />
:'''Donkey''': But you love being an ogre!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''I know!'' ''[sighs]'' But I love Fiona more. ''[starts chugging the potion]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Shrek, no! Wait! ''[Shrek swallows the potion, then feels his stomach gurglin'. Donkey and Puss hides behind the rock, then Shrek farts]'' Got to be... Shrek, I think you grabbed the "Farty Ever After" potion.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Maybe it's a dud.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Or maybe Fiona and I were never meant to be.<br />
:''[Dark storm clouds appear above Shrek, Donkey and Puss.]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Uh-oh. What did I tell you? I feel something coming on. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die! ''[rain starts pouring, soaking the trio and getting them wet]'' Oh, sweet sister, mother of mercy! '''I'm melting!''' '''''I'M MELTING!!'''''<br />
:'''Shrek''': It's just the rain, Donkey.<br />
:''[Donkey chuckles as they head to a barn for some shelter. The blue ooze from Shrek's sneeze reaction on the mushroom transforms into a flower rose.]''<br />
----<br />
:''[After Shrek, Donkey and Puss arrived at the barn for shelter for the night]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Shrek, don't worry. Things seem bad because it's dark and rainy and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you. ''[Puss hisses at him]'' It'll be better in the morning. You'll see. ''[sings, then gets dizzy]'' The sun'll come out... Tomorrow... Bet your bottom...<br />
:'''Shrek''': Bet my bottom?<br />
:'''Donkey''': I'm comin', Elizabeth! ''[faints]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey? A-Are you all right?<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Hey, boss. Let's shave him.<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[gets dizzy]'' D-Donkey...? ''[groans and faints and land on Puss’ tail as he yowls off-screen]''<br />
----<br />
:''[Later this morning, the Jill and maidens woke up]''<br />
:'''Jill''': Good morning, sleepyhead.<br />
:'''Maidans''': Good morning! We lover your kitty.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, my head.<br />
:'''Jill''': Here. I fetched you a pail of water.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Thanks. ''[sees his human hands, picks up the wooden bucket; sees a human version of himself, drops the bucket and spills water]'' Oh. ''[checks his skin to make sure]'' A cute, button nose? Thick, wavy locks? Thick, round buttocks? I must be...<br />
----<br />
:'''Knight''': Halt!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Tell Princess Fiona her husband Sir Shrek is here to see you!<br />
:''[A white bird flies past one of the windows of the Far, Far Away Castle and goes to Fiona's room. Fiona looks at the reflection, realizing she is a human again, and screams.]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Fiona!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Shrek?<br />
----<br />
:''[the Fairy Godmother raises her wand and doors close, the Chest of Drawers blocks Shrek's way]''<br />
:'''Talking Chest Drawer''': You wanna dance, pretty boy?<br />
----<br />
:'''Doris''': There you go, boys.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Just leave the bottle, Doris.<br />
:'''Doris''': Hey, why the long face?<br />
:'''Shrek''': It was all just a stupid mistake. I never should have rescued her from that tower in the first place.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': I hate Mondays.<br />
:'''Donkey''': I can't believe you're just gonna walk away from the best thing that happened to you.<br />
:'''Shrek''': What choice do I have? She loves that pretty boy, Prince Charming.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Aw, come on, Shrek. Is he really that good-looking?<br />
:'''Doris''': Are you kidding? He's gorgeous! He has a face that looks like it was carved by angels.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Oh, he sounds dreamy.<br />
:'''Shrek''': You know, shockingly, this isn't making me feel any better. ''[sighs]'' Look, guys, it's for the best. Mom and Dad approve, and Fiona gets the man she's always dreamed of. Everybody wins.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Except you. I don't get it, Shrek. You love Fiona.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Aye. And that's why I have to let her go.<br />
:'''Harold''': Um, excuse me. Is she here?<br />
:'''Doris''': She's, uh, in the back.<br />
:'''Harold''': Oh, hello again!<br />
----<br />
:'''Harold''': Fairy Godmother. Charming.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Ugh, you'd better have a good reason for dragging us down here, Harold.<br />
:'''Harold''': Well, I'm afraid Fiona isn't really... warming up to Prince Charming.<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Um, FYI, not my fault.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': No, no, of course it's not, dear.<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': I mean, how charming can I be when I have to pretend that I'm that dreadful ogre?<br />
:'''Harold''': No, no, it's nobody's fault. Perhaps it's best if we just call the whole thing off, okay?<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother and Prince Charming''': ''[in unison; shocked]'' What?!<br />
:'''Harold''': I mean, you can't force someone to fall in love!<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Oh, I beg to differ. I do it all the time. ''[pulls out the Love Potion 9 vial and hands it to Harold, and he takes it]'' Have Fiona drink this and she'll fall in love with the first man she kisses, which will be Charming.<br />
:'''Harold''': Umm, no.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': What did you say?<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[stutters]'' I...I...I can't. I...I won't do it.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Oh, yes, you will. If you remember, I helped you with your happily ever after. And I can '''''take''''' it away just as easily. ''[sticks her wand in his face]'' Is that what you want? Is it?<br />
:'''Harold''': No.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[puts down her wand]'' Good boy. Now, we have to go. I need to do Charming's hair before the ball. He's hopeless. Y'know he's all high in the front, he can never get to the back. You always need someone to do the back of your hair.<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Oh. Thank you, mother.<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[from outside the window; shocked]'' MOTHER?! ''[Fairy Godmother, Charming and Harold turn their heads fast to see Shrek, Donkey and Puss outside the window, hearing everything]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Um, Mary! A talking horse!<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[enraged]'' The ogre! ''[Shrek, Donkey, and Puss ride away from the Poison Apple; flies after them, telling the knights to get them; furious] '''STOP THEM! THIEVES! BANDITS! STOP THEM!'''''<br />
----<br />
:'''Magic Mirror''': We'll be right back for more ''Far, Far Away Ball'' after these messages.<br />
:'''Gingy''': I hate these ball shows. They bore me to tears! Flip over to Wheel of Torture!<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': I'm not flipping anywhere; sir, 'til I see Shrek and Fiona!<br />
----<br />
:'''Harold''': Darling? Ah, I thought I might find you here. How about a nice hot cup of tea before the ball?<br />
:'''Fiona''': I'm not going.<br />
:'''Harold''': But the whole kingdom's turned out to celebrate your marriage.<br />
:'''Fiona''': There's just one problem: That’s not my husband.''[sees Prince Charming]'' I mean, look at him!<br />
:'''Harold''': Yes, he is a bit different, but people change for the ones they love you’d be surprised how much I change for your mother change.<br />
:'''Fiona''': "Change"? ''[about Prince Charming]'' He's completely lost his mind.<br />
:'''Harold''': Honey, why not come down to the ball and give him another chance? I mean, you might find you like this new Shrek.<br />
:'''Fiona''': But it's the ''old'' one I fell in love with, dad!<br />
:'''Harold''': Uh, honey, that’s mine. Decaf. Otherwise, I'm up all night.<br />
:'''Fiona''': Thanks.<br />
----<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[screaming]'' I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE! YOU CAN'T LOCK US LIKE THIS! LET ME GO! WHAT ABOUT MY MIRANDA RIGHTS?! You're supposed to say, "You have the right to remain silent." '''NOBODY SAID I HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!'''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey, you ''have'' the right to remain silent. What you lack is the capacity.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[camera shows just him]'' I must hold on before I, too, go totally mad.<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': Shrek? Donkey?<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[looks up to see fairy tale creatures above him]'' Too late.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Gingy, Pinocchio, get us out of here!<br />
----<br />
:'''Shrek''': Quick, tell a lie!<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': What should I say?<br />
:'''Gingy''': Anything, but quick!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Say something crazy, like, "I'm wearing ladies underwear!"<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': I'm wearing ladies underwear.<br />
:''[But nothing happens; he is telling the truth]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Are you?<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': I most certainly am not! ''[his nose extends]''<br />
:'''Mini Donkey''': It looks like you most certainly am are!<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': I am not! ''[his nose extends more]''<br />
:'''Puss''': What kind?<br />
:'''Gingy''': It's a thong! ''[pulls at his pink thong and lets it slap back]''<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': Ow! They're briefs!<br />
:'''Gingy''': ''[takes the key and runs across Pinocchio's nose as it continues to extend with each denial]'' Are not!<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': Are too!<br />
:'''Gingy''' Are not!<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': Are too!<br />
:'''Gingy''': ''[reaches Shrek and uses the key to free Shrek, Donkey, and Puss]'' Alright, here we go. Hang tight.<br />
:''[Shrek lands his feet on the cell floor, followed by Puss.]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Wait, wait, wait! Ow! Ow! Hey, hey, hey! ''[lands on his back on the cell floor]'' Ow! ''[Shrek looks at the Far Far Away palace from outside the window]''<br />
:'''Blind Mouse''': ''[muffled; to Puss]'' Excuse me?!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[hears a muffled voice]'' What? ''[sees the mouse's tail sticking out from Puss' mouth; shocked]'' Puss!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[realizing he has Blind Mouse in his mouth]'' Hmm?<br />
:'''Blind Mouse''': Pardon me? Would you mind letting me go?<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[spits Blind Mouse out; sheepishly]'' Sorry, boss.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Quit messing around! We've got to stop that kiss!<br />
:'''Donkey''': I thought you were gonna let her go.<br />
:'''Shrek''': I was, but I can't let him do this to Fiona.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Boom! That's what I like to hear. Look who's finally coming around!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': It's impossible! We'll never get in. The castle is guarded and there is a moat and everything!<br />
:'''Gingy''': Well, folks, it looks like we're up chocolate creek without a popsicle stick. ''[pausing; Shrek looks at him]'' What?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Do you still know the muffin man?<br />
:'''Gingy''': Well, sure. He's down on Drury Lane. Why?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Because we're gonna need flour. Lots and lots of flour.<br />
:''[Shrek and Gingy soon arrive at the bakery, where Shrek knocks on the door. The muffin man opens the door.]<br />
:'''Muffin Man''': ''[surprised]'' Gingy!<br />
:'''Gingy''': Fire up the ovens, Muffin Man. We've got a big order to fill!<br />
:''[cut to the outside of the bakery, thunder clapping is seen, and deep laughter is heard.]<br />
:'''Gingy''': [[Frankenstein (1910 film)|IT'S ALIVE!]]<br />
----<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[puzzled]'' Is that glitter on your lips?<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Cherry flavored. Want a taste?<br />
----<br />
:''[Shrek and Donkey barged into the ball to rescue Fiona.]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Stop! ''[to Charming]'' Hey, ''you!'' Back away from ''my'' wife!<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[puzzled]'' Shrek? ''[Everyone gasps]''<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''You'' couldn't just go back to ''your'' swamp and ''leave'' well enough alone!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[to the three little pigs]'' NOW!<br />
----<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Harold! You were supposed to give her the potion!<br />
:'''Harold''': Well, I guess I gave her the wrong tea.<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': ''[his last words]'' Mommy! ''[grabs the wand from Puss and throws to Fairy Godmother]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': Mommy?<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[catches her wand and growls; last and final words before her defeat]'' I told you, ogres don't live ''HAPPILY EVER '''AFTER!'''''<br />
:'''Lillian''': Harold!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Shrek!<br />
:'''Harold''': ''NO!'' ''[a transformation into a frog zaps his armor. Floats way up, checking to make sure and raises her wand, then disappears, turning into an explosion burst bubbles, only leaving her wand and her broken glasses that fell on the ground]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': Oh, Dad! ''[cries]''<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': Is he...<br />
:'''Gingy''': Yep. ''[a frog ribbit is heard]'' He croaked.<br />
:'''Lillian''': Harold?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Dad?<br />
:'''Harold''': I'd hoped you'd never see me like this.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Yeah, and he gave you a hard time.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey!<br />
:'''Harold''': No, no, he's right. I'm sorry to both of you. I only wanted what was best for Fiona. But now I can see she finally has it. Shrek, Fiona, will you accept an old frog's apologies and my blessing?<br />
----<br />
:''[The clock strucks midnight]''<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Boss! The Happily Ever After potion!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Midnight! Fiona. Is this what you want? To be this way forever?<br />
:'''Fiona''': What?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Because if you kiss me now... we can stay like this.<br />
:'''Fiona''': You'd do that? For me?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Yes.<br />
:'''Fiona''': I want what any princess wants. To live happily ever after... ''[Shrek starts to lean a little closer to kiss her, but she puts her hand on his mouth]'' With the ogre I married. ''[Shrek smiles]''<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Whatever happens, I must not cry! You cannot make me cry! ''[starts to sob quietly]''<br />
:''[Shrek and Fiona hold there hands and the levitate, and Donkey too. They begin to glow blue, suddenly, the blue glow turns gold, Lillian, Harold and the Fairytale Creatures watches Shrek, Fiona, Donkey break the spell. Shrek, Fiona, Donkey goes down to the ground]''<br />
:'''Gingy''': Wow!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[back to his normal form]'' Hey, you still look like a noble steed to me.<br />
:''[Donkey smiles as well]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': Now...where we're we?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, I remembered.<br />
----<br />
:''[last lines; post credits]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[singing]'' [[w:All by Myself|All by myself, Don't wanna be all by myself... anymore]]<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[enters with two ladies]'' ''Amigo.'' We are off to the [[w:Kit Kat|Kit Kat]] club. Come on, join us.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Thanks, compadre. I'm... I'm not in the mood.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': We will cheer you up! Find you a nice burro! ''[a roar is heard]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[delighted]'' Hey, baby! ''[the Dragon from the [[Shrek|first film]] flies in the scene.]'' Hey, that's my girl! Yeah! All right! Baby, where you been? ''[Dragon cries]'' I’m sorry, too. I should've stayed. But Shrek had this thing he had to do. What? Say it one more time. What you talking about? Are you serious? ''[a baby dronkey flies in]''<br />
:'''Dronkey''': Papa!<br />
:'''Donkey''': '''''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!''''' ''[One breathes fire which Donkey avoids, the baby dronkeys fly in to hug him. Donkey laughs.]'' Look at our little mutant babies! ''[the Dragon blows a pink heart-shaped smoke, the scene cuts to black.]'' I gotta get a job.<br />
<br />
==''Far Far Away Idol''==<br />
:'''[[Simon Cowell]]''': You're on fire, Donkey.<br />
:'''Shrek''': No, you're really on fire!<br />
----<br />
:'''Simon Cowell''': Come on, get real, Pinocchio.<br />
:'''Shrek''': I find his performance quite wooden, actually. ''[laughs]'' Wooden.<br />
----<br />
:'''Simon Cowell''': ''[as Fiona plants a floor trap on Prince Charming while Shrek holds the red button]'' That's the artist formally known as Prince Charming.<br />
----<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[watching Gingy & Tinker Bell dance and form a tune to The Archies "Sugar"]'' They're so sweet together.<br />
:'''Simon Cowell''': I just knew you'd say that, Fiona. ''[groans]'' What's next, a singing donut?<br />
----<br />
:'''Simon Cowell''': The cat's got my tongue, and possibly my vote. ''[notices Shrek and Fiona are not in their seats]'' Ugh. Always breaking the rules!<br />
----<br />
:''[after voting]''<br />
:'''Simon Cowell''': And the next ''Far, Far Away Idol'' is...<br>''[selecting Pinocchio]'' No, you got to be joking.<br>''[selecting Doris]'' Sorry, that is complete rubbish.<br>''[selecting Big Bad Wolf]'' Impossible, I won't allow it!<br>''[selecting Prince Charming]'' Please, I don't think so!<br>''[selecting Three Blind Mice]'' Sorry, I'm afraid you chose wrong.<br>''[selecting Gingy]'' Ugh, now you're being ridiculous!<br>''[selecting Captain Hook]'' That is just wrong!<br>''[throws away the note]'' Nope! It's me, everyone! ''[sings "My Way" by Frank Sinatra as Shrek and his friends cheer]''<br />
:'''Magic Mirror''': Ladies and gentlemen, our time is up here; but we'll look forward to see you next time on ''Far, Far Away Idol''!<br />
<br />
==Cast==<br />
* '''[[w:Mike Myers|Mike Myers]]''' — [[w:Shrek (character)|Shrek]] (speaking voice)<br />
** '''[[w:Michael Gough|Michael Gough]]''' – [[w:Shrek (character)|Shrek]] (singing voice)<br />
* '''[[Eddie Murphy]]''' — [[w:Donkey (Shrek)|Donkey]]<br />
* '''[[Cameron Diaz]]''' — [[w:Princess Fiona|Princess Fiona]]<br />
* '''[[Julie Andrews]]''' — Queen Lillian<br />
* '''[[w:Antonio Banderas|Antonio Banderas]]''' — [[w:Puss in Boots (Shrek)|Puss in Boots]]<br />
* '''[[John Cleese]]''' — King Harold<br />
* '''[[Rupert Everett]]''' — Prince Charming<br />
* '''[[w:Jennifer Saunders|Jennifer Saunders]]''' — [[w:Fairy Godmother (Shrek)|The Fairy Godmother]]<br />
* '''[[Frank Welker]]''' — [[w:Dragon (Shrek)|Dragon]], Dronkeys<br />
* '''[[w:Aron Warner|Aron Warner]]''' — Big Bad Wolf<br />
* '''[[w:Cody Cameron|Cody Cameron]]''' — Pinocchio, Three Pigs<br />
* '''[[w:Conrad Vernon|Conrad Vernon]]''' — Gingy, Muffin Man, Mongo<br />
* '''[[w:Christopher Knights|Chris Knights]]''' — Blind Mouse<br />
* '''[[Larry King]]''' — Doris the Ugly Stepsister<br />
* '''[[w:Chris Miller (animator)|Chris Miller]]''' — Magic Mirror<br />
* '''[[Joan Rivers|Joan Rivers — Herself]]'''<br />
<br />
== See also ==<br />
* ''[[Shrek]]'', a 2001 animated film.<br />
* ''[[Shrek the Third|Shrek 3]]'', the 2007 third film.<br />
* ''[[Shrek Forever After|Shrek 4]]'', the 2010 fourth film.<br />
* ''[[Puss in Boots (2011 film)|Puss in Boots]]'', a 2011 spin-off animated film.<br />
* ''[[Puss in Boots: The Last Wish|Puss in Boots 2: The Last Wish]]'', a 2022 sequel<br />
<br />
==Taglines==<br />
* In Summer 2004, They're Back for More.<br />
* Once Upon Another Time...<br />
* Not So Far, Far Away.<br />
<br />
== External links ==<br />
{{wikipedia}}<br />
* {{IMDb title|id=0298148|title=Shrek 2}}<br />
<br />
{{Shrek}}<br />
<br />
{{Authority control}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:2004 computer-animated films]]<br />
[[Category:2004 American animated films]]<br />
[[Category:2000s American animated films]]<br />
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]<br />
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]<br />
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]<br />
[[Category:American sequel films]]<br />
[[Category:Shrek]]<br />
[[Category:Screenplays by Joe Stillman]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films about royalty]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films set in castles]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films set in the Middle Ages]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films about dragons]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films about cats]]<br />
[[Category:Films about princes]]<br />
[[Category:Animated buddy films]]<br />
[[Category:Fairy films]]<br />
[[Category:Films directed by Conrad Vernon]]<br />
[[Category:2000s English-language films]]<br />
[[Category:Films about potions]]<br />
[[Category:Films directed by Andrew Adamson]]<br />
[[Category:Films directed by Kelly Asbury]]</div>~2026-44937-18https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=The_Berenstain_Bears_(2003)_(season_2)&diff=3990938The Berenstain Bears (2003) (season 2)2026-08-18T21:35:26Z<p>~2026-44937-18: /* House of Mirrors / Too Much Pressure [2.6] */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{italic title}}<br />
----<br />
:'''Seasons''': [[The Berenstain Bears (2003) (season 1)|1]] [[The Berenstain Bears (2003) (season 2)|2]] [[The Berenstain Bears (2003) (season 3)|3]] | [[The Berenstain Bears (2003 TV series)|Main]]<br />
----<br />
<br />
The following is a list of quotes from the second season of ''[[The Berenstain Bears (2003 TV series)|The Berenstain Bears]]''.<br />
<br />
==Season 2==<br />
===''The Excuse Note / On The Job'' [2.1]===<br />
:''[while Teacher Jane and her class are doing deep knee bends in gym]''<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': I'm getting tired already.<br />
:'''Lizzie''': I was getting tired just...thinking about it.<br />
:'''Millie''': Why do we have to do so many?<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Lizzie''': ''[during gym class]'' Why do we have to walk like [[w:duck|ducks]]?<br />
:'''Millie''': Beats me.<br />
:''[The whole class does the duck walk]''<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': I'll bet nobody makes ducks walk like bears.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Sister Bear''': Why is exercising in gym so important anyway?<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': Exercise makes your muscles stronger. And stronger muscles can make you a better soccer player. That's what I want to be.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Lizzie''': ''[looks at Sister's excuse note]'' Now who's the lucky one?<br />
:''[She passes the note back to Sister who then passes it to Millie]''<br />
:'''Millie''': ''[looks at the note]'' Gee, when is it going to be my turn to sprain something?<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Lizzie''': Remember the time I fell out of a [[w:tree|tree]] and sprained my wrist, and my mom wrote me a note to excuse me from gym?<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': I remember that. How come you get all the luck?<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Teacher Bob''': I found all the jobs you wrote about very interesting, Brother.<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': I had a hard time picking just one.<br />
:'''Teacher Bob''': ''[reading Brother's report aloud]'' "There are many wonderful jobs and opportunities to choose from, and there's plenty of time for me to decide what I'd like to be when I grow up." Very thoughtful words indeed, Brother Bear.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Cousin Freddy''': Do you have any ideas on what you want to be when you grow up?<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': When I was younger, I wanted to be Superbear.<br />
:'''Cousin Freddy''': ''[chuckles]'' I don't think that counts.<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': You're probably right.<br />
<br />
===''Too Small For The Team / The Jump Rope Contest'' [2.2]===<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': If I'm not big enough for the team, how come I'm big enough to be team manager?<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Sister Bear''': I'm fast, I'm tricky, and I kick really hard.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Sister Bear''': Maybe you're just jealous, Lizzie Bruin, because I'm the best jump roper in Bear Country and you're not.<br />
:'''Lizzie''': I am not Jealous.<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': Are too jealous.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Sister Bear''': I just want to say, may the best bear win.<br />
<br />
===''The Bad Habit / The Prize Pumpkin'' [2.3]===<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': Gee, I wish I had a bad habit to break so I can earn some extra money.<br />
:'''Papa Bear''': ''[laughing]'' Oh, go on.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Papa is still fussing about his pumpkin "The Giant" being in 1st place. He mutters about his pumpkin rival and opponent Farmer Ben who has won the pumpkin contest 10 or more years already before Papa even entered. That is, as he says...!]''<br />
:'''Papa Bear''': '''MY PUMPKIN --THE GIANT-- IT CAN BEAT THE PANTS OFF FROM ANY OF FARMER BEN'S PUMPKINS! I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE PUMPKIN CONTEST!'''<br />
:''[But Mama is concerned about Papa's "fixation" with first place. That is, as she says...!]'' <br />
:'''Mama Bear''': Thanksgiving is about giving thanks and not about beating the pants off someone, especially with your best friend. <br />
:'''Papa Bear''': ''[half chuckles]'' '''HA!'''<br />
:''[After Papa Bear says this --with a half chuckle-- he next says...!]''<br />
:'''Papa Bear''': ''[roars in frustration]'' '''THERE ARE NO FRIENDS IN PUMPKIN GROWING CONTESTS!'''<br />
:''[Indeed, for 10 years in a row, Farmer Ben has gotten first place with his pumpkin while Mrs. Mc Grizz --for 10 years-- has gotten second place. And Papa --with the Bear family's pumpkin "The Giant"-- wants to beat his rivals --Farmer Ben and Mrs. McGrizz-- this year. That is, not knowing that "The Giant" is going to go in 3rd place every year. But --despite that-- Papa still hopes his pumpkin --The Giant-- is going to be first or second place this year. And Papa still fusses about it. He is too obsessed about the prize.]'' <br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Papa Bear''': You know, you can have your colorful autumn leaves and your golden sunsets. What I like best about fall is a big spread of orange pumpkins.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Sister Bear''': What is Papa doing?<br />
:''[Papa --who is still obsessing about 1st place in pumpkin growing contests-- is talking to "The Giant".]'' <br />
:'''Papa Bear''': ''[to the Giant]'' Come on, buddy. Keep growing. You can do it. Think big.<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': ''[laughs]'' Papa just read a book that says you can make plants grow faster by talking to them.<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': Hmm. Was it a comic book?<br />
:''[Brother and Sister started to laugh]''<br />
:'''Papa Bear''': I heard that. Laugh if you want to, but I'll do whatever it takes to win.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Papa Bear''': ''[watching Farmer Ben fertilize his pumpkin patch]'' It doesn't matter what you do, Ben. None of your pumpkins are going to ever measure up to the Giant. ''[chuckles]''<br />
<br />
===''Ferdy Factual / Lend a Helping Hand'' [2.4]===<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': I don't get it. Queenie pretends to be his friend, we're really trying to be his friends, and we're the ones he ignores.<br />
:'''Cousin Freddy''': How can somebody so smart be so dumb?<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': Ferdy knows a lot of things, but I don't think he knows very much about friends.<br />
:'''Cousin Freddy''': Guess he'll just have to find out about Queenie the hard way.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Sister Bear''': Widder Jones is really nice, isn't she?<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': And she's always doing things for everyone else.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Sister Bear''': ''[to Brother]'' Are you doing anything important on Saturday?<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': Yeah, sort of. I'm helping out a neighbor at her yard sale.<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': Me too.<br />
<hr><br />
:'''Mama Bear''': ''[to Widder Jones on the phone]'' I'm so pleased Brother and Sister were able to help you out. Uh-huh. Yes. I'll be sure to tell them. ''[The cubs open the door and come in]'' Oh, hold on. They just came in the door. Would you like to speak to one of them? Alright. ''[to the cubs]'' It's Widder Jones.<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': ''[to Sister]'' You talk to her.<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': Huh? No way! I don't want to talk to her!<br />
:'''Papa Bear''': ''[sternly]'' What's gotten into you two?<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': Yes. Widder Jones thanks the world of you, cubs.<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': ''[sighs, takes the phone, and talks to Widder Jones]'' Hello. Oh, you're welcome. Next Saturday? Um... Well, actually, Sister and I were...<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': Ahem.<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': Yes. We'll help you clean out your [[w:attic|attic]]. ''[chuckles]'' Okay. Bye. ''[hangs up]''<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': ''[disappointed]'' Aw! I was going to play at Lizzy's on Saturday!<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': I told Lenny I'd come over and check out his new video game!<br />
:'''Papa Bear''': Those things can always wait until another time.<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': I'm sure Lenny and Lizzy will understand.<br />
:'''Papa Bear''': You know, you two should be very proud of yourselves. Helping others is a tradition that Bear Country was built on.<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': But we already helped out for a whole afternoon!<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': Come on, Sister, let's go do something fun before it gets dark.<br />
<br />
===''The Big Blooper / Nothing to Do'' [2.5]===<br />
<br />
:''[The scene cuts to Sister and Lizzy's indoor picnic. That is, while it is raining outside. In this scene, the dolls --Sister's doll and Lizzy's doll-- are sisters and act like they are Sister and Lizzy's children. Sister is "Mommy", while Lizzy is "The Aunt". In the meantime, Brenda --Sister's doll-- is "stuffed" because she ate her cookies/dessert/snacks first. That is, as she --Brenda-- says...!]''<br />
:'''Brenda (Sister's Impersonation)''': "Mommy...? I can't eat any more of my sandwich! I'm stuffed!"<br />
:'''Angela (Lizzy's Impersonation)''': "I'm stuffed too!" <br />
:'''Sister''': ''[as her doll's "mama"]'' I told you to not eat your cookies first. <br />
:''[Sister and Lizzy both laugh. When Sister's Doll ate her cookies/dessert/snacks first, she was too full up to eat her sandwich.]'' <br />
:'''Lizzy''': Go Brenda go!<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': Come on, Angela! You can do it!<br />
:'''Mrs Bruin''': Hi, Mrs Bearfoot. I'm fine, thanks. How are you?<br />
:'''Lizzy''': Go, Brenda! You're almost there!<br />
:'''Sister Bear''' Hurry Hurry!<br />
:'''Mrs Bruin''': Uh-huh. Just a minute, Mrs Bearfoot. Lizzy, can you and Sister do something quiet while i'm on the phone, please?<br />
:'''Lizzy''': Okay, Brenda it's time for you and Angela to have your afternoon naps.<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': Yes, it's naptime girls.<br />
:'''Lizzy''': No [[w:monkey|monkey]] business you two.<br />
:'''Angela (Lizzy's Impersonation)''': We'll be listening.<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[On the video "Trouble at Big Bear High". It is a video that Barry --Lizzy's older brother-- had rented from a video rental shop.]''<br />
:'''Boy Bear''': Out of my way, guys! I got points to score! Your team's going down, furball!<br />
:'''Boy Bear 2''': Who you calling furball, Furball?<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Sister Bear''': ''[Brother accidentally knocks over Sister's glass of milk.]'' Brother, look what you did!<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': Sorry.<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': You're such a furball! <br />
:''[Mama Gasps]''<br />
:''' Sister Bear''': What? Did I say something wrong?<br />
:'''Papa Bear''': ''[scolds Sister]'' You certainly did, young lady! That's a ''terrible'' thing to call someone!<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': Wherever did you hear language like that?<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': On a video.<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': What sort of video?<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': "''Trouble at Big Bear High''".<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': ''[Chuckles]'' ''"Trouble at Big Bear High"''? That video's not for little cubs.<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': If it has ''that'' kind of talk in it, I don't think it's for big cubs either.<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': Lizzy's older brother rented it. I didn't know.<br />
:'''Papa Bear''': I know you didn't know, (and neither did Lizzy,) but now you do.<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': You can really hurt someone's feelings with that word. But the important thing is, we caught it in time, before you said it to someone else.<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': Uh-oh, I think she said it to someone else.<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': Oh, Sister!<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': Mama, I need to go see Lizzy right away.<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': Hurry along, then.<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': And I thought I did dumb things sometimes. ''[pours too much ketchup on his beet greens]'' Oops.<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': Lizzy! You know that word we've been saying? It's a bad word.<br />
:'''Lizzy''': Now you tell me. I called my brother a you-know-what, right in front of my mom!<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': Oh, no!<br />
:'''Lizzy''': Oh, yes! I didn't know it was a bad word. Boy, did I ''ever'' get a talking to? ''(Sighs)'' I wish we'd never watched that video!<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': Me too! No wonder Stacy and Millie didn't want to play with us.<br />
:'''Lizzy''': I forgot all about Stacy and Millie. I wonder what they think of us? Now what do we do?<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': We tell them we're sorry! Come on!<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Millie''': Crude talk is rude talk.<br />
:'''Stacy''': And name calling is nasty.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Sister Bear''': Saying words that hurt other people's feelings doesn't sound too grown-up to me.<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': You're right. Our language has so many words to choose from.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Mama Bear''': What are you cubs doing?<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': ''[sighs]'' Nothing.<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': There's nothing to do.<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': Nothing to do? Everybody else seems to be able to find something to do.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Papa Bear''': Yes. Four hands may clean up faster than two, but eight hands clean even faster.<br />
<br />
===''House of Mirrors / Too Much Pressure'' [2.6]===<br />
:'''Mrs. Bruin''': Some little bears have big ears.<br />
:'''Lizzie''': You mean Sister has big ears?<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Sister Bear''': I have big ears!<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': ''[chuckles]'' Big ears? Goodness, I don't know where you got the idea. But your ears aren't big.<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': Yes, they are! They're big. Big as an [[w:elephant|elephant's!]]<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Sister hears a baby crying. The baby is crying because she let go of her balloon. Her mother shushes her to calm her down. Sister has an idea she to give her ice cream to the baby to make her feel better]''<br />
:'''Mother''': I'm sorry, dear. The [[w:balloon|balloon]]'s too high. Mama can't get it back.<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': Mmm, good! ''[She gives the baby her ice cream]'' Hasn't even have a lick!<br />
:''[The baby she tastes the ice cream and likes it]''<br />
:'''Mother''': Thank you. ''[to Mama]'' I hope someday your daughter gets to turn out like mine.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Sister Bear''': Lizzie, maybe you're a bit loud and maybe you talk a lot. But don't ever listen to anyone who says you have a big mouth.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Mama Bear''': I know I'm forgetting something. But what? ''[tries to turn on the car, but it's not working, because she forgot to get it fixed]'' Oh, the car! I forgot to get the car fixed!<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': We're going to be late, Mama!<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': We have to do something!<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': I don't know what to... ''[starts crying.]''<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': Don't cry, Mama!<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': Mama?<br />
:''[Brother and Sister both cry after Mama does. Now Mama, Brother, and Sister are crying in the red roadster car, because it's not working.]'' <br />
:'''Papa Bear''': ''[as he sees that Mama, Brother and Sister are crying, because Mama forgot to get the car fixed]'' What in? ''[The scene cuts back to the cubs and Mama crying. Then it cuts back to Papa. And Papa says...!]'' So this is what it's come to! Alright then, as of this moment I'm calling it absolutely everything for today offically off!<br />
:''[In the book, only Mama was crying. And Sister went inside to stay with Mama, while Brother got Papa. In the TV adaptation, when the car did not start, Brother and Sister were both crying with Mama. The scene cuts to the bear family's living room. And Papa erases all of the cubs's summer activities. That is, since the car would not start.]''<br />
<br />
===''Visit Fun Park / The Perfect Fishing Spot'' [2.7]===<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': The thunderbolt is nothing for a cub like me. I can do the whole ride with my arms up in the air, and a big smile on my face!<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': Now, Brother. No one likes to listen to that kind of boastful talk.<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': ''[laughs]'' You should have heard him bragging about shooting the basketball with his eyes closed, Mama.<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': Oh?<br />
:'''Lizzy''': Then he missed by a mile. ''[laughs]''<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': You see? It's easy to boast, but not so easy when you have to admit you can't do the big things you boast about.<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': So you shouldn't brag about things you've never done before.<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': Okay. I'll brag about it after then.<br />
:'''Lizzy''': After the ride, or after you gotten sick to your stomach! ''[Lizzy and Sister laugh]''<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': Ha, ha.<br />
:'''Papa Bear''': I rode the thunderbolt when I was a cub. Walked away with my head hailed high So if my my son is made up the same way as his papa, then... Whoa! ''[He falls]'' He'll do just fine.<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': Thank you, Papa.<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Papa Bear''': If there's no prize-winning fish in this lake, why, I'll eat my hat!<br />
<hr width"50%"/><br />
:'''Sister Bear''': We're having a great time, aren't we, Lizzy?<br />
:'''Lizzy''': Uh-huh! we made [[w:balloon animal| balloon animals]] at the craftshow.<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': And we went to the [[w:petting zoo|petting zoo]].<br />
:'''Lizzy''': We were laughing so hard on the [[w:trampoline|trampoline]], my face hurts.<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': How did you boys make out on the Thunderbolt?<br />
:'''Papa Bear''': We're going on that next.<br />
:'''Cousin Freddy''': But you can't take food on the ride, and Brother hasn't finished his [[w:pizza|pizza]] yet.<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': ''[takes a bite of his pizza]'' I'm working on it.<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': You've been nibbling on that pizza slice for almost an hour. <br />
:'''Brother Bear''': I'm not hungry I guess.<br />
:'''Papa Bear''': Here. I'll finish it off for you.<br />
:''[Papa tries to take a bite of the pizza but Mama stops him]''<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': Now Papa, you really should stop eating so much.<br />
:'''Papa Bear''': Nonsense, ''[standing in front of a mirror]'' besides, look how thin I am!<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Sister Bear''': I think we should have stuck with the fish we had before.<br />
:'''Papa Bear''': But I wanted a real prize winner.<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': But Papa, we weren't catching a fish to win a prize. We were catching a fish for dinner. I don't think Gran and Gramps need a [[w:whale|whale]].<br />
<br />
===''The Summer Job / The Big Red Kite'' [2.8]===<br />
:'''Farmer Ben''': You cubs look awfully cheery today!<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': That's because school's out.<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': Yep, it's the first day of summer!<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Farmer Ben''': ''[referring to the farm]'' Peace and quiet doesn't last long around here.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Sister Bear''': ''[after pumping the water]'' I think my arms are going to fall off.<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': If they do, may I use them to carry two more pails of water?<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Sister Bear''': Gee, Farmer Ben is going to lose his whole crop! He doesn't need to hear about losing his helpers too.<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': I know.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Papa Bear''': You don't need to buy a kite when you can make one.<br />
<br />
===''Too Much Vacation / The Trouble with Grown-Ups'' [2.9]===<br />
:'''Papa Bear''': ''Okay, Everyone set?''<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': ''Are we forgetting something?''<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': ''[gasps]'' Brother!<br />
:''[Brother comes running out of the house]''<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': ''[chuckles]'' Well, we can't forget Brother!<br />
:'''Papa Bear''': ''[chuckles]'' After all, this is a family vacation.<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': Got the [[w:camera|camera]], I wanna take lots of pictures.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Papa Bear has just fallen into the river after being carried out of the cabin in a flood.]''<br />
:'''Papa Bear''': ''[angrily]'' That's it! We're going home! The best vacation ever has been nothing but the '''''worst''''' vacation ever! Nothing has gone right. The [[w:cabin|cabin]], the [[w:fishing|fishing]], the [[w:berries|berries]]... '''''THE [[w:stew|STEW]]!''''' It was all supposed to be... fun!<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Mama Bear''': ''Sometimes the difference between having a bad time and a great time all depends on how you look at it.''<br />
:'''Papa Bear''': And you know what the best part of this vacation is? It's not over yet. Now, who wants to go find some sweet bumble berries for breakfast?<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': Yes!<br />
:'''Brother Bear''' Let's go!<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Papa --who was looking for the rest of his newspaper-- finds the rest of his newspaper and sees Brother using it to keep the paint off of his desk. Before that, Sister was hogging the phone when she was talking to Lizzy. Even though Mama needed the phone to call the hardware store. In the meantime, Papa sees Brother. And he --Papa-- wants to know what Brother is doing with the rest of his newspaper.]''<br />
:'''Papa Bear''': ''[shocked]'' '''WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH (THE REST OF) MY [[w:newspaper|NEWSPAPER]]?!'''<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': I'm using it to keep the paint off my desk.<br />
:'''Papa Bear''': '''YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED!'''<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': But no one in this family reads the for-sale section! <br />
:'''Papa Bear''': '''WELL, I'M READING IT NOW! (NOW I WANT THE REST OF MY NEWSPAPER!)''' <br />
:''[After Papa says this, he demands that Brother hands over the rest of his newspaper. Because the "for sale" section was part of his newspaper. And Brother was using it to keep the paint off of his desk, when he should've taken the old newspaper from the recycle bin instead.]''<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': Did you find it? ''[Phone ringing]'' Oh! Mrs Honeypot!<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': Hi Lizzy. ''[realizes Mama is standing in front of her]'' Uh-oh! I'll call you back.<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': ''[to Sister]'' You know I have been waiting for mayor's wife to call, and you're always on the phone with Lizzy! You have all day to talk to her tomorrow, so please stay off the phone! And it's your turn to set the table!<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Mama Bear''': Just think, someday you'll be parents with cubs all your own to take care of.<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': I think maybe we'll skip that part.<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': And we'll just become grandparents.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Teacher Jane''': Our last play for tonight features Brother and Sister Bear, Cousin Fred, and Lizzie Bruin. It's called "The Trouble with Parents".<br />
:''[As the school play starts, Brother is "Papa Bear", Sister is "Mama Bear", Cousin Freddy is "Brother Bear", and Lizzy is "Sister Bear"]''<br />
:'''Brother Bear as Papa Bear''': Where's (the rest of) my newspaper, son?<br />
:'''Cousin Freddie as Brother Bear''': I have it, Papa. I'm using it so you don't get any paint on this nice new table you made in your workshop.<br />
:'''Brother Bear as Papa Bear''': What?! You didn't ask me!<br />
:'''Cousin Freddie as Brother Bear''': But you never read this section, Papa!<br />
:'''Brother Bear as Papa Bear''': That doesn't matter! Ooh, you cubs make me so mad!<br />
:''[Everyone in the audience laughs, including the grandparents. But Papa and Mama Bear are embarrassed.]''<br />
:'''Lizzy as Sister Bear''': ''[talking on the phone]'' Hi, Terry. How are you?<br />
:'''Sister Bear as Mama Bear''': Is that Mrs. Waterspout, dear?<br />
:'''Lizzy as Sister Bear''': No, Mama. It is my friend, Terry.<br />
:'''Sister Bear as Mama Bear''': You know I'm waiting for a very important telephone call!<br />
:'''Lizzy as Sister Bear''': I'm sorry, Mama. But I didn't--<br />
:'''Sister Bear as Mama Bear''': You cubs talk on the phone a zillion times a day! It makes me want to '''''SCREAM!'''''<br />
:''[The cap on Sister's costume flies off.]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[As the school play ends]''<br />
:'''Lizzie''': You know sometimes.<br />
:'''Cousin Freddy''': Our parents are all right.<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': But sometimes it's hard being a cub when parents seem to blow their tops without a good reason.<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': Sooner or later, parents grow out of it and become grandparents.<br />
:'''Brother Bear, Sister Bear, Lizzie and Cousin Freddy''': And grandparents never blow their tops at their grandcubs.<br />
<br />
===''Go to the Doctor / Don't Pollute (Anymore)'' [2.10]===<br />
:'''Dr. Grizzly''': Papa, I'm afraid you're sick.<br />
:'''Papa Bear''': I never get sick... well, almost never.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Mama Bear''': Well, I'm glad you didn't come by any earlier or you would've missed us.<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': We were at Dr. Grizzly's for our checkup.<br />
:'''Honey''': Mama!<br />
:'''Audrea''': Aw, Honey. There, there. It's alright.<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': Oh, is the [[w:lemonade|lemonade]] too sour?<br />
:'''Audrea''': Oh no, Sister. It's about the doctor. Honey has her second checkup this afternoon. (Her first check-up at both the doctor and dentist, they were last year.) And (because this year is her second check-up at the doctor's office,) she is a little upset about it.<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': But Dr. Grizzly is really nice. You'll like getting a checkup.<br />
:'''Honey''': I don't want to go for a checkup! I'm not going to! <br />
:''[Honey under the table, and says...!]'' <br />
:'''Honey''': I'm staying under here!<br />
:''[True to what Honey says, she thinks it's better to stay away from seeing the doctor and dentist.]'' <br />
:'''Sister Bear''': Sorry. I was just trying to help.<br />
:'''Audrea''': No, it's not your fault. Honey's just got it into her head that her checkup is going to be scary.<br />
:'''Honey''': It is going to be scary! I'm not going!<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': Hmm. I'll be right back.<br />
:''[Honey is hiding because she doesn't want to have her second check-up even though she had her first one already. In fact, since this year’s her second one, she’s going for her annual check-up.]''<br />
:'''Audrea''': Now Honey, I think it's time to come out from under there.<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': Yes, you wouldn't want to get sewen into the quilt.<br />
:'''Honey''': ''[from inside the quilt]'' I'm not coming out until you promise I don't have to go to see the doctor! <br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Mama Bear''': When we do the work together, it makes a big job smaller.<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': And easier.<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': Uh-huh.<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': And more fun.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Professor Actual Factual''': Sometimes, little ideas can help solve the biggest problems.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Professor Actual Factual''': That's another environment problem in Bear Country. ''[sees a piece of wood from a bumbleberry tree]'' And so is this. A sample to add to my endangered and extinct species display. ''[picks up the piece of wood from a bumbleberry tree]''<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': But I thought endangered species were just [[w:animal|animals]], Professor.<br />
:'''Professor Actual Factual''': Well, animals, [[w:plant|plants]], and even [[w:tree|trees]] can become extinct or endangered.<br />
<br />
===''The In Crowd / Fly It'' [2.11]===<br />
:'''Hilary''': Go ahead! Whoever wants to go play with Little Miss Hairbow can be my guest!<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Sister Bear''': Would you like to double-dutch with us, Hillary?<br />
:'''Hillary''': ''[Chuckles]'' You're kidding, right? Jumping rope's for little cubs. ''[Hillary gives Sister a thumbs down as she does not want to jump rope]'' But then looking at that pink ruffled jumper and that hair bow, I guess you are a little cub.<br />
:'''Papa Bear''': Take that!<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': En Garde!<br />
:'''Papa Bear''': Touché!<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': ''[Laughing]'' Now, boys.<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': Sorry, Mama. But your honey-glazed carrots are so good.<br />
:'''Papa Bear''': Hey! What about my turkey loaf? I thought that was pretty good too.<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': Best in Bear Country Papa.<br />
:'''Papa Bear''': Too bad Sister doesn't think so.<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': Not hungry tonight, Sister?<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': Not really.<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': Is something wrong, sweetie?<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': Well, Hillary made fun of my clothes, my name, and said jumping rope is for little cubs!<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': Who's Hillary?<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': A new girl at school. She wears cool clothes, a headband, and listens to cool music on a boom box. She even has hoop earrings. Mama, do you think jumping rope is just for little cubs?<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': No, I don't. But more important then what I or Hillary or anybody else thinks is what you think. Do you think jumping rope is just for little cubs?<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': No.<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': Then that's all that matters. Just be yourself and others will accept you for who you are.<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': Thanks, Mama.<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Teacher Bob''': If at first you don't succeed, then try, try again.<br />
<br />
===''By the Sea / Catch the Bus'' [2.12]===<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': We have some work to do.<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': Work? But I thought this was supposed to be a vacation.<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': Brother's right. It's not fair!<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': Now, now. I don't want to hear that kind of talk. If we all work together...<br />
:'''Papa Bear''': ''[interrupts Mama]'' Uh, Mama? They've got a point.<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': I beg your pardon?<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Mama Bear''': Ah-ha. Now I see. The cubs are learning a lesson today.<br />
:'''Papa Bear''': ''[chuckles]'' That's right. It's Papa Bear's crash course in vacation cooperation, consideration, and participation.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Papa Bear''': What's the matter, Brother? Do you have [[w:ant|ants]] in your [[w:pants|pants]]?<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': No, I have [[w:sand|sand]] in my [[w: swimsuit|swimsuit]].<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': You just put it on. How can there be sand in it?<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': It's kind of a long story. <br />
<br />
<hr width= ''50%''><br />
:'''Brother Bear''': ''[arrives home after playing at Lenny's house]'' Hey, where's dinner?<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': We already ate.<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': There are leftovers in the fridge. You can help yourself.<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': You ate without me?<br />
:'''Papa Bear''': Mama's meatloaf was getting cold.<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': And we were hungry!<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': Why is everyone so grumpy?<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': You kept us waiting for half an hour.<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': I was playing Lenny's new video game I must have lost track of time. ''[sees a gift on the table]'' Hey, whose present is it?<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': Yours.<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': Gee, thanks. What did I do?<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': It's for your birthday.<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': My birthday? But that's a month away!<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': We thought you could use it right now.<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': Use what?<br />
:'''Papa Bear''': Open it.<br />
:''[Brother opens his gift]''<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': Wow! A Mighty Super Bear watch!<br />
<br />
<hr width=''50%''/><br />
:'''Brother Bear''': Hey, where are you going?<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': ''[angrily and tries to rush Brother]'' The [[w:bookstore|bookstore]]! Remember?!<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': I remember. I was just playing at Lenny's.<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': I told you, "4 o'clock!"! <br />
:'''Mama Bear''': ''[also trying to rush Brother]'' Come on, Brother! We are already late as it is! <br />
:''[The scene cuts to the book store. Brother and Sister have to miss out going to the bookstore because it's closed. Thanks to Brother who was late. Sister sees the "CLOSED" sign on the entrance door of the bookstore. And she says...!]''<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': ''[sadly]'' '''I DON'T BELIEVE IT! IT IS CLOSED!''' <br />
:''[Sister --after saying this-- sadly sighs and huffs.]'' <br />
:'''Mama Bear''': I'm sure Ursula Major will visit the bookstore again. <br />
:''[Sister glares at Brother.]''<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': Hey, don't look at me! That [[w:train|train]] we had to wait for must have been 100 freight cars long.<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': And if you had come home at 4 o'clock, we would've have been past that railway-crossing before the train came!<br />
:''[True to what Sister says, she, Brother, and Mama missed their last train to go to the bookstore. And they were forced to take their car to it. In the meantime, Sister and Brother both look upset and face away from each other. Sister resumes huffing.]''<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': ''[to Sister]'' Now, now. There's no sense getting upset about it. <br />
:'''Brother Bear''': Right, Sis. These things happen (sometimes). <br />
:'''Mama Bear''': ''[sternly]'' I didn't say that, Brother!<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': What? <br />
:'''Mama Bear''': These things happen (sometimes), yes! But you are coming home late! And it didn't help! That is what matters!<br />
:''[True to what Mama says, these things do happen sometimes. It was an accident and accidents happen. But according to Mama's saying, he's always coming home late. That's what matters.]'' <br />
:'''Brother Bear''': Maybe next time I should pay closer attention to my [[w:watch|watch]]. <br />
:'''Mama Bear''': A watch to be on time, it doesn't take you where you have to be! <br />
:''[Then Mama turns to both of the cubs and talks to them about Brother's "being late" issue. And she says...!]'' <br />
:'''Mama Bear''': ''[to both the cubs and points to both of them]'' It's up to you (two) to decide if you want to be on time!<br />
:''[True to Mama's saying, having a watch --to be on time-- might be one thing. A watch, it is one good thing. But it --a watch-- is not going to take you where you have to be. It is your decision if you want to be on time. Mama says to Brother, "It is up to you to decide whether you want to be on time!".]''<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': ''[to Mama]'' I want to be on time. I just get busy with things sometimes. <br />
:''[Sister turns to Brother. And she says...!]'' <br />
:'''Sister Bear''': ''[to Brother]'' Well, next time you get busy with things, don't mess up my time too!<br />
<br />
===''Family Get-Together / The Stinky Milk Mystery'' [2.13]===<br />
:'''Mama Bear''': It takes all kinds to make up a family.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Sister Bear''': ''[sighs]'' I wish I lived on a farm.<br />
:'''Farmer Ben''': Oh, I wouldn't want to live anywhere else, even though there are many chores to do.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Brother Bear''': I wouldn't want to do anything that would make Farmer Ben upset. He might not let us come back and help him again.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Sister Bear''' ''[To Farmer Ben about the cows]'' It's all our fault, Farmer Ben!<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': We did it! We made your [[w:cow|cows]] sick!<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': We forgot the latch the gate this morning!<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': So they got out!<br />
:'''Sister''': Shep got them back in, but it was too late!<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': Something must've happened to them while they got out!<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': Something that made them sick!<br />
:'''Cubs''': And it's all our fault!<br />
:''[Farmer Ben smiles]''<br />
:'''Brother Bear''': Why are you smiling, Farmer Ben?<br />
:'''Farmer Bear''': Because that solves the mystery.<br />
:'''Cubs''': Huh?<br />
:'''Farmer Ben''': The stinky milk mystery.<br />
:'''Verterinarian''': The cows are fine.<br />
:'''Sister Bear''': ''[sighs]'' They're not sick?<br />
:'''Verterinarian''': No, come on. I'll show you.<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
{{wikipedia|The Berenstain Bears (2003 TV series)}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:The Berenstain Bears (2003 TV series) seasons|2]]</div>~2026-44937-18https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Fictional_last_words_in_animated_films&diff=3990444Fictional last words in animated films2026-08-18T13:39:58Z<p>~2026-44937-18: /* Don Bluth animated films */</p>
<hr />
<div>This page contains the fictional last words from animated films.<br />
<br />
==Quotes==<br />
===Disney animated films===<br />
''See also [[Last words in Disney animated films]].''<br />
<br />
===20th Century Studios animated films===<br />
''See also [[Last words in 20th Century Studios animated films]].''<br />
<br />
===Blinky Bill films===<br />
====Blinky Bill the Movie (2015)====<br />
*'''Mummy?'''<br />
**Who: Sir Claude<br />
**Notes: After he been punched in the face by Blinky Bill's mother Betty to protect her son, So Blinky with his family and friends are escape the zoo while Claude encounters the crocodile to for are crunching sounds and Claude's screams of pain as he is eaten alive.<br />
<br />
===Bleach films===<br />
====Bleach: Memories of Nobody====<br />
* '''It's too late, little girl! Goodbye!'''<br />
** Who: Benin<br />
** Notes: The female member of the Dark Ones. She engages Sui-Feng in battle and almost strangles her saying this. However, Sui-Feng breaks free and hits her with Suzumebachi, disintegrating the female Dark One.<br />
<br />
* '''What the...?'''<br />
** Who: Mue<br />
** Notes: One of the Dark Ones, who can use shurikens and a detachable sword. When Kenpachi finds his hiding spot, Mue says this in shock, leading to a chase around the trees. He almost blows up Kenpachi, but the Squad 11 Captain cuts Mue open.<br />
<br />
* '''I can't believe he still has that kind of power left.''' ''[sees his rocket pack frozen]'' '''What's happening?! NO!'''<br />
** Who: Riyan<br />
** Notes: One of the Dark Ones armed with a rocket launcher pack. As he fights Toshiro Hitsugaya, Riyan is surprised and horrified at the Daiguren Hyorinmaru dragon and at his rocketpack being frozen. The dragon then crushes him to death.<br />
<br />
* '''What the hell?!'''<br />
** Who: Bau<br />
** Notes: One of the Dark Ones armed with kanabo clubs. He seemed to succeed in defeating Hihio Zabimaru, but becomes dumbstruck when it reforms. Renji informs him "My Zanpakuto's tougher than you think. And underestimating my power is going to be your LAST MISTAKE!" then uses Zabimaru to smash the snake into Bau, killing him as the ground crumbles.<br />
<br />
* '''I told you, you can't escape!'''<br />
** Who: Jai<br />
** Notes: One of the Dark Ones who can duplicate his chakrams and his body. Showing his body duplication, he says this to Rukia and prepares to kill her but Byakuya arrives using Senbonzakura Kageyoshi to destroy Jai completely.<br />
<br />
* '''Come on!'''<br />
** Who: Ganryu<br />
** Notes: In his final battle with Ichigo in the Valley of Screams, he charges his energy saying this and charges through. When the dust settled, Ganryu is wiped out of existence.<br />
<br />
* '''I feel warm...Ichigo, will we ever meet again?'''<br />
** Who: Senna<br />
** Notes: A shinigami who befriended Ichigo in Karakura town. We latter learn that she was already dead. After saving both the Spirit and Human worlds from destruction by returning the memories to the Blanks, she fades away asking this to Ichigo who assure he will.<br />
<br />
====Bleach: Fade to Black====<br />
* '''Time to say goodbye, Rukia...'''<br />
** Who: Homura<br />
** Notes: One of the Soul Children who befriended Rukia and were possessed by a Hollow from years ago with teleportation abilities. After she and her brother, Shizuku are defeated, Rukia remembers their names and Homura bids a final fond farewell to Rukia and dies peacefully.<br />
<br />
* '''My sister, Homura. Thank you...'''<br />
** Who: Shizuku<br />
** Notes: Shizuku's younger brother and one of the special teleportation siblings who wiped the memories of everyone in the Soul Society. After being defeated, Rukia remembers his name and he thanks his sister before dying.<br />
<br />
===City Hunter films===<br />
====City Hunter .357 Magnum====<br />
* '''Protect it! Protect ME, damn it!'''<br />
** Who: Mr. Kihliman<br />
** Note: He pleads this to Saeko (Sandra in the English dub), but his shot in the head.<br />
<br />
* '''Damn EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU TO HELL!'''<br />
** Who: Gunther<br />
** Note: Having been defeated by Ryo Saeba, he loses the will to live and pulls a grenade cursing this before the grenade detonates killing him and destroying the manor house.<br />
<br />
===Don Bluth animated films===<br />
* '''Justin! Justin!''' [Justin: My sword!]<br />
** Who: Sullivan<br />
** Source: ''[[The Secret of NIMH]]''<br />
** Note: Character throws Justin his sword so he can fight Jenner after turning on the latter. Jenner retaliates by fatally slashing him across the chest with his sword and he dies not long afterward.<br />
<br />
* [Justin: It was you! You did it! You killed Nicodemus! That was no accident!] '''Yes, I killed him!''' ''[attacking Justin some more]'' '''He wanted to destroy everything. I've learned this much: take what you can, when you can!''' [Justin: Then you've learned nothing!]<br />
** Who: Jenner<br />
** Source: ''The Secret of NIMH''<br />
** Note: Character admits having murdered Nicodemus while fighting Justin, to whom the above line is spoken. Justin retorts "Then you've learned nothing!" and stabs him. Jenner then tries to kill Justin while his back is turned, but is himself killed when an also-dying Sullivan throws a dagger into his back.<br />
<br />
* '''Courage of the heart is very rare. The Stone has a power when it's there.'''<br />
** Who: Nicodemus<br />
** Source: ''The Secret of NIMH''<br />
** Note: Mrs. Brisby hears this line from what appears to be Nicodemus' spirit via the magic amulet he gave her; he had said the same thing to her earlier in the film.<br />
<br />
* '''Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely.'''<br />
** Who: Littlefoot's mother<br />
** Source: ''The Land Before Time''<br />
** Note: Character was badly injured by a Sharptooth and an earthquake earlier. She says this to her son and dies shortly after.<br />
<br />
* '''So you see, Charlie, the story has a happy ending. I keep the girl and make a fortune, and you...you get to go to heaven. You don't wanna go to heaven, Charlie?''' ''[laughs]''<br />
** Who: Carface Carruthers<br />
** Source: ''[[All Dogs Go to Heaven]]''<br />
** Note: Character is preparing to drown Charlie, who his thugs have tied to an anchor. As he taunts Charlie with the above line, King Gator attacks his lair and subsequently eats him. He is later seen in heaven, telling Annabelle to "shut up" as she tries to prevent him from winding his life-clock.<br />
<br />
* '''Charlie...'''<br />
** Who: The Hellhound<br />
** Source: ''All Dogs Go to Heaven''<br />
** Note: After being banished to Hell following his second death, Charlie's spirit comes to say goodbye to Anne-Marie, accompanied by the monstrous Hellhound from a nightmare he had earlier. The Hellhound beckons Charlie with the above line, but then Annabelle, the Whippet Angel dog, appears as a ball of blue light; as she approaches Charlie, the Hellhound's image disintegrates.<br />
<br />
* '''Yeah...I love you too.'''<br />
** Who: Charlie B. Barkin<br />
** Source: ''All Dogs Go to Heaven''<br />
** Note: Charlie says this to Anne-Marie before returning to heaven. He had previously forsaken his place there, but earned it back by sacrificing himself to save Anne-Marie. At the end of the film, while in heaven, he tells the audience "He'll be back", referring to Carface.<br />
<br />
* '''The King! He's gone, and I'm RUINED!''' ''[cries in defeat]''<br />
** Who: Pinky<br />
** Source: ''[[Rock-a-Doodle]]''<br />
<br />
* '''Hunch, it's me, Uncle Dukey.''' ''[Hunch: Uncle Dukey? Hm, hm, hm. Come here.]'' '''Hunch, no!''' ''[Hunch: Ha ha ha! Animation, it's music to my ears! Hold still, you little twerp! Aggravation! Abomination! Alienation! Ha ha ha! Oh, imagination! Anticipation! Multiplication! Wow!]''<br />
** Who: The Grand Duke of Owls<br />
** Source: ''Rock-a-Doodle''<br />
** Note: After Chaunticleer's magical crows brings sunlight back to the world and causes the Grand Duke's tornado transformation to backfire spectacularly, the Grand Duke tries to reason with his nephew whom he amused himself at his expense repeatedly; But Hunch decides to repay his uncle chasing him into the unknown.<br />
<br />
* '''Speak up.''' [Thumbelina: Never.] '''What?''' [Thumbelina: Never!] '''I...beg your pardon?''' [Thumbelina: I cannot marry Mr. Mole. I don't love him.]<br />
** Who: The Reverend Rat<br />
** Source: ''[[w:Thumbelina (1994 film)|Thumbelina]]'' (1994)<br />
<br />
* '''Thumbelina!'''<br />
** Who: Ms. Fieldmouse<br />
** Source: ''[[w:Thumbelina (1994 film)|Thumbelina]]'' (1994)<br />
<br />
* '''Ha ha! Hiya, toots!''' [Thumbelina: I'm not your toots. ''[grunts]''] '''Whoa! Hey, wait, wait!''' [Grundel: Thumbelina!] '''My wings! My wings!'''<br />
** Who: Berkley Beetle<br />
** Source: ''[[w:Thumbelina (1994 film)|Thumbelina]]'' (1994)<br />
<br />
* '''Fairy prince?! No!''' [Berkley Beetle: Aah!] '''You killed him!''' [Berkley Beetle: Wha!]<br />
** Who: Grundel<br />
** Source: ''[[w:Thumbelina (1994 film)|Thumbelina]]'' (1994)<br />
** Note: Grundel says this to Berkeley Beetle as soon as they see Prince Cornelius alive and in the flesh. After knocking Beetle out with one fist to his head, Grundel takes a torch as he prepares to kill the fairy prince and eventually falls into a pit taking Cornelius with him. During the credits, it is revealed that Grundel survived the fall with a broken leg and married a female toad.<br />
<br />
* '''Thumbelina, come back!'''<br />
** Who: Mr. Mole<br />
** Source: ''[[w:Thumbelina (1994 film)|Thumbelina]]'' (1994)<br />
<br />
* ''[laughs maliciously]'' '''It is...''DONE''.'''<br />
** Who: Queen Gnorga<br />
** Source: ''A Troll in Central Park''<br />
** Note: After Stanley is turned into stone, Gnorga is transformed into a rosebush, and gets sucked back to the troll world along with Llort and her dog.<br />
<br />
* '''Say your prayers, you fool! Ooh? AAAAHHHHH!!!!!!'''<br />
** Who: Drake<br />
** Source: ''[[The Pebble and the Penguin]]''<br />
** Note: Character says this to Hubie, shortly before being crushed to death beneath the rubble of his collapsing lair.<br />
<br />
* '''Confident? Ha! You are a traitor! Get out!'''<br />
** Who: Tsar Nicolas II<br />
** Source: ''[[Anastasia (1997 film)|Anastasia]]'' (1997)<br />
** Note: Said to Rasputin, who curses the Tsar and his family, who are all killed, except for Anastasia herself, in the Russian Revolution.<br />
<br />
* [Anastasia: This is for Dimitri!] '''Give it back!''' [Anastasia: This is for my family!] '''I'll tear you to pieces!''' [Anastasia: And this...this is for you!] '''NO!''' [Anastasia: ''Do svidanya!'']<br />
** Who: Grigori Rasputin<br />
** Source: ''Anastasia'' (1997)<br />
** Note: After this exchange, Anastasia destroys Rasputin's magical reliquary, to which his soul is linked. The demons inside of it then reduce Rasputin to a writhing skeleton that swiftly disintegrates, and the dust that remains is blown away by the wind.<br />
<br />
* '''People of Moscow! My people!''' ''[burps]'' '''Oh my goodness...'''<br />
**Who: Ludmilla<br />
**Source: ''Bartok the Magnificent''<br />
**Notes: After Ludmilla drinks Baba Yaga's magic potion up, and then turns into a fire-breathing dragon during the musical number, "The Real Ludmilla", she accidentally scares Prince Ivan's royal subjects in the process, only to belch out fire onto a nearby carpet she is standing on, leaving behind a hole in it. Seeing her reflection, she gasps in shock, then goes into a savage rage and terrorizes Moscow. She is then later crushed to death by the falling water tower that was deliberately caused by Bartok.<br />
<br />
* '''Hi, they went down there! They came in my kitchen and they ruined it...!''' ''[Drej Soldier blasts him into bits]'' '''Bullseye!'''<br />
** Who: Cook<br />
** Source: ''[[Titan AE]]''<br />
** Notes: When Cale and Korso escaped from the Drej by going through a secret tunnel, thereby accidentally leaving Cook behind in the process, the Drej arrives near the tunnel where Cook is at, and then destroys Cook after he answers them, to which he utters his last words from his moving lips and teeth that falls into the remains of his body.<br />
<br />
* '''Hide and seek, is it? Or should we play "Search and ''Destroy"?''''' [Cale: Preed!]<br />
** Who: Preed<br />
** Source: ''Titan AE''<br />
** Notes: Shortly after saying this, Cale yells "Preed!", Korso grabs Preed's neck, causing him to drop his weapon, and after a struggle, Korso snaps Preed's neck, killing him instantly, and throws his corpse down the stairs for his treachery.<br />
<br />
* '''Go. It's better this way.'''<br />
** Who: Joseph Korso<br />
** Source: ''Titan AE''<br />
** Notes: Korso says this to Cale while sacrificing his life to save humanity.<br />
<br />
===Dragon Ball films===<br />
====Dragon Ball: Sleeping Princess in Devil's Castle====<br />
*[Yamcha: Bulma!] [Bulma: They're here!] '''Visitors! Igor!'''<br />
**Who: Lucifer<br />
**Note: The demon who wants to use the Sleeping Princess jewel to power a cannon that will destroy the sun. He says this to Igor to deal with Goku and his friends, then engages in a brief fight before attempting to fire his cannon. But Goku stops the cannon from hitting the sun, and the cannon instead vaporizes Lucifer.<br />
<br />
====Dragon Ball: Mystical Adventure====<br />
*'''Still as stone.'''<br />
**Who: Lieutenant Blue<br />
**Notes: A lieutenant in the Mifan Empire. Upon making an excuse, he has no choice but to fight Tao. He attempts his telekinesis and thinks he succeeded, but General Tao uses his tongue to pierce the pressure point on his head and kill him.<br />
<br />
* [Tao: The Dragon Ball, tell me where is it?] '''I don't have it, and neither does my son!''' [Tao: How sweet.]<br />
**Who: Bora<br />
**Notes: Upa's father who joined Chiaotzu's tournament to gain an audience. Tao interrogates him if he has a Dragon Ball on him, but Bora gives this answer. As a result, Tao throws him into a statue's spear, impaling him.<br />
<br />
*'''Barbecued kids!'''<br />
**Who: General Tao<br />
**Notes: Chasing Goku to Penguin Village to get the Dragon Ball for Master Shen, he attempts to make a get away whilst shooting missiles at Arale and Goku. He says this, but the missiles are deflected and Tao is blown up.<br />
<br />
====Dragon Ball Z: Bardock The Father of Goku====<br />
*'''See the horror of your end, just like we had too!'''<br />
**Who: Toolo<br />
**Note: The sole surviving Kanassan who gave Bardock the ability to the see the future, Toolo tells him he gave him this power so he would watch the death of the Saiyans, then is vaporized by Bardock.<br />
<br />
*'''Don't you dare die, Bardock!'''<br />
**Who: Fasha<br />
**Note: One of Bardock's troupe. Seeing her commander lose consciousness from Toolo's final warning, she says this trying to keep Bardock alive. She says nothing as she is sent on a mission to Planet Meat. When the unseen mission is completed, Fasha is killed by Dodoria's henchmen.<br />
<br />
*'''Good... luck, old friend. I'm sorry, that I... ugh... can't...'''<br />
**Who: Tora<br />
**Note: One of Bardock's troupe. After being betrayed and mortally wounded by Dodoria out of fear the Saiyans will get stronger than Frieza, Tora in his dying breaths bids Bardock this.<br />
<br />
* ''[groaning]'' '''Yes... I... see... now. It's you, my son. You will be the one who will defeat Frieza.''' ''[chuckles proudly]'' '''KAKAROOOOOOOOOT!'''<br />
*'''Kakarot, my son. Thank you for helping me. You were right. It wasn't too late. I wish I could've held you in my arms when I had the chance. Goodbye, my son.'''<br />
**Who: Bardock<br />
**Note: The biological father of Goku who hoped to change the fate of Planet Vegeta by avenging all killed in Frieza's name. However, Frieza forms a Supernova ball and sends it crashing into Planet Vegeta vaporizing Bardock as well as all the Saiyans on Planet Vegeta. Before Bardock, he foresees that Kakarot who would become Goku would be the one to end Frieza's reign of terror. Goku hears Bardock's words in his mind as he nears Earth.<br />
<br />
====''Dragon Ball Z: The Dead Zone''====<br />
*'''Tutti-frutti!'''<br />
**Who: Nicky<br />
**Note: One of Garlic Jr.'s henchmen. While first fighting Goku, he shouts this, then says nothing else whilst continuing his fight. Later, Goku knocks him out with his power pole, then vaporizes him with a Kamehameha.<br />
<br />
*'''Grace! That kid's loose!'''<br />
**Who: Ginger<br />
**Note: One of Garlic Jr.'s henchmen. He spots Gohan urinating on Krillin's head and yells this. He then engages Goku in a fight with blades from his body and a blast much like the Kamehameha. But Goku blasts him with his Kamehameha. In the rubble, Ginger twitches before dying of his injuries.<br />
<br />
*'''HE'S A MONSTER!'''<br />
**Who: Sansho<br />
**Note: One of Garlic Jr.'s henchmen. While fighting Piccolo, he is blown into a wall and calls him that. Piccolo replies "You and your pals are nothing but talk." then shoots a ki blast that vaporizes Sansho.<br />
<br />
*'''I'll show you real power!'''<br />
*'''They haven't beaten me! I cannot die! I've been given immortality!'''<br />
**Who: Garlic Jr.<br />
**Notes: The Makyan who wanted to usurp Kami as ruler of the Earth. As he tries to suck the heroes into the Dead Zone, he says this while trying to suck Gohan in, but the boy sends a powerful blast of energy to knock Garlic Jr. in instead. He then thinks the latter because he'll live for all time.<br />
<br />
====Dragon Ball Z: The World's Strongest====<br />
*'''What?!'''<br />
**Who: Ebifurya<br />
**Note: Says this as he witnesses Goku breaking out of his "icy grave" that he was going to seal him in, just before he punches him right into a wall, killing him instantly.<br />
<br />
*'''Dr. Wheelo, help me!'''<br />
**Who: Dr. Kochin<br />
**Note: Said as he was falling to his demise while at the same time his skin melted away, revealing his robotic form just before exploding.<br />
<br />
*'''DAMN YOU, GOKU...!'''<br />
**Who: Dr. Wheelo<br />
**Note: Says this just before being blasted away by Goku's Spirit Bomb.<br />
<br />
====Dragon Ball Z: The Tree of Might====<br />
*'''We expected more from all of you.'''<br />
**Who: Daiz<br />
**Notes: A Kabochan henchman of Turles. Preparing to fight Goku, he says this knowing the Z Fighters were worthless. But then later, Goku punches Daiz so hard it fatally cracks his skull.<br />
<br />
*'''Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?'''<br />
**Who: Amond<br />
**Notes: A large human-like alien in service to the Turles Crusher Corps, he expects Goku to shut up, but during his fight, Goku lands a bonecrushing knee-kick to his stomach, killing Amond instantly.<br />
<br />
*'''You and your pathetic Earth friends are defeated, Kakarot. The Earth is a barren wasteland.'''<br />
*'''So Kakarot, you're still alive?'''<br />
*'''Not you again! How did ''this'' happen?'''<br />
**Notes: The first line is from the 1997 Saban dub, knowing the Earth has become a dead place. In the 1998 Pioneer dub and 2006 Funimation dubs, he is shocked to find Goku still standing and is destroyed by the Spirit Bomb along with the misused Tree of Might.<br />
<br />
====Dragon Ball Z: Lord Slug====<br />
*'''Hold on. Hold on! Please, please don't kill me! You're strong, but you can't beat Lord Slug. So, why not join him while you can? Huh? E-Excellent. I see you want to live, huh. You won't be sorry. It's the smart thing to do... uh? Hey!'''<br />
**Who: Wings<br />
**Notes: Beaten by Piccolo, Wings tries to get the Namekian to join Lord Slug, but is head is blown clean off.<br />
<br />
*'''My stars! You fool! My babies are gonna love you!'''<br />
**Who: Medamatcha<br />
**Notes: Angered by Goku's skill, Medamatcha then tries to release his Medas onto Goku, and suck his energy, but Goku uses a single punch to break Medamatcha's spine, killing him instantly.<br />
<br />
*'''You... you're ''dead!'''''<br />
**Who: Angila<br />
**Notes: Seeing Goku kill Medamatcha, Angila tries to blast a Mouth Energy Wave at the Saiyan, but Goku makes the minion of Slug eat the blast and blow his head off.<br />
<br />
*'''WHAT?!'''<br />
**Who: Lord Slug<br />
**Notes: The titular Namekian villain, Lord Slug, near death tries to finish Goku who's borrowing energy from the sun, only to be met with a Spirit Bomb and blown apart along with his ship.<br />
<br />
====Dragon Ball Z: Cooler's Revenge====<br />
*'''Curse that Saiyan monkey! Why wasn't he destroyed with the rest of them?! Wait, I remember now. I remember!''' ''[remembers when he let a baby Goku go because of a slip-up by his brother, Frieza]'' ''' I don't believe it. I could have killed him. ''I'' let him go...'' I let him go...! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!'''''<br />
**Who: [[w:Coola|Cooler]]<br />
**Notes: Said as character is being burnt alive on the surface of the Sun, holding a giant energy blast which finally explodes, "killing" him. However, his dead body was recovered by a machine, and he was resurrected while being integrated into the machine.<br />
<br />
*'''Hah! Hello?!''' ''[laughing]'' '''You looked like a bunch of deer caught in the headlights.''' ''[laughing]'' '''You lose, suckers! Now, die!'''<br />
**Who: Salza<br />
**Notes: After Cooler is blasted into the sun, Salza gets up for one final attempt on the Z Fighter's lives, but Piccolo pierces him with a Special Beam Cannon.<br />
<br />
====Dragon Ball Z: Return of Cooler====<br />
*'''It's just as I told you from the start. You can't win!'''<br />
**Who: Meta-Cooler<br />
**Notes: With the Big Gete Star going into critical thanks to Super Saiyans Goku and Vegeta's energies, Cooler, now part of the Big Gete Star forms a large body to try and kill Goku. He gloats this, but even so, Goku shoots a powerful ki blast to completely destroy him and the star. Vegeta then destroys the sole remaining Big Gete Star chip to prevent this disaster from ever repeating.<br />
<br />
====Dragon Ball Z: Super Android 13====<br />
*'''Okay, let's dance.'''<br />
**Who: Android 15<br />
**Note: As he fights Vegeta, he sips his drink then says this before continuing. They clash punches and it seems Vegeta is beaten, but when Android 15 laughs, his head falls off and into his own hands. He promptly explodes.<br />
<br />
*'''GOKU MUST DIE! GOKU MUST DIE!'''<br />
**Who: Android 13<br />
**Note: A southern-themed Android 13 absorbed the parts of his destroyed Android comrades, 14 and 15, and assumed a super-powerful form. He is destroyed by Goku with a Spirit Bomb-powered punch that obliterates him.<br />
<br />
====Dragon Ball Z: The History of Trunks====<br />
* '''He's... he's gone. Goku's gone!'''<br />
**Who: Future Krillin<br />
<br />
*'''Kakarot... No...'''<br />
**Who: Future Vegeta<br />
<br />
* [Future Android 17: This thunderstorm is a perfect backdrop for your demise.] '''There is no end for me. ''No end''!'''<br />
**Who: Future Gohan<br />
<br />
====Dragon Ball Z: Broly - The Legendary Super Saiyan====<br />
*'''What kind of end to life is this?! Crushed by your own son who once saved your life!'''<br />
*'''Perished at the hands of my own son, not that! Why has destiny conspired against me so tragically?!'''<br />
*'''To be killed by one's own child - is this also the destiny of a Saiyan?'''<br />
**Who: Paragus<br />
**Note: Says this as he is crushed to death by his son, Broly. While Paragus tries to escape by using a Saiyan space pod, Broly sees this and crushes the pod with his bare hands, with Paragus inside. The first line is said at the English FUNimation dub, while the second line is from the British, "Big Green" dub. The third line is said in the original, Japanese version.<br />
<br />
====Dragon Ball Z: Bojack Unbound====<br />
*'''You fool! Any last words before you die?!'''<br />
**Who: Bojack<br />
**Notes: In the battle against Bojack, Gohan pierces his stomach. This causes the galactic villain to yell this to Gohan and attempts one final attack before he is vaporized by the Kamehameha.<br />
<br />
====Dragon Ball Z: Broly - Second Coming====<br />
*'''KAKAROT! ''GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!'''''<br />
**Who: Broly<br />
**Notes: Was hurled into the sun by a Family Kamehameha by Gohan, Goten, and the spirit of the deceased Goku.<br />
<br />
====Dragon Ball Z: Resurrection 'F'====<br />
*'''Commander Sorbet, help meeeeeeeee!'''<br />
**Who: Tagoma<br />
**Notes: Attempting to talk Frieza into re-conquering the galaxy instead of hunting down the Super Saiyans who once killed the villain, Tagoma is telekinetically lifted to a window by Frieza, then blasted into the vacuum of space.<br />
<br />
*'''DAMN YOU, GOKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!'''<br />
**Who: Frieza<br />
**Notes: In the Resurrection 'F' movie, Frieza, once he's at the mercy of Super Saiyan Blue Vegeta, detonates Earth to kill him and everyone on Earth. This is prevented when Whis turns back time so Goku can finish off the evil tyrant. Frieza screams this line as he is obliterated by Goku's God Kamehameha wave attack.<br />
<br />
====Dragon Ball Super: Super Hero====<br />
*'''Get ready, Doc, 'cause your life ends here!<br />
**Who: Magenta<br />
**Notes: The son of Commander Red who wants to restore the Red Ribbon Army to power. When trying to activate Cell Max, he shows off his modified body and gloats this preparing to fight the traitorous Dr. Hedo. Hedo commands Hachimaru to poison him. Having bene poisoned, Magenta dances uncontrollably before finally managing to activate Cell Max prematurely in a final desperate attempt to defeat the heroes.<br />
<br />
===DreamWorks Animation films===<br />
''See also [[Last words in DreamWorks Animation films]].''<br />
<br />
===''Fullmetal Alchemist'' films===<br />
====''[[w:Fullmetal Alchemist: Conqueror of Shambala|Fullmetal Alchemist: Conqueror of Shambala]]''====<br />
*'''Please, I just want to go home... where Mommy is.''' ''[screams in agony]'' '''NOW!'''<br />
**Who: Wrath<br />
**Note: Wrath has just ended a fight with a gigantic and mutated Gluttony by smashing his own automated arm into the center of an alchemic array. In doing so, he has locked his arm in place so that Gluttony cannot pull Wrath away. As Gluttony begins crushing Wrath's torso with his jaws, Wrath pleads with Alphonse to use him and Gluttony as an alchemical sacrifice. In The Gate, he is reunited with his mother and fades into a Portal of Truth.<br />
<br />
*'''Give Al... my regards.'''<br />
**Who: Hohenheim Elric<br />
**Note: Character offers his life to open a portal between worlds. He ends his own life by causing envy, now mutated, into a giant dragon, to bite down on him, opening the portal.<br />
<br />
*'''We're real, Edward. Not just one of your dreams, like your father. I care, and I make mistakes. I may not live much longer, but I'll still be here. Just don't forget me.'''<br />
**Who: Alphonse Heimlech<br />
*Note: The character is dying of TB, and has built huge rocket planes for the Thule Society to make his mark on the world. He regrets his actions when Eckart shoots Edward, and places him in a small rocket plane to stop them. He is shot by one of his Nazi overlords and dies soon after. The Gypsy Noah dances at his funeral.<br />
<br />
*'''Open it again. The doorway. We must destroy it. Sham...balla.'''<br />
**Who: "Chairman" Eckart<br />
**Notes: The character has become utterly encased in trandimensional matter, which forms around her in an apparatus resembling a pressure suit. She is shot and killed by one of her colleagues. The character had a nasty habit of shooting people she didn't need any more, so her death is poetic justice.<br />
<br />
====''[[w:Fullmetal Alchemist: The Sacred Star of Milos|Fullmetal Alchemist: The Sacred Star of Milos]]''====<br />
*'''Damn you. I've come so far.'''<br />
**Who: Melvin Voyager/Security Chief Atlas<br />
**Note: Using Ashleigh Crichton's stolen face, Atlas is confronting the man who he thought he killed, Ashleigh Crichton, whose face had been disfigured, and is living under the Colonel Hershel identity. Taking revenge, Ashleigh blows up Atlas's face using alchemy.<br />
<br />
===''Gundam'' films===<br />
====''[[Mobile Suit Gundam: Char's Counterattack]]'' (1988)====<br />
*'''What?! An enemy?!'''<br />
**Who: Adenaur Paraya<br />
**Notes: In the heat of battle, Adenaur attempts to issue evacuation, and spots an enemy Jagd Doga, which is being used by his daughter Quess. She destroys it, killing Adenaur and all the persons aboard the evacuation shuttle.<br />
<br />
*'''What is this power? How could I have been hit?!'''<br />
**Who: Rezin Schnyder<br />
**Notes: Rezin attempts to make a solo run against the Ra Cailum but Chan Agi uses her Newtype Abilities to hit her Geara Doga hard. Rezin curses how she got a hit before being killed in her Mobile Suit's explosion.<br />
<br />
*'''Don't worry about me!'''<br />
**Who: Kayra Su<br />
**Notes: Piloting the Re-GZ, Kayra is captured by Gyunei Guss as bait for Amuro and the Nu Gundam. Amuro ignores Gyunei's threats and as a result, the Neo Zeon pilot breaks Kayra's spine, killing her instantly.<br />
<br />
*'''CHAN! STOP!'''<br />
**Who: Astonaige Medoz<br />
**Notes: Trying to stop Chan Agi from using Re-GZ, Astonaige is killed by laser fire.<br />
<br />
*'''Funnels won't last for long! Quess, stop it!''' ''[Amuro takes Gyunei by surprise]'' '''What?'''<br />
**Who: Gyunei Guss<br />
**Notes: As Gyunei and the Alpha Azieru attempt to take on Amuro, the former believes the Funnels won't last long, until Amuro gives a direct laser hit that kills the Neo Zeon pilot, who had wanted Quess to himself.<br />
<br />
*'''We're gonna get hit! GET BACK, HATHAWAY!'''<br />
**Who: Quess Paraya<br />
**Notes: Despite Hathaway's attempts to sway her, Quess takes a direct hit from the Re-GZ missile in her Alpha Azieru Mobile Armor and dies.<br />
<br />
*'''HATHAWAY!'''<br />
**Who: Chan Agi<br />
**Notes: As Chan Agi attempts to warn Hathaway about Quess, Hathaway angrily fires his Jegan's rifle at her in a blind rage, killing her, and ignites her Psycoframe.<br />
<br />
*'''Lalah Sune was a young woman, who may very well have become a mother to me. You took away her life, so don't you dare judge me!'''<br />
**Who: Char Aznable<br />
**Notes: Whilst Amuro attempts to push the rear of Axis away from Earth, Char tells of how humans may eventually ruin the Earth. He then reminds Amuro of how he thought of Lalah Sune as a mother to him, just as the Psycoframes destroy both him and Amuro.<br />
<br />
*'''Your MOTHER?!'''<br />
**Who: Amuro Ray<br />
**Notes: Char Anzable taunts Amuro Rey as the Nu Gundam attempts to stop Axis from hitting Earth. When Char tells Amuro that he thought of Lalah Sune as a mother, Amuro's anger caused Nu Gundam's Psychoframe to overload and destroy the Gundam, stopping Axis' fall in the process.<br />
<br />
====''[[w:Mobile Suit Gundam F91|Mobile Suit Gundam F91]]''====<br />
*'''You know, I think I did a good job raising you and Reese. UGH! I did a... good...'''<br />
**Who: Leslie Arno<br />
**Notes: A construction worker and Seabook and Reese's father. Gravely wounded by Annamarie's gunfire, he and his son escape Frontier IV. Before dying of his injuries, Leslie admits he did a fine job at raising his children.<br />
<br />
*'''No! Not now!'''<br />
**Who: Theo Fairchild<br />
**Notes: A Frontier IV baker and Cecily's stepfather. He was actually an agent of the Ronah family. While escorting Nadia Ronah down a hallway, he tries to stop her with this. After Nadia and Carozzo's argument, Theo has a heart attack and dies.<br />
<br />
*'''How can you justify killing for the sake of a fake royal name?!'''<br />
**Who: Annamarie Bourget<br />
**Notes: A former Crossbone Vanguard pilot who turned to Seabook's crew. While fighting Zabine Chareux in her Dahgi Iris, she question how he would kill for the Ronah family name. Zabine using a black Den'an Gei, breaks her Mobile Suit's beam rifle then answers "If we die together, will that put an end to your resentment?" then riddles her and her cockpit with vulcan cannon fire. As she dies, Zabine reminds her "I always taught you that people, who can't deal with their passions are trash."<br />
<br />
*'''DAMN, STUPID... PIECE OF...!'''<br />
**Who: Birgit Pirjo<br />
**Notes: An Earth Federation cadet using a Heavygun Mobile Suit. While attempting to stave off the Crossbone Vanguard's Bug drone attack on Frontier I, he becomes overwhelmed saying this. The Bugs cripple his Mobile Suit and he dies in the explosion.<br />
<br />
*'''I can't make such a decision of my own accord.''' [Zabine: I see, but those who work directly under Iron Mask are not the only ones who can act as they see fit.] '''ZABI...!'''<br />
**Who: Gillet Krueger<br />
**Notes: The Zamouth Garr battleship commander. He rejects Zabine's questioning about the Rafflesia Mobile Armor. As a result, Zabine shoots Gillet in the head and continues "About the Rafflesia, if I didn't know about it, then you can be sure neither it Meitzer." while Gillet's corpse drifts into the vacuum of space.<br />
<br />
*'''Is he a monster?!'''<br />
**Who: Carozzo "Iron Mask" Ronah<br />
**Notes: The Crossbone Vanguard's commander and Cecily Fairchild/Berah Ronah's biological father. After throwing Cecil adrift in space, he engages Seabook Arno's Gunfam F91 Mobile Suit using the Rafflesia Mobile Armor. In the final moments of their duel, Carozzo is surprised by the Mobile Suit's afterimages and Seabook's abilities and is tricked into firing on his own cockpit, killing him instantly.<br />
<br />
===''Jonny Quest'' films===<br />
* '''Jonny!'''<br />
** Who: Dr. Rachel Quest<br />
** Source: ''[[Jonny's Golden Quest]]'' (1993)<br />
<br />
* '''Dr. Zin, please. Here's your gold formula. I'll come back and work for you! Please, show mercy!''' [Dr. Zin: Mmm... Well, Devlon, perhaps I should give you a second chance.]<br />
** Who: Dr. Victor Devlon<br />
** Source: ''[[Jonny's Golden Quest]]'' (1993)<br />
<br />
* [Hadji: A thousand pardons, but I have the last request. Please, gaze upon this stone.] '''Err, what's so special about--?''' [Hadji: Deeply. Gaze deeply and do as I command. You must let these people go.] '''Let... these... people goooo.''' ''[laughing maniacally]'' '''But THIS, when I will finish them off with my bare hands. No more tricks, boy!''' [Hadji: Sim Sim Salabim!]<br />
** Who: Snipe<br />
** Source: ''[[Jonny's Golden Quest]]'' (1993)<br />
<br />
* '''NOOOOOO! This can't be happening! NOOOOOOOOOO!'''<br />
* Who: Dr. Zin<br />
** Source: ''[[Jonny's Golden Quest]]'' (1993)<br />
<br />
* '''Uh, I'm sorry, sir. I've... failed.''' [Dr. Zin: I cannot allow Benton Quest to discover my stealth satellite. Not yet!] '''Don't worry, Dr. Zin, I'll stop Quest. Just wait and--''' [Dr. Zin: Wait for what, 425?! More incompetence?] '''Dr. Zin, please...!'''<br />
* Who: 425<br />
* Source: ''[[Jonny Quest vs. The Cyber Insects]]'' (1995)<br />
<br />
===''Lupin the 3rd'' films===<br />
====''[[w:The Mystery of Mamo|The Mystery of Mamo]]''====<br />
*'''Huh? What the hell?!'''<br />
**Who: Flinch<br />
**Notes: Mamo's top henchman. While dueling Goemon at a cliffside, the two clash, with the former's sword breaking, and Flinch's head being cut apart. He cries this before falling into the ocean.<br />
<br />
*'''Somewhere, close by, or in the furthest reaches of this or some other galaxy, the secret of immortality has been revealed. I will absorb it, and then return to this planet to reign in perpetuity as its ONE TRUE GOD!'''<br />
**Who: Mamo<br />
**Notes: A man who had sought immortality using a number of clones, mainly of himself and Lupin to commit a string of robberies. Now reduced to a brain, he hopes to leave to find the secret of immortality. But Lupin plants a bomb on the rocket. Minutes after leaving the atmosphere, the bomb detonates, making Mamo's brain drift into the sun, burning him up.<br />
<br />
*'''Kill, kill, kill! Let's see kickass collateral damage now, you guys!'''<br />
**Who: Gordon<br />
**Notes: A CIA agent. He is killed by American missiles at a US base offscreen.<br />
<br />
====''[[w:The Castle of Cagliostro|The Castle of Cagliostro]]''====<br />
*'''Let me... GO!'''<br />
**Who: Count Lazare d'Cagliostro<br />
**Notes: The corrupt and greedy count of the Cagliostro family behind the counterfeit money scheme. As he fights Lupin at the clock tower, he yells this trying to knock Clarisse into the water. He then laughs evilly, activating the tower's mechanism that would reveal the treasure. This results in the clock's hands moving up to midnight, crushing Count Cagliostro to death.<br />
<br />
====''The First''====<br />
*'''Führer...'''<br />
**Who: Gerald<br />
**Notes: A neo-Nazi who wanted to uncover a treasure mentioned in Bresson's Diary that could revive the Third Reich. After Lupin triggered a black hole in a treasure called the Eclipse, Gerald and Lupin fought man-to-man on top of a plane. The former didn't care about dying as long as he could kill the latter first. After Gerald tried to strangle him, Lupin kicked Gerald in the groin and sent him flying towards the miniature black hole. Lupin tried to save him, but failed, and watched in horror as Gerald fell to his demise inside the black hole.<br />
<br />
===''My Little Pony'' films===<br />
====My Little Pony: Equestria Girls: Legend of Everfree====<br />
*'''You will never control me! I will always be a part of you!'''<br />
**Who: Midnight Sparkle<br />
**Notes: She tries to haunt Twilight and take control of her, but is destroyed when Twilight embraces the Magic of Friendship within her.<br />
<br />
====My Little Pony: The Movie (2017)====<br />
*'''And why should we cower before you? There's one of you, and hundreds of us!'''<br />
**Who: Princess Luna<br />
**Notes: Gets turned to stone by the Storm King's Staff of Sacanas.<br />
<br />
*'''I... I can't... stop it!'''<br />
**Who: Princess Cadance<br />
**Notes: Like Luna, she too gets turned to stone.<br />
*'''Seek help from the Queen of the Hippo-'''<br />
**Who: Princess Celestia<br />
**Notes: She too is turned to stone like the rest of the princesses; she tries to alert Luna to seek the Queen of the Hippogriffs, but is stoned before she could finish the last word, leaving the Mane Six confused and thinking they need to see the "Queen of the Hippos" at first before Capper corrects them. She and the princesses are eventually returned to normal when Twilight reverses the staff's effects.<br />
<br />
*'''The staff belongs to me! NO! THAT'S MY STAFF! MINE! MINE! Oh no, NOOO!'''<br />
**Who: Storm King<br />
**Notes: He tries to get the Staff of Sacanas, but gets sucked into the storm along with Twilight. Also, as he tries to turn Twilight and her friends to stone, Tempest Shadow jumps in and they both turn into stone. The Storm King's body falls off the balcony and shatters to pieces, but Tempest is saved by Twilight.<br />
<br />
===''Naruto'' films===<br />
====''[[w:Naruto the Movie: Ninja Clash in the Land of Snow|Naruto the Movie: Ninja Clash in the Land of Snow]]''====<br />
*'''Come on! Don't make me laugh!'''<br />
**Who: Mizore Fuyukuma<br />
**Notes: One of Dotō's Three-Man-Team, he brushes off Sakura's techniques and was hit by Sakura Blizzard Jutsu leaving him colliding with Fubuki whose chakra armor reacts badly to his and they both blow up.<br />
<br />
*'''You're dealing with the ninja of the snow here! It'll take more than that to bring us down!'''<br />
**Who: Fubuki Kakuyoku<br />
**Notes: One of Dotō's Three-Man-Team, while fighting Sasuke, she says this to her opponent but Sasuke replies "You're probably right!" then uses Lion's Barrage to send her crashing into Mizore and their chakra armors react making them blow up, killing them both.<br />
<br />
*'''Almost had me there.''' ''[an avalanche knocks him and Kakashi off the cliff]'' '''What?!'''<br />
**Who: Nadare Rōga<br />
**Notes: One of Dotō's Three-Man-Team, as he fought Kakashi, he brushed off a hit to his armor. But then an avalanche knocked him and Kakashi off, then the latter gripped onto him and told him he relied too much on his armor and used taijutsu to slam him headfirst into the rocks below, breaking his neck and killing him.<br />
<br />
*'''It's over... This ridiculous little farce is OVER!'''<br />
**Who: Dotō Kazahana.<br />
**Notes: The usurper of the Land of Snow. Dotō seemingly kills Naruto with his Twin Dragon Blizzard and believes he's won, until Naruto points out every story needs to have a happy ending, then blasts him with a Seven-Coloured Rasengan sending him crashing into his Generator Wall and killing him instantly.<br />
<br />
====''[[w:Naruto the Movie: Legend of the Stone of Gelel|Naruto the Movie: Legend of the Stone of Gelel]]''====<br />
*'''You're no match for me!'''<br />
**Who: Ranke<br />
**Notes: One of Haido's Knights, Ranke gloats this while trying to take down Gaara, but he counters her with the Sand Lightning Rods before finishing her with the Giant Sand Burial destroying her completely.<br />
<br />
*'''I'll kill you!'''<br />
**Who: Fugai<br />
**Notes: One of Haido's Knights, fighting in her wolf form against Sakura, she howls for Sakura to come out of hiding, but her howling weakens some chimes that Sakura wired for detonation. She yells this as the chimes fall on her and detonate, blowing her up.<br />
<br />
*'''Hey! Let me out! Let me out!'''<br />
**Who: Kamira<br />
**Notes: One of Haido's Knights, in her bat form, Kamira attempts to escape Shikamaru's trap, but is caught by Kankuro's Kuroari, and she cries this, but is sliced to pieces by the Secret Black Move: Iron Maiden 2 technique.<br />
<br />
*'''That's not gonna work on ME! I'm... OH NO!'''<br />
**Who: Haido<br />
**Notes: The villain who sought to build a world without war even if it meant killing others and murdered Temujin's family. On his final fight with Naruto, the blonde-haired ninja pierces Haido with the Demon Fox and Gelel Rasengans. Haido first seems to taunt this but cries the latter in horror and it fatally pierce. He attempts to heal again, but dies.<br />
<br />
====''[[w:Naruto the Movie: Guardians of the Crescent Moon Kingdom|Naruto the Movie: Guardians of the Crescent Moon Kingdom]]''====<br />
*'''I thank you, Michiru... I depend on you.'''<br />
**Who: Kakeru Tsuki<br />
**Notes: The former king of the Land of the Moon, Kakeru had been mortally wounded by Ishidate, one of Shabadaba's mercenaries. Before dying, he passes his throne to Michiru and thanks his son before passing on.<br />
<br />
*'''PRINCE MICHIRU!'''<br />
**Who: Korega<br />
**Notes: The captain of the Land of the Moon's military, whilst fighting Ishidate, Korega is distracted by Michiru being endangered, and is turned to stone by Ishidate before being shattered to pieces with his own sword by Ishidate.<br />
<br />
*'''No way!'''<br />
**Who: Kongō<br />
**Notes: One of the Wandering Ninja Clan members hired by Shabadaba, he first held the advantage in the rematch between him and Rock Lee. Somehow, Rock Lee recovered causing Kongō to say this. Rock Lee turned the tide by using the Fifth Gate and finishing Kongō with Reverse Lotus, sending him falling to his death through three floors.<br />
<br />
*'''It's impossible! How!?'''<br />
**Who: Karenbana<br />
**Notes: One of the Wandering Ninja Clan members hired by Shabadaba, Karenbana at first seems like she would win against Sakura. but Sakura recovers, making her say this. Karenbana then tries her genjutsu again, but Sakura sees her coming and uses her chakra-infused punch to fatally send her flying into a wall, destroying every bone in Karenbana's body. Sakura then gloats "Too bad, you forgot to watch your step!"<br />
<br />
*'''ISHIDATE, YOU WILL OBEY ME!'''<br />
**Who: Shabadaba<br />
**Notes: The Land of the Moon minister trying to usurp the throne. During the final battle, Shabadaba tries to remind his cohort Ishidate of his mission to murder Michiru. However, Ishidate turns him surprisingly into a statue that is then destroyed by the force of Ishidate flying into his boss.<br />
<br />
*'''Now to... FINISH THIS GAME!'''<br />
**Who: Ishidate<br />
**Notes: In the final battle, Ishidate turns his boss to stone then prepares to charge his gauntlet for one last jutsu, but is distracted by Kiki and Chamu. Naruto successfully kills him with the Crescent Moon Rasengan.<br />
<br />
====''[[w:Naruto Shippuden the Movie|Naruto Shippuden the Movie]]''====<br />
*'''Taruho... Take care of... Lady... Shion.'''<br />
**Who: Susuki<br />
**Notes: One of Shion's bodyguards in the Land of Ogres, he hoped to get Shion away from the demonic Gang of Four. Susuki blocked a barrage of ninja tools with his body and is mortally wounded. Before dying, he implores this to Taruho.<br />
<br />
*'''Hey! You just ate something, didn't you?!''' ''[extends his arm out at Rock Lee who kicks a rock to him]'' '''What was-'''<br />
**Who: Gitai<br />
**Notes: One of the demonic Gang of Four who had the ability to turn into an Asura-like monster. He spots that Rock Lee was eating a whiskey-laced chocolate and questioned it, but Rock Lee used Drunken Fist to pierce his defenses. With his transformation overloading, Gitai explodes. Kusuna is disappointed by his death.<br />
<br />
*'''Shadow Mirror Body Transfer Art; A Jutsu passed down in the Land of Ogres. A kind of transformation... with no means of returning back.'''<br />
**Who: Taruho<br />
**Notes: One of Shion's bodyguards who used Shadow Mirror Body Transfer Art to make himself look like Shion permanently. He used her appearance to keep the Gang of Four away from Shion and is given a fatal Dark Medical Jutsu operation.<br />
<br />
*'''Why isn't that... Chakra Prescription working?'''<br />
**Who: Kusuna<br />
**Notes: With his henchmen losing their Dark Chakra fast, Neji took him by surprise with Eight Trigrams Sixty-Four Palms, robbing him of his source of chakra. Before dying, he asks this to Neji who answers "I was able to strike all of your chakra points, arresting the flow of your chakra."<br />
<br />
*'''WHAT?!'''<br />
**Who: Shizuku<br />
**Notes: One of the Gang of Four. Despairing over the loss of Kusuna, he spots Sakura and is punched hard into a tree. He tried to get up, but the injuries were fatal and he died.<br />
<br />
*'''SHIZUKU!'''<br />
**Who: Setsuna<br />
**Notes: With the rest of the Gang of Four weakened by Kusuna's loss, Setsuna cries this out to Shizuku and is bombarbed with kicks by Rock Lee, before being sent back down to the ground hard. A tree then crushes him to death.<br />
<br />
*'''A barrier, well.'''<br />
**Who: Yomi<br />
**Notes: An evil medical-nin who had been possessed by the demon Mōryō. He spots that Shion intended to seal Mōryō away, but Mōryō pierces through him to get in the barrier.<br />
<br />
*'''Now I see. Even your true power is heralded in that bell of yours!'''<br />
**Who: Mōryō<br />
**Notes: The demonic dragon who wanted to absorb Shion into himself and destroy the entire human world. When Shion wanted to resist him and use a suicidal technique, Mōryō knows her true power is in her bell. Then, Naruto frees Shion and the two use Naruto and Shion's Super Chakra Rasengan to vaporize the demon.<br />
<br />
====''[[w:Naruto Shippuden the Movie: Bonds|Naruto Shippuden the Movie: Bonds]]''====<br />
*'''Now that you kiddies have released the Zero-Tails from my control, I have no idea what will happen next!'''<br />
**Who: Dr. Shinno<br />
**Notes: As a false doctor who leads the Sky Ninja to spread chaos in order to awaken the Zero-Tailed Beast, Dr. Shinno is beaten by Naruto and Sasuke. The Zero-Tails then is spiraled out Shinno's control, and allows himself to die.<br />
<br />
====''[[w:Naruto Shippuden the Movie: The Will of Fire|Naruto Shippuden the movie: The Will of Fire]]''====<br />
*'''That's it?!''' ''[Rock Lee and Neji's combo attack breaks through Ichi's snakes]'' '''WHAT?!'''<br />
**Who: Ichi<br />
**Notes: One of Hiruko's followers who can use snakes like weapons. As he is fighting Team Guy, he gloats this while trying to unleash his snakes against Neji and Rock Lee, but the two use a combined attack to beat him. He is then used for San's Chimera Beast and eventually killed later on.<br />
<br />
*'''You think I'll be held by a mere pitfall?!''' [Shino: Is my presence THAT hard to see? ''[a swarm of insects appear in the pit around Ni]''] '''The bugs!'''<br />
**Who: Ni<br />
**Notes: One of Hiruko's followers who can use a Lion-Turtle and dog-like creatures. She believes Shino's plan won't work on her until he uses the beetle sphere on her to eat away at her skin. She is then used for San's Chimera Jutsu and later killed.<br />
<br />
*'''Chimera Jutsu!'''<br />
**Who: San<br />
**Notes: One of Hiruko's followers with the ability to summon a bird-like creature. He merges with Ichi and Ni, saying this and becomes the ferocious Chimera Beast. After a hard fight, the Konoha 11 defeat the beast and in turn, kill San.<br />
<br />
*'''Do you think... I could have... also had a bond... with my friend...?'''<br />
**Who: Hiruko<br />
**Notes: A missing-nin who wanted to assimilate all of the kekkei genkai to gain perfection. After he is defeated by the Wind Style: Rasen Shuriken, he has a final talk with Kakashi and question if he could've made bonds before dying.<br />
<br />
====''[[w:Naruto Shippuden the Movie: The Lost Tower|Naruto Shippuden the Movie: The Lost Tower]]''====<br />
*'''My plan... The Five Great Nations... This can't be happening, I was going to rewrite history! I won't... let it end like this! If I fall then so will you... ALL OF YOU WILL PERISH ALONG WITH THE LEY LINE!'''<br />
**Who: Anrokuzan/Mukade<br />
**Notes: A missing-nin from the Hidden Sand Village who hampered with the space-time continuum in the past to pose as the minister of Loran. With his plans ruined, Mukade/Anrokuzan self-destructs planning to melt down the Ley Line and kill everyone in the range.<br />
<br />
====''[[w:Naruto the Movie: Blood Prison|Naruto the Movie: Blood Prison]]''====<br />
*'''MUI!'''<br />
**Who: Kazan<br />
**Notes: A Hidden Hotsprings Village shinobi hired by Mui to carry out assassinations, Kazan had wanted to kill Mui personally. When Muku stabbed his own father, Kazan called out to his boss, rushed to attack Muku, but was bisected.<br />
<br />
*'''My son...'''<br />
**Who: Mui<br />
**Notes: The master of Hozuki Castle and Muku's father. After Satori is defeated, Mui cries tears for his son, then Muku kills his father with Feather Launching.<br />
<br />
*'''I'm sorry I didn't keep my promise to you. I wish I could have.. Oh I wish I could have... lived here with you and father, together in peace...'''<br />
**Who: Muku<br />
**Notes: Mui's son who had become the demon Satori, Muku kills his father, then commits suicide with the Fire Style: Demon Lantern. He then apologizes to Ryuzetsu before he burns himself alive and seals Satori away.<br />
<br />
*'''My name is Ryuzetsu, and I wish to offer my life. Naruto Uzumaki, you must live. This is a secret technique of my clan; Life Transference. I see this boy, Muku. He reminds me of you, when you were young. He's so small, and yet his spirit is immense. I have no doubt about Muku. This boy will be able to protect all the things that you and I wanted to protect. I'm glad I was able to see you once more at the end. Now, let me be your guiding light. Naruto, you must be the guiding light for your people, so that no one ever again gets lost, and has to feel such sorrow...'''<br />
**Who: Ryuzetsu<br />
**Notes: An ANBU from the Hidden Grass Village. In the aftermath of the battle with Satori, Ryuzetsu resurrects Naruto with the Life Transference and reminds him to be the guiding light of his friends. After this, she dies.<br />
<br />
====''[[w:Boruto: Naruto the Movie|Boruto: Naruto the Movie]]''====<br />
*'''Now, Lord Momoshiki. It seems the time has come to consume my chakra. Just as in the past, when my guardian entrusted me with their power, do not waiver.'''<br />
**Who: Kinshiki Otsutsuki<br />
**Notes: The father of Momoshiki who serves him, Kinshiki injures himself with a powerful blast to escape the Kage's captivity. He then implores his son to take his chakra and for him to not waiver. Momoshiki assures his father "I won't!" then turns him into a chakra pill to gain more power.<br />
<br />
*'''Why you? What have you done to me?!'''<br />
**Who: Momoshiki Otsutsuki<br />
**Notes: A member of the Otsutsuki clan who sought to gain absolute power from a chakra fruit. He is dumbfounded when Boruto uses a shadow clone to distract him, but Boruto then vaporizes him with a large Rasengan.<br />
<br />
===''Neon Genesis Evangelion'' films===<br />
====''[[w:The End of Evangelion|The End of Evangelion]]''====<br />
*'''Kaji, my love. I did do the right thing, didn't I?'''<br />
**Who: Misato Katuragi<br />
**Source: ''The End of Evangelion''<br />
**Note: Said after being mortally wounded by a gunshot, and before being killed by an explosion.<br />
<br />
*'''I'll kill you... I'll kill you... I'll kill you...'''<br />
**Who: Asuka Langley Soryu<br />
**Source: ''The End of Evangelion''<br />
**Note: Said before she and Evangelion Unit-02 are destroyed by the Mass Production Evangelions. She is revived at the very end of the film.<br />
<br />
*'''You liar.'''<br />
**Who: Ritsuko Akagi<br />
**Source: ''The End of Evangelion''<br />
**Note: Responds to an unintelligable remark by Gendo Ikari before he shoots and kills her.<br />
<br />
*'''That's it, ladies. Our mission is a complete failure.'''<br />
**Who: JSSDF soldier<br />
**Source: ''The End of Evangelion''<br />
**Note: Said at the start of the Third Impact.<br />
<br />
*'''Ikari, did you also get to see Yui again?'''<br />
**Who: Kozo Fuyutsuki<br />
**Source: ''The End of Evangelion''<br />
**Note: Said seeing a vision of Yui Ikari before being turned into LCL.<br />
<br />
*'''Ritsuko! Ritsuko! Ritsuko!'''<br />
**Who: Maya Ibuki<br />
**Source: ''The End of Evangelion''<br />
**Note: Said being embraced by a vision of Ritsuko Akagi, before being turned into LCL.<br />
<br />
*'''The beginning and the end are one and the same. All is right with the world.'''<br />
**Who: Keel Lorenz<br />
**Source: ''The End of Evangelion''<br />
**Note: Said before being turned into LCL.<br />
<br />
*'''And so this is my retribution. Forgive me, Shinji.'''<br />
**Who: Gendo Ikari<br />
**Source: ''The End of Evangelion''<br />
**Note: Said before his head if bitten off by a vision of Evangelion Unit-01.<br />
<br />
===Pokémon films===<br />
====Pokémon The First Movie: Mewtwo Strikes Back====<br />
* '''We dreamed of creating the world's strongest Pokémon... and we succeeded.'''<br />
** Who: Dr. Fuji<br />
** Note: After Mewtwo is enraged that he is going to be treated like an experiment, he blows up the lab after the doctor says this line.<br />
<br />
* '''You've got to stop right now! STOP!'''<br />
** Who: Ash Ketchum<br />
** Note: Ash, seeing how the battle concerning clones and real Pokémon was horrifying, and how Mewtwo refused to see that they were all living creatures, ran into the middle of the arena shouting this. Mewtwo and Mew, who were in battle, had already fired attacks at each other, and Ash was caught in the crossfire. He turned to stone, but was resurrected when Pokémon tears restored him.<br />
<br />
====Pokémon 3 the Movie – Spell of the Unown: Entei====<br />
*'''Molly. I must go now, Molly.''' [Molly: Entei, I'm gonna miss you.] '''And I will miss you. Just keep me close... in your dreams.'''<br />
** Who: Entei<br />
** Note: After defeating the uncontrollable Unown, Entei disappears while bidding farewell to Molly.<br />
<br />
====Pokémon: Lucario and the Mystery of Mew====<br />
* ''[sits down and receives damage]'' '''Lucario, forgive me.''' [Lucario: I do, Master.] '''Please understand. I had to seal you inside the staff. I knew if I didn't, you'd follow me here and suffer the same fate.''' ''[places his gloves down]'' '''I only wish you could have known the real story.''' [Lucario: ''[gasps]'' I understand!] '''One day, you will be released in a peaceful and more distant time. What would it be like? I wonder if-''' ''[takes damage and begins to disappear]'' '''I have no regrets. My journey has been good. I served a beautiful queen and you and I shared many adventures.''' ''[closing his eyes]'' '''Those memories will always be with me.''' [Lucario: Master! If you could only hear me, I want to tell you how much you mean to me.] '''Lucario, farewell.''' ''[Lucario gasps]'' '''You were more to me than just my student. You are my closest friend.''' [Lucario: I feel the same] '''Who knows? It could be... one day... we will see each other again.''' ''[a single tear falls]'' '''I hope so, my friend.''' ''[finally disappears]''<br />
** Who: Sir Aaron<br />
** Note: Said through a message to Lucario using a time flower after restoring Mew's power and sacrificing himself.<br />
<br />
* ''[cries]'' '''Aaron, my friend. I'm sorry I failed you.''' [Ash: ''[holding Lucario's paw]'' That's not true. You proved you're a true Guardian of Aura like Sir Aaron.] [Pikachu: Pika.] '''Thank you, Ash.''' ''[takes massive damage]'' [Ash: Lucario! Please, hang on! You can't leave us yet!] '''I have to go, Ash. Aaron is waiting for me.''' ''[finally disappears]''<br />
** Who: Lucario<br />
** Note: Lucario used his aura to save the Tree of Beginning, but sacrificed himself in the process.<br />
<br />
====Pokémon: The Rise of Darkrai====<br />
* '''STOP! This garden... is everyone's!'''<br />
** Who: Darkrai<br />
** Note: Said as it sacrificed itself to protect the town and everyone in it by battling Dialga and Palkia. After Palkia returned the town to the real world, Darkrai is shown to have been revived in the end.<br />
<br />
====Pokémon the Movie: White—Victini and Zekrom & Pokémon the Movie: Black—Victini and Reshiram====<br />
* '''The Sword of the Vale must not be moved. If the Sword of the Vale is moved once more, the Dragon Force will be disturbed, and that could destroy our entire world... which means the castle should never be moved again.'''<br />
** Who: King of the People of the Vale<br />
** Note: After moving his castle to the cliffside, he said this line to Victini before dying.<br />
<br />
====Pokémon: Diancie and the Cocoon of Destruction====<br />
* '''There is nothing to feel upset. You see, this is not death, this is the promise of life and the beginning of hope.'''<br />
** Who: Xerneas<br />
** Note: After using Geomancy, restoring Pikachu, the thieves, Team Rocket, and the Carbink to life, as well as restoring the entire forest to its original state, Xerneas begins to transform into a tree. It says this line to Diancie via its Fairy Aura.<br />
<br />
====Pokémon: Mewtwo Strikes Back—Evolution====<br />
* '''Creating the most powerful Pokémon in the world, it was our goal and ultimate dream!'''<br />
** Who: Dr. Fuji<br />
**Note: After Mewtwo is enraged that he is going to be treated like an experiment, he blows up the lab after the doctor says this line.<br />
<br />
* '''Will you guys stop?! KNOCK IT OFF!'''<br />
** Who: Ash Ketchum<br />
** Note: Ash, seeing how the battle concerning clones and real Pokémon was horrifying, and how Mewtwo refused to see that they were all living creatures, ran into the middle of the arena shouting this. Mewtwo and Mew, who were in battle had already fired attacks at each other, and Ash was caught in the crossfire. He turned to stone, but was resurrected when Pokémon tears restored him.<br />
<br />
====Pokémon: Secrets of the Jungle====<br />
* [Dr. Zed: Come on, you two, where is the data?!] '''We erased it!''' [Dr. Zed: But why?!] '''It's to protect them!''' [Dr. Zed: UNACCEPTABLE!]<br />
** Who: Dr. Chrom Molybden<br />
** Note: Chrom and his wife Rin were driving the car with their baby Al (Koko) while Dr. Zed was pursuing them. Zed ran them off the road and caused a fiery accident. They sent Al down a nearby river in a cradle to protect him. Dr. Zed stole their research on the Great Tree and left them perish when their wrecked car exploded.<br />
<br />
* '''Will you please forgive us?'''<br />
** Who: Dr. Rin Molybden<br />
** Note: Rin and her husband, Chrom, were injured in the fiery car accident caused by Dr. Zed. They sent Al down a nearby river in a cradle to protect him. Dr. Zed stole their research on the Great Tree and left them perish when their wrecked car exploded.<br />
<br />
===South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut===<br />
*'''Terrance!'''<br />
**Who: Philip<br />
**Source: ''[[South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut]]''<br />
**Note: Said when Sheila Broflovski, in a misguided effort to "protect" children from Terrance and Philip's blue-collar comedy, shot the latter; they are later revived by Satan upon Kenny wishing for the world to be restored to normal.<br />
<br />
*'''What have I done?'''<br />
**Who: Conan O'Brien<br />
**Source: ''South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut''<br />
**Note: Said when Terrance and Philip told Conan O'Brien he laughed at the Terrance and Philip movie and he commits suicide by jumping out of a window, landing on a car.<br />
<br />
*'''HA HA! YOU MISSED ME!'''<br />
**Who: Baldwin brothers<br />
**Source: ''South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut''<br />
**Note: Said when the Canadian air force bombed them. They missed one of them but another plane bombed the guy they missed.<br />
<br />
*'''Nothing! HA HA HA!'''<br />
**Who: Baldwin guy<br />
**Source: ''South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut''<br />
**Note: Said before the Canadian air force bombed the Baldwins. They missed one of them but another plane bombed the guy they missed.<br />
<br />
*'''WHAT?!'''<br />
*'''Goodbye, you guys.'''<br />
**Who: Kenny McCormick<br />
**Source: ''South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut''<br />
**Note: The first quote is Kenny's reaction after a group of doctors operate on him, replacing his heart with a baked potato; he immediately dies and ends up in Hell. The second comes when, after Saddam Hussein is destroyed, Satan offers Kenny a wish of his choice; Kenny requests that the world to be restored to the point before the Mothers Against Canada waged war against the northern country, despite knowing that this will cause his own death. He then says goodbye to his best friends; his unselfishness is rewarded when he ascends to Heaven for choosing to restore others to life.<br />
<br />
*'''La Resistance lives on.'''<br />
**Who: The Mole<br />
**Source: ''South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut''<br />
**Note: Those are the moles last words sung because Cartman didn't turn off the alarms thus the mole got torn up by attack dogs.<br />
<br />
*'''What are you waiting for, bitch? Destroy him!''' ''[Satan looks at Cartman, who stares back]'' '''Come on, you weak stupid cum-bucket, ''save me!''''' ['''Satan:''' ''[angrily]'' '''THAT'S IT!''' ''[picks up Saddam]'' '''''I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU!''''' ''[throws Saddam back into Hell]''] '''''AAAAAAAAAAAH! HEY, GUY, RELA-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A--''''' ''[gets impaled stalagmite and sighs in agony]''<br />
**Who: Saddam Hussein<br />
**Source: ''South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut''<br />
**Note: This version of Saddam Hussein is physically, emotionally, and mentally abusive toward Satan. When Eric Cartman is attacking Hussein, the dictator commands Satan to protect him; the Prince of Darkness, having been bolstered by Kenny McCormick's counseling, instead rebels against his cruelty and finally breaks free of his abusive relationship by hurling Hussein back to Hell, where he is impaled on a stalagmite.<br />
<br />
===''Scooby-Doo!'' Direct-to-video films===<br />
*'''Going somewhere? What's the matter, cat got your tongue?'''<br />
** Who: Jacques<br />
** Source: ''[[Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island]]'' (1998)<br />
<br />
*'''Jacques is in trouble!''' ('''Simone:''' Forget about him! They must be drained right now, while the moonlight is in the midnight alignment!<br />
** Who: Lena Dupree<br />
** Source: ''[[Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island]]'' (1998)<br />
<br />
*'''I've had enough of that meddling dog!''' ('''Scooby:''' Dog? Rhere?)<br />
** Who: Simone Lenore<br />
** Source: ''[[Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island]]'' (1998)<br />
<br />
===Studio Ghibli films===<br />
====''{{w|Castle in the Sky}}''====<br />
* '''I can only say, "Well done, Muska. You're a credit to our country". As such, you deserve this reward!''' <br />
** Who: General Muoro<br />
** Note: The general who worked with Muska to find Laputa. After Muska awakens Laputa's power, Muoro realizes his colonel has gone crazy and attempts to "reward" him with a gunshot but it's a hologram. Muska then drops the general and his soldiers to their deaths.<br />
<br />
* '''My eyes! I can't see! No! NOOOOOOOOO!'''<br />
** Who: Colonel Muska/Romuska Palo Ur Laputa<br />
** Note: As he demands the crystal amulet be given to him, Pazu and Sheeta instead say the spell of destruction. Its light blinds Muska as he says this before the structure he is standing on collapses and he falls to his death.<br />
<br />
====''{{w|Grave of the Fireflies}}''====<br />
* '''Setsuko...'''<br />
** Who: Seita<br />
** Note: On September 21, 1945, Seita dies of starvation in a train station among numerous others. Seita's spirit is soon reunited with his younger sister Setsuko in the afterlife. They board a ghostly train and, throughout the journey, look back at the events leading to Seita's death as silent, passive observers.<br />
<br />
* ''[Seita: Do you have your medicine?]'' '''Yes, right here.'''<br />
** Who: Seita and Setsuko's mother<br />
** Note: In March 1945, American [[w:Boeing B-29 Superfortress|Boeing B-29 Superfortress]] bombers destroy most of Kobe during the close of the {{w|Pacific War}}. Seita and his sister Setsuko manage to evade and survive the bombardments, but their mother has suffered severe third-degree burns all over her head and upper body and later dies.<br />
<br />
* '''Seita... Thank you.'''<br />
** Who: Setsuko<br />
** Note: After Setsuko suffers from malnutrition, Seita returns to Setsuko with food and finds her hallucinating. She dies as Seita finishes preparing the food. Seita cremates Setsuko's body and her doll in a straw casket. Seita and Setsuko's spirits, healthy and content, arrive at their destination: a hilltop bench overlooking present-day [[w:Kobe|Kobe]], surrounded by fireflies.<br />
<br />
====''{{w|Pom Poko}}''====<br />
* '''Fire burning brightly!... Water flowing swiftly!'''<br />
** Who: Gyoubu Inugami<br />
** Note: Gyoubu is actively involved in the plan Operation Specter, and creates many spectacular illusions of monsters, ghosts and gods that terrify and enchant the people of New Tama, although the latter effect was not what he had intended. He uses up so much mental energy that he has a heart attack and dies.<br />
<br />
* '''Now!'''<br />
** Who: Gonta Takagamori<br />
** Note: Increasingly frustrated by every failure to drive the humans out, Gonta rallies a small band and takes matters into his own hands. The army launches a kamikaze attack on the police and fights fiercely and bravely. Beaten but not discouraged, Gonta recovers and rallies his army once more. They fuse into a ''tsurube-otoshi'' and bounce onto a highway in an attempt to block traffic. They wreck car roofs and stand in the path of an uncoming truck. The truck runs through the fusion, splitting it in half, and Gonta and his peers are killed almost instantly.<br />
<br />
* '''Well... I guess we're no match for the humans.'''<br />
** Who: Red Army.<br />
** Note: All the Tanuki involved in the above eco-terrorism attempt - except for Gonta - say this before dying.<br />
<br />
====''[[Princess Mononoke]]''====<br />
* '''Disgusting little creatures. Soon, all of you will feel my hate, and suffer as I have suffered.'''<br />
** Who: Nago<br />
** Note: A boar god who became a demon after being shot by Lady Eboshi, he goes on a rampage, and then is shot to death by an arrow from Ashitaka.<br />
<br />
* '''Ashitaka, can you save the girl you love?'''<br />
** Who: Moro<br />
** Note: Moro saves San from being consumed by Okkoto, who had turned into a demon. The Forest Spirit then comes and takes her life away.<br />
<br />
===The Swan Princess films===<br />
====''[[The Swan Princess]]''====<br />
* [Derek: ''[to the sky in angst]'' I made a vow for her. DO YOU HEAR?! THE VOW I MADE WAS FOR HER!] ''[appears out of nowhere]'' '''No need to shout.''' [Derek: ''[turns around to notice Rothbart standing far behind him, then furiously walks toward him]'' Don't let her die.] '''Is that a threat?''' [Derek: ''[grabbing Rothbart's collar]'' Don't you DARE let her die!] '''Ohhh, it is a threat.''' [Derek: You're the only one with the power. Now, DO IT!] ''[He knocks Derek to the ground]'' [Last Words] '''Only if you DEFEAT me.'''<br />
** Who: Rothbart<br />
** Source: ''[[The Swan Princess]]'' (1994)<br />
** Note: Rothbart transforms turns into bat, and Prince Derek killed him by shooting an arrow quiver into his heart and sent him plunging into splash water Swan Lake, exploding disappear.<br />
<br />
====''[[The Swan Princess: Escape from Castle Mountain]]''====<br />
* '''Bye-bye, Birdie!'''<br />
** Who: Knuckles <br />
** Source: ''[[The Swan Princess: Escape from Castle Mountain]]'' (1997)<br />
** Note: Before Derek cuts the rope holding the gondola up to swing on it and sent Knuckles falling into the lava.<br />
<br />
* '''NOOOO!'''<br />
** Who: Clavius<br />
** Source: ''[[The Swan Princess: Escape from Castle Mountain]]'' (1997) <br />
** Note: As the orb from the Forbidden Arts crashes onto the floor and causes the entire mountain to erupt massive amounts of molten lava, the eruption kills Clavius while Prince Derek, Princess Odette and the others escape using Clavius' hot air balloon. <br />
<br />
====''[[The Swan Princess: The Mystery of the Enchanted Kingdom]]''====<br />
* '''Bye, Derek.''' [Whizzer: ''[in Rothbart's voice]'' Hello, Zelda.] '''Rothbart? You're alive?''' [Whizzer: ''[in Rothbart's voice]'' Amazing, isn't it? ''[laughing]'' Thank you for... recovering the Forbidden Arts. But now, you're through. Tell you what though. I'll give a chance, to run.] '''Traitor!''' [Derek: Zelda!] <br />
** Who: Zelda<br />
** Source: ''[[The Swan Princess III: The Mystery of the Enchanted Treasure]]'' (1998)<br />
** Note: Before Prince Derek breaks her wand and pushes her into the fire trap she created to imprison Princess Odette in and destroyed her completely.<br />
<br />
* '''Puffin!'''<br />
** Who: Odette<br />
** Source: ''[[The Swan Princess III: The Mystery of the Enchanted Treasure]]'' (1998)<br />
** Note: As Zelda sends out a Seeker spell to destroy Odette, she and Puffin escape. Odette gets tangled in vines and is hit by the spell. She is brought back to life when Derek burns the notes.<br />
<br />
====''[[The Swan Princess: A Royal Family Tale]]''====<br />
* '''Run, my girl! Run!'''<br />
** Who: Alise's Father<br />
** Source: ''[[The Swan Princess: A Royal Family Tale]]''<br />
<br />
===Tad, the Lost Explorer films===<br />
====''[[w:Tad, The Lost Explorer|Tad, the Lost Explorer]]''====<br />
*'''Nooooo!'''<br />
**Who: Kopponen<br />
<br />
*'''What? No, no! Who do you think you are talking to? You can't do that. I'm Max Mordon, I am the most famous archaeologist in the world! No! No! Nooooooooo!'''<br />
**Who: Max Mordon<br />
<br />
====''[[w:Tad the Lost Explorer and the Secret of King Midas|Tad, the Lost Explorer and the Secret of King Midas]]''====<br />
*'''No, I can't...You...You are an arrogant bully, uncool and very cheap! I'm sorry! And you're also a daddy's boy. Oh! And your feet stiiiiiiiink!'''<br />
**Who: Rackham's henchman<br />
<br />
*'''Total pro. Aaaah! Don't forget me!'''<br />
**Who: Rackham's henchwoman<br />
<br />
*'''What did you accomplish? Say goodbye to her.'''<br />
*'''Nooooo!'''<br />
**Who: Jack Rackham<br />
<br />
===Universal animated films===<br />
''See also [[Last words in Universal animated films]].''<br />
<br />
===Warner Bros. animated films===<br />
''See also [[Last words in Warner Bros. animated films]].''<br />
<br />
===Rankin/Bass films===<br />
*'''What's going on out there?'''<br />
**Who: Aaron's Father<br />
**Source: The Little Drummer Boy (1968)<br />
**Note: Aaron's father was killed by one of the bandits, who stole their sheep, by throwing a dagger at him.<br />
<br />
*[Aaron: ''[shocked]'' Father!] '''You must run, my son. Escape!''' [Aaron: But-] '''Run!'''<br />
**Who: Aaron's Mother<br />
**Source: The Little Drummer Boy (1968)<br />
**Note: After Aaron's father was killed by the bandits, his mother urges his son to escape along with his animal friends, Joshua the camel, Samson the donkey, and Baa Baa the lamb, just in time before the bandits burned the house to the ground. His mother was killed by the fire along with his father's dead body. Aaron began to hate humans after his parents' tragic deaths.<br />
<br />
*'''The sun?! Blast it!'''<br />
**Who: Troll 1<br />
**Source: The Hobbit (1977)<br />
<br />
*'''H--how did the morning... come so soon?!'''<br />
**Who: Troll 3<br />
**Source: The Hobbit (1977)<br />
<br />
*'''We're done for!'''<br />
**Who: Troll 2<br />
**Source: The Hobbit (1977)<br />
<br />
*'''I know that sword! It is called "Glamdring", the Foe Hammer! No!'''<br />
**Who: The Goblin King<br />
**Source: The Hobbit (1977)<br />
<br />
*'''Barrel rider! Thieving Lakemen! Your people shall see my vengeance!'''<br />
**Who: Smaug<br />
**Source: The Hobbit (1977)<br />
<br />
*[Bilbo Baggins: ''[worried]'' Bombur! You're hurt!] '''I still live. And you?''' [Bilbo Baggins: A slight wound, crack on the head. Out for hours. What happened?] '''We won.'''<br />
*Who: Bombur<br />
**Source: The Hobbit (1977)<br />
<br />
*[Gandalf: I have brought him.] '''Farewell. good thief. I wish to part in friendship and would take back my words at the gate.''' [Bilbo Baggins: ''[guilty and sympathetically]'' There were many words I would take back also.] '''And does it take this to make us to see each other?''' [Bilbo Baggins: Thorin...] '''Hush. You are no coward, my friend. I am sorry I so named you.''' [Bilbo Baggins: This is not important.] '''I was wrong. You did understand war. It was I who did not until now.''' [Bilbo Baggins: Farewell, King Under the Mountain.] '''Child of the kindly West, I have come to know, if more of us valued your ways, food and cheer above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. But sad or merry, I must leave it now. Farewell.''' ''[dies]'' [Bilbo Baggins: ''[tearfully]'' Farewell, Thorin.]<br />
*Who: Thorin<br />
**Source: The Hobbit (1977)<br />
<br />
*'''Not so fast! I still have my scepter. Destruction to you all!''' [Lilly Loraine: ''[takes out her iron guns, pointing them at Winterbolt]'' This one looks like my job!] [Laine Loraine: But Mama, they are only blanks in those guns.] [Lilly Loraine: ''[smiles, while spinning her guns]'' Yeah, but the guns are made of iron. ''[throws her guns at Winterbolt's ice scepter, shattering it into pieces]''] '''No... NOOOOO! My... my powers are gone! When my scepter dies, I go too. I turn... I turn, turn...! I turn... into a... tree.'''<br />
**Who: Winterbolt<br />
**Source: Rudolph and Frosty's Christmas in July (1979)<br />
**Note: Winterbolt arrives to kill the heroes with his icy scepter, but Lily Lorraine, owner of the Circus by the Sea, uses her twin pistols to shoot the scepter with iron bullets, causing the scepter to break into icy pieces, which also causes Winterbolt to die and transforms himself into a scary-looking tree, thus ending his evil powers.<br />
<br />
*''[laughing]'' '''Never! The west has failed! It is time for all to depart this life... who would not be slaves. Servants! Come hither!'''<br />
**Who: Denethor<br />
**Source: The Return of the King (1980)<br />
<br />
*''[sobbing in fright]'' '''Mercy! Mercy!''' [Samwise Gamgee: I'll think about it. I have some questions, filthy one.] '''Yes? I'll tell you anything!''' [Samwise Gamgee: The Hobbit, Frodo, is he still alive?] '''If anything still lives here, he does.''' [Samwise Gamgee: What happened here? Why all this carnage?] '''Our captains made battle and ordered us to fight also.''' [Samwise Gamgee: What was in contest?] '''The Hobbit's pretty coat, when he reveals its hiding place.''' [Samwise Gamgee: You killed each other for that blasted cloak? Well, I have it, not Frodo.] ''[surprised]'' '''You?!''' ''[angrily]'' '''You're just a ''Hobbit''! Give me the coat!''' [Samwise Gamgee: Get back!] '''Uh... NOOOO! NOOOOOOO!'''<br />
**Who: Orc 1<br />
**Source: The Return of the King (1980)<br />
<br />
*'''Fear no darkness, snowmane! No, snowmane! No!'''<br />
**Who: Théoden<br />
**Source: The Return of the King (1980)<br />
<br />
*[Eowyn: Begone, foul Dwimmerlaik, Lord of Carrion. Leave the dead in peace. Come not between the Nazgûl and his prey or he will slay thee in turn. Do what you will. I will hinder it, if I may.] '''Hinder me? Thou fool! Dost thou not know the prophecy? No living man may hinder me!''' [Eowyn: But no living man am I. You look upon a woman. ''[removes her helmet]'' Eowyn, am I. You stand between me and my Lord and kin. Begone for living, or dark undead I will smite you if you touch him.]<br />
**Who: The Witch-king of Angmar<br />
**Source: The Return of the King (1980)<br />
<br />
*''[laughing]'' '''Precious! Precious! Oh, my Precious! Ohhh! My... Precious!''' [Samwise Gamgee: Oh, my master, your poor hand! Oh, my master!] [Frodo Baggins: 'Tis better this way. 'Tis better than that madness. Look!] '''Mine! Yah! Yah! My ring! Mine! Mine, mine, mine! My ring!''' ''[slips and falls into the lava]'' '''Aaaaahhh! Precious...!'''<br />
**Who: Gollum<br />
**Source: The Return of the King (1980)<br />
<br />
*'''No! No! Christmas morning! Too late, too late! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!'''<br />
**Who: Old Mag the Hag<br />
**Source: The Leprechauns' Christmas Gold (1981)<br />
**Note: Old Mag dissolves into tears by the Christmas morning sun before she could steal the leprechauns' gold.<br />
<br />
*'''THE LAST! I KNEW YOU WERE THE LAST! AAAAAAHH!''' ''[laughs evilly]''<br />
**Who: King Haggard<br />
**Source: The Last Unicorn (1982)<br />
**Note: As the Unicorn (Amalthea) and her new entire kind are destroying his castle after defeating the Red Bull that killed his adoptive son Prince Lir, King Haggard realizes that she is the last one and shouts his words to her before he falls to the sea below.<br />
<br />
===Anime films===<br />
*'''Thank God.'''<br />
**Who: Lastel<br />
**Source: ''[[Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind|Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (film)]]''<br />
**Note: Is mortally wounded after a Pejite refugee ship she's on crashes. She is found by Nausicaa and asks if the cargo the ship was carrying (the Giant Warrior) was burned. Nausicaa doesn't know about the giant warrior and assures her that everything has been destroyed.<br />
<br />
*'''Obaba, quickly hide yourself.'''<br />
**Who: King Jihl<br />
**Source: ''[[Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind|Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (film)]]''<br />
**Note: Shot by Tolmekian soldiers when he draws his sword on them.<br />
<br />
*'''No, that's-! Ooooh...!'''<br />
**Who: Clown biker<br />
**Source: ''[[Akira]]''<br />
**Note: Says this trying to warn his friend about taking a wrong turn but he crashes. This biker then wipes out trying to escape Tetsuo who fatally clubs his head. Tetsuo then taunts "How do you like that?!" before he eventually crashes into Takashi setting the events in motion.<br />
<br />
*'''You son of a bitch!'''<br />
**Who: Yamagata<br />
**Source: ''[[Akira]]''<br />
**Note: Says this as he confronts Tetsuo, who kills him off-screen.<br />
<br />
*'''You bastard! You sold me out!'''<br />
**Who: Nezu<br />
**Source: ''Akira''<br />
**Note: Character's last spoken words before dying of a heart attack in a later scene.<br />
<br />
*'''Kei...'''<br />
**Who: Ryu<br />
**Source: ''Akira''<br />
**Note: Says this as he is shot by Nezu; he later succumbs to his gunshot wounds.<br />
<br />
*'''What's going on here? AAAHHH! Disappearing! It's disappearing! AAAAAHHHHH!'''<br />
**Who: Doctor Onishi<br />
**Source: ''Akira''<br />
**Note: Says this as he is surprised that the power of Akira is unleashing power that destroys Neo-Tokyo, and then he is killed as his research laboratory is destroyed by the explosion.<br />
<br />
*'''HELP ME!'''<br />
**Who: Kaori<br />
**Source: ''Akira''<br />
**Note: Says this before she gets engulfed by Tetsuo from his abnormal mutations, and she gets violently crushed by Tetsuo's inner organs.<br />
<br />
*'''That kid's the bait. It'll be our window when he's jumped...'''<br />
**Who: Hell House Bike Gang Leader.<br />
**Source: ''Bagi, The Monster of Mighty Nature''<br />
**Note: Says this after sending Ryosuke to lure out the monster that attacked the Hell House gang the night before. Suddenly, the enigmatic Bagi bursts through the floor boards of her hideaway and presumably mauls the gang leader to death.<br />
<br />
*'''No wait! I yield to the better man. Please have mercy on me-!'''<br />
**Who: Bazuso<br />
**Source: Berserk: Golden Age Arc I - The Egg of the King<br />
**Notes: Beaten in battle, Bazuso pleads this to Guts before he drives his sword into his brain.<br />
<br />
*'''That fool. He's gonna fight us all by himself?! As he wishes. I'll trample him to dust!'''<br />
**Who: Gien<br />
**Source: Berserk: Golden Age Arc I - The Egg of the King<br />
**Notes: The commander of Chuder's Black Sheep Iron Lance Heavy Cavalry, Gien charges at Guts for charging alone, but is easily cut down along with his cavalry unit.<br />
<br />
*'''I... know you! You're one of Griffith's... one of Griffith's... men!'''<br />
**Who: Julius<br />
**Source: Berserk: Golden Age Arc I - The Egg of the King<br />
**Who: After failing to assassinate Griffith on a hunting trip, Julius is confronted in his home by Guts and is cut open. He dies after recognizing his killer.<br />
<br />
*'''Mmm, such pride. I wonder how proud you'll be after I have my way with you, right here in front of your own men? I'm going to show you the true joys of being a woman, and I'll start by tasting that sweet, soft skin of yours!'''<br />
**Who: Adon Coborlwitz<br />
**Source: Berserk: Golden Age Arc II - The Battle for Doldrey<br />
**Notes: Cornering Casca in the Doldrey castle, Adon believes he can pleasure the girl in front of her troops, but Casca takes his own sword and pierces him through the mouth.<br />
<br />
*'''Now then, Captain of the RAIDERS!'''<br />
**Who: Boscogn<br />
**Source: Berserk: Golden Age Arc II - The Battle for Doldrey<br />
**Notes: On the field of Doldrey, Boscogn duels with Guts and just before he can deviler a fatal blow, Guts decapitates him.<br />
<br />
*'''Oh! Griffith! I've waited so long! Come here. Let's have a loot at you, come closer! Oh ho ho ho! Those eyes. Your gaze is the same as it was that night. What's wrong? Why are you so quiet? We may be on opposite sides of the war, but not a day has gone by that I haven't thought of you, that I haven't looked for your shadow. Do you understand what I am trying to say?''' ''[Griffith moves back on his horse]'' '''Griffith? Huh? Uh, but that look, why? Don't tell me that you resent me, now, do you?''' [Griffith: I do not bare you any ill will, your grace. The fact is quite the opposite. For you see; By using you, I was able provide for hundreds of my subordinates, and they did not have to risk their lives on the battlefield. So you could argue that we all owe you our lives.] '''Griffith, but you're...''' [Griffith: For those soldiers who share my dream, there is only one thing I can do for them: And that is to keep on winning. Yes, that's why I will do whatever is needed. You were merely a stone lying by the side of the path I chose to travel. Nothing more, and nothing less.] '''Grr... YOU BASTARD!'''<br />
**Who: Gennon<br />
**Source: Berserk: Golden Age Arc II - The Battle for Doldrey<br />
**Notes: A Chuder commander who is also a pedophile who desired for Griffith. After Doldrey is taken, Gennon believes he can win Griffith over but is told he was used as a pawn for the capture of Doldrey. Angry at being used, Gennon tries to take his frustration out, but Griffith drives his sword into Gennon's eye, killing him instantly.<br />
<br />
*'''Run while you still can. You need to survive!'''<br />
**Who: Pippin<br />
**Source: Berserk: Golden Age Arc III - The Advent<br />
**Notes: With the Band of the Hawk warped to the Interstice by Griffith, who planned to feed the Hawks to the God Hand to achieve godhood, Pippin attempts to buy time for Casca and Judeau to escape, but is overwhelmed and killed. His corpse is then eaten to catch Guts off guard.<br />
<br />
*'''I'm dreaming. The whole thing, is just an awful nightmare. I'm probably just passed out at the pub again. Judeau? Pippin? Rickert? Please... wake me up!''' ''[spots a naked woman fondling herself]'' '''Ah ha, a woman in hell? On second thought. Don't wake me up just yet.''' ''[begins to fondle her, not knowing she's actually an Apostle]'' '''Goddamn. Why is it that a guy like me? Oh shit!'''<br />
**Who: Corkus<br />
**Source: Berserk: Golden Age Arc III - The Advent<br />
**Notes: During the Eclipse, Corkus, injured by the Apostles begins to think it's all a bad dream, and spots a nude woman. He fondles and doesn't realize she's actually an apostle that eats his head.<br />
<br />
*'''That's always been my problem. I'm all talk.''' [Casca: Take the strength your using to move your mouth and focus on moving your legs. You need to walk.] '''This is it. There are so many things I wanted to tell you. Me, a smooth talker.'''<br />
**Who: Judeau<br />
**Source: Berserk: Golden Age Arc III - The Advent<br />
**Notes: Whilst protecting Casca, Judeau is injured by the Apostles. He admits he's more less help than Guts, before thinking of the things he wanted to tell Casca, and drawing his dying breath.<br />
<br />
*'''Hikage...'''<br />
**Who: Marou<br />
**Source: Blood Reign: Curse of the Yoma, part 2: Marou with Crazy Fang<br />
**Notes: A ninja who has transcended into a Yōma. After Hikage defeats him in his monstrous centaurian Yōma form, Marou is run through and slowly reverts to his human form. He says this and collapses dead on the spot. However, Kotone's ghost gives up her life-force to hope he will lead a better life anew.<br />
<br />
*'''Press my reset button...'''<br />
**Who: Lee Sampson<br />
**Source: Cowboy Bebop: The Movie<br />
**Notes: A computer hacker on the payroll of Vincent Volaju. When Vincent shows orbs containing nanomachines, he shoots the orb and infects Lee. When Faye tries to get him medical attention, Lee says this and dies of the nanomachines instantly.<br />
<br />
*'''Elektra. Of the days that I had lived, only those... I spent with you... seemed real. Now that's over, I can see your face... so clearly.'''<br />
**Who: Vincent Volaju<br />
**Source: Cowboy Bebop: The Movie<br />
**Notes: A former experimented soldier who fought on Titan. He tried to spread nanomachines to infect everyone on Mars. After he is mortally wounded by his lover Elektra, he admits there was no doorway to heaven. As Vincent dies, he accepts his love for her and that the days they spent together were real.<br />
<br />
*'''This is our last meeting; So watch as your precious world is reduced to a scene of ruin and chaos.'''<br />
**Who: Rebi Ra<br />
**Source: Demon City Shinjuku<br />
**Notes: The demonic swordsman, Rebi Ra says this thinking his victory for the demons is imminent when he intends to sacrifice Sayaka paving the way for the demons to enter the human world. Fortunately, Mephisto extricate Sayaka while Kyoya hits the villain with a powerful blast from his father Genichirou's weapon Ashura, destroying Rebi Ra completely and avenging the father's death.<br />
<br />
*'''Luca... Your mother, she's still alive. You need to... find her... You have to...'''<br />
**Who: Pankraz<br />
**Source: Dragon Quest: Your Story<br />
**Notes: Luca's father. At the beginning of the story, Ladja burns Pankraz who is trying to save his son. Before dying, Pankraz says these to his son before collapsing dead.<br />
<br />
*'''I can feel it! The entire continent is covered by a magic circle! Now you die, Fiore!''' ''[The Dragon Cry staff goes out of control]'' '''The staff! No, it can't be!'''<br />
**Who: Zash Caine<br />
**Source: Fairy Tail: Dragon Cry<br />
**Notes: Character says this confident that with the Dragon Cry's power, he will obliterate Fiore, but it goes out of control and wipes him out completely.<br />
<br />
*'''Sweet, Sonya. This is the first time I've seen your smile. It's beautiful.'''<br />
**Who: Animus<br />
**Source: Fairy Tail: Dragon Cry<br />
**Notes: Character says this after his defeat and the Dragon Cry is destroyed. He says this in delight over Sonya smiling at him before ceasing to exist.<br />
<br />
*'''Lord... Laocorn...'''<br />
**Who: Panni<br />
**Source: Fatal Fury: The Motion Picture<br />
**Notes: Said after Mai hits her in the breast with her Chou Hissatsu Shinobi-Bachi attack, killing her instantly.<br />
<br />
*'''How... could... such a...?''' ''[tries to get up, but coughs up blood and dies from injuries]''<br />
**Who: Hauer<br />
**Source: Fatal Fury: The Motion Picture<br />
**Notes: Said after Andy slaps him to the ground and strikes a pose.<br />
<br />
*'''With that much power out there, we were both going to die. If... If one of us is going to live, it should be the one who can... save Laocorn. Terry Bogard, you are the one who can save him.''' ''[coughs up blood]'' '''You must defeat him for Sulia's sake. Please, Terry, you must...'''<br />
**Who: Jamin<br />
**Source: Fatal Fury: The Motion Picture<br />
**Notes: Said after holding back his Boost Knuckle to allow Terry's Burn Knuckle to mortally wound him. After bidding Terry to save Laocorn, he dies.<br />
<br />
*'''I... I need to tell you. I...'''<br />
**Who: Sulia Gaudeamus<br />
**Source: Fatal Fury: The Motion Picture<br />
**Notes: Character says this having sacrificed herself to help defeat her twin brother, Laocorn. Terry affirms he loves her too, then kisses her before she passes away.<br />
<br />
*'''SULIA!'''<br />
**Who: Laocorn Gaudeamus<br />
**Source: Fatal Fury: The Motion Picture<br />
**Notes: After being defeated, he shields both Mai and Andy from the living incarnation of Mars, crying this out to Sulia before being vaporized.<br />
<br />
*'''Go see if you got him this time.'''<br />
**Who: Lt. Bob Bragan<br />
**Source: Golgo 13: The Professional<br />
**Notes: While in San Francisco, Bragan orders full pursuit of Golgo 13 who had killed a Nazi-SS captain Bernhart Mueller, who was hiding under the alias Don Hughes. At the end of a high-speed chase, Bragan destroys Golgo's car and orders his men to check if he's dead. But Golgo takes out Bragan's men, then Bragan who uses his last ounce of strength to try and shoot Golgo through the heart.<br />
<br />
*'''I'll kill Golgo 13...!'''<br />
**Who: Snake<br />
**Source: Golgo 13: The Profesisonal<br />
**Notes: The Pentagon's sadistic assassin. While molesting Laura, Robert Dawson's wife, he announces his intentions to kill Golgo 13 to her. These are his last known words here. Later, as Golgo 13 makes his siege of Dawson's tower, Snake ambushes the assassin in an elevator resulting in Golgo using Snake for a human shield while a helicopter gunship kills Snake.<br />
<br />
*'''Father... please forgive me for having to leave my last message like this. I swear it'll be my first, and only opposition to you. Father, thank you for the enormous love you gave me for 29 years. I still remember my sixth birthday, when you baked the only cake you ever made for me. It was delicious. I also remember my high school graduation, where you cried the only tears you ever shed for me. It was very grateful. And thank you so much for you all your kindness to my wife Laura, and my daughter Emily. Father... I know you have such terribly high hopes for me, and being incapable of fulfilling those hopes, and having to push them away caused me terrible pain. Because you see, Father... I couldn't even have the courage to put an end my own life. So I have decided to ask someone else to kill me. I believe... that he will do a good job. To my great father, the Emperor of Petroleum, Leonard Dawson. From your disobedient son, Robert.''' <br />
**Who: Robert Dawson<br />
**Source: Golgo 13: The Profesisonal<br />
**Notes: Leonard Dawson's beloved son and would-have-been successor to the Dawson company. At the opening of the movie, Robert is shot dead by Golgo 13. Near the end, Robert's words on his suicide note are heard in Leonard's mind while his father falls to his death meaning Robert actually wanted Golgo 13 to assassinate him over the depression that he will not be a worthy successor.<br />
<br />
*'''Kenichi... Who am I-I?'''<br />
**Who: Tima<br />
**Source: ''Metropolis''<br />
**Note: Tima, a robot, is referring to an earlier scene where the young protagonist, Kenichi, was teaching her to speak. Tima falls from the exploding Ziggurat after saying this line.<br />
<br />
*'''Why must humans always resort to violence as a means of settling their differences?'''<br />
**Who: "Pero"<br />
**Source: ''Metropolis''<br />
**Note: "Pero", a robot detective, asks this question to the leader of a human rebellion against Metropolis' wealthy elite. After the leader tries to answer the question, he shoots and destroys Pero.<br />
<br />
*'''I won't let pieces of junk-like all of you-take the life of my father.'''<br />
**Who: Rock<br />
**Source: ''Metropolis''<br />
**Note: Says this while confronting a mob of revolting robots who are attacking his father, Duke Red. Rock then sets off the Ziggurat's self-destruct mechanism, killing them all.<br />
<br />
*'''Kagero! Go back and report this to the chamberlain... while you still can!'''<br />
**Who: Hanza<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Ninja Scroll|Ninja Scroll]]''<br />
**Note: During the infiltration of the plagued Shimoda village going wrong, Hanza is grabbed by one of the Devils of Kimone, Tessai. Hanza warns this to Kagero, his partner, before his arms are ripped off. Zakuro then uses him as an explosive booby trap blasting him to pieces.<br />
<br />
*'''A very skillful attack, but you must realize I can't be cut!'''<br />
**Who: Tessai<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Ninja Scroll|Ninja Scroll]]''<br />
**Note: The stone golem-themed member of the Devils of Kimon. During his fight with Jubei, he says this referring to his rock-hard body which Jubei replies "So it seems". But then, Tessai's body begins to break apart from Kagero's poison when he tried to molest her earlier. Jubei taunts "Hey, what's the matter, monster? Your skin appears to be falling apart". Tessai angrily throws his twin bladed sword, and Jubei cuts him with blinding speed, then the golem ninja is pierced through the brain by his own sword. Before dying, Tessai had caught Jubei's image in his palm.<br />
<br />
*'''Please, Jubei. Forgive me.''' [Jubei: SHINKURO!] '''His word is... THE LAW!''' <br />
**Who: Shinkuro<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Ninja Scroll|Ninja Scroll]]''<br />
**Note: Years ago, Genma ordered him and the others to kill another to cover the location of the gold mine. Shinkuro regretfully told Jubei this, before the latter killed him and the other ninjas. This left Jubei the only survivor of the incident.<br />
<br />
*'''Her sting is most deadly.'''<br />
**Who: Benisato<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Ninja Scroll|Ninja Scroll]]''<br />
**Note: She ambushes Jubei and questions him if there is anyone else investigating the village other than himself. Kagero sneaks behind her and orders her to dismiss her snakes. As one of the snakes bites the kunoichi, Benisato says this never knowing Kagero is immune to her poison. After Benisato silently dismisses her snakes, Kagero tries to interrogate her, but Yurimaru electrocutes her with a wire around her neck, silencing her.<br />
<br />
*'''How far can he possibly swim? He'll have to give up soon.'''<br />
**Who: Mushizo<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Ninja Scroll|Ninja Scroll]]''<br />
**Note: Jubei swims underwater hoping to dodge Mushizo's wasps. The bee demon ninja says this wondering if he'll resurface and be stung to death or drown. Jubei knocks him into the water, and Mushizo tries to use a throat needle on him, but the bees trying to escape the water to get air, kill him from within.<br />
<br />
*'''It can't be...'''<br />
**Who: Utsutsu Mujuro<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Ninja Scroll|Ninja Scroll]]''<br />
**Note: He engages Jubei in a bamboo forest using his sword to make up for his blindness. With the aid of Kagero, Jubei runs Utsutsu through who says this in regret before dropping dead.<br />
<br />
*'''You are difficult to kill, Ninja. Woman, relieve him of his pain.'''<br />
**Who: Shijima<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Ninja Scroll|Ninja Scroll]]''<br />
**Note: In a deserted building, he puppeteers Kagero and commands this to her. But Jubei runs his sword into the shadow, running Shijima through his back and killing him instantly. <br />
<br />
*'''Do you feel the agony, Jubei?'''<br />
**Who: Yurimaru<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Ninja Scroll|Ninja Scroll]]''<br />
**Note: The electricity member of the Devils of Kimon, he attempts to electrocute Jubei in a small building taunting this. But Jubei cuts himself free and Yurimaru is blown up by an explosive rat planted by Zakuro. After this, Zakuro calls him "Queen of the Devils".<br />
<br />
*'''Oh, Jubei. I'm so glad I met you. And I'm... I'm happy I...'''<br />
**Who: Kagero<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Ninja Scroll|Ninja Scroll]]''<br />
**Note: The Koga ninja lased with poisoned lips and immunity to poisons. Gravely injured by Genma who had disguised himself as Sakaki Hyobu, whom he had murdered days ago, Kagero has enough strength to use her poison to neutralize the poison that would have killed Jubei. She dies with a smile after saying this to him. Jubei sends her body away on a funeral boat.<br />
<br />
*'''Ruined your plans?'''<br />
**Who: Zakuro<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Ninja Scroll|Ninja Scroll]]''<br />
**Note: Zakuro says this after extinguishing Dakuan's candle, but Jubei Kibagami takes another candle and says "Not at all!" then uses it to ignite the fuel and her gunpowder, setting the ship on a path to explosion and sinking.<br />
<br />
*'''I can't DIE!'''<br />
**Who: Himuro Genma<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Ninja Scroll|Ninja Scroll]]''<br />
**Note: Genma gloats on his self-regeneration as he tries to pummel Jubei during their final battle. Soon, he is reduced to a lifeless golden statue as Jubei tells him to "burn in [his] golden hell".<br />
<br />
*'''If Lou's power is an indication of the Ide... Oh why? Why do you lead so many people to their death?! Shouldn't your duty be to allow life to live?! Oh, Ide!'''<br />
**Who: Sheryl Formosa<br />
**Source: ''Space Runaway Ideon: Be Invoked''<br />
**Notes: She first invokes the Ide by placing Piper Lou in danger as Cosmo fires the Wave Leader Gun. The result fatally blasts Sheryl off the Solo Ship.<br />
<br />
*'''I once tried to kill Miss Karala before. But, now, I'll never let another person kill her!'''<br />
**Who: Banda Lotta<br />
**Source: ''Space Runaway Ideon: Be Invoked''<br />
**Notes: When confronted by Haralu and her bodyguards, she vows to keep Karala alive, but is gunned down by Kilarul.<br />
<br />
*'''If you're going to say that, then I will kill my sister and give birth to my baby! The child of the Logo Dau alien, Bes!'''<br />
**Who: Karala Ajiba<br />
**Source: ''Space Runaway Ideon: Be Invoked''<br />
**Notes: During the fight on the Solo Ship, Haralu tries to drive her sister to defeat the Logo Dau aliens. Karala says this and fires a missed shot. This causes Haralu to fire three times fatally piercing Karala.<br />
<br />
*'''I was hit by Karala's father. I'm bleeding pretty bad. In any case, it looks like the Ide has abandoned us...'''<br />
**Who Joliver Ira<br />
**Source: ''Space Runaway Ideon: Be Invoked''<br />
**Notes: Having been mortally wounded by Doba Ajiba, he calls this to Bes before he bleeds out.<br />
<br />
*'''Do not fear! I am the battle commander! Exit the Null Space flight and charge into the Logo Dau ship! Daram's revenge-!'''<br />
**Who: Haralu Ajiba<br />
**Source: ''Space Runaway Ideon: Be Invoked''<br />
**Notes: During the space battle, she gives this command to try and ram the Solo Ship. But the Ideon's Wave Leader gun fires a blast that breaches her ship's bridge and vaporizes her along with her crew.<br />
<br />
*'''Damn you, Doba! Do you think that you are controlling this army by yourself?'''<br />
**Who: Gindoro Jinmu<br />
**Source: ''Space Runaway Ideon: Be Invoked''<br />
**Notes: He argues with Doba while intending to flee back to his home planet. Doba silences him by shooting him in the heart. His spirit converses with Doba after that.<br />
<br />
*'''Bring them here!'''<br />
**Who: Kasha Imhof<br />
**Source: ''Space Runaway Ideon: Be Invoked''<br />
**Notes: Said while requesting ammunition for her launcher to Fard. When the ship is fired on again, shrapnel pierces her helmet and kills her instantaneously.<br />
<br />
*'''They're still coming!'''<br />
**Who: Ashura Novak<br />
**Source: ''Space Runaway Ideon: Be Invoked''<br />
**Notes: Said when spotting Buff Clan troopers breaking into the Solo Ship. Her head is blown off by a gunshot.<br />
<br />
*'''Impossible...! I never had the chance to do anything...!'''<br />
**Who: Hatari Nabaru<br />
**Source: ''Space Runaway Ideon: Be Invoked''<br />
**Notes: Before he can activate the DS Drive Brake, he is shot in the side of the head and curses this.<br />
<br />
*'''Do you understand why? It's because I'm the man who holds the karma of the Buff clan... There is no turning back, the Ide has been invoked!'''<br />
**Who: Doba Ajiba<br />
**Source: ''Space Runaway Ideon: Be Invoked''<br />
**Notes: Whilst trying to destroy the Ideon with the Ganda Rowa, Doba learns the Ide has incurred its wrath, then is shot to death by his own officers.<br />
<br />
*'''Cosmo... Maybe... Everything we did was too late.'''<br />
**Who: Bes Jordan<br />
**Source: ''Space Runaway Ideon: Be Invoked''<br />
**Notes: Despite Cosmo's efforts to cripple the Ganda Rowa, Bes says these in regret before the Ide is invoked and vaporizes everyone in the battle including Bes.<br />
<br />
*'''DAMN YOU!'''<br />
**Who: Cosmo Yuki<br />
**Source: ''Space Runaway Ideon: Be Invoked''<br />
**Notes: Attempting to destroy the Ganda Rowa, Cosmo yells this to a Zanza Lubu pilot, but despite his efforts, Cosmo, the Ideon, the Solo Ship and the Ganda Rowa are vaporized by the latter ship's blast, invoking the Ide.<br />
<br />
*'''But how?'''<br />
**Who: Sadler<br />
**Source: Street Fighter Alpha: The Animation<br />
**Notes: Cries this after being defeated by Ryu's Hadou Ken to avoid being consumed by the Dark Hadou. After that, Sadler fades away into nothingness.<br />
<br />
*'''Brother, see you around...'''<br />
**Who: Shun<br />
**Source: Street Fighter Alpha: The Animation<br />
**Notes: Said after being mortally wounded from Ryu's victory over Rosanov. After the victory of Sadler, Shun dies with Ryu promising to never again use the Dark Hadou.<br />
<br />
*'''Yuri! It's too late for me. Focus on the people that you can save.''' ''[throws Yuri his arm band]'' '''Take this, too!''' ''[turns to Flynn]'' '''Flynn, you look after them. Become an even greater knight than your old man. Remember your true duty.''' [Hisca: NOOOOOOO! PLEASE, CAPTAIN! NOOOOOO!] '''Now go.'''<br />
**Who: Niren Fedrock<br />
**Source ''Tales of Vesperia: The First Strike''<br />
**Notes: Commander of the Niren Corps, investigating a fortress of aer. With the fortress caving in, Niren sacrifices himself to save Chastel and tells his companions to leave without him, just as the fortress caves in on him. <br />
<br />
*'''That's...'''<br />
**Who: Garista Luodur<br />
**Source: ''Tales of Vesperia: The First Strike''<br />
**Notes: The strategist of the Niren Corps who wants to illegally makes a new blastia. After a hard fight, Yuri impales him with his sword. Garista spots what his killer was using and Yuri replies "His blastia, you bastard." before leaving him to drop dead.<br />
<br />
*'''The shadow... Watch out for the shadow.'''<br />
**Who: Nolt<br />
**Source: ''Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust<br />
**Notes: One of the Markus Brothers trying to free Charlotte, Nolt is ambushed by the shadow monster, Benge who pierces his shadow and him. Nolt fails to hit back and he warns this before dying of his injury.<br />
<br />
*'''That was close.'''<br />
**Who: Benge<br />
**Source: ''Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust<br />
**Notes: One of the Barbarois monster mercenaries working for Meier Link, the shadowy monster fights Kyle and Borgoff in broad daylight. After dodging some arrows, Benge says this in relief, but dodges an arrow to his throat. However, Kyle uses his blades to cut Benge apart.<br />
<br />
*'''Now, that cleared my head. I really should return the favor. Don't you think, honey?'''<br />
**Who: Caroline<br />
**Source: ''Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust<br />
**Notes: One of the Barbarois monster mercenaries working for Meier Link, with her ability to merge with any surface, Caroline first fights D and is decapitated. But she survives and tries to kill Leila who throws a knife into her head. The monster scoffs it off and prepares to strike back, but the knife detonates, killing her.<br />
<br />
*'''Borgoff, we should just let her kill herself. And then we can finish HIM off, what do you think about that idea? We get the money if she's dead or alive.'''<br />
**Who: Kyle<br />
**Source: ''Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust<br />
**Notes: One of the Markus Brothers, Kyle is known to use blades like yoyos. While confronting Meier Link at a bridge at sundown, he believes that Charlotte should commit suicide, then he can freely finish Meier Link. Before he can finish the vampire, he is cut open by Machira.<br />
<br />
*'''Uhh! It was Carmilla who hired us, and as a Barbarois, my duty has been fulfilled. Now I can die in peace.'''<br />
**Who: Machira<br />
**Source: ''Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust<br />
**Notes: One of the Barbarois monster mercenaries working for Meier Link, Machira with the ability to become a werewolf has a brief fight with D. In its aftermath, he tells D it was Carmilla who hired him, then he dies of his injuries, an honorable death.<br />
<br />
*'''Grr! She'll die! I'm warning you, dunpeal; don't come any closer! ENOUGH, now you die!'''<br />
**Who: Borgoff<br />
**Source: ''Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust<br />
**Notes: The leader of the Markus Brothers, Borgoff, is turned into a vampire by Carmilla. He then attempts to kill D and Leila, but Grove using spiritual powers self-destructs his ghost, killing Borgoff.<br />
<br />
*'''Leila...'''<br />
**Who: Grove<br />
**Source: ''Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust<br />
**Notes: One of the Markus Brothers with the ability to project a ghost with magical abilities. He aids D and Leila by self-destructing his ghost on the turned Borgoff. After calling out to Leila one final time, Grove dies.<br />
<br />
*'''Are you the son of the Vampire King? Who are you? Who are you, dunpeal? Such power.'''<br />
**Who: Carmilla<br />
**Source: ''Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust<br />
**Notes: The long dead countess use illusions in the Castle of Chaythe. She attempts to steal Charlotte's blood to return to life, but D dispels Carmilla's illusions then as her true ghost form, Carmilla wonders if D is the son of the Vampire King, but D uses Left Hand to devour her ghost.<br />
<br />
*'''Yes... Freedom, at last...'''<br />
**Who: Charlotte Elbourne<br />
**Source: ''Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust<br />
**Notes: The Elbourne girl who fell in love with Meier Link, at the Castle of Chaythe, Carmilla uses an illusion of Meier Link to bite her throat hoping to return to life. Dying, she speaks with joy on how she and her lover will get to the City in the Night and be free. Her ring is taken back to her father as proof.<br />
<br />
*'''Fly away.'''<br />
**Who: Leila<br />
**Source: ''Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust<br />
**Notes: The last of the Markus Brothers group, Leila says this while watching the rocket ship carrying Meier Link and Charlotte fly into space. These are her last heard words. Years later, she dies and is survived by her granddaughter.<br />
<br />
*'''Father gave his life so that you may have this sword, Ayame.''' [Ayame: Father...] '''You have to protect the sword, and go to Hyuga, and Hagakure-no-Sato. I'll take care of this thing and in the meantime, leave while you can! If we three schools of shadow don't combine, we'll never defeat it! Understand? I'm counting on you.''' <br />
**Who: Shinnosuke<br />
**Source: Wrath of the Ninja<br />
**Note: With the Kasumi village about to be destroyed by the three headed demon monster, Shinnosuke lends the Sword of Sorcery to Ayame then instructs her with these words to inform Hyuga and Hagakure-no-Sato of the Oboro's menace. He then stays behind buying time for Ayame to escape and dies.<br />
<br />
*'''Stay back! Leave this thing to me. Be sure everyone else is safe, Ryoma.'''<br />
**Who: Genyusai<br />
**Source: Wrath of the Ninja<br />
**Note: He is attacked by a blob-like Oboro monster, warns Ryoma with this and blows himself up.<br />
<br />
*'''Die!'''<br />
**Who: Jinnai Saegusa<br />
**Source: Wrath of the Ninja<br />
**Note: Said while fighting Ayame in the Hagakure village. He is dragged off the bridge by Ayame into a gorge. Injured, he makes one last attempt to kill Ayame, but hits Kikyo by mistake. Ayame then slings a blade to break Jinnai's mask and kill him.<br />
<br />
*'''I was so happy.'''<br />
**Who: Kikyo Kogure<br />
**Source: Wrath of the Ninja<br />
**Note: Said after shielding Ayame from Jinnai's finger blades and dies of her injuries.<br />
<br />
*'''Someone's interfering.'''<br />
**Who: Genzo the Harpist<br />
**Source: Wrath of the Ninja<br />
**Note: Said after his failure to torture Ayame and Ryoma with a worm-like monster. He engages Ayame in a small fight who uses the Sword of Sorcery to vaporize him.<br />
<br />
*'''We were betrayed by Koga... Master Sakon, Master!'''<br />
**Who: Jinpei<br />
**Source: Wrath of the Ninja<br />
**Note: When another village of ninja against Nobunaga is attack, he is blinded crying out to Sakon and dies by Masago's control. <br />
<br />
*'''Ah, this is the Iga and Nabari technique. The four corners as you intended!'''<br />
**Who: Masago the Silk Spinner<br />
**Source: Wrath of the Ninja<br />
**Note: An Oboro monstrous ninja who controls Kayo like a puppet. He says this surviving a combined arrow-like attack. But Tanba's last suicidal attack kills him.<br />
<br />
*'''IGA TECHNIQUE, LIGHTNING STRIKE DEATH!'''<br />
**Who: Tanba Momochi<br />
**Source: Wrath of the Ninja<br />
**Note: He calls out this technique and is blown to bloody pieces by Masago but not before leaving bombs to kill Masago.<br />
<br />
*'''Kill me... Please! Please kill me!'''<br />
**Who: Kayo Momochi<br />
**Source: Wrath of the Ninja<br />
**Note: When turned into a centipede monster, she cries out this. Ryoma seeing no other way to save her says "Mistress Kayo, you really, you really want to cry out like this? To cry out and try to, try to free yourself? To free yourself of the demons inside. But you weren't able to. It must've bene hard, must've been painful. Now I'll relieve your pain. I'll relieve your pain right now...!" Ryoma runs the monster Kayo through with his halberd and ends her misery.<br />
<br />
*'''First attack, second attack, third attack la, tears were sent to the Underworld and that's where you go to.'''<br />
**Who: Kagami<br />
**Source: Wrath of the Ninja<br />
**Note: She uses zombies made from her cries but is countered by Ryoma's Halberd of Sorcery. Even after her toy ball explodes, Ryoma runs her through and says "Why do I always have to kill you? Answer me that, damn it!" Kagami reverts to her demon form and is destroyed.<br />
<br />
*'''Ranmaru, please do something! My head is going to explode, Ranmaru...!'''<br />
**Who: Nobunaga Oda<br />
**Source: Wrath of the Ninja<br />
**Note: After an intense battle, Ayame says "When chaos reigns, three swords become one to eliminate the Evil!" and with the weapons combined she obliterates the monstrous Nobunaga.<br />
<br />
*'''Cut off Nobunaga's head!'''<br />
**Who: Ryoan<br />
**Source: Wrath of the Ninja<br />
**Note: Sometime after fighting off some monsters, he chants something but Ranmaru tells him "Your duty is complete!" and uses telekinesis to blast him against the wall. In his death throes, he reverts to his true Oboro monster form.<br />
<br />
*'''That is the extent of your skill, Shadow Warrior! It's the end.''' [Sakon: Ayame...] ''[Sakon collapses from Kiheiji's scythe but energy sparks from his Sword of Sorcery]'' '''What? NO!'''<br />
**Who: Kiheiji the Quiet Doom<br />
**Source: Wrath of the Ninja<br />
**Note: Said thinking he has defeated Sakon. But Sakon's sword makes a miraculous energy blast to vaporize Kiheiji.<br />
<br />
*'''Don't be a fool... The Demon God no longer exists!'''<br />
**Who: Ranmaru<br />
**Source: Wrath of the Ninja<br />
**Note: He says says this overconfident about his chances. With the Black Demon inches from escaping into the surface world, Sakon and Ayame use a combined technique to destroy Ranmaru, Ryoma and the Black Demon.<br />
<br />
*'''KIKYO!'''<br />
**Who: Ryoma Kogure<br />
**Source: Wrath of the Ninja<br />
**Note: With the Black Demon inches from escaping into the surface world, Sakon and Ayame use a combined technique to destroy Ranmaru, Ryoma and the Black Demon, while Ryoma cries out to his sister, knowing that he will join her in death.<br />
<br />
*'''We got theem, didn't we?''' ''[Ayame: Yes, we got them...]'' '''And it looks like you can return to being a woman now. There were so many things I wanted to tell you. [''Coughs''] '''But I can't remember a single one of them.''' ''[Ayame: It's another one of your lecture, you'll have plenty of time to give me that later.]'' '''That's right, from the first moment I met you I wanted just for once, to talk to you, in the way a man talks to a woman... ''[Ayame: That wouldn't be bad.]'' '''And this time, I'll have to be careful not to let you knock me out. Ayame, look the moon, the moon, it's a full moon. It's so quiet...'''<br />
**Who: Sakon Hayate.<br />
**Source: Wrath of the Ninja<br />
**Note: After the final battle to save the world from Ranmaru, and the Black Demon, he says this monologue and dies of his injuries leaving Ayame the last surviving Shadow Warrior.<br />
<br />
*'''It's time for you to return to Tokyo, Kamui. You've been chosen by fate to fight for the city.'''<br />
**Who: Tōru Shirō<br />
**Source: ''[[w:X (1996 film)|X (1996)]]''<br />
**Note: Said while transfering her life force into a Sacred Sword then sends it into her son, Kamui. As a result, her body is blown apart while Kamui cries out to her in horror.<br />
<br />
*'''Precisely. I have no desire to kill innocent bystanders; Only you. They will have to find their own salvation when the main battle commences.'''<br />
**Who: Subaru Sumeragi<br />
**Source: ''[[w:X (1996 film)|X (1996)]]''<br />
**Note: Said before he begins his fight with Seishirō Sakurazuka. After an intense fight, both assume their dragon forms and kill each other collapsing Subaru's protective barrier and wrecking the buildings.<br />
<br />
*'''The Dragons of the Heaven that you represent will meet my Dragons of the Earth; But that is for the future. This is a fight to the death for two personal foes.'''<br />
**Who: Seishirō Sakurazuka<br />
**Source: ''[[w:X (1996 film)|X (1996)]]''<br />
**Note: Said during his fight with Subaru. After an intense fight, both assume their dragon forms and kill each other collapsing Subaru's protective barrier and wrecking the buildings. They are the first casualties in the war between the Dragons of Heaven and Earth.<br />
<br />
*'''Oh yes, that's very dramatic; But I'm not sure how useful it is. Oh sure, the shield will put the area within it into another dimension, and then any damage occuring within the shield will not be replicated in the real world, big deal! Don't forget if the creator of that power shield's killed which he could be ay any time, drowned for argument's sake, then the power of the shield will be nullified, and the full force of the damage will be felt.''' [Sorata: Well, that's the theory!] '''I've seen it with my own eyes; A Dragon of the Heaven's died and it's shield crumbled. Let me show you how it was.'''<br />
**Who: Shōgo Asagi<br />
**Source: ''[[w:X (1996 film)|X (1996)]]''<br />
**Note: Said explaining the power of the shield that the Dragons of Heaven use to safeguard Tokyo against the Dragons of the Earth and how Subaru lost his life. He says nothing else as he engages Sorata Arisugawa and the other Dragons in the neighborhood area where Kamui is meeting Fuma and Kotori, who is abducted by Kanoe. Later, he targets Tokyo Station to begin the purging of the human race and engages Karen and tries to ram her with a train. But Karen burns both herself and Shōgo alive.<br />
<br />
*'''BURN, BURN!'''<br />
**Who: Karen Kasumi<br />
**Source: ''[[w:X (1996 film)|X (1996)]]''<br />
**Note: Said while launching fire at Shōgo who tries to ram her with a train. As a result, both die in the blaze, the shield for Tokyo Station dissolves and the station collapses.<br />
<br />
*'''We do not intend to destroy the Earth, and we will not do so; Only man. Man who kills, who hates, who rapes this planet. Why should he continue to exist? What the Earth needs is a period of tranquility.'''<br />
**Who: Nataku<br />
**Source: ''[[w:X (1996 film)|X (1996)]]''<br />
**Note: Said while fighting Seiichirō at the Sunshine 60 building. After a fierce fight, Seiichirō takes Nataku and they both fall to their deaths on a freeway bridge below.<br />
<br />
*'''You may be right; I don't deny it! But my priority is that there are people I love and will protect. And there are those who have labored to raise man to something higher than the beasts. For their sake, I will fight. For their sake, I CANNOT LET YOU LIVE!'''<br />
**Who: Seiichirō Aoki<br />
**Source: ''[[w:X (1996 film)|X (1996)]]''<br />
**Note: Said while fighting Nataku taking the clothed Dragon of the Earth and they both fall to their deaths below destroying the Sunshine 60 building's shield in the process.<br />
<br />
*'''I'm sorry. I wasn't much good to you, was I? I've never been in love as a woman can be in love. I'd like to have known someone who had cried when they buried me.''' ''[Yuzuriha's barrier dissoles]'' '''Kamui, promise me that you'll fight to protect those you love...!'''<br />
**Who: Yuzuriha Nekoi<br />
**Source: ''[[w:X (1996 film)|X (1996)]]''<br />
**Note: Said after being mortally wounded by Yūto's whip-like sai blades. She dies while her dog companion Inuki fades away.<br />
<br />
*'''Let me take care of this.'''<br />
**Who: Kusanagi Shiyū<br />
**Source: ''[[w:X (1996 film)|X (1996)]]''<br />
**Note: Said to Fuma promising he can handle Kamui. But Fuma convinced he is Kamui uses his newfound powers to tear Kusanagi apart.<br />
<br />
*'''Kamui...!'''<br />
**Who: Kotori Monou<br />
**Source: ''[[w:X (1996 film)|X (1996)]]''<br />
**Note: Said while running from Fuma who wants to claim the Sacred Sword of the Dragon of the Earth. Despite her efforts, he catches up with her, claws his hand into her and forces the sword out of her body and she bleeds out. Kamui momentarily breaks down and mourns her.<br />
<br />
*'''Are you working secretly with Kamui?'''<br />
**Who: Yūto Kigai<br />
**Source: ''[[w:X (1996 film)|X (1996)]]''<br />
**Note: Said when betrayed by Fuma, who in his madness, declares "You fool! I AM KAMUI!" and blasts him into the Beast, electrocuting him.<br />
<br />
*'''Do you understand what I'm telling you?! Yūto needs help now!'''<br />
**Who: Satsuki Yatoji<br />
**Source: ''[[w:X (1996 film)|X (1996)]]''<br />
**Note: Said while trying to get a response from The Beast machine. Fuma blasts Yūto into the machine and the malfunctioning machine impales her. The Beast confirms her death.<br />
<br />
*'''Your words have proved false, your prrophecies empty. No one wants a Dream Watcher whose interpretations are so inaccurate.''' [Hinoto: Wait and see, Kanoe!] '''Waiting I'm afraid, is one thing I have no time for. I wanted your gift to be respected, but instead you've been treated like some freak in a fairground. If you've failed now, at least you'll be free...'''<br />
**Who: Kanoe<br />
**Source: ''[[w:X (1996 film)|X (1996)]]''<br />
**Note: Said after being mortally wounded by Fuma, who has awoken the Dragon of the Earth. She dies, knowing that the world will soon be destroyed.<br />
<br />
*'''I told you, you're my type. Since I was born, I've known that it was my destiny to die fighting for the Dragon of Heaven; But I've figured to die fighting for a beautiful woman instead. And you wouldn't believe it, but I was right... One bad thing, I wish I had still be around to keep and eye on you... but I wouldn't be much use... It's beginning to get a bit hard simply keeping my eyes open at all, even to look at you babe. One thing I never... got around to asking was how you'd feel about me; I wish I'd asked, not that it matters anymore...'''<br />
**Who: Sorata Arisugawa<br />
**Source: ''[[w:X (1996 film)|X (1996)]]''<br />
**Note: Said after losing his fight with Fuma. He confesses his friendship with Arashi knowing he truly loves her before dying as the shield for the National Diet Building fails.<br />
<br />
*'''Sorata...!'''<br />
**Who: Arashi Kishū<br />
**Source: ''[[w:X (1996 film)|X (1996)]]''<br />
**Note: Said mourning the loss of Sorata. With her guard down, Fuma runs his sword through her and gloats "There's nothing to stop you asking her now!"<br />
<br />
*'''I will send you to the Tokyo Tower; The final shield. There you will play the drama to its conclusion. Kanoe...'''<br />
**Who: Hinoto<br />
**Source: ''[[w:X (1996 film)|X (1996)]]''<br />
**Note: Said as she teleports Kamui to the last shield between Earth and devastation: Tokyo Tower. She stays behind as the National Diet Building caves in.<br />
<br />
*'''We were destined to confront each other in battle today. Very soon, mankind will be wiped off the Earth; That has also been ordained!'''<br />
**Who: Fuma Monou<br />
**Source: ''[[w:X (1996 film)|X (1996)]]''<br />
**Note: Said while fighting Kamui at the Tokyo Tower. Kamui replies, "You're wrong. Mankind can direct it's own destiny!" The two Kamuis then charge at one another with their Sacred Swords and Kamui wins the final fight by cutting off Fuma's head. In the aftermath, Kamui mourns his dead former friend cradling his head.<br />
<br />
===Other films===<br />
* '''We animals... are brothers; large or small; clever or simple; fur or feathers; now and forever... All animals are EQUAL!'''<br />
** Old Major<br />
** Source: ''[[Animal Farm (1954 film)|Animal Farm]]'' (1954)<br />
** Note: He dies suddenly while the animals are singing. <br />
<br />
* '''A vote for my plan is a vote for a life beautiful.''' [Napoleon: It's a lie.] '''I promise you a four-day week.''' [Napoleon: Gush!] '''Perhaps a three-day week.''' [Napoleon: Nonsense!] '''A ONE-DAY WEEK!'''<br />
** Who: Snowball<br />
** Source: ''[[Animal Farm (1954 film)|Animal Farm]]'' (1954)<br />
** Note: Getting chased out of Animal Farm by Napoleon's guard dogs and killed in the process.<br />
<br />
* '''No... It is you... who is my son.'''<br />
** Who: King Simeon<br />
** Source: ''[[Animal Kingdom: Let’s Go Ape]]''<br />
<br />
* '''NOOO!'''<br />
** Who: The Simian Witch<br />
** Source: ''[[Animal Kingdom: Let’s Go Ape]]'' <br />
<br />
* '''I'm thinking of your life, Wilbur. Nothing can harm you now.''' ''[sings]'' '''The autumn days grow short and cold; / It's Christmas time again. / Then snows of winter slowly melt. / The day grows short, / And then... / He turns the seasons around, / And so she changes... her gown: / Mother Earth... and Father Time. /''' ''[words are slowly being reduced to a whisper]'' '''How very special are we... / For just a moment... to be... / Part of life's... eternal... rhyme.'''<br />
** Who: Charlotte A. Cavatica<br />
** Source: ''[[Charlotte's Web (1973 film)|Charlotte's Web]]'' (1973)<br />
** Note: A dying Charlotte is unable to move her 514 unborn children into Wilbur's crate and sadly informs the pig that she will not return to the barn. Fortunately, they ask Templeton the rat to move the eggs safely into the crate, which he does. Unlike the original novel, Wilbur stays around to hear Charlotte's last words of her swan song before the spider lets out her final breath, leaving him heartbroken at her death.<br />
<br />
* '''Honey?'''<br />
** Who: Martha<br />
** Source: ''[[Hotel Transylvania]]''<br />
** Note: Count Dracula wanted her to hide from the angry human mob, but she was later killed while he argues with these people.<br />
<br />
* '''I saved myself!'''<br />
** Who: Chester V<br />
** Source: ''[[Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2]]''<br />
** Note: After nearly falling, Chester tries to escape by trying to go towards Livecorp's exit, however the Cheespider's tongue grabs him and later leaves his jacket behind.<br />
<br />
* '''They want our bodies. This is mine. My blood and my bone and my flesh...'''<br />
** Who: Jen Barrow<br />
** Source: ''[[w:Dead Space: Downfall|Dead Space: Downfall]]''<br />
** Notes: Jen has scrawled the same runes that adorn the Marker on the walls of her home, and carved them into her skin. After saying this line to her husband, she partially decapitates herself with a pickax. She is reanimated as a Slasher.<br />
<br />
* '''OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!'''<br />
** Who: Dig crew Foreman<br />
** Source: ''[[w:Dead Space: Downfall|Dead Space: Downfall]]''<br />
** Note: The only crew, the Ishimura, is able to raise is under attack by Necromorph organisms. After shrieking this line, his head is torn off.<br />
<br />
* [Chic: Shuttle seven! You cannot land on board the ''Ishimura'' at this time. You must turn back ''immediately''. Shuttle seven, do you read-] ''[Barrow punches viewscreen]'' '''Fuck you, ''Ishimura''! Landing, crashing or shot down. Pick one! But there's no way in Hell we're going back!'''<br />
** Who: Foreman Barrow<br />
** Source: ''[[w:Dead Space: Downfall|Dead Space: Downfall]]''<br />
** Notes: His wife kills herself under the Marker's influence. This drives him mad. He jumps into a survey ship to bring them home. In his panic, he doesn't notice the Infector that slips into his shuttlecraft. It reanimates his wife, who kills him.<br />
<br />
*''[weakly]'' '''No... no...'''<br />
**Who: Hans Leggio<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Dead Space: Downfall|Dead Space: Downfall]]''<br />
**Notes: The character, a psychotic who killed under the influence of the Marker, wakes up in the hospital. He steps out into the morgue, and notices Necromorph Infectors working on the corpses. He turns to run, and is impaled by a Pregnant. He himself is transformed into a Slasher, and attacks Vincent's team.<br />
<br />
*'''I'm no doctor, but it looks like something's been... ''chewing'' on him.''' [Pendleton: This shit just keeps getting weirder by the second.] '''Sounds like a date with Shen.''' [Shen: Fuck you, rookie.]<br />
**Who: Dobbs<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Dead Space: Downfall|Dead Space: Downfall]]''<br />
**Notes: Alissa's team comes across the horrendously mutated corpse of Leggio, who attacks Dobbs while he is examining a shred of intestine (and bickering with Shen). He stabs Dobbs to death and bites a chunk from his hand.<br />
<br />
*'''Bastard! ''[raving]'' Get away from me!'''<br />
**Who: Captain Benjamin Matthaius<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Dead Space: Downfall|Dead Space: Downfall]]''<br />
**Notes: The captain has lost his mind, raving ever louder about the Artefact, and growing more violent and paranoid until he has to be physically restrained. White and Chic try to hold him down while Kyne sedates him. He breaks free and starts to throttle Kyne, who stabs him in the eye with a hypodermic, possibly in self-defense, but more likely by accident.<br />
<br />
*'''These guys ain't so tough.'''<br />
**Who: Shen<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Dead Space: Downfall|Dead Space: Downfall]]''<br />
**Note: She has fought off a Pregnant, the horde of Swarmers it was carrying, and several slashers only to be stabbed and bisected by Hansen, who has gone completely mad after fending off a Lurker.<br />
<br />
*'''Help! Please!''' ''[breaks down, crying]'' '''Please! Please!''' ''[sobbing]'' '''Please!'''<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Dead Space: Downfall|Dead Space: Downfall]]''<br />
**Who: unidentified Female crew member<br />
**Note: A group of slashers are working on the barracks door. She calls for help, and Vincent's team rescues them. The entire rescued group is killed by slashers later.<br />
<br />
*'''Holy creatures, transform me into your humble servant, as you alter my flesh and free my soul.'''<br />
**Who: Samue Irons<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Dead Space: Downfall|Dead Space: Downfall]]''<br />
**Samuel is a very devout "Unitologist", a religious group that seems to revere the Necromorphs as angels, apparently. However, he only succumbs after being stabbed and surrounded.<br />
<br />
*'''I'm losing it, Alissa. They're in my head, and I want to hurt you.''' [Alissa: What the-what are you doing?] '''The door won't hold them for long. I'm giving you a head start.''' [Alissa: Knock it off, They'll kill you!] '''It's been an honor to serve with you, boss.'''<br />
**Who: Ramirez<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Dead Space: Downfall|Dead Space: Downfall]]''<br />
**Note-Ramirez has hotwired a sealed door that he and Alissa need to go through. He has recanted his reasons for joining the ship's Security force, with a swarm of Slashers getting ever nearer. He forces Alissa through the doors, which he then shorts closed. He is then torn apart.<br />
<br />
*'''Here we go.'''<br />
**Who: Alissa<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Dead Space: Downfall|Dead Space: Downfall]]''<br />
**Note: Alissa has recorded a distress signal to the emergency beacon of Barrow's crashed survey ship. However, the beacon must be launched manually. She opens the Cargo Bay loading doors and launches the beacon. She is then sucked out into space.<br />
<br />
*'''Voice command authorization. "Be human."'''<br />
*'''And for one last instant, I'm human again.'''<br />
**Who: Ghost<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Halo Legends|Halo Legends: Prototype]]''<br />
**Notes: After losing his humanity to the death of a fellow marine, he holds off many of the Covenant forces, buying time for shuttles to escape. He then activates his suit's destruct sequence. Then in his last thought, he felt human again, then dies in the explosion.<br />
<br />
*'''You are not worthy to speak her name. But I promise it is the last you will utter.'''<br />
**Who: Fal 'Chavamee<br />
*'''There will be time for talk when I rule in your stead. And declare your shame, Arbiter.'''<br />
**Who: Haka<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Halo Legends|Halo Legends: The Duel]]''<br />
**Notes: Rejecting Covenant religion, Fal fights through a large company of Covenant soldiers. He then learns Haka killed his wife, then they fight a duel that ends in their deaths.<br />
<br />
*'''There's no time! Go, Ralph! Get that ship out of here now!'''<br />
**Who: Daisy-023<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Halo Legends|Halo Legends: Homecoming]]''<br />
**Notes: During the Harvest Campaign, Daisy-023 tried to hold off as many Sangheili, but is impaled by Needler rounds. She orders her Pelican ship to escape, but it is destroyed. She then dies of her injuries.<br />
<br />
*'''You'll see.'''<br />
**Who: Grimaldi<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Heavy Metal (film)|Heavy Metal]]''<br />
**Note: He says this to his daughter. But when he tries to study it, the Loc-Nar glows immensely and melts him in a bloody fashion.<br />
<br />
*'''This time you die, Taraakian bitch!'''<br />
**Who: Barbarian Leader<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Heavy Metal (film)|Heavy Metal]]''<br />
**Note: In his final fight with the last known Taraakian Taarna, he says this while trying to kill her. But her bird bites his leg and buys her some time to skewer his face with his own buzzsaw hand and beat him to death.<br />
<br />
*'''Taarna. Do not sacrifice yourself. You cannot destroy.''' ''[Taarna uses her powers to transform into lightning and crashes into the Loc-Nar]'' '''No... No...'''<br />
**Who: The Loc-Nar<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Heavy Metal (film)|Heavy Metal]]''<br />
**Note: The monstrous entity warns this to Taarna, but she gives up her energy in a final suicidal attack destroying it. In the girl's home whose father Grimaldi was killed, she barely manages to get out before the Loc-Nar self-destructs taking her former home with it. In turn, this gives her a fighting chance to live as the new Taraakian warrior to protect the next millennia.<br />
<br />
* '''You pest, just like your parents! I don't care if I have to throw you off the cliff, GO GET IT!'''<br />
** Who: Lasombra<br />
** Source: ''[[Hey Arnold!: The Jungle Movie]]'' (2017)<br />
** Note: Before he could let Arnold go, the poison of the dart finally got to him, resulting in him staggering back. Before he falls, however, he grabs the Corazón amulet, and falls into the canyon to his death, ending his evil reign in San Lorenzo once and for all.<br />
* '''You smell gas?!''' [Adrienne: THERE HE IS! He went that...] '''No problem!'''<br />
<br />
** Who: The Exterminator<br />
** Source: The Itsy Bitsy Spider (1992)<br />
** Note: After Itsy Bitsy turns on the fireplace while he's riding a mouse, The Exterminator tries to kill Itsy with flamethrowers. However, he shoots flames into a fireplace until it explodes. But when Leslie realizes that she believes the Exterminator dies in the explosion ("WHOA!"), the Exterminator turns out to be a killer robot ("Warning! Warning! Vaporization of outer latex insulation in progress! Drop and roll! Drop and roll!").<br />
<br />
*'''You had your chance, but now it's over, boy. Poetic justice. Your father ruined my life, and now I'll ruin his, by killing you. How sweet. You clung to your grandfather's sword until the end. But now it has to return to me. And I will use it to kill your father.''' ''[Justin grabs the sword with his free hand]'' '''What?'''<br />
**Who: Heraclio<br />
**Source: ''[[Justin and the Knights of Valour]]''<br />
<br />
*'''You fools thought you'd get rid of me --'''<br />
** Who: Gerald the elf<br />
** Source: ''[[A Loud House Christmas Movie: Naughty or Nice]]'' (2025)<br />
** Note: Gets turned into a lifeless gingerbread man by the evil Santa's cookie laser. He wasn't shown again afterwards with no word on how he got back to normal.<br />
<br />
*'''NO!!!'''<br />
** Who: Lincoln Loud<br />
** Source: ''[[A Loud House Christmas Movie: Naughty or Nice]]'' (2025)<br />
** Note: When the evil Santa threatens to turn Duncan into a lifeless gingerbread cookie with his laser for not wanting to be naughty like him, Lincoln jumps in front of him and takes the hit, losing his life in the process as the Louds and Duncan mourn him. He is later revived when his love and sacrifice for his family and the true meaning of Christmas restores the source of Christmas magic, returning the North Pole back to as it was and undoing everything the naughty people did to Royal Woods.<br />
<br />
*'''I like you... A fighter to the bitter end!'''<br />
**Who: Archuk<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Mass Effect: Paragon Lost|Mass Effect: Paragon Lost]]''<br />
**Notes: In his raid on Felh Prime, Archuk duels with James Vega and nearly wins, but his head is shot off by Milque.<br />
<br />
*'''I'm out!'''<br />
**Who: Kamille<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Mass Effect: Paragon Lost|Mass Effect: Paragon Lost]]''<br />
**Notes: While taking on Collector troopers, Kamille says this after running out of ammunition, and it taken captive by the Collectors. She is processed into a Praetorian and remains silent before dying.<br />
<br />
*'''Kamille...? That you? Kammy?!'''<br />
**Who: Mason<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Mass Effect: Paragon Lost|Mass Effect: Paragon Lost]]''<br />
**Notes: Upon spotting Kamille processed into a Praetorian, he tries to run to her, but the Praetorian vaporizes him.<br />
<br />
*'''I'm... with you, sir... We've still gotta... save our people...'''<br />
**Who: Nicky<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Mass Effect: Paragon Lost|Mass Effect: Paragon Lost]]''<br />
**Notes: Nicky takes a fatal hit from the Praetorian claws meant for Vega. He then admits to Vega they need to save the colonists before dying with a smile knowing his antidote has been perfected.<br />
<br />
*'''I'm finished. But maybe you can still use it to fight your way out. You freed me from that cage, Vega, and gave me the chance to die with honor in battle. the way a krogan should... For that, I owe you a debt I can never repay...'''<br />
**Who: Brood<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Mass Effect: Paragon Lost|Mass Effect: Paragon Lost]]''<br />
**Notes: Moments after being shot in the face by Messner, the Blood Pack krogan Brood thanks Vega for allowing the chance to die in battle honorably and loans him his power cell.<br />
<br />
*'''Collect this...you bitch!'''<br />
**Who: Essex<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Mass Effect: Paragon Lost|Mass Effect: Paragon Lost]]''<br />
**Notes: As he makes a stand on the Collector ship, he is impaled on the Collector boss's claws. Essex then says this as he flares his biotics, killing the Collector boss along with himself.<br />
<br />
*'''She's lying! Just... take me with you! It's yours! Anything! I don't wanna die! NOT LIKE THIS! No! ''NOOOO!'''''<br />
**Who: Messner<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Mass Effect: Paragon Lost|Mass Effect: Paragon Lost]]''<br />
**Notes: After getting his cufflink containing the Collector's information stolen by Treeya and mortally injured by Vega, Messner tries to make a deal with Vega, but is killed by Collector laser fire.<br />
<br />
*'''Hush... It's okay, baby. It's okay. Just close your eyes, honey. We're going home.'''<br />
**Who: Christine<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Mass Effect: Paragon Lost|Mass Effect: Paragon Lost]]''<br />
**Notes: With the Collector ship and the colonists on board about to burn up, Christine tries to comfort her daughter April in their last moments.<br />
<br />
*'''James said he'd come back... He said he's save us, Mommy. He promised!'''<br />
**Who: April<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Mass Effect: Paragon Lost|Mass Effect: Paragon Lost]]''<br />
**Notes: Being a young girl who would have been James Vega's lookout, she cries out to him, just as she dies, along with the colonists.<br />
<br />
*'''God have mercy.'''<br />
**Who: Captain Toni<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Mass Effect: Paragon Lost|Mass Effect: Paragon Lost]]''<br />
**Notes: Realizing that James Vega will leave him and the Fehl Prime colonists to die, he mutters this before he is crushed by debris.<br />
<br />
*'''Hey, boss! Be right back. I'm gonna go break some stuff.''' [Ballister: Nimona, what are you—] '''It's time to rewrite this story.''' [Ballister: Nimona! NIMONA!]<br />
**Who: Nimona<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Nimona (film)|Nimona]]'' (2023)<br />
**Note: Said to Ballister before she sacrifices herself to save the kingdom by flying into the cannon aimed at her in the form of a phoenix. She regenerates off-screen and later reunites with Ballister.<br />
<br />
*'''GO BACK TO THE SHADOWS FROM WHENCE YOU CAME!'''<br />
**Who: The Director<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Nimona (film)|Nimona]]'' (2023)<br />
**Notes: Enraged when Ambrosius and the other knights refuse to fire the kingdom's wall cannons at Nimona (since she has proven to be harmless and countless citizens would be caught in the crossfire), the Director tries to fire one such cannon herself, quoting the supposed hero Gloreth as she does so. However, Nimona flies straight into the cannon at the last moment, and the Director is killed in the resulting explosion.<br />
<br />
* '''Any more big ideas? Please stay.'''<br />
** Who: Norvirus Raccoon<br />
** Source: ''[[The Nut Job]]'' (2014)<br />
** Note: A mid-credits scene reveals that Raccoon and Cardinal survived and were drifted out to sea, but sharks surround them, leaving their fate ambiguous.<br />
<br />
*'''You son of a...''' ''[hawk screeches]''<br />
**Who: Rock-Eye<br />
**Source: ''[[Rango (2011 film)|Rango]]'' (2011)<br />
**Note: Gets caught by the hawk and no-one knows of how the hawk ate him or something.<br />
<br />
*'''Well, I suppose we could talk to the Mayor. I hear he's been helpin’ people out in this time of crisis.''' [Beans: The Mayor?] '''He maybe our only hope.'''<br />
**Who: Mr. Merrimack<br />
**Source: ''[[Rango (2011 film)|Rango]]'' (2011)<br />
**Note: He was murdered and his body left in the middle of the desert, where it was found by Rango's posse. Doc determined that Merrimack died of drowning.<br />
<br />
*'''No, Jake! NO! NOOO!'''<br />
**Who: Tortoise John<br />
**Source: ''[[Rango (2011 film)|Rango]]'' (2011)<br />
**Note: Rango finally manages to subdue Tortoise John and he turns him over to Rattlesnake Jake, who then acknowledges Rango as another great desert legend worthy to save his life. With Tortoise John at his mercy, Rattlesnake Jake vehemently paraphrases the mayor's previous words to him that "No one will believe you even existed", and he takes Tortoise John away screaming into the desert to severely punish him for his treachery, most likely killing him.<br />
<br />
*'''Eternal beauty.''' <br />
**Who: Regina<br />
**Source: [[w:Red Shoes and the Seven Dwarfs|Red Shoes and the Seven Dwarfs]]<br />
**Notes: Merlin pushes Regina out of the chamber and plunges her to death with him by electrocuting her.<br />
<br />
*'''I'm not losing, I don't lose. If I quit, I won't lose, so there, can't beat me, won't beat me, never!'''<br />
**Who: Miss Power<br />
**Source: ''[[The Rise of Miss Power]]''<br />
**Note: WordGirl managed to stop her by not letting her bullying power affect her. Miss Power fled from Earth, stating that as long as she quit, she didn't lose. WordGirl ignored the harsh words Miss Power said her when she called WordGirl weak and little and used the tactic of saying the opposite of the insult by saying she would grow and get stronger which made Miss Power quit her battle and leave the planet in shame.<br />
<br />
*'''You want proof? Talk to Firewater! That bastard bottle of booze seems to know what's going on. Wa-ha-haaaaaa!'''<br />
**Who: Honey Mustard<br />
**Source: ''[[Sausage Party]]'' (2016)<br />
**Note: After attempting to commit suicide by jumping out of the shopping cart, having warned the other foodstuffs of their impending doom, Frank asks what's going to happen as he hangs onto Honey Mustard. After responding, the cart abruptly stops and Frank loses his grip, resulting in Honey Mustard plummeting and shattering.<br />
<br />
*'''Cream of Mushroom? Are you there?'''<br />
**Who: Can of soup<br />
**Source: ''[[Sausage Party]]'' (2016)<br />
**Note: In a [[Saving Private Ryan]] homage, Frank witnesses other foodstuffs dying around him, including the can of soup holding his contents in his hands.<br />
<br />
*'''RUN! RUN!'''<br />
**Who: Berry<br />
**Source: ''[[Sausage Party]]'' (2016)<br />
**Note: Crushed by the wheels of an oncoming shopping cart while attempting to escape.<br />
<br />
*'''Dying... so c-cold...'''<br />
**Who: Juicius Maximus<br />
**Source: ''[[Sausage Party]]'' (2016)<br />
**Note: Douche finds an old Juicius Maximus box leaking near the dumpster at the back of Shopwell's and proceeds to "suck" the juice out of his body in order to strengthen up and get revenge on Frank.<br />
<br />
*'''Well, it's a pretty confusing sentence to be honest with you, you know. I mean, this is... uh, this happens, you know...'''<br />
**Who: Tequila<br />
**Source: ''[[Sausage Party]]'' (2016)<br />
**Note: After leading Brenda, Lavash and Sammy to the bar so that Douche can kill them, Douche questions Tequila why they are no longer there (having been led away by Teresa). Douche comforts Tequila, then grabs him and smashes him on the bar counter before drinking the contents of his head.<br />
<br />
*'''Oh, Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are cal- OH, JESUS FUCK! OH GOD, ME SKIN! SHE'S PEELING ME FUCKING SKIN! JESUS, YOU FUCKING WHORE! ME EYES! THEY BURN!'''<br />
**Who: Irish Potato<br />
**Source: ''[[Sausage Party]]'' (2016)<br />
**Note: Camille Toh uses a potato peeler to peel the skin of off Potato, revealing to the rest of the foodstuffs the truth of the Great Beyond. Camille then dunks the potato into a pot of boiling water, killing it.<br />
<br />
*'''NO, PLEASE-A NO, I'VE-A GOT A FAMIGLIA!'''<br />
**Who: Italian Tomato<br />
**Source: ''[[Sausage Party]]'' (2016)<br />
**Note: Immediately after killing Potato, Camille violently slices Tomato in half.<br />
<br />
*'''NOOO! DON'T!'''<br />
**Who: Cheddar Cheese<br />
**Source: ''[[Sausage Party]]'' (2016)<br />
**Note: Camille grates Cheddar Cheese with a cheese grater.<br />
<br />
*'''FOR THE LOVE OF SHIT, RUN!''' [Camille: Whoops!] '''I WANT MY MOMMY!'''<br />
**Who: Baby Carrot<br />
**Source: ''[[Sausage Party]]'' (2016)<br />
**Note: Two baby carrots fall out of the bowl that Camille was filling. They attempt to run away, but are caught by Camille and eaten.<br />
<br />
*'''Okay, little buddy, jump on the count of three! One! Two! Three... Ugh...''' [Barry: Carl?] '''BARRY! BA-RRY!''' [Barry: Carl to Bar what, what are you saying, Carl? Whoa! Oh God, no! CARL! Oh God! Carl! CARL!] '''BARRY!'''<br />
**Who: Carl<br />
**Source: ''[[Sausage Party]]'' (2016)<br />
**Note: Carl and Barry decide to jump out of the window to escape the carnage, but before they jump, Carl gets stabbed and sliced in half by Camille.<br />
<br />
*'''Whoop. Five-second rule. AAAAAAAHHH! Ahhh, uhhh, urrrrrrghhh... NO!'''<br />
**Who: Druggie<br />
**Source: ''[[Sausage Party]]'' (2016)<br />
**Note: No longer on bath salts, the druggie attempts to cook Barry, but misses the pot he tries to drop him into. He tries to pick him up quickly, but ends up spilling the boiling water onto his back. Barry jerks his shoelace and forces him to slip into water, crashing into the doorway and landing underneath an axe hanging above him. The axe comes loose from the druggie's impact against the wall, which falls and decapitates him.<br />
<br />
*'''Oh shit!'''<br />
**Who: Pop Tart<br />
**Source: ''[[Sausage Party]]'' (2016)<br />
**Note: Crushed by a Shopwell's shopkeeper shortly after the humans are injected with bath salts, causing them to see the food as living creatures.<br />
<br />
*'''It's better to die a free candy than to live in bondage.'''<br />
**Who: Sergeant Fizz Cola<br />
**Source: ''[[Sausage Party]]'' (2016)<br />
**Note: After other foodstuffs subdue a human with licorice, Sergeant Fizz Cola and Geronomints decide to kill him using the Diet Coke and Mentos reaction. Line said to Geronomints before he releases his mints.<br />
<br />
*'''This is gonna hurt so fuckin' much.'''<br />
**Who: Geronomints<br />
**Source: ''[[Sausage Party]]'' (2016)<br />
**Note: In response to Sergeant Fizz Cola before opening himself up, dropping his mints into the human's mouth.<br />
<br />
*'''No! GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU FUCKING FRUITS!'''<br />
**Who: African-American man<br />
**Source: ''[[Sausage Party]]'' (2016)<br />
**Note: Said to the fruits (stereotyping homosexual men), who back him into a booby trap and force him to be hung up like a pinata, before being beaten to death.<br />
<br />
*'''Goodbye, little sausage!'''<br />
**Who: Darren<br />
**Source: ''[[Sausage Party]]'' (2016)<br />
**Note: Said to Frank as he tries to shoot him, but is distracted long enough by Gum so that he and Douche are blasted out of Shopwell's and blown up.<br />
<br />
*'''''WHAT'S HAPPENING OUT THERE?!'''''<br />
**Who: Douche<br />
**Source: ''[[Sausage Party]]'' (2016)<br />
**Note: After Darren, whose anus Douche's nozzle is lodged inside, is knocked into his fireworks-propelled waste bucket, Douche utters these lines just before they are blasted out of Shopwell's and blown up.<br />
<br />
*'''Sharks will ''always'' be at the top! And you - you will always be food!''' [Quinn: This food bites back!] '''NOOOOOOO...! Oh wait... I'm a shark. I'm totally ''fine!'''''<br />
**Who: Grimes<br />
**Source: ''[[w:Seal Team (film)|Seal Team]]'' (2021)<br />
**Note: Knocked off the Good Boy ship after attempting one final attack on its military unit of seals, Grimes the great white shark is then shredded to death by the boat's propellor.<br />
<br />
*'''I know what you're trying to do-and it won't work. They're gone.'''<br />
**Who: Peter Parker / Spider-Man<br />
**Source: ''[[Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse]]'' (2018)<br />
**Note: Wounded by the explosion of the Super-Collider during a fight against Green Goblin and Prowler, Peter says these words to Wilson Fisk the Kingpin, whose plan to use the Super-Collider was to bring in alternate versions of his deceased wife and son, before getting killed by him.<br />
<br />
*'''Don't look back, honey. It's okay. It's okay.'''<br />
**Who: Vanessa<br />
**Source: ''[[Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse]]'' (2018)<br />
**Note: During the flashback of Kingpin's backstory, Vanessa, Kingpin's wife, head out along with her son Richard after seeing that Spiderman is fighting against Kingpin. As Vanessa and Richard drive out using the car, Vanessa's last words are spoken before her car gets hit by a truck.<br />
<br />
*'''Miles...''' [Miles Morales: Uncle Aaron. This is my fault.] '''No, Miles. I'm sorry. I wanted you to look up to me. I let you down, man, I let you down. You're the best of all of us, Miles. You're on your way. Just... just keep going... just keep going...'''<br />
**Who: Aaron Davis / Prowler<br />
**Source: ''[[Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse]]'' (2018)<br />
**Note: The character was Miles Morales' uncle, as well as one of Kingpin's henchmen. During an attack by Kingpin's henchmen at May Parker's home, Prowler chased after the new Spider-Man, but relented after learning that the new Spider-Man was Miles. He was soon shot in the back by Kingpin for hesitating, and said these words to Miles before dying.<br />
<br />
*'''Dog - Pig - Dog - Pig - Pig - Loaf of bread. System error.'''<br />
**Who: The PAL robots<br />
**Source: ''[[The Mitchells vs. the Machines]]'' (2021)<br />
**Note: The PAL robots stop working when they saw Monchi from a video, "Dog Cop" in the billboard which was hacked by Eric and Deborahbot, who were inspired by Rick Mitchell to help them stop the apocalypse. The other PAL robots are also seen when Katie used Monchi as a magnetic shield.<br />
<br />
*'''No! NOT THE GLASS OF ''WATER!'''''<br />
**Who: PAL<br />
**Source: ''[[The Mitchells vs. the Machines]]'' (2021)<br />
**Note: PAL ends up in a glass of water, causing her to panic and scream like a gibbon monkey until she explodes to death, freeing all people all over the world from the hands of the PAL machine apocalypse.<br />
<br />
*'''Li Na, listen to me. I'm sorry. I tried to save it, but the business is bankrupt. I wanted you to have everything, but I left with nothing.'''<br />
**Who: Mr. Wang<br />
**Source: ''Wish Dragon'' (2021)<br />
**Note: He ended up falling from a large scaffolding by Pockets. Before Mr. Wang took his last breaths, he told his daughter, Li Na that he left with nothing because his business is bankrupt. However, he revives after Long grants his last wish.<br />
<br />
*'''Din.'''<br />
**Who: Long<br />
**Source: ''Wish Dragon'' (2021)<br />
**Note: His last words are spoken before he turns into gold by Pockets from an accident. However, he came back to earth to serve 10 more masters after giving a condition to revive Mr. Wang because he forgot to give Din a third wish.<br />
<br />
*'''Well, at least you'll make a good statue in my office.''' ''[accidentally punched Long, causing him to turn into gold. Din then finishes him by kicking Pocket's chest, causing Pockets to fall into the edge of the road bridge while his body that his hand touched turns into gold]'' '''No!'''<br />
**Who: Pockets<br />
**Source: ''Wish Dragon'' (2021)<br />
**Note: He attempts to punch Din using his golden hands by his wish granted by Long. However, he missed by accident on punching Long who was invisible, turning him into gold. With that, Din finally get to finish Pockets by kicking him out from the dragon, causing Pockets to fall into the edge of the road bridge while his hand touches the body, turning him into gold. His body breaks when he landed into the edge of the road bridge, leaving him just pieces of gold.<br />
<br />
*'''Mmm... Ay, Vivo.'''<br />
**Who: Andrés Hernández<br />
**Source: ''Vivo'' (2021)<br />
**Note: Said when Andrés noticed that Vivo left him for a short time. He then slept that night, but died that morning in the cause of nocturnal death.<br />
<br />
*'''I'm a goofy goober, yeah! You're a goofy goober, yeah! We're all goofy goobers, yeah! Goofy... Goofy... Goober... Goober... yeah.'''<br />
**Who: SpongeBob SquarePants and Patrick Star <br />
**Source: ''[[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]]'' (2004)<br />
**Note: Sang this song before turning into non-living things after being put near the light by The Cyclops. But, eventually the lightbulb burns out by the tear of the Goofy Goober going near the plug. And then the sprinklers go on and revives them and the rest of the fish in Shell City, which they finally arrived in to get King Neptune's Crown. <br />
<br />
*'''That's it! I'm through messing around! See you later, fools! Huh?''' ''[screams]''<br />
**Who: Dennis<br />
**Source: ''[[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]]'' (2004)<br />
**Note: Dennis is about to step on SpongeBob and Patrick, but the boat hurts Dennis and dies.<br />
<br />
*'''One... One... One... Eye...''' [ZigZag: One Eye?] '''...is... c-c-coming!''' [Princess Yum-Yum: One Eye?] [King Nod: ''[alarmed]'' One Eye?! Aah! ''[walks toward one of the palace windows]''] ''[sighs, then collapses]'' [King Nod: The dream! The nightmare!]<br />
** Who: The Dying Soldier (or The Fearless Scout)<br />
** Source: ''[[The Thief and the Cobbler]]'' (as ''The Princess and the Cobbler'' and later ''Arabian Knight'')<br />
<br />
*''[sobbing]'' '''MY MACHINE!''' ''[sobs]'' [King One Eyes' Slaves: Throne!] ''[gasping]''<br />
** Who: King One Eye<br />
** Source: ''[[The Thief and the Cobbler]]'' (as ''The Princess and the Cobbler'')<br />
<br />
*'''The greatest wizard has to know exactly when it's time--''' ''[steps on one of Tack the Cobbler's tacks]'' '''TO GOOOOOOOO!''' ''[falls into a hole]'' [The One Eyes' Alligators: ''[laughing]'' Look who dropped in!] '''My friends! My friends. Are you still here?''' [The One Eyes' Alligators: ''[opening their mouths]'' Ahhhh...] '''I haven't fed you yet I fear.''' ''[The One Eyes' Alligators began eating ZigZag as Phido landed outside the same hole]'' '''Oh! Ooh!''' [Phido: A smörgåsbord.] '''Ow, my bottom! Ow, my top! Greedies, don't you ever stop?!''' ''[Phido swoops down]'' [Phido: Here's... PHIDO!] '''You too, Phido? ...man's best friend? For ZigZag then... It is... The End.'''<br />
** Who: ZigZag<br />
** Source: ''[[The Thief and the Cobbler]]'' (as ''Arabian Knight'')<br />
** Note: Character had fallen into a hole, where he was confronted by the One Eyes' alligators, who he had earlier persuaded not to eat him. They eat him alive this time, and ZigZag implores them to stop, but he resigns himself to his fate when he sees his vulture, Phido, whom he had neglected throughout the movie, about to eat him too.<br />
<br />
*'''So, do we have a deal?!'''<br />
** Who: Smurfette<br />
** Source: ''[[Smurfs: The Lost Village]]'' (2017)<br />
** Note: Said this before sacrificing herself to save her friends by tricking Gargamel into transforming her back into her evil self. Her powers weaken Gargamel and it flings him, Azrael and The Howlbird out of his castle freeing the Smurfs and turning her into a lump of clay. Eventually, the Smurfs’ power turns her back into a Smurf.<br />
<br />
*'''I've got this. I know exactly what to do.'''<br />
** Who: Unnamed Former Samurai<br />
** Source: ''[[Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank]]'' (2022)<br />
** Note: Said this before he starts sweating after seeing how much bad cats they are and as such leaves with his horse, leaving Kakamucho surrounded to destruction. It is currently unknown where he went or if he died.<br />
<br />
*'''Take care of them...''' ''[sighs]'' '''Ronnie Anne. Take care of them.'''<br />
** Who: Rosa Casagrande<br />
** Source: ''The Casagrandes Movie'' (2024)<br />
** Note: Rosa, being the leader of the Casagrande family, symbolically acknowledges Ronnie Anne as her granddaughter before she succumbs to her injuries inflicted by Punguari, after she has been stabbed in her chest as she angrily roars and charges at her when Ronnie Anne got a scar in the arm.<br />
<br />
*'''Come back! Come back, you fools! Come back! Come back and fight! Dogs aren't DANGEROUS!'''<br />
** Who: General Woundwort<br />
** Source: ''Watership Down'' (1978)<br />
** Note: He calls these out to his rabbit forces when Bob the farmer's dog begins mauling them as they try to flee. Desperate, Woundwort makes a last stand against the dog as the narrator states his body was never found. It is likely that Woundwort lost his life.<br />
<br />
*'''I don't. Oh yes, my lord... I know you...'''<br />
** Who: Hazel<br />
** Source: ''Watership Down'' (1978)<br />
** Note: After the final battle, he speaks these to El-ahrairah who then offers him a place in Owsla. Then, Hazel passes away and his spirit moves on to Owsla.<br />
<br />
* '''Brother, brother, wait. When I am alone, when...I...have no one to scare...I...get very frightened myself. The crows could—''' ''[gasping]''<br />
** Who: Professor Screweyes<br />
** Source: ''We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story'' (1993)<br />
<br />
* [Mrs. Carrington-Moss: Seventy!] [Reggie: I say, you there! Stop!] '''NOOOOOOOOOW THEN!'''<br />
** Who: The Police Constable<br />
** Source: ''The Wind in the Willows'' (1983)<br />
<br />
* '''What's goin' on? You're a funny kind of washer-woman. And there's a train followin' us.''' [Toad: A train? ''[in fake female voice]'' Oh, dear kind Mr. Engine Driver, I'm not really a washerwoman. ''[sobs]'' ''[in normal voice]'' No! No, I'm- I'm a poor, unfortunate Toad, pursued by the law!] '''The law, eh? What did you do?''' [Toad: I only... borrowed a motorcar.] '''Borrowed, eh?''' [Toad: ''[gulps]''] '''Well, I don't hold with motorcars.''' [Mrs. Carrington-Moss: Stop him!] '''And I don't hold with bein' ordered about on me ol' engine.''' ''[applies the breaks]'' '''Go on, hop off!'''<br />
** Who: The Engine Driver<br />
** Source: ''The Wind in the Willows'' (1983)<br />
<br />
* '''Stop him!'''<br />
** Who: Mrs. Carrington-Moss<br />
** Source: ''The Wind in the Willows'' (1983)<br />
<br />
* '''I say!'''<br />
** Who: Reggie<br />
** Source: ''The Wind in the Willows'' (1983)<br />
<br />
* '''Oh, Reggie?'''<br />
** Who: Rosemary<br />
** Source: ''The Wind in the Willows'' (1983)<br />
<br />
* '''Look, Chief! It's ol' Badger!'''<br />
** Who: The Henchman Weasel<br />
** Source: ''The Wind in the Willows'' (1983)<br />
<br />
* [Toad: Ah-ha!] '''AAARGH! MR. TOAD?!'''<br />
** Who: The Chief Weasel<br />
** Source: ''The Wind in the Willows'' (1983)<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
{{fictional last words}}<br />
[[Category:Animated films|Last words]]<br />
[[Category:Fictional last words|Animated films]]</div>~2026-44937-18https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Last_words_in_Disney_animated_films&diff=3990443Last words in Disney animated films2026-08-18T13:38:18Z<p>~2026-44937-18: /* Pixar */</p>
<hr />
<div>The [[last words]] of various characters in [[w:The Walt Disney Company|Disney]] animated films.<br />
<br />
== Quotes ==<br />
===Disney Animated Canon===<br />
*['''The Old Hag:''' Don't let the wish grow cold.] ''[bites into the poisoned apple, which causes her to begin falling under a sleeping spell as the Old Hag looks on deviously]'' '''Oh, I feel strange.''' ''[gasps]'' [The Old Hag: ''[quietly]'' Her breath will still.] '''Oh...''' [The Old Hag: Her blood will congeal.] '''Oh...''' ''[gasps one more time, then collapses to the floor, dropping the bitten poisoned apple in the process]'' ['''The Old Hag (Queen Grimhilde):''' ''[laughs evilly as thunderclap is heard]'' Now I'll be fairest in the land! ''[laughs evilly]''<br />
** Who: Snow White<br />
** Source: ''[[Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937 film)|Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs]]'' (1937)<br />
** Note: After taking a bite from the poisoned apple she received from the old hag, she collapses to the ground unconsciously, succumbing to its "Sleeping Death". She is revived after the prince gives her a "true love's first kiss".<br />
<br />
*''[gasping]'' '''I'm trapped. What will I do? The meddling little fools.''' ''[As the Seven Dwarfs continue to pursue her, she grabs a stick and began using it to push a boulder]'' ''[panting]'' '''I'll fix ya... I'll crush ya... I'LL FIX YA! I'LL CRUSH YOUR BONES!''' ['''Grumpy:''' ''[alarmed]'' '''''LOOK OUT!''''']<br />
** Who: The Old Hag (Queen Grimhilde)<br />
** Source: ''[[Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937 film)|Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs]]'' (1937)<br />
** Note: The villain says this line after being chased up to the top of a cliff by the dwarfs, before trying to push a boulder down the cliff to kill them. However, before she can do this, lightning strikes the ridge she is standing by, the cliff breaks apart, and she falls, ending up being crushed by the boulder intended for the dwarfs. Seeing the old hag's remains, the vultures then fly down.<br />
<br />
*''[suspicious and horrified]'' '''Oh. Huh? What the--? What's goin' on?!''' ''[looks in the mirror and sees that he is turning into a donkey and screams in terror]'' '''AAAAAAAAH!!! I've been double-crossed! Help, help! SOMEBODY, HELP! I've been framed! HELP! Please, you've got to help me! Oh, be a pal! Call that beetle, call anybody!''' ''[his hands morph into hooves; Pinocchio gasps]'' '''Mama!''' ''[loudly]'' '''MAAAAAAAAAAMAAAAAAAAAA--!!!!''' ''[braying like a donkey]''<br />
** Who: Lampwick<br />
** Source: ''[[Pinocchio (1940 film)|Pinocchio]]'' (1940)<br />
** Note: Said after unknowingly being cursed, he realizes that he is transforming into a donkey as the curse starts to take effect. Shortly after he says this, his transformation is complete. He loses his ability to talk after being forced down onto all fours, leaving him still alive, though a deleted scene shows Lampwick still able to talk and warns Pinocchio to get out while he still can.<br />
<br />
*'''Hang on, Father!''' ['''Geppetto:''' ''[weakly]'' Save...yourself.]<br />
** Who: Pinocchio<br />
** Source: ''[[Pinocchio (1940 film)|Pinocchio]]'' (1940)<br />
** Note: Said this before being killed by a giant wave, trying to save his father Geppetto, but is later revived as a real boy by the Blue Fairy.<br />
<br />
*'''Bambi. Quick! The thicket!''' ''[gunshot]'' '''FASTER! FASTER, BAMBI! DON'T LOOK BACK! KEEP RUNNING! ''KEEP RUNNING!'''''<br />
** Who: Bambi's mother<br />
** Source: ''[[Bambi]]''<br />
** Note: Said when she notices Man in the forest, and after saying these words, the last of her that is seen is her jumping, and Bambi is seen running as Man shoots and kills her offscreen (this is often known for making audiences, kids and adults, cry). However, it's implied that Man is killed in the wildfire in the climax of the movie.<br />
<br />
*'''Listen. He's coming.''' ['''Unnamed Pheasant 2:''' Hush.] ['''Unnamed Pheasant 3:''' Be quiet.] '''He's coming closer.''' ['''Unnamed Pheasant 3:''' Be calm, don't get excited.] '''We better fly.''' ['''Unnamed Pheasant 2:''' No, no, don't fly. Whatever you do, don't fly.] '''He's almost here! ''I CAN'T STAND IT ANY LONGER!'''''<br />
** Who: Unnamed pheasant 1<br />
** Source: Bambi (1942)<br />
** Note: She says this to the other pheasants, trying to warn them a hunter is coming for them. She is then shot and killed by one offscreen while flying in panic; her body drops to the ground. However, it's implied that Man is killed in the wildfire in the climax of the movie.<br />
<br />
*'''Come back here! '''''COME BACK HERE!'''''<br />
** Who: Willie the Giant<br />
** Source: ''[[Fun and Fancy Free]]'' (1947)<br />
** Note: After Willie falls and crashes Earth, ventriloquist Edgar Bergen explains to Mortimer Snerd, who is crying over Willie's death, that Willie is just a fictional character. Then Willie himself appears, unharmed, lifting the roof and asking Edgar if he's seen Mickey Mouse around, but Edgar faints in shock while trying to answer him.<br />
<br />
*'''♪ ''Ohh, a pirate's life is a wonderful life'''''<br />
*'''''You'll find adventure and sport'''''<br />
*'''''But live every minute for all that is in it'''''<br />
*'''''The life of a pirate is sho-o-o-o-o-ort!'''''<br />
*'''''Oh, the li-i-i-- ♪'''''<br />
** Who: Skylights<br />
** Source: ''[[Peter Pan (1953 film)|Peter Pan]]'' (1953)<br />
** Note: Captain Hook shoots him with his pistol in annoyance.<br />
<br />
*'''No! It CANNOT BE!''' ''[magically transports herself and appears in front of Phillip]'' '''Now, shall you deal with ''me,'' O Prince, and all the powers of HELL!''' ''[She transforms into her gigantic dragon form, laughing evilly as Prince Phillip and the Three Good Fairies look on in horror]''<br />
** Who: Maleficent<br />
** Source: ''[[Sleeping Beauty]]'' (1959)<br />
** Note: Maleficent transforms into a black dragon after saying this. She is killed after Prince Phillip throws his sword into her heart.<br />
<br />
*'''Please, Master! Not go into evil cauldron.''' ['''Taran:''' If I don't, we're all lost. Out of my way!] '''No. Gurgi not let his friend die. Taran has many friends. Gurgi has no friends.''' ['''Taran:''' Gurgi, no. Don't jump. Wait! ''[Gurgi jumps into the Black Cauldron]'' '''''NO! NOOOOO!!!''''']<br />
** Who: Gurgi<br />
** Source: ''[[The Black Cauldron (film)|The Black Cauldron]]'' (1985)<br />
** Note: Said this to Taran before he sacrifices his life by jumping into the Cauldron to buy his masters time to escape the castle. He is later revived by the ugly witches in exchange for the destroyed Cauldron once The Horned King is defeated.<br />
<br />
*'''No! You'll not have me! My power cannot die! CURSE YOU! NO! NO!''' ''[screaming]''<br />
**Who: The Horned King<br />
**Source: ''[[The Black Cauldron (film)|The Black Cauldron]]'' (1985)<br />
**Note: The Horned King grabbed Taran and tried to throw him into the Black Cauldron, but the Cauldron pulled the Horned King in instead and dissolved him.<br />
<br />
*'''''♪ Oh, Ratigan, oh, Ratigan, you're at the top and that's that... ♪'' Oh dear. ''♪ To Ratigan, to Ratigan, to Ratigan... the world's greatest-- ♪'''''<br />
** Who: Bartholomew the Mouse<br />
** Source: ''[[The Great Mouse Detective]]'' (1986)<br />
** Note: Ratigan's henchman, Bartholomew, falls into some alcohol and emerges very drunk and calls his boss "the world's greatest rat". Since Ratigan hates being called a "rat" and prefers the term of "a big mouse", he angrily asks, "What was '''''that?!''''' What did you call me?", and sentences Bartholomew to death at the hands of his pet cat named Felicia, who eats him up while he's still drunkenly singing of Ratigan's glory, unaware of what is about to happen despite Ratigan telling him.<br />
<br />
*'''No! Not me! Wait, I can't fly! I can't fly!'''<br />
** Who: Fidget<br />
** Source: ''[[The Great Mouse Detective]]'' (1986)<br />
** Note: Professor Ratigan and his henchman Fidget, a peg-legged bat with a broken wing, are attempting to make their escape in a small pedal-powered airship with Olivia Flaversham as hostage. Fidget grows tired of pedaling and suggests lightening the load, gesturing towards Olivia. Ratigan comments, "Oh, you want to lighten the load? Excellent idea!" and throws Fidget out of the basket. He shouts these words as he pitifully flutters and finally falls towards the Thames River. A ''Disney Adventures'' comic reveals that he survived the fall and has reformed and become Olivia's sidekick.<br />
<br />
*'''I've won!''' ''[laughs evilly]'' ['''Basil:''' On the contrary! ''[Ratigan stops laughing, and sees Basil is alive, much to his shock]'' The game's not over yet!]<br />
** Who: Professor Ratigan<br />
** Source: ''[[The Great Mouse Detective]]'' (1986)<br />
** Note: Said after knocking Basil off Big Ben, thinking he's finally killed his nemesis. Basil reveals himself to be alive after saying, "On the contrary, the game's not over yet!", rings a bell, and the clock strikes midnight; the vibration from its loud bell knocks Ratigan off balance, causing him to plummet to his death.<br />
<br />
*''[chuckles]'' '''This has all been very entertaining. But the party is over.''' ''[almost snaps his fingers, but a bike horn is heard]'' ['''Fagin:''' Whoa! Come on, come on! Let's go!] '''''FAGIN!'''''<br />
** Who: Sykes<br />
** Source: ''[[Oliver & Company]]'' (1988)<br />
** Note: Fagin, previously in debt to Sykes, has rescued Jenny from being held for ransom to get money from him. An enraged Sykes pursues him to give Jenny back, Jenny, Oliver, and Dodger's gang across a railway, only to eventually be killed when he collides with a train.<br />
<br />
*'''This way.'''<br />
** Who: Flotsam and Jetsam<br />
** Source: ''[[The Little Mermaid]]'' (1989)<br />
** Note: Said before Ariel's first meeting with Ursula. In the climax of the movie, they are accidentally blasted by a ray from King Triton's trident and destroyed by Ursula, who tried to kill Eric, but Ariel saved him just in time.<br />
<br />
*''[laughs evilly]'' '''SO MUCH ''FOR "TRUE LOVE"!'''''<br />
** Who: Ursula<br />
** Source: ''[[The Little Mermaid]]'' (1989)<br />
** Note: Ursula has been referring to the romance of Ariel and Prince Eric, which she thought she had broken up. However, she may be referring to Triton's sacrifice for Ariel and how she is going to kill her anyway. She is then stabbed by the bow of a ship sailed by Eric immediately after saying this line, and consequently, Triton and all the mer-people, whom she transformed into polyps, revert to their original forms.<br />
<br />
*'''I whooped ya! I whooped ya all! You'll think twice before messin' with Percival C. McLeach!''' ''[sees Joanna waving to him and goes uncontrollably over the falls]'' '''No! AAAAAAHHHH! ''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!'''''<br />
** Who: Percival C. McLeach<br />
** Source: ''[[The Rescuers Down Under]]'' (1990)<br />
** Note: After scaring off a group of crocodiles closing in on him, McLeach goes over the waterfall, and plummets to his death.<br />
<br />
*'''It's over, Beast! BELLE IS MINE!''' ''[The Beast knocks down Gaston, then grabs him and takes him to the cliff]'' '''Let me go! Let me go! Please, don't hurt me! I'll do anything! ''ANYTHING!''''' ['''The Beast:''' Get out.]<br />
** Who: Gaston<br />
** Source: ''[[Beauty and the Beast (1991 film)|Beauty and the Beast]]'' (1991)<br />
** Note: Said this to convince the Beast to spare him after realizing that he cannot win, who soon sternly replies to him, "Get out." After the Beast reunites with Belle, however, Gaston stabs the Beast, but as a result of doing so, falls off the balcony to his death, judging by the fact that the animators added skulls to his pupils, signifying his death. In a deleted scene, Gaston was meant to survive the fall, though he gets eaten by a pack of wolves.<br />
<br />
*['''Cave of Wonders:''' Who disturbs my slumber?] '''It is-- It is I, Gazeem, a humble thief.''' ['''Cave of Wonders:''' Know this: Only one may enter here. One who's worth lies far within; a diamond in the rough.] ['''Jafar:''' What are you waiting for? Go on.]<br />
** Who: Gazeem<br />
** Source: ''[[Aladdin (1992 Disney film)|Aladdin]]'' (1992)<br />
** Note:<br />
<br />
*'''Shut ''UP!'''''<br />
** Who: Jafar<br />
** Source: ''Aladdin'' (1992)<br />
** Note: Genie flicks the lamp explosion disappear into the desert.<br />
<br />
*'''Scar! Brother! Help me!''' ''[Scar digs his claws into Mufasa's paws, making him roar in pain]'' ['''Scar:''' ''[mockingly]'' Long live the King.] ''[Scar throws him off the cliff into the stampede]'' '''''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!''''' ['''Young Simba:''' NOOOOOOOOO!]<br />
*'''Remember.'''<br />
** Who: Mufasa<br />
** Source: ''[[The Lion King (1994 film)|The Lion King]]'' (1994)<br />
** Note: Mufasa exclaimed the first line during the wildebeest stampede, and Scar mocking said, "Long live the King." before throwing him to his death. Later, Mufasa returned as a spirit, to encourage Simba to take his place as King of the Pride Lands, and the second line he says is the final line of the movie.<br />
<br />
*'''Ahhh, my friends.''' ['''Shenzi:''' ''[chuckles]'' "Friends"? I thought he said we were the enemy.] [Banzai: Yeah, that's what I heard.] [Shenzi and Banzai: Ed?] ''[Ed chuckles deviously and slurps, as the many other hyenas approached Scar, laughing together]'' '''No, let-- No, l-l-l-let-- Let me explain! No, you don't understand! No, I didn't mean it! NO, NO! NO, I DIDN'T... I-I WAS MEANT-- I-- NO, NO!'''<br />
** Who: Scar<br />
** Source: ''The Lion King'' (1994)<br />
** Note: Scar had previously blamed his hyena minions for Mufasa's death in an attempt to gain mercy from Simba, not knowing that they had been listening. After being defeated by Simba, and thrown off into the embers below, he is surrounded and torn to shreds by his former minions.<br />
<br />
*['''Nakoma:''' Kocoum.] '''What is it?''' ['''Nakoma:''' It's Pocahontas.] '''What's wrong? Is she alright?''' ''['''Nakoma:''' I think she's in trouble.]''<br />
** Who: Kocoum<br />
** Source Pocahontas (1995)<br />
** Note: Said before he goes to find Pocahontas, only to see her kissing John Smith, making him attack John, and Thomas shoots Kocoum in the chest, killing him instantly.<br />
<br />
*''[muffled]'' '''How dare you?! Untie me at once! I'll have your heads for this!''' ['''Wiggins:''' ''[sniffles]'' And he came so highly recommended. ''[sighs sadly]'']<br />
** Who: Governor Ratcliffe<br />
** Source: ''[[Pocahontas]]'' (1995)<br />
** Note: He shot John Smith by accident, arrested, put in chains and gagged. <br />
<br />
*'''"And [[w:God in Christianity|he]] shall smite the wicked, and ''plunge'' them into [[w:Hell|the fiery pit]]!"'''<br />
** Who: [[w:Claude Frollo|Claude Frollo]]<br />
** Source: ''[[The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996 film)|The Hunchback of Notre Dame]]'' (1996)<br />
** Note: Ironically quoted the Bible seconds before he plunges to his death into a lake of molten lead, weighed down by a gargoyle, which appeared to roar in his face shortly before breaking off with him clinging to the underside.<br />
<br />
*'''ME BITE OFF ''HEAD!''''' ''[laughs evilly]''<br />
** Who: Cyclops<br />
** Source: ''[[Hercules (1997 film)|Hercules]]'' (1997)<br />
** Note: When about to kill a powerless Hercules, he is blinded with burning wood by the hero, who then trips him by wrapping a rope around his ankles. He tumbles over a cliff to his death.<br />
<br />
*'''Get away from me! Don't touch meǃ Get your slimy souls off me!''' ['''Panic:''' He's not gonna be happy when he gets out of there!] [Pain: You mean, ''if'' he gets out of there.] '''Taxi!''' ['''''Panic:''''' "If".] '''''Taxi!''''' ['''Panic:''' "If" is good.] '''I don't feel so good, I feel a little ''FLUUUUUUUUUSHED!'''''<br />
** Who: Hades<br />
** Source: ''[[Hercules (1997 film)|Hercules]]'' (1997)<br />
** Note: Said after Hercules saves Megara and punches him in the River Styx, which the souls traps and him down into its depths. Later in the ending of the end credits, Hades' voice is heard saying that everyone's got a happy ending but him. Then he asks if anyone's listening and if he's talking to hyperspace.<br />
<br />
*'''It looks like you're out of ideas.''' ['''Mulan:''' ''[takes his sword from him]'' Not quite. Ready, Mushu?!] ['''Mushu:''' I am ready, baby! Light me!]<br />
** Who: Shan-Yu<br />
** Source: ''[[Mulan]]'' (1998)<br />
** Note: The villain says this line after chasing Mulan up to the top of the palace roof. But Mulan uses her fan to take the sword from him and replies, "Not quite." And uses it to pin his coat to the roof, leaving him unable to get out of the way of a big fireworks rocket ignited by Mushu. Shan-Yu is then launched by the fireworks supply, blowing him up.<br />
<br />
*'''Go ahead, shoot me.''' ''[chuckles]'' '''Be a man.''' ''[evilly laughs, but Tarzan angrily puts the rifle to his neck, silencing him. However, he realistically imitates a gunshot]'' ''[shocked]'' '''Oh.''' ['''Tarzan:''' ''[angrily]'' Not a man like '''''you!''''']<br />
** Who: Clayton<br />
** Source: ''[[w:Tarzan (1999 film)|Tarzan]]'' (1999)<br />
** Note: Clayton, facing Tarzan, said this when he was holding his rifle to his head. Tarzan angrily puts the rifle to his neck, but instead of actually shooting him, Tarzan imitates a gunshot, then replies, "Not a man like '''''you!'''''" in which he smashes the rifle. Then Clayton attacks in a rage with a machete. In his rage, he slices through several vines, one of which wraps around his neck and suspends him, ending in him hanging himself when the vine snaps his neck, and the shadow of his corpse is seen through some lightning briefly making the sky bright.<br />
<br />
*''[weakly]'' '''Tarzan.''' ['''Tarzan:''' Kerchak. Forgive me.] '''No. Forgive me for not understanding that you have always been one of us. Our family will look to you now.''' ['''Tarzan:''' No. Kerchak.] '''Take care of them...my son. {{small|Take care of them.}}'''<br />
** Who: Kerchak<br />
** Source: ''[[Tarzan (1999 film)|Tarzan]]'' (1999)<br />
** Note: Said after Clayton was hung to death, but he was on the verge of death after being fatally shot by Clayton earlier.<br />
<br />
*'''Bruton, we've been walking in circles. There's no water here. I think we should get back.'''<br />
** Who: Iguanodon scout<br />
** Source: ''[[Dinosaur (film)|Dinosaur]]'' (2000)<br />
** Note: While looking for water, Bruton and the scout are ambushed by two Carnotaurs, and the scout is killed.<br />
<br />
*'''I'll hold them off! You help the others!'''<br />
** Who: Bruton<br />
** Source: ''[[Dinosaur (film)|Dinosaur]]'' (2000)<br />
** Note: Bruton battles the two Carnotaurs and buries them by causing a rockslide, but dies after being crushed himself.<br />
<br />
*'''No. No.'''<br />
** Who: Kron<br />
** Source: ''Dinosaur'' (2000)<br />
** Note: Said when he sees the sheer drop that Aladar was talking about and notices the Carnotaur.<br />
<br />
* '''Do your worst!'''<br />
** Who: Viking Captain<br />
** Source: ''[[Atlantis: The Lost Empire]]'' (2001)<br />
** Note: In the deleted opening, while searching for Atlantis, he encounters the Leviathan, and as it massacres is crew, he is crushed by his own falling mast, then his body is blown to pieces offscreen by the ensuing explosion.<br />
<br />
*''[in Atlantian]'' '''Kida! Just leave it! There's no time!'''<br />
** Who: Queen Kashem Nedakh<br />
** Source: ''[[Atlantis: The Lost Empire]]'' (2001)<br />
** Note: A hypnotic blue light and lifted up into the Heart of Atlantis.<br />
<br />
*''[referring to Kida]'' '''If she remains bonded to the Crystal, she could be lost to it forever. The love of my daughter is all I have left. My burden would have become her's when the time was right, but now...''' ''[removes his Crystal]'' '''...it falls to you.''' ['''Milo:''' ''[shocked]'' Me?] '''Return the Crystal.''' ''[weakly coughs]'' '''Save Atlantis. Save my daughter.'''<br />
** Who: King Kashekim Nedakh<br />
** Source: ''[[Atlantis: The Lost Empire]]'' (2001)<br />
** Note: Said to Milo as the character dies from internal bleeding after being punched by Rourke and confers on him the task of retrieving Kida and saving Atlantis. Nedakh was very old and frail, which is why he was mortally wounded when Rourke punched him.<br />
<br />
*''[weakly]'' '''Nothing personal.'''<br />
** Who: Helga Sinclair<br />
** Source: ''[[Atlantis: The Lost Empire]]'' (2001)<br />
**Note: Helga, having been thrown from a hot-air balloon by Rourke, who uttered the same words while doing so, fires a gun at the balloon as she lies on the ground, causing it to descend. Although her death is never confirmed on-screen, the place is flooded by lava a little later, so it is highly likely that she died.<br />
<br />
*'''Tired, Mr. Thatch? Hyah! Ah, that's a ''darn shame.'' 'Cause I'm ''JUST GETTING WARMED UP!'''''<br />
** Who: Lyle Tiberius Rourke<br />
** Source: ''[[Atlantis: The Lost Empire]]'' (2001)<br />
** Note: Rourke, facing Milo Thatch aboard a hot-air balloon, is about to strike but is cut by a shard of glass from Kida's container, crystallizing his body. He is still alive after the crystallization, however, but is killed soon after when his body is chopped up by the balloon's propeller.<br />
<br />
*'''He'll be comin' soon. Can't let them find this!''' ['''Jim Hawkins:''' Who's coming?] ''[whispers]'' '''{{small|The cyborg! Beware...the cyborg!}}'''<br />
** Who: Billy Bones<br />
** Source: ''[[Treasure Planet]]'' (2002)<br />
** Note: Spoken to Jim about Long John Silver, after being mortally wounded when his spaceship crashed.<br />
<br />
*'''All sails secured, Captain!''' ['''Captain Amelia:''' Good man! Now, release them immediately!] ''[confused, but acceptingly]'' '''Aye, Captain. You heard her, men! Unfurl those sails!'''<br />
** Who: Mr. Arrow<br />
** Source: ''[[Treasure Planet]]'' (2002)<br />
** Note: Mr. Arrow says this line while on board a spaceship, but is killed when he is sucked overboard into a black hole when Scroop cuts his lifeline.<br />
<br />
*'''Oh, yes. Do say hello to Mr. Arrow.''' ['''Jim:''' Tell him yourself!]<br />
** Who: Scroop<br />
** Source: ''[[Treasure Planet]]'' (2002)<br />
** Note: Scroop killed Mr. Arrow earlier by cutting his lifeline and sending him down a black hole. At that moment, he is about to kill Jim Hawkins similarly, but Jim pulls himself toward the mast, and Scroop notices and jumps toward him, but after saying, "Tell him yourself!", Jim manages to push Scroop aside, and Scroop ends up stuck in the ship's flag, and floats out into space with a scream, never to be seen again.<br />
<br />
*'''What?'''<br />
** Who: Sitka<br />
** Source: ''[[Brother Bear]]'' (2003)<br />
** Note: Said before he ends up in a battle with a bear but ends up sacrificing himself to save his brothers.<br />
<br />
*'''Koda?'''<br />
** Who: Koda's mother<br />
** Source: ''[[Brother Bear]]'' (2003)<br />
** Note: Said before she got killed by Kenai.<br />
<br />
*['''Sci-fi version of Chicken Little:''' Runt! Are you alright?!] '''No. You gotta go on without me, Commander. Just save me some ammo, a little water, some chips if you have 'em.''' ['''Runt:''' ''[lip-synchs to the character's lines; whispers to Fish]'' This is amazingly accurate.]<br />
** Who: Sci-fi version of Runt of the Litter<br />
** Source: ''[[Chicken Little (2005 film)|Chicken Little]]'' (2005)<br />
** Note: A character in an over-the-top sci-fi version of Chicken Little's encounter with the aliens. Apparently shot down by an alien ship and says this over a ship intercom before dying.<br />
<br />
*'''Doris? I thought she was my friend.'''<br />
** Who: Bowler Hat Guy the Michael<br />
** Source: ''[[Meet the Robinsons]]'' (2007)<br />
** Note: Said after Doris is erased from the timeline.<br />
<br />
*'''Y'all should've taken my deal. Now, you gonna rest of your life bein' a slimy, little frog.''' ''[evil laugh]'' ['''Tiana:''' I got news for you, Shadow Man. It's not slime. It's mucus!] ''[Tiana uses her long tongue to snatch the Talisman, making him gasp in shock, and she destroys the Talisman]'' '''No! ''NO!'' Aah! How am I every gonna pay back my debt?!''' ''[sees The Shadows; scared]'' '''Friends!''' ['''The Shadows:''' '''''♪ ARE YOU READY?! ♪'''''] '''No! I'm not ready at all! In fact, I've got lots more plans!''' ['''The Shadows:''' '''''♪ ARE YOU READY?! ♪'''''] '''This is just a minor setback in a major operation! ''AAAH!'' Soon as I whip up another spell, we'll be back in business! I still got that froggy prince locked away! I just need a little more time! No, no, please, no--! ''AAAAAAAH!'' Just a little more time! I promise I'll pay y'all back! ''I PROMISE! AAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!'''''<br />
** Who: Dr. Facilier<br />
** Source: ''[[The Princess and the Frog]]'' (2009)<br />
** Note: Spoken when Dr. Facilier tries to plead with the Shadows when Tiana breaks his voodoo talisman. Having lost his talisman, and the leverage he needed to collect souls for them, he is unable to pay back his debt to them, and as punishment, they drag him to "[[w:Hell|The Other Side]]".<br />
<br />
*['''Rapunzel:''' Eugene, wha--?] '''''NO!''''' ''[Rapunzel's hair turns brown and loses power]'' '''Oh, no! ''NO!'' What have you done?! ''WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! NO!''''' ''[sees her true self in the broken mirror]'' '''NO! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!''' ''[gets tripped by Pascal]'' '''''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!'''''<br />
** Who: Mother Gothel<br />
** Source: ''[[Tangled]]'' (2010)<br />
**Note: After Flynn Rider cuts Rapunzel's hair, its magical effects wear off, and Mother Gothel's true age catches up with her. As she panics, she gets tripped over Rapunzel's hair by Pascal the Chameleon, and falls out of the tower to her death, aging into dust before she hits the ground.<br />
<br />
*'''Hoo-hoo-hoo! You fools! Why are you going into the li--?''' ''[his eyes turn blue]'' '''Ohh... Ohh... No! N-no! Hoo-hoo! No! Yes! No-- Yes! Yeah! No! Hoo-hoo-ha! Go into the li-- ''AAAAAAAH!!!!'''''<br />
** Who: King Candy<br />
** Source: ''[[Wreck-It Ralph]]'' (2012)<br />
** Note: As King Candy had been transform into a bug partially Cy-Bug-based form, the Cy-Bug side of him was attracted towards a Mentos-Diet Coke soda pop eruption and started to destroy the other Cy-Bugs. As his King Candy side tries to resist the pull towards the eruption bottle zap light, he is ultimately dragged into it and vaporized; because video game characters who die outside their games never regenerate, he is gone for good.<br />
<br />
*''[notices Hans ready to kill Elsa with his sword]'' '''Elsa?''' ''[choosing between saving Elsa and being kissed by Kristoff, she chooses to save Elsa]'' '''''NO!!!!''''' ''[her entire body freezes into ice, which shatters Hans' sword and she makes one last breath]''<br />
** Who: Anna<br />
** Source: ''[[Frozen (2013 film)|Frozen]]'' (2013)<br />
** Note: Says this before sacrificing herself to save Elsa from being killed by Hans, freezing into solid ice from the inside out, and shattering his sword. However, she unfreezes due to constituting an "act of true love" and it helps Elsa bring back summer by unfreezing Arendelle.<br />
<br />
*['''Hiro:''' '''''TADASHI, NO!!!!'''''] '''Callaghan's in there. Someone has to help.'''<br />
** Who: Tadashi Hamada<br />
** Source: ''[[Big Hero 6 (film)|Big Hero 6]]'' (2014)<br />
** Note: Says this to Hiro before he tries to save Professor Callaghan from a fire at the Expo Hall. He was killed in the ensuing explosion from the fire.<br />
<br />
*'''There is still a way I can get you both to safety. I cannot deactivate until you say you are satisfied with your care.''' ['''Hiro:''' No, no, no, wait. What about you?] '''You are my patient.''' ['''Hiro:''' Baymax, I...] '''Your health is my only concern.''' ['''Hiro:''' Stop! I'm gonna figure out...] '''Are you satisfied with your care?''' ['''Hiro:''' No! There's gotta be another way! I'm not gonna leave you here! I'll think of something!] '''There is no time. Are you satisfied with your care?''' ['''Hiro:''' Please, no! I can't lose you too!] '''Hiro, I will always be with you.''' ['''Hiro:''' I'm satisfied with my care.]<br />
** Who: Baymax<br />
** Source: ''[[Big Hero 6 (film)|Big Hero 6]]'' (2014)<br />
** Note: Says this to Hiro after he got smashed by one of the building parts on their way out of the portal to rescue Callaghan's daughter, Abigail. After that accident, he is forced to stay in the portal by telling Hiro to say that he is satisfied with his care, even if it means dying in the process. Hiro was worried about losing Baymax like he did with Tadashi after the explosion. However, in the pilot of the series and the epilogue of the movie, he is rebuilt by Hiro using his healthcare chip. <br />
<br />
*'''Go.''' ['''Moana:''' Gramma?] '''Go.''' ['''Moana:''' Not now. I can't.] '''You must, the ocean chose you. Follow the fishhook,''' ['''Moana:''' Gramma...] '''...and when you find Maui, you grab him by the ear and say "I am Moana of Motunui. You will board my boat, sail across the sea, and restore the heart of Te Fiti."''' ['''Moana:''' ''[voice breaking]'' I can't leave you.] '''There is nowhere you could go where I won't be with you.''' ''[long pause]'' '''Go.'''<br />
*'''You're a long ways past the reef.''' ['''Moana:''' Gramma?] '''Guess I chose the right tattoo.''' ['''Moana:''' Gramma! I tried, Gramma, I couldn't do it.] '''It's not your fault. I never should've put so much on your shoulders. If you’re ready to go home, I will be with you.''' ''[long pause]'' '''Why do you hesitate?''' ['''Moana:''' I don't know.]<br />
** Who: Gramma Tala<br />
** Source: ''[[Moana (2016 film)|Moana]]'' (2016)<br />
** Note: Says this to Moana before dying of old age. She tells her to leave Motunui, find Maui, and deliver him across the sea to restore the heart of Te Fiti. Later on, when that backfires, she returns to her as a stingray and turns into a phantom to comfort her. After Moana hesitates to return home, she sings [[w:I am Moana (Song of the Ancestors)|an inspirational song]] to encourage her to do it on her own. After that, she disappears, never to be seen as a stingray until the very end of the film.<br />
<br />
*'''Antohallan has to be the source of her magic.'''<br />
*'''We must keep going for Elsa.'''<br />
*'''The waves are too high!'''<br />
*'''Iduna!'''<br />
*'''Agnarr!'''<br />
** Who: King Agnarr and Queen Iduna<br />
** Source: ''[[Frozen II]]'' (2019)<br />
** Note: Shown through an ice sculpture memory created by Elsa that they were submerged along with their ship.<br />
<br />
*''[notices Runeard getting ready to kill his soldier with his sword]'' '''''NO!!!!''''' ''[realizes she's freezing into ice]'' '''Anna...!''' ''[sends Anna a message before freezing into ice]''<br />
** Who: Elsa<br />
** Source: ''[[Frozen II]]'' (2019)<br />
** Note: Says this before freezing to ice upon venturing into the deepest part of Ahtohallan and learning the dark truth of King Runeard. She is later revived once the dam is destroyed.<br />
<br />
*'''What's this?''' ['''Anna:''' Are you okay?] '''I'm flurrying? Wait, no. That's...that's not it. I'm flurrying away. The magic in me is fading.''' ['''Anna:''' ''[gasps]'' What?] '''I don't think Elsa's okay.''' ''[Anna gasps]'' '''I think...she may have gone too far.''' ['''Anna:''' No, no.] '''Anna, I'm sorry. You're gonna have to do this next part on your own. Okay?''' ['''Anna:''' Wait. Come here. I've got you.] ''[weakly]'' '''That's good. Hey, Anna? I just thought of one thing that's permanent.''' ['''Anna:''' What's that?] '''Love.''' ['''Anna:''' Warm hugs?] '''I like warm hugs.''' ['''Anna:''' I love you.]<br />
** Who: Olaf<br />
** Source: ''[[Frozen II]]'' (2019)<br />
** Note: With Elsa frozen into ice, snowflakes of Olaf come off of him and he begins to disintegrate. Olaf tells Anna that she has to tell everyone that Runeard is a fraud and destroy the dam on her own. Last thing he said to Anna was remembering that love is permanent. After that, the magic of him gets out of the cave and it goes to the mountain where the magic of him turns to snow dust, killing him in the process. He is later revived by Elsa once the curse upon the forest is lifted.<br />
<br />
*['''Raya:''' Stand up! I'll help...] '''Raya, you have to listen, you are the Guardian of the Dragon Gem.''' ['''Raya:''' Ba, why are you saying this?] '''There's still light in this. There's still hope.''' [Raya: No! We can make it together.] '''Raya. Don't give up on them. I love you, my dewdrop.''' ['''Raya:''' Ba? ''[he pushes Raya off the bridge to save her from The Druun]'' '''''NO!!!''''' ''[he then turns into stone]'' '''''BA!!!''''']<br />
** Who: Chief Benja <br />
** Source: ''[[Raya and the Last Dragon]]'' (2021)<br />
** Note: When Raya gets tricked by Namaari into taking her to the temple where The Legend of Sisu Dragon Gem is, the rest of the Five Lands fight over it. When Chief Benja tries to make peace with them, he is shot in the leg by an arrow and the Dragon Gem gets shattered into five pieces, thus awakening the Druun. Everyone tries to escape, but are turned into stone. Raya tries to escape with her father, but when he realizes that they can't make it, he sacrifices himself to save her by pushing her off the bridge and turning into stone. Six years later, he is revived by the Dragon Gem power after the Druun are defeated.<br />
<br />
*'''I trust you, Namaari.'''<br />
** Who: Sisu<br />
** Source: ''[[Raya and the Last Dragon]]'' (2021)<br />
** Note: Sisu glows as she wants to trust Namaari, but Raya avoids the attack, and Namaari fires at Sisu accidentally. Then Sisu drowns in water afterwards. She is later revived by the Dragon Gem power after the Druun are defeated.<br />
<br />
*'''Everyone, give me your gems, we can still put it together, it can still work.'''<br />
*'''Sisu's gone, Raya, we don't have her magic!'''<br />
*'''It's not about her magic, it's about trust.'''<br />
*'''What?'''<br />
*'''That's why it worked. That's why we can do it, too, by doing the one thing, Sisu wanted us to do, what my Ba wanted us to do, to finally trust each other and fix this, but we have to come together, please.'''<br />
*'''After what she's done?'''<br />
*'''We'll never trust her!'''<br />
*'''Then let me take the first step.'''<br />
*'''Raya! No!'''<br />
** Who: Raya, Namaari, Tong, and Boun<br />
** Source: ''[[Raya and the Last Dragon]]'' (2021)<br />
** Note: The gang end up surrounded by the Druun, and Raya realizes that the only way to defeat it is to put all the gem pieces back together. When they refuse to help Namaari (following her recent backlash for killing Sisu), Raya decides to take the first step by going through the Druun, turning into stone. Devastated, they decide to listen to her and give Namaari the gem pieces and put them back together, and join Raya as they turn into stones as well. When Namaari puts all the gem pieces back together and joins the gang to turn into stone, the Dragon Gem power defeats the Drunn and revives every human and dragon, even Sisu (even though she was shot in the chest with a bow earlier).<br />
<br />
*'''Yes, Captain Pulk.'''<br />
** Who: Duffle<br />
** Source: ''[[Strange World (film)|Strange World]]'' (2022)<br />
** Note: Later during the first battle, Duffle gets eaten by one of the wyvern-like creatures and causes the Venture Ship to almost crash-land, but Meridian saves it by saying "Not today."<br />
<br />
*'''There's another way. There's always another way. There's another way to reach the island! There's another way!''' ['''Kele:''' No! Moana, you can’t!] ['''Moni:''' It’s too far!] '''Find Maui!''' ['''Loto:''' Moana!] ['''Kele:''' No! Moana!]<br />
** Who: Moana<br />
** Source: ''[[Moana 2]]'' (2024)<br />
** Note: After Maui loses his powers, Moana finds another way and dives in underwater all the way down deep to the bottom. When she touches the ocean ground with the light of her hand to save the world, she gets struck to death by a purple lightning coming from Nalo. Then a powerless Maui and spirits, especially Gramma Tala, joins together to restore Moana, which she gets her powers from her paddle and tattoos on her arm, which revives her.<br />
<br />
===Pixar===<br />
*''[deeply scared]'' '''The toys! The toys are alive!''' ''[sees Hannah's doll and recoils a bit]'' '''N-N-Nice toy. ''AAAAAAAAAH!!!!'''''<br />
** Who: Sid Phillips<br />
** Source: ''[[Toy Story]]'' (1995)<br />
** Note: Hannah, happily sensing Sid scared, chases him and mockingly asks, "What's wrong, Sid? Don't you wanna play with Sally?" 11-12 years later, Sid (it's implied that he had therapy, which worked for him) is seen in the Tri-County Landfill, working as a garbage man, in a cameo appearance in ''[[Toy Story 3]]'' (2010)<br />
<br />
*['''Flik:''' Hopper!] '''You think it's over?!''' ['''Flik:''' No, no, no. No, I-I can explain.] '''All your little stunt did was buy them time!''' ['''Flik:''' No, please! Please, Hopper!] '''I'll get more grasshoppers and be back ''next'' season, but you ''won't.''''' ''[the bird chirps]'' '''Well, what's this? Another one of your little bird tricks?''' ['''Flik:''' Yep.] '''Are there a bunch of little girls in this one, too? Hello, girls!''' ''[the bird screeches really loudly at him]'' '''AAAAAH!!!!''' ''[the bird flies shortly and jumps at him]'' '''AAAAAH! Aah! Aah! Oh!''' ''[the bird got Hopper using her beak]'' '''A-AAAAAAAH!!!! Ah! No! No! ''NOOO,'' NO, NO, NO! Aah! Aah! Aah! A-AAH-AAAH-AAAAH!!!! AAAAAAAAH!!! NO! OH, ''NOOOO!!!'' OH, NO! NO, NO, NO! ''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'''''<br />
** Who: Hopper<br />
** Source: ''[[A Bug's Life]]'' (1998)<br />
** Note: He corners Flik near a bird's nest and strangles him. A bird pops out from the nest and Hopper thinks the bird is one of Flik's tricks, but he soon realizes that she is real. Hopper screams and tries to escape, but the bird blocks his path as she snatches him in her beak in one swift move and takes him to her nest where he is eaten by her newborn chicks, thus ending his reign of terror on the ant colony.<br />
<br />
*'''Not today, Zurg!'''<br />
** Who: Utility Belt Buzz<br />
** Source: ''[[Toy Story 2]]'' (1999)<br />
** Note: Said this before being vaporized by Zurg. But it turns out to be a video game Rex has been playing.<br />
<br />
*'''Good throw, son! That's my boy. Go long, Buzzy!'''<br />
** Who: Emperor Zurg<br />
** Source: ''[[Toy Story 2]]'' (1999)<br />
** Note: Zurg fires another ball for Utility Belt Buzz to catch.<br />
<br />
*['''Buzz Lightyear:''' Gotcha!] '''IDIOTS! CHILDREN DESTROY TOYS! YOU'LL ALL BE RUINED, FORGOTTEN, SPENDING ETERNITY ROTTING IN SOME LANDFILL!''' ['''Woody:''' Well, Stinky Pete, I think it's time you learned the true meaning of "playtime". ''[smiles and points off-screen]'' Right over there, guys!] '''No! NO! ''NOOOOOO!!''''' ''[mouth zoom wipe]''<br />
** Who: Stinky Pete<br />
** Source: ''[[Toy Story 2]]'' (1999)<br />
** Note: Buzz and his friends put him into Amy's backpack for trying to force Woody and the rest of the Roundup Gang to Konoshi Toy Museum in Tokyo.<br />
<br />
*''[Weeping on TV]'' '''Welcome to Al's Toy Barn. We've got the lowest prices in town. Everything for a buck-buck-buck.''' ''[starts sobbing]'' ['''Hamm:''' Well, heh, I guess crime doesn't pay.]<br />
** Who: Al McWhiggin<br />
** Source: ''[[Toy Story 2]]'' (1999)<br />
** Note: Al cries over his loss of collector's items and his failure of bringing Woody and the rest of the Roundup Gang to Japan.<br />
<br />
*['''CDA Agent:''' I'll get him. All right, come with us. Sir.] '''Wh-what are you doing?! T-Take your hands off me! You can't arrest me! I hope you're happy, Sullivan! You destroyed this company, Monsters, Incorporated is dead! Where will everyone get their scream, now?! THE ENERGY CRISIS WILL ONLY GET WORSE ''BECAUSE OF YOU!!!''''' ''[door slams]''<br />
** Who: Henry J. Waternoose III<br />
** Source: ''[[Monsters, Inc.]]'' (2001)<br />
** Note: Gets arrested by the CDA, after being tricked by Sulley and Boo (it's implied that her real name is Mary, much like her voice actress, Mary Gibbs), and exposed by Mike of what he yelled about.<br />
<br />
*'''Fishy!'''<br />
** Who: Darla Sherman<br />
** Source: ''[[Finding Nemo]]'' (2003)<br />
** Note: Said after Gill helps Nemo escape.<br />
<br />
*'''Barbara?''' ['''Barbara:''' Uh-huh?] '''I don't understand it. Here this thing has a lifetime guarantee, and it breaks! I had to clean the tank myself, take all the fish out, put 'em in bags and--''' ''[sees the counter is empty]'' '''Where did the fish go?'''<br />
** Who: Philip Sherman<br />
** Source: ''[[Finding Nemo]]'' (2003)<br />
** Note: Said in mid-credit scene.<br />
<br />
*'''This isn't the end of it! I will get your son, eventually! I'll get your son!''' ''[laughs evilly, then gasps in shock]'' '''Oh, no.'''<br />
** Who: Syndrome<br />
** Source: ''[[The Incredibles]]'' (2004)<br />
** Note: Line is spoken before the villain's cape gets caught in one of his plane's turbines. Bob Parr/Mr. Incredible throws his car at Syndrome, making him fall and get sucked into the turbine by his cape and the plane explodes.<br />
<br />
*''[arrogantly]'' '''Come on, baby, bring it out! Bring out the Piston Cup! Ka-chicka! Ka-chicka!''' ''[the Piston Cup is pushed toward him, and it hits him with a clang]'' '''Yeah-heh-hah! Now, ''that's'' what I'm talking about! Hey, how come the only one celebrating is me, huh? Where are the girls? Bring on the confetti!''' ''[he is struck twice with the confetti at close range]'' '''''OW! OW!'' Easy with the confetti. What's going on? Come on, snap some pictures. I got to go sign my deal with Dinoco! Ka-chicka! Say it with me! Ka-chicka!''' ''[the crowd, his fans and the media, hostilely and angrily boos him]'' ''[angrily]'' '''What's wrong with everybody?!''' ''[gets pelted with his own merchandise]'' '''''OW!'' Where's the happiness?! ''HEY! THIS IS THE START OF THE CHICK-ERA!''''' ''[escapes with the Piston Cup]''<br />
** Who: Chick Hicks<br />
** Source: ''[[Cars]]'' (2006)<br />
** Note: This happens after Chick cheats (doing an illegal PIT maneuver on Strip "The King" Weathers) to get the Piston Cup, but everyone, even his own "fans", turned on him, forcing him to escape, and it's implied that he was arrested and charged with attempted murder and sentenced to 5 years in an impound lot, and once released, he was banned from racing for life, and only became a racing announcer, as seen in ''[[Cars 3]]'' (2017).<br />
<br />
*'''No. It can't be. Who cooked the Ratatouille?! I demand to know!'''<br />
** Who: Chef Skinner <br />
** Source: ''[[Ratatouille]]'' (2007)<br />
** Note: Chef Skinner says this, sees the colony of rats, drops his sunglasses, and is tied up the rope tape and thrown into the fridge.<br />
<br />
*['''Captain McCrea:''' AUTO, you are relieved of duty!] '''Noooooooooooo...'''<br />
** Who: AUTO<br />
** Source: ''[[WALL-E]]'' (2008)<br />
** Note: Gets switched to manual mode by Captain McCrea.<br />
<br />
*'''Any last words, Fredricksen?! Come on, spit it out!''' ''[Carl spits his retainer at him]'' '''Ugh!''' ''[Carl then puts his retainer back in his mouth]'' '''''ENOUGH!''''' ''[swinging his sword at his prized possessions]'' '''I'm taking that bird ''back'' with me, ''ALIVE...OR DEAD!'''''<br />
** Who: Charles Muntz<br />
** Source: ''[[Up]]'' (2009)<br />
** Note: Carl walks backwards with Kevin from Muntz who destroys his prized possessions with a sword. Charles later pursues Carl up to the inside of the floating house they are standing on, and he jumped out of the door, only to get his foot tied up by some balloons, causing him to fall to his death.<br />
<br />
*'''Where's your kid now, Sheriff?'''<br />
** Who: "Lotso" Lots-O'-Huggin' Bear<br />
** Source: ''[[Toy Story 3]]'' (2010)<br />
** Note: Once Lotso is safe from the incinerator, he runs off, leaving the toys for death. However, after the toys are saved, they want to get revenge on Lotso, but Woody says, "Forget it, guys. He's not worth it." In the next scene, Lotso thinks he got off scot-free, but instead, he's proven wrong, as he is tied to the front of a garbage truck.<br />
<br />
*'''Thanks, guys.'''<br />
** Who: Andy Davis<br />
** Source: ''Toy Story 3'' (2010)<br />
** Note: Said when he looks at his childhood toys after he had donated them and had one last playtime before going to college.<br />
<br />
*'''NO!!!'''<br />
** Who: Rod "Torque" Redline<br />
** Source: ''[[Cars 2]]'' (2011)<br />
** Note: In the secret lair, Rod is tied down and fueled with "Allinol", and Professor Zündapp demonstrates what happens when cars fueled with Allinol are exposed to an electromagnetic pulse. As a result, Rod dies from spontaneous combustion after saying this line. His death is only shown as a barely visible reflection in the photo.<br />
<br />
*'''Huh?'''<br />
** Who: Mor'du<br />
** Source: ''[[Brave]]'' (2012)<br />
** Note: Said after Merida unmasked him as the mastermind behind the crash rocks sabotage and as the leader of the syndicate.<br />
<br />
*['''Joy:''' ''[after she successfully escaped the memory dump]'' Whoo-hoo! Bing Bong! We did it! We-- ''[shocked]'' Bing Bong? Bing Bong!] '''Ya-ha-ha! You made it! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Go! Go save Riley! Ha-ha-ha! Take her to the moon for me. Okay?'''<br />
** Who: Bing Bong<br />
** Source: ''[[Inside Out (2015 film)|Inside Out]]'' (2015)<br />
** Note: After Bing Bong sacrifices himself to help Joy blast out of the memory dump with his rocket (reportedly, his voice actor, Richard Kind, teared up and choked up when recording Bing Bong's final line).<br />
<br />
*'''Who's the birthday girl?'''<br />
** Who: Jangles the Clown<br />
** Source: ''[[Inside Out (2015 film)|Inside Out]]''<br />
** Note: Said during the end credits.<br />
<br />
*'''RUN, ARLO!'''<br />
** Who: Poppa Henry<br />
** Source: ''[[The Good Dinosaur]]'' (2015)<br />
** Note: He is killed by the rushing rapids after saying this to his son to get him to escape from a flash flood.<br />
<br />
*'''The storm provides!'''<br />
** Who: Thunderclap<br />
** Source: ''[[The Good Dinosaur]]'' (2015)<br />
** Note: Said when he tries to get Spot to drown. He then failed when Arlo roared and Spot bit his left wing, leaving a hole in it. Thunderclap tries to get away, but his left wing got a hole thanks to Spot and Arlo threw a log at him. With that, Thunderclap becomes flightless, leading him to fall into the river and drown.<br />
<br />
*'''And how far back is she now?''' ['''Ray:''' ''[via headset]'' Look behind you.] '''What?''' ['''Cruz Ramirez:''' Good evening, Storm!] '''Wait, how did you--?''' ['''Cruz Ramirez:''' Just back here drafting on your butt. Nothing to be concerned about.] ['''Lightning McQueen:''' Like two June bugs on a summer night!] ''[Smokey laughs]'' ['''Cruz Ramirez:''' ''[laughs]'' Hey, Hamilton!] ['''Hamilton:''' Hamilton, here.] ['''Cruz Ramirez:''' Call out our speed!] ['''Hamilton:''' 208 miles per hour. 207 miles per hour.] '''Would you stop that?! You're taking me off my line!''' ['''Lightning McQueen:''' Last lap!] ['''Smokey:''' Come on, Cruz!] ['''Cruz Ramirez:''' ''[sarcastically]'' Uh-oh! My GPS is saying I have traffic in my way!] '''No, no, no, you are not winning this!''' ['''Cruz Ramirez:''' Ah, you're angry!] '''I am ''not'' angry!''' ['''Cruz Ramirez:''' You know, you can use that anger to push through!] '''''I SAID I'M NOT ANGRY!''''' ''[Cruz tries passing him on the left]'' '''Oh, I don't think so!''' ''[Cruz tries to pass him on the right]'' '''NO!''' ''[slams Cruz into the wall]'' ['''Lightning McQueen''': Cruz, get out of there!] '''You don't belong on this track!''' ['''Cruz Ramirez''': '''''Yes, I DO!''''' ''[flips over him]'']<br />
** Who: Jackson Storm<br />
** Source: ''[[Cars 3]]'' (2017)<br />
** Note: Said before Cruz Ramírez flips over him to win the 2017 Florida 500.<br />
<br />
*''[weakly]'' '''Brings back memories. ''Gracias.'''''<br />
** Who: Chicharrón<br />
** Source: ''[[Coco (2017 film)|Coco]]'' (2017)<br />
** Note: Said before "The Final Death" happens to him.<br />
<br />
*'''''♪ Until you're in my arms again, remember me! ♪'''''<br />
*'''Nice kitty...Put me down! ''NO, PLEASE!!'' I'm beggin' you! Stop, stop! Ow, ow!''' '''''NOOOOO!!! NOOOO!!! AAAAH!!!'''''<br />
** Who: Ernesto de la Cruz<br />
** Source: ''Coco'' (2017)<br />
** Note 1: Was flattened to death by a giant bell during one of his performances in 1942.<br />
** Note 2: Ernesto flies away from Pepita and is crushed to death by a giant bell again.<br />
<br />
*'''The fact that you saved me doesn't make you right.''' ['''Helen Parr/Elastigirl:''' But it does make you alive.]<br />
** Who: Evelyn Deavor<br />
** Source: ''[[Incredibles 2]]'' (2018)<br />
** Note: Said after she is arrested near the ending of the movie.<br />
<br />
*['''Mei:''' '''''All I wanted...was to go to a CONCERT!'''''] '''I never went to concerts! I put my family first! I tried to be a good daughter!''' ['''Mei:''' ''[not buying her pain and suffering from her past]'' '''''WELL SORRY I'M NOT PERFECT, SORRY I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH, AND SORRY I'LL NEVER BE LIKE YOU!''''']<br />
**Who: Ming Lee<br />
**Source: ''[[Turning Red]]'' (2022)<br />
**Note: Ming gets knocked out unconscious with a headbutt by her daughter at Rogers Centre (SkyDome (1989-2005), at the time), shutting her up, but she is revived by the family ritual with the help of Mei's friends and 4★TOWN and has her panda spirit released.<br />
<br />
*'''Goodbye, Buzz. I'm sorry I won't be there to see you finish the mission. To infinity--''' ['''Buzz:''' ''[reluctantly]'' And beyond.]<br />
** Who: Alisha Hawthorne<br />
** Source: ''[[Lightyear (film)|Lightyear]]'' (2022)<br />
** Note: Alisha sent her final message to Buzz before she died of old age.<br />
<br />
*''[weakly]'' '''Promise me one thing. Marry...fire.'''<br />
** Who: Ember's grandmother<br />
** Source: ''[[Elemental (2023 film)|Elemental]]'' (2023)<br />
** Note: When Ember interrupts yet another love test to a couple, Cinder reveals to Ember that her maternal grandmother's dying wish was for her to find someone like her to love. The scene switches to a flashback/cutaway scene with Ember's grandmother about to die of old age and saying this line before disappearing into nothingness.<br />
<br />
*''[weakly]'' '''I really ''do'' love it when your light does that.'''<br />
** Who: Wade Ripple<br />
** Source: ''[[Elemental (2023 film)|Elemental]]'' (2023)<br />
** Note: During the flood in Element City, Wade comes back to The Fireplace to save Ember, and their way out is blocked and is vaporized away near her. He is later revived by Ember playing The Crying Game, which makes the water drops fill the bucket.<br />
<br />
*'''Cowards! You wanted us to fight back, so we’re fighting back. You mammals disgust me. You call yourself intelligent? You’re so stupid. When will you learn it’s squish or be squi-–'''<br />
** Who: The Insect Queen<br />
** Source: ''[[Hoppers (film)|Hoppers]]'' (2026)<br />
** Note: She accidentally gets squished by Mabel in her robotic beaver body.<br />
<br />
*'''How dare you ignore me? I’ll burn the whole world down! Only the insects will-–'''<br />
** Who: Titus, the Insect King<br />
** Source: ''[[Hoppers (film)|Hoppers]]'' (2026)<br />
** Note: He gets eaten by the Amphibian King.<br />
<br />
=== 20th Century Animation ===<br />
''See also [[Last words in 20th Century Studios animated films]]''<br />
<br />
=== Hyperion Animation ===<br />
*'''So...it's back to that stupid static again. You think I don't know what's going on in here? I know what goes on in this cottage. It's a conspiracy, and every one of you low-watts is in on it. Just because you move around, you think you're better than I am! I'M NOT AN INVALID; I WAS ''DESIGNED'' TO STICK IN A WALL! I ''LIKE'' BEING STUCK IN THIS ''STUPID WALL!'' I can't help it if the kid was too short ''TO REACH MY DIALS!''''' ['''Toaster:''' We didn't mean it! Really!] '''''IT'S MY FUNCTION!'''''<br />
** Who: Air Conditioner<br />
** Source: ''[[The Brave Little Toaster (film)|The Brave Little Toaster]]'' (1987)<br />
** Note: After being insulted by Kirby, the character gets angry and overheats before blowing himself up. After the appliances lament the character's loss, Kirby says, "Well, he was a jerk anyway." Later on in the film, after finding the cabin in a mess, the Master, Rob, fixes the air conditioner, making him good as new, and after he notices himself as good as new, he sees Rob, and happily tears ups after realizing that Toaster was right all along.<br />
<br />
=== Other (DTV sequels etc.) ===<br />
* '''My eyes! I can't see! No! No!'''<br />
** Who: Colonel Muska<br />
** Source: ''[[w:Castle in the Sky|Castle in the Sky]]'' (1986) (anime dubbed by Disney in 1999 cancelled release/2003 release)<br />
** Note: Colonel Muska is defeated by Sheeta and Pazu, becomes blinded, and falls to his death.<br />
<br />
* '''Unless Acme's will shows by midnight tonight, Toontown's gonna be land for the free-'''<br />
** Who: R.K. Maroon<br />
** Source: ''[[Who Framed Roger Rabbit]]'' (1988)<br />
**Note: R.K. Maroon was attempting to explain the reason why Marvin Acme was killed. Judge Doom, who had murdered Acme, shot him before the crime could be revealed.<br />
<br />
* '''"Nose"? ''That'' don't rhyme with "Walls"?''' ['''Eddie Valiant:''' No, but ''this'' does!]<br />
** Who: Smarty<br />
** Source: ''[[Who Framed Roger Rabbit]]'' (1988)<br />
** Note: When Eddie and Roger start singing a humorous song to kill the villainous Weasels, knowing that they can laugh themselves to death, Smarty says the above line when he notices an error in their song. Eddie then replies, "No, but ''this'' does!", sending Smarty flying with a kick to the groin, and he lands in a toxic chemical known as "The Dip".<br />
<br />
* '''Bye-bye! Hee-hee-hee-hee!'''<br />
** Who: Psycho<br />
** Source: ''[[Who Framed Roger Rabbit]]'' (1988)<br />
** Note: One of the villainous Weasels, who starts laughing uncontrollably when Eddie and Roger sing a humorous song, accidentally falls into a toxic chemical known as "The Dip".<br />
<br />
* '''I'M MELTING! MELTING! WAUGH-WAUGH-WAAAH! Oh no...'''<br />
** Who: Judge Doom<br />
** Source: ''[[Who Framed Roger Rabbit]]'' (1988)<br />
** Note: After revealing to Eddie that he is a toon, the villainous Doom tries to kill him, but Eddie unleashes a giant torrent of Dip at Doom, causing him to scream this line as he melts in a giant pool of the thinner until he was nothing more than a puddle of melted yellow and red paint.<br />
<br />
* '''MY TALISMAN!'''<br />
** Who: Merlock<br />
** Source: ''[[w:DuckTales the Movie: Treasure of the Lost Lamp|DuckTales the Movie: Treasure of the Lost Lamp]]'' (1990)<br />
** Note: Merlock, transfigured into a griffin-like form, was defeated by Scrooge McDuck after having his talisman removed - this restored him to his normal form in the sky, causing him to fall to his death from the clouds.<br />
<br />
* '''So long, Jack!''' ''[laughs maniacally]'' [Jack Skellington: How dare you treat my friends so SHAMEFULLY?!] ''[gasps]'' '''No, no, no! Jack, don't! NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE! My bugs! MY BUGS! My bugs, my bugs, my bugs-!'''<br />
** Who: Oogie Boogie<br />
** Source: ''[[The Nightmare Before Christmas]]'' (1993)<br />
** Note: After Jack Skellington pulls on a loose string, unraveling him, a mass majority of his bugs fall into a lava pit, only for the surviving bug to be crushed by Santa.<br />
<br />
* ''[laughs evilly]'' '''Good help is SO hard to find these days, isn't it, Aladdin?''' ''[resumes his evil laughter, but gasps when he sees Iago using the last of his strength to kick his lamp down to the pit of lava]'' '''My lamp! NOOOOOO!!!!'''<br />
** Who: Jafar<br />
** Source: ''[[The Return of Jafar]]'' (1994)<br />
** Note: After Jafar blasts Iago with a powerful attack; in a last-ditch effort, Iago pushes Jafar's lamp into a pit of lava. The lamp melts as Jafar screams in rage and agony, before finally exploding, killing him.<br />
<br />
* [Mickey Mouse: Wait, you're not gonna...] '''Put your brain in his body?''' ''[imitates buzzer]'' '''That's right!''' ''[laughs diabolically]''<br />
** Who: Dr. Frankenollie<br />
** Source: ''[[w:Mickey Mouse in Runaway Brain|Mickey Mouse in Runaway Brain]]'' (1995)<br />
** Note: During his plan to switch Mickey's brain with that of Frankenstein's monster-esque Julius, Frankenollie says these words before his experiment, though successful, causes an explosion that vaporizes and kills him.<br />
<br />
*[James: I can't find it.] Mother: '''Try looking at it another way.''' [James: ''[tilts his head to see the cloud that shapes like the Empire State Building]'' I see it!] Father: '''That's where we're going, on the great ship that will take us across the ocean, and we'll go right to the top of that building. The three of us...on top of the world.''' [James: Are there any kids there like me?] '''Hundreds of them. It's a wonderful place, James. A city where dreams come true.'''<br />
** Who: James' Parents<br />
** Source: ''[[James and the Giant Peach (film)|James and the Giant Peach]]'' (1996)<br />
** Note: They are eaten by a rhino that appears out of nowhere, forcing their son to live with his two mean aunts Spiker and Sponge.<br />
<br />
*'''Nobody's going anywhere. Give the Hand of Midas to ''me,'' Cassim, or your son dies!''' ['''Cassim:''' Sa'luk, you battle is with me!] ['''Aladdin:''' Don't worry, Dad, I can take him alone.] ['''Cassim:''' ''[quietly]'' But you're not alone. ''[stares at the Hand of Midas]'' Not anymore. ''[to Sa'luk]'' You want the Hand of Midas, Sa'luk? Take it!] ''[in slow motion, he throws the Hand of Midas to Sa'luk, who pushes Aladdin away, and, at normal speed, catches it]'' '''The Hand of Midas is ''mine!'' Ha-ha-ha-ha! And also, the life of your brat.''' ''[Cassim smirks]'' '''Hmm?''' ''[to Aladdin, who is looking at him in horror]'' '''What are ''you'' staring at?''' ''[realizing what's happening]'' '''Ohh. No! No! ''NO! NO! AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!''''' ''[turns into a gold statue]''<br />
** Who: Sa'luk<br />
** Source: ''[[Aladdin and the King of Thieves]]'' (1996)<br />
** Note: When he threatens to kill Aladdin, Aladdin's father, Cassim, decides to keep Aladdin alive by throwing the Hand of Midas to him. He catches it by the golden section instead of the bronze handle. Consequently, the hand turns him into a gold statue, which falls off the edge and into the water.<br />
<br />
* '''Is this HAPPY enough for you, Master?! I know I'm downright...GIDDY!''' [Fife: Master! The keyboard!] '''Huh...what?! WHAT?! NOOOOO!!!!''' [Beast: ''[sympathetically and mournfully]'' Forte.]<br />
** Who: Forte<br />
** Source: ''[[w:Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas|Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas]]'' (1997)<br />
** Note: Forte attempted to destroy the castle and kill everyone in it to prevent the spell from breaking, so he can stay in his form as a pipe organ, and thus live forever. Fortunately, Beast stops him and destroys his keyboard. Enraged, Forte causes himself to crash down to the ground, silencing him forever as he falls.<br />
<br />
* [Zira: Nuka.] '''I'm sorry, Mother. I tried.''' [Zira: Shhhhhh.]<br />
** Who: Nuka<br />
** Source: ''[[The Lion King II: Simba's Pride]]'' (1998)<br />
** Note: Nuka said this after chasing Simba, who goes up a pile of logs to escape from Zira and the other Outsiders. Simba escapes, but the logs come falling on him, causing his death. The line is originally going to include "Well, I finally got your attention, didn't I? Didn't I...", and him squeezing out from under the logs, but it was scrapped.<br />
<br />
* '''Where are you going? Get back here!''' [Simba: Let it go, Zira. It's time to put the past behind us.] '''I'll ''never'' let it go! This is for you, Scar!'''<br />
** Who: Zira<br />
** Source: ''[[The Lion King II: Simba's Pride]]'' (1998)<br />
** Note: Zira was about to attack Simba when Simba's daughter, Kiara, suddenly knocks her aside. They both fall down a cliff towards the rapids of a gorge with a rushing river full of logs. Although Kiara tries to save her, Zira falls to her death as she screams while considering the offer. The original concept was to have Zira about to whisper with reply "No. Never!", and deliberately let go of the cliff, but it was also scrapped.<br />
<br />
* [Melody: Grandfather, I think this is belongs to ''You!'' ''[Throws the trident]''] ''[pushes Melody off the cliff while trying to reach the trident]'' '''NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!''' ''[ Melody falls, but was saved by Tip and Dash, while the trident returns to King Triton]'' [King Triton: Never again will you or yours threaten my family. There will be no escape for you! '''EVER!'''] ''[turned into iceberg, and sinks to the depths as the iceberg collapse]'' '''Mommy?'''<br />
** Who: Morgana<br />
** Source: ''[[The Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea]]'' (2000)<br />
** Note: After Melody throws the trident to her maternal grandfather, King Triton, who fires at Morgana into an iceberg, and falls into the water pit; she dies into it.<br />
<br />
* '''You go. There's one more thing I've got to do. It's my only chance.'''<br />
** Who: Spot<br />
** Source: ''[[Teacher's Pet (2004 film)]]''<br />
** Note: The human Spot says this as he stands in front of a laser beam, hoping that it will turn him back into a dog. The machine seemingly kills him. In grief, Leonard kicks the machine, and it resumes, turning Spot back into a dog.<br />
<br />
* [Lilo: Stitch, you're gonna be okay now. Please be okay.] ''[weakly]'' '''Stitch...sorry.''' ''[shuts down with his last breath]'' [Lilo: ''[heartbroken]'' Stitch.]<br />
** Who: Stitch<br />
** Source: ''[[Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has a Glitch]]'' (2005)<br />
** Note: Says this to Lilo before he shuts down after his badness level increases. Later, Jumba, Pleakley, David, and Nani find Stitch dead. Lilo tells Jumba that the Fusion Chamber is not working, which informs Jumba to realize that they ran too late to save him, causing everyone to weep. But the system recharges him, and he gets revived.<br />
<br />
* '''That's right! Run! Run like the cowardly prey that you are! I will hunt you down!''' ['''Samson''': Everyone to the boat!] '''Top of the food chain, ma! Top of the food cha--AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-OW!!''' ['''Koala doll''': I'm so cuddly, I like you! I'm so cuddly, I like you! I'm so cuddly, I like you!] '''Uh-oh.'''<br />
** Who: Kazar<br />
** Source: ''[[The Wild (film)|The Wild]]'' (2006)<br />
** Note: Kazar attempts to kill Samson and Ryan and, after an intense battle, Blag and the rest of the wildebeests refuse to serve Kazar any further. Samson gains the courage he needs and roars powerfully enough to push back a charging Kazar. The animals, along with the wildebeests, flee except Kazar, who is trapped in the erupting volcano, in which he gets crushed to death by a falling rock.<br />
<br />
* '''Our song.'''<br />
** Who: Marina<br />
** Source: ''[[The Little Mermaid: Ariel's Beginning]]'' (2008)<br />
** Note: A ocean animals attack marina.<br />
<br />
* [Scrooge: Are they yours?] '''They are mens. This boy is Ignorance. This girl is Want. Beware them both.'''<br />
** Who: The Ghost of Christmas Present<br />
** Source: ''[[A Christmas Carol (2009 film)|A Christmas Carol]]'' (2009)<br />
** Note: After Present revealed Scrooge what hidden in his robe which is Ignorance and Want, the loud clock bell tolls louder at the strikes of 12, which it kills him. As Present is still laughing, skin dust blow away to become skeleton, then the dust of skeleton blows away afterwards, leaving Scrooge alone with clock still ticking.<br />
<br />
<br />
* '''Would you like a complete destruction now?''' [A blueberry hits "Yes"] '''Destruction in progress.'''<br />
** Who: Terrafirminator<br />
** Source: ''[[Gnomeo & Juliet]]'' (2011)<br />
** Note: Said before making a jump and crashes into Juliet's castle place, making an explosion.<br />
<br />
* '''Two old RVs? Oh, no... I-It's Harvey and Winnie! We met them earlier! They're looking for the place they had their first kiss!''' [Windlifter: Augerin Canyon. That's at the other end of the park.] '''I can get there the fastest!''' [Windlifter: The canyon will be engulfed in flames and you have no retardant!] '''I'll scoop off the river, there's a clear stretch of water!''' ''[pauses]'' ''' Windlifter, I can do it.''' [Windlifter: Go. And be safe.]<br />
** Who: Dusty Crophopper<br />
** Source: ''[[Planes: Fire and Rescue]]'' (2014)<br />
** Note: Said before going to save Harvey and Winnie from the flaming and collapsing bridge at Augurin Canyon, and since there was no time to load up water from the river, he pushes himself up the waterfall to reload, pushing his torque over 80% which effectively destroys his failing reduction gearbox not long after extinguishing the fire, and crashing fatally. He is later repaired by Maru and wakes up five days later, having been given a new handmade gearbox out of recycled parts.<br />
<br />
* '''That's right. You and I no longer have to quarrel, and most importantly, we have peace.'''<br />
** Who: Akela<br />
** Source: ''[[The Jungle Book (2016 film)|The Jungle Book]]'' (2016)<br />
** Note: While Shere Khan is chilling next to Akela, he furiously throws him off the cliff, killing him.<br />
<br />
* '''Did you think I would let you grow old? Either I'll devour you, or the Red Flower will! It's just a matter of time. How long did you ''really'' think you'd survive against me? Longer than your father did? Longer than...''Akela''?!'''<br />
** Who: Shere Khan<br />
** Source: ''[[The Jungle Book (2016 film)|The Jungle Book]]'' (2016)<br />
** Note: During their battle, Mowgli lures Shere Khan up a dead tree, defeating him by causing him to fall into the fire to his death.<br />
<br />
* '''Scar! Help me!'''<br />
* '''Remember.'''<br />
** Who: Mufasa<br />
** Source: ''[[The Lion King (2019 film)|The Lion King]]'' (2019)<br />
** Note: Mufasa, who was hanging on a cliff trying to get away from a blue wildebeest stampede after saving his son Simba, pleads for Scar to help him, but Scar refuses, grabbing Mufasa's paws, mockingly says "Long live the king", and then slaps him from the cliff into the stampede, straight to his death. Mufasa years later appears in the clouds as a spirit, convincing his son to return to Pride Rock and reclaim his place as king. The next line is the last word he says; the last word of the movie.<br />
<br />
* '''My friends...it will take some time, but together, we will build our army!''' [Kamari: "Friends", huh? I thought you said we were revolting scavengers.] [Azizi: Yeah! That you wanted to kill us!] '''No! No, let me explain! I was trying to fool him! We will rule together!''' [Shenzi: There's only one true thing you ever said, Scar: "A hyena's belly is never full."] '''NOOOOO!!!!'''<br />
** Who: Scar <br />
** Source: ''[[The Lion King (2019 film)|The Lion King]]'' (2019)<br />
** Note: Scar had previously blamed his hyena minions for Mufasa's death in an attempt to gain mercy from Simba, not knowing that they had been listening. After being defeated by Simba, and thrown off into the embers below, he is surrounded and torn to shreds by his former minions.<br />
<br />
* '''I didn’t kill him… you did.'''<br />
** Who: Kiros<br />
** Source: ''[[Mufasa: The Lion King|Mufasa: The Lion King]]'' (2024)<br />
** Note: Said before he slashes Taka's eye, leaving a scar, while Kiros drags Mufasa into an underwater cavern. A rockfall allows Mufasa to defeat Kiros.<br />
<br />
==See also==<br />
*[[Fictional last words in films]]<br />
*[[Fictional last words]]<br />
*[[Fictional last words in animated films]]<br />
<br />
[[Category:Traditionally animated films]]<br />
[[Category:American computer-animated films|*Disney animated films]]<br />
[[Category:Fictional last words|Disney animated films]]<br />
[[Category:The Walt Disney Company]]</div>~2026-44937-18https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Beauty_and_the_Beast_(1991_film)&diff=3990430Beauty and the Beast (1991 film)2026-08-18T12:57:13Z<p>~2026-44937-18: </p>
<hr />
<div>{{italic title}}<br />
[[File:Beauty and the Beast in a Disneyland parade.JPG|thumb|right|In a Walt Disney World parade.]]<br />
'''''[[w:Beauty and the Beast (1991 film)|Beauty and the Beast]]''''' is an American [[w:1991 in film|1991 animated film]] about a prince cursed to spend his days as a hideous monster who sets out to regain his humanity by earning a young woman's love. It was produced by [[w:Walt Disney Animation Studios|Walt Disney Feature Animation]] and released by Walt Disney Pictures<br />
:''Directed by [[w:Gary Trousdale|Gary Trousdale]] and [[w:Kirk Wise|Kirk Wise]]. Written by [[w:Roger Allers|Roger Allers]], [[w:Kelly Asbury|Kelly Asbury]], [[w:Brenda Chapman|Brenda Chapman]], [[w:Jeanne-Marie Leprince de Beaumont|Jeanne-Marie Leprince de Beaumont]], [[w:Tom Ellery|Tom Ellery]], [[w:Kevin Harkey|Kevin Harkey]], [[w:Robert Lence|Robert Lence]], [[w:Burny Mattinson|Burny Mattinson]], [[w:Brian Pimental|Brian Pimental]], [[w:Joe Ranft|Joe Ranft]], [[w:Chris Sanders|Chris Sanders]], [[w:Bruce Woodside|Bruce Woodside]] and [[w:Linda Woolverton|Linda Woolverton]], based on the [[w:Beauty and the Beast|fairy tale of the same name]] by [[w:Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve|Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve]], and based on 18th-century France, Paris.<br />
:''Music by [[Alan Menken]]'' and includes "[[w:Beauty and the Beast (Disney song)|Beauty and the Beast]]". Written by [[w:Howard Ashman|Howard Ashman]] and performed by [[w:Peabo Brysonf|Peabo Bryson]] and [[w:Celine Dion|Celine Dion]].<br />
{{center|'''The most beautiful love story ever told.'''}}<br />
<br />
== Princess Belle ==<br />
* What is this place? Phillipe, please, steady. ''[enters the gate and sees Maurice's hat on the ground]'' Papa.<br />
* That's funny, I'm sure there was someone... Is there anyone here?<br />
* ''['''Gaston''': If I didn't know better, I'd think you had feelings for this monster.]'' He's no monster, Gaston. You are! ''['''Gaston''': She's as crazy as the old man. The Beast will make off with your children. He'll come after them in the night.]'' No. ''['''Gaston''': We're not safe till his head is mounted on my wall! I say we kill the Beast!]''<br />
* ''['''Beast''': You came back.]'' Of course I came back. I couldn't let them... This is all my fault. If only I'd gotten here sooner. ''['''Beast''': Maybe it's better this way.]'' Don't talk like that. You'll be all right. We're together now. Everything's going to be fine, you'll see. ''['''Beast''': At least I got to see you one last time.]'' No. No. Please. Please. Please don't leave me. ''[sobs softly, laying her face against Beast's chest]'' I love you.<br />
<br />
== Prince Adam/The Beast ==<br />
* Yes... but you must promise to stay here forever.<br />
* The castle is your home now, so you can go anywhere you like, except the west wing. ''['''Belle''': What's in the West--] [growls]'' It's forbidden!<br />
* You will join me for dinner! THAT'S NOT A REQUEST!<br />
<br />
== Gaston ==<br />
* ''['''LeFou''': So, how'd it go?]'' I'll have Belle for my wife. Make no mistake about that.<br />
* Take whatever booty you can find, but remember, the Beast is mine!<br />
* If I didn't know better, I'd think you had feelings for this monster. ''['''Belle''': He's no monster, Gaston. You are!]'' She's as crazy as the old man. The Beast will make off with your children. He'll come after them in the night. ''['''Belle''': No.]'' We're not safe till his head is mounted on my wall! I say we kill the Beast!<br />
* Get up. Get up. What's the matter, Beast? Too kind and gentle to fight back?<br />
<br />
== Lumière ==<br />
* Ma chère, mademoiselle. It is with deepest pride pleasure and greatest pride that I welcome you tonight. And now, we invite you to relax. Let us pull up a chair as the dining room proudly presents...your dinner.<br />
* Don't you see? She's the one. The girl we have been waiting for. She has come to break the spell!<br />
<br />
== Cogsworth ==<br />
* Couldn't keep quiet, could we? Just had to invite him to stay, didn't we? Serve him tea, sit in the master's chair, pet the pooch.<br />
* Dinner is served.<br />
<br />
== Mrs. Potts ==<br />
* How would you like a nice spot of tea, sir? It'll warm you up in no time. ''['''Cogsworth''': No. No tea. No tea!]''<br />
* Well, you can start by making yourself more presentable. Straighten up, try to act like a gentleman.<br />
<br />
== Chip Potts ==<br />
* Mama. There's a girl in the castle. ''['''Mrs. Potts''': Now, Chip, I'll not have you making up such wild stories.]'' Really, Mama. I saw her. ''['''Mrs. Potts''': Not another word. Into the tub.]'' ''[FiFi: A girl. I saw a girl in the castle.]'' See, I told you.<br />
* You guys gotta try this thing.<br />
<br />
== Maurice ==<br />
* If no one will help me, then I'll go back alone. Yes, is that everything? I don't care what it takes. I'll find that castle and somehow, I'll get her out of there.<br />
* Hitch up Philippe, girl. I'm off to the fair!<br />
<br />
== Others ==<br />
* '''Tavern Man''': Maurice?<br />
* '''Monsieur D'Arque''': So you want me to throw her father in the asylum unless she agrees to marry you? ''[They both nod in agreement]'' Oh, that is despicable. I love it!<br />
* '''Tom''': Who?<br />
* '''Dick''': Is it a big beast?<br />
* '''Stanley''': With a long, ugly snout?<br />
* '''Walter''': And sharp, cruel fangs?<br />
<br />
== Dialogue ==<br />
:'''Narrator''': ''[first lines]'' Once upon a time, in a faraway land, a young prince lived in a shining castle. Although he had everything his heart desired, The Prince was spoiled, selfish, and unkind. But then, one winter's night, an old beggar woman came to the castle and offered him a single rose in return for shelter from the bitter cold. Repulsed by her haggard appearance, The Prince sneered at the gift and turned The Old Woman away, but she warned him not to be deceived by appearances, for beauty is found within. And when he dismissed her again, The Old Woman's ugliness melted away to reveal a beautiful enchantress. The Prince tried to apologize, but it was too late, for she had seen that there was no love in his heart, and as punishment, she transformed him into a hideous beast, and placed a powerful spell on the castle, and all who lived there. Ashamed of his monstrous form, The Beast concealed himself inside his castle, with a magic mirror as his only window to the outside world. The rose she had offered was truly an enchanted rose, which would bloom until his 21st year. If he could learn to love another, and earn her love in return by the time the last petal fell, then the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast for all time. As the years passed, he fell into despair, and had lost all hope, for who could ever learn to love a beast?<br />
:''[We have seen a progression of stained glass windows illustrating the narration, as well as Beast shredding his portrait, the camera slowly zooms out from the castle. A girl with beautiful, long, flowing and wavy brown hair tied up in a low ponytail tied up by a ribbon captivating, large, striking, expressive and round hazel eyes, full pink lips, fair skin, rosy cheeks, full, soft and slightly arched eyebrows, small and petite duchess nose, a heart-shaped round face and a sculpted, slim and well-proportioned figure, wearing a medium-length cerulean blue sleeveless dress with a white long puffy-sleeved shirt with a puffy collar underneath, a white apron around her waist, a white petticoat, and dark brown ballet flats with darker brown soles on her feet, her name is Belle. She exits the front door and begins her walk into town.]''<br />
:'''Belle''': ''[singing]'' Little town, it's a quiet village / Every day, like the one before / Little town, full of little people / Waking up to say?<br />
:'''Townsfolk #1''': Bonjour!<br />
:'''Townsfolk #2''': Bonjour!<br />
:'''Townsfolk #3''': Bonjour!<br />
:'''Townsfolk #4''': Bonjour!<br />
:'''Townsfolk #5''': Bonjour!<br />
:'''Belle''': ''[singing]'' There goes the baker with his tray like always / The same old bread and rolls to sell / Every mornin' just the same / Since the mornin' that we came / To this poor provincial town...<br />
:'''Baker''': Good mornin', Belle!<br />
:''[Belle jumps over to the bakery]''<br />
:'''Belle''': Mornin' monsieur!<br />
:'''Baker''': Where are you off to?<br />
:'''Belle''': The Bookshop! I just finished the most wonderful story, about a beanstalk and an ogre and...<br />
:'''Baker''': ''[ignoring her]'' That's nice... Marie, the baguettes! Hurry up!!<br />
:'''Townsfolk''': Look there she goes, that girl is strange no question / Dazed and distracted, can't you tell?<br />
:'''Woman #1''': Never part of any crowd<br />
:'''Barber''': Cause her head's up on some cloud<br />
:'''Townsfolk''': No denying she's a funny girl, that Belle!<br />
:'''Driver''': Bonjour!<br />
:'''Woman #2''': Good day!<br />
:'''Driver''': How is your family?<br />
:'''Woman #3''': Bonjour!<br />
:'''Merchant''': Good day!<br />
:'''Woman #3''': How is your wife?<br />
:'''Woman #4''': I need six eggs!<br />
:'''Man #1''': That's too expensive!<br />
:'''Belle''': There must be more than this provincial life!<br />
:''[Belle enters the bookshop]''<br />
:'''Bookseller''': Ah, Belle!<br />
:'''Belle''': Good mornin'. I've come to return the book I borrowed.<br />
:'''Bookseller''': ''[putting the book back on the shelf]'' Finished already?<br />
:'''Belle''': Oh, I couldn't put it down! Have you got anything new?<br />
:'''Bookseller''': ''[laughing]'' Not since yesterday.<br />
:'''Belle''': ''[on ladder of bookshelf]'' That's all right. I'll borrow... this one.<br />
:'''Bookseller''': That one? But you've read it twice!<br />
:'''Belle''': Well, it's my favorite! ''[Belle swings off side of ladder, rolling down it's track]'' Far off places, daring swordfights, magic spells, a prince in disguise!<br />
:'''Bookseller''': ''[handing her the book]'' Well, if you like it all that much, it's yours!<br />
:'''Belle''': But sir!<br />
:'''Bookseller''': I'll insist!<br />
:'''Belle''': Well, thank you. Thank you, very much! ''[leaves bookshop]''<br />
:'''Men''': ''[looking in window, then turning to watch her]'' Look there she goes / That girl is so peculiar! / I wonder if she's feeling well!<br />
:'''Women''': With a dreamy far-off look!<br />
:'''Men''': And her nose stuck in a book!<br />
:'''All''': What a puzzle to the rest of us is Belle! ''[Belle she sits on the edge of a fountain, singing to a flock of sheep and the washing woman]''<br />
:'''Belle''': Ohhhhh, isn't this amazing! / It's my favorite part because, you'll see! / Here's where she meets Prince Charming / But she won't discover that it's him 'til chapter three!<br />
:'''Woman #5''': Now it's no wonder that her name means 'beauty' / Her looks have got no parallel!<br />
:'''Merchant''': But behind that fair facade / I'm afraid she's rather odd / Very different from the rest of us...<br />
:'''All''': She's nothing like the rest of us / Yes different from the rest of us is Belle.<br />
:'''LeFou''': ''[first words]'' Wow! You didn't miss a shot, Gaston! You're the greatest hunter in the whole world!<br />
:'''Gaston''': ''[first words]'' I know!<br />
:'''LeFou''': Huh. No beast alive stands a chance against you...and no girl for that matter!<br />
:'''Gaston''': It's true, LeFou, and I've got my sights set on that one! ''[pointing to Belle]''<br />
:'''LeFou''': The Inventor's daughter?<br />
:'''Gaston''': She's the one! The lucky girl I'm going to marry.<br />
:'''LeFou''': But she's--<br />
:'''Gaston''': The most beautiful girl in town.<br />
:'''LeFou''': I know--<br />
:'''Gaston''': And that makes her the best. And don't I deserve the best?<br />
:'''LeFou''': Well of course, I mean you do, but I mean...<br />
:'''Gaston''': ''[singing]'' Right from the moment when I met her, saw her / I said she's gorgeous and I fell / Here in town there's only she ''[Belle walks by and away]'' / Who is beautiful as me / So I'm making plans to woo and marry Belle.<br />
:'''Bimbettes''': Look there he goes, isn't he dreamy / Monsieur Gaston, oh he's so cute / Be still my heart, I'm hardly breathing / He's such a tall, dark, strong and handsome brute.<br />
:''[Belle walks easily through the crowd of people in the town, Gaston struggles to catch up to her]''<br />
:'''Man #1''': Bonjour!<br />
:'''Man #2''': Good day!<br />
:'''Man #3''': Mais oui!<br />
:'''Woman #1''': You call this bacon?<br />
:'''Woman #2''': What lovely grapes!<br />
:'''Man #4''': Some cheese!<br />
:'''Woman #3''': 10 yards!<br />
:'''Man #4''': 1 pound!<br />
:'''Gaston''': Excuse me!<br />
:'''Man #4''': I'll get the knife!<br />
:'''Gaston''': Please let me through!<br />
:'''Woman #4''': This bread, it's stale!<br />
:'''Man #5''': Those fish! They smell!<br />
:'''Man #6''': Madame's mistaken!<br />
:'''Belle''': ''[singing]'' There must be more than this provincial life!<br />
:'''Gaston''': ''[singing]'' Just watch I'm going to make Belle my wife! ''[Townsfolk gather around Gaston, and eventually surround him]''<br />
:'''Chorus''': Look there she goes a girl who's strange but special / A most peculiar mademoiselle / It's a pity and a sin / She doesn't quite fit in! / 'Cause she really is a funny girl! / A beauty but a funny girl / She really is a funny girl! / That Belle!?<br />
:'''Gaston''': Bonjour! Whoa-oh! ''[song ends; to Belle]'' Hello, Belle.<br />
:'''Belle''': Bonjour, Gaston. ''[Gaston grabs the book from Belle]'' Gaston, may I have my book, please?<br />
:'''Gaston''': How can you read this? There's no pictures!<br />
:'''Belle''': Well, some people use their imagination.<br />
:'''Gaston''': Belle, it's about time you got your head out of those books, ''[tossing book into the mud]'' and paid attention to more important things. Like me. The whole town's talking about it.<br />
:''[The Bimbettes, who are looking on, sighing romantically. Belle has picked up the book and is cleaning off the mud]''<br />
:'''Gaston''': It's not right for a woman to read. Soon she starts getting ideas and thinking.<br />
:'''Belle''': Gaston, you are positively primeval.<br />
:'''Gaston''': ''[putting his hand around her shoulders]'' Why, thank you, Belle. What do you say you and me take a walk over to the tavern, and take a look at my trophies?<br />
:'''Belle''': Maybe some other time.<br />
:'''Claudette''': What's wrong with her?<br />
:'''Laurette''': She's crazy!<br />
:'''Paulette''': He's gorgeous.<br />
:'''Belle''': Please, Gaston, I can't. I have to get home to help my father. Goodbye.<br />
:'''LeFou''': Ha ha ha, that crazy old loon, he needs all the help he can get! ''[he and Gaston laugh heartily]''<br />
:'''Belle''': ''[angrily]'' Don't you talk about my father that way.<br />
:'''Gaston''': Yeah, don't talk about her father that way! ''[conks LeFou on the head]''<br />
:'''Belle''': My father's not crazy! He's a genius! ''[explosion in background. Gaston and LeFou continue laughing. She rushes home and descends into the basement; coughed]'' Papa?!<br />
:'''Maurice''': How on earth did that happen?<br />
:''[Belle coughs again]''<br />
:'''Maurice''': Doggone it!<br />
:''[Maurice pulls the barrel off his waist, along with his pants]''<br />
:'''Belle''': Are you alright, Papa?<br />
:'''Maurice''': I'm about ready to give up on this hunk of junk! ''[kicks the machine]''<br />
:'''Belle''': You always say that.<br />
:'''Maurice''': I mean it this time! I'll never get this boneheaded contraption to work!<br />
:'''Belle''': Yes, you will. And you'll win first prize at the Fair tomorrow. <br />
:'''Maurice''': Hmmmph!<br />
:'''Belle''': And become a world-famous inventor.<br />
:'''Maurice''': You really believe that?<br />
:'''Belle''': I always have.<br />
:'''Maurice''': Well, what are we waitin' for? I'll have this thin' fixed in no time. Hand me that... The dog-legged clincher there. So, did you have a good time in town today?<br />
:'''Belle''': I got a new book. Papa, do you think I'm odd?<br />
:'''Maurice''': My daughter? Odd? Ha! Where would you get an idea like that?<br />
:'''Belle''': I don't know. It's just that I'm not sure I fit in here. There's no one I can really talk to.<br />
:'''Maurice''': What about that Gaston? He's a handsome fella.<br />
:'''Belle''': He's handsome, all right, and rude and conceited and... Oh, Papa, he's not for me.<br />
:'''Maurice''': Well, don't you worry. Cause this invention's gonna be the start of a new life for us. ''[comes out from under machine]'' I think that's done it. Now, let's give it a try.<br />
:''[Machine whirs and chops wood, just as it should]''<br />
:'''Belle''': It works!<br />
:'''Maurice''': It does? It does!<br />
:'''Belle''': You did it! You really did it!<br />
:'''Maurice''': Hitch up Philippe, girl. I'm off to the fair!<br />
:''[Log strikes him in the head, knocking him out. Fade to later in the day]''<br />
:'''Belle''': Goodbye, Papa! Good luck!<br />
:'''Maurice''': Goodbye, Belle, and take care while I'm gone!<br />
:''[Fade to the deep forest, night. After a few hours of traveling, it seems obvious that they are lost, after Belle plays the violin. Philippe walks on cautiously, frightened out of his wits]''<br />
:'''Maurice''': We should be there by now. ''[above them, an owl hoots, adding to the spookiness of the environment]'' Maybe we missed a turn. I guess I should have taken... wait a minute. ''[raising his lantern toward a sign with arrows pointing in separate directions, though the writing is faded and unreadable. Philippe snorts, and whinnies to go one fashion, but he pulls his reins in the separate direction]'' No, let's go this way!<br />
:''[Philippe whinnies and looks at the path Maurice has picked. It is dark and foggy with light blue clouds, with many trees forming an archway. Then he looks at the other path, which is much more inviting. Philippe whinnies to go on the safer path, but he pulls him toward the other one]''<br />
:'''Maurice''': Come on, Philippe, it's a shortcut! We'll be there in no time. ''[the two continue down the path, albeit slowly due to Philippe, fearing what can be lurking about in the darkness. At that moment, a shadow whisks past them and the sound of wolf howling fills the air, spooking Philippe whinnies; looking at his map]'' This can't be right. Where have you taken us, Philippe? We'd better turn around. ''[suddenly, the howling becomes louder. Philippe whinnies to back up, afraid of whatever might be around them]'' Whoa. Whoa, boy. Whoa, now. Whoa, Philippe. ''[but the spooked horse does not stop in time, and bumps into a hollow tree. A flocks of bats swarm out and surround them]'' Look out! No!<br />
:''[Philippe runs off in fear, not noticing where he's going]''<br />
:'''Maurice''': Whoa! Whoa, boy! ''[eventually, his steed stops until he sees where he is; at the edge of a very tall cliff]'' Back up! Back up! Back up! ''[they back off slowly, yet afraid to an inch of their lives]'' Good boy, good boy. That's good, that's– back up! Steady. Steady! Now, steady. Steady. ''[the howling is now so loud, Philippe whinnying]'' Oh, no. Philippe?! ''[looks up and sees wolves growling at him. Maurice runs away, being chased by the wolves. He stumbles down a hill, and lands at the gate of a castle. He grabs the locked gate and tries to shake it open]'' Help! Is... Is someone there? Help!<br />
:''[The gate opens, and Maurice runs in. He slams the gate in the faces of the wolves. Leaving his hat on the ground as the rain begins to fall, Maurice runs to the castle and bangs on the door. It creaks open and he enters, cautiously]''<br />
:'''Maurice''': Hello? Hello?<br />
:''[Watching from a table near the entrance are Lumière and Cogsworth]''<br />
:'''Lumière''': ''[barely whispering]'' Poor fellow must have lost his way in the woods.<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[also whispering]'' Keep quiet! Maybe he'll go away.<br />
:'''Maurice''': Is someone there?<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Not a word, Lumiere. Not one word!<br />
:'''Maurice''': I don't mean to intrude, but I've lost my horse and I need a place to stay for the night.<br />
:'''Lumière''': ''[looking at Cogsworth like a child having just found a lost puppy]'' Oh, Cogsworth, have a heart.<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Shush shush shhhhh! ''[puts hand over Lumière's mouth, who promptly proceeds to touch his lit candle hand to Cogsworth's hand]'' Ow, ow! '''''OW, OW, OW, OUCH!!!!!'''''<br />
:'''Lumière''': Of course, Monsieur, you are welcome here.<br />
:'''Maurice''': ''[looking around in confusion]'' Who said that?<br />
:''[He picks up the candlestick for light, not realizing that the speaker is in his hand]''<br />
:'''Lumière''': ''[tapping him on the shoulder]'' Over here!<br />
:'''Maurice''': ''[spins around, pulling Lumière to the other side]'' Where?<br />
:'''Lumière''': ''[taps Maurice on the side of the head. Maurice looks at Lumière]'' Hello!<br />
:'''Maurice''': Oh!!!! ''[startled, he drops Lumière onto the floor]'' Incredible!<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[hopping over]'' Well, now you've done it, Lumière. Splendid, just peachy--aaarrrgghh!<br />
:''[Maurice picks up Cogsworth]''<br />
:'''Maurice''': How is this accomplished?<br />
:''[He fiddles with Cogsworth]''<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Put me down! At once!<br />
:''[Maurice tickles the bottoms of Cogsworth's feet. He laughs. He begins to wind the spring on the back of Cogsworth's head, twisting his face around with the clock hands. Maurice opens the front of Cogsworth and begins to play with his pendulum. Cogsworth slams the door shut on his finger]''<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Stop that! Stop that, I'd say! Sir, close that at once, do you mind!<br />
:'''Maurice''': I beg your pardon, it's just that I've never seen a clock that... aah... I mean... aah, aah, aah-chooo!!!<br />
:''[Maurice sneezes in the face of Cogsworth, who proceeds to wipe his face off using his clock hands in a very anachronistic windshield wiper manner. Maurice sniffles, indicating the cold he has caught from being in the rain]''<br />
:'''Lumière''': Oh, you are soaked to the bone, Monsieur. Come, warm yourself by the fire.<br />
:'''Maurice''': Thank you.<br />
:''[Lumière and Maurice head towards the den, with Cogsworth running after them]''<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': No, no, no, do you know what The Master would do if he finds you here.<br />
:''[Beast is watching the action from an overhead walkway, and rushes off as the trio enters the den]''<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': I demand that you stop... right... there!<br />
:''[Cogsworth tumbles down the steps. Maurice takes a seat in a large chair in front of a roaring fire]''<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Oh, no, not The Master's chair!<br />
:''[Footstool Sultan rushes past Cogsworth, barking up a storm]''<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': I'm not seeing this, I'm not seeing this!<br />
:'''Maurice''': ''[as Sultan rushes up to him]'' Well, hello there, boy. ''[Sultan props himself up under the feet of Maurice. Coatrack enters and removes his cloak]'' What service!<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Okay, this has gone far enough. I'm in charge here...<br />
:''[Cogsworth is run over by the (once again) anachronistic IndyCar sounding teacart of Mrs. Potts]''<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': ''[arriving by the side of Maurice]'' How would you like a nice spot of tea, sir? It'll warm you up in no time.<br />
:''[Mrs. Potts pours tea into cup, Chip, which hops over into Maurice's open hand]''<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[from face down position on carpet]'' No. No tea, no tea!!!<br />
:'''Chip''': ''[as Maurice sips the tea]'' Ha ha! His mustache tickles, Mama!<br />
:'''Maurice''': ''[startled by the cup]'' Oh! Hello!<br />
:''[The door to the den slams open and a strong gust of wind blows into the room, extinguishing Lumière's flames and the fire in the fireplace. Cogsworth dives for cover. Mrs. Potts begins to shake. Chip jumps back onto the tea cart and takes refuge from behind his mother]''<br />
:'''Chip''': Uh-oh.<br />
:''[Beast enters. We see him in full for the first time. He is on all fours. He looks around in the darkness]''<br />
:'''Beast''': There's a stranger here.<br />
:'''Lumière''': ''[who has relit his flames]'' Master, allow me to explain. The gentleman was lost in the woods and he was cold and wet, so...<br />
:''[Lumière's last sentence is drowned out by the very loud growl of Beast, which puts out his flames once again. Lumière looks down, dejected]''<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[coming out from under a rug]'' Master, I'd like to take this moment to say, I was against this from the start. It was all his fault. I tried to stop them, but would they listen to me? No, no... ''[Again, Beast's growl drowns out Cogsworth]''<br />
:''[The Beast barges in to see Maurice getting settled in the castle]''<br />
:'''Beast''': Who are you?! What are you doing here?!<br />
:'''Maurice''': I-I-I was lost in the woods and--<br />
:'''Beast''': You're not '''WELCOME HERE!'''<br />
:'''Maurice''': I-I'm... I'm sorry.<br />
:'''Beast''': What are you '''STARING AT?!'''<br />
:'''Maurice''': Nothing.<br />
:'''Beast''': So...you've come to stare at The '''BEAST, HAVE YOU?!?!''' ''[He blocks Maurice's way]''<br />
:'''Maurice''': ''[pleaders]'' Please! I mean no harm, I just needed a place to stay!<br />
:'''Beast''': I'll give you a place to stay! ''[He picks up Maurice]''<br />
:'''Maurice''': ''[as the Beast takes him to the tower]'' No, no, please! No! No! ''[door slams]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''LeFou''': Heh! Oh boy! Belle's gonna get the surprise of her life, huh Gaston?<br />
:'''Gaston''': Yep. This is her lucky day.<br />
:''[Gaston lets go of a branch, which swings back and hits LeFou in the mouth. Gaston turns to the band, wedding guests and others, apparently just out of sight of Belle's cottage.]''<br />
:'''Gaston''': I'd like to thank you all for coming to my wedding. But first, I'd better go in there and... propose to the girl. ''[chuckles; the male guests laugh and the Bimbettes sob]'' And you, LeFou. When Belle and I come out that door...<br />
:'''LeFou''': Oh, I know! I know! I strike up the band!<br />
:''[The band plays "Here Comes the Bride," loud and fast, until Gaston rams a tuba down on LeFou's head]''<br />
:'''Gaston''': Not yet!<br />
:'''LeFou''': ''[sticked his lips through the mouthpiece]'' Sorry!<br />
:''[There was a knock on the door.]''<br />
:'''Belle''': Gaston, what a pleasant surprise.<br />
:'''Gaston''': Isn't it though? I'm just full of surprises. You know, Belle. There's not a girl in town who wouldn't love to be in your shoes. This is the day...''[Gaston pauses by a mirror and licks his teeth clean.]'' This is the day your dreams come true.<br />
:'''Belle''': What do you know about my dreams, Gaston?<br />
:'''Gaston''': Plenty! Here, picture this. ''[sits, props muddy boots on Belle's book, kicks them off]'' A rustic hunting lodge, my latest kill roasting on the fire, and my little wife, massaging my feet, while the little ones play with the dogs. We'll have six or seven.<br />
:'''Belle''': Dogs?<br />
:'''Gaston''': No, Belle! Strapping boys, like me!<br />
:'''Belle''': Imagine that. ''[retrieves book and shelves it]''<br />
:'''Gaston''': And do you know who that wife will be?<br />
:'''Belle''': Let me think.<br />
:'''Gaston''': You, Belle!<br />
:'''Belle''': Gaston, I'm speechless! I really don't know what to say.<br />
:'''Gaston''': Say you'll marry me!<br />
:'''Belle''': I'm very sorry, Gaston, but... ''[turns the doorknob]'' ...but I just don't deserve you! <br />
:''[She opens the door]''<br />
:'''Gaston''': Whoa!<br />
:''[Gaston stumbles out and she throws his boots after him before closing it. Gaston lands in a pig's mud wallow as LeFou conducts the band in "Here Comes the Bride"]''<br />
:'''LeFou''': Ooh, so, how'd it go? Oomph! Uh.<br />
:'''Gaston''': ''[picks up LeFou, angrily]'' I'll have Belle for my wife! Make no mistake about that! <br />
:'''LeFou''': Oh.<br />
:''[throws LeFou into the mud and storms off]''<br />
:'''LeFou''': Hmm! Touchy! ''[The pig snorts in agreement]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Belle''': ''[to the chickens]'' Is he gone? ''[seeing he is, hurried outside, a bucket of chickens feed in her hand]'' Can you imagine? He asked me to marry him. Me, the wife of that boorish, brainless? ''[walks of the animals, and feeding the chickens, singing]'' Madame Gaston, can't you just see it? / Madame Gaston, his little wife. ''[kicks the buckets, the chickens clucking and goats bleats]'' / No, sir, not me, I guarantee it / I want much more than this provincial life. / I want adventure in the great wide somewhere / I want it more than I can tell / And for once it might be grand / To have someone understand / I want so much more than they've got planned ''[Phillipe runs into the open field. Belle looks at him, disturbed that Maurice is not with him.]''<br />
:'''Belle''': Phillipe! What are you doing here? Where's Papa? Where is he, Philippe? What happened? Oh, we have to find him, you have to take me to him. ''[Belle unhitches the wagon from Philippe.]''<br />
:''[Outside the castle gate. (How Phillipe brought Belle there is a mystery, seeing as Phillipe has never made it to the castle with Maurice.)]''<br />
:'''Belle''': What is this place?<br />
:'''Philippe''': ''[snorts, neighs]''<br />
:'''Belle''': Phillipe, please, steady. Papa.<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Couldn't keep quiet, could we? Just had to invite him to stay, didn't we? Serve him tea, sit in The Master's chair, pet the Pooch.<br />
:'''Lumière''': I was trying to be hospitable.<br />
:'''Belle''': Hello? Is anyone here? Hello? Papa? Papa, are you here?<br />
:'''Chip''': Momma. There's a girl in the castle!<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Now, Chip, I won't have you making up such wild stories.<br />
:'''Chip''': But really, momma, I saw her.<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Not another word. Into the tub.<br />
:'''Fifi''': A girl! I saw a girl in the castle!<br />
:'''Chip''': See, I told ya!<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Irresponsible, devil-may-care, waxy eared, slack-jawed--<br />
:'''Belle''': Papa?<br />
:'''Lumière''': Did you see that? It's a girl!<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': I know it's a girl.<br />
:'''Lumière''': Don't you see? She's the one. The girl we have been waiting for. She has come to break the spell!<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Wait a minute, wait a minute!<br />
:'''Belle''': Papa? Papa? Hello? Is someone here? Wait! I'm looking for my father! I... That's funny, I'm sure there was someone... I-I-Is there anyone here?<br />
:'''Maurice''': Belle?<br />
:'''Belle''': Oh, Papa!<br />
:'''Maurice''': But how did you find me?<br />
:'''Belle''': Oh, your hands are ice. I have to get you out of here!<br />
:'''Maurice''': You must go! <br />
:'''Belle''': Who's done this to you? <br />
:'''Maurice''': No time to explain! You must go ''now!''<br />
:'''Belle''': I won't leave you!<br />
:'''Beast''': '''What are you doing here?!'''<br />
:'''Maurice''': Run, Belle!<br />
:'''Belle''': Who's there? Who are you?<br />
:'''Beast''': The master of this castle.<br />
:'''Belle''': I've come for my father. Please let him out! Can't you see he's sick?!<br />
:'''Beast''': ''[angrily; losing patience]'' Then he shouldn't have trespassed here!<br />
:'''Belle''': But he could die! Please, I'll do anything!<br />
:'''Beast''': There's nothing you can do! He's my prisoner!<br />
:'''Belle''': Oh, there must be some way I can... Wait! Take me instead. <br />
:'''Beast''': '''''YOU'''''... You would... take his place? <br />
:'''Maurice''': Belle, no! You don't know what you're doing!<br />
:'''Belle''': If I did, would you let him go?<br />
:'''Beast''': Yes. But... you must promise to stay here forever!<br />
:'''Belle''': Come into the light.<br />
:'''Maurice''': No, Belle! I won't let you do this!<br />
:'''Belle''': You have my word.<br />
:'''Beast''': Done.<br />
:'''Maurice''': No, Belle. Listen to me. I'm old, I've lived my life-<br />
:'''Belle''': Wait!<br />
:'''Maurice''': '''Belle!'''<br />
:'''Belle''': ''WAIT!!''<br />
:'''Maurice''': No, please spare my daughter!<br />
:'''Beast''': She's no longer your concern. Take him to the village.<br />
:'''Maurice''': Please, let me out, please!<br />
:'''Lumière''': Master?<br />
:'''Beast''': What?<br />
:'''Lumière''': Since the girl is going to be with us for quite some time, I was thinking that you might want to offer her a more comfortable room. Then again, maybe not.<br />
:'''Belle''': You didn't even let me say goodbye. I'll never see him again. I didn't get to say goodbye.<br />
:'''Beast''': I'll show you to your room.<br />
:'''Belle''': My room? But I thought...<br />
:'''Beast''': You wanna stay in the tower?<br />
:'''Belle''': No.<br />
:'''Beast''': Then, follow me.<br />
:'''Lumière''': Say something to her.<br />
:'''Beast''': Hmm? Oh. I hope you like it here. The Castle is your home now, so you can go anywhere you like, except the West Wing.<br />
:'''Belle''': What's in the West...<br />
:'''Beast''': It's forbidden. Now, if you need anything, my servants will attend you.<br />
:'''Lumière''': Dinner... invite her to dinner.<br />
:'''Beast''': ''[angrily; losing patience]'' You will join me for dinner. That's not a request!<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%/><br />
:'''Gaston''': ''[displeased about what happened to him]'' Who does she think she is? That girl has '''''tangled''''' with the wrong man! No one says no to Gaston!<br />
:'''LeFou''': Heh-heh! Darn right!<br />
:'''Gaston''': Dismissed! Rejected! Publicly Humiliated! Why, it's more than I can bear! ''[throwing his two mugs of beer into the fireplace]''<br />
:'''LeFou''': More beer?<br />
:'''Gaston''': ''[frustratingly turning his chair away from the fireplace]'' What for? Nothing helps! I'm disgraced.<br />
:'''LeFou''': Who, you? Never! Gaston, you've gotta pull yourself together! ''[singing]'' Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston / Looking so down in the dumps / Every guy here'd love to be you, Gaston<br />
:'''Old Cronies''': Hooray!<br />
:'''LeFou''': Even when taking your lumps / There's no man in town as admired as you / You're everyone's favorite guy! / Everyone's awed and inspired by you / <big>'''''AND IT'S NOT... VERY HARD! TO SEE WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!'''''</big> / Noooooo, oooone's sllllick as Gaston, no one's quick as Gaston / No one's next as incredibly thick as Gaston / For there's no man in town half as manly / Perfect, a pure paragon! / You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley / And they'll tell you who's team they'd prefer to be '''''yooooooown!!!!!!'''''<br />
:''[LeFou has pulled a man's belt off, whose pants fall to the ground. LeFou jumps up and wraps the belt around Gaston's neck, who flexes and breaks it off. LeFou continues to dance around. Old cronies pick him up and swing him around]''<br />
:'''Old Cronies''': Noooooo, oooone's been like Gaston, a king-pin like Gaston.<br />
:'''LeFou''': No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston.<br />
:'''Gaston''': As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!<br />
:'''Old Cronies''': My, what a guy that Gaston! ''[swing LeFou back and forth into the camera. LeFou tickles Gaston's chin, who stands with pride]'' Give 5 hurrahs, give 12 hip-hips!<br />
:'''LeFou''': Gaston is the best and the rest is all drips!<br />
:''[LeFou swings up his arm in dance and throws a mug of beer in Gaston's face, who socks LeFou in the face]''<br />
:'''All''': Noooooo, oooone, fights like Gaston, douses lights like Gaston.<br />
:'''Stanley''': In a wrestling match, nobody bites like Gaston.<br />
:'''Bimbettes''': For there's no one as burly and brawny.<br />
:'''Gaston''': As you see I've got biceps to spare.<br />
:'''LeFou''': Not a bit of him scraggly or scrawny.<br />
:'''Gaston''': That's right! And every last inch of me's covered with hair! ''[Gaston fights with the men, then lifts a bench with the Bimbettes on it. He drops the bench on LeFou, then turns to the camera and reveals his hairy chest]''<br />
:'''Old Cronies''': No one hits like Gaston, matches wits like Gaston.<br />
:'''LeFou''': In a spitting match, nobody spits like Gaston!<br />
:'''Gaston''': I'm especially good at expectorating! Ptooey!<br />
:'''All''': '''''10 POINTS FOR GASTON!'''''<br />
:''[Gaston plays a chess game with a man, then hits the board, sending it and pieces all over. He takes a bite of leather from the belt once wrapped around his neck, chews it and spits it into a spittoon, which falls and gets stuck on the head of LeFou]''<br />
:'''Gaston''': When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs. Every morning to help me get '''''LARGE!!!''''' And now that I'm grown, I eat five dozen eggs. So I'm roughly the size of a '''''ba-a-a-a-arge!''''' ''[Gaston juggles a number of eggs, then swallows them whole. LeFou attempts the trick, and is hit in the face by three eggs]''<br />
:'''All''': Noooooo, oooone shoots like Gaston, makes those beauts like Gaston.<br />
:'''LeFou''': Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston.<br />
:'''Gaston''': I use antlers in all of my decorating!<br />
:''[Gaston takes three shots at a beer barrel, which begins leaking into the mugs of onlookers. He returns stomping to his chair, where we see the fireplace surrounded by the heads of the animals he has killed. The mystery cut of music is here! Cut to ending of "Gaston Reprise"]''<br />
:'''All''': My what a '''''guuuuuy!''''' <big>'''''GASTOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNN!!!!!!'''''</big><br />
:''[The old cronies have picked up the chair and carry Gaston around in it. LeFou tries to flee, but they toss the chair into its normal place, and LeFou is pinned underneath. Maurice bursts in frantically]''<br />
:'''Maurice''': Help! Someone help me!<br />
:'''Tavern Man''': Maurice?<br />
:'''Maurice''': Please! Please, I need your help! He's got her. He's got her locked in the dungeon.<br />
:'''Tom''': Who?<br />
:'''Maurice''': Belle. We must go. Not... not a minute to lose!<br />
:'''Gaston''': Whoa! Slow down, Maurice. Who's got Belle locked in a dungeon?<br />
:'''Maurice''': A beast! A horrible, monstrous beast! ''[Maurice has gone from person to person, pleading his case, until he is thrown at the feet of Gaston. A moment of silence, then the old cronies begin to laugh and mock him]''<br />
:'''Dick''': Is it a big beast?<br />
:'''Maurice''': Huge!<br />
:'''Stanley''': With a long, ugly snout?<br />
:'''Maurice''': Hideously ugly!<br />
:'''Walter''': And sharp, cruel fangs?<br />
:'''Maurice''': Yes, yes. Will you help me?<br />
:'''Gaston''': All right, old man. We'll help you out.<br />
:'''Maurice''': You will? Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!<br />
:''[The old cronies pick up Maurice and help him out by throwing him through the door]''<br />
:'''Tom''': Crazy old Maurice.<br />
:'''Dick''': He's always good for a laugh!<br />
:'''Gaston''': ''[very pensive]'' Crazy old Maurice, hmm? Crazy old Maurice. Hmm? ''[singing]'' LeFou, I'm afraid I've been thinking.<br />
:''[LeFou is still under the chair]''<br />
:'''LeFou''': ''[singing]'' A dangerous pastime--<br />
:'''Gaston''': ''[singing]'' I know, / But that wacky old coot is Belle's father / And his sanity's only so-so...| Now the wheels in my head have been turning / Since I looked at that loony old man / See I promised myself I'd be married to Belle, / And right now I'm evolving a plan! ''[Gaston picks LeFou out from under the chair and holds his head close, and whispers]''<br />
:'''Gaston''': If I... ''[whispers]''<br />
:'''LeFou''': Yes?<br />
:'''Gaston''': Then I... ''[whispers]''<br />
:'''LeFou''': No, would she?<br />
:'''Gaston''': ''[whispering]'' ...GUESS!<br />
:'''LeFou''': Now I get it!<br />
:'''Gaston and LeFou''': '''Let's Go!''' ''[they begin a waltz around the floor as they sings]'' Noooooo, oooooone, plots like Gaston, takes cheap shots like Gaston.<br />
:'''LeFou''': Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Gaston.<br />
:'''Chorus''': SO HIS MARRIAGE WE SOON'LL BE '''''Celebra-a-a-ti-i-ing!''''' / My what a guy, '''''GASTOOOOOOOOOON!!!'''''<br />
:''[Camera zooms out through window to snow covered square, empty except for Maurice]''<br />
:'''Maurice''': ''[to no one in particular]'' Will no one help me? ''[Random; ? At the bedroom of the castle where Belle is still crying. There is a 'clink clink clink' at the door. She gets up and walks over to open the door. Mrs. Potts enters with Chip and their entourage]''<br />
:'''Belle''': Who is it?<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Mrs. Potts, dear. I thought you might like a spot of tea.<br />
:'''Belle''': But you...ah...but...I--<br />
:'''Wardrobe''': Oof. Careful!<br />
:'''Belle''': This is impossible--<br />
:'''Wardrobe''': I know it is, but here we are!<br />
:'''Chip''': Told you she was pretty, Mama, didn't I?<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': All right, now, Chip, that'll do. Slowly now. Don't spill.<br />
:'''Belle''': Thank you.<br />
:'''Chip''': Want to see me do a trick?<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Chip?!<br />
:'''Chip''': Oops, sorry.<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': That was a very brave thing you did, my dear.<br />
:'''Wardrobe''': We all think so.<br />
:'''Belle''': But I've lost my father, my dreams, everything.<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Cheer up, child. It'll turn out all right in the end. You'll see. Oops! Look at me, jabbering on, when there's a supper to get on the table. Chip!<br />
:'''Chip''': Bye!<br />
:'''Wardrobe''': Well now, what shall we dress you in for dinner? Let's see what I've got in my drawers. Oh-ho! How embarrassing. Here we are. Ah! There you are, you'll look ravishing in this one!<br />
:'''Belle''': That's very kind of you, but I'm not going to dinner.<br />
:'''Wardrobe''': Oh, but you must!<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Dinner is served.<br />
:'''Beast''': What's taking so long? I told her to come down. '''Why isn't she here yet?!'''<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, try to be patient, sir. The girl has lost her father and her freedom all in one day.<br />
:'''Lumière''': Uh, Master. Have you thought that, perhaps, this girl could be the one to break the spell?<br />
:'''Beast''': Of course I have! I'm not a fool.<br />
:'''Lumière''': Good! You fall in love with her, she falls in love with you, and - Poof! - the spell is broken! We'll be human again by midnight!<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, it's not that easy, Lumière. These things take time.<br />
:'''Lumière''': But the rose has already begun to wilt.<br />
:'''Beast''': Oh, it's no use. She's so beautiful, and I'm... well, look at me!<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, you must help her to see past all that.<br />
:'''Beast''': I don't know how.<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Well, you can start by making yourself more presentable. Straighten up, try to act like a gentleman.<br />
:'''Lumière''': Ah, yes, when she comes in, give her a dashing, debonair smile. Come, come. Show me the smile.<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': But don't frighten the poor girl.<br />
:'''Lumière''': Impress her with your rapier wit.<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': But be gentle.<br />
:'''Lumière''': Shower her with compliments.<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': But be sincere.<br />
:'''Lumière''': And above all...<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts and Lumière''': You must control your temper!<br />
:'''Lumière''': There she is!<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Uh, good evening.<br />
:'''Beast''': Well, where is she?<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Who? Oh! The girl. Yes, the, ah, girl. Well, actually, she's in the process of, ah, um, circumstances being what they are, ew... She's not coming.<br />
:'''Beast''': <big>'''''WHAT?!?!'''''</big><br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Oh, dear, Your Grace, Your Eminence! Let's not be hasty!<br />
:'''Beast''': '''I thought I told you to come down to dinner!'''<br />
:'''Belle''': I'm not hungry.<br />
:'''Beast''': '''You come out, or I'll... I'll... ''I'LL BREAK DOWN THE DOOR!!!'''''<br />
:'''Lumière''': Master, I could be wrong, but that may not be the best way to win the girl's affections.<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Please, attempt to be a gentleman.<br />
:'''Beast''': But she is being so ''difficult!''<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Gently, gently.<br />
:'''Beast''': Will you come down to dinner?<br />
:'''Belle''': No!<br />
:'''Beast''': Hmm?!<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Uh-uh-uh! Suave. Genteel.<br />
:'''Beast''': It would give me great pleasure... if you would join me for dinner.<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Ahem, ahem, we say "please".<br />
:'''Beast''': Please.<br />
:'''Belle''': No, thank you!<br />
:'''Beast''': ''[angrily; losing patience]'' '''You can't stay in there forever!'''<br />
:'''Belle''': ''[provoked]'' Yes, I can!<br />
:'''Beast''': ''[angrily]'' Fine! Then, go ahead and ''[roars]'' '''''STAAAAARVE!!''''' If she doesn't eat with me, then she doesn't eat ''at all.''<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, dear. That didn't go very well at all, did it?<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Lumière, stand watch at the door and inform me at once if there is the slightest change.<br />
:'''Lumière''': You can count on me, mon Capitan.<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Well! we might as well go downstairs and start cleaning up.<br />
:'''Beast''': I ask nicely, but she refuses! What- What does she want me to do? Beg?! Show me the girl.<br />
:'''Wardrobe''': But The Master's really not so bad once you get to know him. Why don't you give him a chance?<br />
:'''Belle''': I don't want to get to know him. I don't want to have anything to do with him!<br />
:'''Beast''': I'm just fooling myself. She'll never see me as anything but a monster. It's hopeless.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Fade out/Fade in to exterior of Belle's room. Door creaks open. Belle silently emerges. We see her feet go by as three bright spots shine through a curtain at floor level. Behind it are Lumière and Featherduster Fifi.]''<br />
:'''Fifi''': Oh, no!<br />
:'''Lumière''': Oh, yes!<br />
:'''Fifi''': Oh, no!<br />
:'''Lumière''': Oh, yes, yes, yes!<br />
:'''Fifi''': I've been burnt by you before!<br />
:''[Lumière and Fifi have emerged and Lumière takes her in his arms. Suddenly he looks up and sees Belle walking down the hall. He drops Fifi.]''<br />
:'''Fifi''': Oof!<br />
:'''Lumière''': Zut alors! She has emerged!<br />
:''[Inside the kitchen, where we find Cogsworth, Mrs. Potts, Chip and The Stove.]''<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Come on, Chip. Into the cupboard with your brothers and sisters. ''[helping him in]''<br />
:'''Chip''': But I'm not sleepy.<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Yes you are.<br />
:'''Chip''': No, I'm not. ''[He falls asleep and Mrs. Potts shuts the cupboard door.]''<br />
:''[A banging of pots and pans comes from the stove.]''<br />
:'''Chef Bouche''': I'd work and I'd slave all day long, and for what? A culinary masterpiece gone to waste.<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, stop your grousing. It's been a long night for all of us.<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Well, if you ask me, she was just being stubborn. After all, he did say please.<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': But if The Master doesn't learn to control that temper, he'll never break the--<br />
:''[Belle enters, and Cogsworth cuts off Mrs. Potts before she can say 'spell.']''<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[interrupting]'' Splendid to see you out and about, mademoiselle.<br />
:''[Lumière comes running in.]''<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': I am Cogsworth, head of the household.<br />
:''[He leans over to kiss her hand, but Lumière butts in front of him.]''<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': This is Lumière.<br />
:'''Lumière''': Enchanté, chérie.<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[trying to talk around Lumière who is still kissing Belle's hand]'' If there's anything... stop that... that we can... please ''[finally shoving him out of the way]'' ...to make your stay more comfortable... ''[Lumière burns the hand of Cogsworth]'' Ow!!!!<br />
:'''Belle''': I am a little hungry.<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': ''[excited, to the other tea pots]'' You are? Hear that? She's hungry. Stoke the fire, break out the silver, wake the China.<br />
:''[The fire on The Stove roars to life, and drawers open to reveal silverware standing at attention.]''<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[secretively]'' Remember what The Master said.<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, pish tosh. I'm not going to let the poor child go hungry.<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[thinking he is giving in to the ultimate demand]'' Oh, okay, fine. Glass of water, crust of bread, and then--<br />
:'''Lumière''': Cogsworth, I am surprised at you. She's not our prisoner. She's our guest. We must make her feel welcome here. ''[to Belle]'' Right this way, mademoiselle.<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Well, keep it down. If The Master finds out about this, it will be our necks!<br />
:'''Lumière''': Of course, of course. But what is dinner without a little music?<br />
:''[Lumière has started out the swinging door. He lets it close, and the door hits Cogsworth and sends him across the room to land in a panfilled with (what looks like) pancake batter. He screams his line as he is in flight.]''<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': '''''MUSIC?!'''''<br />
:''[Cut to dining room, where Belle is seated at the end of a long table. Lumière is on the table and a spotlight shines on him.]''<br />
:'''Lumière''': Ma chère, mademoiselle. It is with deepest pride pleasure and greatest pride that I welcome you tonight. And now, we invite you to relax. Let us pull up a chair as the dining room proudly presents...your dinner. ''[singing]'' Be our guest, be our guest / Put our service to the test, tie your napkin 'round your neck, chérie and we provide the rest! ''[The chair has wrapped a napkin around the neck of Belle, who takes it off and places it on her lap. The chair's arms put it's hands on it's 'waist' as if it were mad.]'' Soup du jour, hot hors d'oeuvres / Why we only live to serve / Try the grey stuff, it's delicious / Don't believe me? Ask the dishes! ''[Lumière offers Belle a plate of hors d'oeuvres. She dips her finger in one, and tastes it.]'' They can sing, they can dance / After all, miss, this is France! / And a dinner here is never second best! / Go on unfold your menu, take a glance and then you'll / Be our guest, be our guest, be our guest! ''[A cabinet at the end of the table opens to reveal a large China collection, which rolls out and begins to perform. Lumière hands Belle a menu, which she begins to read.]'' Beef ragout, cheese soufflé, Pie and pudding en flambé! / We'll prepare and serve with flair / A culinary cabaret! ''[plates of food go dancing by, with Cogsworth in the pudding. Lumière sets his torch to it, and it explodes, turning Cogsworth's face black with soot.]'' You're alone and you're scared, But the banquet's all prepared! / No one's gloomy or complaining, / While the flatware's entertaining! ''[The flatware enters a 'Busby Berkley-esque' swimming scene.]'' We tell jokes, I do tricks / With my fellow candlesticks ''[Lumière, standing on a plate, is elevated and begins to juggle his candles. Mugs enter the shot.]''<br />
:'''Mugs''': And it's all in perfect taste / That you can bet!!! ''[The Mugs begin a gymnastics routine, hopping over one another and passing a beverage from one to the next]''<br />
:'''All''': Come on and lift your glass, You've won your own free pass / To be our guest, be our guest, be our guest!<br />
:'''Lumière''': If you're stressed, it's fine dining we suggest!<br />
:'''All''': Be our guest, be our guest, be our guest!<br />
:''[All leave except Cogsworth, who looks scared, then begins to inch away. Lumière enters and holds him there.]''<br />
:'''Lumière''': Life is so unnerving, For a servant who's not serving! / He's not whole without a soul to wait upon<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Get off!<br />
:'''Lumière''': Ah, those good old days when we were useful<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Huh? Oh! <br />
:'''Lumière''': Suddenly, those good old days are gone. <br />
:''[Lumière sings as if he were reminiscing. Snow begins to fall. Cogsworth looks up and sees the salt and pepper shakers doing their thing.]''<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Ohh.<br />
:'''Lumière''': 10 years we've been rustin' / Needin' so much more than dustin' / Needin' exercise, a chance to use our skills! <br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Yaaaaaooo… Ow.<br />
:''[Lumière dusts the salt of the head of Cogsworth, who tries to escape. He tripsand falls into the gelatin mold.]''<br />
:'''Lumière''': Most days just lay around the castle.<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Ngngngngh!<br />
:'''Lumière''': Flabby, fat, and lazy / You walked in, and oops-a-daisie! <br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Whoa!<br />
:''[Lumière jumps on a spoon in the gelatin, which catapults Cogsworth out of the mold. Cut to kitchen, where Mrs. Potts is surrounded by soap bubbles.]''<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': It's a guest, it's a guest! Sakes alive, well, I'll be blessed! Wine's been poured and thank the Lord I've had the napkins freshly pressed! ''[Mrs. Potts continues to dance around the kitchen]'' With dessert, she'll want tea, And my dear, that's fine with me! While the cups do their soft shoein', I'll be bubblin', I'll be brewin'! I'll get warm, pipin' hot Heaven's sake, is that a spot? Clean it up, we want the company impressed! We've got a lot to do-- Is it one lump or two? For you our guest! ''[Mrs. Potts is cleaned off by a napkin. She hops onto the tea cart and rolls into the dining room, where she offers tea to Belle.]''<br />
:'''All''': She's our guest!<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': She's our guest!<br />
:'''All''': She's our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest! Our command is your request!<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Let's go, people. Fun's over. Over here. Line up. Aaaaaaah!<br />
:'''All''': It's ten years since we had anybody here and we're obsessed! With your meal, with your ease, / Yes indeed, we aim to please / While the candlelight's still glowin' / Let us help you, we'll keep going!<br />
:''[The [[China]] and candlesticks perform an elaborately choreographed dance sequence, ending in a closeup of Lumière.]''<br />
:'''Lumière and All''': Course, by course / One by one / Til you shout "Enough, I'm done!" / Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you digest. Tonight you'll prop your feet up, But for let's eat up, Be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest! Please, '''BE...''' '''''OUR... <big>GUUUUUUUEEEEEEST!!!!!!</big>'''''<br />
:''[A fantastic ending comes of the song, with silverware flying through the air, plates and Featherdusters dancing, and Cogsworth the focus of attention, until Lumière comes sliding in and sends him flying out of camera range.]''<br />
:'''Belle''': Bravo! That was wonderful!<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Thank you, thank you, mademoiselle. Yes, good show, wasn't it everyone. ''[Looking at his own face]'' Oh, my goodness, will you look at the time. Now, it's off to bed, off to bed!<br />
:''[Lumière comes up next to Cogsworth.]''<br />
:'''Belle''': Oh, I couldn't possibly go to bed now. It's my first time in an enchanted castle.<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Enchanted? Who said anything about the castle being enchanted? ''[He tries to cover it up, just as a fork runs past. To Lumière]''<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': It was you, wasn't it!<br />
:'''Belle''': I, um, figured it out for myself.<br />
:''[Cogsworth and Lumière have been fighting. They both look at her, then stop. Cogsworth dusts himself off, and Lumière fixes his wax nose.]''<br />
:'''Belle''': I'd like to look around, if that's all right.<br />
:'''Lumière''': ''[excited]'' Oh! Would you like a tour?<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Wait a second, wait a second. I'm not sure that's such a good idea. ''[Confidentially, to Lumière]'' We can't let her go poking around in certain places, if you know what I mean.<br />
:'''Belle''': ''[Poking Cogsworth in the belly (like the Pillsbury doughboy)]'' Perhaps you could take me. I'm sure you know everything there is to know about the castle.<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[flattered]'' Well, actually, ah yes, I do!<br />
:''[Fade to Cogsworth, Lumière, and Belle walking down a hall with Sultan. Cogsworth is lecturing.]''<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': As you can see, the pseudo façade was stripped away to reveal a minimalist rococo design. Note the unusual inverted vaulted ceilings. This is yet another example of the neo-classic baroque period, and as I always say, if it's not baroque, don't fix it! Ha ha ha. Now then, where was I? ''[He turns to find the heads of the suits of armor have turned to follow Belle.]''<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': As you were! ''[They all snap back to face forward.]'' Now, if I may draw your attention to the flying buttresses above the--mademoiselle?<br />
:''[Cogsworth turns back to the group and is one girl short. He sees her beginning to climb the grand staircase. He and Lumière run up to her and jump in front of her, blocking her progress upstairs.]''<br />
:'''Belle''': What's up there?<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Where? Up there? Nothing. Absolutely nothing of interest at all in the West Wing. Dusty, dull, very boring. ''[Lumière has been shaking his head, but Cogsworth nudges him and he nods in agreement.]''<br />
:'''Belle''': Oh, so that's the West Wing.<br />
:'''Lumière''': ''[To Cogsworth]'' Nice going!<br />
:'''Belle''': I wonder what he's hiding up there.<br />
:'''Lumière''': Hiding? The Master is hiding nothing!<br />
:'''Belle''': Then, it wouldn't be forbidden.<br />
:''[She steps over them, but they dash up and block her again.]''<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Perhaps Mademoiselle would like to see something else. We have exquisite tapestries dating all the way back to...<br />
:'''Belle''': ''[again stepping over them]'' Maybe later.<br />
:'''Lumière''': ''[with Cogsworth, again dashing and blocking]'' The gardens, or the library perhaps?<br />
:'''Belle''': ''[Now, with incredible interest]'' You have a library?<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[Thrilled that he has found something to interest her]'' Oh. yes! Indeed!<br />
:'''Lumière''': With books!<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Gads of books!<br />
:'''Lumière''': Mountains of books!<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Forests of books!<br />
:'''Lumière''': Cascades...<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': ...of books!<br />
:'''Lumière''': Swamps of books!<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': More books than you'll ever be able to read in a lifetime! Books on every subject ever studied, by every author who ever set pen to paper...<br />
:''[Lumière and Cogsworth begin marching off, and Belle begins to follow, but her curiosity overtakes her, and she turns back to the West Wing. Her excitement begins to dwindle, though, when she enters the hallway leading to Beast's lair. As she walks down the hall, she stops to look in a mirror that has been shattered into several pieces, each one reflecting her concerned look. She reaches the end of the hall and finds a closed door with gargoyle handles. She takes a deep breath, then reaches out and opens the door. Inside the lair, where Belle begins to explore. She is truly shocked by everything she sees. She wanders around, looking, and knocks over a table, but she catches it before it crashes to the floor. She then turns her head and sees a shredded picture on the wall. We can only see part of a portrait. It is the same portrait that was shredded in the opening. Belle reaches out and lifts the shreds of the picture to reveal the prince. We never see this, however, for then she turns her head and sees the rose under the bell jar. She walks over to it, her eyes transfixes. She reaches out, then lifts off the jar, leaves the rose unprotected. She reaches up, brushes back the strand of hair that has been repeatedly falling on her forehead, then reaches out to touch the rose. As she nears it, a shadow falls over her and Belle gasps in shocked. Beast has been on the balcony, and sees her. He jumps back into the room, then slams the jar back on the rose. He then turns his attention to Belle]''<br />
:'''Beast''': ''[growing angrily-ish]'' Why did you come here?<br />
:'''Belle''': ''[backs away, scared]'' I'm- I'm sorry.<br />
:'''Beast''': I warned you never to come here!<br />
:'''Belle''': I didn't mean any harm.<br />
:'''Beast''': ''[angrier]'' Do you realize what you could have done?!<br />
:''[Beast begins to thrash at the furniture]''<br />
:'''Belle''': ''[pleaders, but still scared]'' Please, stop!<br />
:'''Beast''': ''[screaming]'' <big>'''''GET OUT!!!!'''''</big><br />
:'''Belle''': No!<br />
:'''Beast''': ''[screaming]'' <big>'''''GEEET OOOOOOUUUTT!!!!'''''</big><br />
:''[Belle turns and flees the room. Beast calms down, then falls into despair, finally realizes that he may have destroyed his chances with Belle for some reason. She reaches the stairway and grabs her cloak. She rushes down the stairs, wrapping the cloak around her and bursting past a confused Lumière and Cogsworth]''<br />
:'''Lumière''': Where are you going?<br />
:'''Belle''': Promise or no promise, I can't stay here another minute!<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Oh, no, wait, please! Please wait!<br />
:''[Lumière tries to respond, but Belle slams the door behind her. He and Cogsworth both bow their heads in sadness. When Belle outside in the forest on Philippe. She begins to ride through the forest, but Philippe comes to a stop. She looks up and sees the wolves. She gasps, then pulls the reins and begins to flee. She runs from side to side, making the wolves hit the trees (a la Speederbike chase in '''[[w:Return of the Jedi|Return of the Jedi]]'''). Philippe runs out on a frozen pond, but his and Belle's weight collapse the ice. The wolves chase her into the water. Some begin to drown, but Philippe is able to get out of the water before anything serious happens. He runs into a clears, but becomes surrounded by wolves. He bucks, throws Belle off and wrapped the reins around a tree branch. The wolves begin their attack on Philippe, but Belle comes to his rescue and beats them away with a stick. One wolf grabs the stick in its mouth and breaks half of it off, leaves Belle defenseless. Another leaps at her, grabs the corner of her cloak and dragging her to the ground]''<br />
:'''Belle''': <big>'''''NO!!!'''''</big> ''[She looks up and sees a wolf about to jump on top of her. It leaps and is caught in mid-air by Beast. He throws the wolf away, then stands behind them and Belle. They lunge at each other. One rips a hole in Beast's shoulder, and the others focus their attack on that spot. Finally, Beast throws a wolf against a tree, knocks it out. The others turn and run in fear. Beast turns back to Belle, looks at her despairingly, then collapses. Belle, grateful to be alive, turns back to Philippe and begins to get on, but her conscience takes over, and she walks over to the fallen Beast. Fade to Belle and Philippe walking back to the castle, with Beast on the horse's back. Fade to inside the den, with Belle pouring hot water out of Mrs. Potts. She soaks a rag in the water, then turns to Beast, who is licking his wounds, dampening rag]'' Here, now. ''[sees The Beast licking the wound on his arm]'' Oh, don't do that. ''[The Beast backs away with a growl as the servants start to back away in fear]'' Just hold still. ''[places the rag on The Beast's wound; The Beast mighty roars in pain and the Servants takes cover]''<br />
:'''Beast''': <big>'''''THAT HURTS!!!'''''</big><br />
:'''Belle''': If you'd hold still, it wouldn't hurt as much!<br />
:'''Beast''': Well, if you hadn't have run away, this wouldn't have happened.<br />
:'''Belle''': If you hadn't frightened me, I wouldn't have run away.<br />
:'''Beast''': Well, ''you'' shouldn't have been in The West Wing!<br />
:'''Belle''': Well, ''you'' should learn to control your temper. Now, hold still. This might sting a little.<br />
:'''Beast''': Hmm? Mmm!<br />
:'''Belle''': By the way, thank you, for saving my life.<br />
:'''Beast''': You're welcome.<br />
:''[The camera zooms out and we see the objects looking on with interest. Fade to Gaston's Tavern, which is empty except for Gaston, LeFou and Monsieur D'Arque, who are all sitting at a table]''<br />
:'''Monsieur D'Arque''': I don't usually leave the asylum in the middle of the night, but they said you'd make it worth my while. ''[Gaston pulls out a sack of gold and tosses it in front of him. He takes out a piece, scrapes it on his chin and continues]'' Aah, I'm listening.<br />
:'''Gaston''': It's like this. I've got my heart set on marrying Belle, but she needs a little persuasion.<br />
:'''LeFou''': ''[butting in]'' Turned him down flat!<br />
:''[Gaston slams a beer mug on his head]''<br />
:'''Gaston''': Everyone knows her father's a lunatic. He was in here tonight raving about a beast in a castle...<br />
:'''Monsieur D'Arque''': Maurice is harmless.<br />
:'''Gaston''': The point is, Belle would do anything to keep him from being locked up.<br />
:'''LeFou''': Yeah, even marry him!<br />
:''[Gaston gives him another threatening look, and he ducks back under the mug]''<br />
:'''Monsieur D'Arque''': So you want me to throw her father in the asylum unless she agrees to marry you? ''[They both nod in agreement]'' Oh, that is despicable. I love it!<br />
:''[Inside Belle's cottage, Maurice is packing to leave]''<br />
:'''Maurice''': If no one will help me, then I'll go back alone. I don't care what it takes. I'll find that castle and somehow I'll get her out of there.<br />
:''[Maurice leaves to go find Belle, Gaston and LeFou enter her house to look for him and Belle.]''<br />
:'''Gaston''': Belle? Maurice?<br />
:'''LeFou''': Oh, well. I guess it's not go to work, after all.<br />
:'''Gaston''': ''[grabs LeFou by his collar and carries him out]'' They have to come back sometime. And when they do, we'll be ready for them. LeFou, ''[throws him into the pile of snow nearby]'' don't move from that spot, until Belle and her father come home. ''[leaves on a horse wagon]''<br />
:'''LeFou''': But... But I... ''[struggles to get free in an attempt, but finds that Gaston has left him to freeze to death, much to his anger; hits a wood]'' Ah, nuts! ''[snow falls on him]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Outside the castle. Belle is playing in the snow with Phillipe and Sultan. Beast, Cogsworth and Lumière watch from the balcony.]''<br />
:'''Beast''': I've never felt this way about anyone. ''[Looks excited]'' I want to do something for her. ''[Looks discouraged.]'' But what?<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Well, there's the usual things-- flowers, chocolates, promises you don't intend to keep...<br />
:'''Lumière''': Ahh, no, no. It has to be something very special. Something that sparks her inter-- wait a minute.<br />
:''[Cut to interior hallway leading to library. Beast and Belle are alone.]''<br />
:'''Beast''': Belle, there's something I want to show you. ''[Begins to open the door, then stops.]'' But first, you have to close your eyes.<br />
:''[She looks at him questioningly.]''<br />
:'''Beast''': It's a surprise.<br />
:''[Belle closes her eyes, and Beast waves his hand in front of her. Then he opens the door. He leads her in.]''<br />
:'''Belle''': ''[Just as she enters the room]'' Can I open them?<br />
:'''Beast''': No, no. Not yet. Wait here.<br />
:''[Beast walks away to draw back the curtains. He does, and brilliant sunlight spills into the room. Belle flinches reflexively as the light hits her face.]''<br />
:'''Belle''': Now can I open them?<br />
:'''Beast''': All right. Now.<br />
:''[Belle opens her eyes and the camera pulls back to reveal the gigantic library filled with books.]''<br />
:'''Belle''': I can't believe it. I've never seen so many books in all my life!<br />
:'''Beast''': You--you like it?<br />
:'''Belle''': It's wonderful.<br />
:'''Beast''': Then it's yours.<br />
:'''Belle''': Oh, thank you so much.<br />
:''[Cut to Belle and Beast in background, with Objects including Chip in foreground watching them.]''<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, would you look at that?<br />
:'''Lumière''': Ha ha! I knew it would work.<br />
:'''Chip''': What? What works?<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': It's very encouraging.<br />
:'''Fifi''': Isn't this exciting!<br />
:'''Chip''': I didn't see anything.<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Come along, Chip. There's chores to be done in the kitchen.<br />
:'''Chip''': But what are they talking about? What's going on? Come on, Mum.<br />
:''[Objects walk away. Fade to breakfast table with Belle at one end and Beast at the other, with Mrs. Potts between them. Belle is served breakfast, and as she begins to eat, she looks at Beast, gobbling up his food with no table manners whatsoever. Chip laughs, but Mrs. Potts shoots him an admonishing look. Belle turns away and tries to ignore it, but Chip comes to the rescue. He nudges the spoon with his nose, and Beast reaches out for it (very 3-D-ishly). Belle looks at him in wonder as he tries to eat with the spoon, but he has little success. Finally, Belle puts down her spoon and lifts her bowl as if in a toast. Beast looks at the compromise and does the same. They both begin to sip their breakfast out of their bowls. Fade to courtyard where Belle and Beast are feeding the birds.]''<br />
:'''Belle''': There's something sweet / And almost kind / But he was mean / And he was coarse and unrefined. But now he's dear / And so unsure, / I wonder why I didn't see it there before. ''[Belle is trying to attract some birds to Beast, who shoves a handful of seed at them. Finally, she takes a handful and gently spreads it out, creating a trail. One lands in his hands, and he looks up thrilled.]''<br />
:'''Beast''': She glanced this way / I thought I saw / And when we touched / She didn't shudder at my paw / No, it can't be / I'll just ignore / But then she's never looked at me that way before. ''[Belle has ducked around a tree, leaving Beast with the birds. She begins to look doubtful again, but turns her head around the tree and laughs. Beast is covered with birds.]''<br />
:'''Belle''': New, and a bit alarming / Who'd have ever thought that this could be? / True, that he's no Prince Charming / But there's something in him that I simply didn't see.<br />
:''[Belle throws a snowball at Beast, who had looked at her proudly after the birds flew away. He begins to gather a large pile of snow. We cut to the Objects, looking out of a window at the two. In the background, Belle throws another snowball at Beast, who drops his huge pile of snow on his head. He chases her around a tree, but she ducks around the other side and sneaks up on him from behind.]''<br />
:'''Lumière''': Well, who'd have thought?<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Well, bless my soul.<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': And who'd have known?<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Well, who indeed?<br />
:'''Lumière''': And who'd have guessed they'd come together on their own?<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': It's so peculiar.<br />
:'''All''': We'll wait and see / A few days more / There may be something there that wasn't there before.<br />
:''[Fade to den where Belle sits in front of a roaring fire and reads to Beast. Objects including Chip watch from doorway]''<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Yes, perhaps there's something there that wasn't there before.<br />
:'''Chip''': What?<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': There may be something there that wasn't there before.<br />
:'''Chip''': What's there, Mama?<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': I'll tell you when you're older.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Inside The Beast's lair. He is in the tub getting washed up for the big night with Belle. Lumière is there with him.]''<br />
:'''Lumière''': Tonight is the night!<br />
:'''Beast''': ''[hesitantly]'' I'm not sure I can do this.<br />
:'''Lumière''': You don't have time to be timid. You must be bold, daring.<br />
:'''Beast''': Bold. Daring. ''[Beast has emerged from the tub and shakes himself dry.]''<br />
:'''Lumière''': There will be music. Romantic candlelight, provided myself, and when the time is right, you confess your love.<br />
:'''Beast''': ''[Inspired]'' Yes, I -- I con--No, I can't.<br />
:'''Lumière''': You care for the girl, don't you?<br />
:'''Beast''': More than anything.<br />
:'''Lumière''': Well then you must tell her. ''[Coatrack has been cutting Beast's hair. It finishes and steps back.]'' Voila. You look so...so... ''[Cut to shot of Beast in pig-tails and bows.]''<br />
:'''Beast''': Stupid.<br />
:'''Lumière''': Not quite the word I was looking for. Perhaps a little more off the top.<br />
:''[Coatrack begins to cut and chop again. Cogsworth enters.]''<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Ahem ahem ahem. Your lady awaits.<br />
:''[Cut to grand staircase, where Belle descends from the West Wing side in a glittering gold ball gown. She reaches the landing and looks up at Beast, who is standing at the top of the stairs in his dress clothes. He is nudged on by Lumière from behind the curtain, and he descends and meets Belle at the landing. Arm in arm, they descend the last section of stairs and continue on their way to dinner, stopped momentarily by Sultan. Mrs. Potts sings from her cart with Chip on board.]''<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Tale as old as time / True as it can be / Barely even friends / Then somebody bends / Unexpectedly / Just a little change / Small to say the least / Both a little scared / Neither one prepared / Beauty and the Beast ''[Belle and Beast have moved into the ballroom, where they move through a computer perfect dance sequence. Beast occasionally looks over at Lumière and Cogsworth for their approval. Mrs. Potts and Chip are in the ballroom on their cart.]'' Ever just the same / Ever a surprise / Ever as before, ever just as sure / As the sun will rise / Tale as old as time / Tune as old as song / Bittersweet and strange, / Finding you can change, learning you were wrong / Certain as the sun / Rising in the east / Tale as old as time, / Song as old as rhyme, Beauty and the Beast. / Tale as old as time, / Song as old as rhyme, Beauty and the Beast. ''[To Chip]'' Off to the cupboard with you now, Chip. It's past your bedtime. Good night, love. ''[Chip slides off the end of the cart, and hops out of the room, but comes back for one last look. Belle and Beast have adjourned to the balcony under a starry night.]''<br />
:'''Beast''': Belle? Are you happy here with me?<br />
:'''Belle''': ''[Hesitantly]'' Yes. ''[She looks off into the distance]''<br />
:'''Beast''': What is it?<br />
:'''Belle''': ''[Looks at him desperately]'' If only I could see my father again, just for a moment. I miss him so much.<br />
:'''Beast''': ''[Looks disappointed for a moment, then excited.]'' There is a way. ''[The pair adjourn to Beast's lair, where Beast hands Belle the magic mirror.]'' This mirror will show you anything, anything you wish to see.<br />
:'''Belle''': ''[Hesitantly]'' I'd like to see my father, please. ''[The magic mirror shines into life, and Belle turns her head away as it flashes. Then it reveals Maurice fallen in the woods, coughing and lost. Belle is shocked. Beast looks at her with concern.]'' Papa. Oh, no. He's sick, he may be dying. And he's all alone. ''[Beast turns, then looks at the rose, deep in thought.]''<br />
:'''Beast''': Then... then, you must go to him.<br />
:'''Belle''': What did you say?<br />
:'''Beast''': I release you. You're no longer my prisoner.<br />
:'''Belle''': You mean... I'm free?<br />
:'''Beast''': Yes.<br />
:'''Belle''': Oh, thank you. Hold on, Papa. I’m on my way.<br />
:'''Beast''': Take it with you so you'll always have a way to look back and remember me.<br />
:'''Belle''': Thank you for understanding how much he needs me. ''[Belle turns to leave and Beast looks down in depression. She touches her hand to his cheek and rushes out. We see Belle's skirt fly past Cogsworth, who has entered the room.]''<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Well, Your Highness, I have to say that everything it's going great I knew that she was capable.<br />
:'''Beast''': I let her go.<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[chuckles]'' Yes, yes. Splen-- ''[realizes what the Beast just said]'' You what? How could you do that?<br />
:'''Beast''': I had to.<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Yes, but why?<br />
:'''Beast''': Because... I love her.<br />
:''[Cut to Cogsworth telling the rest of the Objects about Beast's decision.]''<br />
:'''All''': ''[except Cogsworth]'' He did '''''WHAT?!'''''<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Yes, I'm afraid it's true.<br />
:'''Chip:''' She's going away?<br />
:'''Lumière''': But he was so close.<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': After all this time, he's finally learned to love.<br />
:'''Lumière''': That's it, then. That should break the spell.<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': But it's not enough. She has to love him in return.<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': And now it's too late.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Cut to Beast watching Belle leave from above. He roars in sorrow and anger. His roar turns into the sound of the wind. Belle is out in the snow.]''<br />
:'''Belle''': Papa? Papa? ''[gasps]''<br />
:''[Finally, she finds him face down in a snowbank. They return home, where LeFou is still waiting, disguised as a snowman.]''<br />
:'''LeFou''': Oh, they're back.<br />
:''[Cut to black. POV of Maurice as his eyes open. He sees Belle.]''<br />
:'''Maurice''': Belle?<br />
:'''Belle''': It's all right, Papa. I'm home.<br />
:'''Maurice''': I thought I'd never see you again.<br />
:'''Belle''': I missed you so much.<br />
:'''Maurice''': But the Beast. How did you escape?<br />
:'''Belle''': I didn't escape, Papa. He let me go.<br />
:'''Maurice''': That horrible Beast?<br />
:'''Belle''': But he's different, now. He's changed somehow.<br />
:''[There is a sound coming from Belle's pack. The flap opens and the magic mirror falls out with Chip rolling to a stop on it.]''<br />
:'''Chip''': Hi!<br />
:'''Belle''': Oh, a stowaway.<br />
:'''Maurice''': Why, hello there, little fella. Didn't think I'd ever see you again. ''[Chip turns to Belle with a look of question on his face.]''<br />
:'''Chip''': Belle, why'd you go away? Don't you like us anymore?<br />
:'''Belle''': Oh, Chip. Of course I do. It's just that--<br />
:''[There is a knocking at the door. Belle opens it and Monsieur D'Arque stands on the porch.]''<br />
:'''Belle''': May I help you?<br />
:'''Monsieur D'Arque''': I've come to collect your father.<br />
:'''Belle''': My father?<br />
:'''Monsieur D'Arque''': Don't worry, mademoiselle. We'll take good care of him.<br />
:'''Belle''': My father's not crazy.<br />
:'''LeFou''': He was raving like a lunatic. We all heard him, didn't we!<br />
:'''Bystanders''': Yes!<br />
:'''Belle''': No, I won't let you.<br />
:'''Maurice''': Belle?<br />
:'''LeFou''': Maurice. Tell us again, old man, just how big was the Beast?<br />
:'''Maurice''': Well, he was... that is... enormous. I'd say at least eight, no more like ten feet.<br />
:'''LeFou''': Well, you don't get much crazier than that.<br />
:'''Maurice''': It's true, I tell you!<br />
:'''LeFou''': Get him out of here!<br />
:'''Maurice''': Let go of me!<br />
:'''Belle''': No, you can't do this!<br />
:'''Gaston''': Poor Belle. It's a shame about your father.<br />
:'''Belle''': You know he's not crazy, Gaston.<br />
:'''Gaston''': Hmm. I think I might be able to clear up this little misunderstanding, if...<br />
:'''Belle''': If what?<br />
:'''Gaston''': If you marry me.<br />
:'''Belle''': What?<br />
:'''Gaston''': One little word, Belle. That's all it takes.<br />
:'''Belle''': Never.<br />
:'''Gaston''': Have it your way.<br />
:'''Maurice''': Belle? Let go of me!<br />
:'''Belle''': My father's not crazy and I can prove it! Show me The Beast!<br />
:'''Woman #1''': Is it dangerous?<br />
:'''Belle''': Oh, no, no. He'd never hurt anyone. Please, I know he looks vicious, but he's really kind and gentle. He's my friend.<br />
:'''Gaston''': If I didn't know better, I'd think you had feelings for this monster.<br />
:'''Belle''': He's no monster, Gaston. You are!<br />
:'''Gaston''': She's as crazy as the old man! The Beast will make off with your children! He'll come after them in the night!<br />
:'''Belle''': No!<br />
:'''Gaston''': We're not safe until his head is mounted on my wall! I say we kill The Beast!<br />
:''[Mob cheers him and repeats the words 'kill him'.]''<br />
:'''Man #1''': We're not safe until he's dead.<br />
:'''Man #2''': He'll come stalkin' us at night!<br />
:'''Woman #1''': Set to sacrifice our children to his monstrous appetite!<br />
:'''Man #3''': He'll wreak havoc on our village / If we let him wander free.<br />
:'''Gaston''': So, it's time, to take some action, boys, it's tiiime, tooo, folloooww, meeeeee!!!!!! ''[Gaston throws a torch into a haystack, creating an instant bonfire. He begins to prance around it, warning of the dangers of the horrible Beast.]'' Through the mist, through the woods / Through the darkness and the shadows / It's a nightmare but it's one exciting ride. / Say a prayer, then we're there / At the drawbridge of a castle, And there's something truly terrible inside. ''[Gaston chases LeFou around, mimicking a monster.]'' It's a Beast, He's got fangs, razor sharp ones / Massive paws, Killer claws for the feast ''[Magic mirror shows the face of Beast to LeFou, which Gaston exaggerates about.]'' Hear him roar, see him foam, But we're not comin' home, Until he's dead / Good and dead, kill The Beast!<br />
:'''Belle''': ''[Interjecting]'' No, I won't let you do this.<br />
:'''Gaston''': If you're not with us, you're against us. Bring the old man. ''[Gaston is snatched the mirror and clutches the pants]''<br />
:'''Maurice''': Get your hands off me! ''[Gaston throws them into the basement and bolts the door.]''<br />
:'''Gaston''': We can't have them runnin' off to warn the creature!<br />
:'''Belle''': <big>'''''LET US OUT!!!'''''</big><br />
:'''Gaston''': ''[To the crowd]'' We'll rid the village of this Beast. '''''Who's with me?''''' <br />
:''[A chorus of "I am"s comes from the crowd]''<br />
:'''Mob''': Light your torch, mount your horse!<br />
:'''Gaston''': Screw your courage to the sticking place<br />
:'''Mob''': We're countin' on Gaston to lead the way! Through a mist, to a wood, Where within a haunted castle, Something's lurking that you don't see every day! ''[Gaston leads the Mob through the town and out into the forest, where they start chopping trees in preparation for their assault on the castle.]'' It's a Beast, One as tall as a mountain! We won't rest / Until he's good and deceased! Sally forth, tally ho, Grab your sword, grab your bow / Praise the Lord and here we go!<br />
:'''Gaston''': <big>'''''WE'LL LAY SIEGE TO HIS CASTLE AND BRING BACK HIS HEAD!!!'''''</big><br />
:''[Cut to interior of basement, where Belle is prying at the window with a stick.]''<br />
:'''Belle''': I have to warn The Beast. This is all my fault. Oh, Papa. What are we going to do?<br />
:'''Maurice''': ''[Comforting her]'' Now, now. We'll think of something. ''[We see Chip looking in through the window. He turns around, thinking, and then he sees Maurice's contraption with the axe on the end of it.]''<br />
:'''Mob''': We don't like, what we don't / Understand, it frankly scares us / And this monster is mysterious at least! Bring your guns, bring your knives, Save your children and your wives, We'll save our village and our lives, We'll kill the Beast!<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': I knew it, I knew it was foolish to get our hopes up.<br />
:'''Lumière''': Maybe it would have been better if she had never come at all. ''[Sultan comes in barking. They rush over to the window expecting the return of Belle.]'' Could it be?<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Is it she?<br />
:'''Lumière''': ''[Realizing the Mob is not Belle]'' Sacre bleu, invaders!<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Encroachers!<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': ''[Seeing Gaston]'' And they have the mirror!<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': ''[Issuing orders]'' Warn The Master. If it's a fight they want, we'll be ready for them. ''[Turns around from window]'' Who's with me? Aahh!<br />
:''[The door is slammed as the rest of the Objects leave Cogsworth behind.]''<br />
:'''Gaston''': Take whatever booty you can find, but remember, The Beast is mine!<br />
:''[Cut to stairway, where Objects are marching down to do battle with the Mob.]''<br />
:'''Objects''': Hearts ablaze, banners high! We go marching into battle, Unafraid, although the danger just increased!<br />
:'''Mob''': Raise the flag, sing the song / Here we come, we're fifty strong, and 50 Frenchmen can't be wro-o-o-ong, Let's kill the Beast!<br />
:''[Cut to interior of Beast's lair, where Mrs. Potts is briefing him.]''<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Pardon me, Master.<br />
:'''Beast''': Leave me in peace.<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': But, sir, the castle is under attack!<br />
:'''Mob''': Kill the Beast, kill the Beast!<br />
:''[The Objects have tried to block off the door, but it is being bashed in by the Mob.]''<br />
:'''Lumière''': This isn't working!<br />
:'''Fifi''': Oh, Lumière! We must do something!<br />
:'''Lumière''': Wait! I know!<br />
:'''Mob''': Kill the Beast, kill the Beast!<br />
:''[Cut to Beast's lair]''<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': What shall we do, master?<br />
:'''Beast''': ''[Still very sad]'' It doesn't matter now. Just let them come.<br />
:'''Mob''': Kill the Beast, kill the Beast, kill the Beast!! ''[The Mob succeeds in breaking in, and finds a grand entrance filled with assorted pieces of furniture, teacups, candlesticks, Featherdusters and clocks. They tiptoe in, and LeFou unknowingly picks up Lumière.]''<br />
:'''Lumière''': '''''NOW!!!''''' ''[All the Objects spring into life, attacking their human enemies. Cut back to Belle's home, where Chip has readied the invention with purple smoke.]''<br />
:'''Chip''': Yes! Here we go! <br />
:''[Chip has a rise in Maurice's invention with a violin sounds louder. Maurice looks out from the window and sees the advancing axe.]''<br />
:'''Maurice''': What the devil? Belle, look out!<br />
:''[The invention crashes into the door, and a red cloud of smoke poofs out of the basement. Belle and Maurice emerge from the wreckage to find Chip swinging on a loose spring.]''<br />
:'''Chip''': You guys gotta try this thing.<br />
:''[Cut back to the castle where the attack continues.]''<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Up here, you scurvy scum! Now! ''[She and all the cups pour boiling tea on the guy's head.]''<br />
:''[Cut back to the castle where the attack continues. Meanwhile, Gaston has broken off from the Mob, and is searching out Beast. Belle, Maurice, Philippe and Chip are making their way to the castle. Finally, the invaders (a la Invaders storm in '''[[w:Willow (1988 film)|Willow]]''').]''<br />
:'''Stove''': Roaaaar!<br />
:'''Tom, Stanley and LeFou''': '''AAAAAAAAH!!'''<br />
:'''LeFou''': Move, move, move, move!<br />
:''[They are chased out and the Objects celebrate their victory.]''<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': And stay out! ''[Lumière pulls over Cogsworth and kisses him once on each cheek. Cogsworth shakes it off.]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Cut to Gaston, who finds Beast's lair. He raises his crossbow and takes aim. Beast looks up at him, then looks back down in sadness again. Gaston releases the arrow and it strikes Beast in the shoulder. He screams in pain and stands. Gaston rushes him and they fly out the window onto the balcony, where it has begun to rain.]''<br />
:'''Gaston''': Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! ''[Gaston corners Beast on the edge of the roof. Beast simply sits there in despair.]'' Get up! Get up! What's the matter, Beast? Too kind and gentle to fight back?<br />
:''[Beast looks down ignoring him. Gaston walks into the foreground and breaks off a piece of the roof. He is about to smash it on Beast's head when Belle's voice drifts up. She is on the bridge and is yelling to Gaston, telling him to stop.]''<br />
:'''Belle''': No!<br />
:'''Beast''': Belle.<br />
:'''Belle''': No, Gaston, don't! Let's go, Philippe.<br />
:'''Gaston''': ''[to Beast]'' <big>'''''COME ON, OUT AND FIGHT?!'''''</big> We're you in love with her, Beast? '''''DID YOU HONESTLY THINK SHE'D WANT YOU WHEN SHE HAD SOMEONE LIKE ME?!'''''<br />
:''[The Beast has been provoked enough. He emerges and they fight again]''<br />
:'''Gaston''': It's over, Beast! '''''BELLE IS MINE!!'''''<br />
:''[The Beast and Gaston are fighting on top of the castle; the Beast strikes at him, grabs him and holds him over the edge]''<br />
:'''Gaston''': ''[Last Words]'' Let me go, let me go! Please... don't hurt me! I'll do anything! '''''ANYTHING!!!!'''''<br />
:''[The Beast glares with fury, then his anger slowly melts as he realizes that Gaston's what he could've become. He pulls Gaston back in and close to his face]''<br />
:'''Beast''': ''[in a calm, but tranquil fury manner]'' Get out. ''[shoves Gaston to the ground]''<br />
:'''Gaston''': Oof!<br />
:'''Belle''': ''[comes out on the balcony]'' Beast!<br />
:'''Beast''': Belle. ''[begins to climb the tower until he reaches the balcony. He hangs over the side]'' Belle? ''[they reached their hands as they reunite]'' You came back.<br />
:''[The Beast and Belle stare passionately at each other, but the moment is interrupted when Gaston sneaks up and stubs the Beast in the back with a knife. The Beast roars in pain and Gaston pulls the knife out and swings back for another shot. The Beast starts to fall, knocks over Gaston off his balances. Belle reaches forward and pulls the Beast back, while Gaston falls off into the castle moats to his death with a scream. Belle helps the injured Beast up onto the balcony, where he lies down on the floor. The Servants come rushing out but stay out of sight. The Beast lays dying with Belle at his side; meanwhile, the rose is down to its last petal, weakly]'' <br />
:'''Beast''': You... You came back.<br />
:'''Belle''': Of course, I came back. I couldn't let them.... ''[hugs the Beast]'' Oh, this is all my fault. If only I'd gotten here sooner.<br />
:'''Beast''': Maybe it's better...it's better this way.<br />
:'''Belle''': Don't talk like that. You'll be all right. We're together now. Everything's going to be fine. You'll see.<br />
:'''Beast''': ''[He reaches up and touches Belle's cheek]'' At least... I got to see you... one last time. ''[his paw falls and his eyes close as he dies]''<br />
:'''Belle''': ''[gasps]'' No. No. Please. Please. Please don't leave me. ''[sobs]'' I love you. ''[The last petal falls away, leaving Cogsworth, Lumière, and Mrs. Potts distraught; suddenly, a magical shower falls around The Beast and Belle, and the Beast rises into the air, turning into a human prince Adam, whose name was Prince Adam; then, he lands on the ground and when he gets up, he turns toward Belle]''<br />
:'''Prince Adam''': Belle... it's me.<br />
:'''Belle''': ''[looks into his eyes and recognizes him from the portrait]'' It ''is'' you!<br />
:''[They kiss, a fireworks display explodes around them. The gloom surrounding, the castle disappears, revealing a blue sky]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Last lines; The castle is transformed, with the gargoyles changing into cherubs. Finally, we return to the balcony, where the servants hop out to meet Prince Adam and Belle. One by one, they are transformed back to their original human conditions]''<br />
:'''Prince Adam''': Lumiere! Cogsworth! Oh, Mrs. Potts! Look at us! ''[Chip comes riding in on Sultan]''<br />
:'''Chip''': Mama! Mama! ''[The pair transforms back into a dog and boy]''<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': ''[Picking up her boy]'' Oh, my goodness!<br />
:'''Lumière''': It is a miracle! <br />
:'''Belle''': How wonderful! ''[Prince Adam picks up Belle and swings her around. The ruffles of her skirt wipe to the ballroom, where all are gathered to celebrate, Prince Adam and Belle dance around the room as the rest at the characters]''<br />
:'''Lumière''': Ah, l'amour. ''[Lumière says this, and a maid, obviously the former Featherduster Fifi walks by, brushing him on the chin; chuckles, starts to chase after her, but Cogsworth stops him]''<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Well, Lumiere, old friend. Shall we let bygones be bygones?<br />
:'''Lumière''': Of course, mon ami. I told you she would break the spell.<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': I beg your pardon, old friend, but I believe I told you.<br />
:'''Lumière''': No, you didn't. I told you.<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': You most certainly did not, you pompous paraffin-headed pea-brain!<br />
:'''Lumière''': En garde, you overgrown pocket watch! ''[Lumière takes off his glove and slaps Cogsworth across the face with it. They begin to fight. Cut to Belle and Prince Adam who continue to dance around the floor. The camera stops on Mrs. Potts, Chip and Maurice, who is beginning to crying]''<br />
:'''Chip''': Are they going to live happily ever after, Mama?<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Of course, my dear. Of course.<br />
:'''Chip''': ''[tiny pauses]'' Do I still have to sleep in the cupboard? ''[Maurice laughs and Mrs. Potts hugs her child and laughs. Cut to a camera looking over the entire ballroom with all in the shot. It slowly zooms out with Belle and Prince Adam dancing around the room, and fades into the final stained glass window, this one with Belle and Prince Adam in the center, surrounded by the rest of the characters]''<br />
:'''Chorus''': Certain as the sun / Rising in the east / Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme / Beauty and the Beast!| Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme / Beauty and the beast!<br />
<br />
===Special Edition Release===<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Right, then! You all know why we're here. We have exactly 12 hours, 36 minutes, and 15 seconds to create the most magical, spontaneous, romantic atmosphere known to man or Beast. ''[Chuckles weakly]'' "Or Beast..." Right. Need I remind you that if the last petal falls from this rose, the spell will never be broken?! Very well. You all know your assignments. Half of you to the West Wing, half of you to the East Wing, the rest of you, come with me.<br />
:'''Lumière''': Hoho, lighten up Cogsworth, and let nature take its course.<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': It's obvious there's a spark between them.<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Yes, yes, yes... But there's no harm in fanning the flames. You know, a little. Besides, they must fall in love tonight if we ever expect to be human again.<br />
:'''Lumière''': Aaah... human again...<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Human again...<br />
:'''Lumière''': Yes, think what that means... ''[singing]'' I'll be cooking again, be good-looking again, With a mademoiselle on each arm / When I'm human again, only human again / Poised and polish and gleaming with charm / I'll be courting again, chic and sporting again<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Which should cause several husbands alarm<br />
:'''Lumière''': ''(Ha, ha!)'' I'll hop down off this shelf, and tout de suite be myself,<br />
:'''Lumière, Mrs. Potts and Cogsworth''': I can't wait to be human again<br />
:'''Essentials''': When we're human again, only human again / When we're knickknacks and whatnots no more / When we're human again, good and human again<br />
:'''Wardrobe''': O, chérie, won't it all be top drawer? I'll wear lipstick and rouge / And I won't be so huge / Why, I'll easily fit through that door / I'll exude savoir faire / I'll wear gowns, I'll have hair / It's my prayer to be human again<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts and Cogsworth''': When we're human again, only human again / When the world once more starts making sense<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': I'll unwind, for a change<br />
:'''Lumière''': Really? That'd be strange<br />
:'''Cogsworth''': Can I help it if I'm t-t-tense? In a shack by the sea, I'll sit back, sipping tea Let my early retirement commence Far from fools made of wax, I'll get down to brass tacks and real-A-A-A-x!<br />
:'''Chorus''': When I'm human again! So sweep the dust from the floor / Let's let some light in the room / I can feel, I can tell someone might break the spell any day now / Shine up the brass on the door / Alert the dust pail and broom / If it all goes as planned our time may be at hand any day now<br />
:'''Fifi and the maids''': Open the shutters and let in some air<br />
:'''Mrs. Potts''': Put these here and put those over there<br />
:'''Chorus''': Sweep up the years, the sadness and tears and throw them away / We'll be human again, only human again / When the girl finally sets us all free / Cheeks a-blooming again, we're assuming again / We'll resume our long-lost joie de vivre / We'll be playing again, holidaying again / And we're praying it's ASAP / Little push, little shove / They could both fall in love / And we'll finally be human again...<br />
:''[Transition to the library]''<br />
:'''Belle''': "...For there never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo."<br />
:'''Beast''': Could you read it again?<br />
:'''Belle''': Well, here. Why don't you read it to me?<br />
:'''Beast''': Uhhh...Alright. Hmm... I- I can't.<br />
:'''Belle''': You mean you never learned?<br />
:'''Beast''': I learned, a little. It's just been so long.<br />
:'''Belle''': Well here, I'll help you. Let's start...here.<br />
:'''Beast''': Here, twoe...?<br />
:'''Belle''': Two.<br />
:'''Beast''': Two, I knew that. Two households, both alike in dignity...<br />
:''[sung]''<br />
:'''Chorus''': We'll be dancing again, we'll be twirling again / We'll whirling around with such ease / When we're human again, only human again / We'll go waltzing those old one-two-threes / We'll be floating again, we'll be gliding again /Stepping, striding, as fine as you please / Like a real human does, I'll be all that I was / On that glorious morn, when we're finally re-born / And we're all of us human again!<br />
<br />
==CELINE DION & PEABO BRYSON lyrics (Beauty and the Beast)==<br />
:'''Celine Dion''': Ooh, ooh / Tale as old as time / True as it can be / Barely even friends / Then somebody bends / Unexpectedly<br />
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Just a little change / Small, to say the least / Both a little scared / Neither one prepared<br />
:'''Celine Dion & Peabo Bryson''': Beauty and the beast / Ever just the same / Ever a surprise / Ever as before / Ever just as sure / As the sun will rise<br />
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Whoa, whoa-oh, whoa, oh<br />
:'''Celine Dion''': Ohh, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh<br />
:'''Celine Dion & Peabo Bryson''': Ever just the same<br />
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Yeah / Ever a surprise<br />
:'''Celine Dion & Peabo Bryson''': Ever as before<br />
:'''Celine Dion''': Ever just as sure<br />
:'''Celine Dion & Peabo Bryson''': As the sun will rise<br />
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Oh, oh, oh<br />
:'''Celine Dion''': Tale as old as time<br />
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Ooh-ooh, ohh-ooh<br />
:'''Celine Dion''': Tune as old as song<br />
:'''Celine Dion & Peabo Bryson''': Bittersweet and strange / Finding you can change / Learning you were wrong<br />
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Certain as the sun<br />
:'''Celine Dion''': Certain as the sun<br />
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Rising in the east<br />
:'''Celine Dion''': Tale as old as time<br />
:'''Celine Dion & Peabo Bryson''': Song as old as rhyme / Beauty and the beast<br />
:'''Celine Dion''': Tale as old as time<br />
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Song as old as rhyme<br />
:'''Celine Dion & Peabo Bryson''': Beauty and the beast<br />
:'''Peabo Bryson''': Oh Oh, whoa-oh<br />
:'''Celine Dion''': Ooh / Beauty and the beast<br />
<br />
== About ''Beauty and the Beast (1991 film)'' ==<br />
* Well, [originally] when we were planning the big elaborate dance sequence that would include a moving camera craning up to the ceiling on the characters that would really have more of a live action feel to them—there was always this nagging doubt in our minds that it wasn't going to work at all (laughs). We had sort of a back-up plan just in case, if none of this works we'll just turn off all the lights and Bella and the Beast will be dancing in a little spotlight in a darkened room like an ice skating show (laughs). Fortunately, when we got the first piece of test film back, it was amazingly breathtaking, made a big sigh of relief because we knew it was going to work.<br />
* We actually designed all the camera movement first and animated the characters to match that.<br />
* We created computer generated stand-ins, the ballroom was sort of a chicken-wire kind of thing and Bella & the Beast were represented by these box and egg sort of things.<br />
* You have to make all the same decisions that a live action director would have to make. Everything from where to put the camera to what the emotional tone of the scene is going to be, in addition to answering all the questions about costume design and weather and color and all the numerous elements that go into making the scene. We're there every step of the way from the very first crude character designs and early storyboards to how loud the footsteps of the Beast should be as he's walking across the marble floor. We shepherd the process from beginning to end.<br />
** [[w:Kirk Wise|Kirk Wise]] [http://www.bigmoviezone.com/articles/index.html?uniq=84]<br />
<br />
== Cast (voices) ==<br />
* [[w:Paige O'Hara|Paige O'Hara]] – Belle<br />
* [[w:Rex Everhart|Rex Everhart]] – Maurice<br />
* [[w:Robby Benson|Robby Benson]] – The Beast/Prince Adam<br />
* [[w:Richard White (actor)|Richard White]] – Gaston<br />
* [[w:Jerry Orbach|Jerry Orbach]] – Lumiere<br />
* [[w:David Ogden Stiers|David Ogden Stiers]] – Narrator, Cogsworth<br />
* [[w:Angela Lansbury|Angela Lansbury]] – Mrs. Potts<br />
* [[w:Mary Kay Bergman|Mary Kay Bergman]] – Bimbette<br />
* [[w:Kath Soucie|Kath Soucie]] – Bimbette<br />
* [[w:Jesse Corti|Jesse Corti]] – Lefou<br />
* [[w:Bradley Pierce|Bradley Pierce]] – Chip<br />
* [[w:Kimmy Robertson|Kimmy Robertson]] – Featherduster<br />
* [[w:Hal Smith|Hal Smith]] – Philippe<br />
* [[w:Jack Angel|Jack Angel]] – Tom<br />
* [[w:Philip Proctor|Phil Proctor]] – Dick<br />
* [[w:Bill Farmer|Bill Farmer]] – Stanley<br />
* [[w:Patrick Pinney|Patrick Pinney]] – Walter<br />
<br />
== External links ==<br />
{{wikipedia|Beauty and the Beast (1991 film)}}<br />
* {{IMDb title|id=0101414|title=Beauty and the Beast}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:1991 American animated films]]<br />
[[Category:1990s American animated films]]<br />
[[Category:Traditionally animated films]]<br />
[[Category:American animated romance films]]<br />
[[Category:American children's animated musical films]]<br />
[[Category:American children's films]]<br />
[[Category:Films directed by Gary Trousdale]]<br />
[[Category:Films directed by Kirk Wise]]<br />
[[Category:Screenplays by Joe Ranft]]<br />
[[Category:United States National Film Registry films]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films about princesses]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films set in castles]]<br />
[[Category:Disney Princess films]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films about father–daughter relationships]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films about shapeshifting]]<br />
[[Category:American IMAX films]]</div>~2026-44937-18https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Shrek_2&diff=3990421Shrek 22026-08-18T12:23:53Z<p>~2026-44937-18: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{italic title}}<br />
[[File:Shrek 2.png|thumb|]]<br />
'''''[[w:Shrek 2|Shrek 2]]''''' is a [[w:2004 in film|2004]] [[w:animated film|animated film]] in which Princess Fiona's parents invite her and Shrek to dinner to celebrate her marriage, not knowing that the newlyweds are both ogres. It is a sequel to the [[Shrek|previous film]]. Produced by [[w:DreamWorks Animation|DreamWorks Animation]], streaming on [[w:Universal Pictures|Peacock]].<br />
:''Directed by [[w:Andrew Adamson|Andrew Adamson]], [[w:Kelly Asbury|Kelly Asbury]], and [[w:Conrad Vernon|Conrad Vernon]]. Written by [[w:Andrew Adamson|Andrew Adamson]], [[w:Joe Stillman|Joe Stillman]], [[w:J. David Stem|J. David Stem]], and [[w:David N. Weiss|David N. Weiss]].''<br />
{{center|'''Once Upon Another Time...'''([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}<br />
<br />
== Shrek ==<br />
* For five minutes. Could you not be yourself...'''FOR FIVE MINUTES?! '''''AHHHHH!!! ARE WE THERE YET?!?!'''''<br />
* Nice catch, Donkey. ''['''Puss''': Finally. Good use for your mouth.]''<br />
* A cute, button nose? Thick, wavy locks?? Taut, round buttocks?! I'm-I'm... ''['''Jill''': Gorgeous.]''<br />
*''[Banging the window, shouting for Fiona]'' Fiona! Fiona! Fiona! Fionaaaaa! ''['''Fairy Godmother''': Fiona? Fiona? Oh, shoot. I don't think they can us, pigeon.]''<br />
* But I love her. ''['''Fairy Godmother''': If you really love her, you'll let her go.]''<br />
* ''[from DVD menu, after pressing "New from DreamWorks Animation"]'' All right! Well, here we go!<br />
<br />
== Puss in Boots ==<br />
[[File:Puss in Boots, 2011, Australia-1.jpg|200px|thumb|Haha! Fear me if you dare!]]<br />
* Who dares enter my room?<br />
* You are told correct. But for this, I charge a great deal of money.<br />
* Hmm. You have engaged my valuable services. Your Majesty. Just tell me where i can find this ogre.<br />
* Ha-ha! Fear me if you dare!<br />
* Pray from mercy from Puss in Boots!<br />
* Finally! A good use for your mouth.<br />
* ''['''Guard''': Catnip.]'' That's, uh, not mine.<br />
* ''[from DVD menu, after pressing "Special Features"]'' Glad to be of assistance.<br />
<br />
== Fiona ==<br />
* Dear diary, Sleeping Beauty is having a slumber party tomorrow, but Dad says I can't go. He never lets me out after sunset. Dad says I'm going away for a while, must be like some finishing school or something. Mom says that when I'm old enough, my handsome Prince Charming will rescue me from my tower and bring me back to my family and, we'll all live happily ever after.<br />
* ''[from DVD menu, after pressing "Far Far Away Idol", burping]'' Excuse me!<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
:''[first lines]''<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': ''[his first words; narrating in his smoking, romantic, luscious, lustrous, regal, soothing and sexy voice]'' Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away, the King and Queen were blessed with a beautiful baby girl, and throughout the land, everyone was happy...until the sun went down, and they saw that their daughter was cursed with a frightful enchantment that took hold each and every night. Desperate, they sought the help of a fairy godmother who had them lock the young princess away in a tower, there to await the kiss of the handsome Prince Charming! ''[the scene shows a tall slightly muscular Prince Charming in a a cuirass and armor with a Red cape riding on his white horse]'' It was he who would chance the perilous journey through blistering cold and scorching desert, traveling for many days and nights, risking life and limb to reach the Dragon's Keep. ''[he rides through a forest, snowy mountains and barren desert for several days,arrives at the Dragon's Keep, an ominous castle surrounded by a moat of lava, but sees that the wooden bridge leading across the lava was destroyed by the Dragon. Uses his bow to shoot a roped arrow to a wooden post on the other side and uses it as a zipline. Looks up at a tower that rises above the rest of the castle, a light shining from its window. He enters the Dragon's Keep]'' For he was ''the'' bravest, ''[takes off his helmet showing his drop-dead gorgeous pretty slim face, bewitching blue eyes, high cheekbones, fair skin, pronounced smashing jawline and strong chin, thick exquisite stunning blonde eyebrows, elegant graceful slender pointy nose and his lips covered in cherry flavored glitter lip gloss forming an alluring bonny winsome ravishing pulchritudinous irresistible and heavenly smile]'' and most handsome... ''[unties his hairnet and shakes in slow motion his Just washed and clean with shampoo and conditioner, beautiful, majestic, glossy, gorgeous, shiny, silky, lustrous, glorious, flowing, marvelous, wavy, smooth, soft and ricocheting neck length blonde hair]'' ...In all the land. And it was destiny that his kiss ''[sprays perfume in his mouth to have a good breath]'' would break the dreaded curse. He alone would climb to the highest room of the tallest tower to the princess's chambers, cross the room to her sleeping silhouette, pull back the gossamer curtains to find her... ''[He continues through the abandoned castle and reaches the princess' tower. enters the princess' room and makes his way to her bed where a figure lays down, obscured by the bed's curtains, pulls the curtain and gasps; the figure is no princess--it's Big Bad Wolf.]'' <br />
:'''Big Bad Wolf''': What? <br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Princess... Fiona?<br />
:'''Big Bad Wolf''': No!<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Oh, thank heavens. Where is she?<br />
:'''Big Bad Wolf''': She's on her honeymoon. <br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Honeymoon? With whom?!<br />
<br />
----<br />
:'''Shrek''': It's so good to be home! Just you and me and...<br />
:'''Donkey''': Two can be as bad as one...<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Shrek! Fiona! Aren't you two a sight for sore eyes! Give us a hug, Shrek, you old love machine. And look at you, Mrs. Shrek. How 'bout a side of sugar for the steed?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey, what are you doing here?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, I was just taking care of your love nest for you!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, you mean like sorting the mail and watering the plants?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Yeah, and feeding the fish!<br />
:'''Shrek''': I don't have any fish.<br />
:'''Donkey''': You do now. I call that one Shrek and the other Fiona. That Shrek is a rascally devil. Get your... ''[mumbling to the "fish"]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, will you look at the time? I guess you'd better be going.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Don't you wanna tell me all about your trip? Or how about a game of Parcheesi?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Actually, Donkey, shouldn't you be getting home to Dragon?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, yeah, that. I don't know. She's been all moody and stuff lately. So I thought I'd move back in with you guys!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Well, you know, we're always happy to see you, Donkey. <br />
:'''Shrek''': But Fiona and I are married now. We need a little time, you know, to be together. Just with each other. Alone.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Say no more, say no more. You don't have to worry about a thing. I will always be here to make sure nobody bothers you.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Yes, roomie?<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''You're'' bothering ''me.''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, okay, all right. Cool. Me and Pinocchio were just gonna try to catch a tournament anyway, so maybe I'll see y'all on Sunday for a barbecue or something. ''[heads outside]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': He'll be fine. Now where were we? ''[realizes]'' Oh, I think I remember. ''[leans in to kiss Fiona, but suddenly sees Donkey in front of him]'' Donkey!<br />
:'''Donkey''': I know, I know! Alone! I'm going! I'm going! Hey, what do you want me to tell those other guys?<br />
<br />
----<br />
:'''Messenger''': ''[swats Reggie with the scroll]'' Enough, Reggie. ''[unfolds the scroll]'' "Dearest, Princess Fiona. You are hereby summoned to the Kingdom of Far, Far Away for a royal ball in celebration of your marriage at which time the King will bestow his royal blessing upon you ''[looks up to see Shrek]'' and your... uh... Prince Charming. Love, the King and Queen of Far, Far Away. ''[closes the scroll]'' aka, Mom and Dad."<br />
:'''Fiona''': Mom and Dad?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Prince Charming?<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[heads outside]'' Royal ball?! Can I come?<br />
:'''Shrek''': We're not going.<br />
:'''Fiona and Donkey''': ''[shocked]'' What?<br />
:'''Shrek''': I mean, don't you think they might be a bit... shocked to see you like this?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Well, they might be a bit surprised. But they're my parents, Shrek. They love me. And don't worry, they're gonna love you, too.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Yeah, right. Somehow, I don't think I'll be welcome at the country club.<br />
:'''Fiona''': Will you stop it? They're not like that.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Then how do you explain Sergeant Pompous and the Fancy Pants Club Band?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Oh, come on! You could at least give them a chance!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, to do what, sharpen their pitchforks?<br />
:'''Fiona''': No, they just want to give you their blessing.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, great. Now I need their blessing?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Well, if you wanna be a part of this family, yes!<br />
:'''Shrek''': And ''who'' says I wanna be a part of this family?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Um, ''you'' did, when you married ''me''!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Well, there's some fine print for you!<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[sighs exasperatedly]'' So, that's it? You won't come?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Trust me, it's a bad idea. We are not going, and ''that's final!''<br />
----<br />
:''[the onion carriage approaches slowly beside the sign "700 Miles to Far, Far Away" on it, beside a line up of trees and humongous mountains]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Shrek''': No.<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage surrounded by pouring rain and thunder on a stone-shaped mountain]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Not yet.<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage on a snowy mountain surrounded by a large line up of falling snow, the sign reads "200 Miles to Far, Far Away" also]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[sing-song]'' Okay, are we there yet?<br />
:'''Fiona''': No.<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage surrounded by leafless trees in the snow]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Shrek''': No!<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage next to stone-shaped walls made with baron rock]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are; we there, yet?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Yes.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Really?<br />
:'''Shrek''': No!<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage on a bridge next to a giant waterfall]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Fiona''': No!<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage passing the sign reading "100 Miles to Far, Far Away" in front of a line up of wooden oak trees]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Shrek''': No, we're not!<br />
:''[scene dissolves]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': ARE WE THERE YET?<br />
:'''Shrek/Fiona''': <big>'''NO!!!!'''</big><br />
:''[split second]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there y...<br />
:'''Shrek''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Hey, that's no...<br />
:'''Shrek''': That's not funny.<br />
:'''Donkey''': That's...<br />
:'''Shrek''': That's immature!<br />
----<br />
:''[Shrek gulps at the dinner table. To his sides sits Lillian and Fiona, and across from him sits Harold. Lillian looks around nervously and Harold angrily stares at Shrek. Shrek, unsure of how to eat the food on his plate properly, plops it in his mouth, and grins with the food still stuck in his teeth. Lillian cringes. Fiona tries to sip her drink courteously]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[lets out a loud belch that interrupts a conversation]'' Oh! Excuse me.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Better out than in, I always say. Eh, Fiona? ''[he and Fiona laughed]'' That's good enough... '' [they stopped laughing after neither Harold nor Lillian join in]'' I guess not.<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[from another room]'' What do you mean, "not on the list"? Don't tell me you don't know who I am. ''[bursts into the scene from the kitchen]'' Hey! What's happening, everybody? Thanks for waiting. You know I had the hardest time finding this place. ''[sits next to Harold]''<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[angrily]'' No, no! Bad Donkey! Bad, down!<br />
:'''Fiona''': No, no, no, Dad! Dad! It's all right! It's all right. He’s with us. He helped rescue me from the dragon.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Yup, that's me: the noble steed. ''[to the server]'' Hey, waiter! How ‘bout a bowl for the steed?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, boy. ''[slurps from the bowl]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': Um, Shrek?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Yeah? Oh, sorry! Great soup, Mrs Q. Mmm!<br />
:'''Fiona''': No, no, no. Darling. ''[demonstrates that the bowl he ate from is for washing his hands]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh. ''[chuckles]''<br />
:'''Lillian''': ''[as the rest does the same]'' So, Fiona, tell us about where you live?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Well, Shrek owns his own land. ''[to Shrek]'' Don't you, honey?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, yes! It's in an enchanted forest abundant in squirrels and...cute little duckies and--<br />
:'''Donkey''': What?! ''[laughs]'' I know you ain't talkin' about the swamp!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[clenches through his teeth]'' Donkey.<br />
:'''Harold''': An ogre from a swamp. Oh! How original. ''[Donkey dunks his mouth in his bowl and drinks]''<br />
:'''Lillian''': Well, I suppose that would be a fine place to raise the children...<br />
:''[Harold starts choking on his drink and Shrek accidentally swallows his spoon. They both cough, choke and splutter until Shrek spits out his spoon onto the table.]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[chuckles]'' It's a bit early to be thinking about that, isn't it?<br />
:'''Harold''': Indeed. I just started eating.<br />
:'''Lillian''': Harold!<br />
:'''Shrek''': What's that supposed to mean?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Dad, it's great, okay?<br />
:'''Harold''': Well, for his type, yes.<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[offended]'' ''My'' type?!<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[starts to leave, nervously]'' Uh, I gotta go to the bathroom.<br />
:'''The Chef''': ''[he and a host of servers enter the room with dinner, including a whole turkey, lobster, and a roast pig.]'' Dinner is-a served!<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[sits back down]'' Never mind, I can hold it. ''[The servers set the food on the table.]''<br />
:'''The Chef''': Bon appetit!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, Mexican food! My favorite!<br />
:'''Lillian''': Well, let's just not sit here with our tummies rumblin', everybody dig in.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Don't mind if I do, Lillian!<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[pulls the lobster towards himself before Donkey can take a bite out of it]'' So, I suppose any grandchildren I could expect from you would be--<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[pulls the turkey towards him]'' Ogres? ''Yes.''<br />
:'''Lillian''': Not that there's anything wrong with that. Right, Harold?<br />
:'''Harold''': Oh, no! No! Of course, not! That is, assuming you don't ''[ferociously and savagely stabs the knife into the lobster]'' ''EAT'' your own ''[ferociously and savagely slices open the lobster]'' ''YOUNG!''<br />
:'''Fiona''': Dad!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, no, we usually prefer the ones who've been... ''[ferociously and savagely rips off both drumsticks from the turkey]'' ''LOCKED'' away in a tower! ''[ferociously and savagely takes a bite out of one drumstick in his left hand]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[begging]'' Shrek, please!<br />
:'''Harold''': I only did that because I '''''love''''' her.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, aye! Daycare or dragon-guarded castle?! ''[ferociously and savagely pulls out a wish bone from the turkey]''<br />
:'''Harold''': You wouldn't understand! You're not her father!<br />
:''[Fiona sighs in exasperation and facepalms herself as Shrek and Harold continue to rip apart their food in ferocity and savagery, sending bits and pieces flying across the table.]''<br />
:'''Lillian''': It's so nice to have the family together for dinner. ''[Shrek and Harold stand up from their seats in rage and glare at each other, then ferociously and savagely tug over the roast pig in the middle of the table, accidentally sending it flying upwards]'' Harold!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Shrek!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Fiona?!<br />
:'''Harold''': Fiona!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Mom!<br />
:'''Lillian''': Harold!<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[happily]'' Donkey!<br />
:''[The roast pig lands on the table in front of Donkey and Lillian with a thud; Fiona angrily stands up and glares at Harold and Shrek, then runs out of the room, causing Harold to become enraged and Shrek to sigh.]''<br />
----<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[after popping the bubble, close encountering Fiona]'' My name is Fairy Godmother.<br />
:'''Fiona''': I have a fairy godmother!<br />
----<br />
:'''Shrek''': Fiona? Fiona?! ''[barges into the room along with Donkey. Fairy Godmother gasps at Shrek]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, you got a puppy?! All I got in my room was shampoo.<br />
:'''Fiona''': Oh, um, Fairy Godmother, furniture, I'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[confused]'' Your husband? What did you say? When did this happen?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Shrek is the one ''who'' rescued me.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[angrily]'' But that can't be right!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[wearily]'' Oh, great! More relatives!<br />
:'''Fiona''': She's just trying to help.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Good! She can help us pack. Get your coat, dear. We're leaving.<br />
:'''Fiona''': What?!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Leaving? I don't wanna leave.<br />
:'''Fiona''': When did you decide this?<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[as he is packing]'' Shortly after arrivin'.<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[remorsefully]'' Look, I'm sorry...<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': No, no, no, that's okay. I need to go anyway. But remember, dear, if you should ever need me, ''[whips out a "Happiness" business card]'' happiness is just a teardrop away.<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[snatches the "Happiness" card from Fairy Godmother; sarcastically]'' Thanks, but we've got ''all'' the happiness we need. Happy, happy, happy.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': So I see. ''[laughs in a not so good way]'' Let's go, Kyle. ''[Kyle whips the horses on the carriage and he and the Fairy Godmother leaves]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[sarcastically]'' Very nice, Shrek.<br />
:'''Shrek''': What? I told you that comin' here was a bad idea.<br />
:'''Fiona''': You could have at least tried to get along with my father.<br />
:'''Shrek''': You know, somehow, I don't think I was going to get daddy's blessing, even if I did want it.<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[as a bichon Frise starts barking]'' Well, do you think it might be nice if somebody asked me what I wanted?!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Sure. Do you want me to pack for you?!<br />
:'''Fiona''': You're unbelievable! You're behavin' like a... ''[hesitates and sighs]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Go on, say it!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Like an ''OGRE!''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Well, here's a newsflash for you, whether your parents like it or not, '''''I AM AN OGRE.''''' ''[the puppy barks even louder; Shrek furiously and roars at it, scares the puppy, who covers its face in fear]'' And guess what, Princess? That's '''''NOT''''' about to change.<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[sadly walks to the door]'' I've made changes for you, Shrek. Think about that. ''[leaves]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[deadpan]'' That's real smooth, Shrek. ''[imitating Shrek]'' ''I'M AN OGRE! UARGH!''<br />
:''[Shrek walks to the door and hears Fiona sob from outside of the bedroom and sighs in guilt, realizing what he has done to hurt her feelings. The camera pans northeast to Harold and Lillian's room.]''<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[after hearing Shrek and Fiona's argument]'' I knew this would happen!<br />
:'''Lillian''': You should. You started it.<br />
:'''Harold''': I can hardly believe that, Lillian. I mean, really, he's the ogre, not me.<br />
:'''Lillian''': I think, Harold, you're taking this a little too personally. ''This'' is Fiona's choice.<br />
:'''Harold''': Yes, but she was supposed to choose the prince ''we'' picked out for her! I mean, you expect me to give my blessings to this... this... thing?<br />
:'''Lillian''': Fiona does, and she'll never forgive you if you don't. I don't want to lose our daughter again, Harold. ''[Harold sighs]'' Oh, you act as if love is totally predictable. Don't you remember when we were young and, oh, we used to walk down by the lily pond, and they were in bloom.<br />
:'''Harold''': Our first kiss. IT'S NOT THE SAME! I don't think you realize that our daughter has married a MONSTER!<br />
:'''Lillian''': Oh, stop being such a drama king.<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[as Fairy Godmother's carriage approaches]'' Fine, fine! Pretend that there's nothing wrong! La-di-da, di-da, di-da! It's all wonderful! I like to know how could it get any worse!<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[opens the door]'' Hello, Harold.<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[scared]'' Aaah!<br />
:'''Lillian''': What happened?<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[hesitantly]'' Uh, nothing! Nothing, dear! Just the old crusade wound playing up a bit! ''[chuckles]'' I’ll just stretch it out here for a while. ''[closes the balcony door]''<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': You better get in. We need to talk.<br />
:'''Harold''': Actually, Fairy Godmother, just off to bed. ''[yawns]'' Already taken my pills, and they tend to make me a bit drowsy. So, um how about... we make this a quick visit. What? ''[bumps into two of her henchmen, who then get him in the carriage]'' Oh, hello.<br />
----<br />
:'''Harold''': So, what's new?<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[to Harold]'' You remember my son, Prince Charming? ''[shows him sitting next to her]''<br />
:'''Harold''': Charming! Is that you? My gosh, it's been years! When, uh... When did you get back?<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Oh, about five minutes ago, actually. ''[enraged]'' After I endured blistering winds, scorching desert, I climbed to the highest room of the tallest tower--<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[cuts him off]'' Tut, tut, tut. Mummy can handle this. ''[to King Harold, using the same tone he used earlier]'' He endures blistering winds and scorching desert! He climbs to the highest bloody room of the tallest bloody tower, and what does he find? Some gender-confused wolf telling him that ''his'' princess... '''''is already married!'''''<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[stammers]'' I mean, it wasn't my fault; He didn't get there in time.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': '''''STOP THE CAR!''' [the carriage screeches to a stop]'' Harold... ''[two of her henchmen crack their knuckles as the window rolls down]'' You forced me to do something I '''''really''''' don't want to do.<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[gasps]'' Where are we?<br />
:''[It is revealed that the carriage has pulled up at a fast-food restaurant drive-thru.]''<br />
:'''Fast-food Clerk''': ''[cheerfully]'' Well, hi there! Welcome to Friar's Fat Boy. May I take your order?<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': My diet is ruined! I hope you're happy. ''[to the fast-food clerk]'' Uh, okay. Two renaissance wraps, no mayo... chili rings...<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': I'll have the medieval meal.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': One medieval meal and, Harold. Curly fries?<br />
:'''Harold''': Oh no. No, thank you.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Sourdough soft taco, then? What do you want?<br />
:'''Harold''': No, really. I'm fine.<br />
:'''Fast-food Clerk''': ''[gives Fairy Godmother their meals]'' Your order, Fairy Godmother. ''[also gives her a free double-headed toy axe]'' And ''this'' comes with the medieval meal.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[gives the axe to Charming]'' Here you are, dear. ''[the carriage flies away]'' You see, we made a deal, Harold, and I assume you don't want me to go back on my part.<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[sighs deeply]'' Indeed not.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': So, Fiona and Charming ''will be together''.<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[doubtfully]'' Yes.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Oh, believe me, Harold. It's what's best, not only for your daughter.''[She takes a bite of her wrap taco and talks with her mouth full]'' But for your kingdom.<br />
:''[The carriage pulls up back at the castle and one of her henchmen shoves Harold out]''<br />
:'''Harold''': Well, what am ''I'' supposed to do about it?<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[tosses the double-headed toy axe into his hands]'' Use your imagination. ''[flies off]''<br />
----<br />
:'''Harold''': Uh, no. You must be mistaking me for someone else. Uh, excuse me. I'm looking for the Ugly Stepsister. ''[said Ugly Stepsister reveals herself]'' Ah. There you are. Right. You see, I need to have someone taken care of.<br />
:'''Ugly Stepsister''': Who's the guy?<br />
:'''Harold''': Um, he's not a guy, per se, um, he's ''[whispers]'' an ''ogre''.<br />
:''[The entire bar gasp at Harold saying "ogre"; the piano stops playing.]''<br />
:'''Ugly Stepsister''': Hey, buddy, let me clue you in. There's only one fellow who can handle a job like that, and, frankly... he don't like to be ''disturbed''.<br />
:'''Harold''': Where could I find him? ''[heads to the backroom and knocks, slowly opens the door]'' Uh, hello? ''[sees a pair of black boots beside the shining window]''<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[He opens his eyes]'' Who dares enter my room?<br />
:'''Harold''': Sorry. I hope I'm not interrupting anything. But I was told that you are the one to handle an ogre... problem.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': You are told correct. ''[scoffs]'' But for this, I charge a great deal of money.<br />
:'''Harold''': Would this be enough? ''[places a bag of coins on the table]''<br />
:''[Puss in Boots stands up and raises his sword to slice off the string, causing gold coins to spill out of the sack.]''<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Hmm. You have engaged my valuable services. ''[grins]'' Your Majesty. Just tell me: Where I can find this ogre?<br />
----<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[to Shrek, after reading Fiona's diary]'' Oh, sorry; I hope I'm not interrupting anything.<br />
:'''Shrek''': No, no; I was, uh...reading a scary book.<br />
----<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[It is an orange cat wearing black hat and cape]'' Ha-ha. Fear me, if you dare. ''[hisses]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, look, a little cat.<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[sees the sword in Puss' paws]'' Look out, Shrek! He got a piece!<br />
:'''Shrek''': It's a cat, Donkey. Come here little, kitty, kitty, kitty. Come on. Kitty. ''[Puss screeches and attacks Shrek and he screams]'' <br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[gasps in shock]'' Hold on, Shrek!<br />
:'''Shrek''': GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! OH, GOD!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Shrek, hold still! ''[kicks the Shrek's bottom and moans]'' Did I miss?<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[painfully]'' No, you got him.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[after he attacks Shrek]'' Now ye ogre! Pray for mercy from... ''[slashes "P" on the tree]'' Puss... in Boots!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[groans]'' I'll kill that cat!<br />
:'''Donkey''': No!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Ah-ha-ha-ha! ''[drops the sword, then starts heaves for a second, confusing Shrek and Donkey; spits out the hairball and coughs]'' Phew. ''[chuckles]'' Hairball.<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[disgusted]'' Oh, that is nasty!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[picks up Puss by the back of the neck]'' What do you reckon we should do with him?<br />
:'''Donkey''': I say we take the sword and neuter him right here; Give him the Bob Barker treatment!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[frightened]'' Oh, no! Por favor! Please! I implore you! It was nothing personal, Señor! I was doing it only for my family. My mother, she is sick. And my father lives off the garbage! The king offered me much in gold and I have a litter of brothers--<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[covers Puss' mouth with his finger]'' Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Fiona's father paid you to do this?<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': The rich king? Sí. ''[Shrek drops him to the ground, who screeches]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[sighs]'' Well, so much for Dad's royal blessing.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, come on, Shrek, don't feel bad. Almost everybody that meets you wants to kill you.<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[sits on the rock]'' Gee, thanks. ''[looks down at the river reflection and sighs]'' Maybe Fiona would have been better off if I were some sort of Prince Charming.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Sí, that's what the king said. ''[Donkey glares angrily]'' Oh, uh...sorry. I thought that question was directed at me.<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[walks over to Shrek]'' Shrek, Fiona knows you'd do anything for her.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Well, it's not like I wouldn't change if I could. I just...I just wish I could make her happy. ''[pauses out; to Donkey]'' Hold the phone... ''[pulls out Fairy Godmother's business card]'' "Happiness." ''[flips it over]'' "A tear drop away." Donkey, think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, man, where do I begin? Well first there was the time that old farmer tried to sell me for some magic beans. I ain't never got over that. Then this fool went off and had a party and he had the guests trying to pin the tail on me. Then they got all drunk and start beatin' me with a stick going, "Piñata! Piñata!" What is a piñata, anyway?!<br />
:'''Shrek''': No, Donkey, I need you to cry!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Yeah, well don't go projecting on me! I know you're feelin' bad, but you gotta let your own- ''[Puss angrily stomps on his hoof]'' '''''OW!!!!!!!!!''''' ''[tearfully]'' You little hairy litter-licking sack of... ''[Donkey's tears shed and Shrek lets it drop onto the card, conjuring a bubble with Fairy Godmother in it]''<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''["Voice Message" Bubble forms after landing]'' What? Is it on? Is it on? ''[clears her throat]'' This is Fairy Godmother. I'm either away from my desk or with a client, but if you come by the office, we'll be glad to give you a personal appointment. Have a Happy Ever After! ''[the bubble pops]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Ohhh.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Are you up for a little quest, Donkey?<br />
:'''Donkey''': That's more like it! Shrek and Donkey, on another whirlwind adventure! ''[singing]'' Ain't no stoppin' us now! Whoo! We're on the move!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Stop, ogre! ''[bows to Shrek]'' I have misjudged you.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Join the club. We've got jackets.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': On my honor, I am obliged to accompany you until I have saved your life as you have spared me mine.<br />
:'''Donkey''': I'm sorry, the position of annoying talking animal has already been taken. Let's go, Shrek! ''[sees Shrek walking to Puss]'' Shrek? ''[slightly pauses; Shrek looks down at Puss, who gives him a cute, helpless look; Shrek smiles]'' Shrek!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Aw, come on, Donkey. Look at him; in his wee little boots. You know, how many cats can wear boots? Honestly. Aw, let's keep him!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Say what?! ''[Puss purrs and Shrek marvels at his cuteness; groans in frustration]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Aw, listen. He's purring!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, so now it's cute!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Aw, come on, Donkey. Lighten up.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Lighten up?! Oh, I should lighten up?! Look who's telling who to lighten up!<br />
----<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[close encountering a humongous factory with colored smoke]'' Oh, no; that's the old Keebler's place! Let's just back away slowly.<br />
----<br />
:''[Shrek, Donkey, and Puss arrive at the Fairy Godmother's potion factory]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Hi. I'm here to see...<br />
:'''Jerome''': The Fairy Godmother. I'm sorry, she is not in.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[from the gramophone intercom]'' Jerome! Coffee and a monte Christo, now.<br />
:'''Jerome''': ''[sighs]'' Yes, Fairy Godmother. Right away. ''[to Shrek]'' Look, she's not seeing any client today, okay?<br />
:'''Shrek''': That's okay, buddy. We're from the union.<br />
:'''Jerome''': The union?<br />
:'''Shrek''': We represent the workers in all magical industries both evil and benign.<br />
:'''Jerome''': Oh, oh, right.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Are you feeling at all degraded or oppressed?<br />
:'''Jerome''': Uh... ''[turns the gramophone intercom away from him]'' A little. W-We don't even have dental.<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[whispers to Donkey]'' They don't even have dental. ''[to Jerome]'' Okay, we're just gonna have a look around. Oh, by the way, I think it would better if the Fairy Godmother didn't know we were here. Know what I'm saying? Huh?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Hmm?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Huh?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Huh? Huh?! '''''HUH?!?!'''''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Stop it!<br />
:'''Jerome''': Of course. Go right in.<br />
----<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Ah, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh... "Princess"! ''Cinderella''. Here we are: "Lived happily ever after." Oh. ''[fake chuckles]'' No ogres. Let's see. ''Snow White''. "A handsome prince." Ah, no ogres. ''[[Sleeping Beauty (1959 film)|Sleeping Beauty]]''. Oh, no ogres. ''[[Hansel and Gretel (2002 film)|Hansel and Gretel]]''. No. ''[[Thumbelina (1994 film)|Thumbelina]]''. No! ''The Golden Bird'', ''[[The Little Mermaid (1989 film)|The Little Mermaid]]'', ''[[Pretty Woman]]''. No, no, no, no, NO! You see, ogres don't live happily ever after.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Alright, look, lady!<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Don't you point those dirty green sausages at me! ''[pushes his finger out of her face]''<br />
:'''Worker''': Your Monte Christo and coffee. Oh! Sorry.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Ah, that's okay. We were just leaving. Very sorry to have wasted your time, Miss Godmother.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Just... go.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Come on, guys. ''[leaves]''<br />
----<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, yeah, you're right. I'm sure nice BM is the perfect solution for marital problems!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Elfa Seltzer.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Uh-uh.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Hex Lax. <br />
:'''Shrek''': No. Try "handsome".<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Sorry, no handsome. ''[finds a blue potion bottle labeled; "Happily Ever After" in the restricted shelf]'' Hey, how about Happily Ever After?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Well, what does it do? <br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': It says "Beauty Divine".<br />
:'''Donkey''': In some creatures, donkeys are revered as the wisest of all creatures. Especially us talking ones.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey! Then we'll have to. We got company. <br />
:'''Donkey''': Will you get on with this.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Hurry! ''[Puss pulls the blue potion, but drops it]'' Nice catch, Donkey.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Finally! A good use for your mouth. ''[More colors of potions drop, the siren sounds, and the door begins to close.]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Come on!<br />
----<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': What?! Where is he, mum? ''[raises his sword due to the incident of Fairy Godmother's potion factory]'' I shall rend their heads from their shoulders! I will smite them where he stabs. He will rue the very day HE STOLE MY KINGDOM FROM ME!<br />
----<br />
:''[After escaping Fairy Godmother's potion factory]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[reading the potion bottle]'' "Happily Ever After Potion. Maximum strength. "For you and your true love. If one of you drinks this, you both will be fine. Happiness, comfort and beauty divine."<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[confused]'' You both will be fine?<br />
:'''Shrek''': I guess it means it'll affect Fiona too. ''[opens the potion bottle]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Hey, man, this don't feel right. My donkey senses are tingling all over. So why don't you just drop that jug o' voodoo, and let's get out of here.<br />
:'''Shrek''': It says, "beauty divine". How bad can it be? ''[sniffs the potion and sneezes]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': A-ha! See, You're allergic to that stuff. You'll have a reaction. And if you think that I'll be smearing Vapor Rub all over your chest, think again!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Boss, just in case there is something wrong with the potion... allow me to take the first sip. It would be an honor to lay my life on the line for you.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, no, no. I don't think so. If there'll be any animal testing, I'll do it. That’s the best friend's job. Now give me that bottle. ''[snatches the potion bottle from Shrek's hands with his mouth and starts drinking it, but Shrek snatches it back from Donkey]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': How do you feel?<br />
:'''Donkey''': I don't ''feel'' any different. Do I look any different?<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': You still look like an ass to me.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Maybe it doesn't work on donkeys. Well, here's to us, Fiona.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Shrek? You drink that, there's no going back.<br />
:'''Shrek''': I know.<br />
:'''Donkey''': No more wallowing in the mud?<br />
:'''Shrek''': I know.<br />
:'''Donkey''': No more itchy butt crack?<br />
:'''Shrek''': I know!<br />
:'''Donkey''': But you love being an ogre!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''I know!'' ''[sighs]'' But I love Fiona more. ''[starts chugging the potion]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Shrek, no! Wait! ''[Shrek swallows the potion, then feels his stomach gurglin'. Donkey and Puss hides behind the rock, then Shrek farts]'' Got to be... Shrek, I think you grabbed the "Farty Ever After" potion.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Maybe it's a dud.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Or maybe Fiona and I were never meant to be.<br />
:''[Dark storm clouds appear above Shrek, Donkey and Puss.]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Uh-oh. What did I tell you? I feel something coming on. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die! ''[rain starts pouring, soaking the trio and getting them wet]'' Oh, sweet sister, mother of mercy! '''I'm melting!''' '''''I'M MELTING!!'''''<br />
:'''Shrek''': It's just the rain, Donkey.<br />
:''[Donkey chuckles as they head to a barn for some shelter. The blue ooze from Shrek's sneeze reaction on the mushroom transforms into a flower rose.]''<br />
----<br />
:''[After Shrek, Donkey and Puss arrived at the barn for shelter for the night]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Shrek, don't worry. Things seem bad because it's dark and rainy and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you. ''[Puss hisses at him]'' It'll be better in the morning. You'll see. ''[sings, then gets dizzy]'' The sun'll come out... Tomorrow... Bet your bottom...<br />
:'''Shrek''': Bet my bottom?<br />
:'''Donkey''': I'm comin', Elizabeth! ''[faints]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey? A-Are you all right?<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Hey, boss. Let's shave him.<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[gets dizzy]'' D-Donkey...? ''[groans and faints and land on Puss’ tail as he yowls off-screen]''<br />
----<br />
:''[Later this morning, the Jill and maidens woke up]''<br />
:'''Jill''': Good morning, sleepyhead.<br />
:'''Maidans''': Good morning! We lover your kitty.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, my head.<br />
:'''Jill''': Here. I fetched you a pail of water.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Thanks. ''[sees his human hands, picks up the wooden bucket; sees a human version of himself, drops the bucket and spills water]'' Oh. ''[checks his skin to make sure]'' A cute, button nose? Thick, wavy locks? Thick, round buttocks? I must be...<br />
----<br />
:'''Knight''': Halt!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Tell Princess Fiona her husband Sir Shrek is here to see you!<br />
:''[A white bird flies past one of the windows of the Far, Far Away Castle and goes to Fiona's room. Fiona looks at the reflection, realizing she is a human again, and screams.]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Fiona!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Shrek?<br />
----<br />
:''[the Fairy Godmother raises her wand and doors close, the Chest of Drawers blocks Shrek's way]''<br />
:'''Talking Chest Drawer''': You wanna dance, pretty boy?<br />
----<br />
:'''Doris''': There you go, boys.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Just leave the bottle, Doris.<br />
:'''Doris''': Hey, why the long face?<br />
:'''Shrek''': It was all just a stupid mistake. I never should have rescued her from that tower in the first place.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': I hate Mondays.<br />
:'''Donkey''': I can't believe you're just gonna walk away from the best thing that happened to you.<br />
:'''Shrek''': What choice do I have? She loves that pretty boy, Prince Charming.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Aw, come on, Shrek. Is he really that good-looking?<br />
:'''Doris''': Are you kidding? He's gorgeous! He has a face that looks like it was carved by angels.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Oh, he sounds dreamy.<br />
:'''Shrek''': You know, shockingly, this isn't making me feel any better. ''[sighs]'' Look, guys, it's for the best. Mom and Dad approve, and Fiona gets the man she's always dreamed of. Everybody wins.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Except you. I don't get it, Shrek. You love Fiona.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Aye. And that's why I have to let her go.<br />
:'''Harold''': Um, excuse me. Is she here?<br />
:'''Doris''': She's, uh, in the back.<br />
:'''Harold''': Oh, hello again!<br />
----<br />
:'''Harold''': Fairy Godmother. Charming.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Ugh, you'd better have a good reason for dragging us down here, Harold.<br />
:'''Harold''': Well, I'm afraid Fiona isn't really... warming up to Prince Charming.<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Um, FYI, not my fault.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': No, no, of course it's not, dear.<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': I mean, how charming can I be when I have to pretend that I'm that dreadful ogre?<br />
:'''Harold''': No, no, it's nobody's fault. Perhaps it's best if we just call the whole thing off, okay?<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother and Prince Charming''': ''[in unison; shocked]'' What?!<br />
:'''Harold''': I mean, you can't force someone to fall in love!<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Oh, I beg to differ. I do it all the time. ''[pulls out the Love Potion 9 vial and hands it to Harold, and he takes it]'' Have Fiona drink this and she'll fall in love with the first man she kisses, which will be Charming.<br />
:'''Harold''': Umm, no.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': What did you say?<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[stutters]'' I...I...I can't. I...I won't do it.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Oh, yes, you will. If you remember, I helped you with your happily ever after. And I can '''''take''''' it away just as easily. ''[sticks her wand in his face]'' Is that what you want? Is it?<br />
:'''Harold''': No.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[puts down her wand]'' Good boy. Now, we have to go. I need to do Charming's hair before the ball. He's hopeless. Y'know he's all high in the front, he can never get to the back. You always need someone to do the back of your hair.<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Oh. Thank you, mother.<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[from outside the window; shocked]'' MOTHER?! ''[Fairy Godmother, Charming and Harold turn their heads fast to see Shrek, Donkey and Puss outside the window, hearing everything]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Um, Mary! A talking horse!<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[enraged]'' The ogre! ''[Shrek, Donkey, and Puss ride away from the Poison Apple; flies after them, telling the knights to get them; furious] '''STOP THEM! THIEVES! BANDITS! STOP THEM!'''''<br />
----<br />
:'''Magic Mirror''': We'll be right back for more ''Far, Far Away Ball'' after these messages.<br />
:'''Gingy''': I hate these ball shows. They bore me to tears! Flip over to Wheel of Torture!<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': I'm not flipping anywhere; sir, 'til I see Shrek and Fiona!<br />
----<br />
:'''Harold''': Darling? Ah, I thought I might find you here. How about a nice hot cup of tea before the ball?<br />
:'''Fiona''': I'm not going.<br />
:'''Harold''': But the whole kingdom's turned out to celebrate your marriage.<br />
:'''Fiona''': There's just one problem: That’s not my husband.''[sees Prince Charming]'' I mean, look at him!<br />
:'''Harold''': Yes, he is a bit different, but people change for the ones they love you’d be surprised how much I change for your mother change.<br />
:'''Fiona''': "Change"? ''[about Prince Charming]'' He's completely lost his mind.<br />
:'''Harold''': Honey, why not come down to the ball and give him another chance? I mean, you might find you like this new Shrek.<br />
:'''Fiona''': But it's the ''old'' one I fell in love with, dad!<br />
:'''Harold''': Uh, honey, that’s mine. Decaf. Otherwise, I'm up all night.<br />
:'''Fiona''': Thanks.<br />
----<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[screaming]'' I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE! YOU CAN'T LOCK US LIKE THIS! LET ME GO! WHAT ABOUT MY MIRANDA RIGHTS?! You're supposed to say, "You have the right to remain silent." '''NOBODY SAID I HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!'''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey, you ''have'' the right to remain silent. What you lack is the capacity.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[camera shows just him]'' I must hold on before I, too, go totally mad.<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': Shrek? Donkey?<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[looks up to see fairy tale creatures above him]'' Too late.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Gingy, Pinocchio, get us out of here!<br />
----<br />
:'''Shrek''': Quick, tell a lie!<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': What should I say?<br />
:'''Gingy''': Anything, but quick!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Say something crazy, like, "I'm wearing ladies underwear!"<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': I'm wearing ladies underwear.<br />
:''[But nothing happens; he is telling the truth]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Are you?<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': I most certainly am not! ''[his nose extends]''<br />
:'''Mini Donkey''': It looks like you most certainly am are!<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': I am not! ''[his nose extends more]''<br />
:'''Puss''': What kind?<br />
:'''Gingy''': It's a thong! ''[pulls at his pink thong and lets it slap back]''<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': Ow! They're briefs!<br />
:'''Gingy''': ''[takes the key and runs across Pinocchio's nose as it continues to extend with each denial]'' Are not!<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': Are too!<br />
:'''Gingy''' Are not!<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': Are too!<br />
:'''Gingy''': ''[reaches Shrek and uses the key to free Shrek, Donkey, and Puss]'' Alright, here we go. Hang tight.<br />
:''[Shrek lands his feet on the cell floor, followed by Puss.]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Wait, wait, wait! Ow! Ow! Hey, hey, hey! ''[lands on his back on the cell floor]'' Ow! ''[Shrek looks at the Far Far Away palace from outside the window]''<br />
:'''Blind Mouse''': ''[muffled; to Puss]'' Excuse me?!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[hears a muffled voice]'' What? ''[sees the mouse's tail sticking out from Puss' mouth; shocked]'' Puss!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[realizing he has Blind Mouse in his mouth]'' Hmm?<br />
:'''Blind Mouse''': Pardon me? Would you mind letting me go?<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[spits Blind Mouse out; sheepishly]'' Sorry, boss.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Quit messing around! We've got to stop that kiss!<br />
:'''Donkey''': I thought you were gonna let her go.<br />
:'''Shrek''': I was, but I can't let him do this to Fiona.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Boom! That's what I like to hear. Look who's finally coming around!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': It's impossible! We'll never get in. The castle is guarded and there is a moat and everything!<br />
:'''Gingy''': Well, folks, it looks like we're up chocolate creek without a popsicle stick. ''[pausing; Shrek looks at him]'' What?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Do you still know the muffin man?<br />
:'''Gingy''': Well, sure. He's down on Drury Lane. Why?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Because we're gonna need flour. Lots and lots of flour.<br />
:''[Shrek and Gingy soon arrive at the bakery, where Shrek knocks on the door. The muffin man opens the door.]<br />
:'''Muffin Man''': ''[surprised]'' Gingy!<br />
:'''Gingy''': Fire up the ovens, Muffin Man. We've got a big order to fill!<br />
:''[cut to the outside of the bakery, thunder clapping is seen, and deep laughter is heard.]<br />
:'''Gingy''': [[Frankenstein (1910 film)|IT'S ALIVE!]]<br />
----<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[puzzled]'' Is that glitter on your lips?<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Cherry flavored. Want a taste?<br />
----<br />
:''[Shrek and Donkey barged into the ball to rescue Fiona.]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Stop! ''[to Charming]'' Hey, ''you!'' Back away from ''my'' wife!<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[puzzled]'' Shrek? ''[Everyone gasps]''<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''You'' couldn't just go back to ''your'' swamp and ''leave'' well enough alone!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[to the three little pigs]'' NOW!<br />
----<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Harold! You were supposed to give her the potion!<br />
:'''Harold''': Well, I guess I gave her the wrong tea.<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': ''[his last words]'' Mommy! ''[grabs the wand from Puss and throws to Fairy Godmother]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': Mommy?<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[catches her wand and growls; last and final words before her defeat]'' I told you, ogres don't live ''HAPPILY EVER '''AFTER!'''''<br />
:'''Lillian''': Harold!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Shrek!<br />
:'''Harold''': ''NO!'' ''[a transformation into a frog zaps his armor. Floats way up, checking to make sure and raises her wand, then disappears, turning into an explosion burst bubbles, only leaving her wand and her broken glasses that fell on the ground]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': Oh, Dad! ''[cries]''<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': Is he...<br />
:'''Gingy''': Yep. ''[a frog ribbit is heard]'' He croaked.<br />
:'''Lillian''': Harold?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Dad?<br />
:'''Harold''': I'd hoped you'd never see me like this.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Yeah, and he gave you a hard time.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey!<br />
:'''Harold''': No, no, he's right. I'm sorry to both of you. I only wanted what was best for Fiona. But now I can see she finally has it. Shrek, Fiona, will you accept an old frog's apologies and my blessing?<br />
----<br />
:''[The clock strucks midnight]''<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Boss! The Happily Ever After potion!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Midnight! Fiona. Is this what you want? To be this way forever?<br />
:'''Fiona''': What?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Because if you kiss me now... we can stay like this.<br />
:'''Fiona''': You'd do that? For me?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Yes.<br />
:'''Fiona''': I want what any princess wants. To live happily ever after... ''[Shrek starts to lean a little closer to kiss her, but she puts her hand on his mouth]'' With the ogre I married. ''[Shrek smiles]''<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Whatever happens, I must not cry! You cannot make me cry! ''[starts to sob quietly]''<br />
:''[Shrek and Fiona hold there hands and the levitate, and Donkey too. They begin to glow blue, suddenly, the blue glow turns gold, Lillian, Harold and the Fairytale Creatures watches Shrek, Fiona, Donkey break the spell. Shrek, Fiona, Donkey goes down to the ground]''<br />
:'''Gingy''': Wow!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[back to his normal form]'' Hey, you still look like a noble steed to me.<br />
:''[Donkey smiles as well]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': Now...where we're we?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, I remembered.<br />
----<br />
:''[last lines; post credits]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[singing]'' [[w:All by Myself|All by myself, Don't wanna be all by myself... anymore]]<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[enters with two ladies]'' ''Amigo.'' We are off to the [[w:Kit Kat|Kit Kat]] club. Come on, join us.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Thanks, compadre. I'm... I'm not in the mood.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': We will cheer you up! Find you a nice burro! ''[a roar is heard]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[delighted]'' Hey, baby! ''[the Dragon from the [[Shrek|first film]] flies in the scene.]'' Hey, that's my girl! Yeah! All right! Baby, where you been? ''[Dragon cries]'' I’m sorry, too. I should've stayed. But Shrek had this thing he had to do. What? Say it one more time. What you talking about? Are you serious? ''[a baby dronkey flies in]''<br />
:'''Dronkey''': Papa!<br />
:'''Donkey''': '''''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!''''' ''[One breathes fire which Donkey avoids, the baby dronkeys fly in to hug him. Donkey laughs.]'' Look at our little mutant babies! ''[the Dragon blows a pink heart-shaped smoke, the scene cuts to black.]'' I gotta get a job.<br />
<br />
==''Far Far Away Idol''==<br />
:'''[[Simon Cowell]]''': You're on fire, Donkey.<br />
:'''Shrek''': No, you're really on fire!<br />
----<br />
:'''Simon Cowell''': Come on, get real, Pinocchio.<br />
:'''Shrek''': I find his performance quite wooden, actually. ''[laughs]'' Wooden.<br />
----<br />
:'''Simon Cowell''': ''[as Fiona plants a floor trap on Prince Charming while Shrek holds the red button]'' That's the artist formally known as Prince Charming.<br />
----<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[watching Gingy & Tinker Bell dance and form a tune to The Archies "Sugar"]'' They're so sweet together.<br />
:'''Simon Cowell''': I just knew you'd say that, Fiona. ''[groans]'' What's next, a singing donut?<br />
----<br />
:'''Simon Cowell''': The cat's got my tongue, and possibly my vote. ''[notices Shrek and Fiona are not in their seats]'' Ugh. Always breaking the rules!<br />
----<br />
:''[after voting]''<br />
:'''Simon Cowell''': And the next ''Far, Far Away Idol'' is...<br>''[selecting Pinocchio]'' No, you got to be joking.<br>''[selecting Doris]'' Sorry, that is complete rubbish.<br>''[selecting Big Bad Wolf]'' Impossible, I won't allow it!<br>''[selecting Prince Charming]'' Please, I don't think so!<br>''[selecting Three Blind Mice]'' Sorry, I'm afraid you chose wrong.<br>''[selecting Gingy]'' Ugh, now you're being ridiculous!<br>''[selecting Captain Hook]'' That is just wrong!<br>''[throws away the note]'' Nope! It's me, everyone! ''[sings "My Way" by Frank Sinatra as Shrek and his friends cheer]''<br />
:'''Magic Mirror''': Ladies and gentlemen, our time is up here; but we'll look forward to see you next time on ''Far, Far Away Idol''!<br />
<br />
==Cast==<br />
* '''[[w:Mike Myers|Mike Myers]]''' — [[w:Shrek (character)|Shrek]] (speaking voice)<br />
** '''[[w:Michael Gough|Michael Gough]]''' – [[w:Shrek (character)|Shrek]] (singing voice)<br />
* '''[[Eddie Murphy]]''' — [[w:Donkey (Shrek)|Donkey]]<br />
* '''[[Cameron Diaz]]''' — [[w:Princess Fiona|Princess Fiona]]<br />
* '''[[Julie Andrews]]''' — Queen Lillian<br />
* '''[[w:Antonio Banderas|Antonio Banderas]]''' — [[w:Puss in Boots (Shrek)|Puss in Boots]]<br />
* '''[[John Cleese]]''' — King Harold<br />
* '''[[Rupert Everett]]''' — Prince Charming<br />
* '''[[w:Jennifer Saunders|Jennifer Saunders]]''' — [[w:Fairy Godmother (Shrek)|The Fairy Godmother]]<br />
* '''[[Frank Welker]]''' — [[w:Dragon (Shrek)|Dragon]], Dronkeys<br />
* '''[[w:Aron Warner|Aron Warner]]''' — Big Bad Wolf<br />
* '''[[w:Cody Cameron|Cody Cameron]]''' — Pinocchio, Three Pigs<br />
* '''[[w:Conrad Vernon|Conrad Vernon]]''' — Gingy, Muffin Man, Mongo<br />
* '''[[w:Christopher Knights|Chris Knights]]''' — Blind Mouse<br />
* '''[[Larry King]]''' — Doris the Ugly Stepsister<br />
* '''[[w:Chris Miller (animator)|Chris Miller]]''' — Magic Mirror<br />
* '''[[Joan Rivers|Joan Rivers — Herself]]'''<br />
<br />
== See also ==<br />
* ''[[Shrek]]'', a 2001 animated film.<br />
* ''[[Shrek the Third|Shrek 3]]'', the 2007 third film.<br />
* ''[[Shrek Forever After|Shrek 4]]'', the 2010 fourth film.<br />
* ''[[Puss in Boots (2011 film)|Puss in Boots]]'', a 2011 spin-off animated film.<br />
* ''[[Puss in Boots: The Last Wish|Puss in Boots 2: The Last Wish]]'', a 2022 sequel<br />
<br />
==Taglines==<br />
* In Summer 2004, They're Back for More.<br />
* Once Upon Another Time...<br />
* Not So Far, Far Away.<br />
<br />
== External links ==<br />
{{wikipedia}}<br />
* {{IMDb title|id=0298148|title=Shrek 2}}<br />
<br />
{{Shrek}}<br />
<br />
{{Authority control}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:2004 computer-animated films]]<br />
[[Category:2004 American animated films]]<br />
[[Category:2000s American animated films]]<br />
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]<br />
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]<br />
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]<br />
[[Category:American sequel films]]<br />
[[Category:Shrek]]<br />
[[Category:Screenplays by Joe Stillman]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films about royalty]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films set in castles]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films set in the Middle Ages]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films about dragons]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films about cats]]<br />
[[Category:Films about princes]]<br />
[[Category:Animated buddy films]]<br />
[[Category:Fairy films]]<br />
[[Category:Films directed by Conrad Vernon]]<br />
[[Category:2000s English-language films]]<br />
[[Category:Films about potions]]<br />
[[Category:Films directed by Andrew Adamson]]<br />
[[Category:Films directed by Kelly Asbury]]</div>~2026-44937-18https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Shrek_2&diff=3990416Shrek 22026-08-18T12:20:37Z<p>~2026-44937-18: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{italic title}}<br />
[[File:Shrek 2.png|thumb|]]<br />
'''''[[w:Shrek 2|Shrek 2]]''''' is a [[w:2004 in film|2004]] [[w:animated film|animated film]] in which Princess Fiona's parents invite her and Shrek to dinner to celebrate her marriage, not knowing that the newlyweds are both ogres. It is a sequel to the [[Shrek|previous film]]. Produced by [[w:DreamWorks Animation|DreamWorks Animation]], streaming on [[w:Universal Pictures|Peacock]].<br />
:''Directed by [[w:Andrew Adamson|Andrew Adamson]], [[w:Kelly Asbury|Kelly Asbury]], and [[w:Conrad Vernon|Conrad Vernon]]. Written by [[w:Andrew Adamson|Andrew Adamson]], [[w:Joe Stillman|Joe Stillman]], [[w:J. David Stem|J. David Stem]], and [[w:David N. Weiss|David N. Weiss]].''<br />
{{center|'''Once Upon Another Time...'''([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}<br />
<br />
== Shrek ==<br />
* For five minutes. Could you not be yourself...'''FOR FIVE MINUTES?! '''''AHHHHH!!! ARE WE THERE YET?!?!'''''<br />
* Nice catch, Donkey. ''['''Puss''': Finally. Good use for your mouth.]''<br />
* A cute, button nose? Thick, wavy locks?? Taut, round buttocks?! I'm-I'm... ''['''Jill''': Gorgeous.]''<br />
*''[Banging the window, shouting for Fiona]'' Fiona! Fiona! Fiona! Fionaaaaa! ''['''Fairy Godmother''': Fiona? Fiona? Oh, shoot. I don't think they can us, pigeon.]''<br />
* But I love her. ''['''Fairy Godmother''': If you really love her, you'll let her go.]''<br />
* ''[from DVD menu, after pressing "New from DreamWorks Animation"]'' All right! Well, here we go!<br />
<br />
== Puss in Boots ==<br />
[[File:Puss in Boots, 2011, Australia-1.jpg|200px|thumb|Haha! Fear me if you dare!]]<br />
* Who dares enter my room?<br />
* You are told correct. But for this, I charge a great deal of money.<br />
* Hmm. You have engaged my valuable services. Your Majesty. Just tell me where i can find this ogre.<br />
* Ha-ha! Fear me if you dare!<br />
* Pray from mercy from Puss in Boots!<br />
* Finally! A good use for your mouth.<br />
* ''['''Guard''': Catnip.]'' That's, uh, not mine.<br />
* ''[from DVD menu, after pressing "Special Features"]'' Glad to be of assistance.<br />
<br />
== Fiona ==<br />
* Dear diary, Sleeping Beauty is having a slumber party tomorrow, but Dad says I can't go. He never lets me out after sunset. Dad says I'm going away for a while, must be like some finishing school or something. Mom says that when I'm old enough, my handsome Prince Charming will rescue me from my tower and bring me back to my family and, we'll all live happily ever after.<br />
* ''[from DVD menu, after pressing "Far Far Away Idol", burping]'' Excuse me!<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
:''[first lines]''<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': ''[his first words; narrating in his smoking, romantic, luscious, lustrous, regal, soothing and sexy voice]'' Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away, the King and Queen were blessed with a beautiful baby girl, and throughout the land, everyone was happy...until the sun went down, and they saw that their daughter was cursed with a frightful enchantment that took hold each and every night. Desperate, they sought the help of a fairy godmother who had them lock the young princess away in a tower, there to await the kiss of the handsome Prince Charming! ''[the scene shows a tall slightly muscular Prince Charming in a a cuirass and armor with a Red cape riding on his white horse]'' It was he who would chance the perilous journey through blistering cold and scorching desert, traveling for many days and nights, risking life and limb to reach the Dragon's Keep. ''[he rides through a forest, snowy mountains and barren desert for several days,arrives at the Dragon's Keep, an ominous castle surrounded by a moat of lava, but sees that the wooden bridge leading across the lava was destroyed by the Dragon. Uses his bow to shoot a roped arrow to a wooden post on the other side and uses it as a zipline. Looks up at a tower that rises above the rest of the castle, a light shining from its window. He enters the Dragon's Keep]'' For he was ''the'' bravest, ''[takes off his helmet showing his drop-dead gorgeous pretty slim face, bewitching blue eyes, high cheekbones, fair skin, pronounced smashing jawline and strong chin, thick exquisite stunning blonde eyebrows, elegant graceful slender pointy nose and his lips covered in cherry flavored glitter lip gloss forming an alluring bonny winsome ravishing pulchritudinous irresistible and heavenly smile]'' and most handsome... ''[unties his hairnet and shakes in slow motion his Just washed and clean with shampoo and conditioner, beautiful, majestic, glossy, gorgeous, shiny, silky, lustrous, glorious, flowing, marvelous, wavy, smooth, soft and ricocheting neck length blonde hair]'' ...In all the land. And it was destiny that his kiss ''[sprays perfume in his mouth to have a good breath]'' would break the dreaded curse. He alone would climb to the highest room of the tallest tower to the princess's chambers, cross the room to her sleeping silhouette, pull back the gossamer curtains to find her... ''[He continues through the abandoned castle and reaches the princess' tower. enters the princess' room and makes his way to her bed where a figure lays down, obscured by the bed's curtains, pulls the curtain and gasps; the figure is no princess--it's Big Bad Wolf.]'' <br />
:'''Big Bad Wolf''': What? <br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Princess... Fiona?<br />
:'''Big Bad Wolf''': No!<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Oh, thank heavens. Where is she?<br />
:'''Big Bad Wolf''': She's on her honeymoon. <br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Honeymoon? With whom?!<br />
<br />
----<br />
:'''Shrek''': It's so good to be home! Just you and me and...<br />
:'''Donkey''': Two can be as bad as one...<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Shrek! Fiona! Aren't you two a sight for sore eyes! Give us a hug, Shrek, you old love machine. And look at you, Mrs. Shrek. How 'bout a side of sugar for the steed?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey, what are you doing here?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, I was just taking care of your love nest for you!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, you mean like sorting the mail and watering the plants?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Yeah, and feeding the fish!<br />
:'''Shrek''': I don't have any fish.<br />
:'''Donkey''': You do now. I call that one Shrek and the other Fiona. That Shrek is a rascally devil. Get your... ''[mumbling to the "fish"]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, will you look at the time? I guess you'd better be going.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Don't you wanna tell me all about your trip? Or how about a game of Parcheesi?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Actually, Donkey, shouldn't you be getting home to Dragon?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, yeah, that. I don't know. She's been all moody and stuff lately. So I thought I'd move back in with you guys!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Well, you know, we're always happy to see you, Donkey. <br />
:'''Shrek''': But Fiona and I are married now. We need a little time, you know, to be together. Just with each other. Alone.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Say no more, say no more. You don't have to worry about a thing. I will always be here to make sure nobody bothers you.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Yes, roomie?<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''You're'' bothering ''me.''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, okay, all right. Cool. Me and Pinocchio were just gonna try to catch a tournament anyway, so maybe I'll see y'all on Sunday for a barbecue or something. ''[heads outside]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': He'll be fine. Now where were we? ''[realizes]'' Oh, I think I remember. ''[leans in to kiss Fiona, but suddenly sees Donkey in front of him]'' Donkey!<br />
:'''Donkey''': I know, I know! Alone! I'm going! I'm going! Hey, what do you want me to tell those other guys?<br />
<br />
----<br />
:'''Messenger''': ''[swats Reggie with the scroll]'' Enough, Reggie. ''[unfolds the scroll]'' "Dearest, Princess Fiona. You are hereby summoned to the Kingdom of Far, Far Away for a royal ball in celebration of your marriage at which time the King will bestow his royal blessing upon you ''[looks up to see Shrek]'' and your... uh... Prince Charming. Love, the King and Queen of Far, Far Away. ''[closes the scroll]'' aka, Mom and Dad."<br />
:'''Fiona''': Mom and Dad?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Prince Charming?<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[heads outside]'' Royal ball?! Can I come?<br />
:'''Shrek''': We're not going.<br />
:'''Fiona and Donkey''': ''[shocked]'' What?<br />
:'''Shrek''': I mean, don't you think they might be a bit... shocked to see you like this?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Well, they might be a bit surprised. But they're my parents, Shrek. They love me. And don't worry, they're gonna love you, too.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Yeah, right. Somehow, I don't think I'll be welcome at the country club.<br />
:'''Fiona''': Will you stop it? They're not like that.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Then how do you explain Sergeant Pompous and the Fancy Pants Club Band?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Oh, come on! You could at least give them a chance!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, to do what, sharpen their pitchforks?<br />
:'''Fiona''': No, they just want to give you their blessing.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, great. Now I need their blessing?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Well, if you wanna be a part of this family, yes!<br />
:'''Shrek''': And ''who'' says I wanna be a part of this family?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Um, ''you'' did, when you married ''me''!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Well, there's some fine print for you!<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[sighs exasperatedly]'' So, that's it? You won't come?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Trust me, it's a bad idea. We are not going, and ''that's final!''<br />
----<br />
:''[the onion carriage approaches slowly beside the sign "700 Miles to Far, Far Away" on it, beside a line up of trees and humongous mountains]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Shrek''': No.<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage surrounded by pouring rain and thunder on a stone-shaped mountain]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Not yet.<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage on a snowy mountain surrounded by a large line up of falling snow, the sign reads "200 Miles to Far, Far Away" also]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[sing-song]'' Okay, are we there yet?<br />
:'''Fiona''': No.<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage surrounded by leafless trees in the snow]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Shrek''': No!<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage next to stone-shaped walls made with baron rock]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are; we there, yet?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Yes.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Really?<br />
:'''Shrek''': No!<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage on a bridge next to a giant waterfall]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Fiona''': No!<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage passing the sign reading "100 Miles to Far, Far Away" in front of a line up of wooden oak trees]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Shrek''': No, we're not!<br />
:''[scene dissolves]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': ARE WE THERE YET?<br />
:'''Shrek/Fiona''': <big>'''NO!!!!'''</big><br />
:''[split second]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there y...<br />
:'''Shrek''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Hey, that's no...<br />
:'''Shrek''': That's not funny.<br />
:'''Donkey''': That's...<br />
:'''Shrek''': That's immature!<br />
----<br />
:''[Shrek gulps at the dinner table. To his sides sits Lillian and Fiona, and across from him sits Harold. Lillian looks around nervously and Harold angrily stares at Shrek. Shrek, unsure of how to eat the food on his plate properly, plops it in his mouth, and grins with the food still stuck in his teeth. Lillian cringes. Fiona tries to sip her drink courteously]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[lets out a loud belch that interrupts a conversation]'' Oh! Excuse me.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Better out than in, I always say. Eh, Fiona? ''[he and Fiona laughed]'' That's good enough... '' [they stopped laughing after neither Harold nor Lillian join in]'' I guess not.<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[from another room]'' What do you mean, "not on the list"? Don't tell me you don't know who I am. ''[bursts into the scene from the kitchen]'' Hey! What's happening, everybody? Thanks for waiting. You know I had the hardest time finding this place. ''[sits next to Harold]''<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[angrily]'' No, no! Bad Donkey! Bad, down!<br />
:'''Fiona''': No, no, no, Dad! Dad! It's all right! It's all right. He’s with us. He helped rescue me from the dragon.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Yup, that's me: the noble steed. ''[to the server]'' Hey, waiter! How ‘bout a bowl for the steed?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, boy. ''[slurps from the bowl]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': Um, Shrek?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Yeah? Oh, sorry! Great soup, Mrs Q. Mmm!<br />
:'''Fiona''': No, no, no. Darling. ''[demonstrates that the bowl he ate from is for washing his hands]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh. ''[chuckles]''<br />
:'''Lillian''': ''[as the rest does the same]'' So, Fiona, tell us about where you live?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Well, Shrek owns his own land. ''[to Shrek]'' Don't you, honey?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, yes! It's in an enchanted forest abundant in squirrels and...cute little duckies and--<br />
:'''Donkey''': What?! ''[laughs]'' I know you ain't talkin' about the swamp!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[clenches through his teeth]'' Donkey.<br />
:'''Harold''': An ogre from a swamp. Oh! How original. ''[Donkey dunks his mouth in his bowl and drinks]''<br />
:'''Lillian''': Well, I suppose that would be a fine place to raise the children...<br />
:''[Harold starts choking on his drink and Shrek accidentally swallows his spoon. They both cough, choke and splutter until Shrek spits out his spoon onto the table.]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[chuckles]'' It's a bit early to be thinking about that, isn't it?<br />
:'''Harold''': Indeed. I just started eating.<br />
:'''Lillian''': Harold!<br />
:'''Shrek''': What's that supposed to mean?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Dad, it's great, okay?<br />
:'''Harold''': Well, for his type, yes.<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[offended]'' ''My'' type?!<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[starts to leave, nervously]'' Uh, I gotta go to the bathroom.<br />
:'''The Chef''': ''[he and a host of servers enter the room with dinner, including a whole turkey, lobster, and a roast pig.]'' Dinner is-a served!<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[sits back down]'' Never mind, I can hold it. ''[The servers set the food on the table.]''<br />
:'''The Chef''': Bon appetit!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, Mexican food! My favorite!<br />
:'''Lillian''': Well, let's just not sit here with our tummies rumblin', everybody dig in.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Don't mind if I do, Lillian!<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[pulls the lobster towards himself before Donkey can take a bite out of it]'' So, I suppose any grandchildren I could expect from you would be--<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[pulls the turkey towards him]'' Ogres? ''Yes.''<br />
:'''Lillian''': Not that there's anything wrong with that. Right, Harold?<br />
:'''Harold''': Oh, no! No! Of course, not! That is, assuming you don't ''[ferociously and savagely stabs the knife into the lobster]'' ''EAT'' your own ''[ferociously and savagely slices open the lobster]'' ''YOUNG!''<br />
:'''Fiona''': Dad!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, no, we usually prefer the ones who've been... ''[ferociously and savagely rips off both drumsticks from the turkey]'' ''LOCKED'' away in a tower! ''[ferociously and savagely takes a bite out of one drumstick in his left hand]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[begging]'' Shrek, please!<br />
:'''Harold''': I only did that because I '''''love''''' her.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, aye! Daycare or dragon-guarded castle?! ''[ferociously and savagely pulls out a wish bone from the turkey]''<br />
:'''Harold''': You wouldn't understand! You're not her father!<br />
:''[Fiona sighs in exasperation and facepalms herself as Shrek and Harold continue to rip apart their food in ferocity and savagery, sending bits and pieces flying across the table.]''<br />
:'''Lillian''': It's so nice to have the family together for dinner. ''[Shrek and Harold stand up from their seats in rage and glare at each other, then ferociously and savagely tug over the roast pig in the middle of the table, accidentally sending it flying upwards]'' Harold!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Shrek!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Fiona?!<br />
:'''Harold''': Fiona!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Mom!<br />
:'''Lillian''': Harold!<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[happily]'' Donkey!<br />
:''[The roast pig lands on the table in front of Donkey and Lillian with a thud; Fiona angrily stands up and glares at Harold and Shrek, then runs out of the room, causing Harold to become enraged and Shrek to sigh.]''<br />
----<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[after popping the bubble, close encountering Fiona]'' My name is Fairy Godmother.<br />
:'''Fiona''': I have a fairy godmother!<br />
----<br />
:'''Shrek''': Fiona? Fiona?! ''[barges into the room along with Donkey. Fairy Godmother gasps at Shrek]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, you got a puppy?! All I got in my room was shampoo.<br />
:'''Fiona''': Oh, um, Fairy Godmother, furniture, I'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[confused]'' Your husband? What did you say? When did this happen?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Shrek is the one ''who'' rescued me.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[angrily]'' But that can't be right!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[wearily]'' Oh, great! More relatives!<br />
:'''Fiona''': She's just trying to help.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Good! She can help us pack. Get your coat, dear. We're leaving.<br />
:'''Fiona''': What?!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Leaving? I don't wanna leave.<br />
:'''Fiona''': When did you decide this?<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[as he is packing]'' Shortly after arrivin'.<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[remorsefully]'' Look, I'm sorry...<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': No, no, no, that's okay. I need to go anyway. But remember, dear, if you should ever need me, ''[whips out a "Happiness" business card]'' happiness is just a teardrop away.<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[snatches the "Happiness" card from Fairy Godmother; sarcastically]'' Thanks, but we've got ''all'' the happiness we need. Happy, happy, happy.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': So I see. ''[laughs in a not so good way]'' Let's go, Kyle. ''[Kyle whips the horses on the carriage and he and the Fairy Godmother leaves]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[sarcastically]'' Very nice, Shrek.<br />
:'''Shrek''': What? I told you that comin' here was a bad idea.<br />
:'''Fiona''': You could have at least tried to get along with my father.<br />
:'''Shrek''': You know, somehow, I don't think I was going to get daddy's blessing, even if I did want it.<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[as a bichon Frise starts barking]'' Well, do you think it might be nice if somebody asked me what I wanted?!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Sure. Do you want me to pack for you?!<br />
:'''Fiona''': You're unbelievable! You're behavin' like a... ''[hesitates and sighs]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Go on, say it!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Like an ''OGRE!''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Well, here's a newsflash for you, whether your parents like it or not, '''''I AM AN OGRE.''''' ''[the puppy barks even louder; Shrek furiously and roars at it, scares the puppy, who covers its face in fear]'' And guess what, Princess? That's '''''NOT''''' about to change.<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[sadly walks to the door]'' I've made changes for you, Shrek. Think about that. ''[leaves]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[deadpan]'' That's real smooth, Shrek. ''[imitating Shrek]'' ''I'M AN OGRE! UARGH!''<br />
:''[Shrek walks to the door and hears Fiona sob from outside of the bedroom and sighs in guilt, realizing what he has done to hurt her feelings. The camera pans northeast to Harold and Lillian's room.]''<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[after hearing Shrek and Fiona's argument]'' I knew this would happen!<br />
:'''Lillian''': You should. You started it.<br />
:'''Harold''': I can hardly believe that, Lillian. I mean, really, he's the ogre, not me.<br />
:'''Lillian''': I think, Harold, you're taking this a little too personally. ''This'' is Fiona's choice.<br />
:'''Harold''': Yes, but she was supposed to choose the prince ''we'' picked out for her! I mean, you expect me to give my blessings to this... this... thing?<br />
:'''Lillian''': Fiona does, and she'll never forgive you if you don't. I don't want to lose our daughter again, Harold. ''[Harold sighs]'' Oh, you act as if love is totally predictable. Don't you remember when we were young and, oh, we used to walk down by the lily pond, and they were in bloom.<br />
:'''Harold''': Our first kiss. IT'S NOT THE SAME! I don't think you realize that our daughter has married a MONSTER!<br />
:'''Lillian''': Oh, stop being such a drama king.<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[as Fairy Godmother's carriage approaches]'' Fine, fine! Pretend that there's nothing wrong! La-di-da, di-da, di-da! It's all wonderful! I like to know how could it get any worse!<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[opens the door]'' Hello, Harold.<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[scared]'' Aaah!<br />
:'''Lillian''': What happened?<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[hesitantly]'' Uh, nothing! Nothing, dear! Just the old crusade wound playing up a bit! ''[chuckles]'' I’ll just stretch it out here for a while. ''[closes the balcony door]''<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': You better get in. We need to talk.<br />
:'''Harold''': Actually, Fairy Godmother, just off to bed. ''[yawns]'' Already taken my pills, and they tend to make me a bit drowsy. So, um how about... we make this a quick visit. What? ''[bumps into two of her henchmen, who then get him in the carriage]'' Oh, hello.<br />
----<br />
:'''Harold''': So, what's new?<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[to Harold]'' You remember my son, Prince Charming? ''[shows him sitting next to her]''<br />
:'''Harold''': Charming! Is that you? My gosh, it's been years! When, uh... When did you get back?<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Oh, about five minutes ago, actually. ''[enraged]'' After I endured blistering winds, scorching desert, I climbed to the highest room of the tallest tower--<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[cuts him off]'' Tut, tut, tut. Mummy can handle this. ''[to King Harold, using the same tone he used earlier]'' He endures blistering winds and scorching desert! He climbs to the highest bloody room of the tallest bloody tower, and what does he find? Some gender-confused wolf telling him that ''his'' princess... '''''is already married!'''''<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[stammers]'' I mean, it wasn't my fault; He didn't get there in time.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': '''''STOP THE CAR!''' [the carriage screeches to a stop]'' Harold... ''[two of her henchmen crack their knuckles as the window rolls down]'' You forced me to do something I '''''really''''' don't want to do.<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[gasps]'' Where are we?<br />
:''[It is revealed that the carriage has pulled up at a fast-food restaurant drive-thru.]''<br />
:'''Fast-food Clerk''': ''[cheerfully]'' Well, hi there! Welcome to Friar's Fat Boy. May I take your order?<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': My diet is ruined! I hope you're happy. ''[to the fast-food clerk]'' Uh, okay. Two renaissance wraps, no mayo... chili rings...<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': I'll have the medieval meal.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': One medieval meal and, Harold. Curly fries?<br />
:'''Harold''': Oh no. No, thank you.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Sourdough soft taco, then? What do you want?<br />
:'''Harold''': No, really. I'm fine.<br />
:'''Fast-food Clerk''': ''[gives Fairy Godmother their meals]'' Your order, Fairy Godmother. ''[also gives her a free double-headed toy axe]'' And ''this'' comes with the medieval meal.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[gives the axe to Charming]'' Here you are, dear. ''[the carriage flies away]'' You see, we made a deal, Harold, and I assume you don't want me to go back on my part.<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[sighs deeply]'' Indeed not.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': So, Fiona and Charming ''will be together''.<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[doubtfully]'' Yes.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Oh, believe me, Harold. It's what's best, not only for your daughter.''[She takes a bite of her wrap taco and talks with her mouth full]'' But for your kingdom.<br />
:''[The carriage pulls up back at the castle and one of her henchmen shoves Harold out]''<br />
:'''Harold''': Well, what am ''I'' supposed to do about it?<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[tosses the double-headed toy axe into his hands]'' Use your imagination. ''[flies off]''<br />
----<br />
:'''Harold''': Uh, no. You must be mistaking me for someone else. Uh, excuse me. I'm looking for the Ugly Stepsister. ''[said Ugly Stepsister reveals herself]'' Ah. There you are. Right. You see, I need to have someone taken care of.<br />
:'''Ugly Stepsister''': Who's the guy?<br />
:'''Harold''': Um, he's not a guy, per se, um, he's ''[whispers]'' an ''ogre''.<br />
:''[The entire bar gasp at Harold saying "ogre"; the piano stops playing.]''<br />
:'''Ugly Stepsister''': Hey, buddy, let me clue you in. There's only one fellow who can handle a job like that, and, frankly... he don't like to be ''disturbed''.<br />
:'''Harold''': Where could I find him? ''[heads to the backroom and knocks, slowly opens the door]'' Uh, hello? ''[sees a pair of black boots beside the shining window]''<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[He opens his eyes]'' Who dares enter my room?<br />
:'''Harold''': Sorry. I hope I'm not interrupting anything. But I was told that you are the one to handle an ogre... problem.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': You are told correct. ''[scoffs]'' But for this, I charge a great deal of money.<br />
:'''Harold''': Would this be enough? ''[places a bag of coins on the table]''<br />
:''[Puss in Boots stands up and raises his sword to slice off the string, causing gold coins to spill out of the sack.]''<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Hmm. You have engaged my valuable services. ''[grins]'' Your Majesty. Just tell me: Where I can find this ogre?<br />
----<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[to Shrek, after reading Fiona's diary]'' Oh, sorry; I hope I'm not interrupting anything.<br />
:'''Shrek''': No, no; I was, uh...reading a scary book.<br />
----<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[is an orange cat wearing black hat and cape]'' Ha-ha. Fear me, if you dare. ''[hisses]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, look, a little cat.<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[sees the sword in Puss' paws]'' Look out, Shrek! He got a piece!<br />
:'''Shrek''': It's a cat, Donkey. Come here little, kitty, kitty, kitty. Come on. Kitty. ''[Puss screeches and attacks Shrek and he screams]'' <br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[gasps in shock]'' Hold on, Shrek!<br />
:'''Shrek''': GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! OH, GOD!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Shrek, hold still! ''[kicks the Shrek's bottom and moans]'' Did I miss?<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[painfully]'' No, you got him.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[after he attacks Shrek]'' Now ye ogre! Pray for mercy from... ''[slashes "P" on the tree]'' Puss... in Boots!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[groans]'' I'll kill that cat!<br />
:'''Donkey''': No!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Ah-ha-ha-ha! ''[drops the sword, then starts heaves for a second, confusing Shrek and Donkey; spits out the hairball and coughs]'' Phew. ''[chuckles]'' Hairball.<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[disgusted]'' Oh, that is nasty!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[picks up Puss by the back of the neck]'' What do you reckon we should do with him?<br />
:'''Donkey''': I say we take the sword and neuter him right here; Give him the Bob Barker treatment!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[frightened]'' Oh, no! Por favor! Please! I implore you! It was nothing personal, Señor! I was doing it only for my family. My mother, she is sick. And my father lives off the garbage! The king offered me much in gold and I have a litter of brothers--<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[covers Puss' mouth with his finger]'' Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Fiona's father paid you to do this?<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': The rich king? Sí. ''[Shrek drops him to the ground, who screeches]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[sighs]'' Well, so much for Dad's royal blessing.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, come on, Shrek, don't feel bad. Almost everybody that meets you wants to kill you.<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[sits on the rock]'' Gee, thanks. ''[looks down at the river reflection and sighs]'' Maybe Fiona would have been better off if I were some sort of Prince Charming.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Sí, that's what the king said. ''[Donkey glares angrily]'' Oh, uh...sorry. I thought that question was directed at me.<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[walks over to Shrek]'' Shrek, Fiona knows you'd do anything for her.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Well, it's not like I wouldn't change if I could. I just...I just wish I could make her happy. ''[pauses out; to Donkey]'' Hold the phone... ''[pulls out Fairy Godmother's business card]'' "Happiness." ''[flips it over]'' "A tear drop away." Donkey, think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, man, where do I begin? Well first there was the time that old farmer tried to sell me for some magic beans. I ain't never got over that. Then this fool went off and had a party and he had the guests trying to pin the tail on me. Then they got all drunk and start beatin' me with a stick going, "Piñata! Piñata!" What is a piñata, anyway?!<br />
:'''Shrek''': No, Donkey, I need you to cry!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Yeah, well don't go projecting on me! I know you're feelin' bad, but you gotta let your own- ''[Puss angrily stomps on his hoof]'' '''''OW!!!!!!!!!''''' ''[tearfully]'' You little hairy litter-licking sack of... ''[Donkey's tears shed and Shrek lets it drop onto the card, conjuring a bubble with Fairy Godmother in it]''<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''["Voice Message" Bubble forms after landing]'' What? Is it on? Is it on? ''[clears her throat]'' This is Fairy Godmother. I'm either away from my desk or with a client, but if you come by the office, we'll be glad to give you a personal appointment. Have a Happy Ever After! ''[the bubble pops]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Ohhh.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Are you up for a little quest, Donkey?<br />
:'''Donkey''': That's more like it! Shrek and Donkey, on another whirlwind adventure! ''[singing]'' Ain't no stoppin' us now! Whoo! We're on the move!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Stop, ogre! ''[bows to Shrek]'' I have misjudged you.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Join the club. We've got jackets.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': On my honor, I am obliged to accompany you until I have saved your life as you have spared me mine.<br />
:'''Donkey''': I'm sorry, the position of annoying talking animal has already been taken. Let's go, Shrek! ''[sees Shrek walking to Puss]'' Shrek? ''[slightly pauses; Shrek looks down at Puss, who gives him a cute, helpless look; Shrek smiles]'' Shrek!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Aw, come on, Donkey. Look at him; in his wee little boots. You know, how many cats can wear boots? Honestly. Aw, let's keep him!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Say what?! ''[Puss purrs and Shrek marvels at his cuteness; groans in frustration]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Aw, listen. He's purring!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, so now it's cute!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Aw, come on, Donkey. Lighten up.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Lighten up?! Oh, I should lighten up?! Look who's telling who to lighten up!<br />
----<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[close encountering a humongous factory with colored smoke]'' Oh, no; that's the old Keebler's place! Let's just back away slowly.<br />
----<br />
:''[Shrek, Donkey, and Puss arrive at the Fairy Godmother's potion factory]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Hi. I'm here to see...<br />
:'''Jerome''': The Fairy Godmother. I'm sorry, she is not in.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[from the gramophone intercom]'' Jerome! Coffee and a monte Christo, now.<br />
:'''Jerome''': ''[sighs]'' Yes, Fairy Godmother. Right away. ''[to Shrek]'' Look, she's not seeing any client today, okay?<br />
:'''Shrek''': That's okay, buddy. We're from the union.<br />
:'''Jerome''': The union?<br />
:'''Shrek''': We represent the workers in all magical industries both evil and benign.<br />
:'''Jerome''': Oh, oh, right.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Are you feeling at all degraded or oppressed?<br />
:'''Jerome''': Uh... ''[turns the gramophone intercom away from him]'' A little. W-We don't even have dental.<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[whispers to Donkey]'' They don't even have dental. ''[to Jerome]'' Okay, we're just gonna have a look around. Oh, by the way, I think it would better if the Fairy Godmother didn't know we were here. Know what I'm saying? Huh?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Hmm?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Huh?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Huh? Huh?! '''''HUH?!?!'''''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Stop it!<br />
:'''Jerome''': Of course. Go right in.<br />
----<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Ah, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh... "Princess"! ''Cinderella''. Here we are: "Lived happily ever after." Oh. ''[fake chuckles]'' No ogres. Let's see. ''Snow White''. "A handsome prince." Ah, no ogres. ''[[Sleeping Beauty (1959 film)|Sleeping Beauty]]''. Oh, no ogres. ''[[Hansel and Gretel (2002 film)|Hansel and Gretel]]''. No. ''[[Thumbelina (1994 film)|Thumbelina]]''. No! ''The Golden Bird'', ''[[The Little Mermaid (1989 film)|The Little Mermaid]]'', ''[[Pretty Woman]]''. No, no, no, no, NO! You see, ogres don't live happily ever after.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Alright, look, lady!<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Don't you point those dirty green sausages at me! ''[pushes his finger out of her face]''<br />
:'''Worker''': Your Monte Christo and coffee. Oh! Sorry.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Ah, that's okay. We were just leaving. Very sorry to have wasted your time, Miss Godmother.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Just... go.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Come on, guys. ''[leaves]''<br />
----<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, yeah, you're right. I'm sure nice BM is the perfect solution for marital problems!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Elfa Seltzer.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Uh-uh.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Hex Lax. <br />
:'''Shrek''': No. Try "handsome".<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Sorry, no handsome. ''[finds a blue potion bottle labeled; "Happily Ever After" in the restricted shelf]'' Hey, how about Happily Ever After?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Well, what does it do? <br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': It says "Beauty Divine".<br />
:'''Donkey''': In some creatures, donkeys are revered as the wisest of all creatures. Especially us talking ones.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey! Then we'll have to. We got company. <br />
:'''Donkey''': Will you get on with this.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Hurry! ''[Puss pulls the blue potion, but drops it]'' Nice catch, Donkey.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Finally! A good use for your mouth. ''[More colors of potions drop, the siren sounds, and the door begins to close.]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Come on!<br />
----<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': What?! Where is he, mum? ''[raises his sword due to the incident of Fairy Godmother's potion factory]'' I shall rend their heads from their shoulders! I will smite them where he stabs. He will rue the very day HE STOLE MY KINGDOM FROM ME!<br />
----<br />
:''[After escaping Fairy Godmother's potion factory]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[reading the potion bottle]'' "Happily Ever After Potion. Maximum strength. "For you and your true love. If one of you drinks this, you both will be fine. Happiness, comfort and beauty divine."<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[confused]'' You both will be fine?<br />
:'''Shrek''': I guess it means it'll affect Fiona too. ''[opens the potion bottle]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Hey, man, this don't feel right. My donkey senses are tingling all over. So why don't you just drop that jug o' voodoo, and let's get out of here.<br />
:'''Shrek''': It says, "beauty divine". How bad can it be? ''[sniffs the potion and sneezes]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': A-ha! See, You're allergic to that stuff. You'll have a reaction. And if you think that I'll be smearing Vapor Rub all over your chest, think again!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Boss, just in case there is something wrong with the potion... allow me to take the first sip. It would be an honor to lay my life on the line for you.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, no, no. I don't think so. If there'll be any animal testing, I'll do it. That’s the best friend's job. Now give me that bottle. ''[snatches the potion bottle from Shrek's hands with his mouth and starts drinking it, but Shrek snatches it back from Donkey]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': How do you feel?<br />
:'''Donkey''': I don't ''feel'' any different. Do I look any different?<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': You still look like an ass to me.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Maybe it doesn't work on donkeys. Well, here's to us, Fiona.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Shrek? You drink that, there's no going back.<br />
:'''Shrek''': I know.<br />
:'''Donkey''': No more wallowing in the mud?<br />
:'''Shrek''': I know.<br />
:'''Donkey''': No more itchy butt crack?<br />
:'''Shrek''': I know!<br />
:'''Donkey''': But you love being an ogre!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''I know!'' ''[sighs]'' But I love Fiona more. ''[starts chugging the potion]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Shrek, no! Wait! ''[Shrek swallows the potion, then feels his stomach gurglin'. Donkey and Puss hides behind the rock, then Shrek farts]'' Got to be... Shrek, I think you grabbed the "Farty Ever After" potion.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Maybe it's a dud.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Or maybe Fiona and I were never meant to be.<br />
:''[Dark storm clouds appear above Shrek, Donkey and Puss.]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Uh-oh. What did I tell you? I feel something coming on. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die! ''[rain starts pouring, soaking the trio and getting them wet]'' Oh, sweet sister, mother of mercy! '''I'm melting!''' '''''I'M MELTING!!'''''<br />
:'''Shrek''': It's just the rain, Donkey.<br />
:''[Donkey chuckles as they head to a barn for some shelter. The blue ooze from Shrek's sneeze reaction on the mushroom transforms into a flower rose.]''<br />
----<br />
:''[After Shrek, Donkey and Puss arrived at the barn for shelter for the night]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Shrek, don't worry. Things seem bad because it's dark and rainy and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you. ''[Puss hisses at him]'' It'll be better in the morning. You'll see. ''[sings, then gets dizzy]'' The sun'll come out... Tomorrow... Bet your bottom...<br />
:'''Shrek''': Bet my bottom?<br />
:'''Donkey''': I'm comin', Elizabeth! ''[faints]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey? A-Are you all right?<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Hey, boss. Let's shave him.<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[gets dizzy]'' D-Donkey...? ''[groans and faints and land on Puss’ tail as he yowls off-screen]''<br />
----<br />
:''[Later this morning, the Jill and maidens woke up]''<br />
:'''Jill''': Good morning, sleepyhead.<br />
:'''Maidans''': Good morning! We lover your kitty.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, my head.<br />
:'''Jill''': Here. I fetched you a pail of water.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Thanks. ''[sees his human hands, picks up the wooden bucket; sees a human version of himself, drops the bucket and spills water]'' Oh. ''[checks his skin to make sure]'' A cute, button nose? Thick, wavy locks? Thick, round buttocks? I must be...<br />
----<br />
:'''Knight''': Halt!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Tell Princess Fiona her husband Sir Shrek is here to see you!<br />
:''[A white bird flies past one of the windows of the Far, Far Away Castle and goes to Fiona's room. Fiona looks at the reflection, realizing she is a human again, and screams.]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Fiona!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Shrek?<br />
----<br />
:''[the Fairy Godmother raises her wand and doors close, the Chest of Drawers blocks Shrek's way]''<br />
:'''Talking Chest Drawer''': You wanna dance, pretty boy?<br />
----<br />
:'''Doris''': There you go, boys.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Just leave the bottle, Doris.<br />
:'''Doris''': Hey, why the long face?<br />
:'''Shrek''': It was all just a stupid mistake. I never should have rescued her from that tower in the first place.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': I hate Mondays.<br />
:'''Donkey''': I can't believe you're just gonna walk away from the best thing that happened to you.<br />
:'''Shrek''': What choice do I have? She loves that pretty boy, Prince Charming.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Aw, come on, Shrek. Is he really that good-looking?<br />
:'''Doris''': Are you kidding? He's gorgeous! He has a face that looks like it was carved by angels.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Oh, he sounds dreamy.<br />
:'''Shrek''': You know, shockingly, this isn't making me feel any better. ''[sighs]'' Look, guys, it's for the best. Mom and Dad approve, and Fiona gets the man she's always dreamed of. Everybody wins.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Except you. I don't get it, Shrek. You love Fiona.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Aye. And that's why I have to let her go.<br />
:'''Harold''': Um, excuse me. Is she here?<br />
:'''Doris''': She's, uh, in the back.<br />
:'''Harold''': Oh, hello again!<br />
----<br />
:'''Harold''': Fairy Godmother. Charming.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Ugh, you'd better have a good reason for dragging us down here, Harold.<br />
:'''Harold''': Well, I'm afraid Fiona isn't really... warming up to Prince Charming.<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Um, FYI, not my fault.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': No, no, of course it's not, dear.<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': I mean, how charming can I be when I have to pretend that I'm that dreadful ogre?<br />
:'''Harold''': No, no, it's nobody's fault. Perhaps it's best if we just call the whole thing off, okay?<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother and Prince Charming''': ''[in unison; shocked]'' What?!<br />
:'''Harold''': I mean, you can't force someone to fall in love!<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Oh, I beg to differ. I do it all the time. ''[pulls out the Love Potion 9 vial and hands it to Harold, and he takes it]'' Have Fiona drink this and she'll fall in love with the first man she kisses, which will be Charming.<br />
:'''Harold''': Umm, no.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': What did you say?<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[stutters]'' I...I...I can't. I...I won't do it.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Oh, yes, you will. If you remember, I helped you with your happily ever after. And I can '''''take''''' it away just as easily. ''[sticks her wand in his face]'' Is that what you want? Is it?<br />
:'''Harold''': No.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[puts down her wand]'' Good boy. Now, we have to go. I need to do Charming's hair before the ball. He's hopeless. Y'know he's all high in the front, he can never get to the back. You always need someone to do the back of your hair.<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Oh. Thank you, mother.<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[from outside the window; shocked]'' MOTHER?! ''[Fairy Godmother, Charming and Harold turn their heads fast to see Shrek, Donkey and Puss outside the window, hearing everything]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Um, Mary! A talking horse!<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[enraged]'' The ogre! ''[Shrek, Donkey, and Puss ride away from the Poison Apple; flies after them, telling the knights to get them; furious] '''STOP THEM! THIEVES! BANDITS! STOP THEM!'''''<br />
----<br />
:'''Magic Mirror''': We'll be right back for more ''Far, Far Away Ball'' after these messages.<br />
:'''Gingy''': I hate these ball shows. They bore me to tears! Flip over to Wheel of Torture!<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': I'm not flipping anywhere; sir, 'til I see Shrek and Fiona!<br />
----<br />
:'''Harold''': Darling? Ah, I thought I might find you here. How about a nice hot cup of tea before the ball?<br />
:'''Fiona''': I'm not going.<br />
:'''Harold''': But the whole kingdom's turned out to celebrate your marriage.<br />
:'''Fiona''': There's just one problem: That’s not my husband.''[sees Prince Charming]'' I mean, look at him!<br />
:'''Harold''': Yes, he is a bit different, but people change for the ones they love you’d be surprised how much I change for your mother change.<br />
:'''Fiona''': "Change"? ''[about Prince Charming]'' He's completely lost his mind.<br />
:'''Harold''': Honey, why not come down to the ball and give him another chance? I mean, you might find you like this new Shrek.<br />
:'''Fiona''': But it's the ''old'' one I fell in love with, dad!<br />
:'''Harold''': Uh, honey, that’s mine. Decaf. Otherwise, I'm up all night.<br />
:'''Fiona''': Thanks.<br />
----<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[screaming]'' I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE! YOU CAN'T LOCK US LIKE THIS! LET ME GO! WHAT ABOUT MY MIRANDA RIGHTS?! You're supposed to say, "You have the right to remain silent." '''NOBODY SAID I HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!'''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey, you ''have'' the right to remain silent. What you lack is the capacity.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[camera shows just him]'' I must hold on before I, too, go totally mad.<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': Shrek? Donkey?<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[looks up to see fairy tale creatures above him]'' Too late.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Gingy, Pinocchio, get us out of here!<br />
----<br />
:'''Shrek''': Quick, tell a lie!<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': What should I say?<br />
:'''Gingy''': Anything, but quick!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Say something crazy, like, "I'm wearing ladies underwear!"<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': I'm wearing ladies underwear.<br />
:''[But nothing happens; he is telling the truth]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Are you?<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': I most certainly am not! ''[his nose extends]''<br />
:'''Mini Donkey''': It looks like you most certainly am are!<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': I am not! ''[his nose extends more]''<br />
:'''Puss''': What kind?<br />
:'''Gingy''': It's a thong! ''[pulls at his pink thong and lets it slap back]''<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': Ow! They're briefs!<br />
:'''Gingy''': ''[takes the key and runs across Pinocchio's nose as it continues to extend with each denial]'' Are not!<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': Are too!<br />
:'''Gingy''' Are not!<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': Are too!<br />
:'''Gingy''': ''[reaches Shrek and uses the key to free Shrek, Donkey, and Puss]'' Alright, here we go. Hang tight.<br />
:''[Shrek lands his feet on the cell floor, followed by Puss.]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Wait, wait, wait! Ow! Ow! Hey, hey, hey! ''[lands on his back on the cell floor]'' Ow! ''[Shrek looks at the Far Far Away palace from outside the window]''<br />
:'''Blind Mouse''': ''[muffled; to Puss]'' Excuse me?!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[hears a muffled voice]'' What? ''[sees the mouse's tail sticking out from Puss' mouth; shocked]'' Puss!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[realizing he has Blind Mouse in his mouth]'' Hmm?<br />
:'''Blind Mouse''': Pardon me? Would you mind letting me go?<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[spits Blind Mouse out; sheepishly]'' Sorry, boss.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Quit messing around! We've got to stop that kiss!<br />
:'''Donkey''': I thought you were gonna let her go.<br />
:'''Shrek''': I was, but I can't let him do this to Fiona.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Boom! That's what I like to hear. Look who's finally coming around!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': It's impossible! We'll never get in. The castle is guarded and there is a moat and everything!<br />
:'''Gingy''': Well, folks, it looks like we're up chocolate creek without a popsicle stick. ''[pausing; Shrek looks at him]'' What?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Do you still know the muffin man?<br />
:'''Gingy''': Well, sure. He's down on Drury Lane. Why?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Because we're gonna need flour. Lots and lots of flour.<br />
:''[Shrek and Gingy soon arrive at the bakery, where Shrek knocks on the door. The muffin man opens the door.]<br />
:'''Muffin Man''': ''[surprised]'' Gingy!<br />
:'''Gingy''': Fire up the ovens, Muffin Man. We've got a big order to fill!<br />
:''[cut to the outside of the bakery, thunder clapping is seen, and deep laughter is heard.]<br />
:'''Gingy''': [[Frankenstein (1910 film)|IT'S ALIVE!]]<br />
----<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[puzzled]'' Is that glitter on your lips?<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Cherry flavored. Want a taste?<br />
----<br />
:''[Shrek and Donkey barged into the ball to rescue Fiona.]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Stop! ''[to Charming]'' Hey, ''you!'' Back away from ''my'' wife!<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[puzzled]'' Shrek? ''[Everyone gasps]''<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''You'' couldn't just go back to ''your'' swamp and ''leave'' well enough alone!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[to the three little pigs]'' NOW!<br />
----<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Harold! You were supposed to give her the potion!<br />
:'''Harold''': Well, I guess I gave her the wrong tea.<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': ''[his last words]'' Mommy! ''[grabs the wand from Puss and throws to Fairy Godmother]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': Mommy?<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[catches her wand and growls; last and final words before her defeat]'' I told you, ogres don't live ''HAPPILY EVER '''AFTER!'''''<br />
:'''Lillian''': Harold!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Shrek!<br />
:'''Harold''': ''NO!'' ''[a transformation into a frog zaps his armor. Floats way up, checking to make sure and raises her wand, then disappears, turning into an explosion burst bubbles, only leaving her wand and her broken glasses that fell on the ground]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': Oh, Dad! ''[cries]''<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': Is he...<br />
:'''Gingy''': Yep. ''[a frog ribbit is heard]'' He croaked.<br />
:'''Lillian''': Harold?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Dad?<br />
:'''Harold''': I'd hoped you'd never see me like this.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Yeah, and he gave you a hard time.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey!<br />
:'''Harold''': No, no, he's right. I'm sorry to both of you. I only wanted what was best for Fiona. But now I can see she finally has it. Shrek, Fiona, will you accept an old frog's apologies and my blessing?<br />
----<br />
:''[The clock strucks midnight]''<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Boss! The Happily Ever After potion!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Midnight! Fiona. Is this what you want? To be this way forever?<br />
:'''Fiona''': What?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Because if you kiss me now... we can stay like this.<br />
:'''Fiona''': You'd do that? For me?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Yes.<br />
:'''Fiona''': I want what any princess wants. To live happily ever after... ''[Shrek starts to lean a little closer to kiss her, but she puts her hand on his mouth]'' With the ogre I married. ''[Shrek smiles]''<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Whatever happens, I must not cry! You cannot make me cry! ''[starts to sob quietly]''<br />
:''[Shrek and Fiona hold there hands and the levitate, and Donkey too. They begin to glow blue, suddenly, the blue glow turns gold, Lillian, Harold and the Fairytale Creatures watches Shrek, Fiona, Donkey break the spell. Shrek, Fiona, Donkey goes down to the ground]''<br />
:'''Gingy''': Wow!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[back to his normal form]'' Hey, you still look like a noble steed to me.<br />
:''[Donkey smiles as well]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': Now...where we're we?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, I remembered.<br />
----<br />
:''[last lines; post credits]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[singing]'' [[w:All by Myself|All by myself, Don't wanna be all by myself... anymore]]<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[enters with two ladies]'' ''Amigo.'' We are off to the [[w:Kit Kat|Kit Kat]] club. Come on, join us.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Thanks, compadre. I'm... I'm not in the mood.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': We will cheer you up! Find you a nice burro! ''[a roar is heard]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[delighted]'' Hey, baby! ''[the Dragon from the [[Shrek|first film]] flies in the scene.]'' Hey, that's my girl! Yeah! All right! Baby, where you been? ''[Dragon cries]'' I’m sorry, too. I should've stayed. But Shrek had this thing he had to do. What? Say it one more time. What you talking about? Are you serious? ''[a baby dronkey flies in]''<br />
:'''Dronkey''': Papa!<br />
:'''Donkey''': '''''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!''''' ''[One breathes fire which Donkey avoids, the baby dronkeys fly in to hug him. Donkey laughs.]'' Look at our little mutant babies! ''[the Dragon blows a pink heart-shaped smoke, the scene cuts to black.]'' I gotta get a job.<br />
<br />
==''Far Far Away Idol''==<br />
:'''[[Simon Cowell]]''': You're on fire, Donkey.<br />
:'''Shrek''': No, you're really on fire!<br />
----<br />
:'''Simon Cowell''': Come on, get real, Pinocchio.<br />
:'''Shrek''': I find his performance quite wooden, actually. ''[laughs]'' Wooden.<br />
----<br />
:'''Simon Cowell''': ''[as Fiona plants a floor trap on Prince Charming while Shrek holds the red button]'' That's the artist formally known as Prince Charming.<br />
----<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[watching Gingy & Tinker Bell dance and form a tune to The Archies "Sugar"]'' They're so sweet together.<br />
:'''Simon Cowell''': I just knew you'd say that, Fiona. ''[groans]'' What's next, a singing donut?<br />
----<br />
:'''Simon Cowell''': The cat's got my tongue, and possibly my vote. ''[notices Shrek and Fiona are not in their seats]'' Ugh. Always breaking the rules!<br />
----<br />
:''[after voting]''<br />
:'''Simon Cowell''': And the next ''Far, Far Away Idol'' is...<br>''[selecting Pinocchio]'' No, you got to be joking.<br>''[selecting Doris]'' Sorry, that is complete rubbish.<br>''[selecting Big Bad Wolf]'' Impossible, I won't allow it!<br>''[selecting Prince Charming]'' Please, I don't think so!<br>''[selecting Three Blind Mice]'' Sorry, I'm afraid you chose wrong.<br>''[selecting Gingy]'' Ugh, now you're being ridiculous!<br>''[selecting Captain Hook]'' That is just wrong!<br>''[throws away the note]'' Nope! It's me, everyone! ''[sings "My Way" by Frank Sinatra as Shrek and his friends cheer]''<br />
:'''Magic Mirror''': Ladies and gentlemen, our time is up here; but we'll look forward to see you next time on ''Far, Far Away Idol''!<br />
<br />
==Cast==<br />
* '''[[w:Mike Myers|Mike Myers]]''' — [[w:Shrek (character)|Shrek]] (speaking voice)<br />
** '''[[w:Michael Gough|Michael Gough]]''' – [[w:Shrek (character)|Shrek]] (singing voice)<br />
* '''[[Eddie Murphy]]''' — [[w:Donkey (Shrek)|Donkey]]<br />
* '''[[Cameron Diaz]]''' — [[w:Princess Fiona|Princess Fiona]]<br />
* '''[[Julie Andrews]]''' — Queen Lillian<br />
* '''[[w:Antonio Banderas|Antonio Banderas]]''' — [[w:Puss in Boots (Shrek)|Puss in Boots]]<br />
* '''[[John Cleese]]''' — King Harold<br />
* '''[[Rupert Everett]]''' — Prince Charming<br />
* '''[[w:Jennifer Saunders|Jennifer Saunders]]''' — [[w:Fairy Godmother (Shrek)|The Fairy Godmother]]<br />
* '''[[Frank Welker]]''' — [[w:Dragon (Shrek)|Dragon]], Dronkeys<br />
* '''[[w:Aron Warner|Aron Warner]]''' — Big Bad Wolf<br />
* '''[[w:Cody Cameron|Cody Cameron]]''' — Pinocchio, Three Pigs<br />
* '''[[w:Conrad Vernon|Conrad Vernon]]''' — Gingy, Muffin Man, Mongo<br />
* '''[[w:Christopher Knights|Chris Knights]]''' — Blind Mouse<br />
* '''[[Larry King]]''' — Doris the Ugly Stepsister<br />
* '''[[w:Chris Miller (animator)|Chris Miller]]''' — Magic Mirror<br />
* '''[[Joan Rivers|Joan Rivers — Herself]]'''<br />
<br />
== See also ==<br />
* ''[[Shrek]]'', a 2001 animated film.<br />
* ''[[Shrek the Third|Shrek 3]]'', the 2007 third film.<br />
* ''[[Shrek Forever After|Shrek 4]]'', the 2010 fourth film.<br />
* ''[[Puss in Boots (2011 film)|Puss in Boots]]'', a 2011 spin-off animated film.<br />
* ''[[Puss in Boots: The Last Wish|Puss in Boots 2: The Last Wish]]'', a 2022 sequel<br />
<br />
==Taglines==<br />
* In Summer 2004, They're Back for More.<br />
* Once Upon Another Time...<br />
* Not So Far, Far Away.<br />
<br />
== External links ==<br />
{{wikipedia}}<br />
* {{IMDb title|id=0298148|title=Shrek 2}}<br />
<br />
{{Shrek}}<br />
<br />
{{Authority control}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:2004 computer-animated films]]<br />
[[Category:2004 American animated films]]<br />
[[Category:2000s American animated films]]<br />
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]<br />
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]<br />
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]<br />
[[Category:American sequel films]]<br />
[[Category:Shrek]]<br />
[[Category:Screenplays by Joe Stillman]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films about royalty]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films set in castles]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films set in the Middle Ages]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films about dragons]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films about cats]]<br />
[[Category:Films about princes]]<br />
[[Category:Animated buddy films]]<br />
[[Category:Fairy films]]<br />
[[Category:Films directed by Conrad Vernon]]<br />
[[Category:2000s English-language films]]<br />
[[Category:Films about potions]]<br />
[[Category:Films directed by Andrew Adamson]]<br />
[[Category:Films directed by Kelly Asbury]]</div>~2026-44937-18https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=The_Swan_Princess&diff=3990165The Swan Princess2026-08-17T21:31:56Z<p>~2026-44937-18: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
<div>'''''[[:w:The Swan Princess|The Swan Princess]]''''' is a 1994 American-Russian animated fantasy musical film based on the ballet "{{w|Swan Lake}}".<br />
: ''Directed by [[w:Richard Rich (filmmaker)|Richard Rich]]. Screenplay by Brian Nissen. Story by Richard Rich and Brian Nissen. Based on the ballet "[[w:Swan Lake|Swan Lake]]" by [[w:Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky|Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky]]. Songs by [[w:David Zippel|David Zippel]] and [[w:Lex de Azevedo|Lex de Azevedo]]. Score by Lex de Azevedo.''<br />
{{center|'''An Enchanting Classic Destined to Capture Your Heart and Free Your Spirit.''' }}<br />
<br />
== Dialogue ==<br />
:''[First lines]''<br />
:'''Narrator''': Once upon a time, there was a king named William...who ruled a large and mighty kingdom...and yet, he was sad...for he was growing old and had no child to inherit the throne. Then, happily, a daughter was born...a princess...and she was given the name Odette. [cheers and crowds] Kings and queens came from all around to offer the gifts to the child. Among them was the widow Uberta and her young son Prince Derek. It was then that William and Uberta happened upon the same idea. Derek and Odette will be brought together each summer in hopes that they will fall in love and join their kingdoms forever. But unknown to all was another plan. That of the evil man named Enchanter Sorcerer Rothbart. Odette's birth was of little concern to him...for he was preparing to take William's kingdom, by means of the forbidden arts. On the eve of his assault, William attacked...and Rothbart's powers were plunged into darkness. Despite calls for his death...the enchanter was only banished.<br />
:'''Rothbart''': ''[his first words]'' I'm not finished with you yet, Willie. Someday, I'll get my power back. And when I do, everything you own...everything you love, will be mine. <br />
:''[Rothbart leaves while King William angrily stares on.]''<br />
:'''Narrator''': Many feared King William too kind. But in time, the threat was forgotten...and all hopes turned to that not so distant summer...when Derek and Odette would meet.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Derek''': ''[to everyone]'' Arrange the marriage!<br />
:''[Everyone cheers]''<br />
:'''Odette''': Wait!<br />
:''[Everyone stops]''<br />
:'''Derek:''' What? You're all I ever wanted. You're beautiful!<br />
:'''Odette:''' Oh, thank you. But what else?<br />
:'''Derek:''' What else?<br />
:'''Odette:''' Is beauty all that matters to you?:<br />
:'''Queen Uberta:''' Derek, what else?<br />
:'''Derek:''' ''[stammers; to Odette]'' What else is there?<br />
:''[Rogers imitates a buzzer and gives a thumbs down. Queen Uberta begins to cry. King William gives Derek a shocked look and she looks at King William with a horrified look on her face and Odette looks away sadly. The next day, King William and Odette prepared to leave]''<br />
:'''King William''': We tried, Uberta. No one can say we didn't try. ''[Uberta continues cries. He turns to Odette]'' Say goodbye, Odette.<br />
:'''Odette''': ''[to Derek, sadly]'' Goodbye.<br />
:'''King William''': "Goodbye"?<br />
:'''Odette''': ''[sighs]'' Prince Derek.<br />
:''[Queen Uberta urges Derek]''<br />
:'''Derek''': Mother.<br />
:'''Queen Uberta''': Derek.<br />
:'''Derek''': ''[to Odette]'' Goodbye, Princess.<br />
:''[King William and Odette leave]''<br />
:'''Queen Uberta''': All these years of planning...'''''WASTED!!!'''''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"><br />
:'''Rogers''': What else is there?! She says, "Is beauty all that matters?", and you say, "What else is there?"!<br />
:'''Prince Derek''': It was dumb. I know!<br />
:'''Rogers''': You should write a book: How To Offend Women In Five Syllables Or Less. <br />
:'''Bromley''': Your turn.<br />
:'''Prince Derek''': I didn't know what else to say.<br />
:'''Bromley''': ''[cheating at chess, takes Derek's queen]'' You lost your queen, Derek!<br />
:'''Prince Derek''': That's twice in one day!<br />
:'''Rogers''': Think. You must see something other than Odette's beauty.<br />
:'''Prince Derek''': Of course I do, Rogers! She's...you know. And then...it's like...I mean, right?<br />
:''[Lord Rogers rolls his eyes]''<br />
:'''Prince Derek''': Aw, I don't know how to say it! ''[drums his fingers on the chessboard]'' I know. I'll prove it to her. I'll prove my love! ''[with that said, he lifts his rook and moves it across the board]'' Checkmate!<br />
:''[Bromley's jaw hangs open. Meanwhile, miles apart, in a dark, secluded forest, a white-bearded man waits behind an oak tree. His eyes are trained on King William's caravan, plodding slowly along the mud-soaked trail]''<br />
:'''Rothbart''': Today's the day, Willie. Everything you own, everything you love, will be mine! ''[steps apart from the tree, into the path of the approaching caravan as it starts raining]''<br />
:''[Inside the royal carriage]''<br />
:'''King William''': ''[shakes his head mournfully]'' I just don't understand. What else did you want him to say?<br />
:'''Odette''': I need to know that he loves me.<br />
:''[The horses neigh and buck, and the carriage lurches to a stop]''<br />
:'''King William''': What on earth? ''[turns the door handle and steps out. Beyond the horses, a caped man is blocking the path. Although the man is in silhouette, he recognizes Rothbart]'' Stay inside, Odette. ''[He steps forward]''<br />
:''[His guards move to encircle Rothbart, spears drawn. Rothbart opens his arms. A transformation into the bat. Shielding their eyes, the King and his guards step backward. Before they stand a tremendous, hideous animal, the Bat attacks. Later, King William's captain collapses at the doorway. Derek, Bromley, and Rogers run to his side]''<br />
:'''Derek''': ''[recognizes him]'' It's King William's captain!<br />
:'''King William's Captain''': We were attacked. A Great Animal. ''[faints]''<br />
:'''Derek''': ''[shocked]'' Odette. ''[takes off]''<br />
:'''Rogers''': Derek! Wait!<br />
:''[Derek rides his horse out of his castle, and into the woods]<br />
:'''Derek''': Odette! ''[dismounts and checks the abandoned carriage]'' Odette?! Odette! ''[finds Odette's locket, picks it up, and finds King William unconscious on the ground]'' King William.<br />
:'''King William''': ''[weakly]'' Derek...<br />
:'''Derek''': Who did this?<br />
:'''King William''': It came so quickly. A great animal.<br />
:'''Derek''': Where is Odette?<br />
:'''King William''': Listen to me, Derek, it's not what it seems. It's not what it seems.<br />
:'''Derek''': What's not? Where is Odette?!<br />
:'''King William''': ''[his last words]'' Odette is...Odette...is gone. ''[He dies]''<br />
:'''Derek''': ''[became shocked]'' '''''ODETTE!!!!!!'''''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"><br />
:'''Rothbart''': ''[to Odette, after kidnapping her and turns her into a swan]'' Once you steal something, you spend your whole life fighting to keep it.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"><br />
:'''Prince Derek''': ''[ready for target practice]'' The Great Animal's never gonna give her up without a fight.<br />
:'''Rogers''': You're not still thinking she's alive?<br />
:'''Prince Derek''': When I find the Great Animal, Rogers, I'll find Odette.<br />
:'''Rogers''': Oh, Derek. You've looked everywhere. She's not coming back. The whole kingdom knows that.<br />
:'''Prince Derek''': The whole kingdom's wrong! Odette's alive, and I'm gonna find her. You ready, Brom?<br />
:''[Bromley lifts up his blindfold]''<br />
:'''Rogers''': No peeking. ''[Bromley lowers his blindfold and stands at attention]'' Animals, assemble!<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Rogers''': 52 out of 52! Well done, Derek!<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"><br />
:'''Odette:''' You're being sneaky again, Jean-Bob!<br />
:'''Jean-Bob:''' What sneaky? You deserve a nice bouquet!<br />
:'''Odette:''' And you deserve a kiss.<br />
:'''Jean-Bob:''' Well, all right! ''[puckers up]'' <br />
:'''Odette:''' You know I'm under a spell! <br />
:'''Jean-Bob:''' But my kiss would break ze spell! <br />
:'''Speed:''' Give it up, Jean-Bob. <br />
:'''Odette:''' I can only kiss the man I love, and then he... <br />
:'''Jean-Bob:''' Must make a vow of "everlasting love". I know - ! <br />
:'''Odette:''' And prove it to the world! <br />
:'''Jean-Bob:''' WHAT do you think I was doing with ze flowers and ze alligators going "CHOMP CHOMP"? <br />
:'''Odette:''' Speed, make him understand.<br />
:'''Speed:''' I'm only a turtle. <br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"><br />
:'''Odette''': Every night you ask the same question.<br />
:'''Rothbart''': No! No!<br />
:'''Odette''': And every night I give you the same answer... <br />
:'''Rothbart''': DON'T! <br />
:'''Odette''': ...I'll die first. <br />
:'''Rothbart''': You know... you are really starting to bug me! <br />
:'''Odette''': I would think you'd be use to it by now.<br />
:'''Rothbart''': THAT'S IT! Just keep pushing it! But someday I'm gonna '''''BOIL OVER!'''''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"><br />
:'''Jean-Bob''': Whenever I have to do something in a hurry, I'll always bring a turtle.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"><br />
:'''Rogers''': Think, you must see something other than Odette's beauty.<br />
:'''Prince Derek:''' Of course I do, Rogers. She's like...You know! How about...And then...Am I right?<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"><br />
:'''Puffin''': Me name is Puffin. Lt. Puffin. <br />
:'''Odette''': It's a pleasure, Lt. Puffin. I'm Odette. Princess Odette. ''[Puffin kisses her hand]'' And these are my best friends in the whole world: Mr. Lorenzo Trudgealong... <br />
:'''Speed''': Friends call me Speed. <br />
:'''Odette''': ...and Jean-Bob. <br />
:'''Jean-Bob''': I have no friends. Only servants. And they call me "your highness". <br />
:'''Speed''': ''[whispers to Puffin]'' Thinks he's a prince.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"><br />
:'''Queen Uberta''': Just make sure you're here tomorrow night.<br />
:'''Derek''': Tomorrow night?<br />
:'''Queen Uberta''': The ball.<br />
:'''Derek''': Mother, I can't. ''[Queen Uberta blubbers and sputters]'' Please, Mother. Don't do the lip thing. ''[giving in]'' If I leave now, maybe I can be back in time.<br />
:'''Queen Uberta''': ''[cheers]'' Thank you, darling! ''[laufhs]''<br />
:'''Prince Derek''': But please, Mother! Don't turn it into one of your beauty pageants! <br />
:'''Queen Uberta''': Oh! No, no, no, no, no! It's just a few friends...And, their daughters... ''[as Derek leaves is out of earshot; to Chamberlain]'' I want this to be big. Every princesses must have their own introductions!<br />
:'''Chamberlain''': ''[shocked]'' But you said...<br />
:'''Queen Uberta''': Forget what I said! Now, send for the cooks, and tell the band to start rehearsing! And I want four footmen for every carriage! ''[giggles]'' Maybe five!<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"><br />
:'''Speed''': I think I pulled a muscle. <br />
:'''Jean-Bob''': I'm gonna die! I know it! I'm on a mission with a lame turtle!<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"><br />
:'''Odette''': ''[dying from Rothbart's curse]'' Derek...I-I feel so weak...I think...I'm... <br />
:'''Prince Derek''': No. You'll live, Odette. The vow I made was for ''you''.<br />
:'''Odette''': I know. I love you, Derek. ''[She dies]''<br />
:'''Prince Derek''': Odette? Odette! ''[breaks down in grief and fury]'' I made the vow for ''her''. Do you hear?! '''''THE VOW I MADE WAS FOR HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!'''''<br />
:'''Rothbart:''' ''[appears behind Derek]'' No need to shout!<br />
:'''Derek''': ''[enraged, turns around and confronts Rothbart]'' '''Don't let her die.'''<br />
:'''Rothbart''': Is that a threat? <br />
:'''Prince Derek''': '''Don't ''you'' dare let her die!'''<br />
:'''Rothbart''': ''[mockingly]'' Oh, it ''is'' a threat. <br />
:'''Prince Derek''': '''You're the only one with the power! NOW''' '''''DO IT!'''''<br />
:'''Rothbart''': ''[his last words]'' '''Only if you defeat''' '''''me!''''' ''[He transformation into the bat]''<br />
:'''Derek''': ''[stares in shock]'' The Great Animal!<br />
:''[The Bat roars]''<br />
:'''Jean Bob''': ''[to Puffin and Speed as all three look on in terror]'' I'm betting on ze animal...<br />
<hr width="50%"><br />
:''[Last lines]''<br />
:'''Princess Odette''': Will you love me, Derek? Until the day I die? <br />
:'''Prince Derek''': No. Much longer than that, Odette. ''Much'' longer.<br />
:''[They kiss]''<br />
<br />
== Voice cast ==<br />
* [[w:Michelle Nicastro|Michelle Nicastro]] as Princess Odette<br />
** [[w:Liz Callaway|Michelle Nicastro]] as Princess Odette (singing voice)<br />
** Adrian Zahiri as Young Princess Odette<br />
* [[w:Howard McGillin|Howard McGillin]] as Prince Derek<br />
** [[w:Adam Wylie|Adam Wylie]] as Young Prince Derek<br />
* [[w:Jack Palance|Jack Palance]] as Sir Rothbart<br />
** [[w:Lex de Azevedo|Lex de Azevedo]] as Sir Rothbart (singing voice)<br />
* [[w:John Cleese|John Cleese]] as Jean-Bob<br />
** [[w:David Zippel|David Zippel]] as Jean-Bob (singing voice)<br />
* [[w:Steven Wright|Steven Wright]] as Lorenzo "Speed" Trudgealong<br />
** [[w:Jonathan Hadary|Jonathan Hadary]] as Speed (singing voice)<br />
* [[w:Steve Vinovich|Steve Vinovich]] as [[w:Lieutenant|Lieutenant]]/[[w:General|General]] [[w:Puffin|Puffin]]<br />
* [[w:Sandy Duncan|Steve Vinovich]] as Queen Uberta<br />
* [[w:James Arrington|James Arrington]] as Sir Chamberlain<br />
** [[w:Davis Gaines|Davis Gaines]] as Sir Chamberlain (singing voice)<br />
* [[w:Dakin Matthews|Dakin Matthews]] as King William<br />
* [[w:Mark Harelik|Mark Harelik]] as Lord Rogers<br />
* [[w:Joel McKinnon Miller|Joel McKinnon Miller]] as Bromley<br />
* Brian Nissen as the Narrator<br />
* [[w:Tom Alan Robbins|Tom Alan Robbins]] as a flute-playing musician<br />
* Bess Hopper as Bridget<br />
<br />
== External links ==<br />
{{wikipedia}}<br />
<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:Swan Princess, The}}<br />
[[Category:1994 American animated films]]<br />
[[Category:Traditionally animated films]]<br />
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]<br />
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]<br />
[[Category:American children's animated drama films]]<br />
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]<br />
[[Category:American children's animated musical films]]<br />
[[Category:Films set in castles]]<br />
[[Category:Films set in the Middle Ages]]<br />
[[Category:Films directed by Richard Rich]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films about shapeshifting]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films about turtles]]<br />
[[Category:American romantic comedy-drama films]]</div>~2026-44937-18https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=One_Hundred_and_One_Dalmatians&diff=3990132One Hundred and One Dalmatians2026-08-17T20:38:58Z<p>~2026-44937-18: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{italic title}}<br />
'''''[[w:One Hundred and One Dalmatians|One Hundred and One Dalmatians]]''''', otherwise known as simply '''''Dalmatians''''' or '''''One Hundred and One''''' and spelled "'''''101 Dalmatians'''''" or "'''''101'''''" for short, is a 1961 American [[w:Walt Disney Pictures|Walt Disney Productions]] animated film. <br />
:''Directed by [[w:Wolfgang Reitherman|Wolfgang Reitherman]], [[w:Hamilton Luske|Hamilton Luske]] and [[w:Clyde Geronimi|Clyde Geronimi]]. Writtenn by [[w:Bill Peet|Bill Peet]] (uncredited), based on the novel by [[Dodie Smith]].''<br />
{{center|'''The Canine Caper of the Century.'''<small> ([[#Taglines|taglines]])</small>}}<br />
<br />
== Pongo ==<br />
* Perdy, we'll take them home with us. All of them. Our pets would never turn them out.<br />
<br />
== Anita Radcliffe ==<br />
* Oh, it'll bet at least three weeks. ''[chuckling]'' No rushing these things, you know?<br />
* Oh, Cruella...<br />
<br />
== Jasper Badun ==<br />
* Oi, look, Horace! Watch me pot His Lordship smack on the conk! ''[throws a dart, hitting a picture of a relative of Cruella right in the nose; laughs]'' How's that for callin' em, eh?!<br />
* I'll skin every one of them little spotted hyenas if it's the last thing I do!<br />
* Outta my way, ya barkin' haystack, or I'll knock your blinkin' block off!<br />
* ''[to Horace while closing in on the moving van]'' See, nothing to it! I'll give 'em a bit of a nudge, AND SHOVE 'EM IN THE DITCH! ''[cackles]''<br />
* Ah, shaddup!<br />
<br />
== Other ==<br />
* '''Anita Radcliffe''': ''[humming, chuckling]'' Such a clever, lyrics.<br />
* '''Roger Radcliffe''': ''[chuckling]'' Melody first, my darling. And then, the lyrics, hmm?<br />
* '''The Colonel''': By Jove, yes! So, it is. Well, she what you want.<br />
* '''Horace Badun''': Oh, no you don't, Jasper! ''I'll'' pop 'em on the head and ''you'' do the skinnin'!<br />
* '''The Truck driver''': ''[to Cruella de Vil as she rams his vehicle]'' Hey, lady! What in thunder are you trying to do?! ''[to himself, muttering]'' Crazy woman driver!<br />
<br />
== Dialogue ==<br />
:''[First lines, The movie opens on the skyline of a neighborhood in London and pans down to focus on Pongo, and his human pet, Roger Radcliffe, living inside their flat]''.<br />
:'''Pongo''': ''[narrating]'' My story begins in London, not so very long ago. And yet so much has happened since then, that it seems like an eternity. At that time, I lived with my pet in a bachelor flat just off of Regents Park. It was a beautiful spring day, a tedious time of the year for bachelors. Oh, that’s my pet, Roger Radcliffe, a musician of sorts. I’m the one with the spots. My name is Pongo. And you know... as far as I could see, the old notion that a bachelor’s life was so glamorous and carefree was all nonsense. It was downright dull. ''[leans up on all fours and stretches while yawning. He watches Roger smoke his pipe and continue practicing, as we then see Roger's living room with discarded music notes across the chair and floor and a cello in one of the seats]'' It was plain to see that my old pet needed someone. But if it were left up to Roger, we’d be bachelors forever. He was married to his work, writing songs. Songs about romance of all things, something he knew absolutely nothing about. Oh, he’s intelligent enough, as humans go. And I think you could say, Roger is a rather handsome animal in his way. I could see no reason why my pet didn’t deserve an attractive mate. At least I was determined to do my best. Of course, dogs are a pretty poor judge of human beauty. But I had a rough idea of what to look for. ''[sees a shaggy saluki and her beatnik human pet walk to the park]'' Hmm! Unusual breed. Very unusual. Hmm! Oh, surely not. ''[sees a small, stout pug and her similarly dignified human pet walk the opposite direction]'' Well now, what have we here? Hmm. Well, a little too short coupled. Nope! ''[A purple-colored poodle with black-haired bangs and her sophisticated owner pass by]'' I say! Well, I do say! Now there’s a fancy breed. Hmm. Perhaps a little too fancy. Yes, much too fancy. ''[A cocker spaniel and her elderly owner ride along on their bicycle]'' Too old. ''[A little girl in yellow and her yellow labrador puppy walk down the street]'' Too young. It was a problem, a real problem. Well, now that’s a bit more like it! ''[sees their ideal wives: An identical Dalmatian with a blue collar named Perdita and her human owner, Anita]'' The most beautiful creature on four legs! Now, if only the girl-Well! She’s very lovely too. It was almost too good to be true. I’d never find another pair like that, not if I looked for 100 years. Ah, they’re heading for the park. A perfect meeting place if I can only arrange it. Uh-oh, but Roger never stopped work ‘til after 5:00. That would be too late. ''[sets the clock hands five minutes after 5:00 with his nose]''<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Rushes to Roger's study and Prances and Barks at Roger to get his attention]''<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': After 5:00 already? Fancy that. ''[puts on his trench coat and trilby hat]'' All right, Pongo. All right, boy. ''[As soon as Roger puts the leash on Pongo, he takes off, heaving Roger through the front door. The scene slides away to see them traveling quickly through Regent's Park.]'' Pongo, boy, take it easy! What’s all the hurry? Pongo, boy, slow down.<br />
:'''Pongo''': ''[looks around the area and sees the pug from recently barking at a few pigeons to chase them away. The, the two bachelors. cross a bridge past the saluki and her master painting this scene of the park, narrating]'' I was afraid we’d missed them. Perhaps they passed on by the park. Then, suddenly… I spotted them. It was a perfect situation if I planned it right. I couldn’t depend on Roger. I knew what he’d do. He’d settle on the grass, puff his pipe and that would be it. No, it was all up to me. Well. At first I had no particular plan, just anything to attract attention. You know, stir things up a bit. ''[goes ahead and grabs Roger's hat]''<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': Pongo, you silly old thing! C’mon! C’mon, let’s have it, boy. Pongo! Pongo!<br />
:''[Perdita and Anita look at Roger and Pongo fooling around with little amusement, as Roger retrieves his hat]''<br />
:'''Pongo''': ''[narrating]'' For a while, it seemed to work. At least they had seen one another. Things were going along first-rate. But, for some strange reason, they left!<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': ''[pounces on Pongo to stop him]'' C’mon, you old renegade. We’re going home.<br />
:'''Pongo''': ''[narrating]'' But I wasn’t giving up. I was determined that somehow they just had to meet. ''[heaves Roger and forces him to meet Anita just in time]''<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': Oh!<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': Ohhh!<br />
:'''Roger''': I beg your pardon. Please excuse me.<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': I must say, what on earth! Oh, really. Good heavens.<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': Oh, dear!<br />
:''[Pongo is overly focused on his goal, that he accidentally ties their legs up with his leash. Perdita becomes alarmed at this and tries to free her mistress by holding onto her coat with her teeth, only to make things worse. Perdita accidentally rips off part of her mistress' coat, as Roger and Anita lose their balance and land into a nearby pond.]''<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': Oh, oh.<br />
:'''Anita''': Oh, my new spring suit and my new hat!<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': ''[helps Anita]'' I’m terribly sorry. Please let me help you. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what’s come over him. I’m so sorry. He’s never acted this way before.<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': ''[annoyed]'' Please, just go away! You’ve done enough. Please?<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': Oh. Oh, I say. Here, take mine.<br />
:''[Anita and Roger share a laugh, as Perdita looks at Pongo lovingly. Pongo's plan of getting Roger to meet Anita works, as an iris shines on him, which turns into a stained glass cathedral window. Both couples are now at the church getting married]''<br />
:'''Priest''': Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honour and keep her in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her so long as ye both shall live?<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': I will.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Pongo''': ''[narrating]'' For the first six months and so… we lived in a small house near the park. A modest little place, but just right for two couples who were just starting out.<br />
:''[Pongo and Perdita are snuggling on the windowsill. Perdita sighs lovingly until Pongo wakes up to ask a question to her]''<br />
:'''Pongo''': Perdita, darling, are you all right?<br />
:'''Perdita''': Oh, of course, dear. After all, dogs were having puppies long before our time. ''[licks Pongo on the face to reassure him, as a smile runs across his face]''<br />
:''[Just then, Nanny, Roger and Anita's housekeeper, enters with a platter with cupcakes, a tea pot, and tea cups on it]''<br />
:'''Pongo''': ''[narrating]'' Oh, that’s Nanny, a wonderful cook and housekeeper. She’s such a kind, understanding soul. You know, at times she seems almost canine.<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': Roger, dear, tea time. Tea time!<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': ''[singing]'' Be down in a minute. ''[comes out of his study, scatting and whistling to the lyrics of the song]'' Do you like my new song?<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': ''[scatting as well]'' Such clever lyrics.<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': Melody first, my dear. And then, the lyrics, hmm?<br />
:''[Roger and Anita rub noses and share a good laugh.]''<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[As Pongo and Perdita rest their heads on the windowsill, they hear a car coming]''<br />
:'''Perdita''': ''[scared]'' Oh, Pongo… it’s her. It’s that devil woman.<br />
:''[The car, a red-colored Alvis Speed 20 SD Standard Coupe-like model with headlights and bumpers that resemble a scowling face, rockets down the street, blaring its horn, and scares a flock of pigeons while turning a sharp left. Perdita runs away to hide, but Pongo sits there, boldly. The car comes to a sharp, complete stop by their flat]''<br />
:'''Roder Radcliffe''': Oh, must be Cruella, your dearly devoted old schoolmate. Cruella de Vil. That’s it! ♪Cruella de Vil, Cruella de Vil, If she doesn't scare you, No evil thing will... To see her is to, Take a sudden... chill! Cruella, Cruella de Vil. The curl of her lips, the ice in her stare. All innocent children had better beware. She's like a spider waiting, For the kill... Look out for Cruella de Vil!♪<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': Oh, Roger. Ohh! Roger, she’ll hear you! Let her in, Nanny.<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': ''[first words bursts through the door]'' Anita, darling!<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': How are you?<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': ''[gleefully]'' Miserable, darling, as usual. Perfectly wretched! Where are they? Where are they? For heaven sakes, where are they?<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': Who, Cruella?<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': The puppies! The puppies. No time for games. Where are the little brutes?<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': It’ll be at least three weeks. No rushing these things.<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': Anita, you’re such a wit. Here, dog, here. Here, dog.<br />
:'''Pongo''': ''[angrily growls at Cruella]''<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': Cruella, isn’t that a new fur coat?<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': My only true love, darling. I live for furs. I worship furs! Is there a woman in this wretched world who doesn’t?<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': Oh, I’d like a nice fur, but there are many other things…<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': Sweet, simple Anita. I know, I know! This horrid little house is your dream castle... ''[walks over to the coffee table and rudely sticks her cigarette in one of the cupcakes, ruining the frosting]'' And poor Roger is your bold and fearless Sir Galahad! ''[bursts out laughing]''<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': Oh, Cruella...<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': Then, of course, you have your little spotted friends. Oh, yes, I must say, such perfectly beautiful coats.<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': Won’t you have some tea?<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': I’ve got to run. Let me know when the puppies arrive. You will, won’t you, dear?<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': Yes, Cruella.<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': Don’t forget, it’s a promise. See you in three weeks. Cheerio, darling. ''[shuts door]''<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': Ohh!<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': ♪At first you think, Cruella is the devil. But after time has worn, Away the shock... You come to realize, You've seen her kind of eyes, Watching you from underneath, A rock! This vampire bat, This inhuman beast, She ought to be locked up, And never released, The world was such, A wholesome place until, Cruella, Cruella de Vil!♪<br />
:''[Roger and Anita embrace as they rub each other's noses]''<br />
:'''Anita Radclife''': Roger, you are an idiot!<br />
:'''Pongo''': ''[goes to the kitchen and sees Perdita hiding under the stove]'' Perdy?<br />
:'''Perdita''': That witch. That devil woman. She wants our puppies. That’s all she’s after.<br />
:'''Pongo''': Don’t worry, Perdy. They’re on to her. Nothing’s going to happen to our puppies.<br />
:'''Perdita''': But, what does she want with them? She can’t possibly love them. Oh, Pongo. I was so happy at first, but now I… ''[tears up]'' Oh, I… I wish we weren’t having any. ''[sobs]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[A few weeks later in October, a thunderstorm has appeared over the neighborhood in London. Rain pours down, lightning bolts flash, and thunder roars]''<br />
:'''Pongo''': ''[narrating]'' Poor Perdita. Of course, she had no choice. The puppies arrived right on schedule one wild and stormy night in October.<br />
:''[Roger and Pongo sit in the kitchen, waiting for any word about the puppies' birth, as the clock is ticking on the wall nearby. Roger puffs nervously on his pipe, while Pongo waits for the door to open, which it does when Nanny comes in. Pongo is looking forward to the latest update, but he frowns when he sees Nanny come and collect a cloth, and she then leaves to go back to check on Perdita, closing the door behind her. Pongo turns to Roger, still puffing nervously on his pipe, and licks his hand]''<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': ''[yelps]'' Steady, boy. ''[pats Pongo's head]''<br />
:''[After a minute or two of waiting, Nanny bursts in, scaring them both as Pongo leaps into Roger's arms]''<br />
:'''Nanny''': ''[excitedly tells them]'' The puppies are here! Oh… the puppies are here!<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': How many?<br />
:'''Nanny''': 1.<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': 1 puppy.<br />
:'''Nanny''': 2.<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': 2 puppies.<br />
:'''Nanny''': 3.<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': 3 puppies<br />
:'''Nanny''': 4.<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': 4 puppies<br />
:'''Nanny''': 5.<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': 5 puppies.<br />
:'''Nanny''': 6.<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': 6 puppies.<br />
:'''Nanny''': 7.<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': 7 puppies<br />
:'''Nanny''': 8.<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': 8? By George, Pongo! 8 puppies.<br />
:'''Nanny''': 9.<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': 9 puppies<br />
:'''Nanny''': 10.<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': 10 puppies.<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': 11.<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe:''' 11? 11 puppies, Pongo, boy.<br />
:'''Nanny''': Wait a minute now, wait a minute… 12!<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': 12?<br />
:'''Nanny''': 13! <br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': 13?<br />
:'''Nanny''': No, no, no. 14. <br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': 14?<br />
:'''Nanny''': Ohh… 15!<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': 15?<br />
:'''Nanny''': And the mother’s doing fine, love. You ducky thing, you.<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': 15 puppies? Why, Pongo, that’s marvelous! It’s fabulous! Why, you old rascal!<br />
:'''Nanny''': ''[returns with a grim expression on her face as she holds one of the puppies being stillborn in a blanket]'' 14. Just 14. We lost one. ''[gives the stillborn puppy to Roger, as Pongo looks on with grief. Roger massages his hand on the puppy]'' Oh, poor little thing.<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': Oh, Pongo, boy. It’s just one of those things. And yet… And yet, I wonder. ''[Slowly but surely, the puppy regains consciousness as it whimpers, fascinating Pongo for the better. A miracle has been made by Roger]'' Look, Pongo. Anita! Nanny. Fifteen! We still have 15!<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': Oh, Roger, he’s all right! Thank heavens!<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': ''[gives Lucky to Nanny]'' See? He’s just as good as new.<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': Can you imagine, Roger? 15 puppies!<br />
:''[A lightning bolt strikes, scaring Pongo, Roger, Anita, Nanny, and Lucky, and also allowing Cruella to drop in, unexpectedly!]''<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': 15. 15 puppies. How marvelous. How marvelous. How perfectly… Ugh! ''[looks at Lucky with repulsion]'' Oh, the devil take it. They’re mongrels; no spots! No spots at all! What a horrid, little white rat! Ugh! <br />
:'''Nanny''': They’re not mongrels! They’ll get their spots! Just wait and see!<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': That’s right, Cruella. They’ll have their spots in a few weeks.<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': Oh, well, in that case I’ll take them all. The whole litter. Just name your price, dear.<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': I’m afraid we can’t give them up. Poor Perdita, she’d be heartbroken.<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': Anita, don’t be ridiculous. You can’t afford to keep them. You can scarcely feed yourselves.<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': I’m sure we’ll get along.<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': Yes, I know. I know! Roger’s… Roger’s songs! ''[evilly breaks into another laugh riot, as Roger and Pongo glare at her]'' Enough of this nonsense. I’ll pay you twice what they’re worth. Come now, I’m being more than generous. ''[she tries to sign, but her pen isn't working]'' Blast this pen! '''<big>BLAST THIS WRETCHED, WRETCHED PEN!</big>''' ''[Cruella shakes her pen, causing ink to fall off, and eventually squirting it on Roger and Pongo's faces]'' When can the puppies leave their mother? Two weeks? Three weeks?<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': Never.<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': What?<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': ''[nervously, but standing his ground]'' We're not selling the puppies. Not a single one. Do you understand?<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': Anita, is he serious? I really don't know Roger.<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': Well, Cruella, he seems-<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': Surely he must be joking.<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': ''[more firmly]'' No, no, no, I mean it. You're not getting one. Not ''one.'' And that's ''final.''<br />
:''[Pongo nods at Cruella de Vil in agreement]''<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': Why, you horrid man! You... you... All right. Keep the little beasts for all I care. ''[angrily rips up the check]'' Do as you like with them! ''Drown'' them! ''[furiously throws the pieces of ripped check paper at Roger]'' But I warn you, Anita, we're through. I'm through with all of you! I'll get even! Just wait! You'll be sorry! You fools! You...'''<big>YOU IDIOTS!</big>''' ''[she angrily slams the door and Pongo barks loudly at her as she drives away]''<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': ''[embracing her husband]'' Oh, Roger! You were magnificent, darling.<br />
:'''Nanny''': Oh, he was a bloomin' hero, ma’am! Indeed he was. A bloomin' hero!<br />
:'''Pongo''': ''[leaves the scene and runs downstairs to meet up with Perdita, who is resting with their newborn puppies]'' Perdy? Perdy, darling? We’re keeping the puppies, every single one of them. My ol’ pet Roger, he told that devil woman off. He told her off, Perdy. She’s gone. Darling, she’s gone for good.<br />
:'''Perdita''': ''[relieved]'' Oh, Pongo...<br />
:''[Pongo and Perdita go to sleep, as their puppies whimper and cuddle by their mother's belly.]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[A few weeks later, the puppies have grown and now have their spots, names, and red and blue-colored collars with their tags, as they watch their favorite TV show with their parents: The Adventures of Thunderbolt! Thunderbolt himself is in hot pursuit of his chief enemy, Dirty Dawson, who shoots his pistol to annihilate Thunder.]''<br />
:'''Freckles''': C’mon, Thunderbolt.<br />
:'''Jewel''': C’mon, Thunderbolt.<br />
:''[Dawson keeps firing at Thunderbolt, who is catching up closer to him.]''<br />
:'''Fidget''': Go get him, Thunder.<br />
:'''Rolly''': ''[barks to root for Thunderbolt]''<br />
:'''Cadpig''': After him, boy.<br />
:'''Patch''': He’ll get that dirty ol’ horse thief.<br />
:'''Jewel''': Old Thunderbolt’s the greatest dog in the whole world.<br />
:'''Patch''': He’s even better than Dad.<br />
:'''Penny''': No dog’s better than Dad.<br />
:'''Freckles''': What’s he going to do, Dad?<br />
:'''Pongo''': Shh, shh. Let’s just wait and see.<br />
:''[Thunderbolt climbs on a rock outcrop to look out for Dirty Dawson, to which Jewel, Dipstick and Whizzer look over the couch arm likewise. They then see Dawson slink past some rocks and behind a cliff wall]''<br />
:'''Two-Tone''': Look at him run, the old coward.<br />
:'''Patch''': That old dirty Dawson! The yellow-livered old skunk! I’d like to tear his gizzard out.<br />
:'''Perdita''': Why, Patch, where did you ever hear such talk? Certainly not from your mother. ''[angrily scowls at Pongo, who smirks back at her]''<br />
:'''Penny''': Watch out, Thunder.<br />
:'''Patch''': Don’t worry, Penny. He’ll get that yellow-livered… Well, he’ll get him, all right.<br />
:'''Two-Tone''': Lucky, get down. We can’t see.<br />
:'''Patch''': Mother, make him get down.<br />
:'''Perdita''': C’mon, Lucky. Down, dear.<br />
:'''Freckles''': Missed him! Missed him by a mile!<br />
:'''Rolly''': I’m hungry, mother. I’m hungry.<br />
:'''Perdita''': Rolly, you’ve just had your dinner.<br />
:'''Rolly''': But I am, just the same. I’m so hungry I could eat… a whole elephant.<br />
:'''Jewel, Dipstick and Whizzer''': Shh!<br />
:'''Patch''': There he is, behind that rock.<br />
:''[The puppies watch with curiosity as Dawson pulls the trigger and blasts Thunderbolt off screen, causing the puppies to hide from the brutality.]''<br />
:'''Dipstick''': Oh, dear. He shot poor Thunder.<br />
:'''Patch''': He missed him. Ol’ Thunder’s pretending… I think. See? What did I tell you? That’s one of his tricks.<br />
:'''Two-Tone''': Lucky, get down.<br />
:'''Dirty Dawson''': We want to go fighting, Thunder.<br />
:'''Lucky''': ''[bolts away from the TV set and barks at Dawson]''<br />
:''[Just as he laughing, Thunderbolt wakes up and fiercely tackles him. The two enemies fight at one another as he falls off a cliff and into a river below. All the puppies bark to cheer their TV hero on.]''<br />
:'''Rolly''': I’m hungry, Mother. I really am.<br />
:''[Before Thunderbolt stands on cliff, the announcer interrupts their program]''<br />
:'''TV Announcer''': Don’t miss next week’s episode. Who will triumph?<br />
:'''Patch''': Ol’ Thunder always wins!<br />
:''[A bust of Thunderbolt barks and appears on a dog biscuit box being held by the TV announcer]''<br />
:'''TV Announcer''': And speaking of champions, friends, Kanine Krunchies is the champion of all dog biscuits.<br />
:'''Kanine Krunchies Chorus''': ♪Kanine Krunchies can’t be beat, They make each meal a special treat, Happy dogs are those who eat nutritious Kanine Krunchies! Kanine Krunchies all contain Selected meat and wholesome grain, Toy Chihuahua and Great Dane All love Kanine Krunchies!♪<br />
:'''Pongo''': Perdy, we better get these little nippers off to bed if we’re going for a w-a-l-k.<br />
:'''Pepper''': We want to go too, Mother.<br />
:'''Jewel''': Can we, Mother? Can we?<br />
:'''Two-Tone''': We never get to go.<br />
:'''Perdita''': Come along, children. Bedtime.<br />
:'''Patch''': But we’re not a bit... ''[yawns]'' Sleepy. We want to go for a walk in the park.<br />
:'''Fidget''': Dad, can we?<br />
:'''Pongo''': Better do as your mother says. ''[counts the puppies to keep track.]'' One, two, three, four… five, six… seven… eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen…<br />
:'''Rolly''': I’m not sleepy. I’m hungry.<br />
:'''Pongo''': Fourteen... Hmm? ''[sees Lucky sitting back at the TV set]''<br />
:'''Kanine Krunchies Chorus''': So... Do what all the smart dogs do, And you'll feel great the whole day through, You can be a champion too, If you eat Kanine Krunchies! <br />
:'''TV Announcer''': Now, Remember, friends. Just send five…<br />
:'''Pongo''': ''[turns off the TV and carries Lucky off to bed]'' Lucky, you little rascal, let’s go.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[As Roger and Anita take Pongo and Perdita for a walk]''<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': ''[first words]'' There they go, Horace, me lad. Out for their evening constitutional. A lovely pair of turtledoves. Around the Johnny Horner, and off to the park.<br />
:'''Horace Badun''': ''[first words]'' Yeah, but I don't like it, Jasper. One more pinch and they'll throw the keys away.<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': Ah, come off it, Horace. We're getting plenty of boodle!<br />
:'''Horace Badun''': Yes, but, uhm, I've been thinking-<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': ''[grabs him angrily]'' YOU'VE BEEN ''THINKIN’?!'' Now, look here, Horace, I warned you about thinkin’! I've got the knob for this job, so let's get on with it. ''[starts up their truck and drives it up to the doorsteps of Roger and Anita’s flat. The truck makes sputtering noises along the way and stops with a squeak. Jasper and Horace emerge from the truck and walk up the doorsteps, as Horace as a handbag in his hands]'' Ohh, nobody home but the little ol’ cook. Now you just leave her to ol’ Jasper. He can handle her real diplomatic-like!<br />
:'''Horace''': Yeah, but uh, I still don’t like it.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Nanny''': Here, here. Now Patch, you settle down. Oh, dear. Go to sleep now. Close your little eyes. That’s a good little one. Now, who do you suppose...? ''[answers the door]''<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': Good evening, ma'am. We're here to inspect the wiring and the switches.<br />
:'''Horace Badun''': And we're from the gas company.<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': ''[angrily prods Horace]'' Electric, electric.<br />
:'''Horace Badun''': Oh. Electric company!<br />
:'''Nanny''': Oh, but we didn't call for any inspection.<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': Oh yes, I know. See, there's a new Act just passed in Parliament. Comes under the heading of the "Defence of the Realm Act": Article Four, Section 29. Very important - it's the law! And it's for your own safety, ma'am.<br />
:'''Nanny''': Well, I don't care what Parliament, Realm or whatever it is says. You're not coming in here, not with the Mister and the Missus gone.<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': Oh, now. Come off it, Ducky. We got no time to palaver. We got a job to do. ''EXCUSE'' ME! ''[rudely storms through the door]''<br />
:'''Nanny''': What's the matter with you two?! You got cloth ears? I said you're not coming in here! ''[clumsily falls on her bottom]''<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': Ho, ho, ho! She's a regular old tartar, ain't she, Horace? ''[laughs mockingly, then evilly heads upstairs]'' <br />
:'''Nanny''': ''[angrily chasing Jasper]'' Don't you dare go up there, you big long-legged lummox! Now I mean it! If you don't get out of this house, I'll call the police, I will! Now be off with you, you big...you big ''weasel!''<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': Now you've been gone and done it. You've cut me to the quick, lady. Why, I wouldn't stay here if you asked me to. ''[Nanny angrily throws a teapot at him, but it misses and breaks]'' Not even for a cup of tea. ''[evilly calling down for Horace while trapping Nanny in the attic]'' Oy! Horace, me lad! I've got a sneaky suspicion we're not welcome here. ''[we see Horace downstairs with a bag, heading for the puppies in the kitchen]'' Pack up, we're leaving. Sharp's the word, and quick's the action.<br />
:'''Nanny''': ''[angrily pulls on the door]'' Let me out! Help! I'll call the police! Help!<br />
:''[Jasper evilly lets go of the door, and she falls backward into a cello, breaking it]''<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': ''[offscreen]'' Goodnight, Ducky! Ta-ta!<br />
:'''Nanny''': ''[furiously gets up]'' Why, these good-for-nothing hoodlums! Electric company. Huh! ''[goes over to the window, and sees them drive off]'' They're nothing but common sneak thieves. ''[angrily runs down the stairs to the kitchen]'' I'll bet they made off with the good silver. Why, I bet they took every last... ''[as she gets there, she is horrified to find the empty puppies' bed]'' Oh! The puppies! The puppies, they're gone! ''[looks around frantically]'' Patch?! Lucky?! Rolly?! Oh, they took the puppies! ''[runs out the kitchen and out on the street]'' Oh...whatever will I do? Those scoundrels! They stole the puppies! Police? Help! The puppies! Police! Somebody help me![Sobbings]<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': “Dognapping!" Can you imagine such a thing? "15 Puppies Stolen". They are darling little things. Anita and her... and her bashful Beethoven! Pipe and all! ''[evilly laughs]'' Oh, Roger, you are a fool!<br />
:''[Jasper calls Cruella de Vil on the phone]''<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': Hello? Jasper! Jasper, you idiot! How dare you call here!<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': But we don't want no more of this 'ere! We want our boodle! ''[as Horace tries to get his attention]'' We'll settle for half! <br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': Not one schilling till the job's done! Do you Understand?<br />
:'''Horace Badun''': Jasper! ''[shows him the morning newspaper]''<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': It's here in the blinkin' papers! Pictures and all!<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': Hang the papers! It'll be forgotten tomorrow.<br />
:'''Horace Badun''': I don't like it, Jasper. I don't-<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': ''[to Horace]'' Ah, shaddup, you idiot!<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': ''[thinking she was insulted]'' '''''<big>WHAT?!?!</big>'''''<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': ''[on the phone]'' No, no, not you, miss! I mean Horace here!<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': ''[annoyed]'' Why, you imbecile! ''[angrily slams down the phone]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[The dognapping has affected the Radcliffe's, Nanny, Pongo, and Perdita terribly to the fullest. Pongo hears the phone ring and becomes hopeful about the news, just as Roger answers the phone]''<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': Maybe it’s Scotland Yard. M-Maybe they found something. Hello? Uh, hello, Inspector? I--<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': Is Anita there?<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': Who?<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': Anita!<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': Uh… it’s for you.<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': Hello?<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': Anita, darling.<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': Oh, Cruella.<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': Oh, Anita, what a dreadful thing. I just saw the papers. I couldn’t believe it.<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': Yes, Cruella. It was quite a shock.<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': What does she want? Is she calling to confess?<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': Roger, please!<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': Oh, she’s a sly one, she is!<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': Yes, yes, w-w-we’re doing everything possible.<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': Have you called the police?<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': Yes, we--we called Scotland Yard. But, I-I'm afraid--<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': ''[takes the phone, angrily confronting Cruella]'' Where are they?!<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': ''[takes the phone back]'' You idiot! <br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': Anita!<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': Sorry, Cruella. Yes... if there’s any news, we’ll let you know. Thank you, Cruella. ''[hangs up the phone]'' Roger, I admit she’s eccentric, but she’s not a thief.<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': Well, she’s still number one suspect in my book!<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': Well, she’s been investigated by Scotland Yard, what more do you want?<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': ''[despondent]'' Oh, I don’t know, darling. I don’t know.<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': Oh, Roge. What’ll we do? What’ll we do?<br />
:''[Pongo watches them sadly, then goes to Perdita]''<br />
:'''Pongo''': Perdy...I'm afraid it's all up to us.<br />
:'''Perdita''': Oh, Pongo. Isn't there any hope?<br />
:'''Pongo''': Well, yes. There's the twilight bark.<br />
:'''Perdita''': The twilight bark? But dear, that's only a gossip chain.<br />
:'''Pongo''': Darling, it's the very fastest way to send news. And if our puppies are anywhere in the city, the London dogs will know. Now we'll send the word tonight when our pets take us for a walk in the park.<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[The camera fades out on them and jump cuts to Regent's Park at night. The two couples are standing on a hill overlooking the city. Pongo is barking loudly to get another dog's attention]''<br />
:'''Perdita''': There’s no one out tonight. I’m afraid it’s too cold.<br />
:'''Pongo''': We’ve got to keep trying, Perdy." ''[hears barking nearby]'' Perdy, we’re in luck! It’s the Great Dane at Hampstead. ''[barks in response, which angers Roger]''<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': Pongo, quiet, boy! Do you wanna stir up the whole neighborhood? Come on, Pongo.<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': Perdy, come on, girl!<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': Let’s go, boy. Oh, Pongo, you old idiot! Come on, now! We’re going home! ''[angrily drags Pongo to bring him home]''<br />
:''[Fortunately, Pongo's idea to use the Twilight Bark works; Danny, a Great Dane, is barking a last minute response to Pongo, who barks back to him in reply. His friend, Scotty, a small Yorkshire Terrier, catches up with him]''<br />
:'''Scotty''': What is it, Danny? Who’s on the telegraph?<br />
:'''Danny''': It’s Pongo, Regents Park! It’s an all-dog alert.<br />
:'''Scotty''': What’s it all about? What's the word? Tell me, Danny! Tell me, tell me! Tell me!<br />
:'''Danny''': Wait a minute, wait a minute. Well, now… Hmm, that is something.<br />
:'''Scotty''': What, Danny? What’s something?<br />
:'''Danny''': 15 Dalmatian puppies, stolen!<br />
:'''Scotty''': Have they called the police? Scotland Yard?<br />
:'''Danny''': The humans have tried everything. Now, it’s up to us dogs... and the Twilight Bark!<br />
:'''Scotty''': I’ll sound the alert! ''[barks so loudly and rapidly that he bounces like a jackhammer and grips on the column to prevent himself from falling off]''<br />
:'''Danny''': Woof! Woof!<br />
:''[Danny and Scotty bark long and loud, echoing throughout the neighborhood, where the message reaches a Dachshund coming out of his doghouse]''<br />
:'''Dachshund''': Ah! ''[goes to a drainpipe and barks the message up through the drainpipe, where it reaches Prissy's apartment. As Prissy's owner uses her as a model for her new art project, Prissy runs to the window and barks in reply, until her owner yanks her back inside]''<br />
:'''Prissy's owner''': Prissy, come in here!<br />
:'''Prissy''': ''[ignores her master and runs to another window, where she relays the message across town. A corgi, the pug and other puppies bark in reply inside a pet shop window. Even Coco, the poodle from recently, participates in the Twilight Bark while she rides on top of her owner's limousine]''<br />
:'''Coco's Owner''': Coco! Be quiet now!<br />
:''[All the dogs in London bark, woof, and howl as they relay the message about Pongo and Perdy's fifteen stolen Dalmatian puppies being stolen, even they annoy the humans loudly]''<br />
:'''Man''': Aw, shut up! Quiet! ''[angrily shouting]'' <big>'''''WILL YOU BE QUIET?!'''''</big><br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[By now, the Twilight Bark reaches the countryside, as each farm dog passes it onto the next dog traveling on a canal barge. On a hill, Towser, an old bloodhound, receives the message]''<br />
:'''Lucy''': ''[waddles up to him]'' Towser, what's going on? What is it? What's all the gossip?<br />
:'''Towser''': Taint no gossip, Lucy. It be all the way from London.<br />
:'''Lucy''': You don't say!<br />
:'''Towser''': 15 puppies stolen.<br />
:'''Lucy''': But there's no puppies around here. Not since Nellie's last litter. And they're all grown up.<br />
:'''Towser''': Well, then, we'd best send the word along. It be up to me to reach the Colonel! He be the only one in barking range.<br />
:'''Lucy''': You'll never reach him at this hour!<br />
:'''Towser''': Well, I can try! I'll bark all night if I have to. Ahem! ''[barks loudly, reaching an old farm establishment, where a gate with a sign above reads "Lancers: H.M. Forces Ret.: Maj. General S.F. Smedley: The 9th Queen's Royal Lancers". A grey farm horse named Captain opens the stall door]''<br />
:'''Captain''': ''[neighing lowly]'' Hmm-hmm-hmm. Hmm... sounds like old Towser. It's an alert. Sergeant! ''[peaks louder to wake up Sergeant Tibbs, a tabby cat sleeping on his back]'' Sergeant Tibbs! I SAY, SERGEANT! ''[neighs loudly to wake up Tibbs]''<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': ''[screeches, then promptly salutes]'' Who? What? Oh, yes, Captain!<br />
:'''Captain''': Barking signal. It's an alert. Report to the Colonel at once.<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': ''[respectfully salutes Captain]'' Yes, sir. Righto, sir. Right away, sir! ''[hops off Captain's back and scurries along the barn rafters to find Colonel. He reaches an empty barn stall with plenty of hay scattered on the floor and looks for Colonel]'' Colonel? I say, Colonel! Colonel, sir? Colonel? ''[yelps as Colonel wakes up]'' Colonel?!<br />
:'''The Colonel''': What? What? Who goes there?<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': Sergeant Tibbs reporting, sir.<br />
:'''The Colonel''': Tibbs? Tibbs? Oh, yes, Sergeant Tibbs!<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': Colonel, sir-<br />
:'''The Colonel''': Now, look here, Tibbs. What's the idea of barging in at this hour of the night?<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': But, Colonel...<br />
:'''The Colonel''': Hold on, Sergeant. You hear that? Sounds like an alert.<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': Yes, Colonel.<br />
:'''The Colonel''': Well, we'd better look into it. Come along, on the double!<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': Yes, sir. Righto, sir. ''[follows Colonel to the stall next to Captain's stall, just as Captain himself hears the last of the message]''<br />
:'''Captain''': It's old Towser down at Withermarsh, sir.<br />
:'''The Colonel''': By Jove, yes! So it is. Well, I'll see what he wants. Ahem! ''[barking]''<br />
:''[Back on the hill a good distance away from the farm, Towser receives the response from Colonel with Lucy holding up his left ear]''<br />
:'''Towser''': It'd be the Colonel. The old boy himself! ''[chuckles]'' He wants the message.<br />
:'''Lucy''': You'd better make it loud and clear or he'll never get it.<br />
:'''Towser''': ''[barks the message about the fifteen stolen puppies]''<br />
:'''The Colonel''': One long howl, two short. One yip and a woof.<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': Two yips, sir.<br />
:'''Captain''': What's the word, Colonel?<br />
:'''The Colonel''': It's from London.<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': It must be important.<br />
:''The Colonel''': Yes, I'll get the rest of it. Ahem! ''[barks some more]''<br />
:''[Barking in the distance]''<br />
:'''The Colonel''': Sounds like a number. Three fives are 13.<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': Um, ah, that's 15, sir.<br />
:'''The Colonel''': 15? Of course 15! ''[more barking]'' Yes, dot, spot, spot, spotted puddings...poodles...No, no, ''puddles.''<br />
:'''The Captain''': Puddles, sir?<br />
:'''The Colonel''': 15 spotted puddles stolen, oh, ''balderdash!''<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': Better double-check it, Colonel.<br />
:'''The Colonel''': Hmm? Oh, yes, yes, I suppose I better. ''[barks, then barking in the distance in response]'' Two woofs, one yip and a woof.<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': It sounds like ''puppies,'' sir.<br />
:'''The Colonel''': Of ''course,'' puppies!<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': Colonel, Colonel, sir, I just remembered. Two nights past, I heard puppy barking at Hell Hall.<br />
:'''The Colonel''': You mean the old De Vil place? Nonsense, Tibbs! No one's lived there for years.<br />
:'''Captain''': Hold on! There's smoke coming from the chimney!<br />
:'''The Colonel''': By Jove, that's strange... strange indeed. I suppose we'd better investigate. I'll send word for ol' Towser to stand by. ''[barking]''<br />
:'''Towser''': ''[receives the last message from the Colonel]'' Please... stand... by.<br />
:'''Lucy''': What's he mean by that?<br />
:'''Towser''': I don't know. Oh... maybe the ol' boy's found something!<br />
:'''Lucy''': Oh, I do hope so!<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[By now, Colonel and Sergeant Tibbs arrive at the gates to Hell Hall. Colonel peers through the iron bars of the gates]''<br />
:'''The Colonel''': They say the ol' place is haunted, or bewitched, or some such fiddle-faddle.<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': Fiddle-faddle and rot, sir. ''[looks at the exterior of Hell Hall]''<br />
:'''The Colonel''': Just the same, Sergeant, use extreme caution. No telling what sort of hocus pocus you might run in to. Well, blast it all, Tibbs! On the double, man! On the double!<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': ''[salutes Colonel]'' Yes, sir. Righto, sir. Right away, sir. ''[leaps off Colonel's back and scampers up a tree branch, finally reaches the windowsill, which crumbles in some parts, wipes his paw on the glass to get a good visual of the hall, sees a large, dark, gloomy foyer, complete with a tall, winding staircase, a plated armor statue with an axe in its hand, and a glowing crack through the wall, opens the window, giving off a creaking sound, then lands on the floor and makes it to the crack, checks if the coast is clear and squeezes himself inside the living room, where he comes upon a yawning dalmatian puppy without a collar]'' Psst! Rover! Spotty!<br />
:'''Rover''': Hmm, what?<br />
:'''Sergeant Tips''': Are you one of the 15 stolen puppies?<br />
:'''Rover''': We're not stolen. We're bought and paid for. There's 99 of us all together.<br />
:'''Sergeant Tips''': 99?! ''[sees a vast sea of dalmatian puppies sleeping across the living room floor]''<br />
:'''Spotty''': How 'bout that bunch of little ones? They have names and collars. They're not from the pet shops.<br />
:'''Sergeant Tips''': 15 of them?<br />
:'''Rover''': We never counted them. They're over there by the TV.<br />
:''[the 15 dalmatian puppies that were stolen are watching the Silly Symphony short, "Springtime", on TV]''<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': ''[creeps over to the couch to count the puppies]'' Then, I'd better count 'em.<br />
:'''Spotty''': Watch out for the Baduns.<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': Baduns?<br />
:'''Rover''': Those two blokes, Horace and Jasper. They're mean ones, they are.<br />
:''[They're seen without their coats on, Horace helps himself to a pair of sandwiches, and Jasper guzzles down on some wine. As Tibbs climbs on a box behind the couch to count the fifteen puppies, Lucky ducks his head down as the center flower dances up close to the screen]''<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': Ey, look, Horace! Watch me pot 'Is Lordship smack on the conk! ''[throws a dart that lands on a dartboard, laughs evilly]'' How's that for callin' 'em, eh? ''[laughs evilly, swats Horace in the belly, and Horace irritatedly looks at him]''<br />
:'''Sergeant Tips''': ''[counting]'' 1... 2... 3, 4, 5, 6...<br />
:'''Horace Badun''': Hey, Jasper! ''[impolitely eats with his mouth full of food]'' Come on now. Give us a swig, just a short one.<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': Now, Horace, this here hogwash ain't fit for a fancy bloke like yourself. Besides, you'd get crumbs in it, you cabbage head! ''[sets the wine bottle down next to Tibbs]''<br />
:'''Horace Badun''': All right. Guzzle the whole works, and I hope it gives you collywobbles, that's what. ''[take his first bite and notices his toppings are gone]'' Hey, Jasper, did you...<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': ''[rudely ignores his brother and dumps a bunch of cigar ashes on the bread slices]''<br />
:'''Sergeant Tips''': ''[counting]'' Let me see... 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11...<br />
:'''Horace Badun''': ''[angrily pushes Lucky down from the TV set]'' Hey! Get down, you little runt, and stay down!<br />
:'''Patch''': ''[angrily barks at Horace for messing with his brother]''<br />
:'''Horace Badun''': ''[angrily threatens Patch]'' Go on! Get out of here, or I'll... I'll black your other peeper.<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': Where was I? 9... 9... three more. 12 and... 1, 2, 3. That's 15! They're the ones!<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': ''[accidentally grabs Sergeant Tibbs and drinks him which causes him to screech in alarm and run off with fright, sputtering with cat germs and gets it off his tongue]'' Blimey! What the... ''[notices Tibbs bounding away as the puppies bark in surprise]'' Hey, Horace, look what we got! A tabby cat!<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': ''[bounds across a grand piano, knocking down the support arm for the cover, which squashes Horace inside the piano]''<br />
:'''Patch, Two-Tone, Lucky, Dipstick, Jewel, Fidget and Whizzer''': ''[continue barking]''<br />
:'''Jasper''': ''[armed with a bunch of darts in his hands, laughs evilly]'' How'd you like a tabby cat stew? ''[violently throws the darts to kill Tibbs squirming against the wall and cruelly raises an empty wine bottle to aim at Tibbs running away from the living room]'' Or a cat casserole? ''[laughs evilly]'' A la MODE! ''[angrily throws the wine bottle at Tibbs, but misses him as Tibbs squeezes back through the crack and The wine bottle shatters in pieces]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Meanwhile, back in London, as Big Ben chimes in the evening hour, Pongo and Perdita are upstairs in Roger's attic as Pongo listens to the Great Dane bark the message back to him]''<br />
:'''Perdita''': What is it, Pongo? What is it?<br />
:'''Pongo''': It's the Great Dane. He has news for us. He'll meet us at Primrose Hill.<br />
:'''Perdita''': How'll we get out?<br />
:'''Pongo''': The back bedroom window. It's always open a wee bit. C'mon.<br />
:''[Pongo and Perdita sneak out of the flat and run along to Primrose Hill, where they meet up with Danny]''<br />
:'''Danny''': ''[barks]''<br />
:'''Perdita''': ''[barking]''<br />
:'''Danny''': Pongos, you've made it. Good.<br />
:'''Pongo''': What's the word? What's the news?<br />
:'''Perdita''': Have they found our puppies?<br />
:'''Danny''': They've been located somewhere north of here in Suffolk.<br />
:'''Perdita''': ''[relieved]'' Oh, thank heavens.<br />
:'''Danny''': Can you leave tonight?<br />
:'''Pongo''': Yes, yes, of course.<br />
:'''Perdita''': We can leave right away.<br />
:'''Danny''': Good! I'll go along as far as Camden Road and give you instructions.<br />
:''[The three dogs run quickly out of Primrose Hill and make it to the Camden Road bridge in another part of town. A foghorn sounds off twice in the background]''<br />
:'''Danny''': And when you reach Withermarsh, contact old Towser. He'll direct you to the Colonel, and the Colonel will take you to your puppies at the De Vil place.<br />
:'''Perdita''': ''[shocked]'' De Vil?!<br />
:'''Pongo''': ''[shocked]'' The De Vil place?!<br />
:'''Perdita''': ''[realized]'' Oh, Pongo, it was her!<br />
:'''Danny''': Oh, someone you know?<br />
:'''Pongo''': ''[respectfully appreciates Danny]'' Sorry, sir. Come on, There's no time to explain.<br />
:''[The two Dalmatian parents start their journey as they run through a tunnel]''<br />
:'''Perdita''': I hope we're not too late.<br />
:'''Danny''': ''[echoing]'' Good luck, Pongos and farewell! If you lose your way, contact the barking chain! They'll be standing by!<br />
:''[The next morning, Pongo and Perdita run along through the English countryside. Pongo stops to let Perdita catch up with him, and both parents continue their journey. Soon, it starts to snow, as the two jump over a fence and dodge an incoming moving van that honks at them. Pongo and Perdita tread through a creek and reach dry land. Later, a snowstorm hits, almost making the journey hard for them as they plow through the snowdrifts. Soon, they come across a river, where packs of snow flow quickly through it. Pongo is the first to tread through the water. The river's current and the snow push him back, as Pongo searches for another way to swim through. Perdita jumps in the river and swims quickly to catch up with him]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Meanwhile, back at Smedley Farm, Sgt. Tibbs, and Colonel sit outside on a horse-drawn wagon as theywait patiently and perk up their ears for the barking chain]''<br />
:'''Captain''': ''[sticks his head out to ask his superior a question]'' Any news, Colonel?<br />
:'''Colonel''': Not a blasted thing. They're lost or captured, or something, or other. Who knows what.<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': ''[sees Cruella's car driving down the road]'' Colonel, sir, Colonel! Here she comes a car.<br />
:'''Colonel''': Oh, come now, Tibs. Don't be ridiculous. They wouldn't be driving.<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': Yes, I know, sir. But it's heading for Hell Hall. It... It's stopping at the gate!<br />
:'''Colonel''': It is? Blast it all, Tibbs! Better see what's up. On the double, man. On the double!<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': Yes, sir. ''[jumps on Colonel's back as they head for the de Vil mansion]''<br />
:'''Colonel''': Take over, Captain!<br />
:'''Captain''': ''[respectfully wishes Colonel and Tips a good luck]'' Righto, sir.<br />
:'''Quizmaster''': I'm sorry, Mr. Simpkins. The answer is no. No, no, no, no. Six down, four to go.<br />
:'''Inspector Graves''': Ah, was this a single item or a number of things?<br />
:''[Horace plugs his ears, and Jasper raises the volume on the TV set]''<br />
:'''Quizmaster''': It must be a yes or no question, Inspector.<br />
:''[An angry Cruella de Vil catches Jasper and Horace watching television]''<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': I've got no time to argue. I tell you it's got to be done tonight. ''[turns off the TV]'' Do you understand?! Tonight! <br />
:'''Horace Badun''': But they ain't big enough. <br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': You couldn't get half a dozen coats out of the whole kaboodle. <br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': ''[spying]'' ''Dog-skin Coats?!'' Dog-skin coats?! <br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': Then we'll settle for half a dozen! We can't wait! The police are everywhere. I want the job done tonight!<br />
:'''Horace Badun''': How are we gonna do it? <br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': Any way you like. Poison them, drown them, bash them in the head! You got any chloroform? <br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': Not a drop. <br />
:'''Horace Badun''': And no ether...either. <br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': ''[violently bonks Horace on the head with his wine-bottle]'' "''Eye''-ther"! <br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': I don't care how you kill the little beasts, but DO IT! AND DO IT NOW!<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': Aw, please, miss. Now have pity, will ya? Can't we see the rest of the show first?<br />
:'''Horace Badun''': We want to see "What's My Crime?"<br />
:''[Jasper he starts to drink from his bottle, but Cruella de Vil furiously snatches it and angrily she throws it into the fireplace, an explosion. The puppies hide behind the furniture in fear.]''<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': ''[She angrily hits Jasper and Horace's slaps faces]'' Now listen, you idiots! I'll be back first thing in the morning! And the job better be done and I'll... I'll... I'll call the police! <big>'''''DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!'''''</big> ''[She slams the door behind her in a fit of rage; the slam causes a chunk of the ceiling to come loose and fall on Horace's head]''<br />
:'''Horace Badun''': I think she means it, Jasper.<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': Ah...we'll get on with it as soon as the show's over. ''[turns the TV back on]''<br />
:'''Quizmaster''': Will you please sign in, sir?<br />
:''[A contestant signs his name on a chalkboard on the screen, just as Sgt. Tibbs meets up with the puppies]''<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': Hey, kids. You'd better get out of here if you want to save your skins.<br />
:'''Dalmatian Puppy 1''': But, how?<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': Shh. There's a hole in the wall there by the door. ''[points to the hole in the wall right by the door]'' C'mon, shake a leg. Psst. Kids, follow me.<br />
:'''Horace''': ''[laughing]'' Hey, Jasper, look! Ha-ha-ha-ha. It's old Meathead!<br />
:'''Jasper''': Yeah, what do you know: Old Meathead Fauncewater!<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': C'mon, now. Don't crowd. One at a time! One at a time!<br />
:'''Quizmaster''': Now, for our last contestant this evening, panel, meet Mr. Percival Fauncewater. Now, Mr. Fauncewater, if the panel fails to guess your unusual crime in ten questions, you will receive two weeks vacation at a fashionable seaside resort, all expenses paid. That is, of course, after you've paid your debt to society.<br />
:''[Mr. Fauncewater sits in his chair next to the Quizmaster. Mr. Fauncewater's smile droops. He looks at his guard, who sternly shifts his eye at him]''<br />
:'''Quizmaster''': Now, um, who will take the first question? Inspector?<br />
:'''Inspector Graves''': Ah, Mr. Fauncewater, could your crime be classified as larceny? A theft, you know? A burglary of some sort?<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': ''[orders the puppies to line up against the wall, as more puppies sneak past the Baduns and meet up with the others, whispering]'' Straighten out! Form a queue along the wall. C'mon, snap it up. Faster!<br />
:'''Quizmaster''': Mr. Fauncewater is a burglar by trade, but in this case, his crime was not burglary. I'm sorry: The answer is no. One down, nine to go. Miss Birdwell?<br />
:'''Miss Birdwell''': If your crime wasn't robbery, wherein did you... Oh, dear, what I mean is... Do something of a violent nature, that it is..<br />
:'''Quizmaster''': Oh, come, come, come, Miss Birdwell, we're running short of time.<br />
:'''Miss Birdwell''': Oh, yes, of course. So sorry. Did you do someone in?<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': Oh, blimey! ''[sees Lucky watching the game show with interest]''<br />
:'''Quizmaster''': Oh, no, Miss Birdwell, I'm sorry. The answer is no. Two down, eight to go. Mr. Simpkins?<br />
:'''Mr. Simpkins''': Oh, yes. Your crime was not robbery and not homicide. Well then, could it be a violation of a city ordinance of some sort?<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': Psst. Hey, kid, let's go. ''[tries grabbing Lucky's tail, but Lucky leans up to get a closer view of the screen, where Mr. Fauncewater whispers something into the Host's ear]''<br />
:'''Quizmaster''': I see. Uh, uh, no. The answer is no, no, no.<br />
:'''Horace''': Hey, get out of the way, you little runt! ''[roughly hands Lucky to Jasper who angrily tosses him aside]''<br />
:'''Quizmaster''': Three down, seven to go. Inspector?<br />
:'''Inspector Graves''': Oh, this is very confusing, I must say, strictly. Surely, this crime could...<br />
:''[Sgt. Tibbs catches Lucky like a forward pass, until he steps on a series of wine bottles and soup cans, which they are forced to barrel roll on. Rolly sees them coming. Sgt. Tibbs trips, tossing Lucky into the air and through the hole. Sgt. Tibbs slides to a stop by Rolly, just as the timer buzzes off, ending the game show]''<br />
:'''Quizmaster''': I'm terribly sorry. I'm afraid we've run out of time.<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': ''[annoyed]'' Aw, now, ain't that always the way!<br />
:'''Quizmaster''': Would it be possible for Mr. Fauncewater to come back next week? Then, we could finish our little game. Goodnight, audience. See you next week at the same time on "What's My Crime?"<br />
:''[Rolly goes through the hole]''<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': ''[yawning as he and Horace put on their coats]'' Oh, well. C'mon, Horace. Let's get on with it. ''[evilly grabs a fire poker]'' I'll pop 'em off, you do the skinnin'.<br />
:'''Horace Badun''': Oh, no, you don't, Jasper! ''[evilly pulls off a chair leg and uses it as a club]'' I'll pop 'em off and you do the skinnin'.<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': ''[notices all the captured puppies are gone]'' Hey, Horace, look! They're gone! They flew the coop, right out through this little hole. ''[pulls out a flashlight]'' Here, grab a torch. We'll run 'em down before you can say "Bob's your uncle".<br />
:''[They leave the living room and enter the foyer, searching the area with their flashlights. As the puppies run upstairs, Rolly trips on a step and sees the two goons]''<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': There they go, Horace, up the stairs. ''[creepily calls for Rolly's attention]'' Here, puppies. Here, puppies! C'mon. Now, don't go hiding from your ol' Uncle Jasper. Aw, I ain't gonna hurt ya.<br />
:'''Horace Badun''': But, I thought we was gonna pop 'em off.<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': ''[puts his hand in Horace's mouth to shut him up]'' Shut up. Now, take a squint in there, and I'll check these other two rooms.<br />
:''[Horace goes to explore one of the bedroom while Jasper enters another one and starts searching for them]''<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': Here, puppies. Puppies, come on out. Come out wherever you are. ''[looks under the bed and is startled by Sgt. Tibbs]''<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': ''[leaps on Jasper's face]''<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': Horace! ''[gets plowed over by the puppies]'' Oh! It's that mangy tabby cat! He's the ringleader! Head 'em off, Horace! Head 'em...<br />
:''[Horace angrily collides into Jasper, as they both go tumbling down the stairs]''<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': ''[ticked off]'' You bungling blockhead! ''[angrily punches Horace on the head]''<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': ''[leads the puppies downstairs and right under the stairwell to hide from the crooks, who are catching right up with them]'' Back here! Back here! Shh. Here they come.<br />
:''[Horace and Jasper come down the stairs]''<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': ''[grumbles angrily]'' Double-crossin' little twerps, pullin 'a snitch on us, and after we took care of 'em all this time. There's gratitude for you.<br />
:'''Horace Badun''': It ain't fair, Jasper.<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': Naw.<br />
:'''Rolly''': ''[gallops down the stairs, takes one look at the goons, just as Sgt. Tibbs grabs Rolly by the tail, causing Rolly to yip]''<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': ''[points to puppies]'' Hey, Horace, there they go!<br />
:''[Tibbs and the puppies are forced to make a break for it back the way they came, just as Colonel sees them running from the Baduns through a window]''<br />
:'''Colonel''': Sergeant? I say, Sergeant.<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': ''[respectfully tries to explain]'' Sorry, sir. No time to explain. Busy, sir!<br />
:''[Colonel leaves the window and comes to another window to see the puppies and Tibbs run back to the living room, where Horace and Jasper evilly trap them]''<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': Shut that door, Horace! We'll close in on 'em. Enough of this "Ring Around the Rosy".<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Meanwhile, Perdita and Pongo come to a pair of crossroads]''<br />
:'''Perdita''': ''[concerned]'' Oh, Pongo, Pongo, I'm afraid we're lost.<br />
:'''Pongo''': It can't be far. ''[barks loudly to get the Colonel's attention]''<br />
:'''The Colonel''': ''[hears Pongo's barking in the distance]'' By Jove! It can't be the Pongos. ''[gallops and barks in response, until he slips on a frozen pond and into a snowbank, where he continues barking]''<br />
:'''Pongo''': ''[listens to Colonel's barking]'' It's the Colonel. Come on, this way.<br />
:''[They hustle over to Hell Hall where Colonel is]''<br />
:'''Pongo''': Colonel? Are you the Colonel?<br />
:'''The Colonel''': Oh, Pingo! Uh... Uh... Pongo?<br />
:'''Perdita''': Our puppies! Our puppies, are they all right?<br />
:'''The Colonel''': No time to explain. There's trouble. A big hullabaloo. Come along! Follow me!<br />
:''[Pongo and Perdita rush to the rescue, as Colonel runs. Tibbs and the puppies cower from the two men]''<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': ''[cackling wickedly]'' Ah, ha-ha-ha! Now, we’ve got ‘em, Horace. They‘ve run out of room! ''[Pongo and Perdita suddenly crashes in, snarling]'' Hey, what have we got here?! A couple of spotted hyenas?! C’mon, Horace, old pal! ''[they both start attacking]'' Give ‘em what for! I’m right behind ya, lad!<br />
:'''Horace Badun''': ''[accidentally hits Jasper]''<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': Oof! Oh, you clumsy clod! ''[angrily kicks Horace]''<br />
:'''Horace Badun''': Hey, Jasper! I’ll knock the spots off you! Let go! Let go!<br />
:''[Perdita bites Horace's pant leg. Jasper swings a chair and Pongo jumps on him]''<br />
:'''The Colonel''': Well, by George!<br />
:''[A puppy barks. Jasper scowls and the puppy scampers off]''<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': ''[violently kicks Pongo against the wall]'' You mangy mongrel!<br />
:'''Pongo''': ''[shakes his head dizzily]''<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': I’ll knock your blinkin' block off! ''[smashes the wall with his crowbar]''<br />
:'''Pongo''': ''[angrily bites Jasper's rear end]''<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': YEOW!!<br />
:'''The Colonel''': ''[looks through a hole in the door]'' Blast ‘em, Tibbs. Go on, give ‘em what for.<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': No, no, Colonel! Retreat, retreat!<br />
:'''The Colonel''': Yes. Oh, yes, of course. Retreat! Retreat, on the double!<br />
:''[The puppies follow Sergeant Tibbs and the Colonel to the front door. Perdita attacks Horace, while Pongo attacks Jasper.]''<br />
:'''Horace Badun''': Help, Jasper, Jasper! Get me out of here!<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': Hey, Horace, they’re fighting dirty!<br />
:'''Horace Badun''': Oh, oh, oh! ''[falls in the fireplace]'' Oh, oh, oh! ''[hits his head in the fireplace and bolts away, as he puts out the flames on the seat of his pants]'' '''''<big>JASPER!</big>'''''<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': '''''<big>HORACE!</big>'''''<br />
:''[With his pants on fire, Horace knocks Jasper against a wall. It cracks and the ceiling collapses on them]''<br />
:'''Pongo''': C’mon, Perdy. Let’s go.<br />
:''[The two dogs follow the paw prints in the snow. Horace and Jasper go outside]''<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': ''[angrily shakes his fist]'' I’ll skin every one of them little spotted hyenas, if it’s the last thing I do!<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[At the same time, Pongo and Perdita run inside the barn, where they reunite with their puppies]''<br />
:'''Patch''': Dad! Mother!<br />
:'''Freckles''': "I missed you, Mummy."<br />
:'''Penny''': "Here we are, Mummy."<br />
:'''Perdita''': ''[relieved]'' Oh, my darlings... my darlings!<br />
:'''Lucky''': How'd you find us, Dad?<br />
:'''Pongo''': ''[laughing]'' Lucky, Patch, Pepper! Freckles!<br />
:''[Tibbs sighs lovingly on Colonel's head]''<br />
:'''Dipstick''': Oh, Daddy!<br />
:'''Pongo''': And Rolly, you little rascal!<br />
:'''Rolly''': "Did you bring me anything to eat?"<br />
:'''Pongo''': Everybody here? All 15?<br />
:'''Patch''': Twice that many, Dad. Now there's 99 of us!<br />
:'''Pongo:''' ''[stunned]'' "What? 99...?" ''[sees the 84 extra dalmatian puppies sitting on the hay bales]'' Where did they all come from?<br />
:'''Perdita''': ''[stunned]'' What on earth would she want with so many?<br />
:'''Dalmatian Puppy 4''': She's gonna make coats out of us.<br />
:'''Perdita''': She couldn't!<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': ''[seriously]'' That's right: Dog-skin coats.<br />
:'''The Colonel''': ''[doubtful]'' Oh, dog-skin coats! Oh, come now, Tibbs!<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': ''[truthfully]'' But it's true, sir.<br />
:'''Patch''': Horace and Jasper were gonna pop us off and... skin us!<br />
:'''Perdita''': "She's a devil, a witch! What'll we do?"<br />
:'''Pongo''': We have to get back to London somehow.<br />
:'''Patch''': What about the others? What'll they do?<br />
:''[The 84 Dalmatian puppies sit there on the hay bales, wondering about their fate, until Pongo makes his decision]''<br />
:'''Pongo''': ''[judiciously]'' "Perdy, we'll take them home with us; all of them. Our pets would never turn them out."<br />
:'''Captain''': ''[snorting]'' Colonel, sir, lights on the road. It's a truck headin' this way. ''[sees the Baduns driving their truck down the road as their follow their tracks]''<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': It's the Baduns, Horace and Jasper. They're following our tracks.<br />
:'''The Colonel''': "Well, we've got 'em out numbered, Tibs. When I give the signal, we'll attack.<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': "Colonel, sir, I'm afraid that would be disastrous."<br />
:'''The Colonel''': "Ahem! Oh, you think so?"<br />
:'''Pongo''': He's right, Colonel. We'd better run for it.<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': Out the back way, across the pasture.<br />
:'''Pongo''': Thank you, Sergeant, Colonel, Captain.<br />
:'''Perdita''': Bless you all.<br />
:'''Pongo''': How can we ever repay you?<br />
:'''The Colonel''': Ahem! Nothing at all. All in the line of duty.<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': That's right, sir... routine.<br />
:'''Captain''': Better be off. Here they come.<br />
:''[The Baduns park their truck outside and begin to enter the barn]''<br />
:'''Perdita''': C'mon, kids, hurry. ''[leads the puppies out the barn and across the pasture]''<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': "Good luck, Pongos.<br />
:'''The Colonel''': Yes, good luck, and never fear! We'll hold them off 'til the bitter end!<br />
:'''Captain''': ''[neighs for Colonel's attention as he hustles on the spot]''<br />
:'''The Colonel''': ''[appears and barks at Jasper and Horace]''<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': Now, what's this? Hey, out of my way, you barkin' haystack, or I'll knock your blinkin' block off!<br />
:'''Pongo''': ''[sees the Baduns and leaves, following the Dalmatian puppies behind, just as Horace and Jasper come in, armed with their flashlights and weapons, cornering Colonel by the hay]''<br />
:'''Horace''': Well, they ain't in here, Jasper.<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': No. They're hiding in the hay. Here, give me a match. We'll burn 'em out.<br />
:''[As Horace hands his brother the match, Sgt. Tibbs grabs onto Captain's ears and prepares to use him as a cannon]''<br />
:'''Sergeant Tibbs''': Ready, Captain. Aim... Fire one! ''[pulls down Captain's ear, letting him kick Jasper in the butt and into the barn roof, surprising Colonel]'' Fire two! ''[fires Captain's leg, kicking Horace in the butt and right into the barn roof where Jasper is]''<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': Hey! There they go, the little sneaks! C'mon, Horace, back to the truck. We'll head 'em off in half a mile. ''[rush back outside, where Jasper rides up in the truck and lets his brother get on, drive down the country road and stop at a bridge, where they shine their flashlights on a frozen creek]'' Ah, they gotta be around here somewhere.<br />
:''[The Dalmatians are hiding under the bridge from the two goons. Rolly, on the other hand, has little room as he squirms around between two of his siblings]''<br />
:'''Horace Badun''': Jasper, I've been thinkin'.<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': Now, Horace.<br />
:'''Horace Badun''': ''[shines his flashlight on the creek, just as Rolly bursts out from the formation and near the flashlight]'' Well, what if they went down the froze-up creek so's not to leave their tracks?<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': ''[meanly yanks Horace back in his car seat]'' Aw, Horace, you idiot! Dogs ain't that smart. ''[starts up the truck and drives off into the distance]''<br />
:'''Pongo''': ''[watches them leave and then turns to Perdita and the puppies]'' All clear, Perdy. All clear.<br />
:'''Whizzer''': We gave 'em the slip! ''[slips on the ice in front of Pongo]'' Didn't we, Dad?<br />
:'''Penny''': They didn't even see us, Patch!<br />
:'''Perdita''': Shh, children. Children, shh.<br />
:''[As the puppies continue walking, some of the other puppies form a dalmatian chain by clinging onto Perdita's tail and then each other's tail with their mouths. The next puppy tries to cling onto the other one's tail, but he or she trips over and bumps into Rolly, as they both slide on the ice]''<br />
:'''Lucky''': ''[tries catching up to them, but his feet slip on the ice]'' My feet are slippery. I wish we could walk on the snow.<br />
:'''Pongo''': ''[picks up Lucky with his mouth]'' No, son, we can't leave tracks. ''[follows the dalmatians behind with Lucky in his teeth. His hind legs slip on the ice, then he stands back up and resumes following them]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[The next morning, as a rooster crows, Cruella evilly drives up in her car and speeds right past the Baduns, who spin around in their truck and stop likewise. Cruella furiously backs her car up to face them]''<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': Well?! Any sign of them?!<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': Not so much as one bloomin’ footprint. And we've been up and down every blinkin’ road in the whole county.<br />
:'''Horace Badun''': ''[shivering, wrapped up in a ]'' We're froze stiff! We're givin’ up--<br />
:'''Cruella''': ''[grabs Horace threateningly]'' Oh, no you don't! We’ll find the little mongrels if it takes till next Christmas! '''NOW GET GOING!''' ''[shoves him back into the Baduns' truck]'' And watch your driving, you imbeciles! You want to get nabbed by the police?! with this?<br />
:''[Jasper and Horace watch in fear as Cruella backs her car off a few paces, then speeds past and away, leaving them covered in snow]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Meanwhile, the dalmatian clan is caught in a heavy snowstorm]''<br />
:'''Pongo''': ''[keeps track of the dalmatian puppies behind]'' 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98... ''[sees Lucky struggling to keep up with the rest of the group]'' Oh, Lucky! ''[grabs Lucky with his teeth and carries him the rest of the way]'' C'mon, Lucky boy. We can't give up now.<br />
:'''Lucky''': I'm tired and I'm hungry and my tail's froze... and my nose is froze and my ears are froze. And my toes are froze.<br />
:''[They hear barking in the distance]''<br />
:'''Collie''': Pongo! Pongo! Pongo! ''[meets up with Pongo and Lucky]'' We'd just about lost hope. We have shelter for you... at the dairy barn across the road.<br />
:'''Pongo''': Oh, thank goodness. ''[runs to Perdita who is leading the rest of the puppies and calls out to her]'' Perdy! Perdy! This way, Perdy. The dairy barn across the road.<br />
:'''Perdita''': ''[hears her mate calling and leads the puppies to the dairy barn]'' C'mon, kids.<br />
:'''Pongo''': It's not far. C'mon, this way. Follow the collie.<br />
:''[The freezing wind makes it hard for the puppies to walk ahead, but they steadily continue. The collie goes to the front door, opens it with his paw, and ushers the entire dalmatian clan inside the barn, where they are greeted by a row of dairy cows]''<br />
:'''Princess''': Just look, Queenie. Have you ever seen so many puppies?"<br />
:'''Queenie''': Aren't they adorable!<br />
:'''Duchess''': Perfectly darling.<br />
:'''Princess''': The poor, little dears. They're completely worn out and half frozen!<br />
:'''Perdita''': They all here, Pongo?<br />
:'''Pongo''': ''[puts Lucky down by Perdita's feet]'' Yes, dear. All 99 accounted for.<br />
:'''Queenie''': The famous Pongos. We were so worried about you.<br />
:'''Collie''': Been trying to reach you for hours. Afraid you'd been captured.<br />
:'''Queenie''': How did you make it all this way? And in such dreadful weather?<br />
:'''Duchess''': And with all those little ones.<br />
:'''Rolly''': I'm hungry, Mother. I'm hungry.<br />
:'''Cadpig''': I'm hungry, too.<br />
:'''Freckles''': Mother, we're hungry.<br />
:'''Two-Tone, Dipstick, Jewel, Fidget and Whizzer''': We're all hungry.<br />
:'''Perdita''': I'm sorry, children.<br />
:'''Princess''': Do they like warm milk? It's fresh.<br />
:'''Perdita''': Oh.<br />
:'''Rolly''': Where, mother? Where is it?<br />
:'''Cadpig''': Where is the milk?<br />
:'''Queenie''': Come and get it, kids. It's on the house.<br />
:'''Perdita''': ''[leads the kids behind the dairy cows to let the kids feed on their mill]'' This way, children. Around this way. Now, don't crowd. You'll have to take turns. Rolly, wait your turn, dear.<br />
:'''Rolly''': ''[tries pushing through his siblings to suck on one of the cows' udders, gets on a stool to reach the udder but trips over]''<br />
:'''Duchess''': Don't worry, kids. There's plenty for all. Ooh! The little darlings.<br />
:'''Collie''': ''[brings him a discarded sandwich]'' Pongo, a few scraps I saved for you and the missus.<br />
:'''Pongo''': Oh, thank you.<br />
:'''Collie''': It's not much, but it might hold you as far as Dinsford.<br />
:'''Pongo''': Huh? Dinsford?<br />
:'''Collie''': Yes, there's a Labrador there. His pet is a grocer.<br />
:'''Pongo''': ''[yawns]'' Oh, I... I'm terribly sorry.<br />
:'''Collie''': Oh, quite all right. Quite all right. Now, get some rest and don't worry. I'll be standing watch. ''[goes outside to keep an eye out for Cruella and the Baduns]''<br />
:'''Perdita''': I don't know what we'd have done if...<br />
:'''Queenie''': Oh, we're very honoured to be of service.<br />
:'''Princess''': We're only sorry we can't do more.<br />
:'''Duchess''': Anyone who would think of hurting these dear, little puppies...<br />
:'''Queenie''': Shh! Duchess!<br />
:'''Duchess''': They're so dear.<br />
:'''Princess''': I wish they could stay with us for always.<br />
:'''Queenie''': Princess, shh. Quiet, everyone. Let them sleep, the poor things. They're so exhausted, and they still have such a long way to go.<br />
:''[The camera fades out on the cows and the puppies]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[The next morning, the camera opens on another wooded area, where the storm has died down. Perdita leads the puppies down a hill, already on their last stretch for home. As they cross a country road, Cruella's car is heard honking in the distance. The camera switches right to Pongo noticing the sound. Recognizing that Cruella is closing in on them, he dashes through the snow and leaps over the fence to urge the last of the puppies to hurry]''<br />
:'''Pongo''': Hurry, kids. Hurry! ''[grabs a tree branch off a tree and sweeps away their paw prints, using the branch as a broom and gets out of the way just in time, as Cruella's car drives over the hill]''<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': ''[evilly sees the trailing paw prints on the other side of the road]'' Well, now, what have we here? Well... So, they thought they could outwit Cruella. ''[chuckles evilly, blares the horn and angrily calls Jasper and Horace]'' Jasper! Horace! Here's their tracks heading straight for the village!<br />
:'''Jasper''': ''[evilly sees the paw prints]'' Blimey! Oh, it's them, all right.<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': Work your way south on the side roads. I'll take the main road. See you in Dinsford!<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Meanwhile, in Dinsford, the Labrador that the Collie mentioned to Pongo last evening stands outside a blacksmith shop and barks for any sign of the Dalmatians, who then arrive on schedule. Pongo runs ahead, barking in reply.]''<br />
:'''Labrador''': Pongo, I’ve got a ride home for you!<br />
:'''Pongo''': A ride home? Perdy, did you hear that?<br />
:'''Perdita''': Pongo, there she is: Cruella.<br />
:''[Cruella then drives down one side of the street, forcing the Labrador, Pongo, and Perdita to duck down from Cruella searching for them. As soon as they raise their heads, Pongo sees Horace and Jasper looking for them, too.]''<br />
:'''Pongo''': Yes… and Jasper and Horace.<br />
:'''Perdita''': Pongo, how will we get to the van?<br />
:'''Pongo''': I don’t know, Perdy. But somehow, we’ve got to.<br />
:'''Lucky''': Mother, Dad, Patch pushed me in the fireplace.<br />
:'''Patch''': Lucky pushed me first.<br />
:'''Lucky''': Did not.<br />
:'''Patch''': Did too.<br />
:'''Lucky''': Did not.<br />
:'''Patch''': Did too.<br />
:'''Lucky''': Did not! ''[angrily sticks a tongue at Patch]''<br />
:'''Perdita''': Please, children, don't quarrel.<br />
:'''Pongo''': Say...Perdy, I've got an idea. ''[rolls around in soot]''<br />
:'''Perdita''': Pongo, what on Earth...?<br />
:'''Pongo''': Look! I'm a Labrador! We'll all roll in the soot! We'll all be Labradors!<br />
:'''Labrador''': Say! That ''is'' an idea!<br />
:'''Pongo''': Come on, kids! Roll in the soot!<br />
:'''Penny''': You mean you want us to get dirty?<br />
:'''Pepper''': Did you hear that, Freckles? Dad wants us to get dirty.<br />
:'''Cadpig''': Mother, should we?<br />
:'''Perdita''': ''[sighs]'' Do as your father says.<br />
:'''Pepper''': This'll be fun!<br />
:'''Cadpig''': I always wanted to get good and dirty! <br />
:''[All the puppies laugh as they jump into the soot and roll around in it]''<br />
:'''Pongo''': That’s the stuff! The blacker, the better!<br />
:'''Lucky''': I’m ready.<br />
:'''Patch''': Me too!<br />
:'''Freckles''': How’s this, Dad?<br />
:'''Pongo''': ''[to puppies]'' Wait a minute. Now, that’s enough. Not too many at a time. Uh-oh. Rolly, hold on, son. You’re only half done. ''[stops Rolly]''<br />
:'''Labrador''': And now, stay right with me, kids.<br />
:'''Penny''': ''[giggles]'' We’re gonna fool the ol’ mad lady.<br />
:''Then the labrador slowly brings the puppies out into the open, while Horace and Jasper check each nook and cranny with their weapons in the village.''<br />
:'''Perdita''': ''[nervously]'' Pongo, I’m so afraid.<br />
:'''Horace Badun''': ''[points out the puppies]'' Look, Jasper: Do you suppose they disguised themselves?<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': Say now, Horace. That’s just what they did. Dogs is always paintin’ themselves black! ''[angrily hits Horace on the head]'' You idiot!<br />
:''They reach the van, where the labrador loads each puppy with his teeth onto the tailgate.''<br />
:'''Pongo''': ''[watches them from the window back at the blacksmith's shop]'' Well, so far, so good. C’mon, Perdy. Better get on your make-up. I’ll go ahead with the next bunch. ''[leaves to get the next bunch of puppies, until Perdita sees Cruella coming in her car and ducks down to avoid being seen by her as Cruella passes the window the other way. Pongo and the puppies wait to move outside, until Cruella stops her car. Perdita then sees Horace and Jasper coming and runs off to hide. Before Jasper gets a closer look, both he and Horace hear Cruella blowing her horn]''<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': ''[angrily shouts]'' Jasper! Horace! Well?<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': Aw, now, be reasonable, miss.<br />
:'''Horace Badun''': We’re froze clean to our bones.<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': We’ve been out all night and all day and with nothin’ to eat.<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': They’re somewhere in this village, and we’re going to find them! Now get going! ''[speeds off]''<br />
:''[Pongo and the labrador check to see if the coast is clear.]''<br />
:'''Pongo''': Do you think they’ve seen us?<br />
:'''Labrador''': No, but we’re running out of time.<br />
:'''Car Mechanic''': Try ‘er again, mate.<br />
:''As the truck driver starts his engine again, Perdita is now in her soot disguise as she leads the next batch of puppies.''<br />
:'''Pongo''': Hurry, Perdy. The van’s about to leave.<br />
:''Perdita brings the puppies over to the van and helps the labrador load them onto the tailgate, until they see Horace and Jasper checking a trash can and a rain pipe to search for the puppies.''<br />
:'''Labrador''': Better hurry.<br />
:''Perdita then runs back to the shop, as Pongo brings out the next batch of puppies. At the same time, Cruella's car turns round the fountain, as Cruella peers her head out the window to keep looking. The batch of puppies run behind the van, while the car mechanic makes final repairs to the engine as the driver looks on. Three of the puppies hide against the van's wall from Cruella, who clears the area. The labrador and his bunch of puppies come out from their hiding places, as Perdita brings the next bunch of puppies out to the van.''<br />
:'''Pongo''': I’ll get the rest. ''[leaves the grab the last bunch]''<br />
:'''Car Mechanic''': Well, that ought to do 'er. ''[closes the truck hood]'' At least, she’ll get you back to London.<br />
:'''Labrador''': Better get aboard, miss.<br />
:''The van has its engine working, as Perdita leaps onto the tailgate and helps with the loading. As Pongo returns to get the last bunch of puppies, he sees Horace and Jasper standing outside the blacksmith shop.''<br />
:'''Horace Badun''': Hey, Jasper. ''[whacks Jasper softly on the butt to get his attention. Then, Jasper shakes his fire poker on the door, scaring the puppies into hiding.]''<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': C’mon, Horace. ''[head go to the back of the blacksmith shop to investigate the interior, but Pongo catches up to the last of the puppies and leads them out just in time.]''<br />
:'''Pongo''': Hurry, kids! C’mon, kids. Run on ahead.<br />
:'''Freckles''': She’s watching us, Dad.<br />
:'''Pongo''': Keep going. Keep going.<br />
:''[Just then, melting icicle droplets fall on the puppies' soot, turning it into white spots and exposing their true identity. Pongo looks up and sees the droplets falling from the edge of a nearby roof as his fur is revealed]''<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': It can’t be! ''[glares in her side-view mirror]'' It’s impossible!<br />
:''[But, it is. With the soot splashing off from the droplets, she sees the Dalmatians' fur as the truck slowly pulls away. A clump of snow falls on Lucky, forcing Pongo to grab Lucky out of the snow, as his fur is revealed as well.]''<br />
:'''Labrador''': Run for it puppies!<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': JASPER! HORACE! JASPER! There they go! In the van! After them! AFTER THEM!<br />
:''[As Pongo and the Labrador bring the last two puppies for the van, Pongo and Lucky trip on the snow, as Horace and Jasper close in on them. Fortunately, as the labrador gives a puppy to Perdita as her true fur as well, he turns around and attacks Horace and Jasper, giving Pongo and Lucky enough time to escape. Pongo jumps onto the tailgate and gives Lucky to Perdita. The van hits a bump, almost forcing Pongo to fall off the tailgate, but he keeps a firm grip on the wood surface and pulls himself on board.]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[The van makes a left turn out of Dinsford and takes the main road to London. Pongo and Perdita look at the road going away behind them and look back at the puppies hiding in the furniture. Just then, Cruella de Vil and the Baduns drive up in their vehicles, with Cruella de Vil quickly following the van and the Baduns taking an opposite road.]''<br />
:'''Perdita''': Pongo Look! There she is again: Cruella!<br />
:''[Cruella de Vil comes from behind the van and rams against it to force it off the road]''<br />
:'''The Man''': ''[angrily]'' Hey, lady, what in thunder are you tryin’ to do?! Crazy woman driver!<br />
:''[Cruella de Vil re-appears from the left and slams into the van again. She thrashes against the van wildly, almost flinging the puppies away, while the driver struggles to keep his van on the road. Just then, she sees a road barrier and tries to stop her car, but it crashes through the barrier and ends up in a ditch, while the van crosses the bridge. That does not stop Cruella de Vil, as she puts her car in reverse and goes full speed ahead on the other side of the hill. Her car reaches the top and hits a grove of trees, shedding off some of its parts. Cruella de Vil is now a psychopath on wheels, as her car resembles a hot rod now.]''<br />
:'''Perdita''': ''[sees the Baduns traveling down a mountain road]'' Oh, Pongo, look it that!<br />
:''[The Baduns also have plans to crash the van. Jasper is wickedly confident about this, while Horace holds onto the roof support for dear life.]''<br />
:'''Horace Badun''': '''''JASPER!'''''<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': ''[wickedly cackling]'' There ain’t nothin’ to it. I’ll give him a bit of nudge, and shove him in the dirt! Ha-ha!<br />
:''[Then, Cruella de Vil returns, insane rage in her eyes, and the parents gape in horror. Cruella de Vil rams her car against the van's rear-end bumper and swerves the van in both directions to destroy it.]''<br />
:'''Pongo''': Perdy, watch out!<br />
:''[The battle continues with both drivers fighting for control over the road, until they near the junction where Horace and Jasper are preparing to make their move.]''<br />
:'''Horace Badun''': ''[Accidentally snaps the steering wheel off]'' '''''JASPER!'''''<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': '''''HORACE!'''''<br />
:''[Horace and Jasper's truck swerves out of control down the mountain and crashes into Cruella de Vil's car and both automobiles are smashed apart; their drivers are sent falling into the riverbank with the remains as the van carries the Dalmatians away to safety]''<br />
:'''Cruella de Vil''': ''[last words simmering with rage]'' You ''idiots!'' You... you '''''FOOLS!''''' ''[sobbing, completely hysterical]'' '''''OH, YOU IMBECILES!!!'''''<br />
:'''Jasper Badun''': ''[last words annoyed]'' Ah, shut up!<br />
:'''Horace Badun''': ''[last words]'' Ow!<br />
:''[Cruella de Vil slams her fist on a tire while she continues sobbing]''<br />
<br />
<hr width="50%"/><br />
:''[Last lines, Roger and Anita are sitting back home in London while trying to celebrate Christmas. Roger's "Cruella de Vil" song has become a hit on the radio, but Roger is feeling gloomy about it as he sits in his armchair]''<br />
:'''Radio Singer''': ♪Is the devil, But after time has worn, Anyway the shock... You come to realize. You've seen her kind of eyes, Watching you from underneath, A rock! Cruella de Vil, Cruella de-♪<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': ''[shuts off the radio]''<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': Roger, after all, that's your first big hit. It's made more money than we ever dreamed of.<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': Yes, I know. ''[walks over to their family portrait of Pongo and Perdita]'' I still can't believe that Pongo and Perdy would run away.<br />
:'''Nanny''': ''[unhappily sets the tea]''Here's a bit of Christmas cheer for you, If there's anything to be cheerful about. Oh, those dear little things. Sometimes at night I can hear them barking, but it always turns out I'm dreaming. ''[hears barking sounds and rushes to the front door and sees the Dalmatians happily galloping inside, in their true furs]''<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': ''[shocked]'' Roger, what on earth?!<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': They're Labradors!<br />
:'''Nanny''': Oh, no! They're covered with soot. ''[lovingly picks Lucky up]'' Look, here's Lucky!<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': Oh, Pongo, boy, is that you? Oh, Pongo, Pongo! Ho-ho! It's Pongo! ''[Pongo licks Roger's face]''<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': And Perdy, oh, my darling! ''[snuggles with Perdita]''<br />
:'''Nanny''': And Patch, and Rolly, and Penny, and Freckles! They're all here, the little dears!<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': It's a miracle!<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': Oh, Roger, what a wonderful Christmas present!<br />
:'''Nanny''': And, look! There's a whole lot more!<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': Look, Anita, puppies everywhere!<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, ho-ho!<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17.<br />
:'''Nanny''': 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36 over here!<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64!<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': 65, 66, Roger.<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74!<br />
:'''Nanny''': 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80!<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Twenty-one more.<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': Let's see now. That's 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100 and ''[after counting the puppies]'' ''101 Dalmatians!''<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': 101 Dalmatians? My, where did they all come from?<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': Oh-ho, Pongo, you ol' rascal!<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': What'll we do with them?"<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': "We'll keep' em."<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': "In this little house?"<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': "We'll buy a big place in the country! We'll have a plantation; They call it We'll have a Dalmatian plantation!<br />
:'''Pongo, Perdita and puppies''': ''[bark with happiness]''<br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': ''[hugs Roger]'' Oh, Rog, that's truly an inspiration.<br />
:'''Nanny''': It'll be a sensation!<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': Okay, We'll have a Dalmatian plantation. <br />
:'''Anita Radcliffe''': We'll have a Dalmatian plantation.<br />
:'''Nanny''': We'll have a Dalmatian plantation.<br />
:'''Roger Radcliffe''': A Dalmatian plantation, I say. ''[sits at the piano and hits a few keys, hen plays and sings his new song]'' ♪We'll have a Dalmatian Plantation, Our own little place with a view. The peace and the quiet We'll identify it. As our little dream, that's come true! Imagine that rustic location. The hills and the evergreen trees. And meadows of clovers. To run on over. As free as the pine scented breeze. We'll snuggle close in the evening. In the glow of burning logs. And all night long. We'll hear the song of crickets and frogs. And there, we will grow and we'll prosper. And never again will we roam. Can't wait to begin our. Sweet living that's in our. Dalmatian Plantation home! We'll have a Dalmatian Plantation. Dalmatian Plantation, I say. Our life-long vacation. Complete resignation. To sweet relaxation and play. With all of our remuneration. Our station seems truly sublime. And that my vocation. I'll feel inspiration. With no obligation to time. I'll know we'll find consolation. In our new location, dear. And tails will wag. Within this aggregation, dear. With hearts full of pure jubilation. And no provocation to roam. ''['''Rolly''': I'm hungry, mother.]'' We'll spend life's duration. Among vegetation. Around our plantation home.♪<br />
:''[Pongo and Perdita howl along as the chorus, followed by the puppies, as Nanny dances around]''<br />
:'''All''': ♪ Dalmatian Plantation home! ♪<br />
:''[As the celebration continues inside Roger and Anita's flat, the camera cuts outside and zooms out to focus on the skyline of London, as all the other dogs howl to celebrate the Dalmatians' return and their pets turn on their lights across the city.]''<br />
<br />
== Taglines ==<br />
* One great big ONEderful motion picture.<br />
* The Canine Caper of the Century.<br />
* Crafty Cruella... chasing every spotted puppy in town.<br />
<br />
== Cast ==<br />
* [[w:Rod Taylor |Rod Taylor]] - Pongo<br />
* [[w:Cate Bauer|Cate Bauer]] - Perdita<br />
* Barbara Beaird - Rolly<br />
* [[w:J. Pat O'Malley|J. Pat O'Malley]] - Jasper Badun and Colonel<br />
* [[w:Frederick Worlock|Fred Warlock]] - Horace Badun<br />
* [[w:Betty Lou Gerson|Betty Lou Gerson ]] - Cruella de Vil<br />
* [[w:Martha Wentworth|Martha Wentworth]] - Nanny<br />
* [[w:Tudor Owen |Tudor Owen]] - Towser<br />
* [[w:David Frankham|David Frankham]] - Sgt. Tibbs and Truck driver <br />
* [[w:Queenie Leonard|Queenie Leonard]] - Princess<br />
* [[w:Marjorie Bennett|Marjorie Bennett]] - Duchess<br />
* [[w:Lisa Davis (actress)|Lisa Davis]] - Anita Radcliffe<br />
* [[w:Thurl Ravenscroft|Thurl Ravenscroft]] - Captain<br />
* [[w:Ben Wright|Ben Wright]] - Roger Radcliffe<br />
<br />
== External links ==<br />
{{wikipedia}}<br />
* {{IMDb title|id=0055254|title=101 Dalmatians}}<br />
<br />
{{101 Dalmatians}}<br />
<br />
{{Authority control}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:1961 American animated films]]<br />
[[Category:Traditionally animated films]]<br />
[[Category:American children's animated adventure films]]<br />
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]<br />
[[Category:Films based on children's books]]<br />
[[Category:Films directed by Wolfgang Reitherman]]<br />
[[Category:Crime films]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films about dogs]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films about cats]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films about horses]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films about pets]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films set in London]]<br />
[[Category:The Walt Disney Company]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films about abduction]]<br />
[[Category:Films directed by Clyde Geronimi]]<br />
[[Category:Films directed by Wilfred Jackson]]</div>~2026-44937-18https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Shrek_2&diff=3990085Shrek 22026-08-17T18:50:17Z<p>~2026-44937-18: /* Dialogue */</p>
<hr />
<div>{{italic title}}<br />
[[File:Shrek 2.png|thumb|]]<br />
'''''[[w:Shrek 2|Shrek 2]]''''' is a [[w:2004 in film|2004]] [[w:animated film|animated film]] in which Princess Fiona's parents invite her and Shrek to dinner to celebrate her marriage, not knowing that the newlyweds are both ogres. It is a sequel to the [[Shrek|previous film]]. Produced by [[w:DreamWorks Animation|DreamWorks Animation]], streaming on [[w:Universal Pictures|Peacock]].<br />
:''Directed by [[w:Andrew Adamson|Andrew Adamson]], [[w:Kelly Asbury|Kelly Asbury]], and [[w:Conrad Vernon|Conrad Vernon]]. Written by [[w:Andrew Adamson|Andrew Adamson]], [[w:Joe Stillman|Joe Stillman]], [[w:J. David Stem|J. David Stem]], and [[w:David N. Weiss|David N. Weiss]].''<br />
{{center|'''Once Upon Another Time...'''([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}<br />
<br />
== Shrek ==<br />
* For five minutes. Could you not be yourself...'''FOR FIVE MINUTES?! '''''AHHHHH!!! ARE WE THERE YET?!?!'''''<br />
* Nice catch, Donkey. ''['''Puss''': Finally. Good use for your mouth.]''<br />
* A cute, button nose? Thick, wavy locks?? Taut, round buttocks?! I'm-I'm... ''['''Jill''': Gorgeous.]''<br />
*''[Banging the window, shouting for Fiona]'' Fiona! Fiona! Fiona! Fionaaaaa! ''['''Fairy Godmother''': Fiona? Fiona? Oh, shoot. I don't think they can us, pigeon.]''<br />
* But I love her. ''['''Fairy Godmother''': If you really love her, you'll let her go.]''<br />
* ''[from DVD menu, after pressing "New from DreamWorks Animation"]'' All right! Well, here we go!<br />
<br />
== Puss in Boots ==<br />
[[File:Puss in Boots, 2011, Australia-1.jpg|200px|thumb|Haha! Fear me if you dare!]]<br />
* Who dares enter my room?<br />
* You are told correct. But for this, I charge a great deal of money.<br />
* Hmm. You have engaged my valuable services. Your Majesty. Just tell me where i can find this ogre.<br />
* Ha-ha! Fear me if you dare!<br />
* Pray from mercy from Puss in Boots!<br />
* Finally! A good use for your mouth.<br />
* ''['''Guard''': Catnip.]'' That's, uh, not mine.<br />
* ''[from DVD menu, after pressing "Special Features"]'' Glad to be of assistance.<br />
<br />
== Fiona ==<br />
* Dear diary, Sleeping Beauty is having a slumber party tomorrow, but Dad says I can't go. He never lets me out after sunset. Dad says I'm going away for a while, must be like some finishing school or something. Mom says that when I'm old enough, my handsome Prince Charming will rescue me from my tower and bring me back to my family and, we'll all live happily ever after.<br />
* ''[from DVD menu, after pressing "Far Far Away Idol", burping]'' Excuse me!<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
:''[first lines]''<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': ''[his first words; narrating in his smoking, romantic, luscious, lustrous, regal, soothing and sexy voice]'' Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away, the King and Queen were blessed with a beautiful baby girl, and throughout the land, everyone was happy...until the sun went down, and they saw that their daughter was cursed with a frightful enchantment that took hold each and every night. Desperate, they sought the help of a fairy godmother who had them lock the young princess away in a tower, there to await the kiss of the handsome Prince Charming! ''[the scene shows a tall slightly muscular Prince Charming in a a cuirass and armor with a Red cape riding on his white horse]'' It was he who would chance the perilous journey through blistering cold and scorching desert, traveling for many days and nights, risking life and limb to reach the Dragon's Keep. ''[he rides through a forest, snowy mountains and barren desert for several days,arrives at the Dragon's Keep, an ominous castle surrounded by a moat of lava, but sees that the wooden bridge leading across the lava was destroyed by the Dragon. Uses his bow to shoot a roped arrow to a wooden post on the other side and uses it as a zipline. Looks up at a tower that rises above the rest of the castle, a light shining from its window. He enters the Dragon's Keep]'' For he was ''the'' bravest, ''[takes off his helmet showing his drop-dead gorgeous pretty slim face, bewitching blue eyes, high cheekbones, fair skin, pronounced smashing jawline and strong chin, thick exquisite stunning blonde eyebrows, elegant graceful slender pointy nose and his lips covered in cherry flavored glitter lip gloss forming an alluring bonny winsome ravishing pulchritudinous irresistible and heavenly smile]'' and most handsome... ''[unties his hairnet and shakes in slow motion his Just washed and clean with shampoo and conditioner, beautiful, majestic, glossy, gorgeous, shiny, silky, lustrous, glorious, flowing, marvelous, wavy, smooth, soft and ricocheting neck length blonde hair]'' ...In all the land. And it was destiny that his kiss ''[sprays perfume in his mouth to have a good breath]'' would break the dreaded curse. He alone would climb to the highest room of the tallest tower to the princess's chambers, cross the room to her sleeping silhouette, pull back the gossamer curtains to find her... ''[He continues through the abandoned castle and reaches the princess' tower. enters the princess' room and makes his way to her bed where a figure lays down, obscured by the bed's curtains, pulls the curtain and gasps; the figure is no princess--it's Big Bad Wolf.]'' <br />
:'''Big Bad Wolf''': What? <br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Princess... Fiona?<br />
:'''Big Bad Wolf''': No!<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Oh, thank heavens. Where is she?<br />
:'''Big Bad Wolf''': She's on her honeymoon. <br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Honeymoon? With whom?!<br />
<br />
----<br />
:'''Shrek''': It's so good to be home! Just you and me and...<br />
:'''Donkey''': Two can be as bad as one...<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Shrek! Fiona! Aren't you two a sight for sore eyes! Give us a hug, Shrek, you old love machine. And look at you, Mrs. Shrek. How 'bout a side of sugar for the steed?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey, what are you doing here?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, I was just taking care of your love nest for you!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, you mean like sorting the mail and watering the plants?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Yeah, and feeding the fish!<br />
:'''Shrek''': I don't have any fish.<br />
:'''Donkey''': You do now. I call that one Shrek and the other Fiona. That Shrek is a rascally devil. Get your... ''[mumbling to the "fish"]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, will you look at the time? I guess you'd better be going.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Don't you wanna tell me all about your trip? Or how about a game of Parcheesi?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Actually, Donkey, shouldn't you be getting home to Dragon?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, yeah, that. I don't know. She's been all moody and stuff lately. So I thought I'd move back in with you guys!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Well, you know, we're always happy to see you, Donkey. <br />
:'''Shrek''': But Fiona and I are married now. We need a little time, you know, to be together. Just with each other. Alone.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Say no more, say no more. You don't have to worry about a thing. I will always be here to make sure nobody bothers you.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Yes, roomie?<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''You're'' bothering ''me.''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, okay, all right. Cool. Me and Pinocchio were just gonna try to catch a tournament anyway, so maybe I'll see y'all on Sunday for a barbecue or something. ''[heads outside]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': He'll be fine. Now where were we? ''[realizes]'' Oh, I think I remember. ''[leans in to kiss Fiona, but suddenly sees Donkey in front of him]'' Donkey!<br />
:'''Donkey''': I know, I know! Alone! I'm going! I'm going! Hey, what do you want me to tell those other guys?<br />
<br />
----<br />
:'''Messenger''': ''[swats Reggie with the scroll]'' Enough, Reggie. ''[unfolds the scroll]'' "Dearest, Princess Fiona. You are hereby summoned to the Kingdom of Far, Far Away for a royal ball in celebration of your marriage at which time the King will bestow his royal blessing upon you ''[looks up to see Shrek]'' and your... uh... Prince Charming. Love, the King and Queen of Far, Far Away. ''[closes the scroll]'' aka, Mom and Dad."<br />
:'''Fiona''': Mom and Dad?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Prince Charming?<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[heads outside]'' Royal ball?! Can I come?<br />
:'''Shrek''': We're not going.<br />
:'''Fiona and Donkey''': ''[shocked]'' What?<br />
:'''Shrek''': I mean, don't you think they might be a bit... shocked to see you like this?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Well, they might be a bit surprised. But they're my parents, Shrek. They love me. And don't worry, they're gonna love you, too.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Yeah, right. Somehow, I don't think I'll be welcome at the country club.<br />
:'''Fiona''': Will you stop it? They're not like that.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Then how do you explain Sergeant Pompous and the Fancy Pants Club Band?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Oh, come on! You could at least give them a chance!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, to do what, sharpen their pitchforks?<br />
:'''Fiona''': No, they just want to give you their blessing.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, great. Now I need their blessing?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Well, if you wanna be a part of this family, yes!<br />
:'''Shrek''': And ''who'' says I wanna be a part of this family?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Um, ''you'' did, when you married ''me''!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Well, there's some fine print for you!<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[sighs exasperatedly]'' So, that's it? You won't come?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Trust me, it's a bad idea. We are not going, and ''that's final!''<br />
----<br />
:''[the onion carriage approaches slowly beside the sign "700 Miles to Far, Far Away" on it, beside a line up of trees and humongous mountains]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Shrek''': No.<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage surrounded by pouring rain and thunder on a stone-shaped mountain]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Not yet.<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage on a snowy mountain surrounded by a large line up of falling snow, the sign reads "200 Miles to Far, Far Away" also]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[sing-song]'' Okay, are we there yet?<br />
:'''Fiona''': No.<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage surrounded by leafless trees in the snow]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Shrek''': No!<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage next to stone-shaped walls made with baron rock]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are; we there, yet?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Yes.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Really?<br />
:'''Shrek''': No!<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage on a bridge next to a giant waterfall]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Fiona''': No!<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage passing the sign reading "100 Miles to Far, Far Away" in front of a line up of wooden oak trees]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Shrek''': No, we're not!<br />
:''[scene dissolves]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': ARE WE THERE YET?<br />
:'''Shrek/Fiona''': <big>'''NO!!!!'''</big><br />
:''[split second]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there y...<br />
:'''Shrek''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Hey, that's no...<br />
:'''Shrek''': That's not funny.<br />
:'''Donkey''': That's...<br />
:'''Shrek''': That's immature!<br />
----<br />
:''[Shrek gulps at the dinner table. To his sides sits Lillian and Fiona, and across from him sits Harold. Lillian looks around nervously and Harold angrily stares at Shrek. Shrek, unsure of how to eat the food on his plate properly, plops it in his mouth, and grins with the food still stuck in his teeth. Lillian cringes. Fiona tries to sip her drink courteously]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[lets out a loud belch that interrupts a conversation]'' Oh! Excuse me.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Better out than in, I always say. Eh, Fiona? ''[he and Fiona laughed]'' That's good enough... '' [they stopped laughing after neither Harold nor Lillian join in]'' I guess not.<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[from another room]'' What do you mean, "not on the list"? Don't tell me you don't know who I am. ''[bursts into the scene from the kitchen]'' Hey! What's happening, everybody? Thanks for waiting. You know I had the hardest time finding this place. ''[sits next to Harold]''<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[angrily]'' No, no! Bad Donkey! Bad, down!<br />
:'''Fiona''': No, no, no, Dad! Dad! It's all right! It's all right. He’s with us. He helped rescue me from the dragon.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Yup, that's me: the noble steed. ''[to the server]'' Hey, waiter! How ‘bout a bowl for the steed?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, boy. ''[slurps from the bowl]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': Um, Shrek?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Yeah? Oh, sorry! Great soup, Mrs Q. Mmm!<br />
:'''Fiona''': No, no, no. Darling. ''[demonstrates that the bowl he ate from is for washing his hands]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh. ''[chuckles]''<br />
:'''Lillian''': ''[as the rest does the same]'' So, Fiona, tell us about where you live?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Well, Shrek owns his own land. ''[to Shrek]'' Don't you, honey?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, yes! It's in an enchanted forest abundant in squirrels and...cute little duckies and--<br />
:'''Donkey''': What?! ''[laughs]'' I know you ain't talkin' about the swamp!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[clenches through his teeth]'' Donkey.<br />
:'''Harold''': An ogre from a swamp. Oh! How original. ''[Donkey dunks his mouth in his bowl and drinks]''<br />
:'''Lillian''': Well, I suppose that would be a fine place to raise the children...<br />
:''[Harold starts choking on his drink and Shrek accidentally swallows his spoon. They both cough, choke and splutter until Shrek spits out his spoon onto the table.]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[chuckles]'' It's a bit early to be thinking about that, isn't it?<br />
:'''Harold''': Indeed. I just started eating.<br />
:'''Lillian''': Harold!<br />
:'''Shrek''': What's that supposed to mean?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Dad, it's great, okay?<br />
:'''Harold''': Well, for his type, yes.<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[offended]'' ''My'' type?!<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[starts to leave, nervously]'' Uh, I gotta go to the bathroom.<br />
:'''The Chef''': ''[he and a host of servers enter the room with dinner, including a whole turkey, lobster, and a roast pig.]'' Dinner is-a served!<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[sits back down]'' Never mind, I can hold it. ''[The servers set the food on the table.]''<br />
:'''The Chef''': Bon appetit!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, Mexican food! My favorite!<br />
:'''Lillian''': Well, let's just not sit here with our tummies rumblin', everybody dig in.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Don't mind if I do, Lillian!<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[pulls the lobster towards himself before Donkey can take a bite out of it]'' So, I suppose any grandchildren I could expect from you would be--<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[pulls the turkey towards him]'' Ogres? ''Yes.''<br />
:'''Lillian''': Not that there's anything wrong with that. Right, Harold?<br />
:'''Harold''': Oh, no! No! Of course, not! That is, assuming you don't ''[ferociously and savagely stabs the knife into the lobster]'' ''EAT'' your own ''[ferociously and savagely slices open the lobster]'' ''YOUNG!''<br />
:'''Fiona''': Dad!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, no, we usually prefer the ones who've been... ''[ferociously and savagely rips off both drumsticks from the turkey]'' ''LOCKED'' away in a tower! ''[ferociously and savagely takes a bite out of one drumstick in his left hand]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[begging]'' Shrek, please!<br />
:'''Harold''': I only did that because I '''''love''''' her.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, aye! Daycare or dragon-guarded castle?! ''[ferociously and savagely pulls out a wish bone from the turkey]''<br />
:'''Harold''': You wouldn't understand! You're not her father!<br />
:''[Fiona sighs in exasperation and facepalms herself as Shrek and Harold continue to rip apart their food in ferocity and savagery, sending bits and pieces flying across the table.]''<br />
:'''Lillian''': It's so nice to have the family together for dinner. ''[Shrek and Harold stand up from their seats in rage and glare at each other, then ferociously and savagely tug over the roast pig in the middle of the table, accidentally sending it flying upwards]'' Harold!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Shrek!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Fiona?!<br />
:'''Harold''': Fiona!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Mom!<br />
:'''Lillian''': Harold!<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[happily]'' Donkey!<br />
:''[The roast pig lands on the table in front of Donkey and Lillian with a thud; Fiona angrily stands up and glares at Harold and Shrek, then runs out of the room, causing Harold to become enraged and Shrek to sigh.]''<br />
----<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[after popping the bubble, close encountering Fiona]'' My name is Fairy Godmother.<br />
:'''Fiona''': I have a fairy godmother!<br />
----<br />
:'''Shrek''': Fiona? Fiona?! ''[barges into the room along with Donkey. Fairy Godmother gasps at Shrek]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, you got a puppy?! All I got in my room was shampoo.<br />
:'''Fiona''': Oh, um, Fairy Godmother, furniture, I'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[confused]'' Your husband? What did you say? When did this happen?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Shrek is the one ''who'' rescued me.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[angrily]'' But that can't be right!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[wearily]'' Oh, great! More relatives!<br />
:'''Fiona''': She's just trying to help.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Good! She can help us pack. Get your coat, dear. We're leaving.<br />
:'''Fiona''': What?!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Leaving? I don't wanna leave.<br />
:'''Fiona''': When did you decide this?<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[as he is packing]'' Shortly after arrivin'.<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[remorsefully]'' Look, I'm sorry...<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': No, no, no, that's okay. I need to go anyway. But remember, dear, if you should ever need me, ''[whips out a "Happiness" business card]'' happiness is just a teardrop away.<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[snatches the "Happiness" card from Fairy Godmother; sarcastically]'' Thanks, but we've got ''all'' the happiness we need. Happy, happy, happy.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': So I see. ''[laughs in a not so good way]'' Let's go, Kyle. ''[Kyle whips the horses on the carriage and he and the Fairy Godmother leaves]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[sarcastically]'' Very nice, Shrek.<br />
:'''Shrek''': What? I told you that comin' here was a bad idea.<br />
:'''Fiona''': You could have at least tried to get along with my father.<br />
:'''Shrek''': You know, somehow, I don't think I was going to get daddy's blessing, even if I did want it.<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[as a bichon Frise starts barking]'' Well, do you think it might be nice if somebody asked me what I wanted?!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Sure. Do you want me to pack for you?!<br />
:'''Fiona''': You're unbelievable! You're behavin' like a... ''[hesitates and sighs]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Go on, say it!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Like an ''OGRE!''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Well, here's a newsflash for you, whether your parents like it or not, '''''I AM AN OGRE.''''' ''[the puppy barks even louder; Shrek furiously and roars at it, scares the puppy, who covers its face in fear]'' And guess what, Princess? That's '''''NOT''''' about to change.<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[sadly walks to the door]'' I've made changes for you, Shrek. Think about that. ''[leaves]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[deadpan]'' That's real smooth, Shrek. ''[imitating Shrek]'' ''I'M AN OGRE! UARGH!''<br />
:''[Shrek walks to the door and hears Fiona sob from outside of the bedroom and sighs in guilt, realizing what he has done to hurt her feelings. The camera pans northeast to Harold and Lillian's room.]''<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[after hearing Shrek and Fiona's argument]'' I knew this would happen!<br />
:'''Lillian''': You should. You started it.<br />
:'''Harold''': I can hardly believe that, Lillian. I mean, really, he's the ogre, not me.<br />
:'''Lillian''': I think, Harold, you're taking this a little too personally. ''This'' is Fiona's choice.<br />
:'''Harold''': Yes, but she was supposed to choose the prince ''we'' picked out for her! I mean, you expect me to give my blessings to this... this... thing?<br />
:'''Lillian''': Fiona does, and she'll never forgive you if you don't. I don't want to lose our daughter again, Harold. ''[Harold sighs]'' Oh, you act as if love is totally predictable. Don't you remember when we were young and, oh, we used to walk down by the lily pond, and they were in bloom.<br />
:'''Harold''': Our first kiss. IT'S NOT THE SAME! I don't think you realize that our daughter has married a MONSTER!<br />
:'''Lillian''': Oh, stop being such a drama king.<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[as Fairy Godmother's carriage approaches]'' Fine, fine! Pretend that there's nothing wrong! La-di-da, di-da, di-da! It's all wonderful! I like to know how could it get any worse!<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[opens the door]'' Hello, Harold.<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[scared]'' Aaah!<br />
:'''Lillian''': What happened?<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[hesitantly]'' Uh, nothing! Nothing, dear! Just the old crusade wound playing up a bit! ''[chuckles]'' I’ll just stretch it out here for a while. ''[closes the balcony door]''<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': You better get in. We need to talk.<br />
:'''Harold''': Actually, Fairy Godmother, just off to bed. ''[yawns]'' Already taken my pills, and they tend to make me a bit drowsy. So, um how about... we make this a quick visit. What? ''[bumps into two of her henchmen, who then get him in the carriage]'' Oh, hello.<br />
----<br />
:'''Harold''': So, what's new?<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[to Harold]'' You remember my son, Prince Charming? ''[shows him sitting next to her]''<br />
:'''Harold''': Charming! Is that you? My gosh, it's been years! When, uh... When did you get back?<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Oh, about five minutes ago, actually. ''[enraged]'' After I endured blistering winds, scorching desert, I climbed to the highest room of the tallest tower--<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[cuts him off]'' Tut, tut, tut. Mummy can handle this. ''[to King Harold, using the same tone he used earlier]'' He endures blistering winds and scorching desert! He climbs to the highest bloody room of the tallest bloody tower, and what does he find? Some gender-confused wolf telling him that ''his'' princess... '''''is already married!'''''<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[stammers]'' I mean, it wasn't my fault; He didn't get there in time.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': '''''STOP THE CAR!''' [the carriage screeches to a stop]'' Harold... ''[two of her henchmen crack their knuckles as the window rolls down]'' You forced me to do something I '''''really''''' don't want to do.<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[gasps]'' Where are we?<br />
:''[It is revealed that the carriage has pulled up at a fast-food restaurant drive-thru.]''<br />
:'''Fast-food Clerk''': ''[cheerfully]'' Well, hi there! Welcome to Friar's Fat Boy. May I take your order?<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': My diet is ruined! I hope you're happy. ''[to the fast-food clerk]'' Uh, okay. Two renaissance wraps, no mayo... chili rings...<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': I'll have the medieval meal.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': One medieval meal and, Harold. Curly fries?<br />
:'''Harold''': Oh no. No, thank you.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Sourdough soft taco, then? What do you want?<br />
:'''Harold''': No, really. I'm fine.<br />
:'''Fast-food Clerk''': ''[gives Fairy Godmother their meals]'' Your order, Fairy Godmother. ''[also gives her a free double-headed toy axe]'' And ''this'' comes with the medieval meal.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[gives the axe to Charming]'' Here you are, dear. ''[the carriage flies away]'' You see, we made a deal, Harold, and I assume you don't want me to go back on my part.<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[sighs deeply]'' Indeed not.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': So, Fiona and Charming ''will be together''.<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[doubtfully]'' Yes.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Oh, believe me, Harold. It's what's best, not only for your daughter.''[She takes a bite of her wrap taco and talks with her mouth full]'' But for your kingdom.<br />
:''[The carriage pulls up back at the castle and one of her henchmen shoves Harold out]''<br />
:'''Harold''': Well, what am ''I'' supposed to do about it?<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[tosses the double-headed toy axe into his hands]'' Use your imagination. ''[flies off]''<br />
----<br />
:'''Harold''': Uh, no. You must be mistaking me for someone else. Uh, excuse me. I'm looking for the Ugly Stepsister. ''[said Ugly Stepsister reveals herself]'' Ah. There you are. Right. You see, I need to have someone taken care of.<br />
:'''Ugly Stepsister''': Who's the guy?<br />
:'''Harold''': Um, he's not a guy, per se, um, he's ''[whispers]'' an ''ogre''.<br />
:''[The entire bar gasp at Harold saying "ogre"; the piano stops playing.]''<br />
:'''Ugly Stepsister''': Hey, buddy, let me clue you in. There's only one fellow who can handle a job like that, and, frankly... he don't like to be ''disturbed''.<br />
:'''Harold''': Where could I find him? ''[heads to the backroom and knocks, slowly opens the door]'' Uh, hello? ''[sees a pair of black boots beside the shining window]''<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[opens his eyes]'' Who dares enter my room?<br />
:'''Harold''': Sorry. I hope I'm not interrupting anything. But I was told that you are the one to handle an ogre... problem.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': You are told correct. ''[scoffs]'' But for this, I charge a great deal of money.<br />
:'''Harold''': Would this be enough? ''[places a bag of coins on the table]''<br />
:''[Puss in Boots stands up and raises his sword to slice off the string, causing gold coins to spill out of the sack.]''<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Hmm. You have engaged my valuable services. ''[grins]'' Your Majesty. Just tell me: Where I can find this ogre?<br />
----<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[to Shrek, after reading Fiona's diary]'' Oh, sorry; I hope I'm not interrupting anything.<br />
:'''Shrek''': No, no; I was, uh...reading a scary book.<br />
----<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[is an orange cat wearing black hat and cape]'' Ha-ha. Fear me, if you dare. ''[hisses]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, look, a little cat.<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[sees the sword in Puss' paws]'' Look out, Shrek! He got a piece!<br />
:'''Shrek''': It's a cat, Donkey. Come here little, kitty, kitty, kitty. Come on. Kitty. ''[Puss screeches and attacks Shrek and he screams]'' <br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[gasps in shock]'' Hold on, Shrek!<br />
:'''Shrek''': GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! OH, GOD!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Shrek, hold still! ''[kicks the Shrek's bottom and moans]'' Did I miss?<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[painfully]'' No, you got him.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[after he attacks Shrek]'' Now ye ogre! Pray for mercy from... ''[slashes "P" on the tree]'' Puss... in Boots!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[groans]'' I'll kill that cat!<br />
:'''Donkey''': No!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Ah-ha-ha-ha! ''[drops the sword, then starts heaves for a second, confusing Shrek and Donkey; spits out the hairball and coughs]'' Phew. ''[chuckles]'' Hairball.<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[disgusted]'' Oh, that is nasty!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[picks up Puss by the back of the neck]'' What do you reckon we should do with him?<br />
:'''Donkey''': I say we take the sword and neuter him right here; Give him the Bob Barker treatment!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[frightened]'' Oh, no! Por favor! Please! I implore you! It was nothing personal, Señor! I was doing it only for my family. My mother, she is sick. And my father lives off the garbage! The king offered me much in gold and I have a litter of brothers--<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[covers Puss' mouth with his finger]'' Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Fiona's father paid you to do this?<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': The rich king? Sí. ''[Shrek drops him to the ground, who screeches]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[sighs]'' Well, so much for Dad's royal blessing.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, come on, Shrek, don't feel bad. Almost everybody that meets you wants to kill you.<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[sits on the rock]'' Gee, thanks. ''[looks down at the river reflection and sighs]'' Maybe Fiona would have been better off if I were some sort of Prince Charming.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Sí, that's what the king said. ''[Donkey glares angrily]'' Oh, uh...sorry. I thought that question was directed at me.<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[walks over to Shrek]'' Shrek, Fiona knows you'd do anything for her.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Well, it's not like I wouldn't change if I could. I just...I just wish I could make her happy. ''[pauses out; to Donkey]'' Hold the phone... ''[pulls out Fairy Godmother's business card]'' "Happiness." ''[flips it over]'' "A tear drop away." Donkey, think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, man, where do I begin? Well first there was the time that old farmer tried to sell me for some magic beans. I ain't never got over that. Then this fool went off and had a party and he had the guests trying to pin the tail on me. Then they got all drunk and start beatin' me with a stick going, "Piñata! Piñata!" What is a piñata, anyway?!<br />
:'''Shrek''': No, Donkey, I need you to cry!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Yeah, well don't go projecting on me! I know you're feelin' bad, but you gotta let your own- ''[Puss angrily stomps on his hoof]'' '''''OW!!!!!!!!!''''' ''[tearfully]'' You little hairy litter-licking sack of... ''[Donkey's tears shed and Shrek lets it drop onto the card, conjuring a bubble with Fairy Godmother in it]''<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''["Voice Message" Bubble forms after landing]'' What? Is it on? Is it on? ''[clears her throat]'' This is Fairy Godmother. I'm either away from my desk or with a client, but if you come by the office, we'll be glad to give you a personal appointment. Have a Happy Ever After! ''[the bubble pops]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Ohhh.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Are you up for a little quest, Donkey?<br />
:'''Donkey''': That's more like it! Shrek and Donkey, on another whirlwind adventure! ''[singing]'' Ain't no stoppin' us now! Whoo! We're on the move!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Stop, ogre! ''[bows to Shrek]'' I have misjudged you.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Join the club. We've got jackets.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': On my honor, I am obliged to accompany you until I have saved your life as you have spared me mine.<br />
:'''Donkey''': I'm sorry, the position of annoying talking animal has already been taken. Let's go, Shrek! ''[sees Shrek walking to Puss]'' Shrek? ''[slightly pauses; Shrek looks down at Puss, who gives him a cute, helpless look; Shrek smiles]'' Shrek!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Aw, come on, Donkey. Look at him; in his wee little boots. You know, how many cats can wear boots? Honestly. Aw, let's keep him!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Say what?! ''[Puss purrs and Shrek marvels at his cuteness; groans in frustration]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Aw, listen. He's purring!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, so now it's cute!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Aw, come on, Donkey. Lighten up.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Lighten up?! Oh, I should lighten up?! Look who's telling who to lighten up!<br />
----<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[close encountering a humongous factory with colored smoke]'' Oh, no; that's the old Keebler's place! Let's just back away slowly.<br />
----<br />
:''[Shrek, Donkey, and Puss arrive at the Fairy Godmother's potion factory]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Hi. I'm here to see...<br />
:'''Jerome''': The Fairy Godmother. I'm sorry, she is not in.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[from the gramophone intercom]'' Jerome! Coffee and a monte Christo, now.<br />
:'''Jerome''': ''[sighs]'' Yes, Fairy Godmother. Right away. ''[to Shrek]'' Look, she's not seeing any client today, okay?<br />
:'''Shrek''': That's okay, buddy. We're from the union.<br />
:'''Jerome''': The union?<br />
:'''Shrek''': We represent the workers in all magical industries both evil and benign.<br />
:'''Jerome''': Oh, oh, right.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Are you feeling at all degraded or oppressed?<br />
:'''Jerome''': Uh... ''[turns the gramophone intercom away from him]'' A little. W-We don't even have dental.<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[whispers to Donkey]'' They don't even have dental. ''[to Jerome]'' Okay, we're just gonna have a look around. Oh, by the way, I think it would better if the Fairy Godmother didn't know we were here. Know what I'm saying? Huh?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Hmm?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Huh?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Huh? Huh?! '''''HUH?!?!'''''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Stop it!<br />
:'''Jerome''': Of course. Go right in.<br />
----<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Ah, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh... "Princess"! ''Cinderella''. Here we are: "Lived happily ever after." Oh. ''[fake chuckles]'' No ogres. Let's see. ''Snow White''. "A handsome prince." Ah, no ogres. ''[[Sleeping Beauty (1959 film)|Sleeping Beauty]]''. Oh, no ogres. ''[[Hansel and Gretel (2002 film)|Hansel and Gretel]]''. No. ''[[Thumbelina (1994 film)|Thumbelina]]''. No! ''The Golden Bird'', ''[[The Little Mermaid (1989 film)|The Little Mermaid]]'', ''[[Pretty Woman]]''. No, no, no, no, NO! You see, ogres don't live happily ever after.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Alright, look, lady!<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Don't you point those dirty green sausages at me! ''[pushes his finger out of her face]''<br />
:'''Worker''': Your Monte Christo and coffee. Oh! Sorry.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Ah, that's okay. We were just leaving. Very sorry to have wasted your time, Miss Godmother.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Just... go.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Come on, guys. ''[leaves]''<br />
----<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, yeah, you're right. I'm sure nice BM is the perfect solution for marital problems!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Elfa Seltzer.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Uh-uh.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Hex Lax. <br />
:'''Shrek''': No. Try "handsome".<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Sorry, no handsome. ''[finds a blue potion bottle labeled; "Happily Ever After" in the restricted shelf]'' Hey, how about Happily Ever After?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Well, what does it do? <br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': It says "Beauty Divine".<br />
:'''Donkey''': In some creatures, donkeys are revered as the wisest of all creatures. Especially us talking ones.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey! Then we'll have to. We got company. <br />
:'''Donkey''': Will you get on with this.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Hurry! ''[Puss pulls the blue potion, but drops it]'' Nice catch, Donkey.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Finally! A good use for your mouth. ''[More colors of potions drop, the siren sounds, and the door begins to close.]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Come on!<br />
----<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': What?! Where is he, mum? ''[raises his sword due to the incident of Fairy Godmother's potion factory]'' I shall rend their heads from their shoulders! I will smite them where he stabs. He will rue the very day HE STOLE MY KINGDOM FROM ME!<br />
----<br />
:''[After escaping Fairy Godmother's potion factory]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[reading the potion bottle]'' "Happily Ever After Potion. Maximum strength. "For you and your true love. If one of you drinks this, you both will be fine. Happiness, comfort and beauty divine."<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[confused]'' You both will be fine?<br />
:'''Shrek''': I guess it means it'll affect Fiona too. ''[opens the potion bottle]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Hey, man, this don't feel right. My donkey senses are tingling all over. So why don't you just drop that jug o' voodoo, and let's get out of here.<br />
:'''Shrek''': It says, "beauty divine". How bad can it be? ''[sniffs the potion and sneezes]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': A-ha! See, You're allergic to that stuff. You'll have a reaction. And if you think that I'll be smearing Vapor Rub all over your chest, think again!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Boss, just in case there is something wrong with the potion... allow me to take the first sip. It would be an honor to lay my life on the line for you.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, no, no. I don't think so. If there'll be any animal testing, I'll do it. That’s the best friend's job. Now give me that bottle. ''[snatches the potion bottle from Shrek's hands with his mouth and starts drinking it, but Shrek snatches it back from Donkey]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': How do you feel?<br />
:'''Donkey''': I don't ''feel'' any different. Do I look any different?<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': You still look like an ass to me.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Maybe it doesn't work on donkeys. Well, here's to us, Fiona.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Shrek? You drink that, there's no going back.<br />
:'''Shrek''': I know.<br />
:'''Donkey''': No more wallowing in the mud?<br />
:'''Shrek''': I know.<br />
:'''Donkey''': No more itchy butt crack?<br />
:'''Shrek''': I know!<br />
:'''Donkey''': But you love being an ogre!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''I know!'' ''[sighs]'' But I love Fiona more. ''[starts chugging the potion]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Shrek, no! Wait! ''[Shrek swallows the potion, then feels his stomach gurglin'. Donkey and Puss hides behind the rock, then Shrek farts]'' Got to be... Shrek, I think you grabbed the "Farty Ever After" potion.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Maybe it's a dud.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Or maybe Fiona and I were never meant to be.<br />
:''[Dark storm clouds appear above Shrek, Donkey and Puss.]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Uh-oh. What did I tell you? I feel something coming on. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die! ''[rain starts pouring, soaking the trio and getting them wet]'' Oh, sweet sister, mother of mercy! '''I'm melting!''' '''''I'M MELTING!!'''''<br />
:'''Shrek''': It's just the rain, Donkey.<br />
:''[Donkey chuckles as they head to a barn for some shelter. The blue ooze from Shrek's sneeze reaction on the mushroom transforms into a flower rose.]''<br />
----<br />
:''[After Shrek, Donkey and Puss arrived at the barn for shelter for the night]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Shrek, don't worry. Things seem bad because it's dark and rainy and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you. ''[Puss hisses at him]'' It'll be better in the morning. You'll see. ''[sings, then gets dizzy]'' The sun'll come out... Tomorrow... Bet your bottom...<br />
:'''Shrek''': Bet my bottom?<br />
:'''Donkey''': I'm comin', Elizabeth! ''[faints]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey? A-Are you all right?<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Hey, boss. Let's shave him.<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[gets dizzy]'' D-Donkey...? ''[groans and faints and land on Puss’ tail as he yowls off-screen]''<br />
----<br />
:''[Later this morning, the Jill and maidens woke up]''<br />
:'''Jill''': Good morning, sleepyhead.<br />
:'''Maidans''': Good morning! We lover your kitty.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, my head.<br />
:'''Jill''': Here. I fetched you a pail of water.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Thanks. ''[sees his human hands, picks up the wooden bucket; sees a human version of himself, drops the bucket and spills water]'' Oh. ''[checks his skin to make sure]'' A cute, button nose? Thick, wavy locks? Thick, round buttocks? I must be...<br />
----<br />
:'''Knight''': Halt!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Tell Princess Fiona her husband Sir Shrek is here to see you!<br />
:''[A white bird flies past one of the windows of the Far, Far Away Castle and goes to Fiona's room. Fiona looks at the reflection, realizing she is a human again, and screams.]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Fiona!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Shrek?<br />
----<br />
:''[the Fairy Godmother raises her wand and doors close, the Chest of Drawers blocks Shrek's way]''<br />
:'''Talking Chest Drawer''': You wanna dance, pretty boy?<br />
----<br />
:'''Doris''': There you go, boys.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Just leave the bottle, Doris.<br />
:'''Doris''': Hey, why the long face?<br />
:'''Shrek''': It was all just a stupid mistake. I never should have rescued her from that tower in the first place.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': I hate Mondays.<br />
:'''Donkey''': I can't believe you're just gonna walk away from the best thing that happened to you.<br />
:'''Shrek''': What choice do I have? She loves that pretty boy, Prince Charming.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Aw, come on, Shrek. Is he really that good-looking?<br />
:'''Doris''': Are you kidding? He's gorgeous! He has a face that looks like it was carved by angels.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Oh, he sounds dreamy.<br />
:'''Shrek''': You know, shockingly, this isn't making me feel any better. ''[sighs]'' Look, guys, it's for the best. Mom and Dad approve, and Fiona gets the man she's always dreamed of. Everybody wins.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Except you. I don't get it, Shrek. You love Fiona.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Aye. And that's why I have to let her go.<br />
:'''Harold''': Um, excuse me. Is she here?<br />
:'''Doris''': She's, uh, in the back.<br />
:'''Harold''': Oh, hello again!<br />
----<br />
:'''Harold''': Fairy Godmother. Charming.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Ugh, you'd better have a good reason for dragging us down here, Harold.<br />
:'''Harold''': Well, I'm afraid Fiona isn't really... warming up to Prince Charming.<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Um, FYI, not my fault.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': No, no, of course it's not, dear.<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': I mean, how charming can I be when I have to pretend that I'm that dreadful ogre?<br />
:'''Harold''': No, no, it's nobody's fault. Perhaps it's best if we just call the whole thing off, okay?<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother and Prince Charming''': ''[in unison; shocked]'' What?!<br />
:'''Harold''': I mean, you can't force someone to fall in love!<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Oh, I beg to differ. I do it all the time. ''[pulls out the Love Potion 9 vial and hands it to Harold, and he takes it]'' Have Fiona drink this and she'll fall in love with the first man she kisses, which will be Charming.<br />
:'''Harold''': Umm, no.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': What did you say?<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[stutters]'' I...I...I can't. I...I won't do it.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Oh, yes, you will. If you remember, I helped you with your happily ever after. And I can '''''take''''' it away just as easily. ''[sticks her wand in his face]'' Is that what you want? Is it?<br />
:'''Harold''': No.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[puts down her wand]'' Good boy. Now, we have to go. I need to do Charming's hair before the ball. He's hopeless. Y'know he's all high in the front, he can never get to the back. You always need someone to do the back of your hair.<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Oh. Thank you, mother.<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[from outside the window; shocked]'' MOTHER?! ''[Fairy Godmother, Charming and Harold turn their heads fast to see Shrek, Donkey and Puss outside the window, hearing everything]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Um, Mary! A talking horse!<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[enraged]'' The ogre! ''[Shrek, Donkey, and Puss ride away from the Poison Apple; flies after them, telling the knights to get them; furious] '''STOP THEM! THIEVES! BANDITS! STOP THEM!'''''<br />
----<br />
:'''Magic Mirror''': We'll be right back for more ''Far, Far Away Ball'' after these messages.<br />
:'''Gingy''': I hate these ball shows. They bore me to tears! Flip over to Wheel of Torture!<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': I'm not flipping anywhere; sir, 'til I see Shrek and Fiona!<br />
----<br />
:'''Harold''': Darling? Ah, I thought I might find you here. How about a nice hot cup of tea before the ball?<br />
:'''Fiona''': I'm not going.<br />
:'''Harold''': But the whole kingdom's turned out to celebrate your marriage.<br />
:'''Fiona''': There's just one problem: That’s not my husband.''[sees Prince Charming]'' I mean, look at him!<br />
:'''Harold''': Yes, he is a bit different, but people change for the ones they love you’d be surprised how much I change for your mother change.<br />
:'''Fiona''': "Change"? ''[about Prince Charming]'' He's completely lost his mind.<br />
:'''Harold''': Honey, why not come down to the ball and give him another chance? I mean, you might find you like this new Shrek.<br />
:'''Fiona''': But it's the ''old'' one I fell in love with, dad!<br />
:'''Harold''': Uh, honey, that’s mine. Decaf. Otherwise, I'm up all night.<br />
:'''Fiona''': Thanks.<br />
----<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[screaming]'' I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE! YOU CAN'T LOCK US LIKE THIS! LET ME GO! WHAT ABOUT MY MIRANDA RIGHTS?! You're supposed to say, "You have the right to remain silent." '''NOBODY SAID I HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!'''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey, you ''have'' the right to remain silent. What you lack is the capacity.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[camera shows just him]'' I must hold on before I, too, go totally mad.<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': Shrek? Donkey?<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[looks up to see fairy tale creatures above him]'' Too late.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Gingy, Pinocchio, get us out of here!<br />
----<br />
:'''Shrek''': Quick, tell a lie!<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': What should I say?<br />
:'''Gingy''': Anything, but quick!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Say something crazy, like, "I'm wearing ladies underwear!"<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': I'm wearing ladies underwear.<br />
:''[But nothing happens; he is telling the truth]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Are you?<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': I most certainly am not! ''[his nose extends]''<br />
:'''Mini Donkey''': It looks like you most certainly am are!<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': I am not! ''[his nose extends more]''<br />
:'''Puss''': What kind?<br />
:'''Gingy''': It's a thong! ''[pulls at his pink thong and lets it slap back]''<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': Ow! They're briefs!<br />
:'''Gingy''': ''[takes the key and runs across Pinocchio's nose as it continues to extend with each denial]'' Are not!<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': Are too!<br />
:'''Gingy''' Are not!<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': Are too!<br />
:'''Gingy''': ''[reaches Shrek and uses the key to free Shrek, Donkey, and Puss]'' Alright, here we go. Hang tight.<br />
:''[Shrek lands his feet on the cell floor, followed by Puss.]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Wait, wait, wait! Ow! Ow! Hey, hey, hey! ''[lands on his back on the cell floor]'' Ow! ''[Shrek looks at the Far Far Away palace from outside the window]''<br />
:'''Blind Mouse''': ''[muffled; to Puss]'' Excuse me?!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[hears a muffled voice]'' What? ''[sees the mouse's tail sticking out from Puss' mouth; shocked]'' Puss!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[realizing he has Blind Mouse in his mouth]'' Hmm?<br />
:'''Blind Mouse''': Pardon me? Would you mind letting me go?<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[spits Blind Mouse out; sheepishly]'' Sorry, boss.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Quit messing around! We've got to stop that kiss!<br />
:'''Donkey''': I thought you were gonna let her go.<br />
:'''Shrek''': I was, but I can't let him do this to Fiona.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Boom! That's what I like to hear. Look who's finally coming around!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': It's impossible! We'll never get in. The castle is guarded and there is a moat and everything!<br />
:'''Gingy''': Well, folks, it looks like we're up chocolate creek without a popsicle stick. ''[pausing; Shrek looks at him]'' What?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Do you still know the muffin man?<br />
:'''Gingy''': Well, sure. He's down on Drury Lane. Why?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Because we're gonna need flour. Lots and lots of flour.<br />
:''[Shrek and Gingy soon arrive at the bakery, where Shrek knocks on the door. The muffin man opens the door.]<br />
:'''Muffin Man''': ''[surprised]'' Gingy!<br />
:'''Gingy''': Fire up the ovens, Muffin Man. We've got a big order to fill!<br />
:''[cut to the outside of the bakery, thunder clapping is seen, and deep laughter is heard.]<br />
:'''Gingy''': [[Frankenstein (1910 film)|IT'S ALIVE!]]<br />
----<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[puzzled]'' Is that glitter on your lips?<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Cherry flavored. Want a taste?<br />
----<br />
:''[Shrek and Donkey barged into the ball to rescue Fiona.]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Stop! ''[to Charming]'' Hey, ''you!'' Back away from ''my'' wife!<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[puzzled]'' Shrek? ''[Everyone gasps]''<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''You'' couldn't just go back to ''your'' swamp and ''leave'' well enough alone!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[to the three little pigs]'' NOW!<br />
----<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Harold! You were supposed to give her the potion!<br />
:'''Harold''': Well, I guess I gave her the wrong tea.<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': ''[his last words]'' Mommy! ''[grabs the wand from Puss and throws to Fairy Godmother]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': Mommy?<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[catches her wand and growls; last and final words before her defeat]'' I told you, ogres don't live ''HAPPILY EVER '''AFTER!'''''<br />
:'''Lillian''': Harold!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Shrek!<br />
:'''Harold''': ''NO!'' ''[a transformation into a frog zaps his armor. Floats way up, checking to make sure and raises her wand, then disappears, turning into an explosion burst bubbles, only leaving her wand and her broken glasses that fell on the ground]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': Oh, Dad! ''[cries]''<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': Is he...<br />
:'''Gingy''': Yep. ''[a frog ribbit is heard]'' He croaked.<br />
:'''Lillian''': Harold?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Dad?<br />
:'''Harold''': I'd hoped you'd never see me like this.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Yeah, and he gave you a hard time.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey!<br />
:'''Harold''': No, no, he's right. I'm sorry to both of you. I only wanted what was best for Fiona. But now I can see she finally has it. Shrek, Fiona, will you accept an old frog's apologies and my blessing?<br />
----<br />
:''[The clock strucks midnight]''<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Boss! The Happily Ever After potion!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Midnight! Fiona. Is this what you want? To be this way forever?<br />
:'''Fiona''': What?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Because if you kiss me now... we can stay like this.<br />
:'''Fiona''': You'd do that? For me?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Yes.<br />
:'''Fiona''': I want what any princess wants. To live happily ever after... ''[Shrek starts to lean a little closer to kiss her, but she puts her hand on his mouth]'' With the ogre I married. ''[Shrek smiles]''<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Whatever happens, I must not cry! You cannot make me cry! ''[starts to sob quietly]''<br />
:''[Shrek and Fiona hold there hands and the levitate, and Donkey too. They begin to glow blue, suddenly, the blue glow turns gold, Lillian, Harold and the Fairytale Creatures watches Shrek, Fiona, Donkey break the spell. Shrek, Fiona, Donkey goes down to the ground]''<br />
:'''Gingy''': Wow!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[back to his normal form]'' Hey, you still look like a noble steed to me.<br />
:''[Donkey smiles as well]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': Now...where we're we?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, I remembered.<br />
----<br />
:''[last lines; post credits]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[singing]'' [[w:All by Myself|All by myself, Don't wanna be all by myself... anymore]]<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[enters with two ladies]'' ''Amigo.'' We are off to the [[w:Kit Kat|Kit Kat]] club. Come on, join us.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Thanks, compadre. I'm... I'm not in the mood.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': We will cheer you up! Find you a nice burro! ''[a roar is heard]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[delighted]'' Hey, baby! ''[the Dragon from the [[Shrek|first film]] flies in the scene.]'' Hey, that's my girl! Yeah! All right! Baby, where you been? ''[Dragon cries]'' I’m sorry, too. I should've stayed. But Shrek had this thing he had to do. What? Say it one more time. What you talking about? Are you serious? ''[a baby dronkey flies in]''<br />
:'''Dronkey''': Papa!<br />
:'''Donkey''': '''''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!''''' ''[One breathes fire which Donkey avoids, the baby dronkeys fly in to hug him. Donkey laughs.]'' Look at our little mutant babies! ''[the Dragon blows a pink heart-shaped smoke, the scene cuts to black.]'' I gotta get a job.<br />
<br />
==''Far Far Away Idol''==<br />
:'''[[Simon Cowell]]''': You're on fire, Donkey.<br />
:'''Shrek''': No, you're really on fire!<br />
----<br />
:'''Simon Cowell''': Come on, get real, Pinocchio.<br />
:'''Shrek''': I find his performance quite wooden, actually. ''[laughs]'' Wooden.<br />
----<br />
:'''Simon Cowell''': ''[as Fiona plants a floor trap on Prince Charming while Shrek holds the red button]'' That's the artist formally known as Prince Charming.<br />
----<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[watching Gingy & Tinker Bell dance and form a tune to The Archies "Sugar"]'' They're so sweet together.<br />
:'''Simon Cowell''': I just knew you'd say that, Fiona. ''[groans]'' What's next, a singing donut?<br />
----<br />
:'''Simon Cowell''': The cat's got my tongue, and possibly my vote. ''[notices Shrek and Fiona are not in their seats]'' Ugh. Always breaking the rules!<br />
----<br />
:''[after voting]''<br />
:'''Simon Cowell''': And the next ''Far, Far Away Idol'' is...<br>''[selecting Pinocchio]'' No, you got to be joking.<br>''[selecting Doris]'' Sorry, that is complete rubbish.<br>''[selecting Big Bad Wolf]'' Impossible, I won't allow it!<br>''[selecting Prince Charming]'' Please, I don't think so!<br>''[selecting Three Blind Mice]'' Sorry, I'm afraid you chose wrong.<br>''[selecting Gingy]'' Ugh, now you're being ridiculous!<br>''[selecting Captain Hook]'' That is just wrong!<br>''[throws away the note]'' Nope! It's me, everyone! ''[sings "My Way" by Frank Sinatra as Shrek and his friends cheer]''<br />
:'''Magic Mirror''': Ladies and gentlemen, our time is up here; but we'll look forward to see you next time on ''Far, Far Away Idol''!<br />
<br />
==Cast==<br />
* '''[[w:Mike Myers|Mike Myers]]''' — [[w:Shrek (character)|Shrek]] (speaking voice)<br />
** '''[[w:Michael Gough|Michael Gough]]''' – [[w:Shrek (character)|Shrek]] (singing voice)<br />
* '''[[Eddie Murphy]]''' — [[w:Donkey (Shrek)|Donkey]]<br />
* '''[[Cameron Diaz]]''' — [[w:Princess Fiona|Princess Fiona]]<br />
* '''[[Julie Andrews]]''' — Queen Lillian<br />
* '''[[w:Antonio Banderas|Antonio Banderas]]''' — [[w:Puss in Boots (Shrek)|Puss in Boots]]<br />
* '''[[John Cleese]]''' — King Harold<br />
* '''[[Rupert Everett]]''' — Prince Charming<br />
* '''[[w:Jennifer Saunders|Jennifer Saunders]]''' — [[w:Fairy Godmother (Shrek)|The Fairy Godmother]]<br />
* '''[[Frank Welker]]''' — [[w:Dragon (Shrek)|Dragon]], Dronkeys<br />
* '''[[w:Aron Warner|Aron Warner]]''' — Big Bad Wolf<br />
* '''[[w:Cody Cameron|Cody Cameron]]''' — Pinocchio, Three Pigs<br />
* '''[[w:Conrad Vernon|Conrad Vernon]]''' — Gingy, Muffin Man, Mongo<br />
* '''[[w:Christopher Knights|Chris Knights]]''' — Blind Mouse<br />
* '''[[Larry King]]''' — Doris the Ugly Stepsister<br />
* '''[[w:Chris Miller (animator)|Chris Miller]]''' — Magic Mirror<br />
* '''[[Joan Rivers|Joan Rivers — Herself]]'''<br />
<br />
== See also ==<br />
* ''[[Shrek]]'', a 2001 animated film.<br />
* ''[[Shrek the Third|Shrek 3]]'', the 2007 third film.<br />
* ''[[Shrek Forever After|Shrek 4]]'', the 2010 fourth film.<br />
* ''[[Puss in Boots (2011 film)|Puss in Boots]]'', a 2011 spin-off animated film.<br />
* ''[[Puss in Boots: The Last Wish|Puss in Boots 2: The Last Wish]]'', a 2022 sequel<br />
<br />
==Taglines==<br />
* In Summer 2004, They're Back for More.<br />
* Once Upon Another Time...<br />
* Not So Far, Far Away.<br />
<br />
== External links ==<br />
{{wikipedia}}<br />
* {{IMDb title|id=0298148|title=Shrek 2}}<br />
<br />
{{Shrek}}<br />
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{{Authority control}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:2004 computer-animated films]]<br />
[[Category:2004 American animated films]]<br />
[[Category:2000s American animated films]]<br />
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]<br />
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]<br />
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]<br />
[[Category:American sequel films]]<br />
[[Category:Shrek]]<br />
[[Category:Screenplays by Joe Stillman]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films about royalty]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films set in castles]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films set in the Middle Ages]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films about dragons]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films about cats]]<br />
[[Category:Films about princes]]<br />
[[Category:Animated buddy films]]<br />
[[Category:Fairy films]]<br />
[[Category:Films directed by Conrad Vernon]]<br />
[[Category:2000s English-language films]]<br />
[[Category:Films about potions]]<br />
[[Category:Films directed by Andrew Adamson]]<br />
[[Category:Films directed by Kelly Asbury]]</div>~2026-44937-18https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Shrek_2&diff=3990081Shrek 22026-08-17T18:43:29Z<p>~2026-44937-18: </p>
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<div>{{italic title}}<br />
[[File:Shrek 2.png|thumb|]]<br />
'''''[[w:Shrek 2|Shrek 2]]''''' is a [[w:2004 in film|2004]] [[w:animated film|animated film]] in which Princess Fiona's parents invite her and Shrek to dinner to celebrate her marriage, not knowing that the newlyweds are both ogres. It is a sequel to the [[Shrek|previous film]]. Produced by [[w:DreamWorks Animation|DreamWorks Animation]], streaming on [[w:Universal Pictures|Peacock]].<br />
:''Directed by [[w:Andrew Adamson|Andrew Adamson]], [[w:Kelly Asbury|Kelly Asbury]], and [[w:Conrad Vernon|Conrad Vernon]]. Written by [[w:Andrew Adamson|Andrew Adamson]], [[w:Joe Stillman|Joe Stillman]], [[w:J. David Stem|J. David Stem]], and [[w:David N. Weiss|David N. Weiss]].''<br />
{{center|'''Once Upon Another Time...'''([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}<br />
<br />
== Shrek ==<br />
* For five minutes. Could you not be yourself...'''FOR FIVE MINUTES?! '''''AHHHHH!!! ARE WE THERE YET?!?!'''''<br />
* Nice catch, Donkey. ''['''Puss''': Finally. Good use for your mouth.]''<br />
* A cute, button nose? Thick, wavy locks?? Taut, round buttocks?! I'm-I'm... ''['''Jill''': Gorgeous.]''<br />
*''[Banging the window, shouting for Fiona]'' Fiona! Fiona! Fiona! Fionaaaaa! ''['''Fairy Godmother''': Fiona? Fiona? Oh, shoot. I don't think they can us, pigeon.]''<br />
* But I love her. ''['''Fairy Godmother''': If you really love her, you'll let her go.]''<br />
* ''[from DVD menu, after pressing "New from DreamWorks Animation"]'' All right! Well, here we go!<br />
<br />
== Puss in Boots ==<br />
[[File:Puss in Boots, 2011, Australia-1.jpg|200px|thumb|Haha! Fear me if you dare!]]<br />
* Who dares enter my room?<br />
* You are told correct. But for this, I charge a great deal of money.<br />
* Hmm. You have engaged my valuable services. Your Majesty. Just tell me where i can find this ogre.<br />
* Ha-ha! Fear me if you dare!<br />
* Pray from mercy from Puss in Boots!<br />
* Finally! A good use for your mouth.<br />
* ''['''Guard''': Catnip.]'' That's, uh, not mine.<br />
* ''[from DVD menu, after pressing "Special Features"]'' Glad to be of assistance.<br />
<br />
== Fiona ==<br />
* Dear diary, Sleeping Beauty is having a slumber party tomorrow, but Dad says I can't go. He never lets me out after sunset. Dad says I'm going away for a while, must be like some finishing school or something. Mom says that when I'm old enough, my handsome Prince Charming will rescue me from my tower and bring me back to my family and, we'll all live happily ever after.<br />
* ''[from DVD menu, after pressing "Far Far Away Idol", burping]'' Excuse me!<br />
<br />
==Dialogue==<br />
:''[first lines]''<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': ''[his first words; narrating in his smoking, romantic, luscious, lustrous, regal, soothing and sexy voice]'' Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away, the King and Queen were blessed with a beautiful baby girl, and throughout the land, everyone was happy...until the sun went down, and they saw that their daughter was cursed with a frightful enchantment that took hold each and every night. Desperate, they sought the help of a fairy godmother who had them lock the young princess away in a tower, there to await the kiss of the handsome Prince Charming! ''[the scene shows a tall slightly muscular Prince Charming in a a cuirass and armor with a Red cape riding on his white horse]'' It was he who would chance the perilous journey through blistering cold and scorching desert, traveling for many days and nights, risking life and limb to reach the Dragon's Keep. ''[he rides through a forest, snowy mountains and barren desert for several days,arrives at the Dragon's Keep, an ominous castle surrounded by a moat of lava, but sees that the wooden bridge leading across the lava was destroyed by the Dragon. Uses his bow to shoot a roped arrow to a wooden post on the other side and uses it as a zipline. Looks up at a tower that rises above the rest of the castle, a light shining from its window. He enters the Dragon's Keep]'' For he was ''the'' bravest, ''[takes off his helmet showing his drop-dead gorgeous pretty slim face, bewitching blue eyes, high cheekbones, fair skin, pronounced smashing jawline and strong chin, thick exquisite stunning blonde eyebrows, elegant graceful slender pointy nose and his lips covered in cherry flavored glitter lip gloss forming an alluring bonny winsome ravishing pulchritudinous irresistible and heavenly smile]'' and most handsome... ''[unties his hairnet and shakes in slow motion his Just washed and clean with shampoo and conditioner, beautiful, majestic, glossy, gorgeous, shiny, silky, lustrous, glorious, flowing, marvelous, wavy, smooth, soft and ricocheting neck length blonde hair]'' ...In all the land. And it was destiny that his kiss ''[sprays perfume in his mouth to have a good breath]'' would break the dreaded curse. He alone would climb to the highest room of the tallest tower to the princess's chambers, cross the room to her sleeping silhouette, pull back the gossamer curtains to find her... ''[He continues through the abandoned castle and reaches the princess' tower. enters the princess' room and makes his way to her bed where a figure lays down, obscured by the bed's curtains, pulls the curtain and gasps; the figure is no princess--it's Big Bad Wolf.]'' <br />
:'''Big Bad Wolf''': What? <br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Princess... Fiona?<br />
:'''Big Bad Wolf''': No!<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Oh, thank heavens. Where is she?<br />
:'''Big Bad Wolf''': She's on her honeymoon. <br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Honeymoon? With whom?!<br />
<br />
----<br />
:'''Shrek''': It's so good to be home! Just you and me and...<br />
:'''Donkey''': Two can be as bad as one...<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Shrek! Fiona! Aren't you two a sight for sore eyes! Give us a hug, Shrek, you old love machine. And look at you, Mrs. Shrek. How 'bout a side of sugar for the steed?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey, what are you doing here?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, I was just taking care of your love nest for you!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, you mean like sorting the mail and watering the plants?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Yeah, and feeding the fish!<br />
:'''Shrek''': I don't have any fish.<br />
:'''Donkey''': You do now. I call that one Shrek and the other Fiona. That Shrek is a rascally devil. Get your... ''[mumbling to the "fish"]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, will you look at the time? I guess you'd better be going.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Don't you wanna tell me all about your trip? Or how about a game of Parcheesi?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Actually, Donkey, shouldn't you be getting home to Dragon?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, yeah, that. I don't know. She's been all moody and stuff lately. So I thought I'd move back in with you guys!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Well, you know, we're always happy to see you, Donkey. <br />
:'''Shrek''': But Fiona and I are married now. We need a little time, you know, to be together. Just with each other. Alone.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Say no more, say no more. You don't have to worry about a thing. I will always be here to make sure nobody bothers you.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Yes, roomie?<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''You're'' bothering ''me.''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, okay, all right. Cool. Me and Pinocchio were just gonna try to catch a tournament anyway, so maybe I'll see y'all on Sunday for a barbecue or something. ''[heads outside]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': He'll be fine. Now where were we? ''[realizes]'' Oh, I think I remember. ''[leans in to kiss Fiona, but suddenly sees Donkey in front of him]'' Donkey!<br />
:'''Donkey''': I know, I know! Alone! I'm going! I'm going! Hey, what do you want me to tell those other guys?<br />
<br />
----<br />
:'''Messenger''': ''[swats Reggie with the scroll]'' Enough, Reggie. ''[unfolds the scroll]'' "Dearest, Princess Fiona. You are hereby summoned to the Kingdom of Far, Far Away for a royal ball in celebration of your marriage at which time the King will bestow his royal blessing upon you ''[looks up to see Shrek]'' and your... uh... Prince Charming. Love, the King and Queen of Far, Far Away. ''[closes the scroll]'' aka, Mom and Dad."<br />
:'''Fiona''': Mom and Dad?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Prince Charming?<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[heads outside]'' Royal ball?! Can I come?<br />
:'''Shrek''': We're not going.<br />
:'''Fiona and Donkey''': ''[shocked]'' What?<br />
:'''Shrek''': I mean, don't you think they might be a bit... shocked to see you like this?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Well, they might be a bit surprised. But they're my parents, Shrek. They love me. And don't worry, they're gonna love you, too.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Yeah, right. Somehow, I don't think I'll be welcome at the country club.<br />
:'''Fiona''': Will you stop it? They're not like that.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Then how do you explain Sergeant Pompous and the Fancy Pants Club Band?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Oh, come on! You could at least give them a chance!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, to do what, sharpen their pitchforks?<br />
:'''Fiona''': No, they just want to give you their blessing.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, great. Now I need their blessing?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Well, if you wanna be a part of this family, yes!<br />
:'''Shrek''': And ''who'' says I wanna be a part of this family?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Um, ''you'' did, when you married ''me''!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Well, there's some fine print for you!<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[sighs exasperatedly]'' So, that's it? You won't come?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Trust me, it's a bad idea. We are not going, and ''that's final!''<br />
----<br />
:''[the onion carriage approaches slowly beside the sign "700 Miles to Far, Far Away" on it, beside a line up of trees and humongous mountains]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Shrek''': No.<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage surrounded by pouring rain and thunder on a stone-shaped mountain]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Not yet.<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage on a snowy mountain surrounded by a large line up of falling snow, the sign reads "200 Miles to Far, Far Away" also]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[sing-song]'' Okay, are we there yet?<br />
:'''Fiona''': No.<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage surrounded by leafless trees in the snow]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Shrek''': No!<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage next to stone-shaped walls made with baron rock]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are; we there, yet?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Yes.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Really?<br />
:'''Shrek''': No!<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage on a bridge next to a giant waterfall]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Fiona''': No!<br />
:''[the scene cuts to an onion carriage passing the sign reading "100 Miles to Far, Far Away" in front of a line up of wooden oak trees]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Shrek''': No, we're not!<br />
:''[scene dissolves]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': ARE WE THERE YET?<br />
:'''Shrek/Fiona''': <big>'''NO!!!!'''</big><br />
:''[split second]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Are we there y...<br />
:'''Shrek''': Are we there yet?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Hey, that's no...<br />
:'''Shrek''': That's not funny.<br />
:'''Donkey''': That's...<br />
:'''Shrek''': That's immature!<br />
----<br />
:''[Shrek gulps at the dinner table. To his sides sits Lillian and Fiona, and across from him sits Harold. Lillian looks around nervously and Harold angrily stares at Shrek. Shrek, unsure of how to eat the food on his plate properly, plops it in his mouth, and grins with the food still stuck in his teeth. Lillian cringes. Fiona tries to sip her drink courteously]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[lets out a loud belch that interrupts a conversation]'' Oh! Excuse me.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Better out than in, I always say. Eh, Fiona? ''[he and Fiona laughed]'' That's good enough... '' [they stopped laughing after neither Harold nor Lillian join in]'' I guess not.<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[from another room]'' What do you mean, "not on the list"? Don't tell me you don't know who I am. ''[bursts into the scene from the kitchen]'' Hey! What's happening, everybody? Thanks for waiting. You know I had the hardest time finding this place. ''[sits next to Harold]''<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[angrily]'' No, no! Bad Donkey! Bad, down!<br />
:'''Fiona''': No, no, no, Dad! Dad! It's all right! It's all right. He’s with us. He helped rescue me from the dragon.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Yup, that's me: the noble steed. ''[to the server]'' Hey, waiter! How ‘bout a bowl for the steed?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, boy. ''[slurps from the bowl]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': Um, Shrek?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Yeah? Oh, sorry! Great soup, Mrs Q. Mmm!<br />
:'''Fiona''': No, no, no. Darling. ''[demonstrates that the bowl he ate from is for washing his hands]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh. ''[chuckles]''<br />
:'''Lillian''': ''[as the rest does the same]'' So, Fiona, tell us about where you live?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Well, Shrek owns his own land. ''[to Shrek]'' Don't you, honey?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, yes! It's in an enchanted forest abundant in squirrels and...cute little duckies and--<br />
:'''Donkey''': What?! ''[laughs]'' I know you ain't talkin' about the swamp!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[clenches through his teeth]'' Donkey.<br />
:'''Harold''': An ogre from a swamp. Oh! How original. ''[Donkey dunks his mouth in his bowl and drinks]''<br />
:'''Lillian''': Well, I suppose that would be a fine place to raise the children...<br />
:''[Harold starts choking on his drink and Shrek accidentally swallows his spoon. They both cough, choke and splutter until Shrek spits out his spoon onto the table.]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[chuckles]'' It's a bit early to be thinking about that, isn't it?<br />
:'''Harold''': Indeed. I just started eating.<br />
:'''Lillian''': Harold!<br />
:'''Shrek''': What's that supposed to mean?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Dad, it's great, okay?<br />
:'''Harold''': Well, for his type, yes.<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[offended]'' ''My'' type?!<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[starts to leave, nervously]'' Uh, I gotta go to the bathroom.<br />
:'''The Chef''': ''[he and a host of servers enter the room with dinner, including a whole turkey, lobster, and a roast pig.]'' Dinner is-a served!<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[sits back down]'' Never mind, I can hold it. ''[The servers set the food on the table.]''<br />
:'''The Chef''': Bon appetit!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, Mexican food! My favorite!<br />
:'''Lillian''': Well, let's just not sit here with our tummies rumblin', everybody dig in.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Don't mind if I do, Lillian!<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[pulls the lobster towards himself before Donkey can take a bite out of it]'' So, I suppose any grandchildren I could expect from you would be--<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[pulls the turkey towards him]'' Ogres? ''Yes.''<br />
:'''Lillian''': Not that there's anything wrong with that. Right, Harold?<br />
:'''Harold''': Oh, no! No! Of course, not! That is, assuming you don't ''[ferociously and savagely stabs the knife into the lobster]'' ''EAT'' your own ''[ferociously and savagely slices open the lobster]'' ''YOUNG!''<br />
:'''Fiona''': Dad!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, no, we usually prefer the ones who've been... ''[ferociously and savagely rips off both drumsticks from the turkey]'' ''LOCKED'' away in a tower! ''[ferociously and savagely takes a bite out of one drumstick in his left hand]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[begging]'' Shrek, please!<br />
:'''Harold''': I only did that because I '''''love''''' her.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, aye! Daycare or dragon-guarded castle?! ''[ferociously and savagely pulls out a wish bone from the turkey]''<br />
:'''Harold''': You wouldn't understand! You're not her father!<br />
:''[Fiona sighs in exasperation and facepalms herself as Shrek and Harold continue to rip apart their food in ferocity and savagery, sending bits and pieces flying across the table.]''<br />
:'''Lillian''': It's so nice to have the family together for dinner. ''[Shrek and Harold stand up from their seats in rage and glare at each other, then ferociously and savagely tug over the roast pig in the middle of the table, accidentally sending it flying upwards]'' Harold!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Shrek!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Fiona?!<br />
:'''Harold''': Fiona!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Mom!<br />
:'''Lillian''': Harold!<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[happily]'' Donkey!<br />
:''[The roast pig lands on the table in front of Donkey and Lillian with a thud; Fiona angrily stands up and glares at Harold and Shrek, then runs out of the room, causing Harold to become enraged and Shrek to sigh.]''<br />
----<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[after popping the bubble, close encountering Fiona]'' My name is Fairy Godmother.<br />
:'''Fiona''': I have a fairy godmother!<br />
----<br />
:'''Shrek''': Fiona? Fiona?! ''[barges into the room along with Donkey. Fairy Godmother gasps at Shrek]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, you got a puppy?! All I got in my room was shampoo.<br />
:'''Fiona''': Oh, um, Fairy Godmother, furniture, I'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[confused]'' Your husband? What did you say? When did this happen?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Shrek is the one ''who'' rescued me.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[angrily]'' But that can't be right!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[wearily]'' Oh, great! More relatives!<br />
:'''Fiona''': She's just trying to help.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Good! She can help us pack. Get your coat, dear. We're leaving.<br />
:'''Fiona''': What?!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Leaving? I don't wanna leave.<br />
:'''Fiona''': When did you decide this?<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[as he is packing]'' Shortly after arrivin'.<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[remorsefully]'' Look, I'm sorry...<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': No, no, no, that's okay. I need to go anyway. But remember, dear, if you should ever need me, ''[whips out a "Happiness" business card]'' happiness is just a teardrop away.<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[snatches the "Happiness" card from Fairy Godmother; sarcastically]'' Thanks, but we've got ''all'' the happiness we need. Happy, happy, happy.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': So I see. ''[laughs in a not so good way]'' Let's go, Kyle. ''[Kyle whips the horses on the carriage and he and the Fairy Godmother leaves]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[sarcastically]'' Very nice, Shrek.<br />
:'''Shrek''': What? I told you that comin' here was a bad idea.<br />
:'''Fiona''': You could have at least tried to get along with my father.<br />
:'''Shrek''': You know, somehow, I don't think I was going to get daddy's blessing, even if I did want it.<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[as a bichon Frise starts barking]'' Well, do you think it might be nice if somebody asked me what I wanted?!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Sure. Do you want me to pack for you?!<br />
:'''Fiona''': You're unbelievable! You're behavin' like a... ''[hesitates and sighs]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Go on, say it!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Like an ''OGRE!''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Well, here's a newsflash for you, whether your parents like it or not, '''''I AM AN OGRE.''''' ''[the puppy barks even louder; Shrek furiously and roars at it, scares the puppy, who covers its face in fear]'' And guess what, Princess? That's '''''NOT''''' about to change.<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[sadly walks to the door]'' I've made changes for you, Shrek. Think about that. ''[leaves]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[deadpan]'' That's real smooth, Shrek. ''[imitating Shrek]'' ''I'M AN OGRE! UARGH!''<br />
:''[Shrek walks to the door and hears Fiona sob from outside of the bedroom and sighs in guilt, realizing what he has done to hurt her feelings. The camera pans northeast to Harold and Lillian's room.]''<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[after hearing Shrek and Fiona's argument]'' I knew this would happen!<br />
:'''Lillian''': You should. You started it.<br />
:'''Harold''': I can hardly believe that, Lillian. I mean, really, he's the ogre, not me.<br />
:'''Lillian''': I think, Harold, you're taking this a little too personally. ''This'' is Fiona's choice.<br />
:'''Harold''': Yes, but she was supposed to choose the prince ''we'' picked out for her! I mean, you expect me to give my blessings to this... this... thing?<br />
:'''Lillian''': Fiona does, and she'll never forgive you if you don't. I don't want to lose our daughter again, Harold. ''[Harold sighs]'' Oh, you act as if love is totally predictable. Don't you remember when we were young and, oh, we used to walk down by the lily pond, and they were in bloom.<br />
:'''Harold''': Our first kiss. IT'S NOT THE SAME! I don't think you realize that our daughter has married a MONSTER!<br />
:'''Lillian''': Oh, stop being such a drama king.<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[as Fairy Godmother's carriage approaches]'' Fine, fine! Pretend that there's nothing wrong! La-di-da, di-da, di-da! It's all wonderful! I like to know how could it get any worse!<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[opens the door]'' Hello, Harold.<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[scared]'' Aaah!<br />
:'''Lillian''': What happened?<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[hesitantly]'' Uh, nothing! Nothing, dear! Just the old crusade wound playing up a bit! ''[chuckles]'' I’ll just stretch it out here for a while. ''[closes the balcony door]''<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': You better get in. We need to talk.<br />
:'''Harold''': Actually, Fairy Godmother, just off to bed. ''[yawns]'' Already taken my pills, and they tend to make me a bit drowsy. So, um how about... we make this a quick visit. What? ''[bumps into two of her henchmen, who then get him in the carriage]'' Oh, hello.<br />
----<br />
:'''Harold''': So, what's new?<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[to Harold]'' You remember my son, Prince Charming? ''[shows him sitting next to her]''<br />
:'''Harold''': Charming! Is that you? My gosh, it's been years! When, uh... When did you get back?<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Oh, about five minutes ago, actually. ''[enraged]'' After I endured blistering winds, scorching desert, I climbed to the highest room of the tallest tower--<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[cuts him off]'' Tut, tut, tut. Mummy can handle this. ''[to King Harold, using the same tone he used earlier]'' He endures blistering winds and scorching desert! He climbs to the highest bloody room of the tallest bloody tower, and what does he find? Some gender-confused wolf telling him that ''his'' princess... '''''is already married!'''''<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[stammers]'' I mean, it wasn't my fault; He didn't get there in time.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': '''''STOP THE CAR!''' [the carriage screeches to a stop]'' Harold... ''[two of her henchmen crack their knuckles as the window rolls down]'' You forced me to do something I '''''really''''' don't want to do.<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[gasps]'' Where are we?<br />
:''[It is revealed that the carriage has pulled up at a fast-food restaurant drive-thru.]''<br />
:'''Fast-food Clerk''': ''[cheerfully]'' Well, hi there! Welcome to Friar's Fat Boy. May I take your order?<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': My diet is ruined! I hope you're happy. ''[to the fast-food clerk]'' Uh, okay. Two renaissance wraps, no mayo... chili rings...<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': I'll have the medieval meal.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': One medieval meal and, Harold. Curly fries?<br />
:'''Harold''': No, thank you.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Sourdough soft taco, then? What do you want?<br />
:'''Harold''': No, really. I'm fine.<br />
:'''Fast-food Clerk''': ''[gives Fairy Godmother their meals]'' Your order, Fairy Godmother. ''[also gives her a free double-headed toy axe]'' And ''this'' comes with the medieval meal.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[gives the axe to Charming]'' Here you are, dear. ''[the carriage flies away]'' You see, we made a deal, Harold, and I assume you don't want me to go back on my part.<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[sighs deeply]'' Indeed not.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': So, Fiona and Charming ''will be together''.<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[doubtfully]'' Yes.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Oh, believe me, Harold. It's what's best, not only for your daughter.''[She takes a bite of her wrap taco and talks with her mouth full]'' But for your kingdom.<br />
:''[The carriage pulls up back at the castle and one of her henchmen shoves Harold out]''<br />
:'''Harold''': Well, what am ''I'' supposed to do about it?<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[tosses the double-headed toy axe into his hands]'' Use your imagination. ''[flies off]''<br />
----<br />
:'''Harold''': Uh, no. You must be mistaking me for someone else. Uh, excuse me. I'm looking for the Ugly Stepsister. ''[said Ugly Stepsister reveals herself]'' Ah. There you are. Right. You see, I need to have someone taken care of.<br />
:'''Ugly Stepsister''': Who's the guy?<br />
:'''Harold''': Um, he's not a guy, per se, um, he's ''[whispers]'' an ''ogre''.<br />
:''[The entire bar gasp at Harold saying "ogre"; the piano stops playing.]''<br />
:'''Ugly Stepsister''': Hey, buddy, let me clue you in. There's only one fellow who can handle a job like that, and, frankly... he don't like to be ''disturbed''.<br />
:'''Harold''': Where could I find him? ''[heads to the backroom and knocks, slowly opens the door]'' Uh, hello? ''[sees a pair of black boots beside the shining window]''<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[opens his eyes]'' Who dares enter my room?<br />
:'''Harold''': Sorry. I hope I'm not interrupting anything. But I was told that you are the one to handle an ogre... problem.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': You are told correct. ''[scoffs]'' But for this, I charge a great deal of money.<br />
:'''Harold''': Would this be enough? ''[places a bag of coins on the table]''<br />
:''[Puss in Boots stands up and raises his sword to slice off the string, causing gold coins to spill out of the sack.]''<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Hmm. You have engaged my valuable services. ''[grins]'' Your Majesty. Just tell me: Where I can find this ogre?<br />
----<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[to Shrek, after reading Fiona's diary]'' Oh, sorry; I hope I'm not interrupting anything.<br />
:'''Shrek''': No, no; I was, uh...reading a scary book.<br />
----<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[is an orange cat wearing black hat and cape]'' Ha-ha. Fear me, if you dare. ''[hisses]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, look, a little cat.<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[sees the sword in Puss' paws]'' Look out, Shrek! He got a piece!<br />
:'''Shrek''': It's a cat, Donkey. Come here little, kitty, kitty, kitty. Come on. Kitty. ''[Puss screeches and attacks Shrek and he screams]'' <br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[gasps in shock]'' Hold on, Shrek!<br />
:'''Shrek''': GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! OH, GOD!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Shrek, hold still! ''[kicks the Shrek's bottom and moans]'' Did I miss?<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[painfully]'' No, you got him.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[after he attacks Shrek]'' Now ye ogre! Pray for mercy from... ''[slashes "P" on the tree]'' Puss... in Boots!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[groans]'' I'll kill that cat!<br />
:'''Donkey''': No!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Ah-ha-ha-ha! ''[drops the sword, then starts heaves for a second, confusing Shrek and Donkey; spits out the hairball and coughs]'' Phew. ''[chuckles]'' Hairball.<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[disgusted]'' Oh, that is nasty!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[picks up Puss by the back of the neck]'' What do you reckon we should do with him?<br />
:'''Donkey''': I say we take the sword and neuter him right here; Give him the Bob Barker treatment!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[frightened]'' Oh, no! Por favor! Please! I implore you! It was nothing personal, Señor! I was doing it only for my family. My mother, she is sick. And my father lives off the garbage! The king offered me much in gold and I have a litter of brothers--<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[covers Puss' mouth with his finger]'' Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Fiona's father paid you to do this?<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': The rich king? Sí. ''[Shrek drops him to the ground, who screeches]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[sighs]'' Well, so much for Dad's royal blessing.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, come on, Shrek, don't feel bad. Almost everybody that meets you wants to kill you.<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[sits on the rock]'' Gee, thanks. ''[looks down at the river reflection and sighs]'' Maybe Fiona would have been better off if I were some sort of Prince Charming.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Sí, that's what the king said. ''[Donkey glares angrily]'' Oh, uh...sorry. I thought that question was directed at me.<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[walks over to Shrek]'' Shrek, Fiona knows you'd do anything for her.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Well, it's not like I wouldn't change if I could. I just...I just wish I could make her happy. ''[pauses out; to Donkey]'' Hold the phone... ''[pulls out Fairy Godmother's business card]'' "Happiness." ''[flips it over]'' "A tear drop away." Donkey, think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, man, where do I begin? Well first there was the time that old farmer tried to sell me for some magic beans. I ain't never got over that. Then this fool went off and had a party and he had the guests trying to pin the tail on me. Then they got all drunk and start beatin' me with a stick going, "Piñata! Piñata!" What is a piñata, anyway?!<br />
:'''Shrek''': No, Donkey, I need you to cry!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Yeah, well don't go projecting on me! I know you're feelin' bad, but you gotta let your own- ''[Puss angrily stomps on his hoof]'' '''''OW!!!!!!!!!''''' ''[tearfully]'' You little hairy litter-licking sack of... ''[Donkey's tears shed and Shrek lets it drop onto the card, conjuring a bubble with Fairy Godmother in it]''<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''["Voice Message" Bubble forms after landing]'' What? Is it on? Is it on? ''[clears her throat]'' This is Fairy Godmother. I'm either away from my desk or with a client, but if you come by the office, we'll be glad to give you a personal appointment. Have a Happy Ever After! ''[the bubble pops]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Ohhh.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Are you up for a little quest, Donkey?<br />
:'''Donkey''': That's more like it! Shrek and Donkey, on another whirlwind adventure! ''[singing]'' Ain't no stoppin' us now! Whoo! We're on the move!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Stop, ogre! ''[bows to Shrek]'' I have misjudged you.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Join the club. We've got jackets.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': On my honor, I am obliged to accompany you until I have saved your life as you have spared me mine.<br />
:'''Donkey''': I'm sorry, the position of annoying talking animal has already been taken. Let's go, Shrek! ''[sees Shrek walking to Puss]'' Shrek? ''[slightly pauses; Shrek looks down at Puss, who gives him a cute, helpless look; Shrek smiles]'' Shrek!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Aw, come on, Donkey. Look at him; in his wee little boots. You know, how many cats can wear boots? Honestly. Aw, let's keep him!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Say what?! ''[Puss purrs and Shrek marvels at his cuteness; groans in frustration]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Aw, listen. He's purring!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, so now it's cute!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Aw, come on, Donkey. Lighten up.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Lighten up?! Oh, I should lighten up?! Look who's telling who to lighten up!<br />
----<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[close encountering a humongous factory with colored smoke]'' Oh, no; that's the old Keebler's place! Let's just back away slowly.<br />
----<br />
:''[Shrek, Donkey, and Puss arrive at the Fairy Godmother's potion factory]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Hi. I'm here to see...<br />
:'''Jerome''': The Fairy Godmother. I'm sorry, she is not in.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[from the gramophone intercom]'' Jerome! Coffee and a monte Christo, now.<br />
:'''Jerome''': ''[sighs]'' Yes, Fairy Godmother. Right away. ''[to Shrek]'' Look, she's not seeing any client today, okay?<br />
:'''Shrek''': That's okay, buddy. We're from the union.<br />
:'''Jerome''': The union?<br />
:'''Shrek''': We represent the workers in all magical industries both evil and benign.<br />
:'''Jerome''': Oh, oh, right.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Are you feeling at all degraded or oppressed?<br />
:'''Jerome''': Uh... ''[turns the gramophone intercom away from him]'' A little. W-We don't even have dental.<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[whispers to Donkey]'' They don't even have dental. ''[to Jerome]'' Okay, we're just gonna have a look around. Oh, by the way, I think it would better if the Fairy Godmother didn't know we were here. Know what I'm saying? Huh?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Hmm?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Huh?<br />
:'''Donkey''': Huh? Huh?! '''''HUH?!?!'''''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Stop it!<br />
:'''Jerome''': Of course. Go right in.<br />
----<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Ah, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh... "Princess"! ''Cinderella''. Here we are: "Lived happily ever after." Oh. ''[fake chuckles]'' No ogres. Let's see. ''Snow White''. "A handsome prince." Ah, no ogres. ''[[Sleeping Beauty (1959 film)|Sleeping Beauty]]''. Oh, no ogres. ''[[Hansel and Gretel (2002 film)|Hansel and Gretel]]''. No. ''[[Thumbelina (1994 film)|Thumbelina]]''. No! ''The Golden Bird'', ''[[The Little Mermaid (1989 film)|The Little Mermaid]]'', ''[[Pretty Woman]]''. No, no, no, no, NO! You see, ogres don't live happily ever after.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Alright, look, lady!<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Don't you point those dirty green sausages at me! ''[pushes his finger out of her face]''<br />
:'''Worker''': Your Monte Christo and coffee. Oh! Sorry.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Ah, that's okay. We were just leaving. Very sorry to have wasted your time, Miss Godmother.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Just... go.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Come on, guys. ''[leaves]''<br />
----<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, yeah, you're right. I'm sure nice BM is the perfect solution for marital problems!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Elfa Seltzer.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Uh-uh.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Hex Lax. <br />
:'''Shrek''': No. Try "handsome".<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Sorry, no handsome. ''[finds a blue potion bottle labeled; "Happily Ever After" in the restricted shelf]'' Hey, how about Happily Ever After?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Well, what does it do? <br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': It says "Beauty Divine".<br />
:'''Donkey''': In some creatures, donkeys are revered as the wisest of all creatures. Especially us talking ones.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey! Then we'll have to. We got company. <br />
:'''Donkey''': Will you get on with this.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Hurry! ''[Puss pulls the blue potion, but drops it]'' Nice catch, Donkey.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Finally! A good use for your mouth. ''[More colors of potions drop, the siren sounds, and the door begins to close.]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Come on!<br />
----<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': What?! Where is he, mum? ''[raises his sword due to the incident of Fairy Godmother's potion factory]'' I shall rend their heads from their shoulders! I will smite them where he stabs. He will rue the very day HE STOLE MY KINGDOM FROM ME!<br />
----<br />
:''[After escaping Fairy Godmother's potion factory]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[reading the potion bottle]'' "Happily Ever After Potion. Maximum strength. "For you and your true love. If one of you drinks this, you both will be fine. Happiness, comfort and beauty divine."<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[confused]'' You both will be fine?<br />
:'''Shrek''': I guess it means it'll affect Fiona too. ''[opens the potion bottle]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Hey, man, this don't feel right. My donkey senses are tingling all over. So why don't you just drop that jug o' voodoo, and let's get out of here.<br />
:'''Shrek''': It says, "beauty divine". How bad can it be? ''[sniffs the potion and sneezes]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': A-ha! See, You're allergic to that stuff. You'll have a reaction. And if you think that I'll be smearing Vapor Rub all over your chest, think again!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Boss, just in case there is something wrong with the potion... allow me to take the first sip. It would be an honor to lay my life on the line for you.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Oh, no, no. I don't think so. If there'll be any animal testing, I'll do it. That’s the best friend's job. Now give me that bottle. ''[snatches the potion bottle from Shrek's hands with his mouth and starts drinking it, but Shrek snatches it back from Donkey]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': How do you feel?<br />
:'''Donkey''': I don't ''feel'' any different. Do I look any different?<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': You still look like an ass to me.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Maybe it doesn't work on donkeys. Well, here's to us, Fiona.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Shrek? You drink that, there's no going back.<br />
:'''Shrek''': I know.<br />
:'''Donkey''': No more wallowing in the mud?<br />
:'''Shrek''': I know.<br />
:'''Donkey''': No more itchy butt crack?<br />
:'''Shrek''': I know!<br />
:'''Donkey''': But you love being an ogre!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''I know!'' ''[sighs]'' But I love Fiona more. ''[starts chugging the potion]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Shrek, no! Wait! ''[Shrek swallows the potion, then feels his stomach gurglin'. Donkey and Puss hides behind the rock, then Shrek farts]'' Got to be... Shrek, I think you grabbed the "Farty Ever After" potion.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Maybe it's a dud.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Or maybe Fiona and I were never meant to be.<br />
:''[Dark storm clouds appear above Shrek, Donkey and Puss.]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Uh-oh. What did I tell you? I feel something coming on. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die! ''[rain starts pouring, soaking the trio and getting them wet]'' Oh, sweet sister, mother of mercy! '''I'm melting!''' '''''I'M MELTING!!'''''<br />
:'''Shrek''': It's just the rain, Donkey.<br />
:''[Donkey chuckles as they head to a barn for some shelter. The blue ooze from Shrek's sneeze reaction on the mushroom transforms into a flower rose.]''<br />
----<br />
:''[After Shrek, Donkey and Puss arrived at the barn for shelter for the night]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Shrek, don't worry. Things seem bad because it's dark and rainy and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you. ''[Puss hisses at him]'' It'll be better in the morning. You'll see. ''[sings, then gets dizzy]'' The sun'll come out... Tomorrow... Bet your bottom...<br />
:'''Shrek''': Bet my bottom?<br />
:'''Donkey''': I'm comin', Elizabeth! ''[faints]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey? A-Are you all right?<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Hey, boss. Let's shave him.<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[gets dizzy]'' D-Donkey...? ''[groans and faints and land on Puss’ tail as he yowls off-screen]''<br />
----<br />
:''[Later this morning, the Jill and maidens woke up]''<br />
:'''Jill''': Good morning, sleepyhead.<br />
:'''Maidans''': Good morning! We lover your kitty.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, my head.<br />
:'''Jill''': Here. I fetched you a pail of water.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Thanks. ''[sees his human hands, picks up the wooden bucket; sees a human version of himself, drops the bucket and spills water]'' Oh. ''[checks his skin to make sure]'' A cute, button nose? Thick, wavy locks? Thick, round buttocks? I must be...<br />
----<br />
:'''Knight''': Halt!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Tell Princess Fiona her husband Sir Shrek is here to see you!<br />
:''[A white bird flies past one of the windows of the Far, Far Away Castle and goes to Fiona's room. Fiona looks at the reflection, realizing she is a human again, and screams.]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Fiona!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Shrek?<br />
----<br />
:''[the Fairy Godmother raises her wand and doors close, the Chest of Drawers blocks Shrek's way]''<br />
:'''Talking Chest Drawer''': You wanna dance, pretty boy?<br />
----<br />
:'''Doris''': There you go, boys.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Just leave the bottle, Doris.<br />
:'''Doris''': Hey, why the long face?<br />
:'''Shrek''': It was all just a stupid mistake. I never should have rescued her from that tower in the first place.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': I hate Mondays.<br />
:'''Donkey''': I can't believe you're just gonna walk away from the best thing that happened to you.<br />
:'''Shrek''': What choice do I have? She loves that pretty boy, Prince Charming.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Aw, come on, Shrek. Is he really that good-looking?<br />
:'''Doris''': Are you kidding? He's gorgeous! He has a face that looks like it was carved by angels.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Oh, he sounds dreamy.<br />
:'''Shrek''': You know, shockingly, this isn't making me feel any better. ''[sighs]'' Look, guys, it's for the best. Mom and Dad approve, and Fiona gets the man she's always dreamed of. Everybody wins.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Except you. I don't get it, Shrek. You love Fiona.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Aye. And that's why I have to let her go.<br />
:'''Harold''': Um, excuse me. Is she here?<br />
:'''Doris''': She's, uh, in the back.<br />
:'''Harold''': Oh, hello again!<br />
----<br />
:'''Harold''': Fairy Godmother. Charming.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Ugh, you'd better have a good reason for dragging us down here, Harold.<br />
:'''Harold''': Well, I'm afraid Fiona isn't really... warming up to Prince Charming.<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Um, FYI, not my fault.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': No, no, of course it's not, dear.<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': I mean, how charming can I be when I have to pretend that I'm that dreadful ogre?<br />
:'''Harold''': No, no, it's nobody's fault. Perhaps it's best if we just call the whole thing off, okay?<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother and Prince Charming''': ''[in unison; shocked]'' What?!<br />
:'''Harold''': I mean, you can't force someone to fall in love!<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Oh, I beg to differ. I do it all the time. ''[pulls out the Love Potion 9 vial and hands it to Harold, and he takes it]'' Have Fiona drink this and she'll fall in love with the first man she kisses, which will be Charming.<br />
:'''Harold''': Umm, no.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': What did you say?<br />
:'''Harold''': ''[stutters]'' I...I...I can't. I...I won't do it.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Oh, yes, you will. If you remember, I helped you with your happily ever after. And I can '''''take''''' it away just as easily. ''[sticks her wand in his face]'' Is that what you want? Is it?<br />
:'''Harold''': No.<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[puts down her wand]'' Good boy. Now, we have to go. I need to do Charming's hair before the ball. He's hopeless. Y'know he's all high in the front, he can never get to the back. You always need someone to do the back of your hair.<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Oh. Thank you, mother.<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[from outside the window; shocked]'' MOTHER?! ''[Fairy Godmother, Charming and Harold turn their heads fast to see Shrek, Donkey and Puss outside the window, hearing everything]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Um, Mary! A talking horse!<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[enraged]'' The ogre! ''[Shrek, Donkey, and Puss ride away from the Poison Apple; flies after them, telling the knights to get them; furious] '''STOP THEM! THIEVES! BANDITS! STOP THEM!'''''<br />
----<br />
:'''Magic Mirror''': We'll be right back for more ''Far, Far Away Ball'' after these messages.<br />
:'''Gingy''': I hate these ball shows. They bore me to tears! Flip over to Wheel of Torture!<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': I'm not flipping anywhere; sir, 'til I see Shrek and Fiona!<br />
----<br />
:'''Harold''': Darling? Ah, I thought I might find you here. How about a nice hot cup of tea before the ball?<br />
:'''Fiona''': I'm not going.<br />
:'''Harold''': But the whole kingdom's turned out to celebrate your marriage.<br />
:'''Fiona''': There's just one problem: That’s not my husband.''[sees Prince Charming]'' I mean, look at him!<br />
:'''Harold''': Yes, he is a bit different, but people change for the ones they love you’d be surprised how much I change for your mother change.<br />
:'''Fiona''': "Change"? ''[about Prince Charming]'' He's completely lost his mind.<br />
:'''Harold''': Honey, why not come down to the ball and give him another chance? I mean, you might find you like this new Shrek.<br />
:'''Fiona''': But it's the ''old'' one I fell in love with, dad!<br />
:'''Harold''': Uh, honey, that’s mine. Decaf. Otherwise, I'm up all night.<br />
:'''Fiona''': Thanks.<br />
----<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[screaming]'' I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE! YOU CAN'T LOCK US LIKE THIS! LET ME GO! WHAT ABOUT MY MIRANDA RIGHTS?! You're supposed to say, "You have the right to remain silent." '''NOBODY SAID I HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!'''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey, you ''have'' the right to remain silent. What you lack is the capacity.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[camera shows just him]'' I must hold on before I, too, go totally mad.<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': Shrek? Donkey?<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[looks up to see fairy tale creatures above him]'' Too late.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Gingy, Pinocchio, get us out of here!<br />
----<br />
:'''Shrek''': Quick, tell a lie!<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': What should I say?<br />
:'''Gingy''': Anything, but quick!<br />
:'''Donkey''': Say something crazy, like, "I'm wearing ladies underwear!"<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': I'm wearing ladies underwear.<br />
:''[But nothing happens; he is telling the truth]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Are you?<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': I most certainly am not! ''[his nose extends]''<br />
:'''Mini Donkey''': It looks like you most certainly am are!<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': I am not! ''[his nose extends more]''<br />
:'''Puss''': What kind?<br />
:'''Gingy''': It's a thong! ''[pulls at his pink thong and lets it slap back]''<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': Ow! They're briefs!<br />
:'''Gingy''': ''[takes the key and runs across Pinocchio's nose as it continues to extend with each denial]'' Are not!<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': Are too!<br />
:'''Gingy''' Are not!<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': Are too!<br />
:'''Gingy''': ''[reaches Shrek and uses the key to free Shrek, Donkey, and Puss]'' Alright, here we go. Hang tight.<br />
:''[Shrek lands his feet on the cell floor, followed by Puss.]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': Wait, wait, wait! Ow! Ow! Hey, hey, hey! ''[lands on his back on the cell floor]'' Ow! ''[Shrek looks at the Far Far Away palace from outside the window]''<br />
:'''Blind Mouse''': ''[muffled; to Puss]'' Excuse me?!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[hears a muffled voice]'' What? ''[sees the mouse's tail sticking out from Puss' mouth; shocked]'' Puss!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[realizing he has Blind Mouse in his mouth]'' Hmm?<br />
:'''Blind Mouse''': Pardon me? Would you mind letting me go?<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[spits Blind Mouse out; sheepishly]'' Sorry, boss.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Quit messing around! We've got to stop that kiss!<br />
:'''Donkey''': I thought you were gonna let her go.<br />
:'''Shrek''': I was, but I can't let him do this to Fiona.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Boom! That's what I like to hear. Look who's finally coming around!<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': It's impossible! We'll never get in. The castle is guarded and there is a moat and everything!<br />
:'''Gingy''': Well, folks, it looks like we're up chocolate creek without a popsicle stick. ''[pausing; Shrek looks at him]'' What?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Do you still know the muffin man?<br />
:'''Gingy''': Well, sure. He's down on Drury Lane. Why?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Because we're gonna need flour. Lots and lots of flour.<br />
:''[Shrek and Gingy soon arrive at the bakery, where Shrek knocks on the door. The muffin man opens the door.]<br />
:'''Muffin Man''': ''[surprised]'' Gingy!<br />
:'''Gingy''': Fire up the ovens, Muffin Man. We've got a big order to fill!<br />
:''[cut to the outside of the bakery, thunder clapping is seen, and deep laughter is heard.]<br />
:'''Gingy''': [[Frankenstein (1910 film)|IT'S ALIVE!]]<br />
----<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[puzzled]'' Is that glitter on your lips?<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': Cherry flavored. Want a taste?<br />
----<br />
:''[Shrek and Donkey barged into the ball to rescue Fiona.]''<br />
:'''Shrek''': Stop! ''[to Charming]'' Hey, ''you!'' Back away from ''my'' wife!<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[puzzled]'' Shrek? ''[Everyone gasps]''<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''You'' couldn't just go back to ''your'' swamp and ''leave'' well enough alone!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[to the three little pigs]'' NOW!<br />
----<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': Harold! You were supposed to give her the potion!<br />
:'''Harold''': Well, I guess I gave her the wrong tea.<br />
:'''Prince Charming''': ''[his last words]'' Mommy! ''[grabs the wand from Puss and throws to Fairy Godmother]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': Mommy?<br />
:'''Fairy Godmother''': ''[catches her wand and growls; last and final words before her defeat]'' I told you, ogres don't live ''HAPPILY EVER '''AFTER!'''''<br />
:'''Lillian''': Harold!<br />
:'''Fiona''': Shrek!<br />
:'''Harold''': ''NO!'' ''[a transformation into a frog zaps his armor. Floats way up, checking to make sure and raises her wand, then disappears, turning into an explosion burst bubbles, only leaving her wand and her broken glasses that fell on the ground]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': Oh, Dad! ''[cries]''<br />
:'''Pinocchio''': Is he...<br />
:'''Gingy''': Yep. ''[a frog ribbit is heard]'' He croaked.<br />
:'''Lillian''': Harold?<br />
:'''Fiona''': Dad?<br />
:'''Harold''': I'd hoped you'd never see me like this.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Yeah, and he gave you a hard time.<br />
:'''Shrek''': Donkey!<br />
:'''Harold''': No, no, he's right. I'm sorry to both of you. I only wanted what was best for Fiona. But now I can see she finally has it. Shrek, Fiona, will you accept an old frog's apologies and my blessing?<br />
----<br />
:''[The clock strucks midnight]''<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Boss! The Happily Ever After potion!<br />
:'''Shrek''': Midnight! Fiona. Is this what you want? To be this way forever?<br />
:'''Fiona''': What?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Because if you kiss me now... we can stay like this.<br />
:'''Fiona''': You'd do that? For me?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Yes.<br />
:'''Fiona''': I want what any princess wants. To live happily ever after... ''[Shrek starts to lean a little closer to kiss her, but she puts her hand on his mouth]'' With the ogre I married. ''[Shrek smiles]''<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': Whatever happens, I must not cry! You cannot make me cry! ''[starts to sob quietly]''<br />
:''[Shrek and Fiona hold there hands and the levitate, and Donkey too. They begin to glow blue, suddenly, the blue glow turns gold, Lillian, Harold and the Fairytale Creatures watches Shrek, Fiona, Donkey break the spell. Shrek, Fiona, Donkey goes down to the ground]''<br />
:'''Gingy''': Wow!<br />
:'''Shrek''': ''[back to his normal form]'' Hey, you still look like a noble steed to me.<br />
:''[Donkey smiles as well]''<br />
:'''Fiona''': Now...where we're we?<br />
:'''Shrek''': Oh, I remembered.<br />
----<br />
:''[last lines; post credits]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[singing]'' [[w:All by Myself|All by myself, Don't wanna be all by myself... anymore]]<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': ''[enters with two ladies]'' ''Amigo.'' We are off to the [[w:Kit Kat|Kit Kat]] club. Come on, join us.<br />
:'''Donkey''': Thanks, compadre. I'm... I'm not in the mood.<br />
:'''Puss in Boots''': We will cheer you up! Find you a nice burro! ''[a roar is heard]''<br />
:'''Donkey''': ''[delighted]'' Hey, baby! ''[the Dragon from the [[Shrek|first film]] flies in the scene.]'' Hey, that's my girl! Yeah! All right! Baby, where you been? ''[Dragon cries]'' I’m sorry, too. I should've stayed. But Shrek had this thing he had to do. What? Say it one more time. What you talking about? Are you serious? ''[a baby dronkey flies in]''<br />
:'''Dronkey''': Papa!<br />
:'''Donkey''': '''''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!''''' ''[One breathes fire which Donkey avoids, the baby dronkeys fly in to hug him. Donkey laughs.]'' Look at our little mutant babies! ''[the Dragon blows a pink heart-shaped smoke, the scene cuts to black.]'' I gotta get a job.<br />
<br />
==''Far Far Away Idol''==<br />
:'''[[Simon Cowell]]''': You're on fire, Donkey.<br />
:'''Shrek''': No, you're really on fire!<br />
----<br />
:'''Simon Cowell''': Come on, get real, Pinocchio.<br />
:'''Shrek''': I find his performance quite wooden, actually. ''[laughs]'' Wooden.<br />
----<br />
:'''Simon Cowell''': ''[as Fiona plants a floor trap on Prince Charming while Shrek holds the red button]'' That's the artist formally known as Prince Charming.<br />
----<br />
:'''Fiona''': ''[watching Gingy & Tinker Bell dance and form a tune to The Archies "Sugar"]'' They're so sweet together.<br />
:'''Simon Cowell''': I just knew you'd say that, Fiona. ''[groans]'' What's next, a singing donut?<br />
----<br />
:'''Simon Cowell''': The cat's got my tongue, and possibly my vote. ''[notices Shrek and Fiona are not in their seats]'' Ugh. Always breaking the rules!<br />
----<br />
:''[after voting]''<br />
:'''Simon Cowell''': And the next ''Far, Far Away Idol'' is...<br>''[selecting Pinocchio]'' No, you got to be joking.<br>''[selecting Doris]'' Sorry, that is complete rubbish.<br>''[selecting Big Bad Wolf]'' Impossible, I won't allow it!<br>''[selecting Prince Charming]'' Please, I don't think so!<br>''[selecting Three Blind Mice]'' Sorry, I'm afraid you chose wrong.<br>''[selecting Gingy]'' Ugh, now you're being ridiculous!<br>''[selecting Captain Hook]'' That is just wrong!<br>''[throws away the note]'' Nope! It's me, everyone! ''[sings "My Way" by Frank Sinatra as Shrek and his friends cheer]''<br />
:'''Magic Mirror''': Ladies and gentlemen, our time is up here; but we'll look forward to see you next time on ''Far, Far Away Idol''!<br />
<br />
==Cast==<br />
* '''[[w:Mike Myers|Mike Myers]]''' — [[w:Shrek (character)|Shrek]] (speaking voice)<br />
** '''[[w:Michael Gough|Michael Gough]]''' – [[w:Shrek (character)|Shrek]] (singing voice)<br />
* '''[[Eddie Murphy]]''' — [[w:Donkey (Shrek)|Donkey]]<br />
* '''[[Cameron Diaz]]''' — [[w:Princess Fiona|Princess Fiona]]<br />
* '''[[Julie Andrews]]''' — Queen Lillian<br />
* '''[[w:Antonio Banderas|Antonio Banderas]]''' — [[w:Puss in Boots (Shrek)|Puss in Boots]]<br />
* '''[[John Cleese]]''' — King Harold<br />
* '''[[Rupert Everett]]''' — Prince Charming<br />
* '''[[w:Jennifer Saunders|Jennifer Saunders]]''' — [[w:Fairy Godmother (Shrek)|The Fairy Godmother]]<br />
* '''[[Frank Welker]]''' — [[w:Dragon (Shrek)|Dragon]], Dronkeys<br />
* '''[[w:Aron Warner|Aron Warner]]''' — Big Bad Wolf<br />
* '''[[w:Cody Cameron|Cody Cameron]]''' — Pinocchio, Three Pigs<br />
* '''[[w:Conrad Vernon|Conrad Vernon]]''' — Gingy, Muffin Man, Mongo<br />
* '''[[w:Christopher Knights|Chris Knights]]''' — Blind Mouse<br />
* '''[[Larry King]]''' — Doris the Ugly Stepsister<br />
* '''[[w:Chris Miller (animator)|Chris Miller]]''' — Magic Mirror<br />
* '''[[Joan Rivers|Joan Rivers — Herself]]'''<br />
<br />
== See also ==<br />
* ''[[Shrek]]'', a 2001 animated film.<br />
* ''[[Shrek the Third|Shrek 3]]'', the 2007 third film.<br />
* ''[[Shrek Forever After|Shrek 4]]'', the 2010 fourth film.<br />
* ''[[Puss in Boots (2011 film)|Puss in Boots]]'', a 2011 spin-off animated film.<br />
* ''[[Puss in Boots: The Last Wish|Puss in Boots 2: The Last Wish]]'', a 2022 sequel<br />
<br />
==Taglines==<br />
* In Summer 2004, They're Back for More.<br />
* Once Upon Another Time...<br />
* Not So Far, Far Away.<br />
<br />
== External links ==<br />
{{wikipedia}}<br />
* {{IMDb title|id=0298148|title=Shrek 2}}<br />
<br />
{{Shrek}}<br />
<br />
{{Authority control}}<br />
<br />
[[Category:2004 computer-animated films]]<br />
[[Category:2004 American animated films]]<br />
[[Category:2000s American animated films]]<br />
[[Category:American computer-animated films]]<br />
[[Category:American children's animated comedy films]]<br />
[[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]]<br />
[[Category:American sequel films]]<br />
[[Category:Shrek]]<br />
[[Category:Screenplays by Joe Stillman]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films about royalty]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films set in castles]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films set in the Middle Ages]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films about dragons]]<br />
[[Category:Animated films about cats]]<br />
[[Category:Films about princes]]<br />
[[Category:Animated buddy films]]<br />
[[Category:Fairy films]]<br />
[[Category:Films directed by Conrad Vernon]]<br />
[[Category:2000s English-language films]]<br />
[[Category:Films about potions]]<br />
[[Category:Films directed by Andrew Adamson]]<br />
[[Category:Films directed by Kelly Asbury]]</div>~2026-44937-18